We Don't Belong Here!

by Dark Krystal

Scales n' Tails

Anon smiles and kicks the door into the Castle of Friendship with a grin, in his right hand was his nice pouch full of bits. He fucking loved Twilights weekly allowance for being a good little human, payed for not telling ponies to go fuck themselves or harass them for fun. He couldn’t help but laugh at this beautiful system Twilight had created for him as he rounded the corner to the hallway of guest rooms / rooms. He was definitely going to spend this on buying a pie to throw in Starlights face for the “incident” last week.

“Oh Anon! Just the bro I needed right now!” Anon laughter instantly dies hearing that young masculine voice. He closes his eyes and tries to walk forward but the patting on his leg told him that there was no escape. Carrying out a sigh he opens his eyes and looks down at the drake named Spike. The most sidekick made creature in all of sidekick history.

“Didn’t see you there Spike.” Anon hides his growing resentment to the dragon. “What do you want?”

“I need your opinion on something real quick! Wait here!” Spike smiles and quickly runs to his room and closes the door. Anon sighs and hopes this isn’t something stupid or something that would actually make him spend the bits on therapy.

“So.. ugh! You know about the Amity Ball right?” Anon curses himself as Spike begins to converse with him through the door.
“The fucking what?” He narrows his eyes at the door.

“Oh it's uh.. An old pony tradition that was being renamed to WOAH WOAH WOAH WOOOOOAH!” Anon blinks as he hears the sound of crashing coming from within the room, for a second worry settles in, exactly a second.

“I’m okay! Anyway is a pony dance renamed to be for everycreature!” The sound of stuff being rearranged is heard from the door.

Anon nods. “Okkkkaaay…?”

“And Twilight chose me to be the DJ for the event!” Spike yells excitedly and laughs,

“That's go- She fucking what now?” Anon brain pauses the info relayed to him then replays it in reverse and then listens to it again. He blinks and his mouth slowly drops as he could’ve sworn he just said that he was going to be the DJ of an event.

“I’m going to be the DJ! You know, like Vinyl Scratch!”

“Oh my god.” Anon begged the gods that existed to please undo this mistake that he is hearing.

“I know right! So I wanted to get your opinion on my DJ outfit! Euuugh! There we go! Anon, prepare your eyes for my newest debut!” Anon shivered, he could’ve sworn a cold wind came from the door and sent a shiver down his spine, a warning from the gods perhaps!? Maybe he should make an excuse and book now to save him, yeah that's what’ll he’ll do.

“Hey Spike I gott-” The door opens and Anon pauses mid sentence as his pupils shrink and his jaw drops to the floor. He sees.... a mind numbing nightmare in created by the cruelest gods.

In front of him Spike wore a simple gray hoodie with yellow metal zipper, maybe gold. However the weird… spike shaped… glitter.. Oversized…helmet, hat, dome thingy. Anon stared at the dome helm, it was familiar somehow despite how atrocious it looked then it hit him. The human Musician Deadmau5 oh god, how and why did Spike decide to make a helmet that somehow made Deadmau5’s helmet look terrible, did it always look bad? Oh god he could feel bits of his teenagehood innocence fade away.

Was Deadmau5 cringe? Was listening to him cringe!? Oh god. Oh fuck. He shivered as this existential crisis rose within him. Spike tilts his head at him while carrying a smug expression at seeing Anon’s speechlessness.

“Looks really good doesn’t it! I designed and made it myself!” Spike puts his hands on his hips and smirks. Anon slowly blinks and then looks to his bag of bits then back to the drake.

`I don’t get paid enough to deal with this shit.`

“Looks….. really, really, really good buddy!” Anon says with gritted teeth and gives a thumbs up with his free hand. Spike's eyes sparkle and he looks up at Anon. “Really! Hahaha!”

Spike puts his hand on his waist and looks proudly at nowhere in particular, with a smirk and speaks. “DJ Scales n’ Tails is in business baby!” Anon physically lurches at the name Spike gave himself. Out of everything he named himself Scales and Tails? He couldn’t believe such a shitty name could actually make him cringe so bad that vomiting seemed to be a good thing.

“I-I'm sure you’ll… turn all the heads at the ball, Spike.” Anon gives the fakest smile he could muster.

“Awww Shucks, Anon I don’t think it's that good now but thanks!” Anon and wishes him well before speed walking to his room and dry heaving. He drops his bag of bits and stumbles over to his bed, falling on his knees and burying his face into his bedsheets. He screams. How could Spike do this? How could Spike make one of Anon’s precious memories cringe… how could Spike ruin his teenage youth years.

He was going to need therapy after this.

Author's Note:

Story Concept: Spikes godawful costume in shes all yak.

Honestly the fact that noone called out that outfit in the episode and the dj name in it was a sin so I felt like making a story about ones reaction to seeing the horror that is this outfit.