Sixty-five years since the coronation of Princess Twilight Sparkle.
Twilight groaned as a knock on her bedroom door interrupted her thoughts. She tossed a white sheet over the project she had been working on and magically unlocked the door.
“You’re late,” she growled as she heard the door open behind her. Seizing a nearby notebook, she began rapidly writing down notes on her latest theory.
“A-apologies, Princess,” a mare’s voice stammered. Sunshower approached and glanced nervously at the towering stack of papers on Twilight’s desk. “Is this all finished and ready to go?”
“No. It’s not,” Twilight replied curtly.
“Oh,” Sunshower muttered disappointedly. “Would you like me to go over the important matters for today and leave everything else on the desk with the, err, rest?” she asked, gesturing to the collected paperwork.
“Yes,” Twilight replied, doing her best to show her annoyance at having even been asked that particular question again.
“Very well,” the mare said quietly, sitting down in front of Twilight to read. “The first thing is the request for funding to rebuild Saddleshire. They-”
“Denied.”
“Denied? But-”
“They were warned by dozens of ponies not to attempt to settle in that particular floodplain and did anyway,” Twilight grunted. “Denied.”
“Okay... Next is the proposal by Duchess-”
“Don’t care, it can wait.”
Sunshower set the proposal aside and held up the next with an exasperated expression. “The trade agreement with-”
“Not urgent, put it with the rest.”
"Okay," Sunshower groaned. "Last we have an urgent request by Count Fairbank. You'll recall that he began a joint venture with the Adal Company that went poorly and their factory ended up spewing fifteen tons of cement into a nearby swamp."
"I remember. What does he want?" Twilight snapped.
"I guess the cleanup is turning out to be more difficult than anypony anticipated. He says it'll end up bankrupting both his family and the company. He's requesting assistance."
"Well, that's too bad," Twilight grumbled.
"Princess, Adal is a rather large company," Sunshower replied nervously. "Letting them go bankrupt could hurt-"
"They're the ones who screwed up, they're the ones who will have to fix it," Twilight interrupted. "Anything else?"
"No... Your Highness."
"Good. Leave me," Twilight replied, letting her annoyance spill into her voice.
Sunshower left with a sigh, closing the door behind her. As soon as Twilight was alone, she turned back to her desk and pulled off the sheet, revealing the Elements of Harmony laying on the table before her. She fixed her eyes of the Element of Loyalty and touched the cold stone. Black — like a lifeless lump of plastic — as it had been for the past two weeks. With its bearer gone, it seemed to have lost all its power; as if it had lost the will to live. Granted, all of the Elements had been acting up since Dash died, but Loyalty had become completely inert.
No, that wasn't true...
The rest of the Elements had been acting strangely since Applejack died. Since she fought with Rainbow and started pushing her remaining friends away. Could the Element's behavior be her fault?
She tore her eyes away from the Element of Honesty, and her current train of thought immediately ceased.
She shook her head, reeling back in shock, angry at the violation of her mind, only to inadvertently set her hoof down on Laughter. A powerful sorrow and regret filled her before she even realized what was happening, and she fell away from the table, landing hard on her back.
She stood up with a growl, and swiped her foreleg across the table, stubbing her hoof as Generosity refused to be moved. She clutched her hurting limb and began swearing angrily, but was silenced as a frightened scream manifested itself in her mind. Thrashing blindly through the skull-splitting headache, she felt around for something to alleviate her pain. Something soft rubbed against her hoof, so she seized it and hurled it over the table.
Immediately, silence returned to her thoughts as the blanket fell over Kindness, hiding her from its gaze.
As her vision slowly began to return to her, Twilight instinctively reached out and took the Element of Magic in her hooves. She turned the familiar weight over several times, taking comfort in it.
She had been going about this all wrong. There couldn’t be something wrong with each of the other Elements; it was close to impossible. There was only one problem, but it was shared between them, she realized.
The only way to fix it was to use the Element that linked all the rest together; the only Element that had been acting normally. Her Element.
She started channeling her spell, focusing as much magic as she could into the Element. She was filled with a supernatural elation as she began to feel around the magical matrices.
Then it came, feedback, like a bolt of lightning shooting through her horn. Pain beyond anything she had ever felt.
Her veins splitting open; her limbs being torn off. Every nerve ending aflame as Magic itself rebuked her intrusion. Her mind was battered with eldritch images of unknowable crimes committed in universes beyond her imagination.
The mere instant it lasted was a lifetime, and when Twilight’s senses returned, she found herself a short distance away, sitting with her back against her bed. Her face was soaked with sweat and tears, and she was clutching the ice-cold tiara to her chest, holding on for dear life.
She glared down at the Element. The betrayal... it hurt more than the feedback ever could have. Her breathing quickened. She heard herself let out an enraged scream as she hurled it across the room and it connected with the far wall to the sound of breaking glass.
“Oh no...” She lept up and bolted towards the Element, searching for whatever had been broken.
A picture frame, holding a photograph of her and Shining Armor, taken on the day he had been accepted into the Royal Guard. She gently lay it on her end table and dragged herself back over to her desk. She snatched a packet of paperwork from the top of the stack and beginning to read.
Another knocking interrupted her thoughts and she heaved a sigh. “Come in,” she grunted unenthusiastically.
The door opened quietly and she heard a pair of ponies enter. Twilight didn’t bother looking up from her papers. “What?”
“It’s us, Twilight,” a voice replied softly. She turned around to find Luna and Sweetie Belle standing in the doorway.
“And?”
“We’re worried about you. I know you’re depressed about losing Dash, but it’s been two weeks and you haven’t come out of here once,” Sweetie said timidly.
“And...?”
“And... We want you to come out?” Sweetie stated.
Twilight gave a sarcastic laugh. “We all want things,” she muttered, turning back to her report.
“Shutting yourself away like this isn’t good for you, Twilight,” Luna replied softly, sitting at her side. “It wouldn’t be good for anypony, but you especially. You need social interaction the way other ponies need water. With you refusing to leave your room, I can’t give it to you as often as you need it, and with Rainbow gone, she cannot remain here in my stead. If you won’t stop hiding from the world, would you at least venture out into the castle on occasion?”
“Or at least let me in here to see you?” Sweetie inserted.
“You two just don’t understand. Nopony does,” Twilight mumbled, turning her head away from Luna.
“That’s because you won’t let us!” Sweetie blurted out, her voice steadily rising. “You’re the pony who was always telling me to be open with my feelings; well how about you be open for a change! Does sitting up here alone really make you feel better?”
“That’s none of your business!” Twilight snarled. “What I do with my time is my choice and mine alo-”
“Oh, get over yourself!” Sweetie screamed, leaving Twilight speechless. “We miss Dash, but we also miss you! Do you know what’s not fair? What you’re doing. I’m going to die too, and so are a lot of ponies who care about you, so why aren’t you spending time with us? When we’re gone, we’re going to miss you just as much as you miss us, but you’re too blind to see that!”
Sweetie finished her tirade, shaking with anger. The room remained silent for a few tense moments before Luna laid a hoof on Sweetie’s shoulder and spoke up.
“Do you see what you’re doing? You are tearing us apart,” the Night Princess whispered. “You are right that it isn’t fair, but you knew that coming into this. I remember it vividly; you were well aware of what becoming a Princess meant and knew in no uncertain terms that this was going to happen, but you bravely accepted.”
“Yeah, well, maybe that was a mistake.”
“Twilight, how could you say that?” Sweetie squeaked.
“Twilight, please, you’re scaring me,” Luna mumbled. “I’ve come too far to lose everything I’ve gained; everything you’ve given me.”
“Oh, please,” Twilight groaned. “I have self-control. I’m not stupid enough to start killing ponies and demanding eternal daylight.”
Luna didn’t react to Twilight’s words. There was neither anger, nor sadness in her expression. Only disbelief. Without a word, she turned and stumbled out of the room.
Sweetie watched her leave before wheeling back around on Twilight, seething. “That was... The. Single. Most. Vile thing I’ve ever heard come out of anypony’s mouth! Just what the hell is wrong with you? You’re the worst Princess Equestria could ask for!” She spat at Twilight and watched as the spittle fell short before galloping after Luna.
A vase sailed through the spot her head had just been occupying. Twilight let out an enraged scream before levitating a second vase and hurling it through the door for good measure, taking a grim satisfaction in the sound of it shattering against the outside wall.
She turned around, blew her balcony doors off their hinges, and hurled herself over the railing. She took a steep dive, carving a burning streak through the Royal Garden’s treeline before leveling out and skidding to a landing along one of the garden paths. A sharp crack caused her to jump and she snarled up at the trees, now aflame from the heat of her descent. She blasted the burning branches, extinguishing the offending fires and leaving only a smoking ruin in their place.
She stomped down the path, foliage and flora both shrinking away from the wild, crackling magic she was emitting. She had no destination in particular, but lacked the ability to stop her legs from moving.
“P-princess, are you ok-”
“SHUT UP!” she raged at the innocent gardener, sending him fleeing. She glared after him, catching a glimpse of somepony else at the edge of her vision. She turned to direct her fury at the new intruder, only to find herself face-to-face with a statue.
It was the statue of Princess Celestia. It seemed to tower over her, a bleach white god of ready to exact punishment on its unworthy disciple. A sharp pain wracked Twilight’s chest as she gazed at it; into its magenta eyes.
“Don’t you look at me that way,” she growled with an angry sob. “Don’t you dare judge me! Y-you have no right! You... This is all your fault! YOU DID THIS TO ME!”
She threw a deadly spell at her mentor’s likeness, leaving dust where the regal head had sat only moments before.
Then, she fell to her knees, sobbing.
Leadership is a heavy burden that can even erode the even strongest, if they don't have the right support.
Remember back all those years when you had ponies thrown out of your castle for saying vile stuff?
You know, having the guards carry them out and throw in jail when they struggled?
uhoh little woonna to the rescue
Oh, my. Without any connection to her past, she's getting her Valeyard on.
This chapter feels incomplete, like you just stopped writing in the middle of it. There's time and a place for a cliffhanger; this is not one of those times.
I guess they never made up. DAMN.
I have to wonder.
I mean, I know this is probably hard for Twilight, but didn't Luna go through something simar? Surely, she must have, even if she were born an alicorn; unless she sprung, fully formed and realized, from the æther, she had to have had her own troubles dealing with the death of her peers.
Alas, we knew this was coming. Twilight's never reacted well to problems that won't respond to friendship or magic, and her friends dying will naturally respond to neither.
I really hope the happy comes back ;w;
I wonder how Twilight will overcome this, i mean... How is she gonna feel with herself after hurting Luna that low?.
please update more
This isn't just some spat, or burdens of her position. She lost one of the Elements. They were probably more deeply and intricately connected to her than her own family. A big chunk of her personal world just... fell away, and she doesn't know how to deal with it. That pain and confusion must come from a loss greater than any of us could possibly know, with the connection that their group shares.
6702602 she didn't just lose one element, she lost ALL the elements, her closest friends. pinkie, applejack, fluttershy, rarity, dash... they're all gone. and now she's been rejected by her own element.
and on top of that, the pain of bottling up one's emotions and putting on the mask of leadership (the crown is heavier than it looks)... i just couldn't imagine the amount of emotional agony she must be in.
Some burdens must be carried alone. Others cannot be carried without help. But help has to be accepted, it cannot be forced.
Deus tecum.
Sometimes you just have to really hit the hardest rocky bottom of the chasm before you can start clawing your way back out...
Hopefully Twilight has finally hit that bottom and the healing can begin.
It's always an option to just keep hating. If she decides not to choose it is dependent on how she sees the world each moment she makes that decision again and again.
I've never been able to buy into stories (or chapters) that hinge on Twilight forgetting everything she's learned over a lifetime of Friendship. She can get over her parents, non-mane6 friends, even Celestia dying, but apparently not these 5. But this is an AU story, so I'll give it a tentative pass.
Uhuh. You have self-control, do you Twilight?
Mm.
Perhaps try demonstrating it then? At some point? Like, in the very slightest?
I can see a long stay in Tarterus is likely to be where you end up at this rate; perhaps forever tormented by the disappointment of all your former friends that you drove yourself as insane as Sombra or Tirek because life doesn't work like you wanted it to...
*shakes head*
I really REALLY hope that what I suspect may happen doesn't happen. Twilight is scaring me so much right now, and I wouldn't be surprised if she ended up going down the road of a certain Princess of the Night a few decades ago...
The drama in this story is starting to feel pretty cheap. Why is it that a character in Twilight's position is always subjected to the "suck it up and stop feeling!" argument? Why is it that stories never have characters who understand how selfish and insensitive that is? Of course Twilight is going to get more and more bitter as her so-called friends continue refusing to acknowledge the validity of her feelings. That always happens in stories like this.
It is unfortunate that this story is using such a predictable plot device. Something more original would have been much more compelling.
She was not prepared for this. And unfortunately her last remaining close friends haven't helped her deal with it very well. In a way this is an unfortunate but natural progression from how Rainbow treated her in the previous chapter, and it seems it needs to be played out to its conclusion, whatever that may be.
Let's just hope Twilight finds a way to deal with the crushing sorrow before its too late.
Twilight has had 65 freaking Years to get ready for this so at this point she is just being a willfully ignorant twit.
If Twilight was male I would just advise someone to give her a good solid ass whipping to pull her head out of her butt.
I do not know what else to do with someone who has let their life be consumed by self pity ... because as is she aint worth shooting ...
6704832
Unfortunately, it's all but uncommon in real life either… Most people just *are* bad at empathy and coping with their own feelings and forgiving other people they perceive are hurting them. I think it's actually pretty realistic.
6707836 I didn't say it was unrealistic, I said it was overdone. This kind of story seems to *always* do this. There are other ways this could have gone which would have been just as realistic but much more original.
EDIT: It would appear that some over-sensitive thumbs-down trolls can't handle someone pointing this out. Grow up and get over it, whoever you are.
Nightmare Twilight?
I foresee her going off to try and eliminate death altogether, fooling herself into thinking that it's for the good of all Equestria.
INsane twilight is best twilight!
Urg... this is predictable as hell. Its completely and utterly overdone to death. Sixty Five Years... Twilight's has had decades to prepare for this! Decades! She's lost her parents and her brother, she's been losing her friends, and she has never learned how to cope, how accept it and move on? Seriously? She's not alone, she has Cadence, she has Luna, and she obviously have Sweetie Belle as well. This is just, ridiculous!
Heavy is the head that wears the crown, and hard is the heart that supports it.
I've finally caught up with this story and I share the same feelings that Luna, Sweetie Belle, and some others here in the comments are having. I'm worried for her. Letting these type of emotions just being bottled up is not good for one's health. Mental, emotional, and mentally speaking, and it's extremely unhealthy.
However, just as 6702925 said, you sometimes have to hit rock bottom in order to learn. In this case, heal. I hope that she has finally hit the proverbial rock bottom. If she hasn't by now, then I fear that she will turn into a new Nightmare Alicorn. Much like Luna did over 1000 years ago. Not to mention that verbal blow she sent at Luna was down right horrible. If not for herself, then she needs to get out of this funk for her marefriend and remaining friends left alive.
Here's to Twilight being able to accept the passing of those close to her heart and begin the healing process. I'm curious as to what the next chapter shall bring.
~ Super-Brony12
I hope this gets worse before it gets better.
Throwing a tantrum isn't hitting rock bottom.
Breaking some things isn't hitting rock bottom.
Abusing sovereign authority isn't even hitting rock bottom.
A Twilight Sparkle who recovers after this will be weaker than a Twilight Sparkle who recovers from much worse.
Just expressing some consideration on the direction being taken.
And then she cried for eternity
/titledrop
So is this like our universe, or do souls exist in their universe? If so, how does the soul solve the problem of the brain holding your memories, because upon death everything that is you slowly self-destructs? Does it inprint a backup of the brain, acting as an infinite storage device? Is the soul a consciousness without memories, and uses the brain as a way to experience the world, going back to nothingness until being born again? Is it something else?
Just curious how you decide to solve this, since most stories where souls exist, for some reason, don't. I know I overthink things, but I do find myself curious if Sweetie Belle really will miss her after death, or if she will just 'stop' upon death. Magic existing makes it likely that the soul exists in their universe, so it does make me curious. Ah the joys of fiction and what you can imagine.
6704740 Oh that won't happen. Remember; she is totally too smart for that.
6759514 Intellect has nothing to do with it. She's technically too smart to push everypony away from her like she's been, because of all of the friendship lessons she learned, yet here she is right now.
Honestly, if her grief is too strong, she MIGHT end up falling into darkness and despair.
6759965 I was just making fun of what she said in the story when she said she is too smart to do what Luna did... Which was a fucking asshole thing to say in front of Luna.
6760097 Ah, okay.
Then yeah, Equestria is fucked.
I love this story and how you're writing Twilight. She obviously knows how she is acting is wrong, but when someone is hurting this much and the misery keeps piling up, the emotions can be overwhelming enough to force you to deny logic.
I feel like Twilight's core pain is Celestia dying. She loved Celestia more then anything and she's never been able to get over her death because she is constantly reminded of it, and knows she will have to endure the pain for eternity, and it's slowly driving her mad.
6768836 She's of my favorites among the characters I made for this, so go right ahead.
6718371 Say your parents have cancer. The doctor says they have three years to live. Three years later, after a crazy Rollercoaster of emotions making up the best and worst parts of your life, they die. You knew it was coming. You knew and you'd already cried your heart out in their arms. Do you cry at their funeral?
Now say it isn't just your parents. Now it's everyone you care about and everyone you ever will care about. Do you cry at their funerals? I would. I don't think I'd be able to go on.
Now imagine how Twilight feels. Everything she is, the very core of her soul, is built around caring for others. And now she has to watch them all wither and die. One by one, for eternity. Celestia inadvertently locked Twilight in her own personal hell. It's a fate worse than death, and she's having her soul ripped to pieces over and over again by the very people she loves most. How else is she supposed to react? I would scream too.
6773147
The main issue I have is that its predictable and done to death...
That being said, Twilight is smart. SMART. She is brains before heart! Yes, she has accepted friendship, but she always uses reason and logic first before going for emotional responses. THis... is overplaying her emotional aspect, while relating her intelligence...
6773335 Lesson Zero and It's About Time are definitely great examples of her approaching problems rationally and with care, and she's never once lost her cool.
6787294
Yes. Its almost like Twilight has met problems like this before. OVER FIFTY FUCKING YEARS AGO. More than enough time for someone to fucking learn how to deal with stuff rationally.
6787868 You'd think, wouldn't you? Not a lot of real-world examples of that, though, unfortunately.
6788096
So? Real world has NOTHING to do with this story!
6785613
This is a slice-of-life story, and plots can't afford to jumble events up into whatever order, ignoring the setting and narrative.
Wow. Twilight's going through some stuff, yeah. But doing that to Luna?
Twilight, you have fucked up now. I can't imagine how long it will take to make it up to Luna. I doubt a simple apology will do, and I suspect Luna would try to leave Equestria, if not Canterlot for a while if she is able to. Although I can easily see her lipping into a similar form of depression Twilight is in, just without that spicy kick of anger.
6907636
In fairness, Luna (and Celestia) kind of guilted her into this mess all the way back at the beginning. It was either Twilight fulfill the dying wishes of her beloved mentor - wishes she didn't get informed of until after said mentor had passed away - or else Luna dies, Equestria suffers, and a unique magic is lost forever. She doesn't even get a moment to think it over and this gets sprung on her at the maximum possible moment of grief and guilt. And, just to ensure that there's no possibility of refusal, it's made clear that there's no Plan B. Here, catch this priceless object I'm flinging at you or it'll be all your fault that it's broken.
The Sisters had two years to prepare Twilight for her ascension. They didn't consider it worth bothering with even at the last minute. Apparently procrastinating until it's well past too late runs in the royal family.