With many thanks to Ugugg93 for proof-reading this chapter, I present to you chapter 3 of Magnetism!
Chapter 3: Two Passengers, One Pilot!
It was with the crack of dawn that the ground preferring pegasus began to stir, her mind wrestling with the tides of sleep that tried to pull her back under. In her lightly conscious state, she felt blissful, her brain more open to her sense of touch than usual and with it, the warm comforting feeling that was wrapped around her. It was not just the warmth, a feeling akin to nestling up to a gently blazing campfire, that she found pleasure in, but also the odd feeling of safety. Something firm but soft, strong but gentle, held against her body, a familiar and enticing feeling that allowed her to open her eyes without fear for what may be before her. She opened them to the sleeping face of her friend… the very close friend whom was hugging her, whose soft breaths brushed against her open eyes and into her slightly gaping mouth.
A hot blush as warm as her general body within Rainbow’s embrace consumed her face, burning brighter with every tingling, cooling breath that tickled against her face. Fluttershy knew not what to think about the present situation, so instead did her best to not think about their present proximity, their position, and how much her wings wanted to flap out in excitement. After having the image of Rainbow’s blissful sleeping face before her, a tender image from a tough pony that the mare couldn’t help but think was cute, she tried to escape. She tried to wiggle her way out and slip away from Rainbow Dash, allowing her friend to resume her sleep in peace, but the moment Fluttershy began to slide her body free, the sleeping pony merely embraced tighter. Fluttershy felt the grip grow stronger, and she was tugged closer against the cyan body. Cyan and yellow legs pressed against each other smoothly, while the chromatic mare's two forelegs had looped around the bed-haired coat of the other, bringing the space between their bellies to a close. This, in turn, left their muzzles just barely apart, each motion of breathing causing the bottom of the athlete's muzzle to bump against the top of the animal caretaker's. Fluttershy quivered, her wings only prevented from taking off by the forelegs that trapped them. This made them want to unfurl even more.
The stimulated shudders of the yellow mare were suddenly accompanied by the shivers of the other as an expression of unease and disturbance fell across Rainbow’s face. With the ever lessening smile and an ever growing frown on her face, the sleeping pony began to mumble, sleep talk, though her first words were completely incoherent. Fluttershy worried about her friend who had been so peaceful and whose touch had become just a little colder upon the coming of whatever nightmare now beset the racer’s dreams.
“N-no…mum, no.” The nightmare facing pegasus mumbled coherently, Fluttershy’s confused concern becoming more confused and more concerned.
“R-Rainbow never spoke much about her parents, and they were rarely at the house when I came over. I wonder... did something happen between them? Something horrible? Maybe that’s why she…” the worried pony pondered on her friend as mumbles continued to come out of her.
“M-mum, no, don’t…I…I…” Rainbow Dash stammered over and over again, and as anticipation for what she was about to say increased, Fluttershy wondered if it was okay to hear the, most likely, private, and possibly scarring, event from an asleep Dash’s lips. “...I don’t want to dress in style.”
“Wha?” Was about all Fluttershy could usher out of her lips at the anti-climactic revelation.
“Huh..? Is it morning already?” The cyan pegasus in bed garbled these words in her semi-conscious state, letting loose a large, long yawn afterwards.
Startled, and realising the possible implications of their comfortable and close position, Fluttershy did as she often tried to do: distance herself. This involved a split reaction push, the momentum sending her off her end of the bed as well as accidentally knocking Rainbow Dash off the bed on the other side.
“F-Fluttershy! What the hay!?” Rainbow snapped as she pulled her groggy body up, more so from the sudden wakeup call than the fall.
“Eh! Oh, I…I, you see I…sorry, I’m sorry,” Fluttershy whispered back with her naturally shy tone, hiding her eyes from Dash’s agitated glare on the other side of the bed.
Seeing her friend frightened at her outburst, Rainbow’s glare softened, though her irritation was still apparent in her voice as she sighed, “Let me guess: you got spooked in your sleep and pushed us both off by accident.”
Fluttershy nodded; even though this was not true, but explaining her own wake-up call was not what she wanted to do.
“Heh, well Fluttershy, the next time you dream you should have no fear. Just dream up an awesome me, and pow! They'll be nothing to fear.” Rainbow boasted with a grand grin, a contagious show of happiness that Fluttershy could not help but smile along with.
Then the five second limit was reached, and the bracelets activated.
Now, you might be wondering where Angel Bunny has been during all this. He hasn’t gone anywhere, and in fact is still cosily sleeping on the pillow. Even with the two ponies tossing and turning in their mutual slumber, the snow-white rabbit managed to enjoy a wonderful period of sleep. Unfortunately today happened to be a day of bad wake-up calls, and he soon found himself inconveniently awoken when two ponies decided to crash land onto the bed and shoot him up into the ceiling.
“Fluttershy, I don’t need my mane brushed,” the rainbow mane pony complained as the brush flowed smoothly across the six coloured strands of hair.
She had to first remove the wooden brush from her mouth, but the brusher responded anyway, “B-but you have such a nice mane, if you don’t care for it, it will get damaged.” Fluttershy once more gripped the unpainted brush with her teeth, and moved it along her Dash’s mane, humming something along the lines of ‘brushie, brushie’.
“Yeah, well, I’ve never put much care into it and my mane has remained fine, so I guess mine just doesn’t get damaged or tangled or whatever you’re worried about happening to it.”
Once again, Fluttershy had to first remove the brush from her mouth before suggesting, “You should probably not tell Rarity that.”
Rainbow smirked at this, “You think she’d try to steal my mane or something?”
“That or start styling your mane.”
That last suggestion made Rainbow Dash shudder.
This attempt at grooming her friend was being enacted during the predawn morning, a time that both the weather patrol pony and the animal caretaker were used to waking up at, and one that both considered breakfast time. Speaking of breakfast, the two ponies had managed to assemble it without any hassle, although that could be because it was but a simple daisy sandwich, upon Rainbow’s request. This at first bothered Fluttershy, who is used to bountiful and well-made nutritious breakfasts, but the memory of Rainbow’s cooking yesterday crushed any and all desires for the two of them to sit down to a warmer meal. Still, the desire for a larger meal to prepare them for the activities of the day was still present.
“Are you really sure you don’t want a little more?” Fluttershy queried her friend, who was currently gulping down the flower filled bread happily. “And... um... you should probably eat slower.”
Rainbow had practically consumed the entirety of her breakfast by this point, and was going to reply straight away before she realised that seeing a full-mouthed pony speaking up close would be somewhat off-putting to the task of consuming their own meal. Allowing herself a few seconds to make sure to swallow down the barely chewed chunk in her mouth, she replied, “No need to worry, Fluttershy, this is plenty enough for breakfast. After all, as a weather patrol pony, I have to be up an flying as early as…as can…oh snap.”
“What’s wrong?”
“What’s wrong!?” Rainbow repeated as she grabbed the questioner by her shoulders and lightly began to shake her, “What’s wrong is that I’ve still got to do my weather duties! I didn’t book any time off for it and now we’re stuck together like this!”
“T-that’s o-okay, R-rainbow D-D-Dash,” Fluttershy shakily replied. “I-I can help.”
“Help!? How can you-” the shaking stopped as the flustered pegasus held the dazed mare in her hooves, and looked at her with realisation on her face. “Oh yeah, you’re also a pegasus. We can just do it together and... you don’t mind doing my job with me?” Fluttershy shook her head in reply, which caused Rainbow to beam back a large smile, “Alright then, let’s get a move on; we’ll get this done in a jiffy.”
Fluttershy nodded as Dash let go of her, and together, the two began making their way out the door. The early morning sun greeted them in full force, though only halfway over the horizon, it shone as bright as it always did. Though glorious to behold at first, it only made the two ponies wince, the fine day being obscured to the both of them. The air was calm, some birds were waking to begin their morning songs, and others were just coming to the ends of theirs. After repeated blinking the cloudless sky came into view, the azure sky that should currently be marred ever so slightly by a light shower.
“It feels like I’ve been on the ground forever. Let's fly, Fluttershy!” Rainbow shouted out with bravado as she opened her wings out… and smacked Fluttershy across the face.
Fluttershy staggered backwards, a hoof held up her winded cheek, as Rainbow cursed to herself, “Oh horse-apples. Fluttershy, I’m really sorry about that. You okay?”
“Y-yeah.” The yellow pony caressed her cheek with delicate care, a slight whip like bruise likely to soon form, “Your... um... wings are a bit too long... not that that’s a bad thing or anything like that, it is just…”
Rolling her eyes Rainbow decided to speak up before her apologetic friend continued to mumble forever, “Yeah, my bad, we’ll have to be careful about that when flying, don’t want to be whacking our wings against each other. I don’t want to imagine how that would affect our flying.”
The imagined scenario of a slight bump on the tip of the wing mid-flight causing Fluttershy to spin out of control flashed into the fearful pegasus’ mind but she kindly asked it to go away and focused on happier thoughts, “We could hold our hooves out and distance ourselves with our hooves.”
Rainbow tapped her chin thrice before agreeing to his with a murmured response, “Yeah that should work.”
Stepping just off the doorstep, the two pegasus lined up side-by-side, and placed the bottom of their garmented hooves flat against one another. The duo then stepped as far away from one another as they could, while continuing to keep their hooves connected. It was a little shaky, but they were able to raise and retain one of their forelegs suspended in mid-air.
“Oh, and could you try and not unfold your wing quite so fast this time, you know, just in case.” Fluttershy quickly added as she slowly began to unfold both her wings.
“I know, I know. I’m not going to make the same mistake twice… at least I hope I don’t,” Rainbow restlessly replied, unfolding both her wings with a cautious pace.
Things were going smoothly at first, their hooves remaining together and their wings going on up, but midway a clear problem emerged for the winged duo. Fluttershy’s and Rainbow Dash’s wings made contact, slightly at first but as they tried to pull them up above their bodies, their flying appendages pushed against one another, interlocking their feathers, and pushing the contacting hooves apart. Now they were stuck together by not just the mystical force, but in the physical form of their wings.
“I think maybe our wings-” Fluttershy had begun to say until Rainbow fidgeted her wing, trying to wiggle her feathers through the slight gaps that separated each of Fluttershy’s, the embarrassingly exciting feeling arising from this quickly causing her to squeak and blush.
Rainbow felt a similar urge to squeak herself at the strange sensation that trying to worm her wings pass Fluttershy’s caused her; however, she suppressed the strange and effeminate urge, “Darn it, our wings are longer than our legs.”
Eventually the pegasus managed to untangle their sore wings, Rainbow quickly folding hers back to her body as Fluttershy took to her brushing her own feathers' out. The still blushing pony coughed to clear her throat as she did this, then sighed, “E-even if we did get our wings to pass between one another, whenever we’d flap them they would just hit the other's back.”
“Wait!” Rainbow Dash proclaimed as she opened up only the wing opposite to Fluttershy and displayed it proudly in the air, “I have another idea.”
The weak flier awaited Rainbow to tell said idea, only for Rainbow to start it with actions rather than any sort of explanation. She lightly grabbed hold of Fluttershy’s extended wing, and with knowledge of how the pegasus body works, and what to do and not do with your wings, gently pushed it back into a folded position.
Before Fluttershy could half-heartedly complain at this complete disregard of personal space, Rainbow gave her first command, “Now Fluttershy, open up just your other wing.”
Puzzled but obedient, Fluttershy unfurled the wing furthest from Dash to its full wing span. As she did this, she had a hoof curl around her body and pressed her up close to the side of the hugger.
“Wh-wha..?” The baffled pony blubbered as the now very close Rainbow grinned.
“It’s easy, Fluttershy; you’ll be my left wing and I’ll be your right wing, we don’t need to use our other wings so long as we’ve got each other,” Rainbow explained with another grin, this one even more positive and enthusiastic than before, and the sheer trust that came from the athlete's words made the happiness infectious, A small smile popping up on Fluttershy’s own face, Rainbow continued, “Now you ready?” With a nod for confirmation the two ponies took a deep breath and then leaped into the air, ready to gracefully soar into the sky.
It went horribly wrong.
Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash had flapped their wings at the same time and with the same pace, but not the same power in their legs at lift-off. They had both exerted the same amount of strength in their jump they would usually use for take-off, but that was of course the problem. Their natural lift-off strength was different from one another, with the high flying speedster, keen to reach the sky as quickly as possible, used to launching herself at the sky, while the unsure and cautious earth loving flier preferred a simple graceful hop, beginning her airborne journey but a few centimetres off the ground. The cyan side of the two hugging pegasus rose above the yellow side, which obviously tilted closer to the ground. Realising the odd angle and with the grey concrete path in front of her vision skewed, Fluttershy frantically flapped to match Rainbow’s strength. While she would have succeeded at this correction, the problem was that Fluttershy’s frantic flying interfered with Rainbow’s well-rehearsed and practised flight pattern, and thus came with the very result the pegasus were trying to avoid.
The two of them careened out of the short flight and bumped against the ground, beginning a rolling tumble. As they tumbled down the small cliff edge before the cosy cottage and animal shelter, Rainbow managed to painstakingly complain each time her body fell against the ground, “That. Should. Have. Worked!”
The tumbling ponies only came to a stop after they fell off the small cliff area and into the rather shallow, but still inhabited, stream just before the cottage. Rolling into the river got all sides of their bodies wet, and if any spot had not come into contact with liquid then the light splash from their fall would have made up for it.
The two ponies remained sprawled beside one another in the river, their heads above the water. In fact, with how shallow the stream was, their backs and wings were pretty much the only parts of their bodies submerged in water. The two were not sure why but they chose for that moment to remain still, to simply lie in the water breathing breaths mustered out of the slights of excitement, adrenaline, and especially pain. Fluttershy looked up into the sky, but was not truly aware it was there, her mind distant as she thought about nothing in particular, but she daydreamed all the same. Rainbow, on the otherhoof, saw the taunting sky, the mocking sky, the sky she longed to reach and for once, the sky in which she wished to do her job in. As Rainbow longed for the freedom of that which remained above, another idea popped into her head, the strange analogy of her being the heroine on a quest and the sky being the road she would travel on, one that would ultimately end when she would rescue the prince or princess. Silently, she thanked her uncharacteristically strong desire of doing her job as the inspiration to it all.
“New idea!” Rainbow yelled out with frustration, springing to all fours and causing yet another small splash.
Fluttershy’s wordless thought bubble burst from the sudden spray of water, and had only managed to sit up before Rainbow enacted her plan and scooped up Fluttershy with her forelegs. If Fluttershy could not think before, now her brain had completely shut off as it tried hard not to register the soft hooves that carried her body, her dripping body pulled tight to the chest of the similarly soaked body of Rainbow Dash, and of the serious look that a certain multicolour mane pony gave, a look she could see up close.
“I can fly while carrying you, so while I do the flying, you can reach out and move the clouds.” Rainbow explained with a deep tone and various exhales of hot breath, warming up Fluttershy’s still intensifying blush, “You okay with that?”
Fluttershy barely managed a nod as the cyan pegasus pulled her up into the sky with a mighty stroke of her powerful blue wings, and proceeded to carry the kind maiden bridal style.
The trees were begging to be bucked. At least, that was what Applejack was hearing as she looked on to the orchard, and the many ripe apples that hung from their branches. They stood there, barking out to her, wishing for their apples to leave their grips through the typical method of a swift kick. But the trees were not being bucked and the apples were not being harvested at the early morning time that they expected to be. Instead, their bucker and harvester just sat down by the house, watching expectantly to them, the ground, and the all-important sky.
“Consarn it, where is Rainbow Dash with 'em clouds? I thought we were supposed to be havin' a light shower this mornin’,” Applejack grumbled to nopony but herself, unless she was talking to the apple trees, which was quite likely considering her attachment to them.
The reason the farmer simply sat to watch the trees, instead of collecting the apples as per her usual routine, was that she was expecting a light shower this very morning. Marked down on the weather report was a light shower early in the morning due to 'an excess production and distribution of clouds resulting in a need for them to be utilised.' Applejack had no desire to be working in the rain, especially when it would only be a short spot of weather that would only last a few minutes, and so she decided to wait until the shower was over before beginning her apple bucking. The shower was not over; in fact, it had not even begun. The reason the trees simply sat waiting to be bucked was because they were trees and of course could do nothing other than wait.
“Ah want to get on with mah day,” Applejack thought as she let out a soft sigh, laying her eyes on the ground, and began counting the blades of grass. “Ah'm sure there mus' be some more house chores to do. Ah'm sure Granny Smith an' Apple Bloom won' mind a hoof.”
Of course it was just as the cowpony had lifted her body off the floor and set her aims onto other objectives that small murky clouds began to appear above the trees. Applejack looked to these harbingers of rain with a grin, and rather than being miffed at the immense delay, she was simply pleased to see them here. While her eyes were dead-set on the stacking up row of clouds, she noticed the lack of a certain weather patrol pegasus, or any pegasus for that matter.
“Mus' be behin’ 'em clouds; can' see her from this angle...” As Applejack mused to herself out loud, her ears began to pick up voices from above, “Voices?”
The earth pony began a softly stepping trot round the clouds and the trees, vying for a better look at those who were tending to the clouds. Before she was able to see the source of the voice though, she began to make out various words.
“Are-are you sure I’m doing this right? I don’t want to get you in any trouble if they're wrong.”
This worried the earth pony, “Wha' if Rainbow Dash is sick, an' they’ve got some untrained pegasus on the job?”
“It’s fine, it’s fine. These clouds aren’t packed with a huge amount of water anyway. Besides, a light drizzle can’t do much harm, even when done wrong, which you’re not.”
“Oh, okay… are you sure? I’ve never done this before and I...“
This further worried Applejack as she trotted further into view of the two pegasi, though she could swear their voices were familiar, muffled ever so slightly by the distance and slight wind in the air.
“Look, I’m holding you up at the moment, so I can’t move and craft these with my own two hooves right now, so that’s why you're doing it. Don’t worry so much. The clouds aren’t going to explode or anything from having a non-weather patrol pegasus touch them.”
This just served to puzzle Applejack further, but she knew such puzzlement would vanish as she now could make out the two airborne ponies managing the current spot of weather. A familiar pair of cyan wings and a head of rainbow hair put her at ease, albeit she was a little embarrassed that she didn't recognise her friend’s voice earlier. What caused her to retain a little of her earlier confusion was the fact that an equally familiar yellow body and a head of pink hair were also in view, as along with Rainbow Dash flying up by the clouds was Fluttershy. This alone would have only been interesting, the possibility of Rainbow taking along her only flying friend to hang out and enjoy the calmest activity the sports-loving speedster partook in was interesting enough, but what caused puzzlement was the way the two pony friends were present. For rather than flying alongside one another, as the two pegasus normally would, Fluttershy was being carried in the flying Rainbow Dash’s forelegs like a newlywed couple. As Rainbow Dash held their position in the air, a nervous Fluttershy would reach out slowly and manipulate the clouds; Rainbow chatting away about tips and advice relating to their undergoing task the entire time.
Giving a quick critical inspection, Rainbow nodded and declared, “That looks good enough. Now, we buck.”
“The clouds!” Fluttershy almost uncharacteristically shouted.
“Yeah, not like we are going to be bucking the trees. That’s Applejack's job,” Rainbow remarked, a look of amusement on her face. “Now let's hit those clouds and let the rain start.”
So Fluttershy did, raising one of her hooves above her head, poised to strike, and then launching it will full force. It gently plopped against the mass of rain clouds, causing a light trickle of rain.
“Wow, Rainbow Dash, you were right. There wasn’t much rain in these clouds,” Fluttershy noted with a widening smile, a feeling of accomplishment whelming her.
“That’s because you didn’t hit it hard enough,” A deadpanned voice emitted from the weather patrol pony. “Here, let me do this.”
With that, Rainbow Dash chucked Fluttershy into the air, spun around, and bucked at the cloud with her two hind legs, the soft shower of rain starting off at a steady pace immediately. Spinning round again, she did so in time to catch a shocked canary yellow pegasus, who had yet to be given chance to scream in flight.
“Ya’ know, you can fly, Fluttershy.” Dash said with a smirk as she looked down at the startled pegasus, the yellow mare gripping her with a tight grip.
“Th-That was too sudden for me to... to... don't do that again... please?” Fluttershy stuttered out as she loosened her grip from Rainbow’s firm neck and shifted her body a little away from right up against the cyan bodied equine.
“Sure, sure. Well, that’s the last of the clouds. Let’s head back now.” In response, Fluttershy nodded to this, and Rainbow flew off once more while carrying her friend in her forelegs.
Applejack watched her friends go without calling out to them once. She remained standing on the spot as she paid no attention to the light shower of rain above her apple trees that she had been longing for all morning. Instead, her entire focus was to the unspecified distance that her friends had flown off towards, the two colourful specks slowly disappearing into the blue expanse. Thoughts bounced about her head, about what she had seen, what she had heard, but most importantly, the one small detail she had noted: they were wearing matching bracelets.
A small chortle burst out from the farmers lungs, a laugh directed to herself as silly thoughts entered her head. “Sure, they're wearin' them bracelets, an' sure Rainbow was carryin' Fluttershy like a stallion would his marefriend, an' maybe they seemed a bit flirty, but there’s no way, no way that they are… are...”
Applejack allowed these thoughts to continue to occupy her mind, an uncertain and troubled smile adorning her face. The slightest sounds of rain continued, the sun continued to ascend above the trees, and she continued to look out to the distance.
The rain fell softly and the clouds were in such short supply that the sky retained its morning brightness. Still the two pegasus were grateful for the umbrella held above their heads by a rabbit, who was comfortable seated on Fluttershy’s back. Rainbow Dash felt this was the only good thing that Angel had so far done for her, even though she knew that if the rabbit had his way he would have kicked her out from underneath the umbrella long ago.
“Are you really sure we should be seeing her so early? She seemed pretty tired yesterday,” Fluttershy spoke as she walked alongside Rainbow Dash. “Maybe we should wait a day or two first or at least until this afternoon?”
“Nah. Twilight’s done marathons of studying before, so I’m sure she’s already up and at 'em,” Rainbow confidently remarked. “'Sides, I want these bracelets off as soon as possible.”
Fluttershy took this remark in a different manner than that which the rainbow mane pegasus conveyed, and immediately took on a look and tone of depression, “O-oh, I’m sorry for being such a bother.”
Rainbow soon noticed this sudden downcast turn, and for once actually realised why it occurred without any misunderstanding, “I didn't mean it like that. You're great to hang out with. I mean, sure, you're really slow, and maybe too cautious or so afraid that you might hurt somepony that you won’t even do anything like pranks, and maybe you're…”
Realizing she was actually making things worse with the way Fluttershy's head lowered further with each example, Rainbow quickly diverted to the point she trying to explain in the first place, “What I'm trying to say is wanting these bracelets off has nothing to do with you, it’s just because they're inconvenient. I could be attached with anypony, and I'd still be unable to perform proper flight stunts, or worse,” Rainbow nudged Fluttershy with her side, “I'd be forced into helping cook, and I think we can both agree nopony wants that.”
Fluttershy outwardly seemed to brighten up at this, though her smile was clearly forced. Rainbow looked to and fro, noticing that as a result of the morning shower there were only a few ponies out and about, furthermore none were looking in their general direction. Thus she decided it was safe to show some affection, and embraced Fluttershy in a hug. The sweet gesture changed the fake smile on Fluttershy’s face to a genuine one that spread across her muzzle more naturally, and even though the sign of affection was a hesitated act on Dash’s part, she came to enjoy act.
At least until Rainbow was kicked in the head.
Dash backed off slightly, her hoof still around Fluttershy’s shoulders as her attention was directed over to the rabbit atop the animal caretakers head. Said rabbit scowled back at the pegasus, and pointed to the cyan hoof that laid upon his owners body with various motions that said ‘paws off’. Of course, Rainbow did not understand the charades of Angel, even if she did she did not have paws anyway, and so kept her hoof there even as her attention went back to Fluttershy.
“Did we really have to bring your rabbit along?” The disgruntled pony asked, covertly giving the small pet an evil glare, an action he more than willingly returned.
“Oh my yes; Angel seemed really enthusiastic to join me today,” Fluttershy said with cheer evident in her voice and step, a slight spring in it that allowed her to outpace Dash for but a second.
For a moment, Angel Bunny’s scowl faded and a look of sincerity popped onto his face, which he soon noticed and was quick to get rid of. By now the two close buddies, closer physically than what the rabbit wished for them to be, had reached Golden Oaks Library. With Fluttershy literally by her side, Dash did not have the time nor space to barge into the room. Furthermore, it was Fluttershy who opened the door, so so instead of the normal slamming action Rainbow treated it with, the door instead slowly creaked open. Sofly, Fluttershy muttered, “Excuse me? Is anypony there? I'm sorry to bother you.”
Silence and emptiness greeted them in the main room, but nimble steps and noisy chomps came from the nearby kitchen, indicating that the part residence part business had somepony awake and alert. Well, not exactly somepony, the nimble steps were ones so delicate and precise that a being with hooves would struggle greatly with such a task, while the noisy chomps indicated a hungry and ill-mannered approach to eating, let alone it sounded like the ‘pony’ was gnashing bricks with their teeth. So with all that said, as Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and Angel Bunny entered the main room of the library from outside, Spike also entered the room from the kitchen, the dragon carrying a small bowl of gems in one of his claws.
“Hey girls,” Spike muttered good naturedly despite his full mouthed, though upon seeing Angel atop Fluttershy’s back his tone became more forced, “Angel,” but then returned to his before, jollier tone. “You here to see Twilight already?”
Rainbow nodded, “Yeah, she awake yet?”
“And if she isn’t we can leave and come back later; it would be rude of us to wake her up.” Fluttershy added, trying to cushion Rainbow's rather blunt question.
Spike scratched his scaled chin with his spare claw, and replied, “No, not since I last checked, however I doubt she’ll be of any use to you girls at the moment; when she woke up after collapsing in the street yesterday, she tried to instantly work out a way to remove those bracelets. She looked like she was about to collapse again, so I convinced her to get back to bed.”
“Oh, that’s very good of you, Spike.” Fluttershy praised the little dragon, who seemed pretty chuffed with it all.
Rainbow, meanwhile, merely sighed, a hoof rubbing at the area around her bracelet, “Yeah. I guess that's probably for the best; she should be fine by tomorrow though, right?”
“Yeah, probably…” The dragon mumbled quickly before pouring the rest of the gems into his mouth, gobbling them up with speed and ease.
The two pegasus were not under any further deadlines for the day, with the sole exception of a lunch appointment with Rarity on Fluttershy’s part, but there was ample time between now and then, so the two decided to stay and chat with Spike. It was just small talk though, and for the most part the purple librarian assistant asked questions about the current predicament, and in turn a lot of recounting ensued, with some of the more embarrassing details left out. Said conversation lasted for roughly fifteen minutes before it started to die down, and at twenty minutes past the beginning of their talk, the conversation was drawn to a close.
It was of course then that, as Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash were about to leave, their goodbyes to Spike ready on their lips, a voice called from above, “Fluttershy! Rainbow Dash! You're here already!”
Every pony, dragon and rabbit looked up, with obvious exception to the unicorn who was on the floor above. The bed mane Twilight Sparkle looked down to her friends with bleary eyes and greeted then with a forced nervous grin, a slight twitch noticeable in her eye even from this distance.
Rainbow took a small step back, “W-well yeah, but you were sleeping and so-”
“No I wasn’t!” Twilight’s frazzled voice prevented the chromatic mare from saying more, the scholar making her way down the wooden steps.
Her hooves moved in an almost erratic fashion, their steps only just ensuring their place on the stairway, and many a time it looked like she would skip more than a couple of steps or clumsily trip over her own legs and fall down the entire flight. Somehow, though, she able to make it to the bottom, her body shaking and twitching the entire time for unknown reasons as she delivered an even broader grin to her friends. Even Angel was a little unnerved by this, the bunny trying not to make eye contact with the pony.
“A-are you okay Twilight? You look…really tired,” Fluttershy took a step back to join her cyan friend.
“Yeah Twi, just head on back to bed and-” Spike began to say, only to find a magically created zipper literally zipping up his mouth, and Twilight, her terrifying twitch in her eye even more pronounced, turned to the two pegasi in the room.
“Bed? Ha! I was not sleeping. Oh no, no, no! I would never do that instead of helping my good friends. I’m not a bad friend; I wouldn’t sleep while you two are stuck like this.”
Even more disconcerting was that Twilight’s purple mane was randomly springing locks with each word she said, the eye twitches and head sways consistent throughout her fast paced speech. As Spike struggled with the restraint on his mouth, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash exchanged brief ‘she’s crazy’ looks.
“You know, it’s okay if you want to take a nap, I take them all the time,” Dash attempted to helpfully suggest, yet from the look on the student’s face this proposition seemed less like help, and more akin to heresy.
“Whaaaaat!? Noooooo! I can’t! You neeeeeeed me…” Twilight droned, her words extending longer than what could be considered grammatically correct if they were to be transcribed onto paper.
Unsure what to say next, the two ponies stood silently as Twilight started to attempt to straighten herself out, trying ordering her completely chaotic form with at least a small level of organisation.
It was mostly a failure.
“S-so… what have you managed to find out about the bracelets so far?” Fluttershy uncertainly asked. As far as the shy pony could tell, Twilight had actually slept a little bit, but the fact that she had slept rather than research was making the spell caster feel guilty, and so in turn was trying to cover this up. Forming a plan in her head, Fluttershy believed that if she got Twilight to admit the truth, she could then convince Twilight it was okay to put her own health before their, hopefully, non-life-threatening situation.
“Why I have… have…” Twilight gritted her teeth as her mind searched back to yesterday, attempting to dig up anything she already knew but had yet to tell the others, “...I haven't got anything new… but I’ve made progress! I swear I have!”
“And we believe you, so… uh... go take a nap or something! Yeah! You’ve made progress haven’t you? Think of it as a reward!” Rainbow replied with a forced grin, Twilight’s distraught state worrying the cyan pegasus more and more with each passing second.
“Yeah, you know I could... but no! I need to help you guys as quick as possible. Being stuck together must be really inconWait!” A bolt lightning struck Twilight’s head, and she dashed off to the kitchen without a single word of explanation.
The sound of several drawers, fridge and cabinet doors, and biscuit tins being opened all at once via magic could be heard coming from the kitchen, followed by the noise of reckless rummaging. It stopped shortly, unicorn magic making finding and holding items a much easier task than for any other pony, and with a sudden “Ahha!”, Twilight soon rushed back into the room…
Brandishing a large Chopping Knife.
“I’ve come up with the best idea ever! All I have to do is chop off the legs that have the bracelets attached to them, and your bodies, in theory, should no longer be magnetic! It will only be your dismembered legs. Then, I’ll look for a spell book to restore your legs instead! Yay for us!”
Twilight’s happiness was not exactly shared among her current peers: surprisingly their previously joked about scenario was actually quite terrifying when happening in reality. Rainbow tried to hide said fear with a cheery ‘you are joking right’ expression, Fluttershy was unable to do anything as her pupils dilated to fill each her eyeballs, while Angel looked ready to lunge out at the maniacal pony and engage her in close quarter combat to the death. On Spike’s end, he had finally managed to unzip his mouth.
Twilight approached with terrifyingly misplaced good intentions while the pegasi backed off for good reason, their brains working in overdrive to think of something to say. Finally, it was Rainbow who spat out an excuse, “Twi! Don’t you think you should, I don’t know, read up on the spell to grow back out legs before you… ya’ know, chop them off!?”
Rainbow’s suggestion made the crazed Twilight pause, her eyes briefly turning skyward, her neck cracking with each motion it made. Slowly, the crazed unicorn pondered, “Yes, that would be the sensible thing to do... I’ll go do that right now! Now you two,” Twilight used her magic to point the blade at the two pegasi, “you two wait right there while I help you.”
Twilight skipped along to her vast array of library books, absentmindedly dropping the knife she had been wielding. With the dull thud of the object, Spike turned to his two unnerved friends and ushered them to leave, which they were more than happy to comply.
The greeting bells of the Carousel Boutique chimed delightfully, welcoming the three entrants warmly while alerting the owner of the establishment to their presence. The ponies trotted in, ironically at the exact moment the rain clouds used up the last of their water. As if to spite them the birds all seemed to begin singing a 12AM chorus, and the flowers appeared to smile along with them, as the sunlight embraced and warmed all those who were now outside.
“Hey Rarity, we’re here.” Rainbow called out before Fluttershy could do so in a more polite fashion.
Expecting the designer to be in the midst of her work, the ponies, and one pet, were surprised to see no sign of Rarity. Taking further steps into the expansive room allowed them to hear something, not something within the room itself but somewhere further in the building. From one of the doorways came a dull sound but rhythmically repeated, and under the assumption that Rarity was within the room ahead, called out once more, “Rarity, we’re here.”
The noise came to halt, replaced at first by silence and then by approaching hoofsteps. Then Rarity popped into the room…
Brandishing a large Chopping Knife.
“Gah!” The two pegasus screamed as they backed off from the unicorn, Rarity's appearance threatening to send the ponies into a minor case of post-traumatic stress, “Don’t chop off our legs!”
Rarity frowned with shock and concern, and queried, “Girls, whatever is the matter? Why would you even think I was going to, of all things, chop off your legs?”
Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy stopped backing away, the former breaking out of the quivering hold she had established onto her yellow counterpart upon noticing their shared embrace. Rainbow took an extra breath to calm her thumping heart before beginning, “Let’s just say that visiting Twilight in the morning was a very... interesting experience.”
Rarity continued to look questionably at the cyan and yellow equines, who only returned good humoured and somewhat flushed smiles, but soon realised she was not going to get anything more from the two… for now. Fluttershy, however, had a question that she decided to pursue, “Rarity, about that knife…?
“Oh, this! I was just preparing our lunch.” Rarity explained, tightening her telekinetic grip on the knife to stop it from swaying as ‘threateningly’ as it was before, “I do apologise but I was a little late in starting the preparations, so many ponies walked in asking if they could borrow umbrella’s and raincoats.”
“You know Rarity, we’d be happy to-”
“To wait! Yeah! Fluttershy and I will be happy to wait,” Rainbow Dash interrupted, knowing full well that Fluttershy had been ready to offer their assistance in the task.
“Very well, I’ll be done in a jiffy,” Rarity replied, unaware of the assistance that was nearly offered as she made her way to the kitchen.
Rainbow let out a sigh as she watched the pure white unicorn left the room, relief flooding through her. The mares, and one male rabbit, soon found themselves with nothing to do while waiting, and while Angel was content with just laying down on Fluttershy's back resting his paws, Fluttershy and Rainbow were stuck with merely padding the floor. After a few awkward seconds of silence, Rainbow finally mentioned, “Uh, do you know if Rarity has a game of Battleclouds anywhere?”
“I-I think she does,” Fluttershy murmured her reply with doubt, but perked up her volume to call out to Rarity. “Rarity, do you have Battleclouds? Rainbow Dash and I would like to play it, if you don’t mind.”
No response came from the kitchen at first, and it would not have been surprising for Fluttershy’s gentle question to have gone unheard, although if one strained their ears they’d pick up the slight muttered pondering of a unicorn searching through her memory banks. Eventually a reply came through the door, “I think I do. All the board games are in the closet to the back… you should know where, dear.”
Fluttershy nodded, even though the pony setting up their lunch would not be able to see it, and directed herself and Dash to where they needed to go. Upon finding and opening the closet door, the two tried to sort through and pick out the board game they desired to play, all while being conscious of a certain unicorn’s desire for cleanliness. This slowed their search considerably, for Rainbow’s normal method of just throwing everything out until she found what she wanted definitely made finding the thing she wanted easier. However, the task of putting everything away is one that the messy sorter never really considers. However, the ponies soon found the game, shut the door, and with nothing forcibly crammed into the small space, and the box of Dash’s favourite game, Battleclouds, which is in no way shape of form based off an already existing product from another dimension, the pair made their way to the centre of the room.
Setting up the game was a breeze, both ponies avid players of the game, though most pegasi were. Rainbow Dash enjoyed the board game as one of the only activities that could entertain her on a rainy day, while Fluttershy enjoyed it for being one of the only activities that she could do with Dash that was perfectly safe, except for that one time that will neither would ever talk about again. Still, the two began the game, one hoof each outstretched next to the board and in contact, but neither one able to look over to the other’s zone. Rainbow Dash started, and the game went underway, along with the background noise of food being prepared and cutlery being set with care and precision.
It was not long into the game that, during Fluttershy’s turn, the cautious mare found herself pausing in order to better listen out for the new sounds that were coming their way, noises coming from outside the shop and coming closer.
“Ah know what Ah saw, but Ah'm sure there mus' be another explanation,” a thick southern voice mused aloud from outside the boutique.
“What’s wrong with the first one? Sounds absolutely, positively terrific to me!” a high pitched bubbly voice filled with energy asked the owner of the first voice, she too outside and approaching the boutique.
“'Cause it’s wrong,” the first voice said, There was a slight pause, but then the voice continued on to say with trace amounts of guilt and embarrassment, “Err... of me to jump to tha' there conclusion. Not... you know. Anyways, they’d tell us, wouldn' they? So it's gotta be somethin’ else.”
“Either way it sounds like cause for a celebration!” the second pony shouted out with enthusiasm as she opened the door to the Carousel Boutique, giggling at the harmonic chimes that came with such an action.
“Hey Applejack. Hey Pinkie Pie,” Rainbow was quick to greet her two earth pony friends with her spare hoof, the other still holding firm onto Fluttershy’s extended hoof.
“Oh, hi girls. We were just talking about you,” Pinkie spoke, earning a troubled glare from Applejack.
“You were?” Fluttershy asked, many worrying thoughts about what the two ponies could have possibly gossiped about running through her head.
“Yeah,” Applejack interrupted Pinkie before she could start a conversation the cowpony was uncomfortable discussing at the moment. “'Bout how, um, Rainbow was late with the rain. Ah mean, we’ve got it now, but you worried me for a secon’.”
“That? Yeah, there was a little bit of trouble with that. But hey, Fluttershy and I did it,” Rainbow boasted, abandoning her game for the moment to usher her modest friend forward.
“You and Fluttershy did it? Ooh, how was it?” Pinkie good naturedly pestered her rainbow friend who seemed more lax than usual today.
“We sure did! Fluttershy was really slow at first, acting like she was going to mess something up, but after a couple of practise runs we got a good pace going and really got to it.” Rainbow answered with a smile.
Rainbow and Pinkie’s conversation was but a normal recounting of recent events, but alas, others in the room were interpreting things differently. Applejack, for instance, looked at Fluttershy completely aghast at what she was hearing. Fluttershy was at first innocent, knowing what actually occurred in each situation, but upon seeing her friend’s troubled and flustered face, her own face flushed bright red and her ears began picking up on messages that did not exist.
“Oh my gosh, a lot of ponies were talking about it in really hush-hush tones but I could still hear them and it’s true, you’ve got matching bracelets!”
“Sure do, there really annoying though, it’s like being on a leash.”
“Ooh, ooh, if that’s true, then, then, is it true you and Fluttershy were stuck together like glue yesterday.”
“Heh, I guess that’s one way of putting it.”
“And you stayed at Fluttershy’s house.”
Rainbow nodded in agreement as Pinkie blathered on.
“And that you slept together and it was good!”
“Except for the fact that Fluttershy pushes surprisingly hard, it was pretty good. Sleeping together on a cloud is better, but the bed was nice enough.”
Two blushing faces continued to look towards one another. Applejack’s was filled with many expressions: confusion, worry, nausea, disbelief, and shock to name a few. Fluttershy’s was only of embarrassment and pleading as she tried to form the words of truth that would dispel the innumerable misinterpretations from Applejack’s mind. Amidst Pinkie and Rainbow’s continuing conversation though, this proved futile, further insinuations coming out before any words could roll off the mare’s tongue.
Eventually, unsure if she should or even could say anything, the cowpony began to back off, reversing to the entranceway. Still, she kept her sights on Fluttershy, and still her face was mixed in emotions and beliefs.
“Applejack, you’re going already?” Rainbow Dash called out to Applejack, who flashed back a forced grin.
“Yeah, I’m going too… uh... pick some more apples,” Applejack replied slowly and unsurely as she retreated out of the building, briefly waving her three friends goodbye.
The ponies of the room looked to the spot where their friend had been standing as if she was still there. Only one of the ponies knew the true reason why Applejack had left so quickly, and in her mind she hoped she’d have a chance to explain things soon. Very, very soon.
“Everypony, lunch is finished!” Rarity called about as she came in from the kitchen, whipping her mane from her eyes. “Hello Pinkie Pie. Hmm, now I know I heard Applejack come in as well, but where has that mare gone? I even prepared her some luncheon.”
“She just left. Can I have her portion?” Pinkie grinned at her friend as she already began bouncing her way into the kitchen.
“Very well,” Rarity said to herself before looking over to her one invited guest as well as her guest by circumstance, “Come along you two.”
Rainbow grumbled about not getting to finish the game, but followed alongside Fluttershy, who, with a face still red from lingering embarrassment, began whispering suggestions of finishing the game after lunch.
It was a small lunch, most befitting of Rarity’s and Fluttershy’s lighter diets, but not efficient enough for Rainbow’s athletically regimented one, and most certainly not enough for Pinkie’s 'eat whatever she like’s' one. Still, it was a nice meal with two ponies eating with fine manners and two others finding it hard to eat without cheer or excitement. Not to say that Rarity and Fluttershy did not try to contribute to the conversation, the former had the socialite art of small talk down to an art-form, and the meal was consistent with its exchange of conversation.
The matter of Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash’s predicament was the first thing that came up, but unlike with Applejack, Rarity was now well aware of the binding bracelets that held the two pegasi together and was perceptive enough to ascertain that Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie were both ignorant of certain risqué matters that they unfortunately expressed often in their talks… well Rainbow was at least; it’s hard to tell with Pinkie.
But the discussion did not rest solely on the two pegasi, Twilight’s current sleep deprived condition was brought up, bringing with it clarity to Rarity about the two ponies' outburst from before. Rarity and Pinkie were also of interest as well, with the two of them telling how they’ve been as well and matters such as late orders and the sudden popularity of raincoats being told alongside matters of the production of party-alerting devices and the sound of millions of voices suddenly crying out in terror to the boarders of the Everfree forest.
It was twenty minutes later, as the meal was drawing to a close that a new topic worth informing in lines of dialogue came up. “So Rainbow Dash, you still up for tomorrow’s day of pranking? Pinkie asked as she licked the crumbs off her plate.
“Of course! Why would you think I wouldn’t be?” Rainbow replied with a mischievous grin as she plotted away new pranks for that very day.
In response Pinkie raised a hoof, motioning for Rainbow lift her own, which the two mares did in turn, their forelegs corresponding to Pinkie’s. It was then that Rainbow found hers to be different in not only colour to Pinkie's, but in how there was a mystical bracelet attached to it. Rainbow then looked over to Fluttershy who had raised her own bracelet attached foreleg, and though their colours differed as well, the accessories matched.
Slowly, a face of realization formed on the prismatic mane mare, “Huh, funny how I keep forgetting about these things.” A nervous moment passed between the two, slight smiles rising up on the two ponies faces before Rainbow asked, “Fluttershy, do you mind going pranking with me and Pinkie tomorrow?”
“Well no, but…” Fluttershy began to say but then looked over to Rarity.
Said unicorn was more than willing to finish off what the mare needed saying, “Fluttershy and I have our weekly spa appointment tomorrow and… oh wait.”
Rarity looked on over to Rainbow Dash, eyeing both the bracelet and the worried pony in question before saying with a chuckle, “Rainbow Dash, I don’t suppose you wouldn’t mind accompanying me and Fluttershy to the spa tomorrow would you?”
“T-the spa! No way, why would I…” Rainbow Dash stopped herself as she looked towards Fluttershy, her wing gently outstretched to meet the ponies body and ensue the actions of the wordless contract, “... I don’t have much choice, do I? Can it wait another day? Pinkie and I have plans tomorrow.”
Rainbow waved a hoof towards her pink friend who was now deep in thought… a fact that immediately unnerved all within the room. Not that they ever thought Pinkie was incapable of thought, but rather they were used to the eccentric pony being spontaneous, either acting without thinking or being able to think really bloomin’ quick. Instead Pinkie sat, her eyes closed as if in deep meditation and a hoof rubbing constantly against her chin.
“Umm… Pinkie dear, would you be so kind as to please let go of my hoof?” Rarity asked, having somehow only just noticed that Pinkie had grabbed her hoof and used it to scratch the pony's pink chin.
Pinkie nonchalantly let go of Rarity’s hoof, as if such an act was a normal thing to do, opened her eyes, and said, “I’m okay with postponing Dashie’s and my prank day for the day after tomorrow on one condition…” Pinkie paused not because she needed too, but for dramatic effect, gauging her friend’s curiosity and her deal, “... that I get to go with you to the spa tomorrow so we can all have a spa party!”
Pinkie’s wide eyes and smile soon spread to Rarity, who rubbed her snow white hooves together at the thought. Fluttershy also shared the positive vibe but, with a more subtle smile. Rainbow, on the other hoof, was completely devastated, her lips plummeting at the sides and her brow furrowed glumly.
“Why Pinkie!? Why?!” Rainbow pleaded in a dramatic fashion more suited to the diamond marked unicorn in the room.
“Because it’ll be fun and I’ve never had a spa party before, and as a party lover there should be no party I’ve never partied to before.” Pinkie explained, her upbeat grin remaining.
“Who knows, you might even like it,” Fluttershy tried, earning her a grunt from the pony seated next to her.
“Very well then. Tomorrow, the four of us will be going to the spa together.” Rarity stated with enthusiasm, not bothering to wait for Rainbow to come around to the idea.
“And we're going to have lots of fun!” Pinkie beamed.
“Indeed we are, darling.”
“And we're going to talk about lots of silly gossip!”
“Indeed we are, darling.”
“And Rarity will pay for all us.”
“Indeed, we aWhat!?”
Important Information: I regret to inform you but the next chapter of Magnetism will not be uploaded two weeks from now on the previously scheduled date of the 20th/21st October. Instead you can expect the fourth chapter of Magnetism three weeks from now either on the 27th or 28th October. If you wish to know the reason for this chapter's delay then feel free to check out my latest blog post (which shall be uploaded within the next 24 hours) where I shall be sure to comment on it.
Yay, a new chapter! I like it!
AJ... let them explain what the bracelets are before you assume they're wedding bands - although to be fair, both times she saw them the circumstances were fairly damning. Rainbow and Pinkie need to learn how to speak without double meanings....
The last line, pure awesome.
Excellent. I can't wait for the spa party
*her
What's with the extra apostrophes?
*fright
All in all, a LOL filled chapter!
Well done!
i.imgur.com/j4Nnv.png ~Wolf
Long Vive, Lupus Imperii!
If you meant both of them then it should be pegasi. If you were referring to just Flutters then were should be was.
I c wat u did thar.
Featured box again! Dude you are awesome! :D
1400638
lol, the first one is supposed to be 'this', not 'her'
1400638
That middle one was mostly because, lets face it, Applejack would NEVER say that. I added those in for my dear friend because I felt that would be something that was straight from the schedule itself, and thus, the quotes.
As for the other two... ummm... LOOK THERE! A SHINY!!
*runs*
Can't wait to read it.
i1062.photobucket.com/albums/t486/FireSnake-/DashiesEyes.jpg
With Dashie ^.^
1400744 Still an error!
1400774 Wolf is not affected by shinnies! BOW DOWN TO THE EMPIRE!
i.imgur.com/j4Nnv.png ~Wolf
Long Vive, Lupus Imperii!
PM. 12AM is midnight, 12PM is noon.
*they're
I love this story more with every chapter. Applejack's misinterpretation was just hilarious as is psycho Twilight and there are too many references to mention. All I can say is that this is a master piece of fan fiction
A few mistakes spotted:
- "it was Fluttershy who opened the door, so so instead of the normal slamming action" - Only one so needed
- "even though the sign of affection was a hesitated act on Dash’s part, she came to enjoy act." - 'it', not 'act'
- "which is in no way shape of form based off an already existing product" - Should be "no way, shape or form"
Oh dear..
Here is hoping Applejack Keeps silent about her interpretations.
Awaiting further releases.
Oh gosh, this was just priceless. That double-meaning dialogue!! XD Rainbow Dash really did make it sound like...something else. Poor Applejack doesn't know WHAT to think! And now they're all off to the spa? Oh boy! XD That's going to be epic hilarity. Ooh, and there's that preview scene! That was cool. 8D XDDD Hee, AJ thinks they were being a bit flirty? Hee!
The opening bits were pretty cool. Snuggles! Unintentional sleep snuggles, but still snuggles! Snugglies! D'awwww. Even if it was all cut short. XD And yes, I did briefly wonder where Angel was....and then I laughed. I laughed and said, "Take that!", but then I felt bad since he was only sleeping and had to face such a rude awakening. xD You can have this one, Angel.
Oh my God, it's Lesson Zero 2! Chopped off legs!!! D:
XD Yeah, those bits were funny.
You know, I might just attempt at doing art for this.
Overall, this was a fun ride! X3 I look forward to the next chapter! Okay, so we have to wait three weeks, but oh well. XD It'll be worth the wait.
Might want to hyphenate those two words, otherwise it reads as if Rainbow's mane was just six strands of hair.
Beyond that, quite an enjoyable read!
(Takei) OH MY (/Takei)
WHOA! WHOAAA!!! HOLD IT! HOLD IT, GODDAMMIT, TWILIGHT D: *damned near fell out of computer chair* OK, somebody needs to write Celestia now. Her student is rapidly going full-on-CUPCAKES D:
...
And then there's Rarity running the gag inadvertantly - which was hilarious - and the double-entendre confusion as regards AJ overhearing that entire 'Now we buck' conversation. :D Oh God this fic is going to KILL ME. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Scootaloo_lolface.png
I love it. Also one error no one else has mentioned:
except for that one time that will neither would ever talk about again.
the word will should be removed
OH MY GOD.
1400554
Teehee
Very well done! You seemed to have improved in terms of details, and more complex sentences. However, I think this sort of killed the first two paragraphs, at least, in terms of sentence variation. So in the next chapter- you don't have to change this one, or anything, as this is only advice- it wouldn't hurt to add a few more simple sentences to counteract the more detailed complex/Compound sentences.
Sorry if this makes you feel a bit pressured, but it's just something to think about.
Read.
Well I loved the opening with them in bed together.
It then got better and even more fun when they went around together looking like a couple. The description of them flying around like a married couple was brilliant I hope its not too long till the wedding (or at least when they get together.)
Great job. Keep up the awesome work.
Poor Twilight, she does get ever so strange when there's a problem that seems unsolvable.
"“Indeed, we aWhat!?”" Pinkie is awesome!
"Setting up the game was a breeze, both ponies avid players of the game, though most pegasi were. Rainbow Dash enjoyed the board game as one of the only activities that could entertain her on a rainy day, while Fluttershy enjoyed it for being one of the only activities that she could do with Dash that was perfectly safe, except for that one time that will neither would ever talk about again."
xD noddle incident indeed
Applejack buck you Applejack! Twilight went crazy. Wub!
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Spitfire_rape.png
Did rainbow just say "mum"? She should say "mom" she's 'MERICAN after all.
Oh my that was funny.
Everyone loves a good innuendo
That was BRILLIANT!!! Innuendos, chopping off their legs, the whole flying thing. But Spike was right, she should find the book first. Still a great idea, as long as they actually want to separate.
The beginning was extremely cute.
But why so long for your next chapter to come out? Just one week feels like forever but you're planning on three. Whycome? D:
When Twilight came back with the life i was like, no...please...no chopping off legs...
I never lol'd so much, sexual innuendo is funny as hell.
Oh, Applejack.
Damn, Crazy!Twilight is scarier than Pinkamena!
Oh, Pinkie. I do so love your shenanigans.
Continuing on from my last comment it is now time I move onto Chapter 3 comment replies. It seems I'm not going to get as many comments on this chapter as the previous two but hey, I'm still getting them in droves.
1400475 That's good to know, happy you liked the new chapter. Thanks for commenting.
1400527 No, no, Innocent (lacking in social understanding and street smarts) Twilight from episodes such as Look Before You Sleep is best Twilight . Also, I feel I'm one of the few who preferred the panicking Twilight from It's About Time to Lesson Zero's psycho Twilight.
Anyway, neat to see you enjoyed the chapter and thank you for commenting.
1400554 Wedding bands... if you think about it that does seem the most logical way for Earth ponies and Pegasus to get married, what with lacking any way to attach a ring on them. Now that you have said it, it has been head-cannoned! As for Rainbow and Pinkie speaking without double meanings, unlikely to happen, most of the humour is stored in that component and it ties in with the Romantically and Sexually Oblivious Dash I've got going here (with Pinkie it's a mystery, is she also oblivious or doing this on purpose? Who knows, I don't even know). Thanks for the humorous comment here Destructorspace.
1400595 Thanks, though to be honest while the concept of the last line was my idea, the phrasing of it was done by my editor, Ugugg, so thanks should go more to him than myself in regards to that last line. Thank you for commenting.
1400627 That's good to hear, I'm sure you'll find it to be an enjoyable chapter with lots of involvement by Pinkie and Rarity, easily the two funniest characters in the show, especially when together. Thanks for commenting.
1400638 Thank you very much Wolfmaster1337 for not only expressing your enjoyment of the chapter but also for critiquing me. Pointing out these mistakes will be a big help when I go back through the chapters and edit them. I appreciate it.
1400652 Considering there was only ever one Pegasus I find it funny that we have a term for multiple pegasus. Thanks for pointing that out for me and thank you for commenting.
1400687 Aha! So you have spotted my G3 reference, but did you notice the other G3 reference? Yes, I made two of them, and should also be making another one towards the end of the story. How am I able to reference G3 so much? Well I have actually watched and reviewed some of the episodes; it's not as bad as bronies make it out to be. Admittedly it's nowhere as good as Friendship is Magic but some enjoyment can come out of it, and I found the art style to often be very eye catching. Anyway, I thank you for commenting.
1400717 No need to state this fact, I am well aware of my own awesomeness . Thanks for the pleasing comment.
1400744 Good of you to point that out and thanks for commenting.
1400774 Hello Ugugg, no comment on the subject of my story. Well I guess you've added many a comment in your editing, and to comment on the quality now would mostly end up be praising your own contributions to it. Great to see you involved in commenting with the others in regards to errors that both are edits may have missed out on.
Also, by shiny do you mean a generic shiny thing/object or do you mean a Shiny Pokémon? I don't spot many of them but when I do they are always of my favourite type, bug. So... yeah, that's all I have to say so thank you the comment dear friend.
1400810 Dear gosh, I almost deleted this comment by accident, really close there. Well then when you do read the chapter I hope your experience to be enjoyable. As for reading with Dash, well she tends to read out loud and we're sure to be reading different things so that is bound to get annoying (also in this story's timeline the events of 'Read it and Weep' have yet to occur).
1400872 woops! Thanks for spotting this error, funny enough the time mistake was also noticed over on Fanfiction.net as well. So thanks for commenting!
1400898 Glad to hear you think so highly of this story. I'm also glad to hear that I'm getting readers to enjoy this story more and more with each chapter. I love Applejack's misinterpretations (the poor gal is a right victim of this in Magnetism) and psycho Twilight was fun to write. As for the references, there are indeed plenty and I dare you to try and list as many as you can.
I should also thank you for the critique, pointing out these mistakes will be handy when I re-edit the chapters in future. Finally thank you very much for commenting Fireseeker, I appreciate it.
1401272 I fear Applejack might be a target for gossipers, after all a pony whose frequently at the market in earshot of numerous ponies and who struggles to lie seems like a pony who would be pressed for news quite often. Her keeping quiet might be a difficult thing to accomplish, what should be more worrying is if she misinterprets anything else . Thank you for commenting!
1401493 Always a satisfyingly long comment packed full of praise with you NintendoGal, certainly sure to infect a smile onto my face . Dash indeed made it sound like something else, though Pinkie wasn't helping things in the later conversation. Yeah, Applejack suffers from this a lot, and in the next chapter, and the chapter after that. As for AJ thinking they were a bit flirty, if Dash were to be more unintentionally flirtatious she'd be singing a love song.
The snuggles in the opening was more for the humour (and as a tribute to World of Chaos), sleep snuggles being better written in Thank You Cider!. I also prefer the intentional hug Dash gives Fluttershy later on in the chapter; I just love the idea of Dash making sure no one is watching before displaying such a sweet show of affection. Great to see you some sympathy for Angel Bunny, he gets too much hate despite his actions being well reasoned.
Finally, glad to see you enjoyed the chapter. I personally don't see it quite as funny as the last two chapters but it is certainly a step up in terms of writing quality so that I'm proud. Thanks for commenting.
1401589 Yeah, I should probably sort that out when I get the chance. Nice to know that you enjoyed your read and thank you for commenting.
1401769 Oh, just a quick thing before I comment on your comment, your first emoticon failed because you used the wrong brackets. Use these brackets; [], not these; ().
Great to see you highlighted a couple of lines you found to be a hilarious experience, I always like to know parts of a story or chapter that a reader specifically likes. Yeah Twilight is getting a bit unhinged, though at least she was doing it out of the kindness of her heart (she got stressed out over believing she was failing her friends by sleeping when she feels she should instead be helping them). I loved the idea of Rarity accidentally repeating the incident, unaware of the previous moment, and innuendoes and double-entendre confusion is a key piece of this story's humour. Here's hoping that you mean I will be killing you with laughter and thank you for commenting RaptorCalloftheShadows.
1401931 Jolly good of you for pointing that out kind sir, and many a thanks for commenting.
1401947 Huh, odd to find someone with an AppleDash avatar reading a FlutterDash story. Well good to see I got plenty of laughs out of you and thanks for commenting.
1402022 Much hilarity to be had for sure with that there moment. Thanks for commenting, I always like to see what moments my readers enjoy.
1402059 I agree with you that in regards to quality, this chapter boasts more of it than the others. For your other point, while it is not to my style I guess I should try and add some simpler sentences, help break up the more complex ones from being too heavy on the mind and allow a greater ease of reading. No promises guaranteed but I see the value in such a point and will try and give it a shot.
Never be sorry to hand out advise or offer critique, I appreciate such things and shall welcome them always. Thank you for commenting MelanSky .
1402619 Good to know and thanks for reading.
1403119 Figures you'd enjoy that opening, though I feel did a greater job of it in Thank You Cider than I did here (though waking up in bed together was a pretty large focus of the story there while here it is just a detail for humour). Yeah, the flying around like a married couple and Applejack spotting them was my favourite scene in this fanfic, both to write and read so I love seeing so many readers here enjoy the scene as well. I'll be sure to keep up the awesome work FlutterDash7 and thanks for the comment.
1403548 Yeah, Twilight's just trying to help, she doesn't want to make it seem like she's abandoning her friends in favour of sleep. Though the idea of Rarity's line was mine the exact phrasing of it is to Ugugg's credit so thanks go to him there. Also, if you like Pinkie then these next two chapters will be a blast, she features heavily in both. Thanks for the comment.
1403817 Not much to say on this one other than that I'm pleased you enjoyed this scene and hopefully the rest of the story so far. Thank you for commenting.
1404876 I was surprised when Hasbro, who owns the rights to Battleships and was having a movie based on said game produced, didn't just outright say Battleships in the 'Read it and Weep' episode. I decided to poke a little fun at it though and the end result was a small but smile bearing line. Thanks for the comment.
1405404 Now, now, don't be mean to Applejack. Neat to see you Wub the chapter and thank you for commenting.
1407007 Perhaps not the best of terms Dash could have used but she really does not understand the whole sexual innuendo thing. Neat of you to point out a moment you enjoyed and thank you for commenting.
1407546 Isn't MLP:FiM made in Canada? So wouldn't that make Rainbow Dash Canadian? Thanks for the comment and I'll be sticking to my British tongue.
1408099 Happy to know that you found it so. Thanks for the comment.
1408941 As I do too. Funny how I don't like straight up sexual matters and yet subtle innuendo's I find outright hilarious. Thanks for commenting.
1409299 Good to see that you enjoyed so much of this chapter, I must have done a pretty fine job of it then. I should add though, even if the two do get together as a couple I'm pretty sure they would want to be separated from the bracelets as it would still prove a bloomin' annoying inconvenience (can you imagine Dash trying to win a race while carrying Fluttershy all the way through it?) Thanks for the comment and I'll be sure to get the later chapters even more brilliant than this.
1409698 Glad to see you like the opening to this chapter. As for why the next chapter won't be due until three weeks, well that I have already explained on my current blog post that you are free to check out. Saying here quickly though, let's just say I'm tired of waking up at 4:30AM each and every morning just to get some writing done before work. Thank you for the comment.
1409941 Do not worry, you won't see any leg chopping in this fanfic. Great to see a third comment from you Gareth_Jason, and it's also nice to know you've enjoyed this chapter as well as the previous ones. Thank you for the many comments.
1412014 XD I used () marks on purpose. Do we have a takei emoticon? o.o *testing!* [takei]OH MY[/takei]
EDIT: Didn't think so. XD
1412014
Exactly.
Why does being the Element of Honesty entitled being so incabale of witholding any information?!
This is the worst. Possible. THIIIINGGGGGG!
Indeed, the head of Fluttershy is in the proverbial cannon.
1412014
No problem mate
I would take you up on that dare to list the references but that would require effort on my behalf
1412014 Aww, you're welcome! And I agree, the intentional hug was sweet. Yes, Rainbow needs to make sure nopony else is watching before she gets affectionate, but hey, soon it may come easier! XD And yes, of course. Angel was sleeping, after all, and then he gets a rude awakening? Nah, even he doesn't deserve that!
Oh, sneaky Pinkie at the end. She just got Rarity to agree to pay for it all. *chuckles*
1412014 No problem
i.imgur.com/j4Nnv.png ~Wolf
diu vivere in lupus imperium!
1411737 Exactly, and you are welcome,
1412014 Thank god no leg chopping! And reason i comment so much is I love this story, this has become my number one story that i will freak out if i see an update for it and immediately read
This story is freaking awesome!
Amazing :)
Good writing, amazing story, evnethough you might have overdone the descriptiveness in the first part.
What I don't understand is why Applejack always gets made out to be such a prude or jealous character. She's nothing like that at all.
That last exchange actually made me laugh
Then I got weird looks from the other bus passengers
Very well written. There were only a few minor errors I noticed which have already been pointed out so I won't bother with that. Goodness, Applejack sure seems to like jumping to conclusions. Wasn't that one of those friendship lessons that everyone seems to forget immediately after the episode ends? Ah well.
I'm enjoying the story very much! Looking forward to an update
Procrastinates reading chapter 3.
Reads first 2 paragraphs of chapter 3
Has to stop from the HNNNNNG
Oh god, you can write. i especially love the inexplicable detail.
i guess your putting in a great effort to do this. i shall wait for the upcoming chapters of this story(even though i didnt read it yet but i look forward to).
This should be all the chapter 3 comments left to reply to, and then before or while I upload chapter 4 of Magnetism this weekend, I can go back and reply to all those comments on chapter 1 that have been sitting around for a while. To all those chapter 1 commenters, sorry it's been taking me so long to get back to you all but the majority of those comments are really long (also some strange and irrelevant 'read later' discussion started to spring up). Comment time it is now.
1411866 You highlighted one of my favourite parts of this chapter. It's a brilliant moment isn't it, just a real Pinkie-esque scene that you can just picture in the show; Pinkie Pie rubbing her chin in deep thought and then the camera pans out to reveal it wasn't her hoof rubbing her chin and she was using one of her friend's hooves instead. It seems like you had a lot of fun reading this chapter and I thank you both for pointing out so many moments you liked and for commenting.
1412447 Indeed it is, indeed it is. In my original plans for this chapter Applejack was going to say she was going to visit Twilight (and in turn be told by Spike what has happened) but I wanted to have another moment or two of Applejack getting the wrong idea (she's either in the wrong place at the wrong time or Dash's sexual obliviousness runs its course). A rather humorous comment reply, thanks for that Divine Path.
1412690 You know, your reply sounds just like something my little brother would say . Thanks for noticing the ensemble of references anyway and once again, thanks for commenting.
1413455 Admittedly, Rarity, being so generous, would have been more than willing to pay for them if need be but it was more fun having her duped into it by sneaky Pinkie. It also feels like something Pinkie Pie would do, and a very show styled joke. Thanks for the comment.
1413827 Aw, c'mon, I don't need all that praise... praise me more, more! Yeah, you won't have to worry about any leg chopping from this story, and if any of my other stories do contain dark or gory moments they will always be under an M rating, and preferably either undetailed (well, less detailed) or merely hinted at (say if I were to have a torture scene in one of my stories, you would only see the start and the results of the torture but nothing in-between).
Come this weekend I will look forward to another one of your comments on this story, cheerio for now though.
1414353 A short but enjoyable comment, thank you.
1417266 Quick question, by first part do you mean the first chapter or the first part of this third chapter?
Anyway, hello Loki, thank you for the praise. I'm glad you find my writing to be of a satisfactory quality and the story to be of even greater quality. As for your comment regarding Applejack, the depiction of Applejack is something I will eventually go into detail with on my blog, once chapter 5 of Magnetism is released. It is with this chapter that Applejack and her reactions will be explored a bit, and I'm hoping readers will be able to understand and sympathise with her even if they do not see eye to eye. Furthermore, as sexual matters are never brought up in MLP, it is hard to say how they would act and react to such matters. For me Applejack's strong belief and trust in family leads her to be strictly heterosexual, with not so much a hatred for homosexuality but a lack of understanding and weariness towards it. Finally, I would actually consider being called prude a compliment.
This is all I can say on such a topic for the time being but it is something that will pop up later in this story and one I will explain in detail in my profile blog once that specific chapter has been uploaded. Thanks for the comment Loki.
1426005 I always do love hear people's little laughing incidents. It's always amusing to see a comment say, "and then I woke my roommate" or "my family think I've gone mad" in relation to laughter. On the other hand it does worry me how you phrased that, does that mean the rest of this chapter hasn't made you laugh?
Very well then, thank you for being willing to point out criticism after reading this chapter. Also, yeah, that one moral does seem to be forgotten an awful lot. I hope to please you this weekend and thank you for commenting.
1452249 I'm getting mixed messages with these two opening paragraphs. Are they good because they are so detailed or bad because they are overly detailed? Since when did my two opening paragraphs become marmite?
Sorry that the levels of cuteness caused you pain in the opening scene. In comparison to my first MLP story, Thank You Cider, the opening scene doesn't seem like much but that story kind of revolved around Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and a bed so yeah, the opening scene is good both in comparison and in its own right. I'm glad you like the detail and I'm hoping to see more comments of yours with HNNNNNG from sheer adorableness. Thank you for commenting.
1487303
When I said 'actually', I was referring more to the 'loud enough so other people could hear and look at me like I'm about to grow a second head' part of it.
This is actually one of my favorite stories currently in the works; the concept is original, your writing style never fails to grip me, and I'm just a sucker for some good old RomCom dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra2.png
I'd be lying if I said I was laughing throughout the entire story, but I probably should have worded that a bit better. I'm a really subdued person when it comes to reading and it takes a lot to get a visible reaction when I'm in the middle of something.
Sorry if it came across as rude, I honestly didn't mean it!
Cheers to a coming update!dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Sweetie_happy.png