Freedom Through Harmony

by Electricut

Chapter Sixty-one

Chapter Sixty-one
Library Annex
Twilight

Twilight lay alone in the darkened room, utterly defeated. She hadn’t left the library itself for weeks, and had barely left her own room save for when it was absolutely necessary. Which was to say, when she had to use the bathroom or stockpile more food. No one needed her for anything more serious than that anymore.

She was an absolute wreck, and had been since almost the moment after the party had returned from meeting Fenrir. That mission was everything she needed to get her life back on track- she knew it was right no matter who she asked, and it had felt so good to be doing something for the greater good, without having to worry about this horrible storm brewing between the throne and the people of Equestria... until it all went to hell.

Meeting that Goldoan dragon had just been another giant nail in the coffin. Fenrir had revealed that Celestia had somehow been in contact with Tellius in the past- another example of everyone being blatantly lied to- and brought back a horrendous drug that drove people insane, turning them into empty-minded killing machines. She had attempted to use it on Spike’s lost shipmate, probably others as well, and had likely used a muted version on the general public of her army. It was a terrible revelation, an inhumane tactic, and... and Twilight could barely believe any of it.

It wasn’t that she didn’t want to try, but she just... couldn’t. All her friends had seemingly taken up arms against the Queen, and against her if she didn’t join them. It seemed like her life had completely fallen apart ever since the Lunar Festival, almost half a year ago. She wanted nothing more than to join her friends and fight alongside them, but... it wasn’t that easy. All her life, she had been raised by the Queen, for the Queen, believing the Queen was good. Celestia had given her everything in life- a world to roam, a proper father figure who cared for her and a brother who she loved now more than ever...

Then her perfect life had been... dashed. Ever since she met Rainbow Dash, everything she had ever known had been thrown into question, disarray, and complete chaos. Right off the bat the two had never gotten along- Dash was headstrong and arrogant, totally sure of himself but doubtful of everyone else. Were it just him, she could deal with it and move on... but then it turned into Applejack and Rarity alongside him. Then Pinky. Even Fluttershy. Then her own long-lost twin sister, and the foster family she had cared for all her life. One by one, everyone who had stood by her was leaving her alone in a world no longer inviting.

Twilight had retreated into herself to try and sort everything out. She couldn’t imagine what she was supposed to do, though. She would never turn on her new friends, but she doubted she could ever turn against Celestia either. Twilight owed her so much, and no matter how hard she tried to reason with herself, she couldn’t bring herself to think of the person who gave her so much in life as the enemy. She wished there were someone there to help her through, but as the days melted into weeks, she became more and more alone, and more depressed. More than anything she wanted Phil back by her side to hold her, to comfort her and tell her everything would be alright again...

She often wondered if Spike even noticed anything was happening. Surely he had picked up that she wasn’t leaving the library much, but Twilight doubted he realized how much she was suffering. He was far too busy hanging out with Fluttershy these days to notice Twilight much anymore. She didn’t hate him for it. She was happy that he was happy, even if she had difficulty imagining a serious relationship between the two going very far. She only wished she could be happy too.

At the very least, Twilight was glad she had holed herself up in a library. Without any people around to comfort her, she was thankful she could retreat into the world of books she had known before. Many of the books available in this library were the same as the ones in Eclipse’s own gigantic library, but just like at home, there were always those few old, obscure, impossible to locate writings that could only be found in one place. Twilight dedicated herself to finding anything of the sort in her new home, and at last had some success.

What she found was a mention of an ancient hero of Dawn, an Arcmage called Jonathan. Apparently he hadn’t been much of a typical ‘hero’: he was rather short, wore glasses, was constantly buried in books, and spoke to almost no-one. Almost immediately Twilight felt a deep connection with this boy. It wasn’t clear exactly what Jonathan had done, but she began finding more and more references to him in the older tomes. He had, for whatever reason, enlisted in the army of Dawn during the Equestrian Civil War, and eventually climbed the ranks to sergeant. While he wasn’t portrayed as someone who particularly liked fighting or violence, he was described as a brilliant magician and tactician.

His story came to a climax during one of the later battles of the civil war, a bloody border clash between old Eclipse and Dawn. Jonathan had accompanied the Dawn forces into battle that day, but leading the charge for Eclipse was one of their own most accomplished mages: the great sorcerer Starswirl. The two mages’ armies clashed brutally, both led by a tested tactician, and eventually the magicians themselves were thrown into a chaotic duel. The magics used blasted apart the already war-torn town, and those who witnessed the clash and lived to tell about it said the light show above was unlike anything made for entertainment.

Twilight couldn’t find anything about Jonathan after that battle, nor anything at all on Starswirl. The book that described the battle said both men made it out alive, retreating to their homes to nurse their wounds, but neither was ever mentioned again. Twilight was determined not to loose this friend from long ago, this boy who she felt would have understood everything happening to her. She couldn’t find anything else about him, but her imagination went wild picturing all the adventures he must have had before and after the war.

It wasn’t quite enough to help her out of her slowly worsening depression. Whenever she wasn’t thinking about Jonathan, or something else she had been reading about, she was brought back to the horrible reality of the situation she had been thrown into. She knew she had to work it out somehow, but it was so much easier to just try and not think about it at all. This night was like any other, but she just couldn’t shake off reality this time. As much as she wanted to escape into her books, it was too dark outside and she didn’t want to waste too much lamplight this late. She wanted to fall asleep and dream, perhaps to join Jonathan and quest across the old Equestria, but sleep didn’t come to her.

She just lay awake in bed, her mind unable to stay away from what she had hope to avoid dwelling on. She just wanted to do something positive, but nothing was working anymore. Everything she could have done would have been bad for someone, and she felt cornered and alone. More than ever, she wished Phil were there with her. Tears began to form at the pit of her eyes, and she cursed herself for being so weak. Unbidden, something Phil had said to her before floated to the surface of her memories: Strength isn’t cutting off all your emotions- it’s controlling and following them that counts. It’s not-never needing help, it’s about being able to ask for help when you need it, and having friends there for you that will give it. Well, what good was that to her now? These emotions were tearing her apart, and she couldn’t see a way out. She sure as anything needed help now, but she had no-one to turn to for help anymore...

“Twilight.” An all too familiar voice sounded from across the room. Twilight sighed heavily and turned away from the window as Rainbow Dash threw aside the curtains and slipped inside.

“I don’t have the energy to deal with you.” She commented dryly. “Would it be too much to ask for you to just get lost and let me be?”

“Yeah.” Dash replied. “It would be too much to ask. Look, I know we don’t tend to get along much, but I can see you’re hurting.”

“You think?” Twilight shot back. She didn’t mean to be obnoxious towards him, but she really didn’t feel up to putting on a nice face. “I seriously doubt you’re going to make me feel any better right now.”

Dash took a moment before responding. “Twilight... For whatever reason, by whatever strange circumstances we got thrown into... I seem to be able to call you a friend. And it’s my policy to not let friends suffer like this, no matter how much they may get on my nerves. So... Just want to let you know you’re not alone here. I’m not the only one to notice you like this. Everyone’s worried about you, and we’re all willing to be there for you. We’re all going through a lot lately, and you don’t have to face it down alone.”

Twilight didn’t answer or turn to face him, but she heard everything he had said. She could feel him linger in the room for a few moments, then he bade her a stiff farewell and slipped back out the window.
_________________

Eastern peak, the next day
Fluttershy

Spike and Fluttershy had been traveling non-stop towards the mountain the moment after Xekora had returned to town, a notebook full of ancient music to show for his efforts. Spike was thrilled that Xekora had managed to get so many different songs, as most could prove useful later on. Fluttershy was just glad she now had a way to help the poor soul who had been warped by the feral drug, but she wasn’t sure about having to contact the herons across the ocean. Luckily, Xekora had told her the heron Queen was very understanding of their plight, and said she didn’t have to contact them until after things calmed down.

Even though it was dark out, the pair knew they had to move fast and cure Fenrir as quickly as possible, so they set off almost immediately after receiving the lyric book. By torchlight the two traversed the now frigid fields, reaching the towering mountain by daybreak. Stopping only to eat a light breakfast, they continued along the same path they had used before. Fluttershy was exhausted from lack of sleep, but barely showed it. She knew it was finally time for her to shine and do what she could to help someone in need.

Soon Spike and Fluttershy rounded the final corner and came back to the plateau atop the mountain, the cave gaping at them from across the stone darkened even more by the early morning shadows. Fluttershy stifled a yawn as Spike moved over to the entrance, jangling the heavy chains now binding his old comrade. He danced back quickly as the huge dragon dragged itself out of the cavern, also too tired to put up much of a fight. Spike turned and nodded encouragement to Fluttershy, and she flipped the notebook open to the first page.

The lyrics were difficult to read. Even though they had been translated into characters Fluttershy could understand- as opposed to the ancient Tellian language they were traditionally written in- the pronunciation was still strange. It took her a few minutes to read the words aloud and figure out how she needed to say them when singing. Finally, she pocketed the book and approached the dragon cautiously and began floating a foot or so off the ground.

She clasped her hands together in front of her, and began to sing, slowly and clearly. At once she could feel power behind these complex, ancient words, reaching beyond herself, the mountain and even the world. As each syllable left her lips, she could feel a change in the atmosphere, and an unreal calm befell her and the two dragons.

As she neared the end of the song, a strange light began to envelop Fenrir, almost aura-like. It started as a faint glow, warping the light around the mountain and giving it a painting-like quality, but soon it became so bright Fluttershy had to squeeze her eyes shut. The light reached its peak intensity just as the song finished, but it lacked any threatening element. It was more of a cleansing light, Fluttershy mused.

A few moments later, it began to fade, and Fluttershy cracked her eyes open to see what had happened. At first, it seemed like the dragon had vanished altogether, or perhaps retreated back to its cave, because the plateau was once again near-empty. But as the last of the unnatural light faded and gave way to the dull morning glow of the winter sun, she was able to make out another humanoid figure stumbling around the edges of the cavern.

It moved suddenly, making a run for Spike, and Fluttershy was about to arm her bow and try to stop him, before he tackled Spike in a giant bear hug. She was able to see him more clearly now that he had left the cave: he was rather short, at least a head shorter than Spike, but very muscular. He had a tangled orange beard and hair that was tied back carelessly behind him, and had on what was left of a very battered set of leather armor. As daunting as he could have been, he had a big smile on his face and continued to deprive Spike of air in his hug.

“Ah, kid! I knew you’d come through for me!” Fenrir said, finally releasing Spike. Spike stumbled to the ground, out of breath, clutching his chest as though Fenrir had broken one of his ribs. “Took a bit longer than I would have liked, but hey, I’m back better than ever now!”

“Yeah... Sorry about making you wait...” Spike replied, catching his breath. “Our guy we sent back to Tellius to get the song... took a little longer than expected.”

“Oh yeah, that Xekora fella’ you were telling me about. You ever figure out what his deal is? He just seems too powerful and outlandish to ignore.”

“I thought that too, but I can’t get in his head. He came back to drop off the songs and some sending stones, but he left again in a hurry. I think he ran into someone in Tellius, and now he’s all frantic to do... something. He wouldn’t tell me what though.”

“Ah, just as well. I’d just as soon let all those super-powered guys beat each other to death and keep to my own level of business. Trust me, it’s no fun being up there with them.” Fenrir then turned and took in Fluttershy for the first time. “This must be the heron-powered girl you like telling me about so much! Geez, you could be a regular heron princess, no problem!”

In spite of herself, Fluttershy couldn’t help but giggle slightly. She had only just met him and already she liked Fenrir- as soon as he had been cured, he had assumed a happy-go-lucky attitude somewhat unbefitting of someone as strong as him. He thrust out his hand, and Fluttershy flinched away, afraid he might try to hug her next. When she saw he was merely holding out his hand for her to shake, she relaxed and obliged him. He made a show of being overly gentle about it, and Fluttershy giggled again. A bit eccentric, maybe, but Fenrir was a likable person so far.

The three soon made their way back down the mountain, stopped for lunch at the foot, and packed up to head home. Spike had already arranged for a place for Fenrir to stay in secret. As the party began its trek back, which would see them home just as night was falling, Fluttershy stole a glance in the opposite direction. The direction of Manehattan, her original home. She didn’t feel homesick very often, but she found herself wondering how her older sister was doing, or what she was doing. She’ll probably enlist as soon as the resistance hits Manehattan. Fluttershy mused. I just hope she doesn’t hurt herself.

The trip back was uneventful but lively with conversation, mostly the two dragons making up for lost time, and filling each other in on little details of what had happened since their parting. Spike was hesitant when he told Fenrir that two more dragons had been killed in the line of duty since arriving, and they shared a moment of silence to honor them again. During the whole walk back, something was weighing heavily on Fluttershy’s mind, but she didn’t want to bring it up with Fenrir around. She barely wanted to without him around.

As the sun began its descent in the sky, the shadow of town became visible on the same horizon. The three approached the gates, but Fluttershy stopped short before entering. She just couldn’t wait any longer to get this off her chest. “Um, Spike...?” She started, drawing the guardian’s attention. “Can... Can we talk for a bit?”

“Huh? Oh, uh, sure. Fenrir, the inn’s just to the right off the main street, room 16. See you later.” Spike waited a moment to see Fenrir off safely, then turned back to Fluttershy. “What is it?” He asked, a hint of concern in his voice.

Now that she had finally pulled him aside to talk, Fluttershy had no idea what to say. It took her a few moments to speak up again, blushing the whole while. “Um... I-I need to ask... Spike... How do you... feel about me?”

Spikes eyebrows raised marginally, and he appeared both surprised and... sad that she had asked. He closed his eyes and sighed, shoving his hands in his pockets and looking away. “I was afraid you might ask that eventually. Because... I really don’t have a good answer for you...”

Fluttershy’s voice caught, but Spike continued before she could come up with a reply. “It’s not that I don’t like you, that’s not it at all. The problem is... Well, the problem is that I do. A lot. I... Ah, Fluttershy, I want nothing more than to be able to... to be with you... But that’s just the problem.”

Fluttershy’s spirits lifted, but didn’t get too high with Spike speaking in such sad tones. All she could think to do was to ask “Why?”

“We’re practically from different worlds, Fluttershy. Not just in terms of countries, but of life as a whole. I’m five-hundred years old for pete’s sake, and you’re only eighteen. Even if we ignored the facts of how strange that would look, I age way slower than Equestrians. I would barely look any different fifty years from now, and you would age on ahead regardless...”

Spike lapsed into silence, but a thought sprung into Fluttershy’s mind before he had even finished. It was more of an opinion, really, and not a very nice one, but for the first time in her life, Fluttershy couldn’t stop herself from speaking her mind. “Spike... I’m sorry, but... That’s kind of selfish of you.”

Spike turned to her, and she was surprised to see tears in his eyes. She wished she hadn’t said anything, but knew deep down that it had to be said. “Fluttershy... It’s not like that. I’m doing this for you, not me. I just want you to be happy, believe me, but... It really would be better if you were with someone of your own kind. It might seem like we could overcome, but... I don’t want people looking at you strangely for being with me.”

“Spike... I wouldn’t... I wouldn’t care.” All of a sudden, all the doubts she had had were thrown aside. She knew she was loosing, and had to change strategy quick if she wanted to win. “I... I’ve never cared, what other people think of me. You can’t let that kind of thing get to you... I’ve always done what I knew in my heart was right... And just turned the other cheek to people who say bad things about it. Spike, I... I just want to be with you.”

Fluttershy had moved forward slowly as she spoke, and now put a gentle hand on Spike’s shoulder. A sad but hopeful smile was on her face, but Spike only looked at the ground. After a painful silence, he cleared away the tears in his eyes and looked up at her. The two gazed into each others eyes, green and violet, for another long moment... and they kissed. There wasn’t much energy in it- both barely moved- but it felt right. It was such a simple gesture, yet it spoke levels.

The kiss lasted for several seconds, then the two separated slowly. Spikes eyes were closed, and he smiled fondly... then he seemed to come back to himself. He half-sighed in anger at himself and punched the wall of the gate in frustration. “Agh, dammit... Fluttershy, we can’t do this. It doesn’t matter how much either of us wants to, we just can’t! Just... forget that just happened. Please, just... don’t get hung up about me.”

Fluttershy wanted to say more, but no words came to her. Spike walked away slowly and put his hand on the gate, then stopped. “I’m... I’m sorry. Really. I wish things could have been different... But it just wouldn’t work.... I’m truly sorry.” With that, he left for home, leaving Fluttershy feeling more alone than ever before.