This story is a sequel to Where Shining Fall the Years
Cloudsdale state, encircled by the eponymous mountains, home of the Vingols and the Stormings, the Children of the Storm. Provider of countless Royal Guards to the rest of the kingdom, with an environment necessitating early development of survival skills, and where a teenager untrained in riding a horse is viewed as strange, Cloudsdale is both home to the Children of the Storm and well-prepared to meet their parent.
And this is good, for their parent comes to meet it.
Continuity: The Song of the Spheres
Branch: The Children of the Storm
Chapters (6)
The idea of an entire state in this day and age that is inaccessible by motor vehicles feels somewhere between bizarre and outright absurd. Of course, I'm on the wrong end of the country to know what the Rockies do to interstates, so there's that.
That's the key. With some schools of thought, one of the most damning ways you can press them is by forcing them to clearly define their terms. Who are you condemning? How will you fix things? What will it cost?
Hopefully Fluttershy gave this fellow something to think about. Eagerly looking forward to seeing this mission as it unfolds.
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Yeah, it is extremely contrived.
Curse you, personal inability to not see Cloudsdale as a horse riding culture!
Yes. Actually forcing schools of thought to define their ideas and follow them to their logical conclusion is a great way to separate the good ideas from the not-so-good ones. Hopefully the mission (and my writing of it) unfolds better than Starlight's ideas did!
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See also, how to drive your parents and teachers to distraction in ten words or less. If only it worked that well on anti-vaxxers...
I like your songs/poems for the most part, but the meter is a bit inconsistent and it's throwing me off. Speaking of which:
Was this an intentional reference to the hymn Stabat Mater Dolorosa?
I'll take "Obvious Tolkien References" for $200, Alex.
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That's right, rhyme scheme and beats per line aren't the only important qualities of a song/poem. Excuse me while I find a pillow to scream into.
As was the ending. Glad to see you caught it!
* + $200 to Eroraf86's bank account *
Sure it will.
Why would they need all that?
Thank you, AJ.
He does kinda have a point.
Fluttershy, you better either know karate or have pepper spray.
What is he talking about?
She better not be talking about rarity.
That’s true.
This man spitting facts.
Damn.
Why is morkhest angry?
Is she basically saying that a begged would see him as an elite?
What’s up with him?
What is that supposed to mean?
Why?
Castellot?
Those are a lot of houses.
What parts is she not proud of?
Did she say that?
Why is she lying?
What?
Platinum? Why?
What does that mean?
How the f*ck are you gonna drop that bomb and then give no context?
You suck at sneaking, AJ.
You’re gonna have to give up on that sooner or later.
Why?
Cloudsdale's Artax Memorial Airport would agree.
(Also, add air travel to the list of viable alternatives to horses.)
Well, it's House Flutter's land at the moment. Darn place has a tendency to change hands.
Fascinating look at Cloudsdale culture. It really does feel like these three have ridden into an entirely different genre... which, again, isn't doing the best job of meshing with the urban fantasy "Americanada" feel one gets from the source material. I'm still enjoying this, don't get me wrong, but this particular world building marks a sharp pivot from my expectations.
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Thank you for your vigilance and advice. I'll try to
hand-wave awayexplain why this wasn't an option later on.Yeah, to be honest I pretty sharply diverge from canon a lot of the time; Genericanada isn't that interesting to me, while worldbuilding is a bit of an
obsessioninterest of mine. Genericanadan trappings might be helpful for giving at least some readers a point of reference (high school, the economic structure, some governmental functions), but I like to include something more creative underneath those trappings. I simply hope that, even when I part from the source material, I still manage to capture some part of its magic.Heh. Now I really want to include a reference to this in House Flutter's history.
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Because the houses guarding the Spear Gate have at least 2800 soldiers between them, and it's an open question whether their numbers will stand with them or the governor. A monopoly on force is a critical part of government, one that Cloudsdale's governor lacks.
The capitol.
Indeed. There are twelve in total, and that's just the great houses. The nobility is not diminished in Cloudsdale as it has been in our world.
The militarism, for one.
Not exactly, but she did point out how Private Pansy wasn't a coward for avoiding battle when she could. Rainbow simply made a reasonable deduction based off of that.
We shall have to see what answers she gives.
Apologies, what part did I write unclearly?
Just like that, apparently.
She really does.
Does she, though?
Like she said, they'd already been seen, and doing this might give them quicker access to what they seek, information.
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We shall have to see.
To guide and ride the horses.
Yes, thank you very much, AJ.
He does, as well as some areas where he misses the point.
Oh, don't worry, she can take care of herself.
Mechanized farming, where it's more the equipment that works the land than the farmers themselves.
Why not? It seems like a compliment.
"I do not love the bright sword for its sharpness, nor the arrow for its swiftness, nor the warrior for his glory. I love only that which they defend." Faramir, the Two Towers.
As well as some misunderstandings, but yes, many important facts.
Yes. As the YouTube group Clamavi de Profundis sang in Boic Bravesoul, wealth is meant to serve people, not the other way around. If you forget that, then you become both a tyrant, strangling those under you for a few small coins, as well as a slave, helpless before the false idol of gold. Those the shopkeeper is describing are thus both objects of righteous anger and pity, monstrous and pathetic in equal measure.
Sorry, I meant that the shopkeeper's actions were angry. I'll try to rewrite it so it's clearer.
Yes. This is where Starlight's ideas really break down; everyone sees the elite differently, making her campaign of revolution against them meaningless. She would have the people rebel against an ill-defined idea, against an enemy so nebulous anyone could be considered one. There is no real objective enemy she's fighting against; 'the elite' is smoke, a term so subjective it is almost meaningless.
He's clearly disturbed by Fluttershy's point, though whether because he disagrees with them or they're causing him to question his own views is unknown.
The shopkeeper's saying that, wherever Fluttershy and the others are going, it's almost certainly not happy, or at least it won't be when they arrive and start stirring up trouble.
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What points did he miss?
Hopefully she does.
It sounds like a compliment, but I keep imagining rarity fainting if mud gets on her.
Not bad of a quote.
What misunderstandings?
Wow, I may have to check YouTube for that.
And that’s a bad thing, right?
I guess that makes sense.
Are they going to stir up trouble?
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Namely that, just because he's tired of how outsiders treat him, his hostile behavior towards AJ remains unexcused. He's livid at others for treating him wrongly, but treats AJ wrongly in turn. His personal grudges have almost blinded him in terms of empathy, something Fluttershy pointed out in her question regarding the elite (her questioning revealed that he was having trouble imagining how people other than him might view a situation, demonstrating a lack of empathy in the sense of not understanding other's perspectives).
Oh, don't worry, she does. And, even if something gets to be too much for her, she has her friends to help! And Mr. Magpie can call in his friends, too! (My, he has a lot of them!) Did you know that some of her bird friends are film enthusiasts? They especially like the works of Alfred Hitchup; namely, The Birds. And, what's this? Someone's bullying Fluttershy, the Carer, the giver of bread and toast? This shall not stand...and neither shall the bully, once Fluttershy's bird friends are done with their reenactment.
She also selflessly cut off her tail to help Stephen Magnet in the pilot. She can be dainty a lot of the time, but when the chips are down there's a streak of steel through her. Think of Merry from the Lord of the Rings; worried about creature comforts near the start of the journey, when the stakes were lower, but when it came down to the wire he helped slay one of the greatest terrors Middle-Earth had ever known.
Indeed. Faramir provides some wonderful anti-war commentary.
Has Starlight actually managed to provide definitive proof of malicious oppression on the part of the elite? Has the shopkeeper? While he may rail against visitors (read: outsiders) and have some valid points, the fact is most of his complaints are explainable by stupidity or ignorance, not malice. He's creating a conspiracy and enemies where there's just ignorance, imperfection, and stupidity.
Yes, their stuff is amazing.
Starlight effectively has the power to define any group of people as 'the elite' due to the nebulousness of the phrase, making her able to declare anyone an 'enemy of the people' and give the accusation at least a shred of credibility. This is extremely bad; if she gains power, she can define any political opponents as 'the elite,' forcing the entire political establishment to make a choice; support her or face the wrath of the revolution.
Are they going to stir up trouble? Perhaps. Even if they don't, though, trouble has a history of stirring itself up around them.
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I guess that might be true.
Was that meant to be a reference to something? Because, I didn’t understand most of it.
Wasn’t that pony rarity? Also, I don’t know much about lord of the rings, sorry.
Really?
And that’s the misunderstanding?
Really? What stuff do they do?
But, wouldn’t some some see her as an elite?
Ok, that i can probably agree with.
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Sorry for the strange metaphors. Basically, I meant that Fluttershy can defend herself, and, even if something gets to be too much for her to handle alone, she has her friends, including her animals. If you hurt her, her animal friends, including all the birds she feeds (and all the birds they know), will make you regret it, possibly in the style of Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds.
Yes it was pony Rarity, but I don't doubt that human Rarity would be willing to do the same. Also, it's okay that you don't know that much about the Lord of the Rings; your interests are your own, you have the right to choose what they are (though I would highly recommend giving the books a try).
Oh, yes. Boromir may be the more famous (and memed) brother, but Faramir IMO is the better one; he recognizes that war needs to be viewed as a means, not an end, and a dangerous thing, not simply a method of gaining glory. The quote "War will make corpses of us all" appears to be an invention of the movies, but thematically it fits very well with Faramir's character. More importantly, he doesn't just say "No" to war, he gives a reason to say "Yes" to peace, demonstrating that peace is constructive, not simply the absence of war.
Yes.
A lot of narrative songs, as well as covers of songs from The Lord of the Rings and the Silmarillion. Personally, although it is a tragic tale, I love their cover of the greatest rap battle in Middle-Earth's history, and would recommend watching it to get a taste of their style.
Perhaps, right before she calls them an elite and unleashes the revolution on them. So long as she keeps her revolutionaries happy with her rule, she'll basically be able to rule like a tyrant, winning acceptance either through genuine support or brute force.
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How bad is it’s militarism?
I think nearly everything was unclear.
Yeah, because if she doesn’t kill them, then they might kill her.
Then, why were they sneaking?
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Oh ok.
I guess that may make sense. And I honestly might think about it.
I honestly don’t know what some of that means.
I may have to check that out.
But, wouldn’t some fight back?
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Excellent. Hope you enjoy them, should you decide to!
War is not the default state of society, with peace simply occurring whenever war exhausts; peace is its own thing, as worthy of desire as other things like food or good company or love. Faramir's anti-war message is rooted in more than just saying "No" to war, it's rooted in recognizing the good things that occur in peace, in recognizing that peace is just as meaningful as the war too many think it's simply the lack of. Or, as Twilight might say, he recognizes that friendship is magic, not simply a lack of conflict with others.
Some of them might fight back, yes, and promptly be crushed by those behind Starlight. So long as Starlight manages to keep her core of revolutionaries satisfied and supportive of her, she will be able to threaten her opponents in the way I've described.
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Pretty bad. It's a very strong warrior culture, for good (it will be able to respond to threats better than the likes of Crystal City) and for ill (treating Fluttershy with disdain).
Apologies. Let me try and break it down:
The song Fluttershy just recited is about the funeral of Commander Hurricane's EG counterpart, who founded five of the great houses of Cloudsdale and was the state's greatest leader.
I'll get more into Lion later, but for now let it suffice that he was another one of Cloudsdale's founders, as was Private Pansy.
The lesson the song taught the Vingols (the main ethnic group in Cloudsdale) is that they should do great deeds, that they might be remembered in song like Hurricane, Lion, and Pansy, and not wait to do them, because death can strike anyone at any time. Basically, YOLO.
But does that mean she has to kill them? Might she be able to subdue them in other ways?
They weren't trying to sneak (avoid detection), they were trying to keep a low profile (avoid unnecessary attention). Sorry if that was unclear.
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Wow. He basically represented mlp before mlp was even created.
So even with magic on their side there’s no way to stop starlight?
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Yikes.
Ohh.
But, how long would subduing them work?
Oh ok. Because, it seemed like they were avoiding people.
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Just great, now I want to try to figure out which LotR characters would work for which Elements of Harmony.
Sorry, I was working under the assumption that it would be other Unmarked or government officials (i.e.; Blue Chip) who fought her. Even without magic, though, there would still be hope to beat her; it just wouldn't be as easy as it might seem.
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So faramir is a LOTR character?
Who’s blue chip?
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Yes.
The economy minister from The Sun in Flight.
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Ohh. So that’s her full name?
10844495
Yep.
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And you said that beating starlight is harder then it seems?
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Harder than it would seem if one viewed her just as a run-of-the-mill political nutcase. The key to beating her is not playing her game; if you treat her as just another political actor, she stands a good chance of winning.
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And what exactly is her game? And how should you treat her?
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We shall have to see.
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Oh ok.
They already showing hostility? They better thank god none of the rainbooms are aggressive.
What would have happened if she said rainbow?
Do we know characters that live in those houses?
Why would she do that?
There’s no way someone isn’t controlling that storm.
That’s one creepy storm.
I’ve seen a lot of bullsh*t in mlp canon and fanfics, but that has to be top 10.
He’s hiding something, isn’t he?
Sometimes.
Landlines? Presumably they had phone service at some point in the twentieth century, to say nothing of TV cable. Physical media can do wonders when wireless connections are having issues. And if they laid down fiber optics, so much the better.
Of course, if magic's involved, all bets are off.
And now two of the three have cut you off from the rest of the world in the hour of need you won't admit you're having. How's that working out for you?
(On the other hand, that suspicious, isolationist attitude may be the root of the problem, especially given the equinified storm systems.)
Lovely little debate at the end. Definite false dichotomy at the end; you can absolutely have both personal and interpersonal strength at once. Especially when your entire state isn't transplanted from a fantasy novel and you're actually part of the world. Part of the problem is the Cloudsdalers' perspective and experience... but part is AJ's as well. The girls have been lucky enough to have the option of saving everyone up until now. We'll see how much longer that luck lasts.
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Yep, magic's involved. Nothing's getting in or out except in person.
Yeah, that's one of the main roots of the problem; Cloudsdale's isolation (mountain-caused, socially reinforced) renders them more vulnerable, not less. No one realm can stand alone; the storm comes, and all must either meet it together or fall.
Ha ha, yeah, Cloudsdale does really feel like a splice from a fantasy novel.
Thankfully, magic provides a reasonable (or at least reasonably doubtful) explanation for why it's in that state, and the problems I'm hoping to confront in it are eternal.
Also, you're right, personal vs. interpersonal strength is a false dichotomy, but the way it's being presented here (either focus all your energy on developing yourself or on developing alliances) isn't, and it's all the stupider for that. (Why not divide your energy between both?) The Cloudsdalers' experiences, namely their ability to control what contact they have with the outside world by controlling the few ways through the mountains, have played a big part in this, creating a cultural divide between those inside the Range and those outside it (us vs. them) that makes pursuing friendship harder and leaves them worse off in the long run (perhaps their isolationism is partly to blame for Cloudsdale's decline since Unification). However, you're right that AJ isn't completely right either; friendship doesn't solve everything, and it demands sacrifice, sometimes of the variety the soldier described. Both of them are wrong, and both of them are right, each in different ways, and for friendship to succeed they need to work together to figure out what each of them is right about.
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Not hostility, no; hostility would be riding them down, or demanding they surrender. Defensiveness would be a better word for this, I think.
We shall have to see.
Fleetfloot is the current head of House Swift, while a fireball we all know may show up as House Blaze's representative later.
To show him and the rest of the patrol that she wouldn't automatically doubt them for saying that the problem was being caused by magic.
Oh, yeah. The only question is who.
Indeed.
I thank you for the high ranking, but what, specifically, are you talking about?
There's almost no way he isn't.
“Faithless is he that says farewell when the road darkens,' said Gimli.
'Maybe,' said Elrond, 'but let him not vow to walk in the dark, who has not seen the nightfall.”
-J.R.R. Tolkien
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Really? I’m pretty sure surrounding someone and pointing a staff at them counts as hostility.
Oh, well, I’ve watched a few episodes of mlp, watched some of the movies, read a few comics, and read a lot of fanfics. So that results in a lot of bullsh*t.
What does that mean?
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Surrounding a potential intruder and readying (but still holding back) your weapons seems more defensive to me, preparing for potential hostility but without unduly antagonizing the unknowns.
Sorry, what I meant was what specific part of this story made it onto your list?
Basically, Gimli is saying that it's a show of bad faith to leave someone when things start going badly, but Elrond is saying that those who have only seen things go fairly badly aren't ready, and shouldn't assume themselves to be ready, for when things go really, really badly.
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I guess that may make sense, but it still might provoke a reaction.
Ohh. The part where the ere was no signal. I can’t speak for all the everyone, but if I’m miles away from civilization and there’s no signal, then use one of those staffs to put me out of my misery.
So basically don’t say you’re ready for the worst when you aren’t?
Is she talking about from last chapter? Because, I honestly didn’t understand what they were talking about.
Is that why she was given super strength?
Ok, I’d have to disagree on some of these.
If he’s heard of her shouldn’t her know what she looks like?
Wait what?
So they’re natural?
What does that mean?
Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure that a sign to watch your back.
I’m pretty sure the right word would be big.
Applejack, I know you’re a terrible liar, but you gotta play dumb.
Is there a difference?
Ok, that’s a good point.
I don’t. Can someone explain?
But, why now?
But, what was the goal?
So the original Rainbow Dash is basically Horatius?
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Yep.
Ah. Very interesting mythological roots for Rainbow Dash. Leads to the question of how that may carry over to Equestria.
I didn't realize Starlight's middle name was Blucher.
When and how did "elite" became such a negative term, anyway? And that applies as much to this world as that one.
Smooth as Velcro.
Oh, AJ...
This is why all six Elements are needed. Any virtue in excess becomes a vice, and Honesty is no exception. This is going to be awkward at best. Here's hoping her friends can find in themselves to forgive themselves. And that she thinks to apologize for tearing off the mask. We'll see what happens from here.
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Yeah. I don't know why, but something about the idea of there being so many Rainbow Dashes throughout history because it's a title, not a real name, greatly appeals to me. (Also, why does the idea of Pinkie Pie being similar, except more like JoJo from JoJo's Bizarre Adventure [a family whose names can be consistently reduced to a certain form], crack me up?)
I'm sorry, I don't understand that reference. It sounds like it would incredibly funny if I knew it, would you mind telling me what it is?
I don't know for certain in this world, but my guess would be sometime after the American Revolution, possibly the Second Great Awakening (with its anti-intellectual bent). Stigmatizing 'elite' is basically democracy taken too far, trying to level the playing field by destroying those who get too far ahead as opposed to helping those who fall behind (reduction of positive outliers as opposed to enhancement of negative outliers). In Homestria, there's always been an undercurrent of it through society (the typical dislike of those who seem to have more), but Starlight's movement has really been the crystallizer for this wider, more deliberate stigmatization of 'elite.' She didn't create the impulse, but she did harness it and dramatically strengthen it, much like Trump harnessed and strengthened his base in 2016.
Or sandpaper.
Very good point about an excess of virtue, even non-Elemental ones. Yes, things are going to be super-awkward if Platinum ever tells her friends, and after AJ comes back. Here's hoping awkwardness doesn't manage to stop them from resolving this!
I hope enough people in positions of local power can recognize that.
And yeah, AJ's hypocrisy is pretty darn plain to see. Folks have their reasons, Jackie, and sometimes you need to respect that. As opposed to going around behind their back for intel.
This is amusing to me for reasons that are best explained through a hyperlink.
And yeah, even an oath enforced by friendship magic won't quiet all doubts. But trust isn't the absence of all doubt. It's standing by someone even in the face of it. Applejack and Platinum have both learned a valuable lesson here. (Fluttershy, meanwhile, was never in the wrong.
)
I will say that the tonal contrast before and after the oath is very sharp, and a microcosm of my issues with the story as a whole. But in both cases, it's not a dealbreaker. It's just disorienting at times.
As for the Blucher joke, see here. (It may help to know that Blücher is German for "glue.")
She does have a point.
Technically, she didn’t use him. Everything else he said was true.
Fluttershy, you’re not in this.
I’ll be honest, I wouldn’t know if I could swear that.
If I was apple I wouldn’t worry about that.
Do I see some foreshadowing?
Well, that could have gone worse. At least they worked it out.
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Surprisingly
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Both in this and the real world.
The grand design is unmasked.
Yes across the board.
After reading this comment, yeah, I realized I have a bit of a problem with too-frequent tonal shifts.
Any advice for avoiding that?
Oh, my. The worst part is I can't say that reading's wrong for Starlight; as she is in my head (and hopefully when I introduce her, which I hope to do soon), the ends justify the means for her, so if she needs glue and someone can be turned into glue...
IMO, this should also be the core of a heroic Starlight; the constant tension between her goals and her methods of accomplishing them. Her town had harmony, of a sort, but did that justify what she did to enforce it? She could solve several friendship problems with a wave of her horn (and a mind control spell): does that mean she should? This is what I dream a more confident, ambiguously heroic Starlight would be like:
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Yes, she does. And, just like countless others, both fictional and real, she goes too far beyond it and draws the wrong conclusion.
She did use him, though; he didn't know that Platinum wanted AJ not to ask about her past, so AJ tried to pump him for information. She used his lack of knowledge just as Platinum and Fluttershy tried to use her's.
But Platinum is, and where Platinum is Fluttershy goes.
It does seem like a daunting challenge, yes.
We shall see if you keep that opinion as time goes on.
Perhaps. I do not, though, but many times has my work defied my expectations. Maybe it shall again.