Chapter 2: Exercise Failures
Twilight was already beginning to question her sanity, and Dash’s games hadn’t even started yet. Along with her new tortoise friend, Twilight and the rest of the flying animals that Dash had singled out to possibly become her pet were soon led away from the main streets of Ponyville to the training field where she and Applejack always enjoyed competing against each other. Twilight was trying to keep her head held high and stay proud to the lesson that she was trying to teach Rainbow Dash, which she sure Princess Celestia would be very proud of her for doing, but Dash wasn’t making it easy on the unicorn.
“So, would-be pet Twilight, how do you think you’re gonna do?” Rainbow Dash asked, personally flying alongside Twilight to further mock and torture her, “I’ll give you a fighting chance and say that you’ll make it halfway through…the first game. Actually…nah, halfway through seems more fitting for the turtle; for you, I’ll say more like a quarter of the way through.”
“He’s a tortoise…and ha-ha, very funny, Dash,” Twilight frowned, giving the Pegasus a piece of her mind while she still had the chance, “You just wait; I’m gonna surprise you. I’m gonna win your silly games and make you eat your mocking words. You’ll see just how foolish you’re being and you’ll go back to Fluttershy’s place to pick a PROPER pet. Even this tortoise seems to like you more than those flying animals do, but you haven’t even paid him any mind!”
Rainbow Dash glanced down at the tortoise that was barely keeping up with the group. In fact, to make sure he got to Dash’s games in time to compete, Twilight had cast a spell on him to levitate him along so he didn’t have to walk. When Twilight talked about him, he very slowly glanced up at Rainbow Dash and seemed to give her a weak smile. The smile took almost five seconds to actually form, at which point Dash slapped her forehead and rolled her eyes in exasperation.
“Man, this is REALLY gonna be embarrassing,” she chuckled, playfully flying over Twilight’s head to inflict more torture on her, “Just so you know, Twilight, you’re still my friend. Therefore, when you want to quit…you only have to bow to me and admit that you were nowhere near qualified to ever become my pet before you can leave. I was gonna make you give me a dorky speech on why I’m awesome, but since you’re my friend, I’ll let that slide. So, when you’re gonna quit…”
“I’m not gonna quit, Dash,” Twilight said calmly, “I don’t care what the challenge is, if those flying animals are gonna go through it just to prove they’re the best, then I can endure any level of pain as well. You just stand back and watch me.”
“Okay then…but, if you want to be treated like an animal, that’s exactly how I’m GONNA treat you,” Dash warned, reaching down and giving Twilight a little noogie with her hoof, “If you’re seriously gonna stick around to try and make a silly point, be my guest. But don’t expect any special treatment just because you’re a pony who happens to be Princess Celestia’s star pupil. Out here, baby, it’s all about survival and seeing just who the best is. The weak will fall and the strong will rise. You’ll learn that soon enough, Twilight.”
“We’ll just see who learns what, Rainbow,” Twilight concluded, trying to slap Dash’s hoof away and failing when the Pegasus simply continued to fly circles around her head.
Deep down, Twilight was already starting to have doubts about what she was doing. Sure, she was stubborn and would never quit after she stepped her hoof into the fire, but as she learned with Pinkie, sometimes she just couldn’t win. What was in store for her? Surely Rainbow Dash wasn’t going to REALLY humiliate her, right? No way would her Pegasus friend do that. Dash was simply using so much bravado just to look cool in front of her. In fact, Rainbow Dash always tried to look cool in front of Twilight. The more she thought about it, the more the lavender mare began to question it.
Why does Dash have to work so hard just to try and make herself look so amazing? Twilight wondered, frowning and glancing down at the ground as she trotted along, Didn’t Dash learn when Trixie was here that there’s no reason to show off in front of your peers? It doesn’t matter who or what she is; she’s my friend and that’s all that matters. It’s just like her picking a pet. Who cares which flying animal is the flashiest, coolest, fastest, or…most radical? Dash…why do you try so hard? Do you fear rejection? Do you fear failure? Do you…crave acceptance?
Twilight Sparkle eyed Rainbow Dash while they grew closer to the gaming grounds. The blue Pegasus was still wearing her whistle, her sports cap, and her black sunglasses, and didn’t seem to be lost in thought at all. She seemed so focused on her games and what was gonna transpire that she didn’t really care about anything else. The same smug, confident smile was always plastered to her face. Twilight wondered where her confidence came from. Was it because she was such a fast flyer? Because she could make a Sonic Rainboom? Because she was so popular?
Silly Twilight…ah, this is gonna be so much fun, Rainbow Dash thought, bobbing her head up and down as she envisioned herself listening to a hard rock song, I kinda feel bad at how pathetic she’s gonna look at these games. Why is she trying so hard anyway? Why does she care what kind of pet I have? It’s not like it’s gonna be living with her or anything. Why is she going through all this trouble? Probably because she’s just an egghead who loves to do tests and stuff. Heh, well, if it’s a test she wants to find out what it’s like to be the pet of the famous Rainbow Dash, she’s got it!
Upon reaching the gaming grounds, Twilight set the tortoise down and cast a look around the area. She had heard about Applejack and Rainbow Dash’s games they enjoyed playing here, but she had never actually envisioned that she herself would be participating in such games one day. The unicorn sighed when she saw a racing track and an obstacle course being admired and pinpointed by Rainbow Dash, knowing that those would obviously be games that she was soon gonna have to compete in. Even though she was dreading this, the feeling of wanting to make Dash succumb to her errors and become a humble Pegasus loomed brightly in her mind, and most of Twilight’s fear vanished for the moment.
Twilight glanced over at the flying animals that had tagged along for these ridiculous challenges. The falcon and the eagle both looked fiercely competitive and ready to show off their prowess. The bat seemed to be laughing while looking in Twilight’s direction. The owl, butterfly and hummingbird were all testing their wings and doing mini tricks in the air to prepare themselves. The pink flamingo seemed to be meditating while standing on one leg. The tortoise hadn’t moved from Twilight’s side and was staring up at her with a confused expression.
“Don’t worry, little guy,” Twilight chuckled, gently patting the animal on the head and realizing that she should be stretching and getting ready, too, “All those flying animals may have wings, but Dash will see the true heart of a champion before long. But, in the meantime…we probably SHOULD try stretching a bit…since I think this is gonna be a very tough test.”
Not really used to doing strenuous exercise, Twilight Sparkle didn’t really know what to do. Sure, she had studied a book here and there about how to stay in shape and not become fat, but she didn’t pay much attention to them; she already ate healthy and got plenty of exercise walking around her library every day going back and forth between new books. She really wasn’t too experienced in the art of sports, either. She HAD studied for the Running Of The Leaves event, but she had already seen it coming and therefore was more prepared. What she had gotten herself into right now left her no time to prepare and no chance to get better acquainted with Pegasi and competitive sports. She was gonna have to wing it.
While the tortoise awkwardly tried to stretch out his four tiny legs, which promptly resulted in him tumbling over and rolling onto his shelled backside, Twilight racked her brain for information on the body and what parts should be worked out before involving oneself in strenuous exercise that was possibly gonna end up in humiliation. Since she didn’t have wings, Twilight figured that her legs were probably the most important aspect to get worked out. Muttering to herself about physical incapacities and other random things, Twilight sat down on her rump and stuck her hind legs out in front of her.
“Okay, time to stretch these babies out!” she smiled, trying to psyche herself up, “I’ve seen Applejack do this plenty of times; this should be a cinch. So, I just sit with my back up straight…keep my hind legs stretched out as far as I can without bending up at my knees…and then I reach out with my forelegs and try to touch my hooves!” The unicorn took a deep breath, narrowed her eyes and locked in on her hooves on her hind legs, then began to reach out to touch them. She didn’t get very far.
Almost immediately, Twilight gasped in pain and reached under both of her hind legs to soothe the irritation that had arisen almost at once when she began to stretch. Was the pain in her calves? Another part of her hind legs? And why was her upper back hurting, too? She really needed to get a book and study up on this. To top off Twilight’s first time stretching out her hind legs, she had barely reached out even halfway down before the searing pain kicked in. The nearby tortoise was still struggling to get back onto his feet after all this time.
“Ya know, Twilight, you might want to try actually doing the workout RIGHT,” Rainbow Dash smirked, flapping over a moment later and teasing the unicorn, “What’s wrong? Not flexible enough?”
“Shut it, Dash,” Twilight grumbled, continuing to try and touch her hooves but failing drastically, “Ow! Is this SUPPOSED to hurt so badly?”
“That means it’s working, Twi,” Dash giggled, gently landing behind Twilight, “Here, let me help you…but just on your first one. I can’t do EVERYTHING for you.” The Pegasus gently propped herself up and placed her front hooves on Twilight’s upper back. She then softly eased Twilight forward, using her strength to help the unicorn inch forward to touch her hooves. Twilight winced, since the pain was still festering on her calves, but she found Dash’s help to really work.
“Ah…thanks, Dash…although I could’ve done this myself,” Twilight mused, giving a weak smile as she finally was able to touch her hooves without bending her knees up, “Yes! I did it! I completed an exercise assignment that I had never tried before!”
“WITH my help,” Rainbow snickered, leaning in a bit more to make sure Twilight stretched out as far as her body would allow, “I’m just doing this to make sure you don’t make a COMPLETE foal of yourself during my games. It just wouldn’t seem very sporty to let you humiliate yourself before letting you stretch out your body a bit first.”
“Humph…” Twilight muttered, rocking back and forth to fully work out the kinks in her calves and back. As Rainbow Dash pressed her body into Twilight’s backside even more, the unicorn felt the Pegasus breathing right at her ear. The warmth of Rainbow’s body could be felt by Twilight simultaneously with the burning going on in her legs, making her give a weak smile. For some reason, feeling Dash’s hooves pressing firmly on her upper back and feeling her body rubbing against her lower back made her feel good. Just the feeling of Rainbow Dash willing to help her so much made Twilight feel happy.
Why are my cheeks burning? Twilight pondered, realizing that her cheeks were turning red the longer that she stretched out, It’s probably this exercise. It’s so strenuous holding this position that it’s making blood rush to my head. Ugh, Dash, let me go already! Hey, wait…is Dash finally showing a little compassion? Ha, maybe she’s starting to come around to what it truly means to have a pet! Maybe she’s actually…
At that moment, Rainbow finally let Twilight go, laughing her head off when the unicorn squeaked and tipped over backwards onto her back. Oddly enough, Twilight had become so relaxed in Dash’s grasp that she had really been failing to push her forelegs at all and was letting Dash do all the work. Since the Pegasus was realizing this, she thought she’d give Twilight a reality check. Now, both the tortoise and Twilight found themselves on their backs and staring up at the giggling blue Pegasus flying overhead.
“Whoops! Aw, my poor would-be pet got too relaxed…sucks to be you, Twi!” Dash cackled, playfully shaking her butt down at Twilight, “You and that turtle have a better chance at winning a sleeping contest than any of my games. Oh, wait, I already own most sleeping contest records, so…you can’t even win at those!”
“Dash…you’re evil, you know that?” Twilight grumbled, weakly helping herself back up and finally using her magic to help the tortoise back up as well, “You purposely got me relaxed and overconfident just so you’d make me fall onto my back, didn’t you?”
“Mayyyyyyyyybe…but, then again, any pet of mine wouldn’t be so lame as to fall for such a trick!” Dash responded, “Plus, my pet would surely be able to hold that position WITHOUT my help. Now, why don’t you try doing some pushups and sit-ups instead? Surely even an egghead like you could do THOSE.”
Pushups and sit-ups? Twilight thought, racking her brain again for the proper information, Let me see now…oh, right! Pushups are where you push yourself up and down using only your forelegs, and sit-ups are where you lay on your back while using only your lower back to lift yourself up and down. Okay, Dash, you wanna see some pushups and sit-ups? Prepare to be stupefied!
The tortoise, listening to every word that Rainbow was saying, attempted to do some pushups as well. He stood up straight on his four small legs and glanced down at the ground. Very slowly, he tried to lower himself down using mainly his front legs, but they began to wobble almost immediately and before even moving an inch, the tortoise slammed down hard on his belly. To make matters worse, when he struggled a bit and tried to get back up, he ended up rolling right onto his shell yet again. Rainbow could only watch in both amusement and disgust.
After watching the tortoise’s horrible demonstration of how NOT to do a pushup, Twilight gulped and slowly got into position herself. The purple unicorn stretched her body out on all four legs and made sure that she had a sturdy foundation. Knowing that Dash was watching her closely, Twilight really wanted to perform well. Despite not even playing in a single game yet, Twilight didn’t want to get egg on her face so early in her lesson she was attempting to teach Dash. Plus, glancing over at the flying animals, Twilight was dismayed to see that even THEY were doing pushups and sit-ups without any trouble at all. How they were able to do such exercises, Twilight was clueless; she would have to ask Fluttershy about that later.
Okay, Twilight, let’s do some pushups! the unicorn said to herself, shaking her rump back and forth and getting ready to do her first one, Rainbow is still watching, so I can’t let her down! Um…wait, why do I care about what she thinks? I’m not doing this to win her approval; I’m doing this to prove a point! Ugh…well, whatever. Now, just focus your energy in your upper body and use your forelegs to push yourself up and down while getting as low to the ground as possible. You can do this, Twilight.
Her tail twitching with excitement at doing a pushup, Twilight took a deep breath and held it while she gently lowered the front half of her body towards the ground. She kept her hooves planted firmly into the ground and, despite her slight trembling at being watched by Rainbow Dash, the unicorn continued to push herself even lower. Since her legs weren’t that strong, she was already feeling the burn once again. However, something didn’t feel quite right; it was almost like she was forgetting to do something. When she managed to push herself so far that her chin was only an inch away from the ground, she gave a weak grin of satisfaction.
“Okay…this isn’t so bad…now, I just need to push myself back up and do a few more before I…” Twilight began, but upon hearing Rainbow’s sudden cackles of glee from up above, the unicorn frowned and raised her eyes to see what Dash was mocking her for THIS time.
“Hey…Twi?” Rainbow grinned, flapping her wings and hovering behind the unicorn, “You DO know that, when you do a pushup, you have to lower ALL your legs, right? Unless, of course, you enjoy mooning those who happen to be behind you.” It took Twilight a moment to realize what Dash was saying, and when it came to her, a deep blush broke out across her muzzle. She had completely forgotten to lower her hind legs, and since she had lowered herself so much, her butt was sticking right up in the air for all to see. Dash, of course, was getting a thrill out of this.
Emitting a little “eep” of embarrassment, Twilight tried to cover up her risen rump with her tail, but in doing so lost her balance and painfully splatted down right on her face into the dirt. She didn’t complete a single pushup, and now to add to her misery, she had some dirt in her eyes and nose and a laughing Pegasus flapping around over her head. Next to her, the tortoise was still struggling miserably on his own backside, and he seemed to be giving Twilight a look of pity, as though he had been there many, many times before.
“BWAHAHAHAHAHA…TWI, YOU’RE SUCH A DORK!” Dash laughed, once again going into hysterics as she landed on Twilight’s back and playfully gave her a noogie, “Aww, my poor little would-be pet isn’t very athletic OR fit…not really looking good for your chances at ‘teaching me a lesson’ or whatever it is you’re doing. This is also making me seriously humiliated at losing to you at the Running Of The Leaves, too.”
“Urge to maim…rising,” Twilight growled, pushing herself up and spitting out bits of dirt and rock from her mouth, “Hey, that was my first time doing a pushup, okay? Cut me some slack! And you know you could’ve told me that I had my posterior sticking up in the air a bit SOONER! That would’ve been really helpful, Dash.”
“Is that complaining I’m hearing?” Rainbow asked, mockingly holding a hoof up to her ear and giving Twilight a smug look, “If so, just say ‘I quit’ and this will all go away.”
“Not…gonna…happen,” Twilight sniffed, once again using her magic to put the tortoise right-side up, “If those flying creatures can somehow do exercises, then so can I! Now, watch as I do some sit-ups! You ready, little guy?” She gave the tortoise a warm smile, since he was basically the only one not mocking her or teasing her by this point; the birds and other flying critters couldn’t help but laugh in their own voices after watching Twilight’s shortcomings.
Okay…I had to have Dash help me touch my hooves…and then she humiliated me, Twilight thought, slowly laying down onto her back and staring up at the sky, Then, I tried to do a pushup, but I left a certain private area of my body up in the air and was once again humiliated. Okay, fine, I can live with that. I can feel my body all warmed up anyway; a few easy sit-ups will be a cinch. I’ve even seen foals do these, so there’s no way I’ll fail THIS time.
Next to her, the tortoise once more flew onto his shelled back when he attempted to do a sit-up, resulting in more laughter and screeching from the flying critters and earning him a disapproving shake of the head from Rainbow Dash. Determined to actually get some REAL work in to properly get her body warmed up for the games, Twilight tried to remember the proper way to do a sit-up. Did she cross her forelegs across her chest? Did she bend her knees? She couldn’t really remember, so she decided to combine both ways. The purple unicorn neatly crossed her arms across her upper chest, bent her hind legs up into perfect triangles, and took another deep breath.
“Okay, Twilight, generate air through your nose and push up with your upper chest muscles,” Twilight whispered out loud, “Do not move your hind legs and try to touch your arms to your knees…let’s do it!” The unicorn let out a snarl and she grit her teeth before pushing up with all her might. Almost instantly, she squeaked and ended up hitting her head right back onto the ground.
As Rainbow Dash gave herself a face-hoof, Twilight Sparkle struggled to do one sit-up. She pushed with all her might, trying not to move her hind legs, but she just couldn’t lift anything other than her head up into the air. Then, she began to violently thrash and attempt to use whatever means possible to lift herself up, which included flailing her legs and arms around and screaming her head off. Unfortunately, spending so much time in the library probably wasn’t the best way of staying in shape, as Twilight was now learning. After five minutes of constant straining, pushing, gasping, screaming, whimpering and complaining, Twilight eventually stretched out all four of her limbs and lay twitching on the ground without having completed a single sit-up.
“Twi…that was…well, to say it nicely…pathetic,” Dash sighed, flying over Twilight’s face and putting her hooves on her hips, “I haven’t even started the games yet and you didn’t even properly complete a single exercise regimen. Yeah…this is EXACTLY what I want in a pet. No, you’re absolutely right; I should just pick ANY pathetic pet out there and be happy with it. Right…you sure you don’t want to drop out right now? As much as I’m enjoying this, I really don’t want you to get even more humiliated.”
“Rainbow…this…isn’t about that!” Twilight wheezed, her chest heaving up and down as she slowly rolled over onto her stomach to push herself up properly, “Even…the weakest of animals…have hearts inside of them. The heart…is stronger than anything else. Which would you rather have? An animal who hates you, but can do everything you imagine? Or an animal who loves you, but doesn’t live up to your standards? Really…which one is the right choice?”
Rainbow Dash was silent for a moment, her wings flapping peacefully behind her back while she stared down at the sweaty purple mare in front of her. Twilight did make a good point, but again, Dash always came back to the same exact question: Why did SHE care? This was Dash’s life, not hers. Why did Twilight care so much about what she decided to do? Was it so wrong wanting standards for a pet? It was the same in picking out someone to be your mate, right? It was the same in almost every aspect of life; we always had standards and this was no different. Twilight was just jealous of her skills, that’s all.
What an egghead…always trying to use that fancy talking on me…well, it ain’t gonna work, Dash yawned, rolling her eyes as she glanced at the struggling tortoise next to the unicorn, Just look at the two of them…it’s so sad. These flying animals behind me are so totally cool…one of them is gonna be my pet in the end. Twilight and this turtle dude…I still don’t see what they’re trying to prove. But, if they’re not gonna quit, it’s their loss. Their dignity apparently isn’t worth much to them.
Flying down, Dash held out a hoof to help Twilight up onto all fours. Despite not wanting to look any weaker than she already did, Twilight grudgingly accepted the help and allowed herself to be pulled up onto her four hooves. She then, yet again, used her magic to help her tortoise friend off his back for possibly the fifth time or so. As Twilight gave a few words of encouragement to the tortoise, Rainbow Dash took a harder look at the purple mare. She had failed to do any exercise properly, but she was still sweaty and her mane was already getting frazzled.
Heh…just look at her…she is SO out of her element, Dash thought to herself, admiring Twilight, If she only saw herself in a mirror right now…ha, so priceless. But…wow…with her mane all tussled and her body sweaty like that…it looks like she’s just been through one of AJ’s rodeo lessons. She looks like me after a good workout…only the “workout” part usually means a bit more than some failed exercises. Hmm…why is she trying so hard…just for me? Ugh, stupid Twilight…already messing with my head.
“Uh…Dash? You’re free to let go of my hoof now,” Twilight said, breaking Dash’s thoughts a second later. Blinking, Rainbow glanced down to see that she still had her own cyan right hoof locked with Twilight’s purple one, not to mention she was slightly squeezing. With a slight squeak of surprise, Dash shook off her friend’s hoof and frowned.
“Sorry, Twi, but that’s the last help you get from me!” she snapped, pulling her black sunglasses back down over her eyes as she turned away, “It’s time to get serious; this isn’t a game, you know.”
“Uh, actually, it kinda is…” Twilight began, but Dash ignored her and fluttered back over to the flying creatures that she had her eyes locked upon.
“I’ve wasted enough time playing with Twilight and that turtle, so now it’s time to get to the games!” Dash cheered, listening to the birds and flying animals let out squawks and excited squeaks, “I hope you’re all warmed up and raring to go, because it’s all or nothing now! From this point on, you’re gonna be judged to the harshest level! Only the best will survive…get your game on, competitors!”
Twilight sighed and shook her head as she began to weakly dust her body off. Already she was feeling tired and the games hadn’t even started. Maybe it would be best to just give up. This was so pointless; why tire herself for this? Dash clearly wasn’t going to listen to her. The unicorn was strongly considering just turning around and taking it on the chin before giving up, but something stopped her. Despite looking just as bad, if not worse than she did, the tortoise was slowly making his way over to the flying animals. He wasn’t about to give up, and after casting a curious glance back at Twilight, she realized that she shouldn’t, either. Giving one last aggravated sigh while glancing up at the sky, Twilight Sparkle slowly trotted over to Dash’s group of animals to begin the games, too.
Stats
Page generated in 0.024 seconds
Total duration
1,020 users online
207,269 hits today, 1,996,409 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
I'm honestly suprised it took this long for somebody to make a fic out of that line. We need to pick up the slack people!
Character development. I somehow get the feeling that Twilight is going to fail all the tests so hard.
Please continue this great story!
Also,wouldn't this kinda be a Alternate Universe story?
84934 But when she does fail at a test it's going to be so adorable!
jokercostume.biz/wp-content/uploads/jokers-magic-trick.jpg
Update?
Beat all the games!
i like it, but the way you're writing Dash to be so blatantly the 'bad guy' is sorta grating. It's like you're actively trying to get me to hate Dash here.
That adorable awkwardness. I'm pretty much the same way when it comes to exercise Twilight, so no need to feel bad. Ok?
Excellent. Can't wait for the next part.
MORE!
85022
the word for bad guy i was looking for there was antagonist. i cannot fathom why i couldn't think of that earlier.
i love twi dash fan fic (doesn't matter in a shiping way or just a adventure)
No one else got the Simpsons reference? Ah well.
I have to agree with what's been said here, it feels like Dash is being a bit too harsh. She likes pranks and all, but making her friend bow to her? That's a little further than I think she'd go.
Otherwise, great fic! Keep up the good work!
These stories are awesome but you have to update more
Dammit, now I'm flashing back to years of embarrassingly poor performance in P.E. classes... Oh well, it's still some good content, so I'm happy and waiting to see how well she'll do in the actual contests.
I am so waiting for Twilight to kick Dash's ass.
3.bp.blogspot.com/-jJvTBt6wtvk/TqicVvU-fXI/AAAAAAAAAiM/VOGu_yZHHO0/s1600/Nightwing_Armbar.jpg
But Twilight and Dash make such a cute couple...
I don't at all mind the alternate-canon. In fact, I find it very interesting to take something like that in another direction. Keep up the good work!
My good sir,while I must admit your story has a certain gravitas to it I mustsay that the manner in which miss Rainbow Dash has acted in these games shows very poor sportmanship.
The level of disrespect that she showed made me drop my monocle.
She must be warned that if said behaviour is to continue then we will have no choice but to block Equestria's bid to host the olympic games.
Good day to you sir.
"Whoa…wait, did I just think she was CUTE?"
CELESTIA NO.
Laziest way to introduce romantic inclination in any character--whyfor do you use it? Sometimes I really hate Fanfiction in general for incorrectly making authors think this atrocity is in any way acceptable. PLEASE revise this, I beg of you--your story has the potential of being one of the best TwiDash fics I've read to date, and I'd really hate to have to stop reading it on account of my most hated cliche ever.
85214
Dude, that Whoa…wait, did I just think she was CUTE?, is about one of the most common ways to start a romance. But it's good, deal with it. The author is doing his best.
more please
85214 Okay, okay, sheez. Why must I always listen to my readers? Fine, I changed it slightly. I'm sorry for making Dash think what we ALL would've been thinking at that point with an exhausted Twilight.
This is a really interesting story. On the one hand (hoof) we all know that Dash's motivations for choosing a pet were all geared towards her athleticism, we she acknowledges was wrong at the end of the episode without prodding or lecturing from her friends. That's what made "May the Best Pet Win" a good strong episode. So this makes Twilight's determination to stick her nose in at once unnecessary and even counterproductive. But this is a really fun, even cool concept since it's starting with Dash's views about pets and through Twilight (I think) is going to stretch into Dash's view towards potential romantic partners which is VERY clever. While its debatable if Twilight's presence in the competition is going to be what affects Dash's attitude towards pets, the broader implications make this a very worth while concept. That and the "never qualify to be my pet" was just so adorable it merits its own story in its own right. So I'm going to enjoy reading this and looking for updates.
Oh and finally? Twilight mooning is just so cute and funny!!! She is the queen of adorkable!!
“Urge to maim…rising,”
That's the spirit!
Twilight....you're Best Pony and awesome and all that jazz, but something has to be wrong when you're worse at excersising than I am.
Oh, well. A good update, POST MORE, etc. And yeah, "urge to maim" was my favorite line, too.
85183
Yes, Rainbow Dash can be an unsportsponylike jerk at times. You're just now noticing this?
85410 I know I'll think that she's cute if I saw a exhausted Twilight.
Cool story bro.
Yar doin' good lad!
Would you people please stop complaining about Dash? Sheez! In almost every story I write, the most complaints I get is about how rude, arrogant, pompous or annoying I make Dash. Do you all even watch the series? In almost every scene that contains Rainbow Dash, she's either laughing at something, acting cool and LOOKING cool, cracking a joke or asking a stupid question, playfully mocking Twilight or one of the other girls, getting mad or upset about random things, bragging and trying to show just how awesome she is, or just being an annoying little brat. Believe me, I could make her a LOT worse.
This is how I personally view Dash. She's not the lovable, adorable, sweet little angel that you all think she is. It doesn't matter if it's Twilight or it's Pinkie; she teases them and has fun at their expense. I've SEEN HER act like an ass; I've SEEN HER act like a jerk and like a punk. If you're gonna say something, could you PLEASE say something worthwhile? I'm not gonna change how I write Dash, since I've watched and studied every single episode of the show, I've read a ton of fan-fictions, I've read up on all the characters right down to their smallest personality traits...I KNOW how they act. Plus, this is a situation that we haven't technically seen her in; you don't KNOW how she'd act. I'm doing what I honestly think would happen.
I apologize for possibly sounding mean, but I simply am getting tired of people always whining about how "wrong" I'm writing Dash. "She's acting mean; I want to see her be awesome!" "She's acting too much like an ass!" "Rainbow Dash wouldn't act like an arrogant jerk during games!" I've heard enough of it! If you want to point out any grammar mistakes or stuff like that, then please do. But PLEASE stop pointing out how I write the characters. I bleed MLP now; I LOVE the show. I dream about it day and night. I listen to the songs. Everywhere I go, I see ponies. I'm NOT an idiot; I KNOW who the characters are and I KNOW how they act. If I really wanted to piss you all off, I'd start having Rainbow Dash shove Twilight's face into the mud and then give her a spanking with a paddle while mocking her loudly about what a loser she is. THAT'S out of character; what I'm doing is not.
One last time, please stop whining about how I write my stories. As I said, you're free to give advice and state your opinions all you want; that's your choice and I'm not gonna stop you. I realize that you all have your own personal views of Dash, and I respect that. But, be aware that I do as well. In MY mind, Dash (while being a great character and one that I personally REALLY love) is a very annoying and proud brat, who won't protest to show off and act like an arrogant jackass if she's put into the right situation. She has her nice sides and she's been shown to be emotional and sweet, but overall that's NOT her personality. One more time, when you write a story, you're not writing exactly what the show has already written. Therefore, we can never say with 100% certainty that what we write is how they would react to that situation; it's an educated guess by us, the authors. This is my educated guess on how Dash would react to what Twilight is trying to do, so please stop nagging me. Thank you.
85214
I believe I got yelled at for doing this too.
Made a mental note to never do it again.
87559
Don't worry about it too much, the exact same thing happened all over again during the dash episodes in season 2, it was like everyone was surprised she could be a jerk.
If I have one criticism it would be that you give proper reasoning about why Twilight is competing against the pets later, but initially when she asks to compete against them you write her as being very uncertain, and doubtful. Rather it would be better in my opinion if she was assertive, and had reasoning initially, but is doubtful of this crazy thing she is doing later when she has calmed down.
Also the embarrassment is somewhat overplayed at times.
All in all the characterization of the two is pretty spot on, even if some of their reasoning's don't add up. It'll be interesting to see how Twilight winds up winning the contest; whether she will be the only pony to comeback when Dash is trapped, or Dash just falls for her during the bantering while the contest takes place.
XD esta genial su historia, continué así. Me esta gustando como se va dando el desarrollo de l trama, y que Dash esta empezando a disfrutar de la escena XD
85183 you sound like a kid at ym school I think he's okay but it's creepy man
Arms, knees, legs, you are writing for ponies here.
Keep dat in mind.
Ya know, Twilight's pain could be an issue called Patello Femoral Pain Syndrome, where your hamstrings don't work right. she may want to get that looked at
GOING TO. Not "gonna"
Ahem, other than that, good story. I personally, like some of your other readers, have a more idealistic view of Dash. That being said, I find no fault in the way you portray her. There are multiple interpretations for the way anybody acts. I like how you reason that she craves attention/admiration from Twilight and that contributes to her bravado. Very likely.
Twilight's a male whale genitalia. Ok?