• Member Since 8th Mar, 2018
  • offline last seen April 21st

JBukharin


Comments ( 594 )

No monologue, no classic villain speech. I wasn’t sure if I was relieved he wasn’t going for clichés or not since he was directly putting me in an awkward situation with his no-nonsense attitude about the matter.

Genre-savvy, non-overconfident Sombra is best Sombra.

what route will this story go? will the elements call him evil and fun happns or will something else happen?

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Why would they call them "evil"? It makes No Sense, because he took out the Real Villain in the Crystal Empire.

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all the elements would see is the empire is apparently free and ruled by an unknown creature and due to this it could lead to the elements not reacting well. who knows i could be wrong and it could turn out they are fine and freindly but due to the zecora episode in the show i dont think ponies in genrel react well to unknowns

Interesting that JB is posting fics here too. Wonder if he will post his alicorn fic here too.

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The MC will not put himself in the situation of being labeled a monster. Plans are being set up and... this world's map is pretty big. Only thing I can say is that my interest has been recently reignited by playing a lot of Equestria At War mod for Hearts of Iron IV.

10671065
I need an elaboration on this point, Alicorn fanfic?

Too bad he isn't turned into a pony it would certainly retain my attention, Still, it could be fun to read.


If you ever looking to commission a cover art let me know, and here is my youtube channel if you want to see some of my stuff.

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Will keep that in mind, thank you for the kind words!

10671339
Oh arse. Sorry, got my fic authors mixed up. Ooops

My only suggestion is that you went a bit fast, if you like you could take the time to explain the sequence of events to fill some of the gaps, like how did he dodge guards from the alley all the way to the castle specially with the big open in the center. How did he took care of the smell he no dough had because he dive into garbage, and maybe some details on how he manage to maneuver his way to the top of the castle when the only staircase there was outside and to reach the entrance one need to go to the basement first. Did he parkour toward it from a window or something?

Basically you don't need to put in detail every single step John took but let things flow a bit more naturally and not rush things.

P.S: Am I to assume he reach Equestria 1000 years before the show and before Nightmare Moon? Because if my math is correct Discord should had been imprison like 2 or 3 years ago by my estimate

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I usually take more time writing stuff. In fact, I believe next chapter will reach 4k if not beyond. I just wanted to lay out the intro since, as I said, it's my first experiment about a MLP fanfic.

About Discord: While he is indeed 'unavailable' for a few early seasons, that doesn't exactly exclude him from making pre-banishment plans and setting up long-term plans to screw with Canon. Either before or... after this specific time.

About the timeline: in a few months MC is getting a diplomatic envoy as the Empire is brought out of its state of banishment. Things sure are set to still get insane despite the lack of dangerous misunderstanding. Tactical Hugs might be involved.

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Hugs or suggestions of possible merging by marriage? Either case, something tells me some rulers might bring him a 'welcome to the ruler world gift baskets'

The title immediately made me think of "Hail to the King". Hopefully this won't share the same fate.

Ah! Run for your lives he has thumbs! 😱

I owe you a favor for this funny idea,

D.

Who the heck is ‘D’?!

Discord.

This was the Crystal Empire. From the lack of the light barrier that protected it from Sombra and the cold… I woke up before the bastard had been vanquished. This was far from idyllic and… I needed to move. Because, as the realization struck me and kept me in a single place, a small group of three armored ponies with green scleras began to approach me. Their pace was slow, unsure- this wasn’t something they were prepared to handle and… that gave me an opportunity.

So whoever this guy is, he knows about the show and has seen at least until the Season 3 opener.

2) Be bold, recover the Crystal Heart where Sombra had kept it hidden and… kill the bastard myself;

Good fucking luck.

Five minutes of quickly running around the place and going through a couple staircases ended with me finally seeing my current target floating in the middle of… a circle I couldn’t pass without getting captured in the process. A trap that I was only aware about by a few clips I have seen when I was younger.

OK, so not THAT familiar.

I got the Heart Crystal, there was no second trap activating and…

Crystal Heart.

Here he was, ‘floating’ in a dark cloud of hatred, despair and… he was charging up another attack again.

Ah nuts.

It was all planned. I swear- I’m smart!

OK, I believe you.

No real explosion, just Sombra… imploding onto himself. With his real body shattered, his dark and cloudy form was sent soaring well away from the borders of the city, and… I was left alone with a still active Crystal Heart in my hands.

... Well then.

“You… You slain the king?”

Basically.

“A new king! King John,” The other added excitedly and I tensed up even more.

That name's vaguely amusing to be considering the John I associate the name with is Prince John from Disney's Robin Hood. THIS John is considerably smarter.

P.S. Yes, this is the first time I write about FIMfiction and about MLP in general.

Welcome to writing about this show, and I hope you enjoy your time working on this story then. Also, I've seen your profile picture before. Are you the guy that wrote the Jojo's story Absolute Divinity?

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Yep, same author. Also, it's still ongoing. Arc 2!!

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I've been reading it, yes. My mistake. But, glad to see you here regardless. Hope you enjoy writing this story.

John...Bukharin...

Do you write RWBY stories?!

Comment posted by syndrose deleted Feb 13th, 2021

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'The Reluctant Hero', yep.

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I'm a little behind but I still read that story, quite a surprise to see you here!

Congratz, ya got featured. 2/13/2021

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Yep, just noticed a few hours ago. Quite the achievement... I wonder if I keep this story featured~ (doubtful, but the hopes are high).

It took me just a day to change that perspective. And it wasn’t self-contemplation that led me to finally understand why the Crystal Ponies eagerly submitted to the ‘easiest’ claimant to the throne. First, the entire chair made of dark crystals was quickly replaced by something less flashy and less deadly to beings that weren’t capable of withstanding the horrible effects of the dangerous gems.

Yeah, Sombra was, off his rocker.

I really didn’t need the Iron Throne to annoy the patience out of me. Especially if I was meant to keep up with the entire ordeal I was suddenly pulled in.

Honestly? Fair.

Without a clear dynastic line to follow, it was either anarchy or debate heatedly who could have been tied to the monarch before Sombra and put them on the throne.

Which might have been his plan. If he can't have it, nopony can.

It was common for tyrants and dictators to bring their people to starvation. While it severely affects the efficiency of the work and the capacity of production of essential goods, the main purpose of this practice was to keep the people, in this case the Crystal Ponies, to be able to fight back his influence. To curb rebellions by depriving them of the chance of even trying to fight back.

Oof.

The first two edicts I enacted just as I was proclaimed king and inquired about my orders for the day was… a banquet. And mandatory medical checkups. The doctors, or healers as they were still defined by the Crystal Empire, were to be paid through the royal treasury as this was an affair caused by the monarch before me.

Smart.

He stood out the most through his lack of reluctance to make his voice heard. Not because I was limiting the chances of the advisors to speak, but because, out of the five or six ponies that were employed as advisors, he was the one making the most interventions through my own questions and the one asking the most out of them all. I was surprised at his tenacity, but I could tell most of this was due to his age.

And it's very important to have an advisor with a backbone.

Still, I was granted some amusing sights as I saw how funny some of the Crystal Ponies were when drunk. Some really didn’t seem to hold the alcohol, quickly engaging in silly acts the moment their brain was completely influenced by the beer and wine dispensed for the occasion. They were all fun drunks, and I was more than happy to let them pull some interesting cuddle piles after some silly bickering.

Adorable.

What about Gamer Luna? Is she real? Because I really want that to be real.

I like that that's what he latches onto.

If she was feeling awkward about meeting a monarch, imagine my personal distress in being the monarch and having to handle a nervous subject. A cute subject at that since the entire maid outfit made her extra cuter compared to the others.

I… I want to head pat her.

Oh this will be fun.

Jesus Christ, I can’t help but hate the bastard even more as I learned further about the evil he perpetrated in his own kingdom. He was isolated, he could have allowed some slack to his workers if he truly didn’t want to keep paying to maintain a proper dungeon.

You'd think.

“I wish for that very list to be given to Shadow Mark. I will see that he keeps hold of it so we will do something about it. Starting with alerting the families of these losses,” I remarked quietly. “Now please, take the young maid to see her brother. And have him freed and brought to a healer if he requires medical assistance.”

I like this guy.

A small entourage from Equestria. One of them was a pink Alicorn that bore a message of friendship while her husband was one of the highest officers in Equestria. And in that moment, my brain exploded with multiple panicked thoughts and ill-conceived scenarios about what I was really supposed to do about it.

So that means that this is right before Crystal Empire Part 1.

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Yeah, it's just a day before that. Expects lots of shenanigans~~.

give cadence head pats!

Hey!!! Socialist Bukharin is here! I have to say this is a surprise, but NOT an unpleasant one. I'm excited to see how this story goes. There have been only a couple of fanfics where an OC-insert has taken over ruling the Crystal Empire, but every one of them were always a great read. I know that your a great author from your other fanfic stories "The reluctant hero", "Tale of two kings", and your more recent "It's in the Blood" (loving it by the way), so I'm sure you'll give this story a great running. I've loved the first two chapters so far and I'm excited to see how the next chapter with the party arriving from Equestrian will turn out. Will Cadence flip her shit when she finds out, will she be understanding, will she give the cold shoulder, who knows? Thanks for the great chapter S-B and good luck with your next one. As always, have fun writing!

This is where things get interesting, I always found how candace is handled either makes or brakes the story

This is frankly the wierdest thing I've ever seen. Spelling? Good.

Grammar? -7/10 shoot me please.

When I was first called a ‘King’, I thought these ponies were stupid.

Automatic +5 on the rating scale

So Anon arrived like a day or two BEFORE reports of the crystal empire return meaning that the thing with Celestia and Luna already happen and rather than become a cloud Sombra just telepot his nation out of reality with him.

…which also means that Cadence and Shining no longer will be the new rulers, unless of course Anon conceded the throne which his subjects might object on how good of a job he is doing so far.

On the bright side that fill the gap into why those two became rulers right after finding out about the kingdom, the ponies simple didn't had a ruler of their own and didn't knew what to do, so the couple simple…filled the gap.

They didn’t seem keen to check if there was something off about the halls, like sudden noise of my steps or the

The sentence is missing a few words at the end.

Other than that, it is good to see you here as well, dear sir. This said, I do have a question ... .

Do you happen to like cheese by chance? Inquiring minds wish to know! :P

Fan-joke out of the way, here is another author who I think you'd enjoy reading his works from:

[Adult story embed hidden]

I'll still be watching this take on the subject though. :moustache:

The biggest beef I have with this story so far is the insane use of ellipses. From an outside observer's perspective, it appears that your writing is so short because you're using ellipses constantly instead of either hard stopping your previous sentence with a period and starting a new sentence, or extending your previous sentence with either a colon or an en-dash. Technically the first chapter alone is kind of middle-of-the-road when it comes to length, clocking in at 2,571 words and 13,836 characters. But when you're constantly using an ellipse for no apparent reason, the readers get the "fake" sense of your writing being too short because ellipses are usually used to trail off the end of a sentence. Its really jarring when a sentence seemingly trails off and, instead of starting a new subject for the next sentence, is instead using the same subject for the previous sentence despite the apparent "trailing pause" in the narrator's narration. Just something to keep in mind for the future. I hope I'm not coming across as a dick.

Continue com essa história por favor tá muito legal mesmo eu amei essa história por favor

“You… You slain the king?”

*You've
Otherwise, not bad.

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There are other good stores of of people that have shown up and became king by killing Sombra. Skeletor and Iron blood come to mind.

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The guy has a business degree from an American university in the story. The best it's going to get is a social democracy

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I've read that one a few years ago. It was one of few ones that had me interested in the idea. I just waited a long time before trying my hand at the topic. Still, I will not copy from it, I remember someone actually doing that with a Doflamingo fanfic and I really, really don't like copying other people's work. Still, I can say that I will draw a lot from Equestria at War Lore. I've played that mod way too many times now.


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*Weirdest? I'm glad the weird is strong in this one. Chapter 3 will be fun crazy.
10677199
I've curbed some of the mistakes, removed a good chunk of the ellipses, and added a 400-500 more words to the chapter. I think it's a little better now.

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Oh no, I wasn't implying anything of the pirating sort--though I am happy to see that you're a man of culture and good taste if that fic was a source of inspiration. :moustache:

Dear Nigel is still my favorite sociopathic supersoldier to date, and his way of dealing with King Somb-rug was quite hilariously dark. :rainbowlaugh:

I am a reader of The Tale of Two Kings you got going at spacebattles, and I know we're in for a treat with your treatment of this franchise.:twilightsmile:

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Haven't read either, to be honest. King Somb-rug is to date my favorite fate for such a douche pony. :trollestia:

Besides, this is a regular human who lucked out in that the watermelon-sized gaudy piece of crystal was enough to dust off Sombra--now we will have to wait and see when the prick returns.

... and if the protagonist will make a rug out of him just to desecrate his memory for the history books. :trixieshiftright:

Quick question. You wouldn't happen to have a wattpad and wrote It's In The Blood have you?

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I have a Wattpad but I barely write in it and I literally forgot the password to enter that account.

And yes, I'm the Author of 'It's in the Blood'.

10678263
I thought your name rung a bell.

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