JBukharin
Joined 8th Mar, 2018 ·
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Genre-savvy, non-overconfident Sombra is best Sombra.
what route will this story go? will the elements call him evil and fun happns or will something else happen?
10670938
Why would they call them "evil"? It makes No Sense, because he took out the Real Villain in the Crystal Empire.
10670945
all the elements would see is the empire is apparently free and ruled by an unknown creature and due to this it could lead to the elements not reacting well. who knows i could be wrong and it could turn out they are fine and freindly but due to the zecora episode in the show i dont think ponies in genrel react well to unknowns
Interesting that JB is posting fics here too. Wonder if he will post his alicorn fic here too.
10670987
The MC will not put himself in the situation of being labeled a monster. Plans are being set up and... this world's map is pretty big. Only thing I can say is that my interest has been recently reignited by playing a lot of Equestria At War mod for Hearts of Iron IV.
10671065
I need an elaboration on this point, Alicorn fanfic?
Too bad he isn't turned into a pony it would certainly retain my attention, Still, it could be fun to read.
If you ever looking to commission a cover art let me know, and here is my youtube channel if you want to see some of my stuff.
10671442
Will keep that in mind, thank you for the kind words!
10671339
Oh arse. Sorry, got my fic authors mixed up. Ooops
My only suggestion is that you went a bit fast, if you like you could take the time to explain the sequence of events to fill some of the gaps, like how did he dodge guards from the alley all the way to the castle specially with the big open in the center. How did he took care of the smell he no dough had because he dive into garbage, and maybe some details on how he manage to maneuver his way to the top of the castle when the only staircase there was outside and to reach the entrance one need to go to the basement first. Did he parkour toward it from a window or something?
Basically you don't need to put in detail every single step John took but let things flow a bit more naturally and not rush things.
P.S: Am I to assume he reach Equestria 1000 years before the show and before Nightmare Moon? Because if my math is correct Discord should had been imprison like 2 or 3 years ago by my estimate
10671585
I usually take more time writing stuff. In fact, I believe next chapter will reach 4k if not beyond. I just wanted to lay out the intro since, as I said, it's my first experiment about a MLP fanfic.
About Discord: While he is indeed 'unavailable' for a few early seasons, that doesn't exactly exclude him from making pre-banishment plans and setting up long-term plans to screw with Canon. Either before or... after this specific time.
About the timeline: in a few months MC is getting a diplomatic envoy as the Empire is brought out of its state of banishment. Things sure are set to still get insane despite the lack of dangerous misunderstanding. Tactical Hugs might be involved.
10671740
Hugs or suggestions of possible merging by marriage? Either case, something tells me some rulers might bring him a 'welcome to the ruler world gift baskets'
Good
The title immediately made me think of "Hail to the King". Hopefully this won't share the same fate.
Ah! Run for your lives he has thumbs! 😱
Discord.
So whoever this guy is, he knows about the show and has seen at least until the Season 3 opener.
Good fucking luck.
OK, so not THAT familiar.
Crystal Heart.
Ah nuts.
OK, I believe you.
... Well then.
Basically.
That name's vaguely amusing to be considering the John I associate the name with is Prince John from Disney's Robin Hood. THIS John is considerably smarter.
Welcome to writing about this show, and I hope you enjoy your time working on this story then. Also, I've seen your profile picture before. Are you the guy that wrote the Jojo's story Absolute Divinity?
10670928
Fuck yeah he is
10675257
Yep, same author. Also, it's still ongoing. Arc 2!!
10675769
I've been reading it, yes. My mistake. But, glad to see you here regardless. Hope you enjoy writing this story.
John...Bukharin...
Do you write RWBY stories?!
10676631
'The Reluctant Hero', yep.
10676663
I'm a little behind but I still read that story, quite a surprise to see you here!
Congratz, ya got featured. 2/13/2021
10676673
Yep, just noticed a few hours ago. Quite the achievement... I wonder if I keep this story featured~ (doubtful, but the hopes are high).
Yeah, Sombra was, off his rocker.
Honestly? Fair.
Which might have been his plan. If he can't have it, nopony can.
Oof.
Smart.
And it's very important to have an advisor with a backbone.
Adorable.
I like that that's what he latches onto.
Oh this will be fun.
You'd think.
I like this guy.
So that means that this is right before Crystal Empire Part 1.
10676685 I'm sure you'll be able to.
10676704
Yeah, it's just a day before that. Expects lots of shenanigans~~.
10676726
Dear God.
give cadence head pats!
Hey!!! Socialist Bukharin is here! I have to say this is a surprise, but NOT an unpleasant one. I'm excited to see how this story goes. There have been only a couple of fanfics where an OC-insert has taken over ruling the Crystal Empire, but every one of them were always a great read. I know that your a great author from your other fanfic stories "The reluctant hero", "Tale of two kings", and your more recent "It's in the Blood" (loving it by the way), so I'm sure you'll give this story a great running. I've loved the first two chapters so far and I'm excited to see how the next chapter with the party arriving from Equestrian will turn out. Will Cadence flip her shit when she finds out, will she be understanding, will she give the cold shoulder, who knows? Thanks for the great chapter S-B and good luck with your next one. As always, have fun writing!
This is where things get interesting, I always found how candace is handled either makes or brakes the story
This is frankly the wierdest thing I've ever seen. Spelling? Good.
Grammar? -7/10 shoot me please.
Automatic +5 on the rating scale
So Anon arrived like a day or two BEFORE reports of the crystal empire return meaning that the thing with Celestia and Luna already happen and rather than become a cloud Sombra just telepot his nation out of reality with him.
…which also means that Cadence and Shining no longer will be the new rulers, unless of course Anon conceded the throne which his subjects might object on how good of a job he is doing so far.
On the bright side that fill the gap into why those two became rulers right after finding out about the kingdom, the ponies simple didn't had a ruler of their own and didn't knew what to do, so the couple simple…filled the gap.
The sentence is missing a few words at the end.
Other than that, it is good to see you here as well, dear sir. This said, I do have a question ... .
Do you happen to like cheese by chance? Inquiring minds wish to know! :P
Fan-joke out of the way, here is another author who I think you'd enjoy reading his works from:
[Adult story embed hidden]
I'll still be watching this take on the subject though.
The biggest beef I have with this story so far is the insane use of ellipses. From an outside observer's perspective, it appears that your writing is so short because you're using ellipses constantly instead of either hard stopping your previous sentence with a period and starting a new sentence, or extending your previous sentence with either a colon or an en-dash. Technically the first chapter alone is kind of middle-of-the-road when it comes to length, clocking in at 2,571 words and 13,836 characters. But when you're constantly using an ellipse for no apparent reason, the readers get the "fake" sense of your writing being too short because ellipses are usually used to trail off the end of a sentence. Its really jarring when a sentence seemingly trails off and, instead of starting a new subject for the next sentence, is instead using the same subject for the previous sentence despite the apparent "trailing pause" in the narrator's narration. Just something to keep in mind for the future. I hope I'm not coming across as a dick.
Continue com essa história por favor tá muito legal mesmo eu amei essa história por favor
*You've
Otherwise, not bad.
10677171
There are other good stores of of people that have shown up and became king by killing Sombra. Skeletor and Iron blood come to mind.
10676757
The guy has a business degree from an American university in the story. The best it's going to get is a social democracy
10677171
I've read that one a few years ago. It was one of few ones that had me interested in the idea. I just waited a long time before trying my hand at the topic. Still, I will not copy from it, I remember someone actually doing that with a Doflamingo fanfic and I really, really don't like copying other people's work. Still, I can say that I will draw a lot from Equestria at War Lore. I've played that mod way too many times now.
10676848
*Weirdest? I'm glad the weird is strong in this one. Chapter 3 will be fun crazy.
10677199
I've curbed some of the mistakes, removed a good chunk of the ellipses, and added a 400-500 more words to the chapter. I think it's a little better now.
10677900
*Italian Uni.
10677903
Oof, my bad.
10677901
Oh no, I wasn't implying anything of the pirating sort--though I am happy to see that you're a man of culture and good taste if that fic was a source of inspiration.
Dear Nigel is still my favorite sociopathic supersoldier to date, and his way of dealing with King Somb-rug was quite hilariously dark.
I am a reader of The Tale of Two Kings you got going at spacebattles, and I know we're in for a treat with your treatment of this franchise.
10677895
Haven't read either, to be honest. King Somb-rug is to date my favorite fate for such a douche pony.
Besides, this is a regular human who lucked out in that the watermelon-sized gaudy piece of crystal was enough to dust off Sombra--now we will have to wait and see when the prick returns.
... and if the protagonist will make a rug out of him just to desecrate his memory for the history books.
Quick question. You wouldn't happen to have a wattpad and wrote It's In The Blood have you?
10678250
I have a Wattpad but I barely write in it and I literally forgot the password to enter that account.
And yes, I'm the Author of 'It's in the Blood'.
10678263
I thought your name rung a bell.