“So it is clear to me that you and Lyra are very close, am I correct?”
With a sigh, the earth pony responded with a ‘mhmm’.
“Would you say you love her?” The grey stallion pushed forward, his questions getting slightly more personal, as he had planned to do,
Yes! Yes! More than she could ever know…
“O-of course” She stammered, “We’ve been best friends for our whole lives…”
The therapist lifted his pen again and wrote something more.
“From what you’ve told me, I think it may be more than that, BonBon. You’ve stressed how much you’ve despised her coltfriend from the start, even before their fight. You’re so descriptive when you describe her, I’ve caught you smiling every single time you mentioned her. You can’t get this mare off your mind, can you BonBon?”
“W-what can I say…” BonBon said in a shaky voice, dams ready to burst behind her eyes, “You’re right…everything I do centers around when I can see her! Absolutely everything…not just because we’ve been friends for so long. I m-mean, if only I would have told her before now…we’d still be friends if she knew I felt this way, right?” The cream colored mare asked, hoping his answer would make her feel slightly better about her situation.
Hypothetical thoughts of telling Lyra about her feelings sent chills down her spine. BonBon felt shameful for the feelings she have towards her and the idea of losing a best friend over them was worth the pain of not knowing whether Lyra ever felt the same. Well, that’s what she told herself. The fact that Lyra has a coltfriend answered it for her somewhat, but the feelings remain no matter how she tried to get rid of them.
These thoughts caused her to miss what Dr Buckington had said, so she asked him to repeat it. “Of course, BonBon. I said, often it is what you didn’t do that you regret more than what you did. It’s clear to me, through from what you have said so far, that Lyra would never give up your friendship for anything. Though it may take her time to accept your feelings towards her, she seems mature enough to know of your feelings, but put them aside for the sake of your friendship,”
“I don’t want that!” The cream colored mare exclaimed, tears now pouring down her cheeks, “I want be with her! I want to kiss her! I want to live with her and spend the rest of my life with her! I want to hug her, I want to be the only pony she needs! I want to love her and for her to love me back...I-I-I… I know I’m being selfish, wanting more than what I should be happy with, but I’m just…I’m just so lost…”
The climax of her outburst slowly dissipated into quiet sobs, she used her hooves to wipe away tears, something she has become all too familiar with in the recent past. Hot tears glided down her cheeks as she let her emotions pour out on the therapist. In an odd sense, it felt good for her to let loose her emotions and cry, knowing somepony was listening to her, especially thoughts she had kept bottled up before meeting Dr Buckington.
“Sometimes things just don’t go the way you want them too. It’s a learning experience BonBon. The best thing you can do is learn from your experiences,” The grey stallion said at last, once the mare got a grip on her emotions.
“I-I waited too long…tomorrow it’ll be too late,” She turned over to her side facing away from the therapist.
“What do you mean?” The grey stallion questioned as he wrote down a few more notes.
“It was about a week ago…” BonBon started forcefully making herself relive her memory.
<><><><><><><><>
“Me and Lyra haven’t met at Sugarcube Corner in such a long time! She must be really excited about something,” The cream colored mare mused with a smile to the pink pony across her. They were sitting inside of the bakery, enjoying some snacks that BonBon had cooked up herself .
“I already know! Hehe! Lyra told me earlier, but she wants me to keep the secret because she’s going to surprise you with it! AND I’LL SUPPLY THE CAKE!” Pinkie Pie said enthusiastically, quickly stuffing her face with a few cupcakes.
BonBon giggled in response to the pink pony’s crazy antics, “Then don’t tease me! I can hardly wait as it is, sugar!”
“It’s going to be surprising, but not surprising! You know what I mean!? Like, you want a cake and somepony got you a present and you expect it to be a cake so much that it seems TOO obvious that it’ll be a cake! SO THEN you don’t expect it to be a cake, AND THEN…!” Pinkie held for a dramatic pause, “IT TURNS OUT TO BE A CAKE ANYWAY! You know!?OMIGOSH I WANT SOME CAKE NOW, LYRA NEEDS TO HURRRY!”
“You’re telling me! We haven’t been able to hang out much since she got a coltfriend, hopefully she can today,!”
I wonder what her surprise is? Maybe she finally broke up with that stallion, maybe Lyra knows about my feelings? Maybe she shares those feelings?
Her own thoughts caused her to blush, but luckily Pinkie Pie was off in her own world thinking about trillions types of cake.
Yeah, right…
It only made sense to BonBon that Lyra would finally break up with the stallion. BonBon had had an inside view on how he treated her, and didn’t understand why Lyra put with it. BonBon was who Lyra turned to during the many arguments they had and it broke BonBon’s heart to see the teal unicorn being treated so badly. It was almost on a daily basis that the cream colored mare would help Lyra through a struggle in her relationship, while having to hold back her own feelings. It took a lot for the cream colored mare to prevent herself from exclaiming how much better she would treat her if she was just given a chance.
BonBon has seen first-hoof how Lyra’s coltfriend treated her. He treated her like she obligated to be with him, like it was a privilege for her to be in his presence. It disgusted BonBon and she let Lyra know that. Sometimes it would seem that Lyra was going to end it, but she never did.
I need to stop giving myself false hope; I just need to be real about this. I’m a single mare, falling in love with another mare who has a coltfriend. I just need to accept this and move on. BonBon sighed in response to her own thoughts. If only it was that easy…
BonBon wasn’t surprised that when Lyra came, she was with her coltfriend. This almost made the earth pony mad just to know her friend completely disregarded her obvious distaste for the stallion.
The cream colored pony ignored the thought though, because just seeing the unicorn elevated her mood and made her feel much happier. They greeted with a hug, while BonBon seemingly ignored the presence of the stallion. All three, along with Pinkie Pie sat at a table, the stallion keeping a stern look on his face for no apparent reason. He was a shorter earth pony, with the cutie mark of a sprig of maize. BonBon assumed this meant he worked in some sort of corn farming plantation, or just really loves corn.
“MR AND MRS CAKE WE NEED SOME CAKE, PRONTO!” Pinkie exclaimed, the force of her statement thrusting her impossibly into mid air. But then again, nopony dares to question pinkie physics.
“So!?” Bonbon said with a jubilant squeak, “What’s the surprise!?”
Lyra turned to her coltfriend and with a smile turned back to her best friend.
“Well, we’ve been thinking about it for a long time, and…”
“We’re going to get married!”
<><><><><><><><>
With a sniff BonBon prevented herself from breaking down once more.
“It was the hardest thing for me…you know, to pretend to be happy for her, pretend it didn’t…break my heart,”
“Well, to me it seems that you need closure. You’ve harbored these feelings for your friend for quite a while now and the only way I believe this pain will end, is if you confess your feelings to her. No matter which way it goes, I believe that when you take a big leap and admit something like this to somepony that you feel you love, not matter how the situation ends up, you’ll come out of it as a stronger mare. Harboring feelings for Lyra is understandable for the situation you’re in. You probably felt scared, embarrassed, or maybe even shameful for having them. The first step is to accept that you’re feeling these feeling and that they’re real, which I believe you have done. The last step involves what I just mentioned, which is telling Lyra how you feel,”
BonBon knew he was correct with every single thing he said. The words stung, though there was no real harshness about them. However, they got her contemplate about finally admitting her emotions to her best friend, telling her how much she loved her and though she had thought about doing it before, it was nothing she had seriously considered until then.
“T-That night I went home, after pretending to be so happy for her, pretending not to feel my heart being ripped into two, THAT night was the first time I cried over her, without it making me feel better…what I mean is, I had cried over my love for her before a-and usually I would feel better after. But that night, I felt complete despair, I felt like me and her are meant to be together, but she…she just loves somepony else…a-and I guess I am just too weak to understand that,” BonBon confessed, voice shaky and wavering.
“Don’t call yourself weak BonBon. From what I have seen, you’re a very strong mare. Love is a complicated emotion; don’t let it make you feel down about yourself,”
After taking a little sip from the cup of water, BonBon sighed, almost in acceptance of her situation. Though tears still seemed to find their way out of her eyes and down her cheeks, she was at least feeling slightly better about herself and her circumstances.
“The wedding is tomorrow…I-I think I need to speak to her before, I-I think it’s time for me to tell her the truth, whether the answer is what I would like it to be or not”
Saying it out loud solidified it for BonBon.
“I agree and wish you the best of luck. However, I regret to inform you that our time is up for today. I truly hope I have helped you in your situation, BonBon,” He said in his simple deep voice.
BonBon stretched and then hopped up off of the couch she had been laying on the whole time. She felt like a different mare than when she entered the room.
“I feel better and I-I feel that I know what to do now, sugar. You definitely helped me,”
Dr Buckington smiled warmly. “Remember to come back next week, it’s a free session.”
“Hopefully by then I won’t need it,” The cream colored mare said, wiping the last tear out of her eye with a single hoof.
“I hope so too,”
Repeated ending?
81531 SHOOT! let me fix that real quick!
Listening to dubstep totally ruins the mood, haha. Nice story though. I'm not much of a critique, but you can take my five, unless my mouse misclicks and I get four and a half. In that case, I apologize.
Well... the story is fine. I am only picky about the therapist's attitude.
Being a psychologist or a psychiatrist means that you have to be impersonal with your patients. I know- it sounds strange, but it's what the 'Medical Speech' demands of one. I am really against this; but the doctor, judging by his age, is old-school.
There's a fight to break that train of thought, though. Gestalt.
And I feel that the therapist's role in this fic is highly unnecessary. Bon Bon said and thought about everything by herself. She seems self-sufficiency enough.
But I guess we do need to be told what we already know... sometimes...
81605Well, this fic was meant to be much shorter, but as I kept writing his role in the story a little bit bigger than it maybe should have. Also, I've never actually seen a therapist so far, so I was basically going off of an educated guess of what they do. I'm sure not all are the same, and some may be like the one I portrayed, but I agree to some extent. BonBon would have never came to the conclusion without his advice, which gives him a bigger role to be seen in the next chapter. Thanks for the comment.
good story, i like it very much.
keep it up!
While there's life, there's hope.~Cicero
awwww
very good!
I love it so far, can't wait for the next update.
81611
If you plan on keeping the therapist here's some advice.
You take a knife out of your pocket and yell to the man in front of you "I'm going to open your guts and rape your organs!"
If the man is a psychologist: He'll try to argue with you, convince you not to, etc.
If the man is a psychiatrist: He'll look you deep in the eyes and ask: "And how would that make you feel?" Without the slightest bit of emotion.
Ultimately, if you really planned on killing them; they will defend themselves, of course.
I know this is an rather extreme example, but It's what we Med students are taught...
82081The therapist is gone after this chapter, though BonBon does continue to reminisce. (I didn't want to add too many flashbacks, but adding just one more helps the flow of the last few chapter+the epilogue I may make.
Killing would be pretty dramatic, I must admit. (Maybe that's why BonBon went to see a therapist in the first place...?)
82090
*eagerly awaiting sounds*
This was a great chapter, although it broke my heart as a reader to see such a development with Lyra.
My only complaint is that you could have left a sentence out: "This was the breaking point for Bonbon. [not looking at text; sorry if misquoted]" If you remove that sentence, it's still clear that she's broken, if for no other reason than tears are streaming down her face.
This chapter still needs a good bit of prereading, albeit mostly just for some small grammar mistakes. In the flashback scene in particular I remember there being multiple instances where a missed comma or apostrophe had me looking back and trying to figure out what had just been said. It's a bit distracting, is all.
That being said, I'm definitely looking forward to see what happens next!
8414 Ugh. That sucks. Maybe I rushed the chapter out a little bit. I'll do some editing when I get the chance. That's what I get for working on 3 stories at once.
haven't been reading so caching up
as i read this is getting pretty good