Unfortunately, his earlier attempt had not been a fluke. Whenever he thought of leaving Equestria, the will of the phoenix that burned inside his pony form grew too painful and nauseous for concentration. He could not attempt to teleport home from the Astral Plane, which also meant he didn't even know if it would work in the first place.
It was made even more frustrating by the fact that the phoenix had not objected to his earliest attempts at leaving via phoenix a few months ago. What is different between then and now? It's not like he knew his first attempts at phoenix teleportation wouldn't work. The inner-phoenix should have been just as loud then as it is now. It had screamed a bit, but not this much.
And the screaming had nothing to do with running from Discord, either, or ignoring the cries of the Changelings. Discord had been vanquished, and the Changelings were no longer crying.
Why shouldn't he be allowed to attempt another escape, just as he attempted to escape a few months ago? Did it have to do with his long meditations? Was the will of the phoenix able to align itself with his 'positive' desires like using these once-in-a-lifetime circumstances to their fullest? It was obviously able to reject some 'negative' ideas. Was his desire to cheat Dumbledore's test somehow more negative now than it had been a few months ago?
Riddle didn't know, and he had little time to work on this new phoenix problem by the time his employer came knocking once more, arriving at his Astral Plane without permission and requesting his assistance yet again. Despite only trying for less than a day, he decided he could use a break from the constant mental stress that came from confronting the inner-fire.
The job was to return Discord to the Canterlot Gardens, and the plan was to manually escort his statue all the way from Ponyville. When Riddle asked why they could not simply teleport the statue, he was informed that the statue could not be teleported. The best method, therefore, would be train travel.
Guards with reputations for remaining calm and emotionally stable under pressure were selected for deployment. Two of those guards, the ones who would be directly guarding the statue, were Changelings – a fact known to himself and his employer, but not to Celestia or anypony else. If the worst happened, it would help to have two additional Harmony-capable horns at the epicenter of the chaotic disaster.
The schedule he composed allowed for an hour of wiggle room between departure and arrival. Part of scheduling is to plan for unforeseen contingencies. So long as nothing unusual occurred, they would rigidly adhere to his itinerary. If chaos helped Discord to escape, Riddle reasoned, then chaos would be minimized. The easiest way to achieve this, he explained, was to maximize orderliness.
Riddle, his employer, his employer's sister, and the two (secretly Changeling) guards would accompany Discord's statue in the train and all the way to the garden. The Elements of Harmony would also be directly present for much of the trip. The other guards would fly along outside, or stay in other train cabins.
Riddle did not know how to feel about his task of providing security. On the one hoof, his advice was finally being heeded. On the other, it felt like busy work. Important busy work, especially from the perspective of the one who assigned it, but busy work nonetheless. In particular, he disliked that his ideas and reasoning were being seen as novel and intelligent when they should have been routine by now. His suggestions should not have required him to demand their implementation and explain their obvious justifications. And worse, not all of his advice was being heeded.
For instance, the Elements of Laughter and Loyalty were not in the next cabin over. Riddle did not trust those two to refrain from causing chaos for the duration of the trip, but Celestia did, and her word was final.
Other than that obvious mistake, Celestia's contribution to the set-up was two-fold. She first pointed out that, so soon after his re-entrapment, Discord would likely not be released for at least a few years, even if the most Chaotic events in the world happened right next to him. She then pointed out that they should still not be trying to speed things along.
She reminded everypony involved, especially Riddle, that arguing counts as 'anti-harmonious', and so for the duration of the trip, everypony should try to refrain from upsetting anypony else. She eyed him in particular. "Silence is mostly golden," she said. "Small talk is fine, but please do not bring up... emotionally trying topics. It is not a catastrophe if you do, but I would appreciate it if you didn't."
He did not reply. Everything that came to mind would have qualified as 'arguing' with her. He did not allow himself to become annoyed either, given the gravity of the situation.
Although he was tempted, since it apparently wasn't as grave as he'd thought, and Celestia was exploiting it for the sake of her own convenience.
Still, he sighed away his impulses and asked if the wedding had been rescheduled, which set off a series of self-contained conversations about wedding dresses (participants: Rarity and Pinkie), Princess 'Cadence' (participants: Twilight and Fluttershy), the recent Flight Week (participants: Rainbow and Applejack), and, once the wedding was exhausted as a topic of conversation, the anti-chaos ward took its place (participants: Riddle and the Princesses).
At one point, Celestia left the caboose to go to the bathroom a few cabins down. A few seconds later, Riddle realized he should have instructed everypony to take care of such business before departure, or he should have implemented the charm that put bodily waste functions on hold, because the moment Celestia was gone...
"Pssst," said a whisper that carried through the entire cabin, drawing everypony's attention. It had an echo to it, as if it was being produced by magic, not vocal cords. After everypony tried to ignore the voice, it repeated "PSSST" much louder. When that still didn't work, the voice decided to single somepony out. "Hey, Pinkie, my party pony, my balloon buddy, my peppy pal, can you do me a favor?"
"Sorry, but I'm not pals with meanies," said Pinkie.
"MEANIES?" Discord's echoey voice echoed indignantly. "I'm no-"
"Silencio," Riddle said. "You were saying?" he asked his employer, making it clear how you go about ignoring something.
"Good thinking," she complimented. "I was saying..." she trailed off, her gaze going to the politely raised hoof of a yellow pony.
"M-maybe we should hear what he wants," suggested Fluttershy.
"What he wants is freedom and chaos," his employer correctly deduced. "And engaging with him brings him closer to that goal," she wisely denied.
"B-but," stammered the Element of Kindness, i.e. Weakness and Stupidity, "but it's not nice to ignore somedraconequus."
"Be that as it may," said Luna, "it would be even less nice to the ponies of Equestria if he escaped again. We are sorry, Fluttershy, but this is how it must be."
The pink-maned pony looked sad at that. "But it must be so lonely in there," she said, gazing at the statue. "I can't imagine how he stood a thousand years of it. I wish he could have somepony to talk to."
Luna looked at the Element of Weakness for a long moment. "My fool," she said. "Please remove the silencing barrier."
He raised an eyebrow. "I do not think that is wise," he advised. "You don't either."
"I know," said Luna. "But of all the ponies in the world to talk to Discord, I believe Fluttershy would bring the least amount of chaos."
"Should we not wait to consult your sister?"
"Ah. Good point. Let us do that."
Celestia, when she returned, favoured her sister's reasoning over his.
"I register my opinion that I am against this," he said as he removed the silencing charm.
"I acknowledge that your advice is correct from a military perspective," Luna allowed as the Element of Stupidity began conversing with Discord. "Just as you have acknowledged that my advice about the fastest way to progress is likely correct, and yet you choose to do otherwise."
He frowned. "That is because it is too early to tell that you are truly heeding my own military council. Like now."
And also because he did not like the prospect of turning his empathy sense all the way up to maximum at all times, rather than dampening/ignoring it as much as possible. He was thankful she didn't know about the phoenix; she would predictably tell him to heed that as well, if she knew about it.
"We both know that is not the full truth," said Luna. "Your discomfort plays a factor." She held up a hoof that forestalled his reply. "We shall each get better about heeding each other's advisements in the future, I expect. It has only been a few days."
"We are going to get better by deliberately ignoring each other's advice?" he asked sarcastically.
"No," she sighed. "But we both have our limits. Yours is... distaste. Or annoyance. Mine is justice, and my sister's is goodness. From the standpoint of justice, I am not sure that Discord's punishment was commensurate with his crimes. A thousand years of isolation and loneliness is... not quite fitting for all that he has done. It was not right. Especially if he was conscious for it. Even you would like somepony to talk to after a thousand years. I know it might be difficult, but try to put yourself in the hooves of a being who has been confined to solitude."
"Not as difficult as you think," Riddle replied. "And I'm not sure that I would wish to talk to anyone. I would just want freedom. Every word I said to anyone on the outside would be to that end."
"True," said Celestia, who chose that moment to join in. "But Discord is a better Equinoid than you deep down. I believe his redemption will come sooner than yours."
Riddle's eyebrows rose.
"Tia," Luna scolded. "Do not say it like that."
"My, Lulu," Celestia chuckled. "Are you suddenly turning into me?" She brought a hoof to her chin. "Hmm... now what was it you used to say in reply..." Her voice changed slightly, as if in imitation. "'Everypony is getting angry at what we are saying, but nopony is saying that we are wrong.' Something like that, yes?"
Riddle gave a single huff of agreement. He could easily see the Element of Weakness constantly nagging the Element of Bluntness, and the Element of Bluntness replying in such a fashion.
Celestia turned to face Riddle. "I suspected that you of all ponies would appreciate my honest, unfiltered assessment, just as I suspected you would think my assessment correct. Were my suspicions wrong?"
"They weren't," he said. "I always prefer true hatred to false love. Thank you for being candid."
"You are welcome," Celestia said. "But know that I do not hate you. I immensely dislike you sometimes, but I have never hated you."
"What's the difference?" asked Riddle. "Severity?"
She shook her head. "The difference is the state of mind." She adopted a lecturing tone. "Most hateful ponies hate their enemies. But many ponies have enemies, and not all of those ponies experience the emotion of hate. They immensely dislike their enemies, but they do not hate them."
"I still don't see the difference," said Riddle.
"My own way of telling the difference," said Celestia, "is that I imagine myself hearing the news that the target of my ire has died. If my imagination produces positive emotions upon hearing the news, then I know that hatred is present. If I want another to die, then hatred is present. I would not feel positive emotion if I heard that you had died, nor do I want you to die. Therefore, I do not hate you."
"Logical," said Riddle. "Do you know, off the top of your head, how many times you have felt that way about another intelligent life form, or have you lost count?"
"Thrice," said Celestia. "Well, I've felt that way more than three times, but only towards a sum total of three separate beings."
"Three?" asked Luna.
Riddle nodded in understanding. "Did you ever act on your feelings?"
"No," said Celestia. "Not beyond imprisonment. And before you ask, yes. I could have done more. I was tempted to go further. But in the cases where I was given the opportunity, I never succumbed to my base impulses."
"Did you ever not get the opportunity?" asked Riddle.
"For one of the three," said Celestia.
"Sister, who is the third?" asked Luna. "I believe I can guess two of them, but..."
"I am afraid I cannot say," said Celestia calmly, with closed eyes that could not be read. "I can only say that he would have tempted me more than the other two did." She opened her eyes again, meeting Riddle's. "Now it is my turn to inquire. Towards how many ponies have you felt hatred?"
"I wasn't keeping track," said Riddle. Off the top of his head, there was Blueblood, the pink moron, his wayward student (possibly), former professor Cast Steel, Wonderbolt Captain Spitfire... although that last one wasn't quite hatred. Using Celestia's metric, he'd be largely indifferent if he heard she died. Most of his hatred has been used up by this point. Even the positive emotions he felt after dealing with pests were mostly catharsis and relief, not elation. Fierce hatred is much rarer for him than it used to be. Annoyance is much more common.
It tends to come out when someone was being an active thorn in his side, like the pink one has proven capable of being at all times and in all places. There were exceptions of course, like in cases of betrayal, where he can still feel strong hatred. In his life, he had felt that emotion most strongly with Professor Dumbledore and Mr. Potter. That's why his feelings towards Mr. Potter had already reached the stage of resentment. Well, resentment with an asterisk. He still did not know if it had actually been betrayal.
Resentment, he believes, is the same as hatred, except it only manifests in situations where you are impotent in the face of the problem, causing you to think about what you would do if you could. Causing you to 'brood', as his employer would put it.
"Have you acted on that hatred?" asked Celestia.
Thankfully, she had initially asked about his hatred towards ponies in particular, and this phrasing maintained that line of questioning. Therefore he could truthfully say...
"Not beyond legal means, no." But even as he said it, he remembered... actually, no. Legilimency isn't against the law, is it? You can't outlaw what you don't know about.
"Lie by omission," said Luna automatically. "And he's leaving something else out as well."
"So," said Celestia, "what legal but immoral things have you done to ponies you hated?"
He shrugged. "Look no further than Blueblood for your answer. I utterly ruined him, though from my perspective, it was not the immoral thing to do."
"You are still lying by omission," said Luna.
"I am," he said. "But I'm not going to list out every last action I took against every pony I ever hated. When it comes to Blueblood, the only thing you don't already know about is how I discovered his little tryst, and I prefer to keep that to myself. A good magician keeps some tricks up his sleeve, after all."
He enjoyed the look of frustration on Celestia's face. Yes, he is omitting the full truth. No, she won't be hearing it.
His employer was already resigned to that reality, and knew better than to pry by now. "Was that the last time you hated?" she asked. "Or has there been anything more recent?"
"The most recent incident is complicated," he said, deliberately vague in his choice of words. "My hatred has been tempered because I know my hatred might be undue. And since I can't act on it anyway, it's already reached the point of possibly undue resentment."
"Emotions do not work like that," said Luna, to which her sister nodded.
"But conscious thought does work like that," countered Riddle. "You could say that my emotions have jumped to a certain conclusion, and my thoughts have reigned them in. My hatred will be let loose if it turns out to be justified. If not, it will be put to rest. I live in one of two possible worlds. One world warrants hatred, the other does not, and I do not know which world I live in. I know that I do not know, and my emotions are having trouble with that. All things considered, I prefer logic over impulse, so it's probably a good thing that my emotions can't make up their mind."
"Have you thought of not hating in the first place?" asked one of the (Changeling) guards, who apparently didn't know that guards don't speak unless spoken to.
"Good question," said Riddle sarcastically. He turned to Celestia. "Have you ever thought of not hating in the first place, your majesty?"
The Day Princess gave a severe look to the guard, who visibly cringed. "Emotions are not so easily controlled, Sterling. The only thing that can help with hatred is understanding." She turned back to face Riddle. " That, I think, is what will be the best path for you. It is the hardest thing in the world to hate somepony you understand so deeply that you know you could have been just like them if things had gone differently."
"Unless they betray you," said Riddle.
"Unless that," sighed Celestia in agreement. "Let us stop beating around the bush. You are feeling possible resentment towards Silver, yes?"
Riddle did not allow himself to be surprised. He had acknowledged she might figure it out when he was weighing the risks of this conversational topic.
Silver being the source of his 'potential' resentment was obvious enough from the way the conversation had gone. Though it was also the case that Celestia catching on so fast counted as... he'd call it weak evidence that she knew his betrayal was deliberate.
"Correct," Riddle replied.
"What?" asked his employer, sounding surprised. "Why?"
"He feels left behind," said Celestia. "And he thinks Silver might have done it on purpose."
"Correct again," said Riddle. "Though I do not feel left behind. I was left behind. And as you say, I think it might have been intentional." He carefully examined her minute facial expressions. "Was it intentional?"
"I do not know," said Celestia.
"What do you suspect?" Riddle pressed. "Which do you think is more likely, accident or deliberation?"
"I think they are equally likely," said Celestia. "I truly do not know which. And if I did know, I would not be allowed to tell you."
Riddle rolled his eyes. "I do not need you to tell me much of anything, you know. I know Mr. Silver and his friend were watching some memories before the phoenix took them. I know you were there. I know Mr. Silver swore you to secrecy about their contents. I suspect the memories involved the Patronus Cham, and possibly a certain prison."
Ah. She flinched ever so slightly at that. He did not allow himself to read the minds of Alicorns with Legilimency, but he did allow himself to read their expressions, and he had been reading hers carefully. So his guess was probably right.
"The only thing I do not know is if he deliberately set out with the intention of leaving. I do not know if he manipulated Ms. Memory into calling for a phoenix's aid, or if it happened by accident."
He let that hang in the air.
"You mean Silver might have been trying to leave?" asked Twilight Sparkle in the seat behind them. "Oh! That reminds me!" Riddle turned to look at the Element of Magic as she stood from her seat and walked over to a place that she shouldn't be walking. "Fluttershy, can I talk to Discord for one minute?"
"Um... sure," said the Element of Kindness.
"Twilight," said Celestia. Not sternly. Not as an order. Just the name.
"I know, Princess," said Twilight. "I'll be careful. But I have to ask." She turned to face the statue. "Discord, can Chaos magic affect Time and Space?"
"Time and Space?" asked the being of Chaos. "Yuck. Never touch the stuff, except to mess with it. Too orderly. And what does an innocent, harmonious young mare like you want with big, bad concepts like those anyway?"
"So Chaos magic can affect Time and Space?" Twilight asked, not allowing herself to be distracted, even as she got a little excited. This would be her first lead after months of searching. Starswirl's scrolls, which she'd been requesting from Celestia's private library, hadn't been getting her anywhere useful. She wasn't interested in Time loops. "Can chaos magic reach through Time and Space?"
"Sure it can," said Discord. "A big dinosaur here, a UFO there, bing bang boom, you got a chaotic cage match. It's never a fair fight, though. The future always wins, unless I rig the game or micromanage the fighters, but that's even worse." He made a sigh of exaggerated sadness. "Too predictable. It's a real shame, too."
"What about reaching other universes?" asked Twilight.
"Other UNIVERSES?" Discord echoed. "How can you be so sure there's more than one, little mare? What's the matter with this one? Getting too big for it? Maybe stop eating so many cupcakes."
Twilight wasn't bothered in the slightest by the insults, or the sidetracks. She was laser-focused on her goal. "Yes, I'm sure," she said. "There's at least one more universe out there."
"Two," corrected Princess Celestia.
"There's at least two more out there," said Twilight. "Have you ever used Chaos magic to reach a different realm entirely?"
"Other than the Realm of Chaos," he said dramatically, "no. Then again, I haven't ever wanted to go anywhere else. Got somewhere specific in mind? Want me to give it the old college try? All you need to do is let me out of this stuffy stone-"
"Don't even think about it, Twi," said Rainbow Dash. "That dude doesn't have any loyalty in him. He'll double-cross you the second he's out."
"NO Loyalty?" Discord huffed. "I shall have you know that I am UTTERLY loyal to the cause of chaos! I've never not been loyal a single square on my calendar."
Pinkie began giggling on the other side of the room.
"Rrr..." mumbled Rainbow. "I guess."
"And I suppose you shall say you have been generous as well?" asked that Element's current owner.
"Why of course I have! Just look at all that wonderful chaos I shared with the world! You don't think that was easy, do you?"
"Um..." said Fluttershy quietly. "But not all of it was nice. Maybe it would have been just a little more generous if your chaos wasn't mean? Living things love chaos during playtime, but they don't love monsters."
"My dear, as a being of Chaos, I'm being as nice as I CAN be."
"He is bein' honest," agreed Applejack. "Not sure if it's smart to let him out, though. What happens after the college try?"
"Oh, you know," said Discord. "The unusual."
Pinkie began giggling harder.
"Uh-huh," said Applejack flatly. "Thought so. Least yer honest about it."
"I like him!" said Pinkie. "He's so funny. So long as he's not being a meanie."
"A meanie? Moi? How dare thee! How was I the meanie?"
"You made me not laugh, and you made Rainbow not loyal, and you made Rarity selfish, and you made Fluttershy mean, and you made Applejack lie. You tried to ruin our friendship." She began booping his statue's nose. "You. Are. A. Meanie. Sometimes."
"Well, can you really blame me?" said Discord. "You're the elements of Harmony, out to stop the big bad chaos creature. Besides, YOU don't know what it's like to be trapped for a thousand years by stuffy princesses using some stupid glowing rocks who put you in a stupid boring garden with nopony around to hear my jokes and nothing to do but twiddle my thumbs and think about all the things I'll do when I get out and all the ways the Elements would trap me again and all the ways I could stop them from stopping me and all the ways they'd stop me from stopping them from stopping me and- and-" The run-on sentence came to an abrupt end. After a brief silence, the life and emotion had left his voice. "Oh, forget it. I'm throwing in the towel. Tell your great-times-thirty-eight grandfoals that they'll rue the day when yadda yadda yadda."
There was a massive yawning noise, then snoring, then silence.
That was when Twilight heard sniffling noises, which Discord's voice had drowned out. She looked down to the base of the statue to see Fluttershy doing her best to hug him, although it kind-of just looked like she was just leaning on the statue.
"What are you crying for, Kindness?" asked Discord. "You're not trapped in stone."
"But you are," said Fluttershy.
"Yeah, well, I'm used to it."
"You shouldn't be," said Fluttershy. "Nopony should ever have to be used to that."
"Tell that to every prisoner everywhere," said Discord.
"But why do you have to be a prisoner?" asked Fluttershy. "Why couldn't you just be a better pony?"
"What difference would that make?" asked Discord.
"We wouldn't have stopped you if you were," said Twilight.
"Oh, sure you would have. Good, bad, right, wrong, it doesn't matter. Chaos is as chaos does. How it hits and when and where and who is out of my paws."
"Chaos is as chaos does," repeated Twilight, "but Chaos magic is as you do. You didn't have to turn the whole world upside-down."
"You'd be surprised, little Harmony mare," said Discord. "You don't know a thing about my magic. Nopony on Equus does, except me. Nopony can use it but me. If I don't use it all the time, I swell to bursting. If you think yesterday turned everything upside-down, you should have seen that one time I did try to stop for good."
"But what about the thousand years you were trapped?" asked Twilight. "You didn't swell to bursting then."
"I certainly DID," said Discord. "It simply took much longer than usual. Your little glow rocks can slow down my magic a bajillion fold, but they can't stop it entirely."
"Hmm..." said Riddle Tome from the other side of the cabin. "You cannot go to what you called the Realm of Chaos to release the pressure build-up?"
"That would just make me build up FASTER."
"I see," said Riddle. "That is unfortunate. In that case, have you tried sacrifice? Are you unable to sacrifice some of your magic so that the build-up is easier to handle? Or perhaps you are unwilling. Or has that idea simply never occurred to you?"
"Never thought of it," said Discord.
"And now that you have?"
"Hmm..." said Discord, "I guess I could try a bit of permanent sacrifice, but the Chaos magic has to go somewhere, and then it's a choice between me and some-equus else. You really wanna see what it's like for a newbie to handle Chaos magic?"
"What if it were you and everyequus else?" asked Twilight.
"Everyequus?" asked Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, and Riddle at the same time.
Twilight began pacing. "If he gave up enough chaos magic to give every creature on Equus chaos magic," Twilight theorized, "but they each only got a little spark, not a whole lot, maybe that would stop him from swelling all the time. And then we would be able to understand where he's coming from, too. And if it's just a spark, it shouldn't be harmful to us either, and it shouldn't go out of control."
"Or it could go wrong in a million unpredictable ways," said Riddle. "Don't be so confident in untested theories, Miss Sparkle. Especially ones that could prove so disastrous that they destroy the world. Or at least the lives living upon it."
"I am afraid," said Princess Celestia, "that I must agree with him. Twilight, such an idea would threaten the world if it went wrong. It is a brilliant thought, but you must learn to temper your eagerness."
Twilight was heavily embarrassed, but she didn't back down. "Well, what if he did it for one pony to start out? If it works, then he can do it for more."
"A small-scale experiment does not always reflect worldwide results," said Riddle. "How a pony uses chaos magic will likely be vastly different from how a Griffon uses it, or a Dragon."
"Well, what if he gives more than a spark to just a few ponies then?" asked Twilight. "Good ponies who we know can handle it. Like Pinkie."
"That sounds like a terrible idea," said Riddle Tome.
"You're just saying that because you don't like her," Twilight pointed out.
"He is," Princess Celestia agreed, "but I am afraid I must second his advisement. I also do not think giving Pinkie access to Chaos magic would be wise."
"Well," said Twilight thoughtfully, "if it doesn't work he could always take it back, right?"
"Hey, hey, hey," said Discord, "Doesn't the draconequus get a say? My magic isn't a slab of meat to be chopped up and served on a platter."
Twilight, along with almost everypony else in the room, scrunched up their noses in instinctual disgust at the analogy.
"And even if I did go along with it, I don't think Chaos would ever let me take my magic back. No take-backsies is a big part of my power, you know. Why do you think the opposite of chaos is always putting things back the way they were?"
"Well, what are your ideas?" asked Twilight. "Fluttershy's right. You shouldn't have to be trapped in there. Especially if it's for things you... can't exactly control. But we can't let you out until we think of something to fix your problem."
"Sorry," sang Discord. "No-can-help." Then, in a voice that sounded like a hippie, "Chaos just wants to be free, ma'am. Like, all-natural, no chains, just like mother Equus intended." Back in his normal voice, "Chaos would like the idea of spreading to every life on the planet, though. Maybe then the pressure wouldn't always build up through me."
Riddle snorted. "I highly doubt that you are the Chaotic equivalent to a single seer bearing sole responsibility for all of Time's pressure. There is no guarantee that disseminating your Chaos would even lessen your problem in the first place. It might simply spread the problem to others, like a disease."
"Ouch," said Discord. "Not cool, fool. Chaos isn't a disease. You're right to doubt, though. Who knows what will happen? Chaos is as chaos does. Trying to predict it is like trying to predict a dice roll. And trying to manage it never works out either."
"You'd be surprised," said Riddle. "I know someone who has done quite well at managing chaos. In his own words, imposition of order equals escalation of chaos, and it also works in reverse. He once encouraged chaos to better manage those who were causing it, and he succeeded. I myself am decent at manipulating the chaos of a battlefield. It might not be micro-manageable, but it can certainly be macro-managed."
"Yeah, but Chaos doesn't like it."
"Really?" asked Riddle. "Isn't macro-management of Chaos what you do whenever you are free?"
"No. What I DO is I snap my fingers, something chaotic happens, then I go do something else. No management at all. If I don't snap my fingers enough, or for big enough effects, I start feeling bloated."
"It truly does sound like an issue of too much magic in one being," said Princess Celestia. "Why did you never tell us before? We would have tried to help."
"Or you would have tried to get revenge for all the ponies that Chaos has hurt over the years. In this chaotic world, the only thing you can trust is yourself."
Fluttershy pressed herself further against his statue. "That's not true."
"The Element of Kindness is correct," said Riddle, to Twilight's surprise. "Many beings should not even trust themselves."
"HAH!" laughed Discord, while everypony else was frowning. "Good one."
"Couldn't you just snap your fingers for good causes all the time?" asked Twilight, ignoring Riddle's unhelpful contribution. "Instead of a mixed bag?"
"Of course not! If you got three buttons, good, fun, and ugly, and you always press the evil button, it wouldn't be very chaotically random to press the smart button all the time now would it? Same with pulling the 'virtuous' lever. If the magic is predictable by anypony other than the caster, it's not chaos. And even the caster can't think all that hard about what will happen. You get an idea, snap your fingers, and poof! Out comes the chaos."
Twilight absorbed the new constraint. If Chaos fundamentally couldn't be good all the time, they'd have to go with Riddle's original idea of spreading it out to hopefully make it less concentrated, but Celestia said that was too dangerous. She tried to think of a different way to make Discord not have to snap his fingers all the time, trying to think of a different place he could sink his magic, if not ponies... wait, that could work.
"Well then what about instead of putting it into ponies, you put the chaos some place instead? Like... like Chaos town or something. That way it's not hurting anypony who doesn't want to stay there. And ponies who want a bit of chaos can have a place to go."
"That's your best idea yet," said Discord. "But I don't think Chaos would like it. Staying in one place all the time is too boring. Plus, Chaos likes attention, and you ponies hate Chaos outside of small doses. Too DANGEROUS," he said in a mocking voice, as if he thought chaos wasn't dangerous. "Too SCARY. Too MEAN. Too blah blah blah. Nopony would come to Chaos Town," he said sadly. "Or, not enough to satisfy Chaos, anyway."
Princess Celestia was the one to respond to this. "Chaos is not dangerous to you, Discord, but it is to others. You should know that by now. And that is precisely why ponies believe it is scary and mean. If Chaos town was safe, and fun, ponies would certainly visit."
"SAFE isn't CHAOS, my dear," said Discord. "Think of it like a chef's knife. It'll always be dangerous, but only if you don't know how to deal with it. It's only 'safe' for me because of all my practice, and most ponies don't have practice. Not much I can do about that other than give them some practice."
"What if Chaos Town was not meant to be safe?" asked Riddle. "What if it was Chaos Mock-Battlefield instead?"
Ponies turned to stare at him.
"What?" asked Twilight.
"I want to reform Equestria's guards to be less pathetic," said Riddle. "And I cannot imagine how to do that without giving them battlefield experience. Since true battlefields are chaotic and unpredictable, this would be a solution to both problems."
"The guard is not pathetic," said Princess Celestia.
Riddle rolled his eyes. "The invasion of Canterlot speaks for itself, no?"
"A fluke," said Princess Celestia. "Chrysalis relied on deception."
"All warfare relies on deception," said Riddle, seeming to get frustrated. "You had the disguise removal spell available to you. You had it used in key locations. What I do not understand is why its use was not standard practice across the military."
"That would have been too much red tape and effort to guard against what we thought was merely a myth."
"And now that it is not a myth anymore, will it finally become standard practice?"
The guards in the cabin shifted uncomfortably.
"Maybe," said Princess Celestia, frowning at him.
"The correct military answer based on your current knowledge is 'yes'," said Riddle.
"You do not get to make that decision," said Princess Celestia. "I repeat that it would be a lot of work for questionable benefit, now that the plot of the Changelings has been foiled."
Riddle's expression grew even more negative. He turned to face the guards. "Monarch. Viridia. If you would?"
The two guards shifted even more uncomfortably. They have unusual names, Twilight thought.
Princess Celestia's eyes widened, and she turned to face her guards. "No..." she said.
"Please," one of them whispered, not even looking at anypony in particular. "Don't make us."
"Thorax," said Riddle, though Twilight didn't know who he was addressing, "if you would make it an order?"
The two guards, looking pained, went up in a flash of green fire. In their place stood two Changelings, still wearing Day Guard armor. The 'uniform appearance' enchantment had a strange effect on their skin, making them white instead of black, but they were still obviously Changelings.
One of them broke down crying, which stopped Twilight from going on the offensive. It seemed to stop her mentor too.
The one who wasn't crying was looking angrily at Riddle. "Ten years," it hissed in a male voice. That was the only way Twilight could tell the gender. "Ten years of undercover work. Gone. Like that. In one day. Those were original disguises. Way more valuable than one-off mimicry. Thanks, dude."
"Thorax would have revealed you two soon enough," Riddle said without an ounce of remorse. "It makes little difference that it happened now rather than later. "
"You don't know he would!" shouted the male.
"I do know he would," Riddle replied. "Your new King's policy of honest cooperation with Equestria cannot be implemented in two days, but it can be done in a year. I was honestly surprised he let you keep pretending."
"What were we supposed to do?" asked the crying one in a female voice. "Nopony trusts a Changeling."
"I would have," said Princess Luna. "And our sister would have trusted you too, if the news had reached her in time." She stood and walked over to the crying Changeling. "It will be all right. Thou need not be afraid." she said, wrapping her neck around the creature. "Not anymore."
The creature threw up pink juices, which fell into a bucket that Princess Luna seemed to conjure instantly. Twilight would have admired her quick reflexes if she hadn't been so distracted by... by everything.
"What..." said Twilight, "what is going on?"
"Shhh," whispered Pinkie. "This is the good part."
Twilight turned to see that Pinkie, Applejack, and Rainbow were all eating from a bowl of popcorn. Rarity was dabbing at her eyes with a handkerchief held in her magic.
"Encore, encore!" said the voice of Discord, accompanied by clapping sounds.
"Sister..." said Princess Celestia. Her attention seemed to be split in multiple directions, like Twilight's, but she focused it. "Luna, did you know these two were Changelings?"
"Of course," said Princess Luna. "That is why I requested them specifically."
Riddle audible coughed.
"That is, my fool made the request," Luna corrected herself, "and I agreed."
"Why?" asked Princess Celestia.
Luna opened her mouth to reply-
"Because they know the chaos ward," said Riddle. "Unlike a single 'true' member of the guard. And they can cast it rather strongly by themselves." He narrowed his eyes at Princess Celestia. "I understand that pony guards could handle chaos once upon a time, though they needed groups. Now that we are back on topic of the modern guard's patheticness, why exactly was the entire country relying on six mares from Ponyville to save it? Twice in one day, no less. No offense to the six of you," he said to the Elements, "but I imagine you would have appreciated help from the guard when you were being chased."
"I certainly would have," said Rarity.
"Totally," said Rainbow.
"Yup," said Applejack.
Twilight didn't speak. If she did, it would have been like siding with Riddle over her mentor, which is why she didn't speak. She would have liked help in that one particular moment.
"Don't talk to the audience!" said Pinkie, taking another big bite of popcorn.
"And I imagine you," said Riddle, turning back to the Princess, "will be gratified to know that many ponies across Equestria were saved from the chaos of Discord, even though it was Changelings who did the saving, rather than your guards."
"What a chaotic twist!" said Discord. He made more clapping sounds. "LOVE the irony!"
"Is that true?" Princess Celestia asked her sister. Then, turning to face the female Changeling, "You know the Chaos ward?" she asked gently.
The sniffling creature nodded. "Yes, your majesty."
"Hey," said the male one. "It's 'Yes, Celestia.' When we're not disguised, she's not our princess, remember?"
"She's better than Chrysalis was," mumbled the female.
"Yeah, well, she's not our Queen anymore either."
"Even still," said Princess Luna, "thou have been members of the guard for ten years. If thou wish to keep thy jobs, thou will have to address our majesties respectfully."
"Keep our jobs?" asked the male. "We can't do that. We're Changelings. We can't be guards anymore."
"Why not?" asked Princess Luna. "Dost thou intend to quit?"
"No, but-" began the creature. Then it stopped short for a bit. "But- I mean- It's just- we can't be guards. Obviously. Nopony wants to be guarded by a Changeling."
"Sister?" asked Princess Luna. "I believe it is up to you. And Mr. Armor, if he were here, but he is not. They do not wish to quit the force, and I do not believe they have made any fire-able offenses, have they?"
"Hmm..." said Princess Celestia, suddenly looking thoughtful. "No, I don't believe they have."
"Pretty sure treason counts as fire-able," said the male. "And fraud."
"Thou hast defrauded nopony in particular," said Princess Luna, "since thy disguises were original. And thou had no choice in thy roles as spies and invaders. Thy wills had been subjugated by Chrysalis. As her unwilling pawns, thou art not to blame. Unless thou enjoyed the invasion?"
"Of course not!" said the female.
"Then there thee have it," Princess Luna declared. "Resume thy posts."
"But..." said the male.
"Sister?" asked Princess Luna. "They seem to be ignoring the orders of a commanding officer."
"They do indeed," said Princess Celestia with a smile. "Resume your posts, or I will ask Shining to devise a stricter training regiment, just for the two of you."
"Yes, ma'am," they said, snapping to attention and flashing back into the forms they had been wearing earlier.
"Without your disguises, please," said Princess Celestia.
The two looked nervous at that, but then reverted into Changelings.
"Hooray!" shouted Pinkie, clopping her hooves together.
"Good show," said Discord. There was a fbbb noise, as if he'd blown into a tissue. "Very touching."
"I'm surprised you think that way, Discord," said Riddle from across the room. "You didn't seem to me like a being who would care."
"Well, of COURSE I do," said Discord. "Everyequus likes a good ending, and with all those twists and turns, I didn't know HOW it was going to turn out."
"You don't seem to mind the bad endings that came from your chaos," said Riddle.
"Of course I MIND them," Discord said. "But again, there's not much I can do about it. I'd go crazy if I blamed myself or every little bad thing that my chaos magic ever did, just like I'd go egomaniac if I congratulated myself for every GOOD thing. I just learn from my mistakes go with the flow."
"Going with the flow seems like a harmonious attitude to have towards chaos," said Riddle, "not a chaotic one."
"Maybe it's both," said Discord. "Being chaotic ALL the time is ALSO anti-chaos, you know. Gotta throw SOME harmony in there from time to time, just to spice things up."
"Hm," said Riddle. "I suppose so. In a room full of chaotically-attired creatures, a single instance of primness and propriety would stand out the most."
"Exactly!" said Discord.
"But isn't it a contradiction," Riddle asked, "to live in Harmony with Chaos?"
"Sure is," said Discord cheerfully. "I love contradictions! Aren't they just SO chaotic?"
"So..." said Twilight, finally joining the conversation again, "so you wouldn't mind if we tried my idea? You wouldn't mind if ponies tried to live in Harmony with a place dedicated to Chaos magic? Chaos itself wouldn't mind?"
"Nope," said Discord. "Sounds like a hoot."
"Twilight..." said Princess Celestia. "I am still not sure this is wise. It could prove disastrous."
"That's the chaotic point, sunbutt," said Discord. "Could be a disaster. Could be a miracle. Who knows? Just go with the flow."
"It'll probably be somewhere in the middle," said Riddle. "Or a mix of both."
"Spoilsport," said Discord. "Probabilities are SO mood-ruining. You never know how a coin flip will turn out – a perfect microcosm of chaos. Then a probabilitist-" he spat the not-word as if it were a horrible insult "-comes in and tells you it'll be about half-and-half if you flip a million coins. LAME."
"But true," said Riddle.
"That's why it STINKS," said Discord.
"It's either that, or rigging the system to not be random," said Riddle. "Or micromanaging everything, like Harmony would. Take your pick."
"I'll rig the systems of Chaos Town TO be random, thank you very much."
"Then you shall have to live with observable trends and predictability," Riddle stated.
"Not if I do it WELL enough."
"I am still worried about the safety issue," said Princess Celestia. "Chaos Town has the potential to be very dangerous."
"Would you be able to make the place semi-living?" Riddle asked Discord. "Give it something of a will, a strong desire to not allow any living creatures within or near its influence to die as a result of its presence or chaos. Have it prioritize sapient life over non-sapient life. And if it's born of Chaos magic, it should not be difficult to instill a desire to make things surprising... and amusing... and perhaps challenging as well, relative to its visitors. It should be a difficult battlefield."
"Where do you get these ideas?" asked Luna.
"Inspiration, iteration, and innovation," he answered.
"Give it a good heart, too," Twilight added to the Court Scholar's amazing suggestion.
"I could probably make it all of those things," said Discord, "EXCEPT a dedicated battlefield. Chaos would get bored, seeing the same thing over and over again. If one day it's a warzone, then the next day it would probably want to be a peace zone, just for the heck of it. And a good heart would be difficult. Again, all good and no bad makes Chaos unhappy. Maybe a good mind, how 'bout that? When it's in a bad mood, it'll do bad things for good reasons."
"If it's the best you can do," Twilight sighed, "I'll take it."
"Avoid giving it true sapience," said Riddle. "Or the ability to learn faster than a pony. Or the potential to split its awareness into separate parts."
"Course not," said Discord. "I'm not STUPID. But all this is gonna require a LOT of processing power. Chaos magic alone isn't gonna cut it, unless I sacrifice my WHOLE self to make it, and no thanks to THAT."
"Can you have Chaos Town borrow a small amount of mental power from each of its inhabitants?" asked Riddle. "That would allow it to grow in complexity as more ponies visit at a time."
"Good thought," said Discord. "Moony's right, where do you GET these ideas?"
"Elsewhere," said Riddle, and nothing more.
"He comes from a different universe," said Twilight. "One that has more advanced magic than ours."
All the beings in the room except Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, Riddle himself, and one other pony gasped at that.
"He what now?" said Applejack.
"Well-deduced, Ms. Sparkle," Riddle complimented.
"What?" asked the male Changeling guard. "We have an alien in our hive mind?"
"Cool!" said Rainbow.
"Exotic," said Rarity.
"It all makes sense now," said Discord. "Nice delivery too, Missy Magic. Wasn't expecting that at all."
Twilight stood proud. She had figured it out not long after Princess Celestia told her that Silver had returned to his home universe. That meant he was born to a different one. It didn't take much longer to realized that Riddle probably came from there too, wherever 'there' is.
"What, you didn't know?" asked Pinkie.
Faces turned to look at her.
"Pinkie," said Twilight with a false air of patience. "How long have you known?"
"Um... since the beginning?" she asked. "Wasn't it obvious? He acts waaaaaaay different from anypony else." She stretched her hooves out wider than they should have had been able to go for emphasis. "The only thing that made sense was," she brought her hoofs back in front of her chest and made a weird gesture and a strange smile as she said, "aliens. No real pony is that mean."
"I can think of a few," said Princess Celestia. "But we are getting sidetracked. Now that everypony knows why our dear royal fool is so foolish and clever at the same time, we can get back on topic. Discord, do you think building Chaos Town would fix your problem?"
"No clue," said Discord. "Chaotic, isn't it? It would probably help. Yeugh. Probabilities."
Riddle asked the next question. "Are you truly willing to sacrifice your magic to make it?"
"Sure," said Discord. "I've got too much as it is. Can't remember the last time I felt drained. Whenever I'm free, it's always bloat, snap, bloat, snap, bloat, snap. Never three-fourths of a minute to relax, let alone a penny of a day."
"Where would ya even put Chaos town?" asked Applejack.
"Why, everywhere and nowhere, of course," said Discord. "If I give it a mind of its own, it's going to move around like a wandering circus. No getting around that desire. Chaos is all about freedom and change, and that means movement."
"A floating city like Cloudsdale?" asked Riddle.
"More like a floating city one day, a swimming stadium the next, a clawed tentacle monster that eats ponies and keeps 'em in its belly for a week. Whatever fits its jibe."
"It does have to be a place ponies want to go," said Twilight.
"No, it has to be a place beings want to go," Discord corrected her. "Most of the time, anyway. I'm sure it'll get shy a few days or weeks each year. But it could be ponies, griffons, dragons, whatever. Just so long as someone is enjoying the chaos, it'll be happy. If you're worried about the monster thing, clawed tentacle monsters get so BORING after the thirty-fourth time. Best reserved for special occasions. Chances are it'll just teleport when nopony's looking, like me. Or maybe when ponies are looking, just to spice it up."
"We really doin' this?" asked Rainbow. "I repeat, Discord is not loyal. He could flip on a dime if we let him out."
"And I repeat, my dear, that I am very loyal to the cause of Chaos. This is just SUCH a wonderfully chaotic idea, I couldn't stop myself from doing it even if I tried. Let me out and I'll snap it up for ya in a jiffy."
"He's bein' honest," said Applejack. "I still want to know where you'll make it, though. Don't want Chaos town bein' made on my farm or some such, and I reckon a lotta ponies would feel the same."
"The badlands," Riddle suggested, referring to the barren patch of desert and crags in the south of Equestria. "Chaos should enjoy spicing up that bland-"
"Are you NUTS?!" Discord practically screamed. "No. No way. Not for my baby. He'll spice up the badlands when she's good and ready, thank you very much. It needs to be born around chaos, not blandness. We want them to be a happy child."
"So... the Everfree forest?" asked Twilight.
"MUCH better," said Discord.
"Don't forget Zecora," said Rarity.
"Oh, right," said Twilight.
"How long do you think it will take to grow to the point where it gets bored of the Everfree?" asked Riddle.
"Couple-a years, maybe?" said Discord.
"Then put it on the edge of the forest nearest Canterlot," said Riddle. "I would like it to be convenient for the guard to access for the next few months."
"I was thinking dead-center," said Discord.
"If you put it dead-center, how would anypony be able to visit and enjoy the chaos?" asked Riddle. "Plus, isn't dead-centre a bit predictable?"
"Hmm... good point. SOooooo..." he said slowly. "When are we doing this?"
Twilight, Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, and Riddle all looked at each other.
"Sooner rather than later would be best for the guard," said Riddle.
"I concur," said Luna.
"And sooner would be best for him," said Fluttershy, placing a hoof on Discord's stone-frozen paw.
"It would," said Twilight Sparkle.
Everypony looked to Princess Celestia, who was looking reluctantly back.
"I am still hesitant to agree... but for goodness's sake, I shall. On two conditions." She locked gazes with Discord's frozen stone eyes. "Discord, when you are free, If anypony gets seriously hurt from your antics, physically, emotionally, or financially, even if it was unintentional, I reserve the right to revert you to stone."
"Fine, fine, sure. I'll avoid area-effect and pony-effect chaos. If I can."
"And second," said Princess Celestia, "I want you to spend at least one hour each day with Fluttershy. If you do not agree to that condition, I will not agree to release you."
"Consistent schedules aren't chaotic at all," Discord whined.
Riddle's voice interjected. "Then have it be at least a total of three hundred and sixty-five hours each year. Some days you can avoid her completely, others you can spend multiple hours meeting the terms of your parole."
"MUCH better," said Discord.
Princess Celestia frowned. "I do not want him avoiding her completely for half the year, then making up for it with two-hour days."
"Oh, I'd never do THAT," said Discord. "That work-around is WAY too predictable."
"But ya will visit Fluttershy like the Princess wants?" Applejack questioned. "Ya won't work around it some other way, like corruptin' her? Ya won't try to hurt her, or hurt her feelings?"
"Yes, and nope-itty nope-itty no," said Discord. "Cross my fart and hope to pie."
"Uh..." said Applejack.
"If he answered your questions sequentially," said Riddle, "then he gave the answers you wanted to hear."
"Sure did," said Discord. "And honestly, too, just like I've been the rest of this dodecolouge. Ain't that a kick in my fang? Bad Discord. No pressing the honesty button all the time. What am I coming to? I'm gonna have to maybe lie a bunch or at least a little to make up for it."
"Shouldn't we ask Fluttershy if she's okay with it?" asked Rainbow.
"Oh," Fluttershy cringed when everypony's attention turned to her. "I don't mind," she said quietly.
"Then it's settled," said Twilight. "Should we let him out now?"
"On a moving train?" asked Riddle. "One that is currently circling the side of a mountain, with a long drop below us? Should we not wait for a better time to foster enough chaos to free him?"
"The Elements should be able to do it non-chaotically," said Princess Celestia.
"Stick in the mud," said Discord.
"You know as well as I that a chaotic release will take years," said Princess Celestia. "Do you want out sooner or later?"
"Did I say 'sick in the dud'? I meant 'Sick, dude!' Let's try it. Blast away, oh harmony beam. Let 'er rip!"
"Mares?" asked Twilight.
Her friends said, "Ready!" or variations of it.
"On three," said Twilight. "One, two, three!"
When Discord was freed, Riddle was ready to leave at a moment's notice, but the Draconequus didn't do anything chaotic. Or anything at all.
"Well?" asked Ms. Sparkle. "Are you going to go make Chaos Town?"
"Not just yet," said Discord. "Gotta build up more magic first. Wanna give my baby my best, ya know?"
"You intend to bloat yourself on purpose?" asked Riddle.
"Bingo," said Discord, snapping his fingers.
Suddenly, the pink idiot was next to a big circular cage of small balls, and everypony was holding bingo cards.
"Oh, bingo!" said Discord. "Winner gets anti-prune juice!"
He snapped his fingers again, and everypony was wearing the effects of old ponies – walkers, thick glasses, outdated styles of clothing, and make-up that made them look older. Riddle, however, seemed to have actually aged to be ancient, if his aches and pains were anything to go by, and Discord himself looked more wrinkled and ancient than himself.
The creature brought a shriveled paw to his ear. "Eh? Did she say B-four?"
Dissatisfied with the involuntary transformation, but not wanting to shirk his 'guard' duty when everypony else was simply going along with it, Riddle decided to cheat. After it finally reached the point where enough number-letters had been declared that a sequence of some of them could theoretically form a line, he surreptitiously and permanently transfigured his bingo board to have those four tiles in a row with the free center square, put the invisible wand away with a wordless Vajinus, and said, "Bingo."
"What?!" said everypony in the room.
"I don't believe it," said Ms. Dash flatly, who was in a floating rocking chair.
He held up his board and showed the relevant tiles, then held out a hoof to Discord. Riddle accepted his anti-prune juice and, after a few diagnostic charms, drank it, which caused the changes to his body to revert.
Celestia cast anti-magic and anti-illusion spells on the board, both of which failed to dispel the permanent transfiguration.
He grinned.
"So," said his employer over half-moon glasses which looped into a hair-bun, "how did you cheat this one?"
"I don't recall cheating being against the rules," said Riddle. "I don't recall anything being against the rules, in fact. I don't think our chaotic friend established any."
"Far be it from me to criticize rule-bending," said Discord in an old, tired voice while wearing an old, tired face. "But there is such a thing as unwritten rules, young stallion," he said with a wagging finger, which then began stroking a long, white chin-beard. "Well. Young-ish stallion."
"I thought Chaos would hate rules outright," said Riddle.
"Well, sure," Discord agreed. "But if the game isn't fair, then it's predictable isn't it?"
"If you had orchestrated a game that required even a modicum of skill," Riddle said, "rather than pure chance, and if you hadn't put me in a state of genuine old-age as I played it, I might have been more tempted to play along. I'm surprised you even went with bingo. Isn't that the definition of boring?"
"Sure is," said the ancient-looking creature. "The more boring it is, the more it will bloat me."
"Why not just go to the Realm of Chaos that you mentioned and bloat even faster?"
"Hm... good point." He snapped his fingers, and the bingo set-up disappeared, along with the 'elderly' effects. Discord himself seemed to get a bit bigger, but he also seemed to adopt a shade of green. "Oof. Chaos does not like it when I set things back to normal. It's for a chaotic cause, I swear!" The greenness disappeared, leaving him looking like his normal self, only a bit swollen. "Ta-ta for now, ponies. I'll be back whenever, maybe."
He snapped his fingers and disappeared.
Three days later...
The borders of Chaos Town would eventually become amorphous, but for now, Discord chaotically cut out a mostly-random shape in the Everfree, except that one edge was extended all the way to Fluttershy's cabin. This way, the single mother wouldn't have to go very far from his child when meeting his parole officer.
Another border was woven carefully around the hut of the zebra that Twilight had been worried about. Yet another border extended all the way out to the plains in between the Everfree and Canterlot. It extended beyond the forest to include some of the plains themselves, just because all forest and nothing else isn't very Chaotic.
A few snaps established the general ideas suggested by everypony, but mostly Mr. alien; a few more snaps established the constraints; a final snap of Discord's fingers brought the whole thing to life.
"Aren't you just so precious?" he asked. "I think I'll call you... Circus! Say hi to mommy!"
The patch of forest which had just been given a mind for good and a heart for chaos (but could switch them to a mind for chaos and a heart for good at any time) did not reply. It didn't do much of anything, really. It just continued being a forest.
That was a little disappointing.
Discord was certain it had worked. He's half his old size, and Chaos is flowing into himself a thirteenth as quickly as it used to. Much more was going to Circus. The Everfree has enough wells of wild magic to sustain Circus even if Chaos stops providing magic for whatever whimsical reason, but for now, Circus wasn't really doing much with all the Chaos it was being given, as far as Discord could tell.
Well, Circus is a newborn. Maybe Discord shouldn't have expected anything on the first day. Maybe they just needed some examples. And he needs stimulation too, can't forget that. Discord would be staying here for the foreseeable future though, just to make sure she gets a good upbringing.
Now Discord just has to get Circus some outside love and attention, other than his own. Maybe he should go let the fool know Circus is ready, so he can start having his 'battles' here.
Discord will know Circus is growing up, when it has a duration as a shopping mall on the outskirts of a city?
Hope Zecora likes her Rainbow Affro.
Could Discord handle the event if Pinkie was told to sit behind him for a whole day, out of sight?
11251999
Yeah. In the real world, it's often the case that people in high places aren't as competent/intelligent as you'd hope they would be when it comes to things beyond of their narrow sphere of mastery. Many people are also less unbiased than they believe/pretend they are; this is especially true for academics.
Harry's either been murdered, or it was 'just a prank, bro'. Or perhaps timmy was imagining the scenario. Anyway, I suppose I've finished what you've got here
11252898
You have indeed caught up to currently-posted content. In less than two days, too.
11252777
Glad to hear. In my opinion, the ultimate problem with Significant Digits is that it was boring. Hope it stays captivating.
11253435
Yeah, but when I try to force myself to write them, they aren't.
11254332
TL;DR at the end.
A lot to unpack in this comment. First I'll address the "has the professor ever held this point of view?" question. At the end of the Stanford Prison Experiment Arc, in response to Harry asking a question along the lines of "Professor, when you see something dark and gloomy, has it ever occurred to you to try to make it better? Like, if you just taught people the right things, gave them the right arguments, you could change-" and then Professor Quirrell interrupts him with a laugh and says "Sooner you could change the color of the sky" or something like that. I guess my brain remembered that as also pertaining to improving the intelligence of others, not just the morals, but I still think it points to Professor Quirrell not just perferring the Killing Curse, but also fundamentally believing that most people can't change to be smarter or better. Unless of course you force them to be more competent with torture and the Dark Mark, but that wasn't what Harry was asking. The Defense Professor also said: "I have never understood what pushes others to break their bounds, for I never had any," when talking to McGonagall after hearing the Prophecy of Doom. That points to him believing that most people can't change through simple things like 'teaching'. And simple things like 'teaching' was what Harry was promoting, in that particular line of the debate.
Next, about getting rid of wizards with power and status, we actually never see him do much of that, except when he plans to replace them with stronger versions. When he plans to get rid of Lucius, he also plans for Draco (whom he sees as a new and improved Lucius) to take his place. When he kills bureaucrat paper-pushers, it's so competent people can rise to the top of the DMLE. When he kills people who are making the game less fun for him, regardless of whether strategically wise, it's never said who this applies to, or if he restrained himself when it came to useful pieces like Lucius. A lot of what we see him do is often with the end-goal of making Magical Britain stronger. In my opinion, this could also affect his murder habit. You might say this argument is a difference of opinion, since we're weighing subtle, implied evidence more than stated facts.
Finally, yeah, I suppose Voldemort could change all of muggle britain. But it would be more daunting and less personal/effective, since there are WAY more muggles than wizards. And if he tried, he'd basically have to go against the whole muggle world at once, since America and Canada and maybe even some of the European states wouldn't stand idle as Voldemort started changing muggle Britain in the way that Voldemort changes things. Regarding the Statute of Secrecy, it's never stated or implied one way or the other, but I think Voldemort's plan was to amass magical power and followers, maintaining the statute as long as possible until it was no longer tenable. Or striking before the muggles built up too big of an advantage. What I was getting at in Harry's argument, that the Defense Professor might not have known, was that Harry knew cameras and satellites would make the statute break down faster than the Defense Professor was expecting. I guess you're right that the Defense Professor has probably already inferred something along those lines.
TL;DR, I think you're right about a lot of the points you made. If, for example, you made that comment the day after upload, I probably would have changed the chapter in response, touching up some of the things you pointed out. Too late now, though. I know it wasn't perfect, but overall, how would you rate that debate out of 10? I'd like to know what a more enthusiastic HPMoR fan thinks about it.
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Yes, HPMoR canon DOES say that.
Chapter 101: "And to slay something innocent to save oneself, that is a terrible deed. One would live only a cursed life, a half-life, from that day." -Firenze
Feel free to question my HPMoR knowledge all day. I'm a super-fan.
Although you're correct that we see no textbooks/wizards in HPMoR canon phrase it that way, and in this story I wrote that Hermione is quoting various wizarding books. But then again, we don't ever see her reading material either. Remember that this story is a fanfiction of HPMoR. If we see a centaur saying it, and if we see the Defense Professor saying that there are permanent side-effects, I think I'm allowed to world-build such that 'permanent side-effects' could be shortened to 'living a half-life' for the lay man in some of the many books that Hermione read off-screen. Basically, the unspoken history, the unseen world-building that I'm doing in modification of the original story, is that centaurs, who herd/tend to unicorns, coined the phrase long ago, and then some academic wizards thought it sounded accurate and meaningful, so they made sure to always include it in most books involving unicorns.
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Maybe later. That particular chapter was more for the MLP fans than the HPMoR fans.
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+
Why didn't I receive notifications of your replies?
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too few want to learn. Otherwise, Lesswrong would have been popular. The growth of those who want to learn is also too low to even stop the AI ​​apocalypse.
won't it take too long? More radical methods will save more lives.
Harry says Voldemort shouldn't have made Death Eaters worse, but should not force Death Eaters better (at least according to the question of non-magicians)? I do not understand
He was going to kill the crazy eye and almost the entire order of the phoenix. There are a lot of helpful people there.
He already planned to go to war against everyone.
Voldemort is able to enslave all magical states alone in a week.
A blow? Not just enslave everyone with spells?
Difficult to assess because of the annoyance caused by some points, and also because I have not decided and am not going to decide which political system will be better from the existing ones, because I consider this an enormous investment of effort in a very weak improvement of the Titanic hull instead of iceberg destruction.
But even discarding all this, it is unlikely that I would rate it higher than 5.
If anything, I basically rested on the fact that I did not see interesting thoughts (except for the cap, but this is not part of the discussions) and that it was not very interesting for me to read.
P.s. The specifics of Harry's words "people can be changed" are unclear, but most likely this is because I use machine translation.
P.S.S. Magic to attract people to the topic is also a little interesting
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Can't. Needs a sapient life form. "Great creation maintains life and magic of user by sacrificing life and magic of others." HPMoR canon implies that you can't just sacrifice a troll to make a Horcrux. It implies you need human/sapient sacrifice. In this story, I've established that clones of sapient life forms aren't sapient, they're like animals, and thus can't be used to make a Horcrux.
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A lot of people are coming up with a lot of guesses. Nobody has come up with the correct one yet. Which is good. It means people can keep thinking for a while longer.
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Due to machine translation, I understood it this way: literally live 2 times less
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Yeah. I figured it wasn't that exciting. Necessary for plot and whatnot, and politics tends to be boring and divisive, and I'm not a history buff, and yadda yadda yadda. The last pushback I'll give is that when he wanted to kill Moody and Bones and Crouch, he would have immediately replaced them with himself, which is how he might view that as NOT weakening the country.
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Heh. Time for a munchkin and a baga user. We make a horcrux to the queen of beetles of the first level from her clone. Consciousness from a Horcrux to a clone. We make Horcrux 2.0 with this clone.
Repeat as many times as you like)
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I probably don't agree. The dispute about politics between the volumes is important to the plot.
The keeper of the stone is also an important figure.
(I still don't get notifications)
I have purposely postponed this issue until the last chapter. Why didn 't Harry start making all ponies immortal ?
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Voldemort controls use of the stone, not Harry.
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Nah. You have to sacrifice the sapient life form, wherever they are. If the mind isn't in the body, it doesn't count as a valid sacrifice. I already have a solution in mind, but it involves innovating the Horcrux ritual itself to require an outside-the-box sacrifice.
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Immortality can be achieved not only with a stone
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I said, put the horcrux 1.0 in a clone. The mind is in the body. Everything is logical, DM on a pitchfork
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Right. The methods known to Harry while he was in Equestria were: Ascension to alicorn status, Stone of Permanence, and Horcrux ritual. Human/pony sacrifice is off the table, and the Stone of Permanence is under Voldemort's control. That leaves him the one option. I haven't written out the scene, and I haven't decided if it happened or not, but the basic idea is that Luna and Celestia tried, for the longest time, to help other ponies ascend, and they failed over and over and over again. Harsh experience taught them that most ponies do not have the right mindset, or the right circumstances, or good enough luck. You need to solve an important magical problem on your own, and you need to share it with the world for purely altruistic reasons. Those are the requisites known to / believed by Celestia and Luna.
So imagine Harry, as Silver Wing/Life, goes to Celestia and Luna and suggests that they start trying to help other ponies become alicorns. Celestia and Luna both shared that goal long ago, but one of my future chapters pointed out that they now think it is cruel to give so many ponies false hope when, in their experience, none have ever succeeded from their overt attempts at trying to encourage it. So they advise that he doesn't do it, and he reluctantly accepts their reasoning. Or something like that.
Was there any other immortality method I'm forgetting? I guess there's phoneix fusion, but that method is also solely controlled by Voldemort. Same with unicorn and troll fusion.
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The Horcrux ritual that Riddle invented would reject any attempts at recursion. One sapient life must be permanently destroyed to permanently preserve another sapient life. That is the principle upon which his ritual is based. No clone shennanigans can bypass that, even if clone shennanigans can bypass other rituals.
Although If you are suggesting he use the clone body itself as a Horcrux to get around the problem of being trapped in his Horcruxes, THAT is actually a pretty good idea. I didn't think of it myself, and neither thus neither did Riddle. I guess you could say the idea of making a creature instead of an object into a horcrux never occurred to him, just like it never occurred to him to make a Horcrux for someone else. And you're right that it SHOULD have occurred to him. Strange, how I can forget about it when the original canon Voldemort made Nagini one of his Horcruxes. Although I will say that HAVE plotted out an occurrence where he considers making a certain organic object, if not a complete living creature, into a Horcrux.
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can organize a conspiracy to spread the ideas of immortality.
You're missing out on at least 1 other way of immortality - owning a Nightmare Moon makes you an alicorn (+ wish-granting flower + rejuvenation magic + Sombra King's dark magic)
THE SCIENTIST ACCEPTS SUCH ARGUMENTS!? Seriously? Harry would never accept such reasons. Scientists work even if the work is not finished before their death. Yudkowski has an article about how the spread of such ideas delays immortality, killing entire generations.
He can teach these idiots how to motivate properly.
One could at least remember how much effort Harry and Yudkowski put into making people think who don't have the necessary thinking.
If Harry thinks this argument is worth it, then why hurt Draco with KNOWLEDGE?
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She will be. Voldemort mentioned that Horcrux 1.0 has a copy . not the same mind
nope, I suggested else,
11257569
I'm not familiar enough with MLP lore to know about the method you said. A part of the reason why Harry wasn't endlessly searching was laziness and a lack of interest on my part, since what you're describing will start happening the very soon. It's hard to have your characters work towards a goal that they're already working towards. Yeah, it's an excuse, and yes, Harry would have been endlessly searching... but here's the last reason: he doesn't think the pony world is 'real'. After figuring out the stone, he was immediately informed by Hermione about 'Ponyland', and thus came to the conclusion that Equestria really is a fabricated world after all, based on their wishes in order to fulfill their wishes, and so the world would probably collapse when the trap ended. He still searched for new means of immortality, but he was primarily looking for things that would be doable on the human side of things, without access to Equestrian magic. And he found more than one method, but the problem with all of them was always his mentor being a roadblock to mass-implementation.
Therefore, he tried to arrange it so Professor Quirrell, upon release from the mirror, would be the kind of person to help him in his quest to bring immortality to the world. That was his ultimate goal, since as far as he saw it, that was the biggest thing standing in his way of bringing immortality to everyone, humans and ponies alike. If he knew for a fact that ponies are truly real, and would live on after he and Voldemort and Hermione left the mirror, he wouldn't have left it at just that. But in that state of uncertainty, he had to prioritize the sapient life he knew for a fact was real, not artificial intelligence. I didn't write too much about it, but notice that he grew more distant from ponies after Hermione's revival.
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Voldemort said it would be a copy, but Voldemort also mentioned that "Alsso Merlin'ss Interdict preventss powerful sspellss from passing through ssuch a device, ssince it iss not truly alive." -Chapter 102
In other words, anything created by the Horcrux 1.0 ritual does not count as 'alive', and this is coming from the lips of the person who you're suggesting to start being a munchkin in a way that would contradict his established knowledge. Horcrux 1.0 copies do not count as sapient, even on further examination. Remember that the Horcrux 1.0 is based on the cynical theory of how ghosts work, and Yudkowsky repeated over and over that ghosts aren't really alive OR sapient. They do not learn or grow. Thus, the Horcrux 2.0 ritual would reject their sacrifice, since it requires sapient sacrifice. It doesn't matter if the Horcrux 1.0 ghost was put into the body of a living clone. It doesn't change the fundamental problem of 'not sapient'.
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What's the difference "real" or in stimulations, if they are still reasonable? The real Harry would be left behind in this world forever if it meant saving the ENTIRE UNIVERSE from destruction. Especially the one that was created because of him (like the mind of a hat).
incorrect conclusions.
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You posted the same thing twice, so I deleted one of the copies. I've answered your question to the best of my abilities, but it's possible the language barrier is getting in the way of me understanding exactly what you're suggesting. Since you're using translation software, it's possible we're talking past each other.
To answer what I hope you just asked, here are the two major differences between a real mind and a Horcrux 1.0 simulated mind:
1. Real minds are capable of learning and growing. Yudkowsky had Dumbledore and Harry both say that ghosts (and therefore Horcrux 1.0 spirits) can NOT learn or grow.
2. Horcrux 1.0 spirits cannot 'know' magical secrets that can only be passed from one living mind to another. The Interdict of Merlin prevents it. Even if the original mind DID know the magical secret, and the Horcrux 1.0 spirit is an exact copy, the Horcrux 1.0 spirit still won't know powerful magical secrets. This means that on some fundamental level, according to magic itself, ghosts and Horcrux 1.0 spirits are not truly alive.
And if they're not truly alive, they're not truly sapient.
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1. Harry himself is a defective Horcrux and he can learn.
2. Horcruxes are not clones/bodies into which the mind from Horkus 1.0 enters.
Horkus 1.0 is not alive, so all the strong magic is gone.
The clone with the horkus personality is alive, but all the strong magic no longer works and needs to be relearned.
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There was already a sapient mind, or a potentially sapient mind, for Voldemort's 1.0 Horcrux to mix with when he did that to Harry. He might not have been grown, but baby 1 year old Harry Potter was technically a wizard who could learn knowledge bound by the Interdict of Merlin. He was already his own person before Voldemort Horcruxed him, as evidenced by his "Dark Side" being a separate string of neural cognition, not his own typical thoughts. And I've established in this story that clones of people aren't their own people. I based that on the fact that even ponies were fine with murdering all the Pinkie Pie clones in that MLP episode about the clone pool. Therefore, there's no base person for a Horcrux 1.0 to corrupt when putting it into a clone body, and thus there's no sapience at all, before or after.
Furthermore, "Ghosts do not learn or grow, but that is because this is not where they belong," said Dumbledore. Therefore, Horcrux 1.0 spirits do not learn or grow either. They are static portraits. If they must mix with an existing person to qualify as 'sapient', then they're not sapient on their own. If you put the a Horcrux 1.0 spirit into a clone body, it would be like if you put the ghost of Mr. Binns the Hogwarts history teacher into a clone body. He would go through the same motions he did as a ghost, except he would be flesh and bones. Ghosts and Horcrux 1.0 spirits are like a highly advanced, but ultimately still narrow Artificial Intelligence. It's not an Artificial General Intelligence, and it's not a self-learing A.I. either.
And even if that WASN'T the case, even if you COULD get sapience out of Horcrux 1.0 + a clone, you can only ever make one Horcrux per murder, and there's only a single Horcrux 1.0 spirit attached to each 1.0 Horcrux. It's never stated or implied that you can get multiple spirits off of the same device, and I think it would be a stretch to believe that you can, especially since original HP canon suggests it's a one-off. It's just like how you can't get multiple ghosts from the same person. So if you try to sacrifice the theoretically sapient Horcrux 1.0 clone to make your own 2.0 Horcrux, it's just the Horcrux 2.0 ritual with extra steps. You can't do the Horcrux 1.0 and the Horcrux 2.0 at the same time. One sacrifice, one horcrux, regardless of if it's 1.0 or 2.0.
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Voldemort says that Harry didn't have a personality yet, so there was no mind, there was no way to study. After using the Horcrux, the clones will also become sentient.
No, he was no one, those of his non-dark sides appeared as a result of upbringing in a loving family.
How does this follow from this? You are now making a cognitive error, preferring a more moral explanation, when the explanation that they were all reasonable explains just as well.
Unlike ghosts, clones have brains that can evolve. Transfer the ghost - transfer the entire memory, I see no reason why the personality will not appear (at least with time).
I didn't say you can use it multiple times. With my method, you can make an unlimited number of Horcruxes 1.0 with which you can already make a bunch of Horcruxes 2.0.
11259075
Voldemort said "onto the baby's blank slate. It would be a purer copy of myself, with no personality to mix with mine," or something like that. But Voldemort was explaining his past reasoning, not his current mindset. Remember that it's possible for in-story characters to be wrong, and we have evidence that he was wrong. If Horcruxing baby Harry Potter was TRULY a pure copy, their magic wouldn't have resonated out of control. The resonance is evidence against them being the exact same person, even at the first moment after Voldemort Horcruxed Harry. Their magic anti-harmonized out of control right away because they are very close, but not exactly the same. There WAS a person in the baby Harry Potter, one who received the love and affection of his birth parents, which Tom Riddle never had. Getting love and affection from his adopted parents reinforced an existing personality.
Also, the Blank Slate theory has been largely disproven by twin studies. There's a kernel of truth in it, upbringing DOES play a massive part in personality and life outcomes, but genetics determines a whole heck of a lot more than Blank Slate theorists like to admit, including raw intelligence.
And maybe it's just that I'm not understanding the original suggestion, but I don't see how you can get multiple minds from a single mind under the constraints of the story, even using Horcruxes and multiple clone bodies. Like I said, there is exactly one spirit per Horcrux 1.0 device. You can't use a single Horcrux on multiple clones to get multiple minds. The Horcrux spirit is used up the first time you put it into the first clone body. And you can't get multiple spirits off of a single murder. One murder, one Horcrux, and you have to choose between 1.0 or 2.0, you can't get both.
In short, trying to use a single Horcrux 1.0 device to produce 2 mind clones wouldn't work. You can only get 1 mind copy per Horcrux, just like you can only get 1 ghost per wizard death.
Edit: After going back and reading the original suggestion, the grammar is hard to follow (likely due to translation), but the most literal interpretation of what you said is:
1. Create multiple clones of Chrysalis.
2. Sacrifice some of those clones to produce multiple Horcrux 1.0 devices.
3. Put all those spirits into more Chrysalis clones.
4. Sacrifice those final clones to make Horcrux 2.0.
If that is indeed what you originally suggested, I repeat that it doesn't work. The clones don't have minds in the first place. They aren't sapient. You wouldn't be ABLE to sacrifice them to produce either kind of Horcrux. Like I said, the clones themselves don't have minds. You might be able to put another mind into them, but they will never develop one of their own.
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Has the kid already realized himself and was able to feel love? How ?
Not familiar with this theory.
Consume 1.0 horcus, then make 1 more from the original beetle.
Who said Horkus 1.0 needed intelligence?
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Glad you're thinking about the problem, but you're not thinking along the right lines. The problem is partially that I haven't revealed enough hints to the answer yet. I'm currently building up a backlog of chapters so I don't make any continuity errors while uploading, so my uploading slowed down before I could get to the first major hint, which will be in the next chapter or two.
Anyway, I hadn't considered that idea, but Voldemort is NOT trying to destroy the Horcrux ghost of himself in Harry. That wouldn't work with the way HPMoR addressed the Horcrux problem. In Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality, the first version of the Horcrux spell doesn't tear off a 'part of the soul'. In HPMoR, a horcrux isn't 'alive' at all. It's just a collection of neural patterns. It's like a ghost or a portrait, which were world-built in HPMoR to be non-living, non-learning collections of memories and experiences. Except unlike a ghost or a portrait, which imprint onto places and canvases respectively, a Horcrux ghost can imprint on a person and alter their personality. The stronger the will of the Dark Lord who made the Horcrux, the more the imprint overrides the person who touched the Horcrux. But at the end of the day, it's not the Horcrux that's 'alive', it's the victim. In HPMoR, the killing curse wouldn't do anything to a Horcrux-possessed person beyond what it normally does: strike directly at the soul, severing it from the body. In other words, killing the dude outright.
It was a good idea, but keep thinking.
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Yeah, I know. I encountered that article either as I was writing or soon after posting that chapter. I didn't adjust the author's notes after the fact because I didn't want to get too technical. It conveys the general sentiment of what I wanted to convey well enough. Although now I that I'm more self-aware I realize that I was mostly trying to stave off criticism with that comment. Maybe I should just remove it, since it pointlessly bogs down the story. Or maybe I should leave it up, so as not to rewrite history. I do like my stories to be a reflection of who I was at the time of writing; I learn a lot when I go back and read my past stories, especially the author's notes.
I just had an idea.
what if chaos town, one day turned into Screwball?
That be awesome!!!!
What, you don't want an AI-foom style of future for this growing chaos city?
"Come to Wonderland! Wonder what will happen next!
HappiestChaoticist place onearthEquis!".11257650
Not only would Harry regard Equestria as artificial, created as wish fulfillment by the mirror, but I do also. Consider that all the activity inside Equis takes place in a single instant outside of the mirror. Consider that even Discord in this universe won't consider going to another universe, and doesn't want to deal with space-time.
Everything points to this world being contained inside the mirror in a single instant of time -- so the entirety of it's "space-time" is a moment of reflection.
Also: Weakness, stupidity, and bluntness? ...
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From Voldemort's perspective, Kindness is equivalent to Weakness and Stupidity. Especially when 'Kindness' starts sympathizing with eldtritch abominations that can destroy the world. And honesty is equivalent to bluntness, again from his perspective. Not saying I agree with those perspectives, but you've got to give the devil his due when you're writing from his point of view.
Missing an end quote
Missing a period
Creative and very unexpected, Equestria exists in a different flowing time zone... reminds me of my displaced story with adjustable time flow.
If Dumbledore can perhaps adjust its time running in comparison to the rest of the other side of the mirror?
Isn't Dumbledore now part of the mirror as it's gatekeeper?