Three Poems for Discord

by Slipshod Extension

Bonus: I Am the Very Model of a Solar Princess Alicorn

I am the very model of a solar princess alicorn,
Behold my incandescence as I light all Canterlot each morn,
Of Elements of Harmony I know the names and bearers too
I've pony friends in ev'ry place, arrayed in ev'ry pastel hue!
I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters strange and magical,
My arcane taxonomy was once counted brave and radical,
Of spells and mystic theory I have kept abreast in ev'ry age,
And if not for my student I'd still be history's greatest mage!

I run my bureaucracy with the skill of lifetimes manifold,
I treat with drakes and griffons and my bonded word can trade for gold,
In short, in camaraderie, ministration, and wisdom worn,
I am the very model of a solar princess alicorn!

I lived our mythic history, King Sombra and dark Nightmare Moon,
I faced the ancient terrors at whose names young ponies sob and swoon,
A thousand years I raised the sun and shepherded her lunar twin,
And suffer'd in silence endless reminders of my sister's sin;
I cultivated Canterlot from a forgotten mountain fort,
I wrote the whole of pony law, each sacred right and traffic tort,
I know my subjects each by name; with gifts at humble huts I call,
And sabotage each year my insuff'rable nobles' fav'rite ball!

Yet let it not be said of grace and class that I am ignorant,
With poise impeccable I trot from lofted hall to campaign tent,
In short, in majesty, in historical deeds and duty sworn,
I am the very model of a solar princess alicorn!

In fact, when I can overcome a bull-man and a pink preteen,
When I can tell at sight my adopted niece from a Changeling Queen,
When I have won a fight against a recent threat to Canterlot
(For though in ages past I did great deeds, these days, I'd rather not)
When I put down my cake and reinvigorate my muscle tone,
When by villains of the week I no longer can be overthrown,
In short, when I take up the martial work that I have long disowned,
You'll say a better solar alicorn has never sat a throne!

For though parades of disasters march on us beneath skies darkling,
When evening comes, I'll leave solutions to my protégé spark'ling;
But still, you can't deny as by triumphant dawn the clouds are torn,
I am the very model of a solar princess alicorn!

Author's Note:

Pirates of Penzance is well-known and public domain, but it doesn't feel right to do this without some sort of citation. So I guess that's what this is!

Comments

[The Unremarkable Author]

Haven't read the story yet, but just wanted to say that the cover was really cool.
Who made it?

[Slipshod Extension]

10508653
Artist is one Dahtamnay on Tumblr. If you click (or tap) on the lower-right corner of the cover image, it should take you to the source! Assuming the author has provided that information.

[Gay For Gadot]

Y'know, I honestly don't know enough about poetry to give any constructive critique here. But I really enjoyed this. All of the poems seemed very well-done and lyrical. There was a definitely tempo to them. My favorite was definitely this bit from the third poem:

Abstractions and
distinctions

and they
Cut me

vivisected

limb

from

limb

with blades
of
measured sound.

Just, ooooh. Chills down the spine for me.

I would highly suggest adding your story to some groups to get some more eyes on it. I also linked this to another writer on here who has done some poetry. Hopefully he'll pop up in your comments sometime. Have a fave for sure though!

[Slipshod Extension]

10539315

You're very kind--thank you!

I'd probably be embarrassed to have this stuff seen by a proper poet--I think my structure's pretty hackneyed--but I appreciate your sharing the piece nonetheless! Glad you enjoyed the poems!

[PresentPerfect]

hah :D