Twilight swallowed down her panic and tried again, focusing on clearing the haze in her brain. Nothing. Not a peep of Rarity. The space in her mind where Twilight could once peer through to see the words and thoughts of her friend seemed gone now, not so much a vacant void as simply nonexistent. It was like looking for something without eyes; she lacked the tools required to see. It was frightening and worrying and disorienting and terribly, terribly normal. The bond had terminated. Twilight was once again alone in her own head.
She had a feeling she should be happy about that. She wasn’t.
The fact that she wasn't in a disoriented delirium told her that the bond had likely severed of its own accord, brought on by Rarity's transformation. The sequence of events leading up to the sudden disappearance of the other pony's mind were a bit of a blur in Twilight's memory. She was fairly certain she knew what had happened, but despite having mental footnotes from a first hand source, she wasn't sure she could believe it. Rarity… a princess? Fully grown and with royal authority? Twilight didn't know such a thing was even possible, and yet by all rights, her friend was probably sitting on Canterlot's throne right now. No doubt clad in the first royal dress ever designed by the princess herself. The idea made her smile, but also brought to mind the idea of adornment, and the fact that despite the link having finally dismissed itself, Twilight still didn't have the Element of Magic back. She'd expected it to return when she and Rarity we no longer linked by it, and its continued absence wasn't doing much for the state of her worry.
“You’re sure she's alright?” Applejack asked. She had served as a liaison between Twilight and the bridge, as the unicorn was unwilling to leave Windswept bound on the floor without some form of friendly company, and Fluttershy wasn't much of a conversationalist. With little to report from topside save for horror stories of Pinkie Pie reciting sea shanties with lyrics the likes of which Twilight had never imagined, Applejack had recently returned to check up on the pair, just in time for Twilight's cry of alarm when her link to the white unicorn went dead. Both ponies had stepped out of the cargo hold and onto the lower decks in a futile attempt to boost Twilight's reception, and had little to show for their effort.
“Yeah, I think so,” Twilight replied. “There was no immediate threat when it happened. Rainbow and Luna were both with her. It must have had something to do with the transfer of royalty.”
“I didn't even think you could DO that,” Applejack muttered in response. “The idea of somepony bein’ up on Celestia's throne that isn't Celestia is hard enough to swallow as it is, let alone it bein’ Rarity.”
“But you felt it?” Twilight asked, more as a means of confirming her own sanity than to check Applejack's sensory perception.
The earth pony nodded. “Yeah, I felt it,” she replied, and snorted. “Princess Rarity.” Twilight waited for the inevitable comment regarding Rarity's predisposition toward abuse of power and lack of priorities, but was left surprised when Applejack made neither. “Good,” she said simply. “She'll take care of Canterlot.”
Twilight blinked, taken aback by her friend's atypical response. “You think so?” she asked cautiously.
Applejack raised a brow at her. “‘Course I do,” she replied simply, “why?”
“Well I,” Twilight said, tripping over her words, “it’s just, I know you two are friends and all, but I always sort of got the feeling you didn't think much of her on a… practical… level.”
Applejack laughed and leaned on the rail that protected her from a swift fall into the cold depths of the ocean below. “Twi, Rarity is a fussy pony,” she said matter-of-factually. “She has always been a fussy pony. What she sees in fancy dresses and yard after yard of expensive sheep fluff I'll never understand.” She shook her head in amusement, but leveled her eyes at Twilight afterward. “But I've never doubted her dedication. Her willin’ness to get dirty maybe, her ability to handle a days worth of heavy liftin’ too. But never her tenacity.”
The earth pony looked out over the water, toward the now invisible shoreline.
“I've lived in Ponyville all my life, sugarcube. I was there when Rarity started her little dress operation out of the garage of her parent’s house.” She smirked, “We laughed, Big Mac and I. Never figured a fancy dress shop would get anywhere in Ponyville back then.” Her smirk widened at the memory. “When Rarity sold enough dresses to get the old shop she's in now, I ate my words for dinner. No pony bought it for her. She tilled that field herself, and the odds were against her. It was only one level back then, all run down and old. She slept in the attic because she'd spent every last dime she had buying the place and wasn't willin’ to leave it alone at night. Probably the closest to 'camping' that mare's ever done.”
Twilight had never pondered how Rarity's business had actually come into being. For some reason she'd assumed it had been inherited. The idea that Rarity had built the entire thing from scratch, quite literally, was impressive. “It didn't always look that way?” Twilight asked. Applejack snorted.
“Shoot no,” she said, “that used to be a corral, long time ago. That's why it’s so open and round on the inside. For show ponies and stuff.” Her face lit up a bit at the memory, and she chuckled, hiding a blush. “You should have seen it, Twi. I was a bit younger back then, so, you know, bit more easily swayed by the uh… charms of the opposite sex. They used to hold a rodeo in that place that featured some of the finest examples of stallionhood you've ever laid eyes on. Granny Smith darn near wouldn't let me go watch,” she winked, “for good reason.”
Twilight laughed at the idea of a teenaged Applejack swooning on the sidelines for some bucking bronco from out of town. It was humorously out of character for a pony Twilight knew to be infallibly level-headed.
Applejack grinned at the memory herself. “I always used to tell Big Mac he should compete, but you know him. He's never wanted to be one in the spotlight.”
Twilight bit her lip to keep from responding. She hadn't relayed Rarity's discovery about Big Macintosh's membership in the single most important group of ponies in Equestria to his sister yet, figuring that if Mac had wanted her to know he would've told her himself. Not in the spotlight perhaps, but no less important.
“She didn't fix the place up on her own, you know, bein’ Rarity and all,” Applejack continued, “but she made the money to make it happen. Talked to the right ponies, held her own shows, connected and networked and everything. I know what hard work looks like, Twi. Rarity may not do the sort of work I can really wrap my head around, but she does the work. All day, everyday. Hardest working pony I know. Built her empire from nothing but dirt, and she did it all by herself.” She made a sour face. “I think that's why she frustrates me so much. I just can’t figure out why she can't put that kind of energy into something more important than… dresses.”
She snorted, and looked oddly distant.
“I Imagine she's doin’ that now, keepin’ Canterlot in one piece,” Applejack said finally. “She’s the right pony for the job, Twi. Were it any other time, I'd question Luna's sanity. But there's a crisis going on up there and ponies need her help. Rarity won't let them down. She'll get those ponies together and protected if she has to go door to door personally to make it happen. Ain't never been a job that needed doing that Rarity couldn't find a way to get done, not when she knew it had to happen.”
Twilight smiled. Her connection to Rarity had made her innately protective of the other unicorn, and hearing Applejack's vote of confidence helped ease her worry. She turned her thoughts outward as she stared off the deck of the Sunrise toward the sea. By now the ship had traveled well beyond the sight of Equestria and was swiftly approaching open water, which had put its sailors on edge. Pinkie Pie still had command, but every league they traveled toward the horizon was another chip on every pony's shoulder. This crew had never been beyond Equestria's borders before, and as far as they were concerned, never should be. Thankfully, no rumors of their mysterious cargo had yet drifted out among the ponies manning the vessel, but the open ocean itself had its fair share of foreboding stories and mystery attached to it. While nopony was entirely certain of the reason behind Equestria's policy of not traveling too far out, most were convinced they were in place for good reason.
Fluttershy dropped suddenly down from the upper deck, hovering just outside the rail in front of Twilight and Applejack and causing both ponies to jump backward in shock. She was instantly apologetic, and landed on the deck with her hooves crossed nervously.
“Sorry!” she said, “I didn't mean to scare you, its just um,” she pawed at the decking, ashamed of her impolite arrival. Twilight smiled at Applejack, but said nothing. This sort of thing happened so often with Fluttershy that to attempt to ease her worry was a futile effort. Telling her 'It’s okay' would only make her worry about just how 'okay' it actually was. She continued on her own, after a moment. “We're getting close to the border, and the Admiral says that-”
“The 'Admiral' is still Pinkie, sugarcube,” Applejack reminded her, “try not to let her get too inflated or she'll go floating off the boat.”
“Oh, sorry, um… well I wouldn't, but she keeps hitting everypony.” Fluttershy made a face. “She says it’s the sailor's way, but um, I don't think the sailors like it much either. Although it does seem to work...” She suddenly realized she'd strayed off topic and shook her head, “Anyway, she says that they've spotted something out in the distance through the telescope. They don't know what yet, but something is waiting out there.”
The other two ponies looked at each other warily. Twilight set her expression firm and cleared her throat. “Our cover story is going to fall apart here pretty soon either way,” she said with a decisive tone. “Once we get to the border and find one of Windswept's 'Wells', we're going to have to drop the act and dive in. I'm going to go get her untied.” She turned for the hatch into the cargo bay. “You two head up topside and make sure no pony gets too over-enthusiastic. We don't want to provoke a fight. We already know they're willing to kill the princess if we don't behave, and if we start looking too confrontational...” she didn't finish. She didn't need to. Fluttershy's eyes were wide and worried and she nodded wordlessly. Applejack looked more composed, but she felt the pressure too. They were walking a knife's edge. It would be one thing if the kelpies were holding the princess for ransom and wouldn't receive it if she was hurt, but they weren't. They wanted Equestria's military, and if they couldn't get it, killing her would be the next best thing. That she was still alive at all was almost a courtesy, and no pony wanted to push their luck.
“C'mon, sugarcube,” Applejack said to Fluttershy when Twilight had turned for the door. “Let’s go make sure the 'Admiral' hasn’t already ordered everypony to the cannons.”
“EVERYPONY TO THE CANNONS!”
Pinkie's voice rang out over the ship's long, hollow communication tubes, echoing out of the fluted horns as a shrill command from on high. Applejack felt her heart jump up into her throat.
“Oh no!” Fluttershy yelped. “What is she doing?!”
Applejack's response was drowned out by a sudden explosion of water off the side of the Sunrise. The ship listed hard in the opposite direction and sent both ponies careening into the bulkhead, but it recovered a moment later and Applejack was back upright. Her hooves dug into the wooden decking and she dashed for the bow, determined to figure out what Pinkie had gotten them into. Fluttershy was behind her, leaving Twilight and Windswept within the ship's holds.
The situation on deck was deceptively quiet. Shorthanded as the Sunrise was when it left port, only four of it's already meager ten gun complement were manned, with green sailors scanning the horizon frantically in every direction for a target. Pinkie Pie, still in the guise of Admiral Magenta McGorgamaforg, had her now infamous smoking pipe clenched in her teeth and was standing atop what Applejack knew to be her party cannon: a largely harmless device, save for its effects on a room's paintjob and wallpaper. But it looked formidable enough and was the only gun facing forward. Applejack just hoped she wouldn't have to fire it.
“Steady...” Pinkie cautioned. “They're out there somewhere.”
“Just what do you think you’re doin’?!” Applejack hissed when she got close enough to do so without being overheard by the crew. “Have you forgotten who they've GOT?”
“They fired first!” Pinkie replied defensively, removing her pipe from her mouth for a moment. “There was this shape waaay out on the horizon, and then it disappeared into the water, and then boom!”
“ADMIRAL!” one of the crewmen yelled, pointing. There was a swell in the water some distance away. A massive hump, like a whale moving just below the surface, glossy and dark, dark blue. It descended a moment later, and a low thud could be heard.
“Just like last time,” Pinkie muttered, and put the pipe back in her mouth. “HOLD ON TO SOMETHING!” she thundered, returning to her grizzled, nautical character. Applejack blinked at the command, but everypony else latched hard to the ship's railings. There was another explosion of water, like before, but off the other side of the ship. It rocked harder this time, listing to the starboard side. Applejack hadn't been ready, and skidded along the decking, scrambling for purchase. Pinkie had secured a hoof to her party cannon, which was apparently secure in its own right, and reached for her friend's flailing arms but fell short. Applejack slid at dangerous speed toward the rail, until the yellow shape of Fluttershy scooped her upward, holding her aloft as best she could until the ship stabilized. She was panting by the time she put the larger earth pony down on the deck, but she'd gotten the job done. Applejack breathed a sigh of relief, and gave her shy friend a smile.
“No damage,” Shipshape reported once she'd secured her footing. Despite her prognosis, the crew themselves looked more than a little shaken up. The first officer knew the feeling, beyond the simple fear of facing an unknown opponent, there was a certain aggravation that came from being attacked by an enemy you couldn't see.
“They must be missing on purpose,” Fluttershy said over the chatter of her own knocking knees. “They've got to know we can't hit them while they're underwater!”
“Actually,” came a new voice from the stairway, “they don't.”
Windswept had emerged on deck, with Twilight behind her. Both ponies looked concerned, but Windswept's expression was a bit less confused and a bit more grave. The look of somepony who knew her enemy, rather than simply knowing an enemy was around. There was a collective dropping of jaws from every pony on deck as the kelpie walked on the tips of her fins and flippers, mimicking the four-legged gait of her unicorn companion. Pinkie pulled her pipe from her mouth and held it threateningly over her head as she stared down the crew, who promptly collected their senses and turned urgently back to scanning the seas.
Shipshape's eyes narrowed. “Shouldn't that be tied up?” she asked in a low tone.
Windswept raised a brow and grinned slyly. “Why?” the kelpie asked, “Did you like the view?”
Twilight cleared her throat. “The uh… prisoner knows her role in this,” she said, with the hope that her presumed authority would be enough to prevent further questions. It had so far, but now that the ship was under fire, Shipshape was less eager to simply go along with things. She set her jaw and opened her mouth to protest, until Applejack put a hoof on her shoulder.
“Easy sailor,” she said, “you've gone this far, right? Stick it out to the end. We know what we're doin’.”
“THERE SHE BLOWS!” Pinkie yelled above the conversation. The massive swell that had been skulking underwater emerged on the surface with a crashing of the waves, and Windswept went to the rail to look with Twilight and the others in tow. Pinkie was restraining a giggle. She'd always wanted to say that.
Whatever it was, it moved with a slow, restrained power that seemed to dwarf the Sunrise. Its passing pulled the ship in the water by means of the displacement it made, and the dark, foreboding ripples extended behind it beyond twice the Equestrian ship’s size. Windswept scowled.
“Sweet apple acres, it’s enormous...” Applejack breathed quietly, but the kelpie shook her head.
“It’s smaller than it looks,” she said, “they're trying to bait you into firing. There's never been a direct confrontation between kelpie ships and Equestrian ones before. They don't know much about what your cannons can do.” She chuckled mirthfully. “Neither do I, for that matter. They're in a Wakeroller. It’s not even a military craft. They're used to help control the tides, and they're really good at pushing water around. Helps with construction.”
“It’s a tug boat?” Shipshape asked in disbelief.
“Sounds like it,” Twilight replied. “Can it actually hurt us?”
Windswept nodded. “Oh yes. That's probably why they brought it. One thing we DO know about land ponies is they can't breath underwater. Wakerollers won't do anything more to a kelpie ship than just shake it around a little, but it could flip this ship completely over if it worked at it hard enough, and it won't have to come to the surface to pull it off.” She put a contemplative flipper to her chin. “That explains how they planned on keeping the upper hand against the Equestria navy without using military ships. Not a bad choice when it comes to fighting ponies that can't swim.”
“We can swim,” Applejack protested.
Windswept smirked. “Sure you can,” she replied.
Twilight cut off Applejack's retort by yelling back toward Pinkie. “Get the crew to stand down,” she instructed, “they've got the upper hoof here. We don't want to provoke them until we know what's going on with the princess.
They wouldn't have long to wait. The Sunrise rocked slowly as the waves from the form under the water hit it in the bow, and Windswept narrowed her eyes.
“They're surfacing,” she said, and turned to Twilight. The purple mare looked at the kelpie, as though awaiting further instructions, but all Windswept had to offer was a shrug. “It’s your move, Twilight,” she said. “They'll probably send somepony out to receive Equestria's surrender. How you handle it is up to you.” She gave the unicorn a sympathetic look. “Sorry, Twilly,” she said softly, “I wish I had a better suggestion.”
Twilight swallowed in an attempt to clear the dryness in her throat, and nodded. Shipshape raised a brow as the purple unicorn walked nervously toward the bow of the ship to face the slowly rising black shape, which was now doming out of the water. Its hull was smooth and dark blue, with a hydrodynamic taper in its shape and a bank of windows in its front. Silver filigree of alien design graced its curves, but the swirls and locations of it seemed familiar. Land and sea ponies alike seemed to share a taste for decoration.
The opposing vessel rose out of the water enough for the bank of windows in its bow to sit level with the top deck of the Sunrise, and remained there, silent in the moonlight. The crew seemed unwilling to so much as blink lest it shatter the silence: they were looking at something that most of them had dismissed long ago as nothing by an old mare's tale. Ponies that lived in the ocean instead of in Equestria. Sirens of the deep. Stories, that was all. Yet, here they were, and presumably there was a whole nation of them somewhere deep beneath the waves. Twilight sighed and glanced at the moon high overhead, blinking the sleep out of her eyes. It had been a very, very long day, and it wasn’t over yet.
The stars...
Twilight's eyes widened slightly. She hadn’t noticed until just now, staring skyward, but the four stars she'd seen vanish into the moon when Nightmare Moon had been released were missing. They'd returned after that night and been there ever since, but they were gone again now, she was sure of it. Motion caught her vision and made her glance toward the horizon. A single point of white light was vanishing just behind the clouds. Frantically she scanned in other directions. Another, to the south, was slowly disappearing beyond the horizon. She caught the slightest hint of a third to the east, but by the time she'd turned toward back toward the kelpie ship in front of her, it had surfaced completely and blocked her view toward anything behind it. She knew it had to have been there, though. The four stars that had helped the mare in the moon escape her prison were descending.
The urgency of the situation was far more than she'd considered. They didn't have days; they had hours. Nothing had been stepped up. There was no reason the stars should be moving faster than prophecy had foretold, and yet Celestia had only been captured today, just before sunset. Variables flashed through her mind. How long it would take to subdue Princess Celestia. How long she and the others had spent walking from place to place. How Windswept had kept Twilight from escaping by denying her a place to escape to while they spoke at the bottom of the canal, the best way to trap a pony that could teleport at will. How the kelpies had tried to provoke a fight before surfacing. Something clicked in Twilight's head.
“I know where she is...” she whispered.
Clock is ticking, Twilight. Clock is ticking.
Twilight Sparkle was not prone to impulsive decisions. Of all the ponies in Ponyville, it was Twilight who spent the most time planning and revising, checking every list twice before being content enough with them to even call them lists, rather than scribbles. Measure twice, then measure with three other rulers, then get two other ponies to measure it and compare results, THEN cut once; that was Twilight. So when the doorway set into the window bank on the kelpie ship slowly slid open, everypony on the Sunrise expected her to execute a carefully thought out, targeted negotiation for the return of Princess Celestia.
“Pinkie!” Twilight yelled as the silhouettes of kelpies appeared in the doorway. The pink pony perked her ears. “DUCK!”
Pinkie Pie was not a pony to question an order to move impulsively. She dropped to the deck immediately, just as the fuse to her party cannon which Twilight had lit magically mere seconds earlier burned to the bottom. There was a thunderous explosion of confetti and streamers contained within glimmering wrapping paper that rocketed from the barrel toward the doorway of the kelpie ship. Twilight's horn flickered, and she sparked out of existence just as the ball of galeforce friendship shot through the space she'd just been occupying and out across the water, hitting the kelpies in the door of their own ship and exploding into a joyous sounding of sparkles and horn blares.
Party or no, a cannon is a cannon, and the boarding party was knocked clear off their flippers. Twilight sparked out of her teleport on board the kelpie vessel and didn't miss a beat, charging down the hallway toward the belly of the ship. She could hear yelling and alarms behind her as doors slammed open and kelpies of various shape and size rushed into the halls to respond to the intrusion. Twilight saw every color of the rainbow, just like on any other pony ship, but the walking was clumsy. This hallway was meant to be swum in, but it was dry. It had been dry for a while; there were no puddles to speak of. The unicorn grinned. She was right. It was dry because somepony here couldn't breath underwater.
Magical energy ricocheted off the walls as Twilight teleported past the grabbing flippers of the ship's crew, moving inextricably downward toward what she could only hope was the cargo hold. She fired shafts of blinding light behind her and slammed as many doors as she could, forcing her pursuers to waste time opening them. Negotiating the stairways was difficult; they were made for a different set of “legs,” but it wasn’t impossible, and she managed to keep her speed up. When she spotted the large, barred double doors set into a reinforced wall, she narrowed her eyes. This was it.
I need these doors to open, she thought to herself. If I have half the right to hold the Element of Magic, I need these doors to OPEN.
Her vision blazed white, causing the outlines of the architecture around her to burn in her retinas as hard, black lines and the colors to explode in intensity, and all at once, the heavy doors in front of her blasted off their hinges. Startled cries from within were muffled by the sound of the doors rattling across the decking as Twilight charged in and skidded to a halt.
“PRINCESS!” she cried.
Chained in the middle of the room by all four legs and her neck, was Celestia. Her wings had been bound tightly to her body and there was a hood over her head and horn, tied on and trapped there by the heavy metal collar that secured her neck to the ground. She couldn't see. But she could hear.
“Twilight?” Celestia responded, surprise in her voice. Twilight's heart leaped, but she restrained her excitement. The guards were swiftly recovering.
“Princess!” she said urgently. “You're not underwater anymore! We're on the ocean's surface, there's a friendly ship three hundred feet in front of you. Teleport up twenty feet and forward three hundred and you'll land safely! Quickly!”
Celestia didn't argue. The hood on her head glowed from the magic it was shrouding, and there was a sudden spark of violet light. A moment later, the princess' shackles fell empty to the floor. Just as Twilight had been denied an escape from Windswept by not knowing where it was safe to teleport to, Celestia had no point of reference by which to plot her own teleport. Without knowing where to begin, it was impossible to know where you could safely end. Short of killing every kelpie on board, Celestia had been effectively cornered. Twilight heard the shouts of angry kelpies approaching from the hallway, and cast one last, brief, furious stare toward the guards before she herself vanished in a flash of light.
“FIRE ON THAT SHIP!” Pinkie roared, and kicked her party cannon into an upright position, dumping an entire coat-full of unlit smoking pipes into its barrel in place of a cannonball and swiveling it to aim at the kelpie craft. Fluttershy was frantically tending to the princess, who had appeared a few feet overhead from midair not seconds earlier, and Shipshape and Applejack were spinning the ship's wheel hard to starboard to bring the main guns to bare. Twilight appeared with just enough time to duck as the salvo of spinning pipes rocketed over her head and shattered through the wakeroller's windows. Pinkie erped and chuckled nervously as Twilight shot her a furious look.
“Don't waste time shooting at it,” Twilight yelled, “just get us out of here! It can still sink us!”
It seemed intent on doing just that. Losing the windows was little concern to a crew that could breath underwater, and no sooner was the ship half submerged than the local tides began to roll and dip violently. Waves crashed against the side of the Sunrise as it rounded back toward Equestria, but without any forward momentum they were drifting backward as quickly as they were gaining speed.
“We can't break free!” Shipshape cried out above the noise of the surf. “The engines were never meant to work like this, water doesn’t flow this way!”
Twilight could hear the whine of the gears down below as the currents behaved in ways the ship's mechanisms were never intended to compensate for. The screws were turning, but they weren’t biting the water as they should be. The wakeroller seemed to have control over how the ocean flowed about the vessel. Sweat beaded on her brow as she formulated other plans. So close, they were so close...
There was a sudden, horrific crash and an explosion of water behind them. Twilight figured it must be another one of the bursts the kelpies had fired earlier, until she realized there was no longer a reason for them to be intentionally missing. She turned toward the eruption, and her jaw dropped in awe.
The wakeroller had been lifted completely out of the water, held aloft by a massive, opal colored arm of interlinking, beautifully sculpted armor. It coiled around the vessel like the tentacle of an octopus, and Twilight could hear the timbers of the ship's ribbing crack like bones in its gleaming grip. The wakeroller split in two and crashed into the ocean, sending up great gouts of seawater that soaked the deck of the Sunrise. Twilight spat it from her mouth and wiped her eyes clean in time to see the moon blotted out by tall, pointed spires that matched those of the palace itself in Canterlot, each one a glimmering beacon of white in the moon-soaked night. Those mighty mechanical tentacles could be seen coiling outward so far they vanished in the distance, and the spires reached toward the stars, pulling more and more of castle-like structure out of the ocean with them as they traveled ever higher. By the time the entirety of the structure had emerged, the Sunrise was little more than a mouse beside a cathedral, dwarfed by even the waterfalls of seawater that drained from the donjons and bulwarks of the mighty pearl palace.
“Oh, no,” Twilight whimpered, her lip trembling, “what now?” Her legs quivered under her as the oppressive sight of the structure shrouded the ship from the moonlight. Exhaustion was catching up to her rapidly. The running and the repeated teleportation had taxed her already dwindling energy and the adrenaline from the princess' rescue was draining fast. “We came so far...”
“That you did, little one.”
Twilight looked behind her and saw Celestia's smiling face. She flung herself into the larger pony's arms and clung tightly to her, and Celestia ran a comforting hoof over her student's head.
“It’s done, Twilight,” she said softly. “It's done. You succeeded,” she couldn't help but chuckle softly, “as I knew you would, my student. Thank you.”
Twilight choked back the tears that were threatening to overtake her while her body struggled through exhaustion to decide if Celestia's return marked the conclusion of the night's quest or if the sudden appearance of the towering, tentacled palace marked the start of some new nightmare. Celestia's smile calmed her enough to stare up at it again.
“What… is it, Princess?” Fluttershy asked in a trembling voice, and looked toward Celestia. But it wasn’t the tall white pony who replied. It was Windswept, who was gazing upward from the side of the deck. She turned back toward the others and grinned.
“Princess Celestia,” she said cheerfully, “may I present the Palace of Kelantis, Capital of Kelopolis. Home of Princess Aurora of the Kelpies.”
Celestia's expression was firm and set, and Twilight could see her jaw clench. “Yes,” she replied in a low tone, “I know. I've been there before.”
...fuck yeah.
Such good stuff.
I'm gonna need you to explain to me how twilight managed to figure out that celestia was in the kelpie ship, and WHY she was in the ship, but it can wait until next time you're on irc.
Fantastic chapter!
Eeeepiiic
Very nice chapter, with some interesting things in it. The main criticism I have echoes an earlier reviewer. Why was Celestia in a non combat ship at the surface of the water fighting against a single vessel? Im no military strategist, but as a bad guy, I'd want her in the most fortified, guarded, and difficult to find place I could think of.
161668
it has to do with timing, and the best way they can think of to deal with a creature that can teleport. As Celestia mentioned at the end of the chapter, she's seen the palace before, meaning she's been to kelopolis before. Celestia, unlike Twilight, can make transit tunnels over vast distances, for instance from Canterlot to Ponyville. the kelpies know this (how you ask? Sounds like theres a leak somewhere! We may find out later) and surmised that the best way to prevent her escape was to keep her someplace completely off the map, so that she couldn't plot a magical exit because she didnt know where it would be safe to exit TO. It can be argued that a being like Celestia could teleport 60 miles up and just float down to earth or something similarly dramatic but if I dont slap a few limitations on her there isnt much point in including her in a story. As I write it, teleporting without knowing where you're going to end up is dangerous or impossible, and you cant know where you're going to end up unless you know where you are, relative to that position.
Twilight remembered this happening to her when Windswept trapped her the same way. She also realized that, because the princess was shackled up, it must have taken a great deal of effort to secure her. She wasn’t just carried off into the ocean by a bunch of kelpies, they had a ship waiting. A ship that no pony in mustang marine could see. Finally, the stars falling drove home that the timing on this operation was actually much tighter than she'd originally considered. The kelpies weren't planning days ahead, they were planning hours ahead. They wouldn't have time to relocate Celestia to someplace more secure, they'd only have time to get her outside Equestria's waters and keep her floating so she couldnt figure out where exactly she was. That, combined with the fact that keeping her safe really wasn’t a priority (she was a bargaining chip for a bigger prize, but should she be killed it would be almost as useful) drove twilight to surmise that the most likely place for her to be was right there, in a mobile ship hovering around equestria's border.
Think of it this way: youre right, if you were trying to protect celestia to use her as a hostage, youd want her in the most fortified, guarded, and difficult to find place you could think of. But that's if you have time, lots of resources, and your hostage isnt a phenomenally powerful being. Celestia could extract herself from nearly any fortification, and locking her to one location only increases the chances of her picking up a stray conversation that tells her where she is. But if you put her in a comparatively fragile boat and float her around underwater with a full crew around her, not only can she not get a point of reference to teleport away to, but she cant break free without hurting the ponies around her. In a way, they were using themselves as hostages in order to keep her in check.
Much of this will be spelled out a little clearer in the next chapter, im sure Applejack will have the same question!
This is an interesting story thus far, but I am a little concerned with the author's lack of responses to some very important comments posted earlier. Some of this has made for some painfully difficult to accept points.
The kelpies are so drastically powerful that they are able to subdue and capture Celestia in the seat of her own power without any casualties and with complete and utter surprise. However they make the most amateurish and incompetent move possible by bringing the very hostage to the enemy themselves and are caught completely by surprise in such a fashion that Twilight can rush the vessel and free Celestia quickly.
The bigger, badder, more powerful DBZ villian trope. There was an opportunity to go for a more original angle, but it was not taken. This is one of the prime factors that keep this as just another MLP FiM story instead of something that could be instrumental in defining what MLP FiM fan fiction could be.
I want to mention, but not go into great detail as I could write an entire thesis on this, that the kelpies are not sufficiently balanced as a race. Social, political, and environmental factors, restrictions, traditions, and rules do not factor into a race’s power balance compared to other species. By all rights, they should control all islands and coastal lands, leaving Equestria hopelessly land-locked and contained. After all, they have magic/powers capable of capturing Princess Celestia, they are completely amphibious without any serious worries about being out of water too long, and they are not adversely affected by water salinity or lack thereof. Since the ocean is so massively deadly that sea monsters, by all rights, should be smashing Equestria’s coastal ports and cities on a daily basis, have made it harsh to live underwater, then it stands to reason most should have moved out of the environment long before ponies could have prevented them from colonizing the tidal zones, bays, estuaries, and coastal landmasses.
The story is, otherwise, a fun kind of read. It just can hurt to think about it too much.
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There is a point of confusion here that stems from head canon, and isn't particularly 'solvable'. It simply is what it is. I'll attempt to clarify:
“The kelpies are so drastically powerful that they are able to subdue and capture Celestia in the seat of her own power without any casualties”
Your version of “My little pony” seems to involve Princess Celestia killing people. Mine does not. It really just comes down to that. But its worth bringing up that just because no bodies were found, doesn’t mean there weren’t any injuries. It just means they know how to remove evidence. Theres also nothing stating they didn't have help, just that Twilight didn't notice any during her brief examination. Theres a lot of story left to tell.
“The bigger, badder, more powerful DBZ villain trope.”
Season one began with a villain that consisted of someones sister banished to the moon for a thousand years, who came back to shroud the world in darkness because she was...jealous. It ended with a dragon that could break every law of physics and throw equestria into turmoil because he was...tricky. Both of which were solved by a group of presumably barely-adult ponies who activated a dues ex machina machine to slay the enemy with a care-bare-stare. Without killing them. This is a My Little Pony story, it follows My Little Pony rules. Thats just the sort of story it is, if it cant be enjoyed for entertainment's sake, it may just not be your type of story. I try to explain things to a degree, but I dont go any further than the show does. My villain is a big villain because I find big villains fun, and because the show seems to have a niche for them.
“By all rights, they should control all islands and coastal lands, leaving Equestria hopelessly land-locked and contained.”
You're making a lot of assumptions based on circumstantial observation. The story has only ever showed one kelpie doing two things, one time. Windswept created an air bubble underwater, and created a gush of water sufficient to knock one pony off her feet. Everything else, the capture of celestia for instance, was inferred by Twilight based on cursory observation. How did they get into the palace to begin with? They've never shown any ability to teleport or travel through solid walls, abilities a unicorn infant seems to be able to manifest intuitively. How did they get the princess to the sea? They cant seem to fly or create tornados or manipulate lightning storms like pegasi can. It would seem to me that they had help that has yet to show itself in the story.
“Since the ocean is so massively deadly that sea monsters, by all rights, should be smashing Equestria’s coastal ports and cities on a daily basis, have made it harsh to live underwater, then it stands to reason most should have moved out of the environment long before ponies could have prevented them from colonizing the tidal zones, bays, estuaries, and coastal landmasses.”
Aside from using “sea monsters” and “it stands to reason” in the same sentence, which is in itself a little funny, especially because I don't think “controlling sea monsters” has ever been included in the story any more than land ponies can control an Ursa Major, your kelpies seem a bit more intent on world domination than mine are. Again: this story does include non-canon elements, but its attempting (as best I can, being an amateur) to FEEL like the show, with the exception of a little adult humor to keep it interesting. Princess Celestia and Princess Aurora have history, and there isnt much motivation for the Kelpies to go waging war on Equestria to secure terrain that provides them with nothing of value they can't get from the sea, save for a sunny rock to sit on. They're clearly more at home in the water.
In short, they are as content with their home as the ponies are content with Equestria, a land that controls the very sun and moon, and yet still hasn’t decided to mow down the everfree forest or invade wherever it is that Fluttershy sends that dragon in the Dragonshy episode. As humans, this strikes us as a little odd. We have a history of global expansions and warring for territory. But if I stray down that path ill start writing a Stephen King novel and frankly, I don't want to. I invite you to come up with whatever reason you feel is correct to explain why they aren’t swarming out of the ocean in droves to take over all the surfer-ponies houses, but I am content to leave the issue alone.
“The story is, otherwise, a fun kind of read. It just can hurt to think about it too much.”
Im glad you found something in it you like! Hopefully you will continue to do so. As to the second part of your statement, the solution is simple: stop thinking about it too much. This is a story based off a show that throws “hard science” about as far out the window as it can reach (“three nations of ponies get pounded by a blizzard for generations and...oh! Its a Windigo. I read about those in a book once. Gosh, its a shame Im the only pony with a book”-Clover the Clueless), and the story makes no attempt to apologize for that. If parts of it seem a little far fetched, just consider that it isn't finished yet, and some secrets have yet to be uncovered. If that still doesn’t work, then I might just not be the right sort of author for you.
Synchronicity doesn’t exist to give me an outlet to describe every aspect of pony and kelpie culture: its an adventure. When it has time to get into the details, it does, to about the level the show would. Those questions that are left unanswered, I leave to the reader to explore on their own. After all, thats the basis behind this entire fandom. Otherwise, MLP would just be another show for little girls. Hopefully this helps explain a bit of the mentality behind the story, thank you for your observations!
Just started reading this story and it is goddamn amazing. I'm really enjoying it and look forward to more chapters. (like right now, no? how bout now? damn...)
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heh, glad you like it. I just updated yesterday! gimmie some time, man!
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I shall leave an actual review soon, but in the interim:
"In short, they are as content with their home as the ponies are content with Equestria, a land that controls the very sun and moon, and yet still hasn’t decided to mow down the everfree forest or invade wherever it is that Fluttershy sends that dragon in the Dragonshy episode."
For what it's worth, it makes perfect sense to me that the kelpies haven't tried to conquer Equestria. As presented in this story, they seem rather isolationist, cautious, and distrustful as a people, so I'd expect them to hunker down in their own land rather than go venturing into foreign lands.
Waha haaa! Finally somepony who grants Rarity her due! I would be quick to serve Her Royal Highness.
On land Kelpies have a huge disadvantage anyways.
Even assuming they have a population advantage, which may be implied seeing as their civilization is much more closely knit than Equestria, bit still spreads over thousands of square miles. Kelpies can't function well on land. Without ready access to water, one would assume that they have next to no powers either. They may be able to dominate coastal regions, but they wouldn't get any benefit from anything further.
Why launch a war of aggression against a people that does you no harm, doesn't even know you exist by and large, and has nothing you need/want?
The 'Lords of the Sea' are simply misguided radicals that are terrified of the oncoming threat. Granted I'll wait to see what the author says about the supposed collaboration they received from others. As is alluded, it seems like P.C. was herded into her room, close to the waterway, where the Kelpies could actually manage to snag her, I doubt they would be able to assault Canterlot or Celestia in any other fashion. This still doesn't mean that the kelpies are smart... one would assume that Celestia would work to fight them anyways, without coercion... but solid, well-thought motives are rare amongst fringe groups.
Okay, for realsies review time! Whoo!
This chapter was notably short on comedy this go 'round, but given the amount of action packed in, that's understandable. Things I liked: How unexpectedly competent Pinkie seems as a naval commander, how Fluttershy slipped into addressing Pinkie as "Admiral," the vote of confidence Applejack had for Rarity's ability to serve Equestria as a princess, and Twilight BEING A COMPLETE AND TOTAL BADASS.
I loved that entire scene--Twilight's quick deductive reasoning, telling Pinkie to duck (and Pinkie doing so unquestioningly), Twilight's mad race through the other ship, "If I have half the right to hold the Element of Magic, I need these doors to OPEN," all of it. That was heart-pounding good stuff.
Some points of possible improvement: There are a fair number of typos and places where proper names should be capitalized and haven't been. Also, and this is mostly a matter of personal bias, I'd consider spelling Applejack's dialogue in a less phonetic way. It's a bit distracting, and I feel that, since we the readers already know what Applejack sounds like, her accent and dialect can be conveyed using vocabulary and syntax rather than relying on spelling. But that might just be me.
Can't wait for the next chapter!
This fanfiction, I think, is the epitome of what a fanfic should be. It Carries the same Character as the series, The same Vibe. This is not "Characters from Mlp:Fim go through a scenario the Author's made up". This is ostensibly what MLP:FiM would have been, if it was aimed at an adult audiance from the get go. The characters feel alive, The plot is riveting and the comedy doesn't feel forced. (this fic has had me in stitches at four or five different points, Laughing out loud while trying desperately not to wake my family. When I say this is a rare occurance, I mean it.) There are some minor issues in relation to spelling and the like, but these a neglible enough as to be irrelevant. I'd go on and on with praise, but I've found shorter posts tend to seem more genuinely sincere than half a novel of gushing, So I'll leave off with this: Followed, Fived and Fave'd
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wow, thank you very much! Im really happy you're enjoying it so much, I hope it continues to live up to your expectations as it gets closer to completion. thanks again, this is very kind
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Thanks for providing regular input, Donnie's Boy. Its great to have readers that have stuck around since the beginning and still find the story enjoyable. I hope it continues to entertain you!
First, as a new member of the community, let me say, "I'm sorry." For a long time, I didn't understand the appeal of the fandom at all. It was something I simply couldn't wrap my head around until an artist I greatly respect posted some work and made me decide to give it a shot. I now reside firmly in you camp, even if I continue to do so in secret and for reasons I still don't completely understand.
Anyway, I should move onto the actual relevant part, which is the review. After reading the entirety of the work, I have to say it's one of the best things that I've ever read. I am being completely serious when I say that it is better assembled than some published works I have read. There are a few spelling and grammatical errors, yes, namely a proliferation of their/there/they're style errors, but nothing that broke the flow for me. Like LH, the comedic and dramatic points felt very well fleshed-out to me. Several instances had me laughing, but Pinkie's entrance as Admiral Something-or-other literally had me in stitches. I can see her performing those antics perfectly, the pipe bouncing of the sailor's head with a Woody Woodpecker rat-a-tat-tat.
On that note, I wouldn't be surprised if the kelpies as the author describes them actually become canon later in the show. They are amazingly well thought-out, and personally, I think they're very well balanced. We've seen the response of the creators with regards to "Derpy," and I think these creatures may make a similar impression.
As for the phonetic use of Applejack's drawl, I actually found it very useful. But then again, I like Hemingway, so take that as you will. But personally, I like seeing a character's tones and tempo portrayed in the spelling. It helps to reinforce their particular quirks, and in instances of Hemingway-esque conversation, where many lines of dialogue bounce between different characters with no supporting text, it makes it very clear which character is saying what.
Lastly, I am eager to see the expansion of the plot as well as the expansion of the relationships in this story. The failed Rarity/RD fling in the past was an excellent addition that added a lot of depth to the characters and I think the author can definitely work something similar out with any other relationships. On that note, I am a bit curious as to who will wind up with whom. I'm pretty certain that I know who RD has feelings for, but the hinted at, but never confirmed snippets surrounding Rarity, Twilight, and Applejack leaves it open for many directions.
In conclusion, a wonderful work that I will fave and five as soon as I figure out how to work this thing.
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Absolutely! And just to be clear, my suggestions were things I consider pretty minor. Overall, I think this is a fantastic story, and I've been loving it. Don't want you to think otherwise.
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"As for the phonetic use of Applejack's drawl, I actually found it very useful. But then again, I like Hemingway, so take that as you will."
Fair enough, there. It is a matter of stylistic preference, I believe, rather than right or wrong, and I hope I didn't imply otherwise. But I thought I'd throw in my two cents, 'cause hey, why not.
Perhaps not coincidentally, while I respect Hemingway quite a bit for the great writer he was, I'm personally not fond of him. Heh.
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Thank you so much for the kind words, SIGWolf, Im really glad you like the story. hopefully it will continue to live up to your expectations. Welcome to the MLP fandom, may you find stuff you like here! XD im not going to hold my breath about Hasbro adopting kelpies as canon, thats some pretty wishful thinking, but its awesome that you feel they could fit in naturally with the environment, as that was the intention. as to the relationships, theres a lot of ways for that to go in this fic and I intend to keep it that way. one of the fun things about he show is it doesn't force you into certain relationships, and its my hope that this fic will provide anyone's favorite ship with plenty of additional ammunition.
Epic stuff, Sev! A few little niggling points of critique, though.
In the paragraph that begins with "Magical energy ricocheted off the walls", there's a mention of "grabbing hands" which perhaps ought to refer to fins or flippers.
In the paragraph that begins with "“FIRE ON THAT SHIP!”", Applejack's name isn't capitalized.
Near the end, the camelcase capitalization of "DonJons" seems a bit out of place.
191141 got it, thanks!
“Don't waste time shooting at it,” Twilight yelled, “just get us out of her!
Weeeel.. I sure hope -that- wasn't supposed to be innuendo
For the record...I freaking LOVE badass Twi. When she figures stuff out and uses her magic and her brain in new and fantastic ways, I just can't get enough. So her plowing through this ship using her magic to evade capture and releasing the Princess was just incredible. I love it.
So... Just four stars then?
Also... They found her quite quick.
~Skeeter The Lurker
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makes sense in the context of the story