Twilight Spiteful

by thiswasamistake

Alternate Ending: The Ticket Bastard Pt. 2

When Pinkie Pie next approaches the tickets, however, she pauses and takes a good look at them.

Disoriented as she is, Twilight can't teleport them away from the frizzy-maned pony fast enough for it to matter.

"Wait...these aren't...tickets to the Grand Galloping Gala?!"

She announces Twilight Sparkle's possession of the oh-so-desirable glimmering golden slips of paper loudly enough that everypony within a half-mile radius hears it. The sound of the bouncy pink pony's voice echoing off of several walls of various buildings sinks into the purple unicorn's spine and sends a shudder of dread up it, until she feels that her very soul is soaked in the ghastly feeling.

The earth rumbles.

A fine sheen of sweat breaks out upon her brow.

Her eye twitches.

She doesn't need to look up to know what's happening. Distantly, the cut-off cries of Rarity, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash meet her flattened ears as they're pushed aside by what she knows must be a massive crowd of ponies that are now just as interested in gaining her favor, all for the chance at that accursed plus one.

A surge of adrenaline rushes through her, pumped throughout her body with every single increasingly-fast heartbeat, but she pushes it away with a rapid series of brain-rattling head shakes. Running won't help; she's one little unicorn with no food in her belly and an already less-than-peak physique versus a veritable mob of earth ponies, unicorns, and pegasi, at least some of which must be well-fed and thus, full of energy to chase her down until they manage to back her into a corner, where she must then teleport into her home, or perhaps into a hole in the ground for the unforeseeable future.

No. This is her home town just as much as theirs.

A squiggly-lipped smirk breaks out across her face.

She has a better solution.

"HEY!"

Most of the crowd comes to a screeching halt about ten feet away from her. The rest that were either too slow or stupid enough to ignore her call slam into the force field she'd erected around herself and Spike with a series of muffled thumps and grunts. Her smirk widens just a little bit.

"I do, in fact, have a ticket to the Grand Galloping Gala. But demanding it in an unruly mob is no way to go about getting at that ticket, now, is it?"

Several murmurs of assent greet her ears. Perfect.

"So, here's the plan. I'm going to go home, I'm going to finally eat some lunch, then I'm going to sit outside, and you're all going to explain why you think you deserve the ticket best." When Spike starts to speak up in protest - he's witnessed her stress levels skyrocketing with every single pleading, desire-filled demand for long enough to know that this sounds like a horrible idea - she raises a hoof in a silent request for him to stop talking, and when she glances down at him, there's a kindness directed towards him, along with a mischievous spark within her eyes that's bordering on cruel as she grins conspiratorially.

Despite the slight worry that that look spurs in his gut, he can't help but to return the grin. He knows that look.

Although several ponies argue against the plan - most notably her...friends...still battered from the crowd - due to their absolute impatience, for the most part, they agree to this and begin to disperse.

"Great. See you all in about an hour, then! Right in front of the Golden Oaks Library."

She hears a dainty voice, a country-accented one, a raspy boisterous one, and a high-pitched enthusiastic one all starting to rabble and talk over each other, very rapidly growing closer and louder, but before they can get near enough for her to really care, her horn glows, and she and Spike vanish from the outdoor eating area of the Prench restaurant, popping back up inside of the kitchen of her home. Twilight gives herself just a few moments' rest from the teleport before her horn glows once more, and with a series of clicks and muffled slams, she locks every single door and window latch in the Golden Oaks Library. She does feel a little bit bad for locking Owlowiscious out like that, but he knows how to get her attention, and she's pretty sure he won't be back until much later in the day.

"So...daisy sandwiches, and I was thinking some hay and cucumber salad, maybe with some tomatoes and gems thrown in there? You could always try some, y'know. Maybe then you'd see why I'm so fond of them," Spike says with a teasing prod at Twilight's cheek.

Her stomach growls loudly as Spike discusses meal plans, and she giggles at his words, shaking her head as she starts to get out the ingredients for their food. "No thanks, Spike. Some ponies might be able to eat rocks, but I'm preeetty sure that even gems are off the table for them. Besides, you still refuse to try my so-called 'horrible' junk food. Frozen pizzas and cup noodles are not that bad!"

As she passes the ingredients to Spike, he quickly whips up the sandwiches first, slathering mayo on top of the bread before heaping daisies onto each slice of bread, making four sandwiches in total. After a brief period of contemplation, though, he brings that total up to eight, shooting Twilight a sympathetic smile as he does so.

Then the salad. It's not that Twilight refuses to help him cook - she'd be more than happy to - but as they've learned many, many times (the hard way), her skills in the kitchen amount to being an ingredient-passer, putting things in the fridge, and chopping vegetables. She's been banned from everything else. A ban that she's been very happy to abide by, especially ever since they'd made the humiliating and shocking discovery that she can somehow manage to burn salsa.

Finally, after what feels like eons, the food is done. They sit down at the table, Spike portions out roughly half of the salad for himself, throws in several large handfuls of assorted gems, tosses it, then Twilight inhales four sandwiches at the speed of sound. Quite literally inhales. She coughs out pieces of a half-chewed sandwich as it goes down the wrong pipe before, with watering eyes, she runs over to the sink and shoves her head under the running faucet, gulping down water until her coughs abate.

Snickering behind her draws her attention to a dragon that's trying hard to conceal his laughter behind a forkful of hay, tomatoes, and sapphires.

"It- ack!- it's not funny, Spike!" But his giggles are infectious, and she finds herself joining in as she sits back down, resuming her eating at a still faster-than-is-probably-safe but not-quite-inhaling pace. Soon, the sandwiches are gone, and she looks over to find Spike's bowl empty.

"Did you want the rest of the salad, Spike? I'm not hungry anymore, and it's scientifically proven that eating until you're full isn't health-"

"Oh shush Twilight. Today's been your personal Tartarus; I think you're allowed to be "unhealthy" just this once. Besides, I'm full, so now you have to eat 'til you're full, otherwise I'll feel bad." He grins smugly up at her, face smeared slightly with balsamic vinaigrette dressing.

She lets out a laugh before nodding, pulling the bowl over to herself and finishing her half off before leaning back in her chair with a content sigh, patting at her stomach which is now gurgling but for a good reason as it works to digest her first meal of the day.

Unfortunately, the peaceful air is soon broken by the steadily rising sound of voices accumulating just outside of her front door.

"She said an hour, has it been an hour yet?"

"Almost! Fifty...fifty-six minutes."

"Well she should hurry, I have an appointment at the spa soon!"

"Hey, shut it! If she heard that, she'll never give you the ticket!"

"Fifty-seven minutes!"

She groans and lets her head fall onto the table with a low 'thunk!' before getting out of her chair, straightening her mane and tail with her magic, then adopting an expression of calm blankness. No fake smiles for this crowd. Yet.

"Twilight? Do you...want me to help?"

The purple unicorn turns to give her most helpful assistant a fond ruffle of his head frill, shaking her head. "No, buuut...I could use some moral support from my Number One Assistant. That is, if you don't mind being bored to tears; I imagine this is going to take quite some time."

He grins and hops off of his own chair - nearly faceplanting in the process due to the eagerness with which he performs the action - before running over to her. "Nonsense! I'll be your faithful bodyguard through these trying times, m'lady!"

She giggles and crosses a hoof over her chest before bowing low to him, holding the hoof out in front of her to complete the action. "But of course, oh Great and Honorable Knight Spike! This Princess is always safe with you protecting her!"

And with that, they walk out of the door.

---

It's a simple process for her to drag a wooden chair from the kitchen table out to the front...yard? (She's not really sure whether she can call it a yard or not, seeing as how it's...literally a part of the street.) The vocal amplification spell glows at her throat once more - albeit a much weaker version of the one that she'd used against her friends - and she clears her throat to get the crowd's attention.

"Ahem! If everypony could please arrange themselves into a single-file line, that would be great. Anypony that is unable to keep in an orderly fashion will be immediately eliminated from the consideration pool. If you have somewhere to be, I suggest that you leave now, because I'm not going to give special consideration to anypony that's in a rush. This ticket is for the Grand Galloping Gala, after all, so if you truly would like it, then reschedule."

Her voice turns cold at the end, and she can see shudders run throughout a few ponies - most notably in one stallion; she has a sneaking suspicion that he was the one whining about his oh-so-precious spa appointment - before the mob begins to arrange itself into the line that she had requested.

"Great! Now," she points a hoof at the one in front, "you. Come up, let's talk. I don't want us to have to shout at each other from all the way across the street."

The mare walks up with a nervous air to her, suddenly doubtful without the presence of countless ponies behind her to chase down Twilight Sparkle. She offers up a weak grin.

"So, what's your name?"

"Oh, uh, i-it-" She gulps. "It's Merry Rose, Miss Twilight."

She laughs and shakes a hoof carelessly. "Please, just Twilight is fine." Her face grows more serious. "Now, what is my name?" At the look of confusion on Merry's face, she shrugs. "Just humor me."

"Um...your name is Twilight Sparkle, Mi- uh, Twilight."

"Good, good...now," and now there's a definite edge of something not quite dangerous, but something that could become dangerous within her voice, "how do you know my name?"

As Merry Rose wracks her brain, she finds that she...can't really recall how, until...

"Oh! I-I was at your "Welcome to Ponyville" party! Though, I'm sure you don't remember me, haha."

She doesn't lose that dead monotone. "And have you heard my name anywhere else?"

"Well, o-of course! You're Pri- I mean, you're the protégé of Princess Celestia!"

Now she smiles. A thin-lipped, barely-there smile, where just the corners of her lips barely pull up, but a smile nonetheless. "And have we ever spoken before this? Have you ever heard my name from any of your friends? Have you ever considered me your friend?" When she sees Merry's mouth open, she cuts her off with an almost-snarl. "And don't say "yes" for the hell of it, Merry Rose. A friend is someone that you both see and talk to on a regular basis. Someone that you know. Someone," and here her eyes search the line for a moment before they meet Pinkie Pie's, who visibly wilts at the glare, "that you can depend. On."

Merry Rose flinches at the curse word, finally seeming to realize just how much trouble she's in, and what an absolutely massive mistake she'd made when she had first joined the mob.

"I-I-" Her eyes well up with tears of both regret and fear as she strains to retain eye contact with Twilight Sparkle before she finally must bow her head so that she's staring down at the dusty ground. "...no, Twilight. You're not my friend. A-And I'm not yours, either."

"Then I believe we're done here. Surely you understand that my plus one to the Grand Galloping Gala must be a pony that I'm close enough with to consider a friend, do you not?"

She can only nod before silently trotting away, hooves trembling with every step she takes.

Twilight's expression brightens right back up as she gestures out with a hoof. "Next in line, please!"

Despite the absolute destruction of the pony that had come before him, Vinyl Scratch feels just a little bit more confident in walking up to Twilight Sparkle than Merry Rose had.

"And what's your name?"

"Vinyl Scratch, and your name's Twilight Sparkle."

She nods, smiling again with that almost-danger in her eyes. "Good, good. Now, how do you know my name, and have you ever heard it elsewhere?"

"Same as Merry; heard it at your party. Who d'you think was blasting those wicked jamz after that cutesy music Pinkie had on was over?" She tosses her mane with a grin before continuing. "And yeah, I've heard it here and there. Again, same reasons as Merry. You're the Princess's protégé - congrats, by the way - and that's a pretty big deal. Also heard it occasionally from Pinkie Pie. I dunno if I'd say we're friend friends, but we're at least casual acquaintances."

"Thank you. I'm very proud of myself for having managed to both attain and retain that title; it's something I work very hard to keep. I'm also glad that you're friends with Pinkie Pie. She knows how to make any party fun." She leans in slightly. "Now...have we ever spoken before you decided to come up here and demand access to my extra ticket to the Grand Galloping Gala?"

The first bead of sweat builds up on her brow, but she pushes through the anxiety. "Y-Yup! We- uh- heheh, it's...probably not the greatest first official meeting, but uh...you have come over once or twice to ask me to turn my music down. A-And, eventually, I told you to just give it a shot, so, you did! And, you came into my place with an open mind, and we jammed for a bit."

She nods once more, leaning back and seeming satisfied. "I'm glad that you were happy enough with that afternoon to remember it in such vivid detail, Vinyl. Now, tell me...you heard what I said to Merry Rose. Do you think that we're friends?" She pauses, her smile adopting a cynical tinge to it. "You know what? Let's expand our horizons a little bit. I'll say that acquaintances will be considered, too. So, would you consider us acquaintances, Vinyl Scratch?"

The big question. She pores over the question for a moment, a few more beads of sweat accumulating upon her brow, before she hesitantly nods. "I-I believe so, yes. We, uh...we did bond a fair amount over music. I know that, even though you weren't really fond of my harder-core wubs, you did like some of my trance music, and you had a blast playing around with my DJ gear!"

"I did indeed." She leans forwards again. "So, acquaintance...what's my favorite color?"

She blanches. Light grey skin pales until it's bone-white, and the first rivulet of salt-soaked water tickles its way down the side of her face. Shit. That's...something that an acquaintance would know. And it's something that she doesn't know. "I-I- I- y-you- it- uhm-" Her desperation to play at the Gala overpowers her sense of self-preservation. "R-Red?"

Relief floods her whole being as a soft smile spreads across Twilight Sparkle's lips, a tinge of something like acceptance coming into those cold violet eyes...

...and then that smile widens into a too-wide grin and she shakes her head.

"Nope! Don't feel bad, though; that was only one of many things I told you about myself that afternoon. Have a nice day, Vinyl."

With a wave of her hoof, the musician is sent away. Then she turns to the next pony in line, and she's greeted with a very familiar orange, freckled face.

"Howdy, Twilight. Ah already know yer name, Ah kn-"

Twilight holds up a hoof, demanding silence.

"You're not allowed in this line, nor are any of you," she says, turning her gaze upon Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy. "Frankly, I'm a little bit offended that you'd even try this, since I said that I would consider all of my friends, a group which I still consider you all a part of, despite the stress and borderline torture that you've put me through today."

She sits up straight in her chair, her gaze hardening into a glare.

"So get out of line. You can stick around, or you can get back to your lives. But I will keep you all in mind even as I deal with all of these other ponies, because I keep my promises."

They stare at her with their mouths agape before, one by one, they walk off to their respective abodes, heads hung low in defeat.

---

Finally, finally, the trials are over. When the last pony disappears from her view - she's still vaguely in shock that that Carrot Top mare had had the audacity to try and bribe her with carrots of all things - she slumps back in her chair, letting her neck bend back until her head's hanging over the back of the chair at a superbly uncomfortable angle. With a loud, groaned-out sigh of relief, she sits there like that for a few moments before the sound of several sets of clopping hooves, quiet at first then steadily increasing in volume, assaults her ears.

She stretches one more time, then straightens up, half-rolling out of her chair to find herself face-to-face with the five ponies that had been cajoling her for that extra ticket for the better part of the morning. She feels her face already beginning to pull into a scowl, but the expression drops as she registers the looks on their faces.

There's differences in-between the presentations of emotions on each individual's face, of course, but for the most part, the body language and facial expressions each of them are displaying are the same: Tails tucked tight in-between their hind legs, heads slightly lowered, eyes flicking up to meet hers for a split second before lowering back to the ground, and ears flattened. Fluttershy in particular is rubbing one foreleg with another hoof sheepishly, over half of her face hidden behind her silky pink mane.

"Er...Twilight, A-Ah know yer prolly sick t' death of us by now, but-"

"-just hear us out, okay? We're really, really-"

"-so so super duper duper so so so so really really sorry! I mean, how we were acting was just-"

"-absolutely dreadful. I, in particular, should have known better than to act in such a-"

"-rude...way...w-we should have trusted in your judgment, Twilight."

Fluttershy's words ring throughout the now-empty air of the streets of the slowly-darkening town of Ponyville, and for a moment, they're afraid that they'll simply be ignored away instead of lectured, but then Twilight's stone facade cracks and the first genuine smile - tiny though it is - ever since all of this has started breaks onto her face.

"It's...it's fine, girls." She trots over to the door of the Golden Oaks Library, opening the door and holding it open, nodding towards it to indicate that the other five mares (and Spike) should walk in before her. She follows after before shutting it behind herself with a soft click.

With a soft, tired sigh, she sits on the ground of the main browsing area, chewing on her bottom lip as her expression grows pensive, her mind searching for the right words to use. Now that anger isn't fueling her, she really...isn't quite sure how to express her thoughts.

"...if you don't mind, Applejack," and here she offers the farmer a weak smile, "I think I'm going to steal your Element for just a moment." She straightens her back just a bit, gesturing the others closer with a forehoof before continuing.

"Look, girls, I'll be honest with you. I'm...I'm really...upset. I was so thrilled to get those invitations from Princess Celestia, and at first, all I thought about was Spike and I going. But then, almost immediately after, I thought about all of you. I thought about all of you, how close we've gotten in just a few weeks, and how, even with spending all that time with Princess Celestia, I didn't think I would've been able to have any sort of fun without my best friends at the Gala right next to me." She pauses to chuckle. "Though, honestly...I'm pretty sure the most time I'd get with my mentor is a few minutes here and there, so, I was probably being a bit self-centered too, when I thought about wanting you all there with me."

She's broken out of her thoughts by a sniffle from Fluttershy, and that's all the warning she gets before she's nearly knocked over by a warm and fuzzy pink blur of speed, followed by a much gentler pair of yellow hooves and wings wrapping around her neck.

"Oh, Twilight, I'm so sorry...we should have trusted that you'd have kept us in your thoughts, even with something as exciting as a Gala invitiation," the shy pegasus mumbles into her fur, a damp spot quickly forming there as a few tears drip from her eyes.

"Yeah! I mean, I love parties, but not even the biggest most bestest most superest most awesomest extremest bestestest everever party in the whole Gala-xy is worth hurting your friend!" Strong pink forehooves squeeze Twilight so tightly that she feels a few tears spring into her own eyes before they release her.

Applejack seems averse to the idea of physical displays of affection, but she does at least give Twilight a token pat on the back, tipping her hat in agreement. "Yeah, uh...what Fluttershy an' Pinkie said. Ah'm mighty sorry, Twi. T'wasn't right of us ta try an' force ya like we did. Like Ah did."

A glass bead necklace encased within a shimmering, turquoise aura floats over to Twilight's head, and after (briefly) pulling the two mares off of her, it slips itself over her head so that it can rest against her neck. "Twilight, darling, I...this was originally meant as a bribe. I refuse to trot daintily around the issue. However, I do hope that you will now accept it as an apology gift. I will also be the first to say that I honestly and truly do not care whether I get the ticket or not. As the Element of Generosity, nothing would please me more than to see any one of my other, dearest friends experience the joy of attending the Grand Galloping Gala, especially if it means easing the pressure of decision, even if just by one pony."

"Yeah, uh..." Rainbow Dash sheepishly rubs at the back of her head with a hoof, slowly descending until her hooves hit the ground. "It wasn't cool of me either, Twi. Even if I didn't say it out loud, the fact that I kept pushing you so hard to give me the ticket meant that I was implying that I'd stop being your friend if you didn't. That's the exact opposite of loyalty, and I'm sorry." She smiles encouragingly at the unicorn. "I don't want the ticket. That's not some big talk to make myself feel better. If you try to give it to me, I'm just gonna throw it right back in your face, so don't go gettin' all mad at me if you do try and I throw it!"

Twilight can't help but giggle, holding up her forehooves in surrender. "Alright, alright! I promise that you are officially not going to get the ticket." She turns to Pinkie and Fluttershy, opening her mouth, but before she can say anything, a pink hoof clamps itself over her muzzle, effectively cutting off her words before they can even start.

"Nope nope and double and triple nopeity nope! I am not going to a party without all of my friends, and besides, it's not right to make you pick me over anypony else! I'm out too, Twilight, no ifs, ands, or buts about it."

When she looks to Fluttershy, all she gets is a resolute shake of the head 'no'.

Which leaves Applejack.

She looks over to the last of her friends - and the current, sole (pony) candidate for her plus one - and receives a simple but determined response: "Nope."

A giggle bubbles up from her chest, steadily rising in volume and intensity until it's full-blown, hearty laughter, tears prickling at the corners of her eyes as she trots over to rope Rarity, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash into the hug with Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy.

"Spike, take a letter, please!"

He whips out a parchment, feather quill, and pot of ink, smiling brightly at her as he holds the quill above the parchment. "Ready!"

"Dear Princess Celestia...today I learned that friendship isn't always perfect. Sometimes it takes some really big stress to learn more about your friends, and to get closer with them. Today, that big stress was facing the fact that nopony is perfect, and seeing as how all of my new friends are ponies, that means that they aren't perfect either! Sometimes, they're prone to thinking only about themselves. But that's okay, because good friends will always talk it out with you afterwards, and your friendships with them will be stronger than ever. The reason my friends were thinking about themselves is because they learned about the two tickets that you sent to me for the Grand Galloping Gala. I appreciate the gesture, and I'm happy that you wanted me there, but I know that I could never have fun there without all of my friends there. It's my turn to be selfish," and here she giggles, shooting her friends a wink before continuing, "and when I think about only myself at the Gala, it seems like the worst party ever, even with you there (no offense!). Therefore, I will be returning both tickets to the Gala. Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle."

At the announcement of her plans to send back both tickets, the other five ponies in the room gasp and give out various cries of protest, but she speaks over them, loudly enough that they stop talking. "Nope! If my friends can't all go, then I don't want to go either." She offers them a small smile. "Besides, you heard what I said. Even with Princess Celestia there, all I'd really be able to think about is you five, and that would ruin the whole night for me. I'd much rather be here with you."

She nods to Spike, waiting there with the sealed scroll. "Go ahead and send the letter, Spike!"

He does so with a salute, breathing out a green flame that sets the parchment aflame, the fire quickly feeding upon the fibrous material until it's completely evaporated and with Princess Celestia.

Applejack's just about to offer them all a hearty Apple Family Style dinner at her place when Spike starts gagging, and Twilight whips her head around, a concerned look on her face, before his maw opens wide and he belches out a letter with Princess Celestia's royal seal upon it.

"My dearest Twilight," he orates, "I'm so proud of you for learning from what sounds like a very rough day! But if you wished for more tickets, why didn't you say so in the first place?" Magically 'taped' to the scroll just below Celestia's signature lay seven tickets to the Grand Galloping Gala, shimmering still with residual magic.

As the mares all squeal with delight, Spike groans with over-exaggerated disgust, holding his ticket out and away from his body while exclaiming, "Gross! I have to go to the Gala too?"

Soon, though, his facade drops under Applejack's raised brow, and he breaks off into a series of giggles, following after the six mares, tummy rumbling at the promises of all sorts of apple-related goodies that the Apple family will be cooking for them. Rarity even promises to locate a few gems to throw into his dessert at the end of their meal.

Comments

[spoonlol]

Aww, that ending is still sweet.
You know what’s funny,was actually expecting Lyra to come up and answer all the questions perfectly. Only for her to remind Twi how they used to be friends in Canterlot.

[thiswasamistake]

10662318
Oh, dammit, Lyra completely slipped my mind! Now I've gotta write another alternate ending where she pops up, Twilight interrogates her, Lyra answers, and then shenanigans ensue from there.

[spoonlol]

10668203
Hehe, excellent. Can’t wait

[Zubric]

10668203
To be fair, they were more close study buddies. Pre-show twilight wasn’t exactly the talkative typeI

[astrolatryy]

Oh, this is so satisfying to read after rewatching The Ticket Master and getting frustrated with how it went. Thank you for writing this; this is like catharsis distilled into a single story and it's beautiful.

( Also, "their wigs have been snatched." made me laugh out loud— )

[Theresa]

I liked how she taught most of those silly greedy ponies a lesson that they wouldn't forget anytime soon and her friends learned that bribery isn't a good way to behave.

[Lord Headcheez]

[TheCatalistComet2005]

I like those little moments twilight had with spike. Despite how bad her day was going, she and spike are still family.