[A quick word from me the author. THIS IS NOT A SPIKE TURNS INTO A STALLION STORY. For the love of Celestia, Luna, Faust and Conquest, please trust me on this! Now continue reading!!!]
The little dragon was in tears, he had just had his heart crushed by the mare he had admired so for very long.
“Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!” yelled Spike in his head as he ran away from the Boutique.“You should have seen this coming! Why would a mare like Rarity want to be with a dragon?! Especially a dragon like you?! With your stupid scales, spines and claws, you have more in common with Discord! And everypony hates him!”
He ran blindly, sprinting pass the ponies in town. The odd mare or stallion would give Spike a concerned or confused look, but none pursued him. They just went on with their daily business as Spike continued to run.
“‘If you were a pony, I would have said yes in a heartbeat.’ Those were her words.” He thought to himself. “If I wasn’t a dragon…” he started to ponder. “If I wasn’t a dragon! That’s it! It’ all so simple! Rarity said I was adorable, but I just needed to be a stallion!” he happily shouted. “So that’s what I’ll do.” The dragon, with newfound faith in his heart, quickly made his way to the tree house. “Twilight, Twilight!” he shouted, kicking the door. He saw the unicorn was sitting at her desk, her nose still deep in the book from that morning.
“What is it Spike?” she asked, putting a bookmark in her page. “You seem really riled up.”
“Twilight, remember how you were trying to turn that potato into a flowerpot?”
“Yeah,” groaned the unicorn, “and the potato ended up exploding.”
“Oh right, that was a good dinner!” smiled Spike, licking his lips at the memory. “So do you think that you would be able you could do that with me?”
“Turn you into a potato?”
“What? NO!” exhaled the dragon. “I need you to turn me into a stallion!”
“Excuse me?” asked Twilight. “Why in Equestria would you want to do that?”
“So Rarity can go on a date with me!”
“Oh no,” sighed Twilight. “Spike, what happened?”
“I asked her out on a date,” he said gloomily, “but she said no because I was a dragon.”
“And you think that if you were a stallion she would go out with you?”
“I don’t think, Twilight,” exclaimed the dragon, “I know! She told me so herself. So what do you say? I’m sure it’ll go better than the potato.”
The unicorn took a deep breath, letting out a sad groan. “Listen, even if I could do that spell without turning you into mashed potatoes, I still wouldn’t do it.”
“But why not?!” whined Spike.
“Because you’re perfect the way you are, Spike. You don’t need to go changing yourself just so somepony will like you better, even if that pony is Rarity.”
“But, I love her…” whimpered Spike, taking a seat on the floor and curling up into a ball. “I really do, Twilight.”
“And I’m sure she knows, but turning yourself into a pony isn’t going to change anything,” said the unicorn, putting a hoof onto the dragon’s little shoulder. “Tell you what, I’ll go and talk to Rarity about this and how you’re feeling, maybe she can help me figure out what’s going on.” Twilight levitated her saddle bag towards her, slipped it on, headed out the door. “I’ll be back soon. Please try and forget about it, please.”
She left, leaving the dragon in a small puddle of his own tears. “How can I forget about it? She means everything to me…” He got up from the ground, wiping his nose, “Well, Twilight won’t help me, then I’ll just have to find somepony else!” he proclaimed. “But who?”
He left out the front door, turning to the Everfree forest. Maybe he didn’t need a unicorn to help him out; maybe he needed a wise zebra’s brew. The dragon stepped into the tree line of the forest. He could feel the temperature drop as he entered the shade of the many tree. The Everfree was always a scary place, an overgrown mess of unkempt woods, filled with nasty plants and wildlife, waiting to poison you or gobble you whole. He had to be careful to stay on the trail, and not drift into the unpredictable woods.
“I’m sure Zecora will be able to help me out,” said Spike to himself. “She must have a potion or a plant that can turn me into a stallion.” He continued walking down the path; it kept getting colder and colder, and the light of the autumn sun was fading. “I wonder if I get to choose what kind of pony I could be? A pegasus would be cool, but I hear that earth ponies are super strong…” The air started to get thicker, a thin blanket of fog cutting off visibility. “Rarity’s a unicorn, maybe she would like me to be a unicorn too! Why didn’t she say what she preferred? Does she know how much stress this is causing me….Where am I?”
Spike finally awakened from his monologue to realize that he was in the middle of a spookier part of the forest. The sun was replaced with grey blurriness, thick fog subduing all lines of sight. All that he was able to see was the creepiness of the trees, and their spooky faces.
“W-where am I?” he stuttered, looking around nervously. “This isn’t the path to Zecora’s.”
Grrrrr…
“W-w-what was that?”
Grrrrr…
There was a shuffling in the trees and bushes, the rattling of leaves as something stocked the little dragon. Half a dozen yellow eyes opened up in the darkness, followed by a three sets of shiny white teeth. The three Timberwolves emerged from the woods, glaring at the tasty looking dragon.
“H-h-hey there guys,” stuttered Spike nervously, “L-lovely weather we’re having.” The wolves started to close in on him. “S-stay back! I-I’m a dragon! If you come close, I’ll…” He timidly heaved a breath. “I’ll breathe fire on you!” He spat out his green flames at the highly flammable Timberwolves.
The wolves flinched as they prepared for the fiery impact.
Pffffffft.
The small embers that Spike had managed to spit out fell helplessly to the ground, not even hot enough to burn the grass. But the wolves didn’t know that. With lightning fast haste, the dragon spun around and bolted in the opposite direction of the wolves.
“Not good not good so not good!” panted the dragon as he rushed through the forest. “Gotta get away! Where am I anyways?” He heard the sound of barking and growling behind him, the snarls of the Timberwolves getting louder and louder as they chased after the purple drake. “Faster Spike faster!” He looked behind him, still keeping his pace. The three wolves were gaining on him, and fast.
SLAM!!
Spike had blindly run into something, something hard and made of metal, which was odd considering they were in the middle of the Everfree. He shook his head and looked at what he had unwittingly collided with: a steel gate. A tall, rusty pair of barred gates in the middle of the forest. Spike wasn’t about to argue with what was they were doing there. He scurried to his feet and slipped into the gates, pushing them closed on the other side. The wolves on the other side scratched angrily at the bars and howled over their lost prey as they backed away and started to sink back into the trees of the forest.
“That’s right, you better run!” shouted Spike through the safety of the bars. He turned around to see what exactly required a gate in the middle of the Everfree…
*****
“Knock, knock! Hello?” asked Twilight as she tapped her hoof on the door of the Carousal Boutique. “Rarity, are you home?”
“Just a second, darling!” hummed the white unicorn. Twilight could hear the sound of hoof steps running down the stairs. The door swung open as the fashionista presented herself. “Hello Twilight, what a lovely surprise. Is there anything I can do for you?”
Rarity, we need to talk,” said Twilight bluntly.
“Oh,” responded Rarity nervously. “About what dear?”
“About Spike, what on earth did you say to him?” the lavender mare asked, “Spike comes home after coming back from here and he wants me to turn him into a potato!”
“Eh, a potato?”
Twilight shook her head. “I mean pony! He wants me to turn him into a pony because apparently, you told him you wouldn’t go out with him because he was a dragon!” she growled, her face scrunched up in a frown. “Why would you tell him that? You know how impressionable he can be!”
“Oh dear,” worried Rarity, biting her bottom lip. “I really didn’t expect him to take it that bad…”
“What did you do?” groaned the purple mare.
“Well, you see dear, I really did try to be gentle with him” said Rarity, trying to escape the fiery glare of her friend. “He was awfully sweet, and charming, but then again, he always is. He even gave me a rose.” She looked around for the flower, but couldn’t seem to find it. “Oh, I guess he must have taken it. Regardless, it was quite a delight to see him, as it is with all my friends, so I of course invited him into—“
“Rarity,” grumbled Twilight, facehoofing herself, “just skip to the important stuff please.”
The white mare gave another little sigh, a teardrop leaking past her eye as she hid her face behind her long purple hair. “I broke his heart,” she whispered, “I tried my best to let him down gently. I never wanted to hurt the poor thing, but it just slipped out…”
“What slipped out?”
“That if he was a stallion I would have said yes!” Rarity cried, falling to the ground in tears.
“Rarity!” gasped Twilight. “Why would you say something like that?!”
“I told you it just slipped out!” cried the distressed mare. “I didn’t want to hurt him, he’s so sweet and generous, and it pained me to do this to him!”
“You could have been a little gentler than that!” shouted Twilight.
“There’s no way to be gentle with this!” Rarity bawled. “Do you think I enjoyed hurting Spike?! Because I didn’t!” She was in full blown tears at this point.
Twilight looked at her hooves with guilt. She had no idea that Rarity had taken it so rough, she really did care for Spike, and she wanted to spare her feelings. However, there was still one thing that was not clear to her. “Why?”
The white mare gave a little sniff as she tried to pull herself together. “Pardon me?”
“If you cared about him so much, why not say yes?” asked the lavender mare.
“That’s personal!” the white unicorn snapped. “A lady does not talk about things like that.”
“Is it…” Twilight asked hesitantly, “is it really because he’s a dragon?”
The fashionista said nothing. She quickly turned around and slowly headed up the stairs. “Excuse me Twilight, but I have a lot of work I need to do today, and I’m afraid that I can’t afford to be distracted. Please show yourself out.” She continued up the stairs, and if Twilight could have seen her, she would have seen the tears flowing down her face like a river.
Twilight stood dumbstruck for a few moments, watching her friend head up stairs and disappearing around the corner. She decided to leave and give her friend some space; she must have been dealing with so much right now.
“She just needs a bit of time alone,” she said to herself. “I guess I’ll just have to tell Spike this…” She sighed. “Rarity’s right, there isn’t going to be a gentle way to do this.”
“TWILIGHT! TWILIGHT!” a strained and exhausted voice called out. From the town of Ponyville, Twilight’s four other friends, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Applejack and Pinkie Pie all were running towards her, their faces worried and exhausted. “Twilight, there you are! We’ve been looking all over for you!”
“Hey girls, what’s up?” smiled as her friends walked up to her.
“It’s Spike, Twi!” exhausted Rainbow. “Fluttershy saw him running into the Everfree Forest! Alone!”
“I tried to stop him…” whispered Fluttershy, looking away in shame as if she did something wrong. “But I didn’t want to go into the Everfree alone…I’m sorry.”
“It ain’t your fault, sugar cube,” comforted Applejack. “Y’all did nothing wrong.”
Twilight rushed past her friends in full gallop towards the forest. “Well, come on girls! We have to go find him!”
“But what about Rarity?” asked Rainbow. “Aren’t we going to get her as well?”
“Trust me, she’s has her own problems at the moment…”
*****
“What on earth is a castle doing here in the middle of the Everfree?” wondered Spike.
Beyond the gates that had offered Spike safe haven from the pack of vicious Timberwolves, lay an old, overgrown, mossy castle. It’s walls were covered in vines and other overgrown creepers. The actual structure of the keep was still fairly intact, with only a few cracks in the walls and a couple of loose shingles. It looked abandon, as if no pony had been here for years…
Wanting to get out of the cold, Spike slowly walked down the bumpy brick trail that lead to the front entrance. He noticed the creepy looking gargoyles that kept staring at him, frozen in their stone, yet always watching him. It was creepy. “Why do statues always look like they’re watching you?” the little dragon mumbled to himself as he approached the front door.
Knock, knock, knock.
“Hello?” called Spike, knocking on the door again. “Is anypony there?” He put both claws on the heavy door and started to push. Slowly, the door creaked open enough for Spike to squeeze through. He didn’t bother to close the door behind him; he was a little winded from pushing it open.
The main castle entrance was dark, only the pale blue light from the windows were illuminating the room. All around Spike were old pieces of tables and chairs that had stood there for who knows how long collecting dust. Scattered across the floors were an assortment of house hold items and knick knacks: A brass candle stick, an old wind up clock, couple of teacups, an old metal tankard, a turned over hoof rest, among other things.
“This place could use a good dusting,” muttered the drake to himself. “I bet no one has lived here for a hundred years.”
“Three hundred and thirty seven,” a voice laughed, causing Spike to nearly soil himself. “But hey who’s counting!”
“Who said that!” he asked uneasily.
“Up here! By the stairs!”
He looked up the large marble staircase that lead of to the other rooms of the castle. Standing at the top of the first step of stairs was a pony, his face was mostly hidden by the dirty brown hood he was wearing, but he could see his light lavender muzzle, and his crooked yellow teeth.
“Welcome dragon, to my humble abode,” the mysterious pony greeted, slowly descending the stairs. “Sorry the castle is a little bit dirty, but I don’t entertain much,” he laughed. “Most things can’t find this castle anymore!”
“Well, it is in the middle of the Everfree…” mumbled Spike.
“Really? I haven’t noticed,” the figure said sarcastically. “But where are my manners? I haven’t even offered you some tea!” With a flash of red, a clay teapot appeared in front of him, along with two floating teacups, a sugar bowl and a milk ladle. “Milk and sugar?”
“Who are you?” asked Spike.
“Me?” the pony said, hopping down the last few steps, “I think the real question is who are you?”
“I’m Spike,” the dragon responded, “from Ponyville.”
“Well, Spike from Ponyville,” the stranger said, removing his hood. “You may call me Ding-a-ling.”
His face was a dark purple, in contrast with his lighter muzzle and rotten teeth. His eyes were bizarre, his left eye was yellow with a red iris, while his right eye was blue with a white iris, and they were both rolling around his sockets like pins on a wheel. But his most unusual characteristic was his horn, or at least, he thought it was a horn….
“Umm, what on earth is that?” asked Spike, pointing to the limp thing on top of the pony’s head.
“Oh this?” Ding-a-ling asked, pointing to the flopping member on his head. “Well, this is just my why they call me Ding-a-ling!” he said happily. “Do you want to touch it?”
“Uuh, sure I guess…” said the dragon, carefully reaching out and touching the cold tip. “I’ve never seen a pony with a bell and spring on his head.”
“Guess I’m just one of a kind!” Ding-a-ling laughed, flopping the bell around. “But it has it’s perks!”
“Like what?”
“So what brings you here, little dragon?” the strange pony asked, completely ignoring the dragon. “I imagine that you didn’t come here for the scenery.”
“I was actually running away from some wolves,” said Spike. “I came here by accident.”
“Really now?” pondered the spring headed pony. “Are you sure that was all you were running from? Perhaps you were not running, but searching?” He leaned close to the dragon. “What were you looking for, my little dragon?”
“I…I was looking for my friend, Zecora,” he admitted. “She lives out here in the Everfree.”
“And why would you, Spike of Ponyville need to see Zecora of the Everfree?” asked the lavender stallion.
“That’s…” He bit his tongue. “That’s private.”
“Does it involve a cute mare?”
Spike gasped. “How did you know?”
“I didn’t!” giggled Ding-a-ling, “Until you just told me. So is that why you needed to visit this Zecora? Are you in love with her?”
“N-n-no!” stammered the dragon. “It’s not like that! It’s this other mare….”
“And…” The pony looked innocently at the dragon. “Come on Spike, if you can’t trust a stranger, who can you trust?”
“I guess…” he sighed. “Her name is Rarity, and she’s the sweetest, prettiest, and most generous mare in the world.”
“Then what’s the problem?” asked Ding-a-ling.
“She won’t date me because I’m not a pony. That’s why I was going to Zecora’s, to see if she could make a potion to turn me into a stallion.”
The strange pony started to pout his lips. “What a shame dragon, and I hate to break it to you, but there is no potion that exist that will do that for you.”
“Oh…” sighed the dragon. “Well, it was worth a shot.”
“But I would turn you into one!” Ding-a-ling said happily.
Spike’s heart almost stopped. “What did you say?”
Ding-a-ling smiled as he cleared his throat and started to sing…
“I said why not, what the hay
With a poof! I’ll make your day
Turn into a stallion, nice and strong
Cause honestly, what could go wrong?
I bet you’re asking yourself why,
‘How could I be such a guy?’
To help a dragon that I’ve never met before? ~”
“Well kind of actually…”
“Stop right there, hold the phone!
Any doubts that I should know?
Are you concerned of a price to pay?
A bargain to make, a game to play?
Because I promise you a pact
To not breach our contract.
So what do you say? What do you say?
Will you let me make your day?
And send your worries all away?
So tell me Spike….”
A paper contract appeared in Ding-a-ling’s hoof. “So what do you say, dragon? Want to become a stallion?”
“You can really do that?” Spike asked excitedly. “Can you really make me into a stallion?”
“I don’t know,” cackled the pony. “Can I?”A mirror poof in front of the Spike and into his claw. He stared into his reflection.
“I’m—I’m a-a--” He stared wide eye at the mirror, for in the reflection stared back a purple coated unicorn, with a spikey green mane. “I’m a pony!” He ran his claw—no, his hoof through his newly formed mane and coat, his hard and cold scales being replaced with a warm coat and a soft mane. His eyes were no longer reptilian, but happy round pony eyes. “I’m a pony! This is great, I can’t wait to show Rarity!” But suddenly, the mirror flashed, and when Spike opened his eyes, he was back to being a dragon, a hideous, ugly, grotesque dragon. “NO!! Change me back! Please! I’ll do anything!”
“Then sign this contract,” smiled Ding-a-ling, levitating the paper ad a quill towards Spike. The little dragon glanced curiously at the contract.
To whomever signs this document to will be transformed into whatever their hearts desires, be it a dragon, pony or even a moderately intelligent peacock, whatever best form that their love one desires, the customer shall be immediately transformed into that….
[SIGN HERE] ___________________
Spike quickly skimmed through the rest of it, not really reading after those first few paragraphs. It seemed simple enough and if signing a piece of paper was all he needed to do to become a stallion, then he would sign a million contracts.
“So, do we have a deal?” pondered the pony.
Spike snatched the quill from the air. “Heck yeah we do!” He quickly scribbled his name down on the document. The second he finished dotting his ‘I’ the paper rolled up and away from him. Ding-a-ling started to laugh, falling onto the floor in his hysterical fit. “What’s so funny Ding-a—DOFF!!” Pain struck through the dragon. Spike fell to all four as he felt a tingling in his claws, he raised one up, expecting his digits to shrink, wither away or fall off and his hand become a hoof. But they didn’t.
Instead they started to grow. Each finger shot out, doubling in length and thickness. His normally trimmed and petite claws grew into jagged curved blades. He felt his arm start to stretch out like taffy, and his muscles expanding like balloons, in an almost painful experience.
“Wha- what’s happening to me?!” yelled the dragon, his nose shooting out of his face, forming a long narrow muzzle. “This wasn’t part of the deal!”
“Oh but it was Spike!” cackled Ding-a-ling, “You should have read the contract!”
“I DID READ THE CONTRACT!” roared Spike, clamping his mouth shut with his oversized hands. His high, boyish voice had been morphed into one that was deep and gravelly, like a wild animal or a monster. “THIS WASN’T IN IT!!!”
“Give it another read, then,” said the pony, handing the contract over to Spike, the dragon fumbling with the paper with his new hands. He got it open and started to read.
To whomever signs this document to will be transformed into whatever their hearts desires, be it a dragon, pony or even a moderately intelligent peacock, whatever best form that their love one desires, the signer shall be immediately transformed into that….
HOWEVER, the signer must first be able to find love as the opposite appearance than he/she desired to turn into. Be it troll, toad, or jabberwocky. The signer will live as this altered “beast” until the signer is able to find another one to love, and to have them to love them back, despite their hellish appearance. In which case the signer will be reverted to a form that the loved one so desires.
If however, the signer is unable to find one to accept him/her as he/she is within fourteen months upon signing, then the contract will be terminated and the signer will be not be transformed into their desired form or their original one, and must remain a “beast” for the rest of their days.
[SIGN HERE] __Spike_____________
“WHERE DID THESE WORDS COME FROM?” bellowed Spike as his body started to grow. “I DIDN’T SIGN UP FOR THIS!!”
“I have signed proof that you did!” laughed Ding-a-ling.
“Spike? Is that you?”
Both the dragon and the spring headed pony turned around, standing in the middle of the room were all of Spike’s friends, minus Rarity. They were all gazing at the dragon, expression of horror and amazement stricken across their faces.
Twilight took a few steps forward. “Spike! W-what happened?!”
Ding-a-ling smiled. “The dragon wanted to become a pony, so I made a little deal with him! a little quid pro quo, if you will.”
“Spike…is this true?” asked Twilight, looking at the dragon as his chest bulged out, and his abdomen started to stretch. “Is this all because of what she said?”
Even through the final transformations, Spike was able to shed a tear. “I’m…I’m sorry Twilight,” he whispered, his voice still very loud.
“Don’t feel bad, Spike!” laughed the crazy pony. “You have four hundred and twenty days until this all becomes permanent. That’s plenty of times to break the spell.”
“Break what spell?” asked Rainbow, scratching her head.
“This one!” laughed Ding-a-ling. The room started to become windy, as the mares all screamed in fright as the turbulence picked them up. Rainbow tried her best to keep control but soon a teacup smashed into her face and she vanished in a poof of smoke. As Applejack was doing her best to keep a grip on the ground, the cowpony got knocked in the head with a metal tankard, and she too vanished. Similar fates were bestowed to all the ponies. Twilight collided with an old clock, while Pinkie Pie collided with a brass candle stick, and poor Fluttershy got smacked in the flank with the hoof rest. Each pony was hit with a household object before disappearing.
“What did you do to my friends?!” raged Spike, grabbing the pony with his massive claws, his new freakish body was incredibly strong, even if it was ugly. “I swear to Celestia if you hurt them!—“
“Ohhhhhhhh….”
“…Pinkie?”
From the floor, the strangest thing happened, the candlestick that collided with Pinkie Pie got up and rubbed its head, “Wow, that was weird! I felt all…waxy inside. Hey, does anypony smell something burning?”
The hoof rest got up on all four legs. “Oh, dear…I think we made a mess.”
“AHHHHHH!!” screamed Pinkie, “A TALKING HOOF REST, IT’S MY WORST NIGHTMARE COME TRUE!!”
“Pinkie, is that you, sugar cube?” the tankard ask. “I must have been hit harder than I thought with that tankard cup. I could of sworn that that candlestick sounded just like Pinkie Pie.”
“Applejack...” the clock said, “I think that Pinkie Pie IS the candlestick!”
“AWWW Come on!” complained a tea cup that sounded a lot like Rainbow Dash. “How come I have to be the stupid tea cup?!”
The five enchanted items continued bickering between themselves while Spike stared dumbfounded at them. “What did you do to them?”
“Added them to the contract,” said the crazy pony. “They’ll stay that way until you can complete the contract like a good little dragon... or be cursed forever if you fail.” He started to walk towards one of the windows, “Well, I’ll be keeping in touch with you, dragon. I do wish you the best of luck with your contract, and you can stay in the castle since your residence in Ponyville has been terminated.”
“What do you mean?” asked the large dragon.
“This contract, it’s very special, all who sign it are erased from the minds of all who knew them!
"
“So…our friends…the princesses…Rarity…”
“Have no idea that you or those talking knick knacks ever existed!” Ding-a-ling laughed. “Keeps all this fair, we don’t want you going and telling everyone you use to be a cute little dragon after all.” He gave one final cackle before disappearing, no smoke cloud, no fading into the air, but just disappearing, as if he didn’t exist.
But what he had done was all too real. Spike took a look at the mirror that had once shown him as a pony. Now, all it showed was a monster. A monster with sharp fangs, a long snout, and dark eyes like a demon. A beast that was hideously large, about seven feet tall with its only counter his newly formed muscles. He was a fully grown dragon, the most terrifying creature in Equestria.
“Spike?” The clock that Twilight had turned into hopped next to him. “We heard everything…We’re all really sorry that this happened to you.”
“Don’t be,” muttered the dragon, “it’s my own fault. I should have known that this wouldn’t work. His name was Ding-a-ling, for Celestia’s sake!”
“Don’t be so hard on yourself,” smiled the Twiclock. “We’ll help you break the spell!”
“What’s the point?” sighed the dragon.
“What do you mean? Don’t you want to break the spell?”
“The only way I can do that is if somepony is able to love me, and me to love them back,” moaned the drake, looking back at the mirror. “I’ll only ever love one mare, and that mare will never love me back…I mean look at me, Twilight.” He stared at his hideous reflection.
“Who could ever love a beast?”
See I told you!! So yeah that wraps up everything in a nutbolt, this was considered a bit of a prolouge really. Now the REAL story can get on its way!!
Thank you my fantasic editor Bunsen, who edits things like a boss. You go girl! (and also Not Worthy, who has been more than helpful as well!)
also, thank you for making this my best launch yet! almost 500 veiws in the first week and over 100 trackers and 62 thumbs! thank you to my fans. both the old ones and you new guys. you are all fantastic!
x forever!
Before I start reading.... DWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA @ message from author.....
you're totally ripping off Beauty and the Beast here.
i like it!
1209107 That was a bit off the point, that there would be a mix of similar and differnece to keep things interesting. and if you were refering to the "Who could ever love a beast" line, well i just could not resist!
panlasangpinoy.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/Mashed-Potato-1024x768.jpg
Why must you talk about food?!
Rainbow the Teacup! I love it! Seriously, hope to see the next chapter soon and things work out.
Spike looks kind of cool in the picture.
.... you know what...everything was just screaming that movie, but I remained blind to it.... so... so blind... anyways i think I caught two errors.
"He ran blindly, sprinting pass the ponies in town. The odd mare or stallion would give Spike a concerned or confused look, but one pursued him."
I think you meant none.
I can't find the other one now, but you repeated two words that didn't need to be repeated.
I still don't trust you.... o.O Spike better not be a pony at the end of this our im going to be very disappointed.
Great job with this chapter so far, I love the who twist that you did with both spike and well the Mane 5 in turning them into the furniture from the movie. I am also very interested in the Ding-a-ling. I am looking forward in reading the next chapter and see how Rarity meets up with them and how that will work since they all know who Rarity is.
Keep up the great work.
This is getting mighty interesting
Also, I noticed some errors you might want to fix:
"would be cool, but I here that earth ponies"
hear*
"had no idea that Rarity had taken it so ruff"
rough*
“I’ve never seen a pony
with a ponywith a bell and spring on his head.”The hoof rest got up on all for legs
four*
Hope to see an update soon!
let me get this straight...
1) instead of the Prince being cursed by a witch for not sheltering her from the rain (or in the original story (La Belle et la Bête) a fairy) he is fooled by a con-pony into an altered contract (meaning it was changed after signing and is legally considered null-and-void)
2) instead of a house-full of servants and the time until the last rose peddle (or in the original it's the roses themselves (I think... because they don't really say)) he's given exactly 14 months and his friends are changed with him because they apparently stumbled into him
3) instead of being a lesser known lord (meaning that he was either in a holiday home that was sought after for seclusion or that he did not flaunt his power) he's wiped out from all the memory in the world
4) and I'm guessing, because you haven't gotten to this part yet. But I'm guessing that instead of Belle being 'given' to the prince/beast by her father in exchange for his life after stumbling onto his property (again in the original, it was because he tried to take a flower and was given the flower in exchange for either him or belle) I bet you're just going to skip to the chase and have her curiosity lead her into the castle and meet him/them
but that's just the differences that I can remember reading... (there could be more major ones, but i'm too lazy to re-read them)
I'm interested in seeing where this is going but the whole ->everyone is also transformed and mind-wiped is a bit much
if they just forgot what they saw ding-a-ling and he said telling any one would break contract would be another
Since ponies don't know about dragons, spike could just say he had a large growth spurt
you just want to be careful about how this progresses otherwise you will get a lot of hate if everyone starts calling this a Beauty and the beast rip-off
(also this has givin me idea for my own sparity but unfortunately all i can ever come up with are short scene bits --summary-> the five of them find spike in the castle thrashing in pain, feral from his magically forced growth)
Tsk tsk tsk...
Well this is intresting, but I do have to say with Spike what he is now, this is going to be a very, very awesome story
But I do have to agree on this+=FOR EVER
A spell that affects the memory of absolutely all Equestria? came on, What does everyone thinks, that Discord, Nightmare Moon and Chrysalis defeated themself? And what stops Spike from going to Canterlot and ask celestia for help? even if she doesn´t remember him, i bet she´ll be willing to help. I refuse to believe that someone called Ding-a-ling is more powerful than Celestia.
and yes... English is my second language, I apologize for any grammatical horror in my post
Awesome chapeter dude and I require more singing!
1215128
Don't forget that Rarity's unaffected. It could be easily believable that she's sole wielder of the elements.
Also I should have said this 5 days ago, please don't make prince bluebloods gaston XD
1237302 why not? and then who the hell will be gaston? hmm
1237370
Oh god.....even blueblood doesn't deserve that XD
1237590 you see... there are 3 ponies i can not stand in mlp.
prince blueblood, diamond tiara, and for somereason filly pinkie pie
my hatred for them is beyond human, and i will make you hate them just as much as i do
1237608
Funny because mines are fluttershy, rainbow dash, and celestia. XD
You want to make me hate them, give them fluttershy attitude, than put them in bs situations that should have clearly killed them.
Hrm - I like the mixing of stories. although it's mostly Beauty and the Beast I'm pretty sure Ding-a-Ling is Rumpelstiltskin. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/discord.png
Calling it right now, Ding-A-Ling is either Discord, or at least a part of Discord. XD Fantastic job all the way around.
1238294
Let him down? Really? I mean, since their little romantic nose dive in Secret of my Excess she's been more protective and affectionate towards him than ever... maybe its just my bad head seeing things but I coulda swore...
1237608Dude, u just fucked up.
1309177 dare i ask how and/or why?
1309284dude making to where Spike thinks hes a monster is just cold hearted. Now Rarity and everyone else don't even know who they are. I feel sorry for both Spike and Rarity
1311052 oh that kind of fucked up. the way u worded it made me think that i had made a story error, as i am usually quite good at avoiding, them
1311064Nah your good on that but dude that's just cold
1392034 sweet mother of odin's beard! that is alot of text! and perhaps next time give me a PM, but this was great. and i will never hate someone for trying to better my work. when i have the time, i will make this better, and i shall be getting back onto this story as soon as possible. thank you for the highly detailed edits, i will get to changeing this before i release the next chapter. thank you again. i was not worthy (I swear that's the last time i'll make that joke)
1392354 That's great. Also, that Captain Hook .gif? That was me being funny. I don't have a problem with the slant rhyme; I just wanted to use a table-flipping video once.
Rainbow is Chip the tea cup, Pinkie is Lumière the candelabra, Twilight is Cogsworth the clock, Applejack is a metal tankard which my guess is her version of Mrs. Potts the teapot man i am liking this story
wow. just read this for the first time. you have got to get back to this story. great work!
1472757 the second ftowl is done i shall
What does 'ftowl' mean?
1493744 For the ones we love
It's gonna be like Beauty and the Beast! I'M TRACKIN DA SHIT OUTTA THIS!!
Sooo... Will this go on now when you've finished the FtOWL?
1610682 Yes, the net chapter has already been sent in for edits
1611592 yay!
1st Ding-a-ling is best pony
2nd I can't believe I didn't realize that this was ponyfied version of Beauty and the Beast. God I'm stupid.
1209289 God damn it, now Im hungry.
I eagerly await the ponified "Be our guest" scene
Part of me wants to read this. And part of me wants to STAY AWAY AT ALL COSTS! XD (good story though )
Okay, I hate to say this, but I think I know why I hate this chapter so much.
Now, again, please do NOT be discouraged by this; I don't think I expressed myself well enough, and everything I'm saying may just be me. Please exercise caution with reading this.
It has nothing to do with grammar (although this chapter needs editing--
--, nor is it the prose, the characters or the setting. Unfortunately, it's the choices that were made dealing with the plot.
I believe it began with his signing of the contract. His not noticing that other part seemed very bad, but it's probably the way you worded it.
So here, you have this paragraph promising his deepest desires AND THEN having him sign it. The extra words that come upon rereading are introduced very poorly, in my opinion; it seems less like an act of blind desperation and more like lazy trickery. Now, I could get behind this if, say, you had Spike skim over that part, or you had that part in very small unreadable print or even in another language; as it stands, though, it just seems thrown in to move the plot along.
(I would personally prefer having him sign it without even reading the rest of it, but what you have here: "Spike gave it another read through, it seemed simple enough," makes it seem like he read the entire thing at first.)
But that may be just me; others loved this chapter, and I'll admit that this complaint isn't one of my major ones.
And neither is this one (although I'll admit that this may not be something you've done wrong, but may just be me having a problem with it):
I hate to say it, but this just seems forced. I understand you're trying to make them be like the transformed servants, but it's done without good explanation. I can't think of any good reason this happened. I don't see how it adds any sort of dynamic to the story or the characterization; I don't know what will be different about their interactions; it seems to be tacked on. In the original Disney movie, he mistreated his servants and then he HAD to be kinder to them to not destroy them (I think); here, I doubt Spike will alter his interactions for them in any effective way.
I can imagine him hiding away from them, even though he may need them... in some way. Unfortunately, I don't even see this working, and please hear me out: He is now a larger dragon, and therefore he will have to be more careful around the ponies. Now there is one MAJOR problem with this: in the original Disney movie, the Beast had to overcome a flaw (that flaw being overcoming his major problem with appreciating others and treating them kindly--even though that really didn't apply to his servants, as this "Beauty and the Beast" fic challenges), but here, Spike doesn't. He didn't (note the past tense) have a problem with rage or anger or hurting ponies, so this possibility doesn't work for me.
However, I may just not be seeing the possibilities in it; maybe i'm just overthinking it, and I think I just confused myself.
This part, however, I think you took too far:
This just seems to be taking it too far. Why do their friends have to forget about them? Why do the princesses? I just don't think you made the right choice here. I dunno, there is something about this part that just irks me.
So, I don't like this chapter merely because it confuses me. That's it. Sorry, but that's it. I don't feel like the amnesia spell is necessary; that's the big kicker for me, while the others are just there as irksome things. I don't know if I'm missing something, but as it stands, it bothers me.
Again, please don't feel discouraged; you may've explained everything in the third chapter, or written a very nice third chapter. Either way, please PLEASE don't feel discouraged by anything I've said.
1209289
That makes me hungry.
You know, at least the prince in B&tB sorta deserved what he got, but Ding-a-ling's just a jerkass.
Rainbow Dash the teacup? Win.
I think this sums up this fanfic(at this time)
>>>“Is it…” Twilight asked hesitantly, “is it really because he’s a dragon?”>>>
Twilight continued, "Because, really, that's not a societal issue at all. I mean, Celestia has had lovers of pretty much every sapient species on the planet... including dragons..."
Rarity gaped...
Twilight added, "Including FULL-GROWN dragons.." She turned about and trotted calmly from the boutique.
Rarity stood stock-still, eyes frozen wide-open in shock as her battered mind attempted to rectify the information it had been given by formulating mental images that only served to send her careening ever closer to stark-raving madness.