• Published 18th Jul 2020
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Welcome to the Bureau - daOtterGuy



Sunset Shimmer joins the Bureau to track down Altered Objects.

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C3 Partner in Crime (Edited)

Sunset released a loud yawn as she stepped off the Cabin elevator and into a back alley. Through the open passage on the other side, she could see the entrance to Canterlot High. A ding behind her signified the elevator’s exit.

Unconcerned, as she was certain the elevator would appear again when she needed it, Sunset made her way to the school across the front lawn, wading through a steady stream of other students as she mulled over her thoughts.

Back in Equestria, she had been able to skip the obligatory schooling due to her status as personal student to a Princess, but without that status, she would be forced to attend subpar classes with everyone else. It was unfortunate as her limited experience with the education system back in Equestria was lackluster compared to her private schooling.

Throwing open the doors, she dug out her phone, a gift from the Bureau she had spent all of last night familiarizing herself with, and opened the notepad app.

Her typed out schedule noted her first class was something called “homeroom” in room 203 with someone named Mr. Cranky.

Swiveling her head, she spied a set of stairs leading up to the second floor where her destination would presumably be located.

Making her way up step by step, she mentally took stock of her inventory. The phone, a new backpack, several notebooks, a laptop (that she hadn’t even bothered trying to figure out yet), and enough stationery supplies to wage war against a fledgling nation.

The Cabin had certainly made good on its contract. All the aforementioned items had been in a simple bedroom the Cabin had conjured across from the Chalkboard’s containment unit.

In addition, there had been an International ID including a photo of herself, and an informative book titled “So, You’re From Another Dimension” written by someone named The Traveler.

Despite the childish presentation, there had been crayon drawings alongside the professional diagrams; it had caught her up on everything she needed to know about this world including its mannerisms, greetings, and slang.

There had also been a substantial section on reproduction and sex, which, if she was ever in the mood, would be good to know. Especially as everything seemed to work the same as it did in her homeworld minus some size.

As she stepped off onto the staircase landing and began searching for her room number, she mentally groaned. Her position required her to… get along with others. She couldn’t afford to make enemies, nor could she burn through any initial goodwill she may garner as a new transfer.

On top of that, she needed to find a min— partner, which would probably be an easier feat to accomplish if she didn’t default to her usual assertive personality or “fireballs fix all my problems” mentality.

Regrettable as that had done a lot of good for her in the past.

A bell rang signifying that she had about five minutes to find her classroom. Something stressed upon within the school section of the guide.

Renewing her search in earnest, she scanned along the corridor as she hoped that she could find a partner quickly and not end up burning the school to the ground.


Sunset brought out her phone and noted the time on the home screen as 8:15. That would mean it took her fifteen minutes to already be sick of this stupid place.

Grand.

And on the note of stupid things, Sunset refocused on the source of ire.

“—So, I told Rarity that she must be new, but Rarity said that couldn’t be true because it’s so late in the semester, but then I said that it’s not like people can’t transfer whenever they want, but Rainbow Dash said that means you’re some kind of weirdo, and Applejack said—”

The human that had plonked down into a seat across from her, dragged form a nearby desk, had not taken a single breath in the entirety of the last… sixteen minutes in which she had been speaking unprompted.

She reminded Sunset of overly sweet cotton candy. Poofy pink hair, big sweet blue eyes, and clothing that would look better on a foal half her age.

An annoyance that Sunset would have expected the teacher, Mr. Cranky, to have stopped by now. However, he had looked at both of them, put on noise-canceling headphones, and announced loudly that the class should do whatever they wanted to.

Sunset was also certain he was listening to the loudest possible music to better drown everything out.

Coward.

Only sheer force of will had stopped Sunset from jury-rigging materials from around the classroom into a makeshift fireball and chucking it at the pink menace.

“—But anyways, I would have a cake already ready for you, but I had no warning that you were coming! But that’s fine, since I can make it tonight and give it to you tomorrow. So, what’s your favourite flavour? Oh, oh, oh! Don’t tell me, I wanna guess! Is it strawberry? Is it chocolate? Is it vanilla? Is it mango? Is it chimichanga? Is it cherry? Is it—”

Tuning out the girl’s incessant babbling, she instead hyper-focused onto the girl’s jumble of colourful ribbons tied into the tornado of a hairstyle she had. The haphazard placement was a mass of clashing colours that were driving her inner organizer mad.

One in particular, a green ribbon along the right side of her hair, was really bothering her as it didn’t match with any of the other ribbons. It stood out in stark contrast within the chaotic mass.

Before she could decide if she would be able to discreetly remove the offending bow, it moved.

Sunset blinked.

“—Are there any party games you like? Oh, oh, oh, you seem like a dancing type of girl! Do you do the jitterbug? Or dabbing? Or jazz hands? Or blues? Or ballroom? Or tango? Or—”

In morbid fascination, Sunset watched as a long, scaly muzzle slowly inched its way out alongside the girl’s green ribbon. After a short while, a small head with enormous purple eyes revealed itself.

It made direct eye contact with Sunset.

A horrible chill crawled along her skin.

While keeping its eyes locked on her, the alligator living in the girl’s hair opened its mouth revealing its toothless gums, chomped on the bow, and retreated back into its poofy pink lair.

A quick peek to the side showed her a boy with a gray mohawk and dark skin who had watched the whole thing unfold with a bored expression on his face. He shook his head slightly, left to right, so as not to catch the notice of the jabbering girl.

Understanding his message, Sunset returned the gesture with a firm nod and renewed her focus on the now mentally named Gator Girl.

“—So anyway what’s your name?” The Gator Girl finished.

She looked at Sunset expectantly, her head resting atop her arms, pinned to the table. A manic grin was spread across her face that seemed as if it would split her face in half.

Sunset took a deep breath.

“I transferred here because of extenuating circumstances, my favourite cake flavour is red velvet, I like card games especially poker, I prefer salsa though sometimes dabble in swing, and my name is Sunset Shimmer.”

Sunset extended a hand forward.

The girl shook it enthusiastically with both hands nearly dislocating Sunset’s shoulder. “That’s super-duper amazing, Sunny! I’m Pinkie Pie! We’re going to be great friends!”

Another face splitting grin followed. Sunset returned the gesture with a nervous smile. Sunset mentally added Pinkie to her “People-NOT-To-Mess-With” list and scratched her off as a possibility for the Bureau.

If this was what she would be subjected to everyday, Homeroom was officially Sunset’s most hated class.

If only because she would have to rename it to “Survival 101”.


Sunset was disappointed. Her current class was mathematics and she was already utterly bored.

Her expectations had been far too high as she had been grossly unaware that “high school level math” had actually meant “math I’d learned when I was ten”. A fact to be added to Sunset’s growing list of complaints about this institution of supposed “higher learning”.

Admittedly, she was a gifted prodigal genius tutored privately by the Princess, but even she knew the average pony should be learning something more complicated than basic algebra.

On top of the boredom, the teacher, for lack of a better word, was attempting to assert dominance as the smartest in the room without realizing they were barking at their superior.

Question after question had been thrown at her since she had sat down, and Sunset had answered each perfectly.

She’d even had the satisfaction of correcting one of the teacher’s mistakes, delivered in the most smarmy and condescending tone Sunset had been capable of.

The sheer rage the teacher — who shall never be named as they weren’t worth remembering — had shown after being bested by someone they saw as a child made Sunset smirk in satisfaction.

It had been enjoyable for a brief moment before the stark realization of having to attend this waste of time every day for half a year crashed in.

As Sunset internally grumbled about her unfortunate circumstances, the teacher, seemingly tired of being one-upped by their better, turned her ire upon a girl sitting behind Sunset that had snickered at Sunset’s earlier correction.

She glanced over her shoulder at the girl. She was fit, clearly an athlete, with rainbow hair combed to a peak and dressed in comfortable athletic wear with the school’s logo The Wondercolts emblazoned on every article of clothing.

“You, uh, sure you wouldn't want to ask someone else?” the girl asked nervously, “Maybe Sunset again?”

Glancing back, Sunset saw an evil smirk alight on the teacher’s face. “Oh, I’m certain I would like you to answer, Ms. Dash.”

By the sneer the teacher had when she said the girl’s name, there was clearly some bad blood, or this “Ms. Dash” was a favoured victim.

Could be both really.

The teacher fired off a convoluted question for determining the distance between two points. It was obtuse, difficult to parse, and a waste of time to calculate.

It was also, admittedly, difficult even for Sunset if only by the annoying number of calculations required to answer it.

A scowl marred Sunset’s face. The teacher was clearly out for blood.

Expectedly, Rainbow Dash struggled to answer the question. In the interest of spiting her intellectual inferior, Sunset opened up one of her notebooks, and wrote down the answer including the correct steps to calculate it in a large, easy-to-read font.

Carefully, Sunset began to tap her notebook with her pencil making a point of emphasizing each pound on the paper.

She smirked when she noticed the teacher scowl, and Dash began to answer the question correctly.

“Well, Ms. Dash, that is… correct,” the teacher offered begrudgingly. “You may sit back down. Now, we’ll start off by reviewing distance equations as I can tell many of you have forgotten them based on the blank stares Ms. Dash received as she answered. Try to keep up.”

“Thanks,” Sunset heard a raspy voice tell her.

Sunset smiled as she wrote down the barest notes about the lesson to remind herself later when she needed to review for any upcoming tests.

She showed an inferior her place, earned some favour with another student, and proved that she was still the smartest person in the room.

All in a good day’s work.


It was noon. Sunset had managed to survive her morning classes despite how lackluster they were. She was concerned about History — a subject she was weak in even on the other side of the portal — but nothing else so far had made her question her ability to pass.

As she stood in line at the cafeteria, she mused on how behind in education the school was. It was a good year or two behind Equestria, which was odd considering the human’s apparent reliance on technology in lieu of magic.

Thankfully, she could simply enjoy a meal at no expense to herself as the Cabin, somehow, had paid for an entire semester of lunches.

Sunset was standing just behind one female student holding a plastic tray.

“The Great and Powerful Trixie demands a meal as magnificent as she is,” the girl said in a haughty tone.

A quick duck of her head hid the resultant snort of amusement that came from Sunset.

The unamused lunch lady — a stout, elderly woman with graying hair and thick forearms dressed in a full-body apron — quirked an eyebrow then unceremoniously dumped a pile of red slop onto the girl’s tray.

The girl — Trixie presumably — grimaced. “Trixie does not suppose you would have something less…” she poked the goopy mass hesitantly, “... mysterious?”

Keeping her expression neutral, the lunch lady slammed her spatula into the palm of the other with a loud slap.

Trixie gulped. “Never mind. The most Grateful and Conforming Trixie appreciates the slop and will eat it with utmost reverence.”

She raced off, managing to clear half the room before tripping and spilling her food across the white tile.

Sunset ignored the girl’s efforts to clean up the mess and moved up in the line as the lunch lady plopped more of the mysterious red slop onto her own tray.

“What is this?” Sunset asked, genuinely curious, “I’ve never seen it before.”

“Sloppy Joe, Sonny. Seasoned red meat,” the lunch lady replied.

Her mind came to a screeching halt as she processed what she had heard. As the gears began to spin once more, she looked down at the food in open revulsion.

“It’s meat?” Sunset said in open disdain, “I don’t suppose you have anything that hasn’t been slaughtered?”

“Oh, great, another one of you vegetarian types.” The lunch lady gave a weary sigh. “Look, due to budget cuts, we don’t have a lot of options anymore.” She gestured to the revolting heap of murdered flesh with a spatula, uncaring. “You’re either going to have to accept it as is, or start bringing your own food.”

“Suits me,” Sunset stated, “Better than this disgusting garbage.”

Grabbing a spoon from a nearby tray, she scraped the revolting food into the nearest trash can, threw the red stained empty platter onto the dirty pile at the end of the line, and made her way towards the exit.

“Hey, now, wait a darn minute,” a thick accented voice called out to her, “Ya can’t be disrespecting her like that!”

Sunset turned to the source of the voice and beheld a thickly muscled girl with a tightly bound blonde ponytail, freckles, and tanned skin. From her practical attire and the veins along her arms, Sunset concluded that she must be some type of farmhand.

Her accent further cemented this observation as it resembled that of rural ponies back in Equestria. Those same ponies that had always taunted her for being an upstart noble unicorn.

She immediately disliked the girl.

I,” Sunset emphasized, “do not have to do anything. People do not automatically gain my respect by right of existing.”

“Well, ya could have been less rude about it. Declined politely instead of being a darn prick about it,” the girl angrily retorted.

Polite doesn’t extend to random strangers in the lunchline at school or people who call me out in a public space. Bye.”

Without a second glance, Sunset walked off feeling no need to listen to her retort. She mentally admonished herself as that stunt more than likely threw her reputation down the drain, but Sunset’s mind was focused on other things.

Mainly, that her new body was designed to consume meat.

The guide she had read last night had mentioned this particular detestable piece of information, but Sunset had presumed it to be an odd prank. Coming from a species that was considerably lower on the food chain with neighbours who sometimes enjoyed the partaking of horse meat, confirmation of this did not endear Sunset to so-called “Humankind”.

Whipping out her phone, she opened up a food delivery app she had downloaded the night before and started searching for something that hadn’t been able to speak before it was served.

She needed a damn salad.


It was her second last class of the day and the one she looked forward to the least: History. It was the only class she would have to put in some effort into as her basic knowledge of Equestria was worthless, and she certainly didn’t know anything about the world she had resided in for less than a day.

Her first assignment was announced to be a group project. This would either be a blessing, or a curse depending on who she grouped up with.

Before she could even mull over her options, a girl sitting to her left volunteered herself to be “the new girl’s partner” and rotated her desk to face Sunset.

She was groomed to perfection, her makeup perfectly done and long purple hair brushed into a single wave. She was dressed in seemingly expensive clothes, either due to coming from a family of wealth or because she had a good eye for deals.

Placing her chin between her hands with her elbows propped on the table, she fluttered her exorbitantly long eyelashes.

It was clear to Sunset that she wanted something.

“So, Darling,” she said with an accent that Sunset couldn’t place, “I heard you made a less than stellar impression on a dear friend of mine at lunch.”

Sunset internally cursed.

“I’m not apologizing,” Sunset said.

“And I wasn’t asking you too.” The girl smirked. “I am simply advising you to stay clear of Applejack for a while as, and I quote, ‘she can’t wait to get hold of that varmint that thought she could get away with insulting my granny’.”

“Thanks.” Sunset made a mental note to do as advised. “Though, I do have to question why you are partnering up with the girl who insulted such a ‘dear friend’ of yours.”

“Well, Darling, since you don’t seem to be the type to ‘beat around the bush’, I’ll be quick. My reasoning is threefold.” She extended a single finger from underneath her chin. “One, we’re dear friends, but I can’t help but find some amusement in seeing someone get Applejack’s ‘goat’ considering how often she enjoys giving her ‘practical advice’ about my dress designs. Two.” She extended a second finger. “You seem smart and I would really like to get a decent grade on this project.”

She extended her final finger with a smirk. “And finally, I find it difficult to believe you’re a horrible person as you helped a second of my dearest friends against a certain uptight math teacher.”

Sunset mentally frowned. She was surprised to see someone who seems to want to emulate the nobility associate with a farmhand and a jock. Odd, but useful information, as that meant she might be well connected in the school.

Something to potentially use later, but for now she had to clear up a misconception.

“Your honesty is appreciated, but you are mistaken on one thing.” The girl quirked an eyebrow questioningly. “History is my worst project.”

She clicked her tongue. “Ah, just my luck, of course. Well, regardless, I’m sure between the two of us we can put together something at least passable.” She extended her hand forward. “Rarity Belle.”

Sunset shook Rarity’s offered hand. “Sunset Shimmer.”

“Excellent.” Rarity smiled brilliantly. “With the pleasantries out of the way, shall we get started?”


Sunset opened her locker and switched out her current textbook for another. Her day was to end with Chemistry, another class she presumed that she would add to her list of things she already knew.

Mentally reviewing her notes from History, she internally groaned. Neither her nor Rarity were particularly strong in that subject, which meant both of them would have to put in the effort to do well. This, on top of preparing for the containment of the Celtic Dress, was going to make the coming week irritating.

Thankfully, Rarity was at least competent and willing to put in the work.

“Um, excuse me, but would you be interested in volunteering at the local animal shelter?”

Closing her locker door with a slam, she took in the source of the soft voice that had spoken to her.

A tall, willowy girl with long flowing pink hair dressed in a long sleeved one piece dress that hid as much of herself as possible. She shrunk at Sunset’s gaze while meekly holding out a colourful flier towards her, a stack of similar papers pressed close to her chest.

Cutesy animals in bright colours decorated the flier alongside a declaration that the local animal shelter was recruiting new volunteers.

“I mean, only if you can manage,” the girl continued, “I wouldn’t want to impede on your free time. Oh dear, I’m probably being a bother. Oh, I am being a bother. I shouldn't have even started. Now, I feel ridiculous for even asking. I’m so sorry for bothering you.”

“Sorry, wait, slow down,” Sunset interjected, “Why are you apologizing? I haven’t even said anything yet.”

The girl looked hopeful. “Which means you might say yes?” Her expression then became downturned. “No, it probably means I interrupted you. Oh goodness, I’m being such a bother. I’ll leave you alone now.”

With her head lowered, the odd girl raced off down the corridor.

Sunset just stared after her in utter bafflement. Between Pinkie Pie and this girl, this school was shaping up to be filled with weird people.

Shaking her head, Sunset made her way to her next class while making a note to ask Rarity about her tomorrow.


Sunset burst through the front doors of the school along with the throng of liberated students that rushed past her. She walked towards the statue where she knew the portal would be located, and dropped her bag just at the foot of it.

A pegasus in flight. An oddity in a world in which they didn’t seem to exist but were in abundance back in Equestria.

She laid a hand tentatively on the surface of the base pedestal then flinched away when it rippled in response.

Still there.

Looking inward, she reviewed her day. She was disappointed in her inability to find a definitive partner, but it had been an unrealistic hope to find one on the first day of school.

However, she had also expected to find at least a few prospects.

As it stood, Pinkie Pie was a flat no. She could handle the weirdness of the bureau, but that girl was in a league of her own and not one Sunset wanted to take part in.

Rainbow Dash was a viable option as an athlete and Sunset had made a favourable impression by helping her out earlier that day, but she was friends with Applejack who she had most definitely not. An apology would be required and Sunset refused.

Therefore, those two were also both no.

Rarity seemed like a good option, but was also seemingly too well connected. Sunset needed discretion, at least early on, and for what good points she had, Rarity didn’t seem like the type to keep things to herself.

Outside of ones she knew personally, there was the girl with the fliers, but Sunset would need to inquire about her with Rarity and she seemed far too similar to an invertebrate.

There was the boy with the mohawk from homeroom as well Trixie from the Cafeteria, but that would require joining their social circles to potentially find them to be a good fit. She already didn’t want to speak with other people. Going out of her way to meet more strangers was not aligned with her interests.

Besides that, she didn’t have the time.

It was Monday. The Celtic Dress would appear Friday. She had to find a partner by then or she would need to wait a month for its next appearance.

The Cabin would probably give her the time to complete the task, but Sunset didn’t want to push her luck and lose her only means of staying in this world by being fired for incompetence.

Even past that, Sunset Shimmer would not be released from a position of power because she wasn’t good enough.

That. Simply. Won’t. Do.

An involuntary growl escaped her as her frustrations boiled over. Making friends was not one of her skills. She had gotten by doing things alone with her ambition, her drive, and her talent.

Many had tried to ride along with her upward momentum with their own ambitions of grandeur, but Sunset had never been one to allow it.

It had given her a deep distrust of others. Finding someone she could trust went against her very nature. She needed someone that would have her back and keep her alive.

That was a tall order for a self made mare.

At the end of the day, she needed, at a minimum, a loner who was physically capable, and would listen to her without question.

As if that person even existed.

“Hey.”

Startled out of her train of thought, she turned to the source of the interruption.

A tall boy with wavy blue hair stood next to her with a nervous smile. She reminded him of a cornered animal, all twitches and anxious movements.

“And you are?” Sunset replied.

“Flash Sentry.” He rubbed the back of his head. “Just saying hi.”

“Why?” Sunset asked, immediately suspicious of his intentions. She tried for a stab in the dark. “Desperate for friends?”

Flash coughed into his hand, looking away with a sheepish look on his face. “Well, I mean I know people, but, you know, it never hurts to meet someone new, you know?”

A loner then.

She did a cursory glance and mentally matched him against the boys she had met that day. He seemed to be of an average build meaning he could probably do the bare minimum of physical labour.

The gears in Sunset’s brain began to spin. “Are you busy Friday night?” she asked.

“No, not really. Why?”

“Great, can you meet me at the edge of the Everfree Forest that night at 9 O'clock?”

He looked at her with a confused expression before giving a wide grin. “Yeah, definitely.”

She smirked, realizing that she had found her match. “Sunset Shimmer,” she introduced herself.

“Who?” Flash asked.

“Me. I look forward to working with you.”

Flash’s face perked up as he stuttered back, “U-uh, yeah. I do too. See you tomorrow?”

“Sure. Feel free to speak to me at any time.”

With their conversation concluded, Sunset picked up her bag and walked towards the alley she had left from that morning, hopeful that the Cabin elevator would already be waiting for her.

She allowed herself a self satisfied smirk. She had acquired a minion, or partner, she supposed.

Not much of a difference really.

Author's Note:

Okay, partner/minion acquired! Onto the first Altered Item next chapter. Looking forward to writing about these two goofs~