Chapter 14: A light in the storm
At some point during my sun gazing I must have blacked out because the next thing I knew Carapace was shaking my shoulder. I groggily blinked as my gaze shifted away from the, now golden, city to the bug. After taking several seconds to let my eyes adjust to the dim room, I gave them a confused blink to ask what they had wanted.
“Well...Um,” they kicked their hoof nervously, “breakfast ends in a few minutes, and after you didn't come to it, I thought you might have gotten lost. So I went to look for you, but then I found you here still. Guess you fell asleep here.” I pondered the words for a moment. No I wasn't asleep, I was sure of that. Rather I was lost in thoughts again, but to have been able to ignore every creature waking up… Maybe she was right and I had just fallen asleep; the inky blackness of unconsciousness would explain why there was a sudden gap in my memories. Surely that can't be right though, I thought as my head swirled to recall the events. As I tried to recall them, however the torrent of thoughts tried to drag me back under once more before I was suddenly yanked free of their whirlpool by Carapace’s voice.
“You're not going to fall asleep again are you,” Carapace paused for a moment to look me over before continuing, “ Come on you must be hungry.” I shook my head, to the former question not the latter. My stomach was actually in knots over the thought of food, but at the same time most pony food sounded far from appealing. There was also the fact my body didn't want to move. Even if I wanted to move it forward it sat still, preferring the company of my mind than a room full of children. Unfortunately, my body would not get its way as the bug began nudging me forward. My lips gave a disapproving groan, but the bug didn’t seem to care.
“Come on, I’m not letting you starve on my watch.”
The next few moments was a game of will. My body's desire to stay still vs Carapace’s will to get me to eat. lamentably, the latter seems to be the winning force. Even with my hooves dug deep into the cloud floor, which gave a surprising amount of resistance despite being gaseous water vapor, the bug's determination was unreal. Carapace’s gentle shoves were enough to slowly inch me out the room and towards the dining hall. Admittedly they had far more resolve than their nervous demeanor gave off, but even still I would not be so easily dissuaded.
“Gha,” Carapace groaned, “You sure don’t make things easy.”
“I’d rather go back to the dorm,” I despondently replied in a voice barely above a hushed whisper. Carapace rolled their eyes as they seemed to give up, walking on without me. After they rounded the corner, out of sight, I gave a relieved sigh glad this was over. After taking a moment to make sure they were gone, my body staggered to its hooves in preparation to head back to the dorm rooms.
My departure, even with the wait, was premature however as when I turned back around towards the dorms, I could hear the faint hoof steps of some creature approaching. The sounds were akin to grass covered in a thin layer of ice. Soft but with a small slush to them as the full weight of the hoof came down. I had hoped it was just a straggler, returning from breakfast, but my hopes were in vain. It was as I feared, Carapace. Even if I only saw their fore leg rounding the corner, the way their chitin shimmered between greens and orange was unmistakable.
Expecting another shoving match my body lurched forward to move down the hall before they got the chance. I did not get the chance however, as a pleasant smell caught my nose like a fish hook reeling me back in towards it. The fragrance was analogous to what one would expect to find in a bakery though that wasn't quite right either as it had a sweet thang about it. Regardless of what it was, it rendered me unable to resist.
Instinctively my head turned to find the source of the smell, only to see a tray full of mixed matched breakfast goods grasped in magic; levitating just above Carapace’s head.
“I thought since you didn't want to eat there that I’d bring it to you instead,” Carapace explained wit ha hopeful but unsure smile.
Eating, there, wasn't the problem, I thought to myself.
“I wasn’t sure what you liked, so I just kind of grabbed anything I saw the other ponies eating.” I nearly asked what they had meant, before remembering Carapace's diet didn't exactly include normal pony food.
Right, emotions, I reminded myself. I doubt Carapace had any idea what 'good' food tasted like, though that was neither here nor there. I scratched the back of my head awkwardly before awkwardly telling them thanks but I was fine. Unfortunately this only seemed to make them more determined than before.
“You really should eat,” they encouraged.
“If I refuse?” Carapace seemed taken aback by my reply as if it was completely unexpected. After taking several moments to recover from their mental loop, they replied.
“Well, I encourage you to eat regardless.” Carapace’s muzzle cracked into a encouraging, but shy, smile. Though regardless of what she may say or do I was hell bent on insisting no. My body however had a different idea. Before my muzzle could even open, my stomach let out a loud grumble for the food being presented to it. Carapace’s smile swiftly lost its once nervous edge and was replaced by something more bemused.
I let out an annoyed snort of air as my head swung side to side before begrudgingly agreeing. To which Carapace gave a thankful nod as they levitated the meal towards me, noticed the plate was full of an assortment of hay related dishes, which unfortunately was the norm for these ponies, but a few fruits laid to the sides. All of which was… Palatable, but I was more than relieved to have something that was closer to resembling food than the medicine and daises I'd become accustomed to in the hospital.
With a swift flick of my hooves I grasped a dull red apple and bit into it. It was softer than I would have liked and clearly not fresh, but it wasn't rotten.
It'll have to do… As I took another bite of it I felt Carapace’s eyes follow on me again with an inquisitive gleam behind them.
Great, another round of twenty questions.
“Phoenix I was wondering if, maybe you wanted to hang out with me and my friends? I know you don't really want to be in the dining hall. I don't need to be a changeling to tell that. But you seem lonely, so I thought maybe...” Carapace’s voice trailed off after that. Truthfully it wasn’t what I’d expected to hear. I thought it would be something about who I am or why I seemed skittish, but no. The question caught me so off guard that I choked on the apple. After hacking up a disgusting ball of saliva, bile and apple I took a double take to see if I had heard Carapace right.
“Well…?” they asked again, waiting on my answer. I wanted to tell Carapace no, the last thing I wanted to do was spend time with their friends. Such answers however, would only have led to more trouble than it was worth, if our exchanges so far were any thing to go by, so instead I gave them a begrudging nod. Better to just get this over and done with, I reasoned.
The bug briefly fluttered their wings in delight before a warm smile broke across their muzzle. Then within a blink of my eyes Carapace already had my food back in their magical aurora; holding it hostage as they carried it back with them.
“Come on, they won’t wait forever,” Carapace’s hummed as they made their way towards the dining room.
The walk was thankfully short, and quieter than I had expected. When Carapace originally asked, I had expected our walk to be a game of trivia as the bug tried to dissect and learn more about me. Thankfully, I was wrong once again and instead they seemed content to just leave things as they were. As a result the walk was pleasantly quiet; allowing my mind to wander back off as my body went to auto pilot. That was until we came near the dining hall. My ears were suddenly blasted by a cacophony of cackling laughter, food smacking and hollers that dragged me back into my body. We’d barely entered the dining hall and already the harsh noise already left me drained of the will to continue this stupid idea. My body unfortunately was still on autopilot and remained that way till my flank firmly planted in a seat across from Carapace’s friends.
“Oh hey! It's uhh, you!” The bigger gryphon, Teratorn, stumbled before leaning into Carapace to ask in a not so subtle whisper, “That's the new girl right? What's her name again?” To which Carapace sighed in disappointment, but before they could answer Zeal jumped in.
“It's Phoenix!” At least I think that's what he said, as his mouth was still full of half chewed food making his words slurred and muffled. Before I even had time to confirm Zeal’s answer, his younger twin smacked the back of his head with an annoyed growl. Consequently the smack sent the food barreling directly onto my eyes and muzzle; causing me to be temporarily blinded. I with held a disgusted moan as I tried to clean it off while the two contained bickering.
“Swallow first,” Ribbon hissed angrily, causing Zeal to let out a hearty laugh.
“Phoenix!” Carapace shrilled in pure terror at the sight before quickly using their magic to wipe my face clean.
“Can you lot be any more of a pain?” The second gryphon, Star, asked as he buried his face in his left talon.
“Oh relax,” Zeal argued, “No creature died.”
“Yet,” Ribbon added with a mumble.
“Sorry about that,” Carapace apologized on behalf of their friends, “typically they're more.” They struggled to find the right words. Before they could speak however, Star interrupted.
“Before you try and sugar coat this band of misfits Carapace, let me tell you Phoenix, she's wrong.”
So carapace is a girl then, odd... I pegged them to be a guy.
“I was going to say… Less... Maladjusted, than this,” Carapace retorted, choosing her words with extreme care.
“Mal- what now?” Zeal and Ribbon questioned in unison.
“Maladjusted,” Carapace corrected.
“It means poorly adjusted, typically in refence to a social setting,” Teratorn finished.
“Are you sure you’re not just making up words to make us look dumb?” Zeal teasingly asked.
“It’s not my fault you don't read,” Teratorn said with a shrug.
“I fail to see how that relates,” Ribbon interjected.
“It helps broaden your vocabulary,” Tertorne explained.
“No creature here, except maybe Mr. Virulent Lesson, knows half the made up words you two create,” Zeal argued with a bemused snicker.
“Well if we didn't read who would lead the, benighted, of our group,” Treatorne replied, a smirk grew across his beak; as he emphasized the word. Admittedly I’d gone through my share of English courses and I had to admit it was a new one. Maybe it’s a pony term. I reasoned
“Ugh, stop using made up words,” Zeal replied as he broke into a full on laugh. His sister on the other hand seemed to take the ribbing less well. Her face became a hot red of frustration, or maybe embarrassment, as the two continued on.
“Read house of Three Eagles and you might learn a thing or two,” Teratorn continued.
“Ah, so it’s a made up gryphon word!”
“No, it may be archaic, but not made up.”
“Well in any case, how is any creature here supposed to know? No creature but you two can probably read that dusty old thing,” Ribbon interjected once again; grating her teeth a bit.
“It’s only...carry the one...631 years old,” Teratorn chided, “plus it's really good!”
“How good could it possibly be? You've read that thing five times,” Zeal objected.
“I’ll have you know It was written by Emperor Grey tail as a metaphor for the troubles he faced in trying to lead the nation his father divided,” Tortorne argued as his voice went from playful to defensive. The tone seemed to be enough to make Zeal and Ribbon back down.
What a group, I sarcastically remarked to myself, All I wanted to do was eat this stupid apple, and here I am.
New Cover art is done by once again yours truly.
As always, thanks for reading, and have a good one y'all!🍻
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Italicizing issue at the bottom, jsyk
nice chapter and good coverart
Ah, good, friens. Phoenix needed a few of those. I look forward to seeing their friendship blossom.
10645648
Thank you!
I am totally with Phoenix here. Why couldn't they just leave her alone?
10646366
In short: its a disagreement of philosophy is why.
In a meta sense: its because the moral of the story is that self isolation to the point your this disattached from the the world is a dangerous and poor life style.(not saying intorvertedness or alone time is bad. rather I seek to both vent and caution the dangers of trying to distance yourself from realty and others. ) it takes a special group of people to pull some back from that edge and let me tell you the bottom is not pretty. As such this group acts as an anchor something meant to keep Phoenix in reality.
In a contextual sense: they see a lonely so they want to try and make her less loney.
Sorry if any of thats poorly explained/convoluted. Im writing this post during my break at work. I can elaborate/discuss this further afterwards if you(or anyone else) would like.
An infelicitous concomitance indeed.
10646366
Some of you people seriously worry me.
Carapace is the kind of character I feel like many who suffer from what ails Phoenix here, quitely, subconsciously perhaps, whishes would step into their life and never let go.
This story and 'Over There' does depict extreme cases, yet their portraits of these resonates with me - and it worries me when there's people here - who are with the voices that push and keep the characters locked in... or looks down on these characters with responses both malign and benin along the lines of "pull yourself together"!!
I've been the guy to whom the goal of every day was to survive school so I could go home and disapear into a book.
I'm the guy, who probably would've been down with a serious case of self-esteem issue and depression if not for my real friends (of which I have less than can be counted on a hand.)
When I read these stories it both scares and draws me in to realise, that, if just a few things in my life had played out differently - I could've been the main character in these stories.
Had this Suit Case showed up in my life on the 'wrong day' about a decade ago - I would've signed that paper!
That ended up a bigger personal rant than I thought it would...
10685488
Well Glad I've had signal long enough to have seen this. I cant quite conjure up the words I'd wish to say in this small time I have, so instead I'll simply say I'm happy at least in part this story resonates with someone.
As someone who's misophonic, a dining hall full of children is a nightmare. Good luck Phoenix