give me a hand

Gallus got into an accident and had his arm cut off and now has a prosthetic arm and is learning to use his new arm.

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Comments ( 8 )

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Uz Naimat

Uz Naimat #1 · Jun 20th, 2020 · · ·

”How do I say this without being mean?” ~ Sunset Shimmer.

First off, there needs to have capitalization in the story and chapter titles.
Names start with an uppercase. Always.
Make use of commas and periods. You have overused the word ʼandʼ.
Questions end with a question mark. No exceptions.
Sentences in narration end with a period. You left the sentences without punctuation.
Please punctuate your dialogues properly.
Commas are thing. Use them to separate your sentences.
Your story is in the past tense. Use the past tense throughout the entire story.
Gallus doesn't have fingers, he has claws. Also, vending machines and phones don't exist in Equestria.
And edit, A Dunning-Krugger Case mentioned that [hr] is used for horizontal lines in scene breaks.

There are so many problems with this story that it almost feels like a joke. Is it a joke? Please get an editor next time you write something.

Yoshifan30

Yoshifan30 #2 · Jun 20th, 2020 · · ·

Boy that's pretty sad bad its nice story Although there is a couple of few Sentences Where kinda off And some of the capitalization should be with the names just give you a little heads up but other than that not that of a story And I probably said this so many times I am always intrested to the young 6 kids story's

Pete100