Sunburst is a stallion found on the sandy shore near his home after everyone had taken him for dead. When he swears that a mare of great beauty saved him from a watery grave, he is taken for a madpony.
Starlight Glimmer is a mare whose voice was taken to keep her from revealing the secrets that only she knows. Now, she has to choose between the life that she knew and the new world that's opening up to her.
This is the song of the mermaids, the sea, and the storms that kept them apart.
Mermaid AU. Inspired by the song Swallowed in the Sea. Original artwork by Oneiria-Fylakas, edited by me.
Chapters (5)
This is an amazing beginning! I really would like to see where this goes!
awesome chapter keep it up cant wait for the next chapter
You caught my attention, like a fish on a hook.
I really enjoyed the beginning and really look forward to seeing where this will go.
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Thank you so much! I'm glad you like the story so far!
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You're very welcome.
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No problem!
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I hope the last part amused you in some way.
Can't wait to see where this goes....
Please continue this.
I am a fan of three things that you have put in here:
1. Starlight x Sunburst
2. The little Mermaid (this is close to that)
3. Stories that make a splash.
That was a great second chapter! I usually don't like cliffhangers but the one you left us on is amazingly suspenseful! I can't wait to see what comes next!
Ouch, harsh.
Darn you, cliffhangers! Now I'll have to stick around to see what happens.
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Thank you guys! Hehe, I hate to leave all of you hanging but that's the way I roll
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ISWYDT!
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Ahh, I see what you did there. At first I thought the pony was Tempest, but it was Starlight. Cool
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You're a PUNny individual, too.
Holy heck, this is out and I didn’t even know!?
glad i checked your stories when I did or I may have missed it! I’m super excited to read this one
Very much so. Ooo, that was so lovely! I’m half wondering if the vision type thing was a result of his mind still recovering, or in this mysterious merpony was, perhaps, performing a spell...
Another great chapter! Loving this story!
That racist pony is in a higher position than Sunburst?
Can anypony say bad guy foreshadowing?
ENJOYMENT INTENSIFIES!
as does megalovania
It's good to get a chapter from Starlight's perspective.
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buuut there's a little more to him, you'll see
Subtlety isn't my middle name, unfortunately
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Aw crap plot twist dead ahead
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Lawful Stupid is what he is, somone in enemy uniform doesn't always mean they're part of the enemy.
I really liked how you started with just as much urgency and tension as you left off with. Makes the cliffhanger rewarding
That ending bit was so amusing, and the silent panic Starlight goes through was done nicely! I’m loving that Goldie Delicious is here too.
I’m beginning to sense that this is not quite the “Little Mermaid” plotline we’re familiar with - though, of course, there are similarities. I’m intrigued.
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Thanks! I'm glad you're enjoying it so far! This is a little mermaid inspired story more than it is a straight-up retelling, as the story progresses you'll see more differences
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Ooo, even better! Doubly intrigued.
awesome keep it up cant wait for the next chapter
Aww, that was a sweet chapter ending. Looking forward to another chapter!
Sunburst you are smart but dumb XD
Great new chapter! Sad about the delay of updates but looking forward to another chapter! (though is it handmaiden or hoofmaiden?)
nice new chapter keep it up cant wait for the next chapter
This is a story I'm willing to wait for.
Interesting chapter.
Flurry is going to be the best knight.
I love your world building in this story.
Wo - ho - ho things are gettin’ a little steamy in here
Ugh, great writing as always FoolAmongTheStars!!
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Hoofmaiden. After all, as Rainbow Dash so eloquently put it, 'what are hands?'
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Yeah, I figured
I read all of the chapters. That means I'm interested.
If you are referring to 'Equestrian' in the sense of the national origin, of belonging to Equestria, then you would need to have the E capitalized.
Once again, if you refer to languages and nationalities and other such names, they all have to be capitalized. Those are proper nouns. Also, a good stand-in for 'Spanish' that I personally use in my own world-building is Andalusian, which you might also find useful. Horse references are just as good as horse puns.
I really like this story. Your prose continues to not disappoint, and you have a real knack for pulling characters out of their canon roles and giving them a natural home in compelling fairy tale AUs. Plus, you continue to write like the Monochromatic of StarBurst, which is very high praise. The amount of well-researched fairy tale content you have and the inclusion of mythical creatures that differ from the rather sanitized depiction of mermaids that gets offered in most contemporary depictions. Hopefully, this will update soon!
Also, which particular work did you grab each quote from? Their sources intrigue me, especially because I didn't know Neruda wrote about mermaids and that bit doesn't have the feel of his poems.
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New year's resolution: revisit this story and finish it.
Fixed them! I remember being stump with the languages here, and lots of pony lingo I still wasn't familiar with (funny how much things change in a year) all I knew was that Ponish=English, Prench=French, but I wasn't sure about Spanish, I thought about using Caballo (literally horse in Spanish) but yours sounds better and way less goofy, might use this in the future
I've always loved mermaids, even as a little kid, and I quickly learned that mermaids are not what Disney or Hans Christian Anderson wanted me to believe. They're beautiful and romantic, and yet, tragic and dangerous, two opposites living in one creature
kind of like Starlightno wonder they still tug at my imagination, even to this day. And...wow...I honestly don't know what to say, Monochromatic is...well, Monochromatic and I'm just...me...but thank you, she really is the golden standard for fic writing, so hopefully, that means I'm on the right track.As for the quotes, I pulled them from various sites around the internet, from sea shanties, poems, nursery rhymes, and plays. For the Neruda poem, I think it reads strangely because it was translated by volunteers instead of a professional, it's called Fabula de la sirena y los borrachos short and tragic, but beautiful nonetheless
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POGGERS
If you're stumped on an idea for a horse pun/reference of some kind, I highly recommend looking up any of the following for starting points:
That's been me with a lot of different kinds of folklore, usually demons and ghosts and such. I love me some spooky.
Mono is indeed very epic, but just because your site numbers may be lower just means people haven't discovered how amazing your writing is. I remember back when she didn't have even 1,000 followers because I've been on this site solong. So, if you really want to aspire to that level of horse fame, it's not impossible to cultivate by writing what you love.
The translation having been done by amateurs makes sense as to why that excerpt didn't have the usual rhythm for Neruda in my mind. Though, having read the full version, I'm thinking that it might be due to not having the start and end that threw off my internal Poetry Judgy Fella.