New York, December 31st 20XX, 11:55 PM
The City is A buzz with activity. More so than usual as thousands, hundreds of thousands go out into the streets to drink, party and do other irresponsible things. Bars stuffed to capacity as the night slinks closer and closer to midnight. Hundreds of street vendors selling Food, toys, and especially cheap nick knack glasses with 20XX on them even though that trend should've died years ago. Sparklers shine in every street, Small batches of Legal and Illegal fireworks set off in the neighborhoods surrounding the dense urban center. Nearly the entire city celebrates the coming new year.
Verris is among those Millions in the city. Sitting at a bar with a half finished soda in one hand and his phone in the other. Only half paying attention to the television and whatever the news anchor is spewing to buy time till the ball drops. Taking another sip he puts his phone away and looks around at the party. Wishing he just stayed home instead. He Downs the rest of his soda before turning around in his bar stool, and was about to get up when a person sits next to him.
"Hey Verris, enjoying the party?"
"Yeah its great, how about you Tom?" Verris puts on a fake smile as tom puts his arm around him, smelling of alcohol.
"Ah its awesome! Glad you could come! Told you there would be lots of hot chicks here." Tom blurts each sentence as if its a rebuttal in an argument. "But dont lie to me i havent seen you move from this seat alllll night! So cmon you might even bring home a friend if you catch my drift~"
Verris Sighs, "Thanks Tom but I think ill be fine. I am actually about to leave." Verris gets up and takes a step before tom holds him back.
"Aww come on man you barely got here an hour ago. plus the ball is only minutes away from dropping you gotta stay till then!" Tom Gets up and points to the countdown clock mounted on one of the walls next to the largest of the tvs in the bar. With a few minutes counting down.
"I know but I got to get some sleep. I still got work tomorrow" Verris lies, knowing his job gave everybody the day off. "And parties are not my thing you know."
"Verris some day you'll look back on these days and wonder why you never had fun, Life isn't about those old books and Camping you know. You gotta get out there, and have fun!" Tom tries to hand Verris an opened bottle of beer, to which Verris grabs and puts down on the counter. Verris rolls his eyes and takes toms arm off him.
"You have your hobbies and i have mine tom. Thanks for inviting me to your bar party but Ill see you later." Verris Gives tom a pat on the shoulder before quickly walking through the crowd before tom could try to convince him to stay again. Exiting the packed bar onto he equally packed streets. Weaving through the hordes of people heading past him, ignoring the yells of drunk and or overexcited people screaming about how long till the ball drops, Verris heads into an alleyway partially to take a shortcut but mostly to avoid the crowds and drunks. He pulls out his phone and looks for some music to play when he hears someone walk up behind him. Turning around to see who's tailing him he sees a shady man glaring at him, wearing some hoodie and pulling out a handgun
"Whoa whoa! don't shoot!" Verris quickly turns to face him and puts his hands in the air. The man visibly on some drug, his gun shaking in his hand as his eyes look crazed and looking everywhere around him.
"Don't move!" He shouts out "I want you to tell your friends to stop following me!!" The man shouts louder, yelling as he cocks his pistol.
"I-I don't know what your talking about, your the one who was following me-"
"I KNOW YOU'VE BEEN FOLLOWING ME!" The man yells louder screaming some incoherent dribble, drowning out the sound of a countdown by the crowds in the street.
"Look how about you just put the gun down and-" Verris backs up
"7" Is shouted by the crowds in the street
"Don't give me that bullshit! I know you want the goods! They told me! They told me about you!" The man grabs his handgun in both hands stabilizing his shaky grip just a little.
"5"
"Calm down man ca-"
"4"
"I SAID SHUT UP" "3" YOU'LL NEVER FOLLOW ME AGAIN!" "2"
"WAI-"
"1"
*BANG BANG*
*Thump*
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Verris comes to slowly. Blinking his eyes, seeing the ungodly bright sun stinging his retinas and quickly rolling over. Trying to shade his eyes from the Bright light. Grumbling about forgetting to pull the curtains over the window, he goes still laying his head in his arms, nearly sinking back into sleep. Before the memories of the previous night ring through his head. New years, The party, The man, The gun, The gunshot.
Verris gasps and quickly sits up looking around frantically for danger. Rubbing his eyes as they adjust to the sudden light difference. Quickly noticing hes in the middle of a forest, in a small clearing between the trees. A pond directly in front of him as well. And what appears to be a dirt road Cutting through the trees and foliage.
"Where am I?" Verris says to himself as he raises his hand to rub his eyes. Only to freeze upon seeing his 'hand'. Which is now much like a birds talon. Clenching it and unclenching it to see if what he is seeing is his actual hand.
"W-whatthefuck!" He raises his other arm too to see it is also a talon. Looking up his shoulder, then staring at his body. His legs are White and striped, feline like. He rapidly pats his body down in disbelief, unsure if what he is seeing and feeling is real. He feels each hair of his new fur, The feathers around his neck and head. He focuses on his nose to reveal a golden beak. Quickly, he gets up Running over to the pond, staring into the reflection, eyes wide with panic, adrenaline pumping through him as his thoughts race a mile a minute. He looks down, Expecting to see the face hes seen a million times, instead an eagle like creature is looking back at him. A golden colored top half, with a yellowish beak and Bright blue eyes. With a Similarly golden furred, lion like lower half, Paws and tail included. With similarly gold colored feathers on his outstretched wings. His body nearly shining as the sun above reflects off his remarkably well groomed fur and feathers.
"T-this has to be a dream! I-I was shot! This.. This is all just my brain dying right?! That's a thing that happens right?!" Verris screams to nobody in his panic. Grabbing his cheeks and beak
"What the fuck... What.. Am.. Am I a gryphon?" Verris finally pieces together what he is. The beak, The bird upper body, The feline lower half. Hes a gryphon now! He remembers reading mythology books about these things. But that doesn't explain how he became one or even where he is. And how he got here
Taking a few deep breaths, Slowly calming his beating heart. "Ok ok.. Calm down. Think clearly.. Your a mythical creature in an unknown forest... Somewhere.. After you got shot in the head by a druggie..." He takes a few more deep breaths to slowly wait for the adrenaline pumping in his veins to wear off so he can think clearly.
"First things first... Where am i.." Verris takes a good look around him. Seeing the road, pond, a small dilapidated stone building off the trail at the end of the clearing and where he was laying before. Noticing a strange looking backpack laying where he woke up. Getting up, Verris starts walking over on all fours towards the bag, getting halfway back to his resting spot before realizing he is easily walking on all fours.
"Wait what.. How am i.." He stops before continuing to walk 'normally' as if he grew up walking on all fours in this body. Putting this new revelation in the back of his mind as he grabs the backpack and opens it up. Pulling each item out individually.
"Lets see here.. Dried fruits.. Rope.. A flint and steel? Some kind of jerky, a compass, a bag of.. Coins?" Verris opens the bag to see it is full of silver and gold coins. "Holy shit is that real gold?" He takes one coin out to inspect it. looking it over and doing the classic bite it. "No clue how to tell if its real.. Im just going to assume its real.. Feels real enough. But who left this here for me.." Verris questions as he counts the coins in his bag. 20 Gold coins and 30 silver, A hefty sum, even though he has no clue what the buying power of a gold or silver coin is anywhere.
Putting the items back into the backpack, he looks towards the stone structure. Looking it up and down, It looks like a mini temple or something of importance made of cobblestone. Hardly looks safe anymore and who knows how long it has been abandoned. Verris considers his options and thinks 'if it has lasted this long it surely will last a few more minutes for me to explore it'. Slinging the backpack onto his back and walking up to it, looking at his legs making sure hes not going to trip himself over on the way. As he walks up a small block of stairs and begins looking inside through the doorway. it seems quite barren inside. part of the roof collapsed in some time ago, with rubble strewn about the floor. Yet one thing is different. A stone box at the far wall along with a carving above it.
Verris analyzes the stone building and walks in careful to keep as much of himself under the open parts of the roof just in case the rest decide to fall on top of him. Standing in front of the box, A carefully carved picture on the wall that has long since degraded with time. A presumably beautiful carving now degraded to a few stylized gryphons and scattered letters. Looking down from the wall to the box, He notices it is not one single stone block, it has a lid. Carefully putting his claws on each corners, he slowly lifts, testing his strength by slowly increasing the force he exerts on the stone to find he can lift it quite easily. Sliding the stone off to the side, he looks in only to recoil back in shock and surprise.
"Fuck its a coffin.." Verris mutters as he sees the bones of what he thinks a gryphon skull might look like. Resting peacefully in a purposefully placed resting position. With what looks like a sword in a leather scabbard on his chest held by both hands. Verris takes a step closer inspecting the leather, Surely it should have rotted away along with the flesh of whoever this was. Yet it looks perfectly preserved, With some strange symbols on the side of the scabbard. Either way it was a sword, And he could use a weapon, after all if he is in a place where gryphons are real, who knows what is.
Verris carefully moves the bony hands off the sword Trying to be as respectful as possible to the dead body despite the fact hes looting the grave. He then picks up the sword by its sheathed blade. Surprising Verris with its light weight despite its nearly long sword length. At least to him. Verris realizes he has know clue how big he actually is compared to.. a human. He could be as big as a horse or a mouse for all he knows. Shaking his head, he looks back to the sword and slowly draws it from its sheath. Revealing an obsidian like blade, Dark purple that is see through in the thin edge of the blade. Though when he taps the flat end of the blade with his claw it feels like metal.
"What fucking loopy fantasy land am I in?" Verris retorts as he realizes the ridiculousness of his situation. "I just so happen to wake up with these.. supplies and a building with a black sword. This is like the start of an RPG." He grumbles out to nobody, he nevertheless straps the sword to his side. "Im still keeping this." Verris states as he looks in the coffin and finds nothing else. Carefully putting the stone top back onto the coffin, And walking out taking the same route as he entered. Upon leaving the building he looks to the sky. Seeing the sun high up in the sky signalling its mid day. Verris takes his compass out and finds the road going from north to south. "Well.. Hopefully ill find civilization.. And hopefully gryphons aren't slaves or food to whatever lives there.." Verris chooses to go north, Stepping onto the trail and slowly walking along it. Wishing he still had his phone to play music to pass the time.
=================================================================================
Verris Slowly walks up over a hill and is glad he strengthened his endurance from hiking and camping in his free time, otherwise he would've collapsed from exhaustion a few miles ago. Finally cresting the fifty third or so hill on the trail he spots a large village in the distance. Farmland surrounding it around making a very large clearing as the surrounding forest surrounds the village, A small river bordering the eastern edge of the buildings int he village, With few on the other side. The Village itself looks worse for wear. A few houses look as if they recently were on fire. one or two look like smoldering rubble and much of the farmland in the west of the village was trampled and dug up by somebody. Not a crop to be seen in the fields on that side.
"This town looks like it has seen better days.. But its the only civilization I've seen." Verris mumbles. The sun setting int he direction of whatever came to this town as Verris walks down the hill towards the village. Upon seeing a small group of gryphons tending to the farmland he sighs a bit of relief knowing hes not the only mythical creature here at least. As he gets closer to the town the gryphons tending to the field notice him and quickly rush to the village.
"That doesn't bode well for me.." Verris knows, no doubt the villagers are going to be wary of him if they run at the sight of him. Maybe they think hes dangerous. He has no answers but continues to walk normally as the shadows of the forest slowly creep up onto the town as the sun sets lower and lower.
When he is mere meters away from a the first building a small group of gryphons emerge from behind it, wielding pitch forks, spears and two even draw bows. Verris stops in his tracks. Looking at the group.
"Who are you!" One of the gryphons yells out to Verris. Pointing his spear at him. Though the way he holds it makes it clear to Verris he is injured in some way, But its too dark to tell.
"Uh I'm Verris.." Verris shouts back thinking of what to say next. "Do you all have a place i can rest at till tomorrow? oh and a map?"
The Group whisper to themselves before the first gryphon responds. "No go away!"
"I can pay!"
The group whisper to themselves once again, this time a bit more like an argument. "Fine, but if you harm anyone there Will be trouble."
Verris Nods and walks closer. The sun nearly under the horizon as he walks up. They eye his sword cautiously as one walks up to him. "If you want to say give three silver coins." The gryphon huffs, and Verris sees each one of them is at least a few.. Inches? Taller than him. He fishes out his bag from his backpack and pulls out a gold coin. and hands it to them
"Is a gold coin enough?"
The group look stunned and snatch the coin from his outstretched claw, Bringing up a lantern closer to inspect the coin.
"Is it real?" The gryphon snarls out, inspecting every inch along with two of the closest gryphons.
"As far as i can tell, Im no goldsmith though. If you want i can just pay in silver." Verris says thinking maybe paying in what they want will ease their fears of him scamming them with fools gold.
"No well take the gold. Follow us." The gryphons let Verris follow the 'leader'. Then follow behind him.
"So uh things look worse for wear here. Did I come at a bad time?"
"Hmf you could say so. Bandit Raid came by and we barely managed to hold them off. Still stole the west field of its crops." One of the gryphons behind Verris states.
"Yeah, I'm surprised you managed to get here alone without getting robbed of everything including your life. These roads aren't as safe as they used to be."
"Why is that?" Verris walks a bit faster to get next to the lead gryphon. While also admiring the buildings around. Despite being thatch roofs and wooden homes their remarkably well made. And even have doors and even have a surprising amount of balconies without guardrails. Probably landing spots to go home when your flying.
"What do you mean why? Everybody knows why. You been living in a cave?"
"I'm.. Not from here. From far away and I don't exactly know where I am. So could you enlighten me?" Verris continues looking around the Village, Could be about a two dozen maybe three dozen houses around. Much bigger than he would've thought for a 'village'. Though video games weren't exactly masters of scale.
"Tomorrow. I ain't looking to give a history lesson this late. Now here we are." The gryphon steps up to a two story home. Looking back the other gryphons dispersed as you were talking and presumably went home. The lead gryphon, Opening the front door as two small.. kids? Chicks? Run up to him.
"DADDY!" Both exclaim as they jump and hug him. The gryphons stoic and neutral look melts as he smiles and picks up the two.
"Hey kids. Did you do your chores?" He rubs both their heads before putting him down.
"Yes! Mommy even said we could get an extra cookie tonight!" The eldest of the two siblings, a girl from the sounds of it, says to the father.
"Oh Honey, Did you say that?" He yells out to the mother upstairs.
"I did not! You better not be telling your father lies!" The mother jokingly yells back as she walks up to the balcony with a lantern. A small candle in it. "Oh honey who's your guest?"
"Ah a traveler from the looks of it. Got lost and asked to stay for the night. Paid us a gold." The gryphon holds up the coin with a grin.
The Two children gawk at the gold coin as the wife walks down the stairs towards the front door. "A gold?! My my a rich fellow then? You sure hes not some nobleman?" The wife jokes as she takes a look at the coin.
"No I'm not from around this place." Verris says while walking in and closing the door.
"Speaking of which, Sword, now." The gryphon regains his stoic demeanor as he holds out his claw.
Verris looks surprised before realizing its reasonable to not want a stranger to have a weapon in his own home. Taking off the sword with the scabbard and handing it to the gryphon. "Here, Put it somewhere safe, wouldn't want your.. Children trying to play with it."
He softens a bit after getting a hold of the sword and putting it under his wing. "Don't worry, you'll get it back in the morning. Just a bit.. cautious."
"I understand, I would do the same. So do you have a spare bed?"
"Yes yes, this room over here." The gryphon leads Verris to an empty side room, With an old straw bed with a blanket haphazardly strewn on it. "Pardon the dust we haven't used this room in quite a while."
"Thank you. Oh and I never got your name."
"Grinbeak, And yours?"
"Verris Serall" Verris lays his backpack on the ground sliding it under the bed. lifting the blanket to shake off the dust.
"Well ill see you in the morning. Goodnight Verris." Grinbeak closes the door behind him as the room is completely dark now.
Verris sighs and only now realizes how tired his legs are from that massive hike. Taking a swig from his leather water jug and a few bites of the salted beef, he lays down in his bed. Sighing. "I just realized how much im going to miss modern beds.. And soda.. and air conditioning....." Verris exhales as he tries to get comfortable as he can before falling asleep.
👌👌
Oh! This picture is from Evomanaphy! She did it for a friend as a commission. And the character on this art is from his fanfction "13 Fates". A german fanfic.
Great start!
This shows potential, I will be watching this.
So many relatable stories lately. If only I could have the same opportunity...
You have my attention!
I started bannerlord as well, and it's pretty nice, beyond the bugs. Cant wait for some more chapters!
I'm a big fan of the Mount and Blade series and always wanted to see something like that in the Equestrian universe. Looking forward to how this is going to continue^^
Hi, as JP has already mentioned, the griffin in the cover picture already belongs to another fanfiction, namely mine. ^^
It's my character and I commissioned this picture at the time, so I ask you to look for something else for your cover.^^
graaaaah! You beat me to it XD I was plotting something inspired by bannerlord too!... though, maybe not quite so literally in my case. XD
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Oh sorry about that. I just googled it and thought it looked perfect. I’ll change it by the end of the day and the description of the main character.
it's almost harvesting season
*excited bat noises*
Alright, I'm hooked, can't deny it.
This seems familiar... like I’ve seen this concept before...
Oh that’s right. A wings of fire fanfic. From fanfiction. net
Woah, the thumbnail changed quickly. Both are excellent though.
10174108
Also Griffin the Griffin that i'm rereading right now.
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/12350/griffin-the-griffin
Apart from the random capitalization and spelling errors I'd say that the story has an alright introduction. Although the mount and blade series doesn't have much to go off when writing a fic inspired by it, I can definitely see some potential in what the story might bring if you decide to keep on going. Although I do have some advice on how not to handle proving your character is 'good' if you are trying to make them look that way.
Personally (some mostly random issues I've seen in other stories that have tried this before), just try not so hard to make your character be a 'good guy'; IE: Force a situation where he has to save children to show how good of a gryph he truly is/I won't be a noble because wanting it would make me look greedy! It rarely works, because when you force a moment where the only option is 'be good' there isn't any interesting decisions to show how good of a gryph he truly is rather than just a normal, if a little brash, person. If the character does eventually reject a leadership role, try to explain why they would not be leaping for the opportunity to possibly be good in that situation if they have been dead set on being a leader for good. It's almost silly to see some stories try their hardest to get someone into power by swearing a bunch of oaths to do good as it makes the story read like author thinks the readers are idiots and if the audience doesn't see that the main character is definitely only in it for good; it almost is a red flag that most likely the character failed to show that they've been making actual good actions that a good person makes rather than randomly good actions that a chaotic stupid good character makes.
Anyways I hope you have fun writing the story, honestly you don't have to worry about my advice too much if you just want to get a story that you like.
This story has a promising start, but you need a copy editor. There are lots of words that should be capitalized which aren't, and even some words that are capitalized when they shouldn't be. Additionally, I don't think you used any apostrophes anywhere. And your verb tenses are inconsistent. You should go through the whole chapter again and make corrections before you post a new chapter.
That said, after you make those corrections for things like capitalization, punctuation, and verb tense, then I think you have a good story here.
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Original ones owner contacted me so I changed it
10174307
Yeah I have that problem when typing. I’ll be sure to clean it up a bit.
10174268
Thanks for the advice I’ll be sure to take it into account. Not looking to make Verris into a saint. Mistakes, bad decisions, and personal interests will get in his way. Or at least I’ll try to write it that way.
10174427
Hopefully you can get those corrections made before the new chapter. If I catch any later, I'll let you know. I only get aggressive with correcting typos when the story behind them is engaging. Speaking of which, did he reincarnate as the dead griffon whose grave he looted? Will it eventually be explained where his food, money, and supplies came from? Or by what method his death led to ending up in Equestria? (Possibly Discord, as is often the case with human-to-Equestria stories?)
GASP! a story with the main character as a griffon....so rare... i look forward to more.
It's finally harvesting season! Let us drink from their skulls!
Yo, if you need an editor, just ask.
I have high hope for this please don't drop it if you get stuck at parts of the story pm readers for help . even me!!
good world building and start for now will be intresting how dis progress with truble and allies he will collekt to become a leader
im half expecting him to wake up tired up and be sold into slavery, never give your sword to strangers
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:D
I'll be honest the main reason why I looked at this story was the cover art. That is an amazing image and I hope this story captures the same amount of detail.
Congratz, ya got featured. 4/10/2020
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the power of a goood cover image
Well, I'm happy that you are still creating stuff, but somewhat upset that it's not that "Rise of the Roman Empire" story. Oh well, this will do.
But really, just keep doing you man/whatever.
I knew this would come eventually. Long have I waited, and now Bannerlord shall take over everything! Anyway.
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Yep empire ftw btw
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Definitely, which Empire? Southern Empire! Wooh! I have wiped out dozens of clans, to serve my Empire, to bring it success! Also this inspired me to write a Bannerlord fic ( which i was planning to, but... well rewriting takes a lot of motivation. )
Ah, a Mount and Blade inspired story....yesh
10174427
I doubt that someone who wants to be like these three: Alejandro, César, Gengis, can be an angel (sorry for my english)
I think a rhapsody of fire song would be perfect for something like this.
aaaaaaaand the master Sir Christopher Lee as the narrator
Shit you have Bannerlord? I swore that I would not buy the game until I conquered all of Calradia in Warband. But I chose the Nords, nobody wants to fight, BUT I'm already far enough that my investments and businesses pay for my holds and 100+ army, so I REALLY don't want to restart.
10176303
the road to hell is paved with good intentions
I am very much so looking forward to this continuing. Hope you have great luck in your writing and all other endeavors.
I can’t wait for more. Gryphon squad!
"in the" tbh very little in the ways of mistakes, but at times it gets confusing but thats just me being tired i think.
question about this, is his new body based off the fitness of his old body? or does he get an average gryphon body?
It's harvesting season!
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Old Body
Should have stayed in the bar
Okay. I'm hooked.
tom should be Tom and the "i" should be capitalized