The Syllabus
Anon hated knocking. This much was known. Every time a pony or a dragon would knock at his door, it was always at an inopportune time. Either he was in his thoughts, sleeping, eating, shitting or “pushing rope”. In any case, it was never a good time to knock.
Still, walking into your living room to find a white horse sitting on your couch wasn’t the best alternative.
“Um, P-Princess?” Anon asked sleepily, rubbing his eyes. “Ain’t it a bit early in the day to be breaking into people’s houses?” Celestia was sitting regally, upright and proper. She wore her regalia and a patient smile, radiating with warmth and love. It was pleasant. Too pleasant. Anon shifted on his heels, that creeping fear of authority returning to him.
“It’s 3 in the afternoon, Anonymous.” She points a hoof at the clock on the wall. Sure enough, the clock had its hands on 3 sharp. Anon felt his skin burn with embarrassment. Celestia saw Anon and softly giggled. “It’s a pleasure to see you again. Please, come sit with me.” She used her wing to tap the spot next to her. Anon hesitated, before slowly approaching and taking a seat on the very far side of the couch. This caused Celestia to giggle again. For a princess of 1000+ years, she was as giddy as a schoolgirl.
“What’s so funny?” Anon crossed his arms. Celestia attempted to regain her regal composure.
“I won’t bite you, Anonymous.” She joked, using her wing to emphasize the distance Anon had put between them. “You can afford to relax around me. I’m not as stern and uptight as you might think I am.”
“Regardless, I’m staying over here.” Anon tucked his legs under himself in defiance. Celestia rolled her eyes, but still kept smiling. Anon was getting annoyed with this cheery horse. He was about to give her a piece of his mind, before she spoke up.
“Why do you hide yourself, Anonymous?” Celestia asked simply. Anon’s words were caught in his throat.
“Uh…” He managed to eek out in response.
“You have been our guest for quite some time now.” She continued. “After meeting with you, I can see that you are a...conflicted individual. As such, I did not want to rush you into doing anything you would feel uncomfortable with.” Anon shifted in his seat. He felt like something unpleasant was coming. “However, I think now that you have not only had time to adjust to your situation and showed your heroism-”
“Pfft, heroism.” Anon interrupted, blowing a raspberry. Celestia frowned, not at the outburst itself, but it’s self-depreciative tone.
“Yes, Anonymous. Heroism. You stood up to protect a town of which you were not a part of.” Celestia argued. “Despite your differences, cultural and physical,
you cared enough to defend my little ponies.”
“Care is a pretty strong word.” Anon shot back. “It was more of a calculated effort to ensure my survival. If they were safe, I continued to live in peace. If they weren’t, I’d have to relocate.” Anon looked away from Celestia, but he could feel her eyes against his skin. Finally, she sighed, shaking her head.
“This is what I meant by conflicted.” She said. Anon began to feel like he was in a therapy session. “You push others away and are extraordinarily abrasive. I was beginning to think that maybe you truly wanted to be alone. But, I don’t think you really want to be. You just need a little push.” Celestia levitated a checklist towards Anon. Anon took it and looked it over with scrutinizing eyes.
“Conduct an interview with Twilight Sparkle...visit the spa with Rarity...?” He moved down the list and saw more and more tasks, all of which asking Anon to do mundane activities with various names, some of which he didn’t recognize. “I’m sorry, uh, the fuck is this?”
“I remember you mentioning being a student during our first meeting.” Celestia explained. “Consider this a continuation of your studies.” Anon glared.
“I don’t know what the hell your education system is here, but I can assure you my world doesn’t have this for a curriculum.” Despite Anon’s raises of voice, Celestia remained unfazed. “Why are you dropping this on me now?”
“I simply thought you could do with some activities that could bring you out of your shell.” Anon stood, tossing the list back at Celestia. She caught it within a levitation field.
“You know, not to shit in your cake, but I don’t feel so compelled to complete your little list.” Anon put his hands in his pockets and leaned on the wall in front of the princess. “I don’t care for your horse subjects and, frankly, they don’t care for me. If they did, how come they didn’t become friends with me of their own accord? Checkmate.” Anon smirked, tilting his head in anticipation of an explanation.
“That is true.” Celestia acknowledged. “Hence, I believe this will only serve to bring you closer with the community and the community to you.” Anon groaned, heading into the kitchen.
“I need a drink.” He grumbled. As he poured himself a cup of water, he silently fumed. Why did he have to be the one to go and make friends? Who does this Princess think she is, breaking into his house?
“Anonymous, I fail to see why you object to the possibility of making friends.” Celestia had gotten back up, following behind Anon list floating beside her.
“I’ve made friends.” Anon said defensively. “There’s Spike.”
“And?” Celestia tilted her head, waiting for a response. Anon merely glared at her in silence, before drinking his cup of water. He slammed the cup with a thud.
“That’s proof enough that I am capable of social interaction enough. However, I see no benefit in making any further friends. And I certainly don’t need some sun goddess to supervise my relationships.”
“Have you talked with Spike since you’ve arrived in Equestria?” Celestia asked, attempting to keep a professional attitude. Still, a hint of sass could be heard in her voice if one listened closely.
“Like, a couple times. Probably.” Anon walked by Celestia, accidentally walking into the checklist dangled in front of him. He swatted it away like a fly before sitting back on his couch. “It doesn’t matter. Shit, the ways you ponies act, it’s almost like being introverted is a crime.”
“An introvert is a shy, reticent individual.” Celestia walks until she is in front of Anon and sits before him. “If you were only introverted, I would still suggest you take part in the listed activities. However, I think there’s something you’re not telling me.”
“How would you know!?” Anon snapped back. This made Celestia flinch, causing Anon to immediately regret it. Celestia seemed to slump into herself, her radiance slowly fading.
“Anonymous, May I talk to you as a pony, and not a princess?” She asked. Anon hesitated before leaning back and hearing her out. She looked down, rubbing a hoof on her foreleg. “These last few years, I’ve been feeling conflicted myself. Equestria, my kingdom, the land that I love so dearly, reveres me.”
“Jeez, what a burden.” Anon muttered. Celestia gave a halfhearted chuckle before continuing.
“I know, I know. It sounds ridiculous. Lately, however, I’ve been wondering why. My former student, Twilight, has grown to be such an admirable and wonderful soul. Time and time again, she has saved my country when I couldn’t. The Storm King was no exception. It made me wonder why my subjects still care about me.”
Anon noticed that the room was not as lit as it was before. It was actually fairly dark, with the curtains drawn, hiding the sun. Anon never pulled them back, so it truly was Celestia herself lighting the room. Now, everything was dim, just as he had left it. Anon leaned forward, dropping his attitude to listen to the Princess.
“When Discord, a being of pure chaos, broke free, I let Twilight and her friends handle the threat. I believed I was teaching her a lesson, as though if things went truly wrong, I could always step in. Then, the first Changeling invasion happened and I attempted to defend my subjects, only to fail. When Sombra returned, I was afraid to fail again. Later, I was kidnapped by the Everfree-“
“Y’all should really just cut down that forest.” Anonymous remarked. This got a hardy laugh out of the Princess, making Anon warm inside. Celestia settled and continued. “More and more, I’ve noticed my growing passivity and self-doubt. I don’t think I’m the spry, adventurous ruler I was back then. I feel as though, as time passes, maybe there’s nothing for my subjects to admire about me anymore.”
“Well,” Anon looked for the right words to say to the dejected princess. “I mean, you raise the sun. You run a government and one that, by all accounts, isn’t trying to oppress anyone. You taught the pony that’s saved your ass a bunch of times. There are things to admire.” The words, as sweet as they were, felt uncomfortable to Anon. He couldn’t explain why. It’s not like he didn’t want to be nice, but the act itself made him feel unqualified to say such things. Nevertheless, Celestia looked up at Anon with a sad smile.
“I’m sure you know well that even when everyone and everything tells you there is nothing to worry about, that doesn’t stop you from worrying.” Anon’s face fell, as did his body after hearing that. He did in fact know that feeling. Hearing a pony relate to such a real struggle reminded him of his interactions with Spike. A little dragon feeling like an outsider, a yeti soldier losing their leader and their purpose, and now a horsey princess dealing with imposter syndrome. This world was starting to feel a little less fantastical the longer he stayed.
“I’m sorry.” Celestia’s sudden apology brought Anon back from his thoughts. “I really shouldn’t have invaded your privacy just to talk to you about what bothers me. I just wanted...I thought that maybe I…” The more she talked, the more she was unsure of what she came here for.
“Let me take a crack at it.” Anon offered. “You saw that I was a bit of a bastard and thought you could help me. If you helped me, it’d make you feel like you were the princess Equestria thinks you are.” Celestia blew air out her noses, suppressing a chuckle.
“Yes, I suppose you figured out my plan.” Celestia admitted. Anon smiled.
“Well, shit albino. That’s all you had to say.” Anon jokes, picking up the checklist again. He grimaced again seeing all the things she wanted him to do. “I’m still unsure about all this though. I’ve never been one to actively go and make friends.”
“I understand.” Celestia says, standing on her hooves once more. “And if it means anything, I’m sorry if we haven’t done our best to accommodate you.” Anon waved away the apology.
“It’s whatever, Princess.” Anon rolled up the checklist. “You ponies have a real hard-on for friendship, don’t you?” Celestia tilted her head slightly, unaware of the expression.
“Friendship is very valuable to us, yes.” She answered, hoping it was the answer to his question. Anon nodded. “You could say it’s foundational to us. We only wish to share it with everycreature.”
“There’s worse ideologies to subject people. Believe me, Celly.” Celestia raised an eyebrow, a smile slowly spreading on her face.
“Celly?” She asked curiously.
“Prin-cess Ce-lest-i-a is 6 syllables, Cel-ly is 2. So, it’s an efficient nickname.” Celestia giggled.
“On a nickname basis, are we?” She teased. “I am still the Princess of Equestria.”
“And I am a human ambassador and guest in your land.” Anon shot back. The two shared a laugh, before a loud stomach rumbling interrupted the two.
“Shit.” Anon held his stomach,with a sheepish grin. “Guess it’s time for lunch.”
“You mean, dinner?” Celestia corrects, receiving a glare from Anon. She giggled again as she trotted towards the door.
“I must say, Anonymous. You have a unique sense of humor about you. I think you’ll find yourself more successful in your studies than you think.” She opened the door with her horn, but before stepping out, she turned back to Anon one last time. “And, thank you, Anonymous. Thank you for lending an ear to an old mare and her problems.” Anon again waved her condolences away.
“I figure you ponies would do the same. When in Rome and all that.” With a puzzling look and a soft smile, Celestia walks out of the house, closing the door behind her. Anon pulled the checklist back out, looking over the various activities suggested to him. By all accounts, he could just ignore it and keep keeping to himself. What’s the worst that Celestia could do? That being said, he left that conversation with a lot more understanding of the Princess and the world. As much as he hated to admit it, he probably should do what the Princess advised. Besides, it’d make her feel good and Anon not feel guilty. It’s a win-win.
“Damn.” Anon grabbed the checklist and rolled it up. “Well, you know what they say: put off for tomorrow what you were gonna do today!” Anon walked back to the bedroom to sleep the rest of the afternoon away.
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Yes, this is the kind of connection they needed to make. Count that as 2 friends now.
In hindsight why they failed to make friends with him before (and why he had good reason to not view them as such), was because they were trying to forcefully socialize him and push him into what they wanted as if that would fix him, rather than trying to find common ground.
Also there should be more of Anon and Spike hanging out.
Huh, so even magical horse gods suffer from imposter syndrome. I guess it's just a sapient thing, huh?
Sorry, but that's extremely insulting and pushes all the wrong buttons. Introversion is not some sort of mental hang-up or fear of social interaction; it's a personality trait-- a preference towards introspection, small groups of people and in some cases isolation, and should not under any circumstances be considered shyness or a problem that must be solved by some kind-hearted extrovert .
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/introversion
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/introversion
https://introvertspring.com/what-is-an-introvert/
Sorry for the wall of text and I understand that introversion was not Anon's "problem", but you again happened to push a button, perhaps completely by accident. Please, please take the above into mind as you continue writing your story.
Interesting start so far. Keep it up.
“An introvert is a shy, reticent individual.”
I'm sorry, but that is indeed accurate.
I AM an introvert, and I approve this message.
I should also add this view is from the perspective of an Equestrian, with their own set of values. Now if Anon were to express his feelings on the matter from a position of expertise, that is a story that can be written by someone else.
10171647
Dude relax, you are getting triggered/round up by a fictional story ABOUT a fictional horse that is like 1000 years old and barely does shit in the show.
Chill
This looks interesting, but PLEASE pick a tense and stick with it. It's mostly past tense, which is fine and expected, but slips into present tense multiple times which is very jarring.
Missed opportunity to have sun horse stay for dinner
10172702
I'M an introvert and I say that's not even close to accurate. there a difference between being shy and being an introvert. shy people would want to make friends but couldn't because they don't have the courage to do so. Introverts are usually not sociable and don't like to be around people.
10243769
I'm introverted and I second this. Outside of close family, and the occasional talkative store/restaurant employee, I don't have any sort of social interaction, and I'm perfectly fine to keep it this way.
10175150 Exactly. We're not trying to trivialize your feelings, friend. We really aren't. Or, at least, I'm not. But getting offended over something like this is just sad. I hate to be that blunt, believe me, I'll beat myself up with a mental cat-of-nine-tails for it forever, but really, just think more before you impulsively say 'this offends me, change it'. Getting offended by something and immediately asking for change is just not a good way to go. Getting offended, then abused and OBVIOUSLY insulted? That's another matter. THEN, you can, and should, ask for change. This time, though? You weren't targeted. So calm down. ALL of you.
These horse skanks are not gods!
He's a snowflake.
After reading all the comments disagreeing with Celestia's definition of introverts in this chapter there's only one phrase that came to my mind about the commenters flipping their shit and that is "The lady doth protest too much, methinks.".
I don’t know what pushing ropes is.
10331341
Crude idiom for masturbation
"Pushing Rope" also means a pointless activity, or waste of time.
10331716
10331341
Interesting start, I think I'll keep reading.