Spoiled Fruit

by RazgrizS57

The Pet, Chapter 1

Author's Note:

The idea behind this one was quite simple: there's a [insert stereotype here] human in Ponyville, and not everybody likes it. He gushes over cute things and has the notion that he can just waltz up to any pony and scratch them behind the ears without consent. Twilight Sparkle gets her friends together to try and come up with a way to let him know this is not okay.

I also just love dialogue. I wanted to recapture the kind of banter the Mane Six had that they kind of lost after S3 with Twilight's ascension. The story structure would have given each girl their own dedicated chapter, following their perspective of their most memorable moments with our handsy human, broken by brief philosophical discussions over the ethics of cuteness. I only got as far as the introduction.

I think part of what killed my interest in developing this further is the understanding that this story needed those character perspectives as context for the group discussion the girls were having, and I just didn't want to write those. I just wanted to write the girls and their banter, which would not be able to stand on its own. So this story never went anywhere.

There’s a human in Ponyville, and for some reason it likes to grab anypony and everypony it gets close enough to touch. Confounded, annoyed, and even a little disturbed, no one is quite sure how to handle the situation. Twilight Sparkle gets her friends together in attempt to find a solution to their problem and, furthermore, contemplate the ethical dilemma at hand.

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Twilight Sparkle stuck her head out the front door of the library, scanning the nearby streets for anything out of the ordinary. Granted, what she learned to be ordinary around here wouldn’t fit anyone’s definition of the word, but even Ponyville was pleasantly calm at times. Such as today, for example, but given the nature of the town’s most recent member, such serenity worried her.

She quietly drew her head in and shut the front door, making doubly sure it was properly locked. A small sigh escaped her as she returned to a round table set up in the middle of the library’s main room, with a number of plush cushions surrounding it and some water glasses on top. Only one seat was available to her and she quickly took it, joining the conversation of her friends.

“I don’t get what that has to do with anything,” Rarity said, frowning.

Pinkie Pie slammed her hooves on the table from across. “It has everything to do with anything!” she cried. “Sandwiches need to be cut into triangles, not squares! This is the fundamental principle that all sliced bread-based foods are founded upon!”

Spike inched away from her however slightly. “Sorry, Pinkie Pie,” he said, unsure of whether or not he should remove the plate from the table. “I just thought everypony would want some snacks. I wasn’t really thinking about how I should cut them.”

She leaned into him and furrowed her brow. “See to it that this never happens again,” she hissed, then swiped one of the sandwiches off the plate. She slowly returned to herself, frowning the whole while she ate.

Twilight found herself sitting right beside Spike and gave him a kind pat on the back. “I’m sure we can discuss the ethics of geometry later if we really want to,” she said, “but that’s not why I asked you all to come meet me today.”

“I figured,” Applejack said.

Rarity gave a small nod and took a sip from her glass. She motioned with her hoof next to Applejack and said, “It’s about that human, isn’t it?”

Twilight nodded back. “He’s... turning out to be quite a problem, as I’m sure you’re all aware.”

Fluttershy looked at her. “You want to get rid of him?”

“No,” Twilight was quick to say, turning to her side. “No. At least... no. But a lot of ponies think he’s a nuisance, and one way or another, I want to figure out a way to get him to stop being one.”

“Why?” Rainbow Dash piped up, seated between Applejack and Pinkie Pie. The former gave her a sidelong glance and the latter was too focused angrily eating her sandwich. She added, “I mean, what’s the problem?”

“You don’t think there’s a problem?” Applejack asked her. “What with his tendency to just walk up and start touching ponies out of the blue? Like we’re all just cats and dogs okay with being scratched?”

Rainbow Dash just shrugged, and she received an even more questioning look.

Rarity tossed her mane back. “I think it’s endearing, actually,” she said. “It can definitely be a bit much, I’ll give you that. But after a lady spends so much time making herself presentable and look her best every morning, it certainly feels great to be noticed for all that hard work.”

Spike made a sound that was stuck between a whimper and an aggravated sigh.

“Okay, so it looks like there’s some conflicting opinions,” Twilight mused. She produced a notepad and a pencil, and looked over towards Rarity.

“I’m not saying there isn’t a problem,” Rarity reiterated, “just that I occasionally appreciate the attention, is all. He does have the most uncanny ability to appear at the most inconvenient times, and I suppose he can be a bit clingy. I mean, take the other day, for instance!”