Guise...looks like I had no choice but to put this story on a mature tag. Oh well. Hope you like the story as big as how much fun it was to write it! ... No, wait, god, that's so wrong...thank you, mild cloppery.
Found a typo: "Not that private, of course, with with some"
Also, one thing you should fix throughout the tale is the use of period followed by a quotation mark and then something like said, thought, and such. In those situations, exclamation and question marks stay, but periods get replaced with commas. An example: "Ugh, she couldn't even close the door." thought the midnight blue alicorn. should be: "Ugh, she couldn't even close the door," thought the midnight blue alicorn.
Oh lordy, I just made a grammer mistake? ... How am I, being a complete grammer nazi, do such a thing? Thanks a whole lot for that. I mean it. No sarcasm.
Guise...looks like I had no choice but to put this story on a mature tag. Oh well. Hope you like the story as big as how much fun it was to write it!
...
No, wait, god, that's so wrong...thank you, mild cloppery.
"Mild Cloppery" makes me laugh. I have to read this simply because of the mild cloppery.
Will read later, but by the way you typoed in the description.
her sister was not cured of er unhealthy habit
Lol, that is all.
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Luna_lolface.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/lolface_Celestia.png
Found a typo: "Not that private, of course, with with some"
Also, one thing you should fix throughout the tale is the use of period followed by a quotation mark and then something like said, thought, and such. In those situations, exclamation and question marks stay, but periods get replaced with commas. An example:
"Ugh, she couldn't even close the door." thought the midnight blue alicorn.
should be:
"Ugh, she couldn't even close the door," thought the midnight blue alicorn.
1262901
Oh lordy, I just made a grammer mistake?
...
How am I, being a complete grammer nazi, do such a thing?
Thanks a whole lot for that. I mean it. No sarcasm.
1266300
I always had a problem with punctuation. Thanks for the advice!
1266315 All good, looking forward to reading this in my spare time, I love a good comedy.
1267755
Okie Dokie Loki! But of course, comedy kinda comes a little later, but you'll just have to wait!
1267763 Ah i see, then wait I shall. go forth and create art good sir.
1269076
Well, well, I will be delighted to do as such. But I have to tell you though, I won't need to do the write-up. Your'e reading it.