Chapter 6: The Diamond Ringer
Chapter 6
The winds were changing. Storm clouds that had been headed out to the coast crept back in over the valley now, slowly blotting out the moon and stars. Rarity felt the rumble of far-away thunder growing ever closer, vibrating up through the wooden floor of the paddy-wagon as they creaked along. The Royal Guard procession was a column of torches bobbing in the night.
Pinkie Pie was still coming out of the hex that Shield Banner had used on her. She was was sullen and uncooperative, practically catatonic, lying on the floor of the cage with her back to them. Rainbow Dash was sporting a split lip and a serious shiner, but the worst wound was to her pride.
"I still can't believe he left us," said the pegasus, pounding one cyan hoof into the other.
"I already told you," Rarity said, "I was the one who decided Luna's horn was the highest priority. You can't blame Spike, I asked him to leave us behind."
"If he had just helped me," said Dash, "instead of running away like a little filly, we could have gotten that horn and all escaped!"
"Rainbow, you know that's not true," said the white unicorn. "The fight was over, and we had lost. We would have been captured either way."
"Well, I guess we'll never find out now, will we?" said Rainbow Dash. "Since you made that decision for all of us. You want to be the leader, Miss Bossy? Then fine: I blame you, Rarity. Thank you so much for landing us in this cage, on the way to our executions. Hey, at least we'll have the honor of being the first ponies put to death in a millennium. That's something, right?"
Rarity gave Dash an icy look, and she held it for a long time. Finally, she said: "I am sorry you feel that way, Rainbow. I really am." She lifted herself onto her hooves and made her way to the front of the cage. "Yoo-hoooo? Pardon me?" she called out to the closest guard.
He ignored her, glancing at the sky. A light rain had begun to fall and soon the road would be a river of mud.
"Yoo-hoo," said Rarity again. "I need to talk to somepony, please. It's about the Princess."
The guard met her eye, then huffed and approached. "What is it?"
She leaned close. "Princess Luna is still alive."
"Rarity!" shouted Rainbow Dash from the rear of the cage.
Rarity glanced over her shoulder as Dash leaped to her hooves. "Let me out please, I can tell you where to find her, where to find all of them. Twilight, Spike, and the other two, Fluttershy and Applejack. That's their names. I can tell you everything you need to know. We were all going to meet up at the--"
"No!" Rainbow Dash cried and charged across the short space to slam into her. Both ponies hit the floor, Rarity's chin bouncing against the wooden planks so hard she was lucky not to bite off her tongue. Her ears were ringing and she felt Dash's weight pressing down on her. The guard raced to get the cage unlocked.
"What are you doing?!" Dash screamed at her.
"What I should have done to begin with!" Rarity screamed back. "I don't want to be a traitor to the Princess anymore! All these things that Twilight and Spike told us were lies! You're a fool to believe them, Rainbow Dash! They did that to the Princess! They tricked us and made us follow their story. The Nightmare is dead, don't you see?"
"Horseradish!!" Dash yelled. "That's horseradish!! Twilight and Spike are our best frien--wuhhhh..." Her sentence cut off abruptly as a brilliant bolt of orange unicorn magic sliced between the cage bars and clubbed her in the stomach. Dash keeled over and gasped for air, rolling in agony.
"There will be no fighting in my prisoner transport, thank you very much," said Shield Banner, walking up. "Now what is going on here?"
"This unicorn says she wants to turn state's evidence," said the guard.
Shield Banner snorted. "Is that so?" He turned to Rarity. "You? You want to help us catch your friends?"
"Yes, sir, but they're not my friends."
"I don't believe you."
"Please, sir," said Rarity. "You saw what just happened. You saw what my so-called accomplices think of me. It's the truth, I can tell you everything."
"So? Tell me."
"Luna is alive. They're transporting her body in an apple wagon to a secret location. Twilight and Spike lied to me and forced me to do what they wanted. They sent us into the swamp to look for Luna's broken horn, so that they could steal its magic and use it against Celestia."
Shield Banner arched an eyebrow. "Go on."
"I know where they will be, I know everything they said and did tonight. I'll sign anything you want, testify to anything. Just, let me out of this cage, please. I'm afraid of what she'll do when she wakes up. And if I was a bit more comfortable, I'm sure I could remember more details." Her eyes wavered with tears as she gave Shield Banner her most trustworthy, most beleaguered, most vulnerable expression. She stopped short of the pouty lips, though. Pouty lips would have been too much, she thought to herself. Good choice, Rarity.
Shield Banner considered her as he marched along behind the wagon. Thunder rolled in the not-so-distant sky.
At last, the Guard Captain turned to his clerk. "We're coming up on Acorn Outpost, why don't you tell the stallions to graze and we'll take a ten minute break. Let this unicorn out of the cage immediately."
"Thank you!" said Rarity, "oh, thank you, thank you for believing me."
"Don't get ahead of yourself," said Shield Banner. "If I find out you're lying, I can promise you only the worst possible outcome."
"That sounds more than fair," said Rarity with relief. Dash stared up at her accusingly from the ground, her eyes teary from pain. Rarity looked away.
The guard opened the cage and escorted the beautiful unicorn to the ground. Her shackles stayed on.
* * *
"Y'all don't understand, we're trying to save her life!" said Applejack.
"It seems you could be doing a better job of it," said the Night Guard leader in low tones, his gold eyes staring from the darkness.
Applejack snorted. "Maybe we could help her if y'all would just get out of our way and stop actin' like a bunch a' bone-headed Nightmare Night rejects!"
White fangs flashed in the darkness, and one of the pegasi emitted a low growl.
"Excuse me," said Fluttershy suddenly. "Hello?" Everypony turned to look at her, and she cowered a little. "Hi, um, I'm Fluttershy, and I'm the physician assistant who's been in charge of Princess Luna's care tonight. I've done everything I can to stabilize her, but she is very gravely injured. If we don't get her into the medical wing right now, she will die. Arrest us afterward if you must, but please, we need your help."
The dark pegasi regarded her with their strange eyes.
"Well?" said Applejack in frustration. "Do y'all want to be responsible for her death or what?"
"Applejack!" admonished Fluttershy softly. She faced the looming shadows. "Please, we all want the same thing here. Luna is running out of time."
The Night Guard leader looked back over his shoulder. "Purple Heart, take a look for yourself."
"Yeah, no problem," said one of the soldiers with a no-nonsense Manehattanite accent. He gave a mighty flap of his membranous wings, gliding out of the darkness and over Fluttershy's head, landing on the apple-cart without making a sound.
"Please, be very careful with her," said Fluttershy.
"It's okay," said the dark pegasus, giving her the hint of a reassuring smile. "I've been a medic for a long, long time." He gently inspected the princess's various wounds, then placed his ear against Luna's torso.
He doesn't even need a stethoscope, thought Fluttershy.
After another tense minute, Purple Heart looked up. "Honestly," he said, "I'm amazed she's survived this long. Without her horn, she's as mortal as these two." He wagged his chin at Applejack and Fluttershy.
"Alright," said the Night Guard leader. "Show us the way, then. And you, cowpony. Mind your manners."
Applejack glowered back at him, but that was all.
They'd barely taken ten steps, however, when there was a brilliant burst of purple magic in the entrance hall. A powerful shock-wave smashed into them, picking the ponies up and scattering them like leaves on the wind. Fluttershy collided with the side of the apple-cart, squashing a wing painfully and cutting her cheek open. Applejack tumbled off into the darkness as her lantern bounced along the ground and went out.
Fluttershy struggled to get her bearings as the dust settled. It was pitch-black and the pounding of her own heart was deafening. Magical light sputtered near the middle of the entrance hall, cutting through the dark with its strobing, purple glow. Fluttershy could make out the silhouette of a familiar unicorn, struggling to get up. Twilight! You made it! You're alive!
But something was wrong. The unicorn was moving strangely, like her rear legs weren't working. She dragged herself frantically along the floor. She's trying to get away from something, Fluttershy realized. The pegasus moved her gaze thirty paces behind Twilight and her blood ran cold.
Nightmare Sun clambered to her hooves. She threw out her enormous white wings in fury. "Twilight Sparkle!" she roared. The sunlight poured from the mighty alicorn in torrents. Her horn was a brilliant, glowing lance. With a single leap, Nightmare Sun cleared the hundred paces from her to Twilight and slammed down right in the purple unicorn's path, shattering the tiles.
"You're quite the pony," said Nightmare Sun. "It's clear that I keep underestimating you. Let's put an end to that vicious cycle right now." She condescendingly knocked Twilight's Element of Magic crown off with her hoof, sending the golden artifact clattering and skidding across the tiles. Invisible chains yanked Twilight into the air, and a ray of sunlight focused into a cutting beam that carved along Twilight's shoulder. The unicorn let out a scream. Fluttershy caught a whiff of burning flesh. "Now, tell me where Spike is," commanded the Nightmare. "Or you are in for a very great deal of suffering before I kill... you...?" She trailed off as she became aware of a galloping sound growing louder and louder.
Applejack leaped out of the darkness and smashed her full, muscled weight into the alicorn with a bone-crunching tackle. All three ponies went tumbling out across the tile floor, legs every which way, spinning and sliding. The cowpony recovered from the impact first, scrambling to her hooves and throwing herself onto the rising alicorn, bashing the Nightmare's head against the floor. The two grappled desperately, almost crushing Twilight in the process.
Without even realizing what she was doing, Fluttershy leaped into the air and flew at maximum speed towards the injured unicorn. Her rational mind might have protested this plan, but it wasn't making the decisions now. Maternal instinct was.
Fluttershy watched Applejack sink her teeth into the Nightmare's cheek, rending the flesh with a savage scream. The Nightmare roared in pain and bashed a hoof into the bandages on Applejack's neck, causing the cowpony to let go with a shout as dark red soaked through the gauze. The two combatants tore into each other, snarling and biting and striking with abandon, fur and blood flying in all directions. Somehow Applejack managed to keep her hat on through all of this.
Fluttershy landed right behind Twilight, threw her forelegs around the purple unicorn's chest, and pulled backwards with the strength of abject terror. Flapping her wings madly, she made slow progress. Twilight was small for a mare, but her rear end was dead weight. It took more than twenty heart-pounding seconds for Fluttershy to drag the wounded unicorn under the stairs.
Luna!! she suddenly remembered, and turned toward the cart, but it was empty. Luna was gone. The Night Guard took her... and left?? Right when they were needed most??
"Only a stupid earth pony would attack an alicorn with her bare hooves!" laughed the Nightmare, on top now and pinning the cowpony's forelegs to the floor. "There is a reason why your race has always been on the bottom of the pile. Let me demonstrate why you are the subject and I am the princess." Her horn charged up to deliver a killing blow.
"You ain't no princess a' mine!" shouted Applejack, and she reeled back and slammed her forehead against the Nightmare's muzzle with a loud crunch. The alicorn's grip slackened. She choked and gasped, blood pouring from her nose. Applejack took the chance to get her rear hooves up between their bodies and kicked as hard as she could, sending the Nightmare careening backwards across the science hall and smashing down into a glass display case.
Twilight, barely conscious, grabbed at Fluttershy's foreleg. "Dampeners..." she said. Her shoulder was a maze of angry red burn-lines.
"Shh, Twilight," said Fluttershy, examining the unicorn for additional injuries, "don't try to talk. Just lie still." She grabbed a packet of sulfa powder from her bag and prepared a bandage. Angel Bunny bounded over, carrying her stethoscope in his mouth, his tiny eyebrows furrowed in determination. "Thanks, Angel."
"Dampeners," said Twilight, a little stronger this time. "Fluttershy, you have to collect the magic dampeners... we teleported with them, but they scattered... tie them together... use them on... Nightmare..."
"What are you talking about?" She followed the unicorn's pointing hoof, and now she could see them. Small crystal orbs, which had apparently fallen out of thin air along with Twilight and the Nightmare. They had rolled everywhere, to all corners of the room.
"There are six," said Twilight. "Her magic is... weak now, but not for long..." And then she was unconscious again.
Be brave, Fluttershy ordered herself. Move fast, don't get seen; you can do this! But oh, Celestia, I'm not a brave pony. I'm just not.
* * *
"Have a seat anywhere," said Shield Banner, motioning around the dank garrison commander's office.
Rarity shuffled in, her typical grace hampered by the iron chains around her ankles. She looked around the grimy space, trying not to let her disdain show. This was no time for ladylike pleasantries--she had to seem supremely grateful, no matter what. She chose a spot on a dusty mat in front of the garrison commander's desk and sat down daintily. The predawn had grown freezing cold, and they were both wet and muddy from the rain.
"So," said Shield Banner, settling in behind the desk. "Tell me why you shouldn't hang with the rest of the traitors."
"Because I was coerced," said Rarity. "Twilight and I grew apart a long time ago, mainly due to her...ah... strange ambitions. It's been a relationship of convenience for years. I accompanied all of them tonight just to do some networking, you know, for my business. But as you can see, Twilight and Spike had other ideas."
Shield Banner frowned. "You mean to tell me they've been planning this for years, and you never came to us about it?"
"It was just talk! Twilight was dissatisfied with the way Canterlot had been run since Luna had returned. She said that a democratic republic would make for a more responsive and fair government, and that only a revolution could bring about one of those."
Shield Banner snorted. "A democracy? Maybe if she wanted the government to be deadlocked and ineffectual."
"That's what I said! But I never, ever, for one second thought it would come to this, or else I would have turned the traitor in years ago. I never thought she was serious. I ask you, who would? This is Equestria, not some dark adventure novella. Nothing like that has happened in centuries!"
"Indeed," said Shield Banner. "Please continue."
Rarity expounded further on the tale, feverishly recounting how Twilight and Spike had threatened her with torture or even death if she went to the authorities, how they forced her to use her magic to locate the horn. "And then she told me, 'The guards will never believe you, so if we fail, you'll go down for it just like us...'" Rarity broke off to sob into her hoof. Shield Banner sighed and handed her a tissue. "Thank you, thank you," she said, sniffling. "Twilight told me, 'Help us, and when I'm in charge, we'll make you a hero. Otherwise, you'll end up in a shallow grave, and maybe, just maybe, we'll kill you first.' Oh, it was horrible! Horrible!"
"Well," rumbled Shield Banner. "You did the right thing, in the end."
"I know," sobbed Rarity. "I just wish I'd had the courage to do it sooner."
"That would have been preferrable, yes," said Shield Banner. "Still, the fact that Luna is alive is a stroke of luck I wasn't expecting. It just begs the question of: why?" He looked up at Rarity. "Why would the conspirators want to fake Luna's death?"
So many competing lies... "I have no idea," she said.
"Alright," said Shield Banner, "let's back up. The conspirators are Pinkemena Diane Pie, Rainbow Dash, Twilight Sparkle, Spike the Dragon...am I missing anypony?"
"Two, actually. Applejack and Fluttershy were tasked with moving the princess."
Shield Banner leaned forward. "Did you just say Fluttershy?"
"Yes."
"Yellow pegasus? Pink mane?"
"That's the one, yes."
Shield Banner's face grew very tight. He sat back slowly. "Fluttershy," he muttered to himself, grinding his teeth. His eyes burned with sudden, intense fury. "Well," he said in a dark tone, "how about that. She kept me away from the castle with the oldest trick in the book..."
"Did I say something wrong?" asked Rarity, genuinely frightened by this unexpected reaction.
Shield Banner cleared his throat, and his face became inscrutable once again. "No, in fact it all makes sense now. It makes too much sense." He was quiet for a moment. Then he asked: "Where is the meetup point?"
"Appleloosa," said Rarity. "They're taking the princess to Appleloosa."
"Well, they won't get far," said Shield Banner. He stood up suddenly. Rarity shrunk back, but the Guard Captain was only heading over to the door. He called for his clerk, and when the young stallion ran up, Shield Banner whispered orders to him.
Meanwhile, Rarity's telekinetic threads swept into Shield Banner's saddlebag and seized the tiny brass key that she had detected with her treasure sense. The inhibitor ring around Rarity's horn was supposed to prevent this sort of thing, of course, but the seamstress didn't find it too hard to work around. She spent her days threading needles, after all.
Make a fool of me, will you, she thought as she lifted the key from the pack and sent it darting through the air toward her. Lock me up in chains and throw me into that disgusting wagon and make me sit on this dirty floor will you... She seethed with anger. Beat up Rainbow, torture Pinkie Pie, threaten us all with execution... She tucked the key into her hair, right behind her ear. Just you wait, you boor, you pig. It is on, now.
"Water?" said Shield Banner coming back.
"Thank you," she said with relief and appreciation, accepting the waterskin from the Guard Captain. "You are truly a gentlecolt among stallions. But I fear what will happen if Twilight finds out I turned on her... She'll want to kill me... or worse..."
"You've got nothing to worry about now," said Shield Banner. "This thing keeps getting weirder and weirder, but we'll unravel it soon enough. And when we do, those responsible will be punished so severely that nopony will ever try this again."
Rarity started to cry with relief. "Thank goodness we have ponies like you to protect us."
* * *
Nightmare Sun screamed in fury as she blasted her way out from underneath the massive pile of glass. She flapped her enormous white wings and rose into the air, broken shards falling from her like droplets of water. "Pathetic little earth pony, I recognize you now," she snarled. "You wielded one of the Elements the night I returned from the moon, didn't you?"
"I woulda' thought you'd remember me sooner," said Applejack from her hiding place behind a stone pillar, "considering how badly we beat the stuffin' outta' you."
"Sorry, but all you meat-bags look the same to me," spat the Nightmare. Liquid fire roared in helices along the alicorn's skin. The light from her horn was blinding. She lifted a hoof to her cheek and pressed the torn flesh back together. After a second, it was like the wound had never existed. "What a shame, really, that you won't be around to watch me turn Equestria into my own personal stockyard. It's going to be just fantastic, just marvelous. But I guess some ponies are more trouble than they're worth."
A tiny spot of flame appeared at the alabaster tip of her horn, growing and burning hotter and hotter. It doubled in size, tripling, again and again until a molten boulder of magma roiled in space above the alicorn. With a powerful crack of magic, Nightmare Sun sent the lava ball spinning directly at the cowpony.
Applejack scrambled to her hooves, diving out of the way as the massive fireball melted through stone like butter. The cowpony leaped up onto a marble planter, then flung herself at a chandelier, swinging on the light-fixture as the lava sphere roared beneath her. Daring Do, eat your heart out!
But the boiling boulder swerved upwards to chase her. Nightmare Sun was controlling it with her monstrous telekinesis. The magma plowed through the floor directly below Applejack, sending the cowpony tumbling head over hooves into a pile of stacked-up chairs and desks.
Applejack squeezed out from under the furniture and tried to make a run for it, but the lava orb had split into three smaller spheres now, and began to circle around her, their orbits moving to cut off any route of escape. She feinted left and right, but the lava just continued to circle in, closer and closer. Smoke began rising from the edge of her cowpony hat. She smelled burnt hair. The air was so hot it was agony to breathe.
Shoot, she thought, casting about for an escape that just wasn't there. I guess... I guess this is it. Well, I gave it my all, didn't I?
Apple Bloom and Big Mac. The harvest was going to be tough without her help, but those two were Apples to the core. They'd make it. Sorry I couldn't stick around longer to grow old with you, guys. I have to go see Ma and Pa now.
The heat grew so intense that Applejack swore she could feel the exact moment she began to cook in her skin.
* * *
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Picture Credits:
http://img03.deviantart.net/a480/i/2012/178/1/f/wallpaper_rarity_by_zoekleinman-d551ogw.jpg
http://images6.fanpop.com/image/photos/36300000/My-Little-Pony-Friendship-is-Magic-image-my-little-pony-friendship-is-magic-36366591-1366-768.jpg
http://www.zastavki.com/pictures/2560x1600/2011/Creative_Wallpaper_Flying_fire_028661_.jpg
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Oh, snap son. Sh*t just got real!!
And I must admit, I felt a serious grin on my face when Nightmare got bucked. Love it when the bad guys get what they deserve, even if it's small.
Mmmm... That's some good cooked AJ.
I'm not quite sure why, but somehow I'm not as worried about AJ as I should have been. Maybe it's the tone. Not dark or dramatic enough for something happening to her to be a real possibility.
288178 agreed, I know it could happen, but I've read stories where she's come out of worse so I feel she'll likely come out all right. Plus we've got the Chekhov's Gun that is the dampeners being gathered up for use already.
aint that like a moletoff coicktail???
If this fic manages to bring back/use side characters and antagonists from the show as new protagonists I will be SO HAPPY.
Let's see...
Trixie: Illusion magic, lockpicking and espionage. Crowd Control/rogue
Zecora: potions, alchemy, poison- assassination of vital government leaders and interrogation of Celestian loyalists, strength, dexterity, power, stamina and healing potions, decent illusions. Buffer/crowd control.
Gilda: mercenary assassin, large damage output and excellent speed. Rogue.
Flim and Flam: engineers and mechanics, artillery, power armor, tanks, Gatling guns, anything steampunk. Ranged.
Iron Will: large muscle mass and thick skin, good at tanking. Tank.
Discord: god-tier powers, should take on Nightmare Sun with little more than a snap and a chuckle. "I WIN" card.
Big Mac: god-tier strength. Tank/damage output. Can take on a small battalion singlehoofedly, drag a full-size house and knock down walls with little effort when motivated. Warrior/tank.
Combat abilities to look forward to:
Twilight Sparkle: near-god-tier magic. Fireball, telekinesis, mind rape, transfiguration, transmutation, telefragmentation. Mage/ranged.
Rarity: near-god-tier telekinesis. Subatomic manipulation, illusion, destruction/manipulation/control of internal organs, lockpicking. Rogue.
Pinkie: god-tier fourth wall and dexterity. Offscreen teleportation, walking on air, hammerspace, elastic body, cartoon invulnerability, mindreading, precognition. Pinkamena: psychotic assassin interrogator. High weapon proficiency and extensive knowledge of anatomy, ability to metabolize inedible matter, high pain threshold and ability to inflict massive amounts of pain and damage. Rogue/bard.
Applejack: as shown. Warrior/tank.
Rainbow Dash: god-tier speed. Large area effect abilities, electricity, weather manipulation, shockwave abilities. Possibly tornado, hurricane, blizzard, firestorm and earthquake generation abilities. If she can move fast enough, time travel abilities. Rogue.
Fluttershy: wide and varied mind and medicine abilities. Willbreaker/Mind Control Stare, extensive knowledge of anatomy, ability to immobilize or otherwise incapacitate opponents, ability to command Everfree creatures, high strength, almost god-tier speed when motivated, extreme resistance to manipulation. Buffer/crowd control/beastmaster/druid/rogue.
Spike: all known dragon capabilities. Ranged/Tank/Warrior.
Let the campaign begin.
I wonder, how long are you making this fic?
I just hope NS gets whats coming soon, and not too much filler as other fics tend to do.
Would be interesting if the Night Guards was hiding and watching, determining the truth and reporting to the royal guard.
A...Applejack...?
Well, it's certainly not the best of situations, but it's always darkest before the dawn, right?
Oh wait, I just remembered who controls the dawn...
288425
Your comment makes Me get grand thoughts of a dungeon crawler based around MLP: FIM
Oh how I would sell my slimy body for such a creation to bless this world.
288957
This story should be two more chapters plus epilogue. I always wanted the entirety of Daylight Burning to take place during a single night, and it's almost sunrise, isn't it?
This is actually the first half of my originally planned Chapter 6, but school has been so crazy recently that I decided to split it into two chapters joined by a cliff-hanger so that I would have something to publish this week. The "rest" of Chapter 6, now called "Chapter 7: My Little Hostages," should launch in a week or two depending on what kinds of horrors my professors come up with.
Thank you for commenting!
288178 I know what you mean; I never really thought Batman was going to die either, no matter what kind of crazy trap the Joker put him in.
Rarity is best double agent!
Hello mr or mrs. Guesswork,
Your story has been a most enjoyable read thus far and I hope you write the next chapter with the speed of slugs.
I was pondering if you would be expanding the story into being a huge equestria wide revolution, or keep it simpler with it only having the mane 6, spike, and possibly Luna and the night guards?
I had to laugh when Rarity started her "I'm innocent, don't keep me in here with these filthy traitors!" spiel. Of course the Queen of Social-Fu would do something like that (and nick the key to her shackles with high-precision stealth telekinesis). And equally of course Rainbow Dash, who's not only loyal as all heck, but hardly the sharpest hammer of the Mane Six, would react just like that.
I have to admire how utterly bad-ass you let every one of the girls to be, without pulling punches from the villain or the Royal Guards, either.
288425 Goddamn it, now you have me craving completely irrational skyrim-esque MLP game. And now that I think about it, the world that this story is set in (Not just setting, but also events, character development, ect.) would make an amazing game. Somepony hop on that and get it done.
Any chance the phantom update email I just received means the next chapter is about to be released? Need to know what happens to
I sense an update
317561 Just scanner ghosts, most likely. Watch your six, pilot.
God, that was amazing. I liked the picture at the end too.
I have to wonder at how AJ was able to hold off the Nightmare for so long, though, being just an earth pony and all. I guess she's not an Element of Harmony for nothing!
And poor naive Shield Banner! I feel bad that he thinks that about Fluttershy, but i can't totally feel bad for him since his job is making him do that to pinkie and rainbow
Amazing writing and nice cliffhanger! Keep it up!
327486
Earth pony magic
Not as flashy or even as visible as Unicorn or Pegasus magic, but equally as powerful when manifested under proper conditions. Just take a look at Big Macintosh's strength in Hearts and Hooves, or think about the skills of Granny Smith in Family Appreciation Day, or AJ's endurance and speed on hoof manifested over and over again throughout the series. It is also said that the "Truth shall set one free" which may be one of the answers to liberating Celestia from her own body.
I think the following also applies to the current fic:
I'm awaiting word on pinkie's teleportation, fourth wall, shapeshifting, contortionist and bard powers. And i do mean powers, just read any fanfic or watch the series over again. In war, offscreen teleportation, hammerspace, charisma (already shown), and rubber limbs, if not limited to rule of funny, are near-demigodlike powers, and would give her actual advantages as the group progresses to more powerful enemies, and even deal with current enemies such as the agents of Nightmare Sun. Antimagic stones may limit unicorns, but Pinkie needs no magic, all she needs is medium awareness and a quick peek at the author's notes to kill, maim or otherwise incapacitate the enemy.
Fluttershy's Stare, liberated from simple emergency use by Iron will, as well as her druid abilities should be equally helpful in crowd control and summoning. Getting the help of the creatures of the Everfree, such as perhaps a Cockatrice and a Dragon, would be quite helpful in destroying or mesmerizing the Sun's armies and secret police. If Rarity still has the ability, being able to call upon Diamond Dogs to dig through solid concrete and granite in the blink of an eye would definitely help. Sound carries quickly through stone, and if they are willing their already fearsome strength would do wonders even against gun-armed ponies. You lift your gun, my brother tears you limb from limb from beneath and eats your entrails.
That would finally allow the "useless" members of the mane six to start participating in earnest rather than being lumped into The Load, which would really disappoint me.
Notmally i would be inclined to say Dash's sonic rainboom and rainnuke would make her op if unlocked from their place as last resorts, but as with Pimkie and Fluttershy's normally op powers, war is the great equalizer, and the enemy have already shown themselves much more capable than most give them credit, so I'd say give Dash all the advantages you can. A weaponized Buckaneer Blaze could shut down New Ponyville's electric grid long enough to Rainnuke a building or two and possibly kill a couple hundred enemy soldiers, and if timed correctly a Rainboom at low altitude could destroy half the city. Shock and Awe isn't limited to Sun powers and would go a ways in cowing the enemy.
Twilight seems to have been nerfed to oblivion, but I would expect her to grow less merciful over time. Why levitate or coddle the enemy when you can incinerate them with a fireball or transmute their internal organs to stone? Applejack already has the right idea to kill (or maim) first and ask questions later. Spike knows this but is unwilling to use his draconic strength and fire breath to its full potential. Boil the enemy alive; antidragonfire armor does nothing against non-draconic thousand-degree steam from vaporized water. Tear their bodies into strips of flopping bloody flesh; all the armor in the world does nothing against a trillion tons of force applied over a tiny area.
330471 I never thought of it that way,
thanks for your insight! 
330471
Pretty much. Except I'd say that Pinkie's "powers" are more related to cartoon physics than the 4th wall.
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no problem!
332721
what is your opinion on the rest of my post? i know we had a long discussion on the subject elsewhere, but I believe that this instance, at least, is sufficiently grimdark to warrant my suggested powers and choices. what do you think?
333350
Well most of your post seems possibly copy/paste and holds some assumptions and relevance that does not apply here. Like guns for instance.
For AJ/earth ponies I agree except that I don't think her element would have direct influence unless she was physically wearing her Element.
As I stated for Pinkie, cartoon physics and all. 4th wall, not so much.
Fluttershy's stare only really works well on a single enemy, and yes her creature friends would be willing to help, however I disagree that she has the ability to "tame" unfriendly/unsympathetic creatures like the Cockatrice.
Rarity has no connection with the Diamond Dogs what so ever. And the Diamond Dogs are pretty low grade threats as portrayed in this story.
Rainbow I do agree with but loyalty would not allow her to endanger civilians at all. Also there are no real soldiers, just the Royal Guard who probably number about a couple hundred at most in the area, most of which would not be able to leave Canterlot in a time of crisis. Also remember Shield Banner specializes in tactics and defensive battle magic. Other foes would be less equipped to handle Dash's speed alone.
Twilight is not nerfed. She actually took out a whole squad with non-lethal means (much harder than lethal) while drained and suffering paralysis and disorientation and teleported herself and a much larger pony about a hundred kilometers or so. Twilight is the most powerful unicorn in Equestria, but she's still not an Alicorn. Luna's desperation attack against Nightmare failed. AJ's desperation attack against Nightmare failed. Twilight's wouldn't fare any better.
Spike is trained to be a protector of the realm. He is willing to do what it takes to deal with Nightmare, even kill misguided Guards. This doesn't make him bloodthirsty though. He's already regretting that he needs to fight those he's trying to protect. Also the Guards' armor is magically heat resistant so any heat based attack would do minimal damage. And Physical attacks, considering he's only about Luna's size, would be ineffective against those numbers. I do not really see that battle playing out any differently.
Also, this story isn't exactly what I would call grimdark, as in putting the characters through the meat grinder to see how they come out the other side. It's more... unfettered by the show's G rating, free to expand into more mature realms, but not forced over the borders into no-man's land. Which is the mistake made in too many grimdark fics.
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hum, I thought I saw a reference to guns somewhere early on. Oh well, moving on.
I am of the opinion that the true Elements are not simple gaudy pieces of jewelry but something manifested within the chosen Bearer. The depiction varies from author to author, and I am unsure as to this particular story's author's intent thus far regarding this.
Very well
She was capable of Staring multiple hens at a time, and forced the Cockatrice to reverse its spell on Twilight. If they ever got around to coming to an agreement on the issue it would be beneficial to both of them, with one providing backup for the other.
I honestly don't recall seeing them in the story so far, could you remind me as to which chapter/section it was in? And she has been using gems for quite a while after her previous encounter, so I am certain some sort of agreement had been worked out by now. I am certain a mare of her charisma would be capable of brokering a good deal with them. I am uncertain as to what you mean by "low grade" however; having muscles that are capable of tunneling through packed earth and even soft stone with all the speed of a fish through water would certainly seem more than enough to rend even armor-wearing ponies apart. Being able to do so also allows them unparalleled stealth to attack from the one place surface-dwellers don't expect. I'm certain given time to adapt somepony would figure out a simple seismic-vibration-sensing-spell, but until then Diamond Dogs would be quite valuable allies.
True, but sooner or later her loyalties must be taken into consideration. Casualties are inevitable in war, and sometimes collateral damage must be accepted as an unavoidable factor when taking on enemies. Defensive magic is all well and good, but even fast reflexes take time, and I doubt he can get a shield up faster than Dash can put a hoof through his torso at Mach 13.
She was taken down by a squad of perfectly normal ponies and held prisoner by a single pony. This particular story's alicorns are nowhere near godlike, not even demigodlike; an Element of Magic who hatched and matured a dragon egg, transmogrified both her parents into potted plants, destroyed what I would expect to be a magically shielded tower (it is a MAGIC academy, correct?) and self-levitated all at the same time, as a young prepubescent child, should be capable of far more than has been shown in my humble opinion. My thought is that perhaps she lacks imagination to put her potential to full use; having relied on books and studies to control her magic for so long, she finds it difficult to adjust her spells to the situation on the fly. Her narrow escape from Canterlot shows that she is becoming slowly more creative, but it takes a lot of wit and speedy thinking to overcome a millenia-old being. The power and potential is there, it just needs guidance.
He is a dragon. Use those claws to rend the armor off and cook the pony within, then use their own weapons to slice and dice the nearest other guards. Heat-resistant thought they be, I doubt they do much against g-forces, so give a big splash and knock them about like so many domino's and bowling pins. Guards have to breath, so turn the water into steam and have them breath thousand-degree air, incinerating their respiratory organs. Use only the fuel portion of your breath to evacuate the vicinity of oxygen and suffocate them. Melt the granite beneath you into lava; you are impervious to it and have experience swimming in it; the guard does not. Use your draconic strength to crack open a fault, or whip your tail through the air to create a shockwave through the air; damage from grenades and bombs are often through the shockwave rather than the shrapnel, and the waves can cause massive internal bleeding and other damage to vital organs, in addition to possible cardiac arrest, stroke or other damage as miniature shockwaves travel through the circulatory system. There are many ways to utilize draconic strength and abilities, and under Luna's training those abilities should be honed to full lethal potential, taking advantage of all the weaknesses of the three/four pony races.
What you describe sounds like an aspect of grimdark to me. Taking ponies and putting them in situations which compromise their most basic, fundamental moral beliefs and force them to commit atrocities they would never in a million years have considered otherwise is a core tenet of grimdark, whether introducing them to magical nuclear warfare, endless medieval conflict with inequine monsters, drugs, sexual slavery, the death of relatives, an insane psychopathic friend, demon gods, or in this case a merciless superequine demon in the body of what was once a trusted mentor and ruler.
Elements
I'd recommend erring on the side of show canon for mechanics of anything not explicitly explained in this fic.
Flutterstare
Ah. I did misspeak concerning Fluttershy. Field of vision is a better term for her limitation. Her concentration is also a factor. It would be easy for her concentration to be broken or for multiple enemies to flank her.
Also the stare works more like extreme negative reinforcement as a deterrent rather than mind control. The Cockatrice is an A-Hole so it would be difficult to win over an evil aligned creature compared to a neutral one such as a Manticore or good one like the Cerberus.
Diamond Dogs
Chapter 2. Luna impacted in the DD's territory. The DDs tried to eat her and rape/kill/eat (whichever was easier) RD and AJ. RD and AJ beat the living f*** outa them. That's how AJ got her bite wound on the neck. They're kinda pathetic and seem to only really be able to dig through rather soft ground. The potential is there but not as allies. I doubt they will be developed any further here.
Dash
This is theoretical rather than relevant. After years of fighting, bloodshed and loss, perhaps she would develop this mentality. Otherwise it would be extremely OOC.
And yes, Dash is deadly from ambush, but her abilities are all too direct when expected by an experienced veteran. She is powerful, but not a trained soldier/tactician.
Twilight
She was not taken down by anyone. She was undercover. She was not held prisoner by "one pony" she was detained by a Spec-Ops Intelligence Agent using SIX Magic Dampeners, and was only in that situation because she placed herself there willingly.. She still had her Element as an Ace in the hole too.
And you cannot take the events of her entrance exam seriously into account. That was raw power out of control, not spellwork. She could probably kill most ponies effortlessly with telekinesis alone, but why would she? She's never had a reason to.
Spike
Use those claws to rend the armor off and cook the pony within, then use their own weapons to slice and dice the nearest other guards
This would be idiotic tactically. Simply using his claws to slice an artery and move on to the next is more efficient. I'm not sure the guards even use weapons, having hooves, wings and magic makes them living weapons. But dealing with that many threats 1 at a time is suicide.
Heat-resistant thought they be, I doubt they do much against g-forces, so give a big splash and knock them about like so many domino's and bowling pins.
How do you mean? He has no wings. He's also only somewhat bigger than a large pony.
Guards have to breath, so turn the water into steam and have them breath thousand-degree air, incinerating their respiratory organs.
All of this was already a part of the explosion he set off. The magic armor seems to protect against all forms of elemental heat damage.
Use only the fuel portion of your breath to evacuate the vicinity of oxygen and suffocate them.
Impossible id they are in open air and surround you 360 degrees.
Melt the granite beneath you into lava; you are impervious to it and have experience swimming in it; the guard does not.
Would take much too long.
Use your draconic strength to crack open a fault, or whip your tail through the air to create a shockwave through the air; damage from grenades and bombs are often through the shockwave rather than the shrapnel, and the waves can cause massive internal bleeding and other damage to vital organs, in addition to possible cardiac arrest, stroke or other damage as miniature shockwaves travel through the circulatory system. There are many ways to utilize draconic strength and abilities, and under Luna's training those abilities should be honed to full lethal potential, taking advantage of all the weaknesses of the three/four pony races.
He's large pony size. He's about as strong as Big Mac, maybe.
grimdark
Nope.
What you are referring to is termed "dark fic". Which is any maturing, darkening or corruption of lighter source material.
"Grim dark" is a part of dark fic designed to play up the worst possible scenario solely for the sake of pushing the content as far as it can go.
336616
very well
i begin to wonder what exactly her relationship currently is with quite a few of the greater creatures of the Everfree. Even without a cockatrice having such creatures as allies would be a great advantage.
we shall see.
many years have passed since the time when ponyville was a peaceful, harmonious community. I'm sure the mentality will grow on her. She'll have to adapt if she want to survive in this new world.
well now she has reason to. I have a feeling both her and Luna are holding back at their own expense. If they learned to kill the incarnation of the Sun unflinchingly, perhaps their troubles would be over.
Then use an area attack, I'm just listing possibilities.
Tail sweep?
Hmm, have to reread that part.
even if a portion of them retreated it would help in balancing the odds.
how hot is his breath, and how fast can he melt rock? not sure if it has actually been examined before.
then consider dragons nerfed.
Then I suppose many fics on EqD and fimchan are mislabeled.
The Six and their increasingly few allies face a legion of magically protected flying guards with countermeasures to each and every one of their attacks and a living goddess in control of a star. The only known force capable of stopping the enemy is locked away by said enemy. I am attempting to balance what currently seems like a curbstomp yanking of the dog's chain pointing directly at a bad end sugar apocalypse. If the Six cannot, or at least are unwilling, to utilize the full extent of their powers, then I suppose I would suggest releasing Discord once more. He may be the "everyone loses" card, but a tortuous existence may be preferable to cessation of existence. The author may have joked at a consortium earlier, but I was completely serious in my suggestions. A planetwide war would be necessary to prevent the planet's end, unless there is some way to have the Six take multiple levels in badass to take on their enemies.
Ponyville
You are confusing "more realistic and mature" with "darker and edgier".
Twi and Luna
If you reread the first chapter it's apparent to me that Luna gave 100% to kill Nightmare. And she is a battle magic adept.
Dragon nerfage
I don't know what type of god dragon you are envisioning.
Spike is the size of a great dane dog.
dire threat
Um, Nightmare does not have the elements, the bearers have them.
Also there are hints in the message left by Celestia that there is another way to stop Nightmare.
And there are many wildcards left to play.
Also, Nightmare only commands power while the masquerade is in effect. Few would follow the demon who dared to subsume their beloved Princess of the Day.
Nightmare is the threat, not any war.
338263 Wait 'till you see what happens next.
338421
338438
what he/she said i guess
My mind is being torn to peices with anticipation for the next update. I must say that is quite a cliff hanger there!! I've been on the edge of my seat since I started this story, and I still am on the edge of my metaphorical seat, eagerly anticipating the next part of the story!
okay, so is rarity being good for the team or a traitor? I read a little fast and got sorta confused.... She's still helping, right?
IT JUST KEEPS GETTIN BETTER!!
Write fast!
On a different note, I LOVE ThIS STORY!!!!
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Hello, a quick update: Chapter 7 AND 8 are in final rewrites. Thank you for your comments and your ratings. I started writing this for me, but I'm writing it for you now, too, and it just makes me work harder and be more meticulous about it.
Re: AJ vs NM
Applejack is able to fight the Nightmare because of a few factors, the most important being that when a pony is exposed to the magic dampeners, it takes a little while for their magic to come back to full power. Without her pyro/telekinesis, even an alicorn doesn't want to have to brawl with AJ. Would you? But after her powers come back at the end of Chapter 6, you can see a different outcome.
Earth ponies do have their own sort of magic, which is internal and provides character buffs instead of overt "powers." Pinkie Pie is an extreme example that blurs the line, although her ability has the downside of being unpredictable and requiring her to make a "joke" for it to work. AJ is just strong as heck and has a million HP. Oh, she's got her lasso too. Darn, I guess she should have used it...
Finally, Rarity is just pretending to switch sides, Purple, don't worry. She's still best pony.
I'm supposed to be working right now, which means it is a perfect time to post this instead
:
338471
338421
There's some fanon here that I want to discuss, but first a comment on the Dark label for this story. I would not characterize Daylight Burning as Grimdark. I wanted this story to be rated PG with a few examples of PG-13 because almost everything that has inspired this story is like that. There is very little overt gore in the Matrix, LotR, Star Wars (except at the end of III), Star Trek, Mass Effect, Indiana Jones, Naruto, X-Men, Justice League, Power Puff Girls, or Samurai mothafuckin Jack, and so on, and so forth. The same applies to language. I would love to write a true horror one-shot some day, though.
Re: Elements. I've always seen it like this: the Elements are semisentient weapons that automatically seek out extraordinary ponies with extraordinary magics to sync with and become their Wielders. The fact that the Elements chose the Mane 6 indicates that each of the girls has an unusually intense magic, exhibited by their various super-pony powers. So, to answer the question of whether the Element or the Wielder is the source of the power, the answer is: YES!
If it seems like certain characters are holding back their true strength when fighting each other, consider that Equestria has been a paradise for 50 generations, and that mindset is ingrained into each of the ponies that lives there, and Spike too. While certain political threats may lurk at the borders, the internal politics of Equestria are stable and utterly peaceful by our standards. Thus the ponies (yes even soldiers) are generally reluctant to hurt other ponies, and it makes them, perhaps, a little hesitant in battle-- both sides, I should say. The Diamond Dogs get no such mercy, poor bastards, and the Nightmare gives none.
The Flutterstare is cocked, locked, and ready to rock.
Spike is still a very young dragon.
says: "Why, it hasn't been but eight years since he was knee-high to a grasshopper!" Sure, Luna's been training him, but a creature that lives a millenium only grows up so fast. He's still only level 6 with his exp gauge half-full, although one day he shall rend mountains asunder.
I disagree that the girls are soldiers. Many of the threats are not "assigned to them" at all, but basically fall into their laps. Their status as Wielders of the Elements does entail them duty toward threats like NMM and Discord, but they are never shown training for combat or anything of that sort. Dragonshy was a diplomatic mission, and in the end, it was solved diplomatically, just as Celestia had planned.
Will canon side characters/villains be appearing in the story? On either side of the crisis, although I love it when former villains become the enemy of your enemy and thus your friend. Trixie, Gilda, the Flim-Flam Brothers, Zecora, Iron Will, Big Macintosh, Lyra and Bonbon, Peewee, the good Doctor, or even Discord himself?
I notice you are utilizing game mechanics to describe the characters, and will now adjust accordingly.
) Will he be featuring?
Is Pinkie going to get chances to use her Bard abilities to buff her friends or wear down the Nightmare? Songs have power, even if only psychological, and the Six need all the advantages they can get. She also has cannons and "emergency stashes" of just about everything, will they be used? How about her divination abilities? If Pinkamena comes out will she have borderline horror abilities/knowledge?
How long is the cooldown for the Stare? Has Fluttershy made any animal/monster allies/pets/friends that can help in any capacity, besides Angel?
What's the power cost and cooldown for the Rainboom, Rainnuke, Buckaneer Blaze, and minitornado?
Are there Boss/Elite Diamond Dogs that could actually do more than act like walking XP?
Zecora's HP and power restoration potions could be very useful here. Will they be featured?
Big Mac ain't gonna let NOPONY hurt his sister like that, and he can pull houses and take on the entire population of Ponyville singlehoofedly. His power level could be OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAND (so, so sorry
So many questions, so little time..
Will canon side characters/villains be appearing in the story?
A few, yes, but I am trying to keep the number of characters to a minimum, since the end of the story is swiftly approaching. Any future stories I might write after this, though, I would love to incorporate as many of these canon side-characters as I can.
I notice you are utilizing game mechanics to describe the characters, and will now adjust accordingly.
I like terms from WoW and d20.
Is Pinkie going to get chances to use her Bard abilities to buff her friends or wear down the Nightmare? Songs have power, even if only psychological, and the Six need all the advantages they can get.
What a phenomenal idea! I don't want to promise anything because I'm not a poet or songwriter, but I'll see what turns out.
She also has cannons and "emergency stashes" of just about everything, will they be used?
Emergency stashes is a good idea. Where DOES she keep that clipboard? No non-party cannons or weapons of any kind, though. Violence is absolutely not Pinkie's style. It's more reality-jitsu.
How about her divination abilities?
It's not divination so much as it's, like, cosmic spider-sense. Actual divination is what Celestia does (although not the Nightmare, yet, because it's a lot harder than TK or PK.)
If Pinkamena comes out will she have borderline horror abilities/knowledge?
I love "Pinkamena," but she is a fan creation, and from a trollfic no less. I'm trying to evoke the show as much as I can here, so no homicidal second personality, sorry. When Pinkie's hair is straight, she's just sad Pinkie.
How long is the cooldown for the Stare?
Not overlong. An hour maybe, depending on its intensity?
Has Fluttershy made any animal/monster allies/pets/friends that can help in any capacity, besides Angel?
:
Probably. :
What's the power cost and cooldown for the Rainboom, Rainnuke, Buckaneer Blaze, and minitornado?
. It is not powerful enough to take down a city or maybe not even, like, a brick building (that barn was pretty old). It's probably most useful as an anti-personnel weapon. Long cooldown-- a day or even a week.
Obviously, any of these might change depending on what the story needs.
Rainboom: No cost, this power regenerates energy. No cooldown. Requires Dash to be flying at her maximum non-Rainboom speed, though, which isn't easy. What do you think the duration should be? 10 minutes? An hour?
Rainnuke: This is a risky move that can injure Rainbow Dash, so it's a last resort. She didn't have time to use it in the swamp, and was otherwise preoccupied with
By the way, wouldn't it have been funny if Japanese people had protested the rain-nuke like those parents protested Derpy? No, no, I didn't think so either.
Buck Blaze: I interpret this move as some sort of electric-blade attack like a Chidori. It's probably got a medium cost and cooldown.
Minitornado: This one has no cooldown, and low power consumption, but does no damage. Stun/debuff only.
Are there Boss/Elite Diamond Dogs that could actually do more than act like walking XP?
Those guys made a bad mistake, right? Well, in their defense, it's not like you can read a pony's level by looking at her gear, amirite?? Yes, there are boss and elite Diamond Dogs. Ru-fi-o! Ru-fi-o!
Zecora's HP and power restoration potions could be very useful here. Will they be featured?
I agree that she has those powers, and we'll see if she needs to be in this. "Drink this up, my pony friend, so that your head is whole again!" ::zecorahappy::
Big Mac ain't gonna let NOPONY hurt his sister like that, and he can pull houses and take on the entire population of Ponyville singlehoofedly. His power level could be OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAND (so, so sorry ) Will he be featuring?
I really love Big Mac, and Derpy, Lyra, Berry, Pinchy, Dinky, the CMC's, the pets, Carrot Top, Octavia, Scratch, Bob Marley AND the Wailers. But some of them might have to wait for my next project after this one.
As always, thanks for reading.
345609
Some of your questions are addressed in Ch 7. See above post.
Shame about this Captain, though... I like him. He's smart and loyal and just has the very wrong boss right now.
... no. Bullshit. Good try, damn good try, but that sentence doesn't lead into anything but "and then it stopped."
You managed to perfectly capture all of the non-OC characters perfectly.
Don't fuck this up rarity
Applejack! NNNOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
You really have to wonder about what's going on in Equestria's chain of command, if a leader known for a near-religious dedication to peace and forgiveness can, after centuries since the last legal execution, order national heroines to be hunted down and executed without trial and most of the government forces just go "Welp, you heard the boss, send out the death squads."
Like, Shield Banner here is basically a walking argument for why monarchies are a bad idea -- and, given that his usual monarch is Princess Celestia, that takes some serious doing!