My Little Pony: The Next Generation

by Scroll

Chapter 1: The Good Old Days

Rainbow Dash and Applejack trotted around the large crowd that sat in front of graduate students. The students were facing towards a center stage while the others sat on the bleachers to the sides.The graduates were called up one by one to receive their Friendship School Diploma. During that time a band played the song “When The Saints Go Marching In”. Both mares were a little surprised to discover how late they were to this event. By the looks of it, over two-thirds of the students had already been called to the stage to receive their Diploma.

Spike called the next student to come on stage to receive the diploma.

AJ sighed. Whenever Spike was at the center it usually meant that he's covering for Twilight. "The Princess of Friendship just couldn't be bothered to come, could she?"

“It's about time you two showed up!” Headmare Starlight Glimmer quietly scolded them. It was a rare occasion to see her dressed up. a purple velvet coat that was open at the front which showed a white blouse. She stood at the base of the steps leading up to the stage, the Headmare glowered at the two approaching mares. “What took you two so long, anyway?”

In response, Applejack and Rainbow Dash looked at each other then started chuckling a bit with amusement and embarrassment. Observing this reaction made Headmare Starlight shift her head back and her eyes shrunk in startled realization, then she closed her eyes and slapped her face with a hoof.

“You know what? Um . . . never mind. I don't need to know,” Starlight decided. “Just . . . try to be on time next time, okay? Events like this mean a lot to our students.”

“We're sorry, Starlight,” Applejack apologized as she looked at the Headmare with a regretful expression and pulled her Stetson hat to her chest. “Honestly, we jus' lost track of time, s'all. We're still just gettin' ta know each other in a more . . . um . . . you know. We're still sorting things out. I promise ya, we'll try hard not to let it happen again.”

“What you two do in your own private time is your business, and I'd prefer that you two keep it that way,” Starlight scolded with slightly narrow eyes at the two recently married mares. “Just don't let it interfere with your duties, alright?”

“You're right, Starlight.” Applejack placed her hat back on her head. “It won't happen again.”

“It better not! Now go on up the stage and take your places, you two,” Starlight ordered.

Rainbow lifted a hoof in objection. “Actually, I wanted to check up on the cheering squad one more time. I'll be back in a jiff.”

Starlight hung her head a bit lower as she sighed in annoyance, then said, “Fine! Just be back here before we finish with the Valedictorians. You two have a role to play after that.”

“It would be quicker if I could get some guidance before I left,” Rainbow prompted hopefully. “Do you know where the cheering squad is located?”

Starlight looked at Rainbow in surprise. “What?! But I thought you . . .” Starlight trailed off when she thought of something that might explain Rainbow's ignorance of their current position. The Headmare pierced her with her eyes , and she gave another sigh. “Fine! Pay attention this time. They are right over there” Starlight pointed out the cheering squads location with a hoof.

“Got it!” Rainbow Dash said confidently as she saluted Starlight with her right wing. “Catch you two again in a bit. I gotta dash!”

As promised, Rainbow suddenly zipped away, leaving a rainbow streak following her tail.

Starlight regarded Applejack gestured up the stage. On cue, Applejack trotted past Starlightwhilehaving one final tip of her. Meanwhile, Applejack was burning with a bit of embarrassment. She quickly tried to take her seat so as to cause less disruption to any-creature else in this important and otherwise joyous ceremony. Applejack carefully maneuvered around the ascending line of former students wearing black robes and sporting graduation caps. For their part, instead of looking at Applejack as if she were out of place, most of them nodded and smiled, practically to the point of beaming, when their eyes met with hers.

Applejack smiled back at them proudly. She thought to herself that they sure had earned this, and Applejack herself played no small role in this either.

The orange farm pony maneuvered herself to the rear end of the stage where the other present faculty of the School of Friendship were seated. In this case, Applejack sat on Rarity's right side. Applejack glanced at the empty seat to her right and made a mental note to keep it empty. It was assigned to Rainbow Dash anyway. She just wanted to make sure by keeping an eye on it until Dash would arrive. Rainbow Dash's seat was also the very last in line. Beyond that was the edge of the stage.

“Applejack, honestly!” Rarity lightly scolded upon looking at her late arrival friend, but there was a hint of amusement in her eyes as well which belied how much she probably expected this. “Do you think you could possibly arrive a little later? You almost missed the entire ceremony.”

“I'm sorry about that,” Applejack apologized while privately suspecting she might have to do that a dozen more times today.

The white unicorn with the elegant, curly purple mane and purple eyeshadowcouldn’t help herself from looking at her adjacent friend with a more professional eye. This alerted Rarity to Applejack's disheveled appearance. As the self-appointed fashion police, this was unacceptable to her. Accordingly, she ignited her horn and started adjusting Applejack's appearance with an eye for detail. Applejack's mane got straightened then woven into pig-tails which then got neatly tucked back under the Stetson hat. Rarity also adjusted Applejack's green bolo tie which had a clasp that resembled a red apple and a pair of brown drawstrings that were attached to the top of the apple like a stem. Rarity leaned towards her adjacent friend and sniffed for a few seconds then recoiled in horror. After that, she seemed to magically float a perfume bottle from out of nowhere. The shape of the bottle resembled that of an apple. Before Rarity could spray her friend with it, Applejack pushed it back with a hoof.

“You know I don't like that frilly frou-frou stuff, Rarity!” Applejack remarked sharply.

“You must relax, darling! I brought your favorite kind.” To demonstrate, Rarity sprayed just a bit at the tip of her right forehoof then lifted it to Applejack's snout. Applejack leaned forward to sniff it for a few seconds, then she narrowed one eye at Rarity in suspicion.

“And you jus' happened to keep that bottle hoofy?” “Applejack, please!” Rarity exclaimed dramatically as she closed her eyes and fluffed her mane with pride. “A lady always comes prepared!”

Applejack asked with suspicion. “How'd ya even know I'd be needin' it, anyway?

Were you actually expecting me and Dash to be like this?” Applejack probed further.

Instead of answering, Rarity gave the floating perfume bottle a sharp, emphatic look then looked back at Applejack with an expression that begged for permission.

Applejack sighed as she looked forward, then said in resigned annoyance, “Go ahead, if it means that much to ya.”

“Thank you!” Rarity gratefully sprayed the perfume bottle on her friend a bit.

While Rarity did that, Applejack regarded Spike with regret, then said, “Sure wish Twilight had some time to swing on by. Sure woulda been nice to see 'er, again.”

“Well, you know . . . she's a royal Princess of all of Equestria! Surely such duties would keep her busy, and you know how precise she likes to get with her tasks. It may take her ten times longer than it would for most other ponies, but when she finishes a job, she really gets it done.”

Applejack leaned back in her seat as she bowed her head and closed her eyes. “I know. It's jus' that . . . everythin' seems to be changing everywhere. Twilight has moved to Canterlot and so has Spike.”

Applejack looked at the herd around her,“These are the first students to graduate the School of Friendship. Weren't we just busy teaching them yesterday? Feels like it. Big Mac's married, and Rainbow Dash and I are. She's still busy moving her stuff into mah place. Starlight is the new Headmare, and Trixie has taken up Starlight's previous job, and you,” Applejack opened one eye and aimed it at her adjacent friend, “I hardly ever see you in Ponyville anymore.”

“Well, you know,” Rarity looked downcast a bit, “I've just been so busy with all of my new boutiques. As you know, I've been opening up several more shops that cater to the other non-pony species. With all of those new extra customers, I'm skyrocketing to the head of the fashion industry. Everycreature deserves to be fabulous It really is a lot of work, but also so rewarding, darling.”

“I know,” Applejack acknowledged with a light shrug. “But first Spike and Twilight move away, and now I don't hardly see ya n'more. Everythin' around me is jus' changin' so darn fast. It makes me wonder, who's gonna move away next?”

Applejack's eyes glimmered a bit with tears at her next thought, then said, “Granny Smith has probably got only a few years left in 'er. Soon she'll be gone for good, and that'll mark the end of an era for Ponyville. She was one of the original founders of Ponyville, ya know? I jus' can't stand the thought that I might have to say goodbye to another one of mah family. I suffered that before, and it still hurts.”

Rarity regarded her friend sympathetically. “Well . . . it may be true that your grandmother has only a few years left in her, but she got to live long enough to see her new daughter-in-law marry your brother, and you marry Rainbow Dash. Your family grew, too, over these long years. Don't forget that. She was blessed with many long years of watching others grow up and become confident and strong mares and stallions out on that farm, not the least of which includes yourself. You, me and all of our friends helped save Equestria a dozen times. Do you think your grandmother isn't proud of that? Or your parents, for that matter?”

Applejack smiled a bit. “Yeah, I know. I ain't forgettin' that. It's jus' that . . . I've grown so accustomed to things being traditional. Another day, another tree to buck. Day in and day out, I've grown accustomed to a fixed routine, but lately . . .” Applejack eyed the line of students ahead of her with as she wore a bittersweet expression. During that time they waited for their turn to be announced by Spike. After that, the for Vice Principal Sunburst floated them their Diploma wrapped in a golden aura then give them a proud hoof shake. “. . . I've been' seein' everythin' change around me, and lately it's been making me feel old.”

Applejack looked at Rarity. “At one time we used to be the Elements that everypony in Equestria looked up to, but now our own students are taking on that role. Doesn't any part of you feel sorta . . . ya know . . . replaced?”

“Well, perhaps a bit,” Rarity admitted as her eyes shifted from Applejack to the students ahead of her, “but it wasn't as if we could assume that role indefinitely. There is only so long we can hold the torch of hope, Applejack. Plus,” a fond grin grew on Rarity's lips as she regarded the students, “I can't help but remember the fact that we made this happen! We were the ones who took these students and showed them there is a better way.” Rarity's eyes shifted back to Applejack with a beaming look of pride in them. “As the Elements of Harmony, don't you feel it is our duty to ensure peace, harmony, and prosperity, not to mention fabulousness, for the next generation? These students will carry the torch after us and preserve our efforts to make this a better world. Isn't it a relief to know that the world will remain a better place once we leave this world? What more could one ask of any mortal hero?”

“I s'pose you're right,” Applejack admitted as she looked down and to her left, towards, but not directly at, Rarity. “It's also a relief to get back to basics. Honestly, I love the smell of apples in the mornin' and I love bucking them trees in order to collect them. I love working with Apple Bloom as she helps me to collect them, much as I used to do with mah folks. The cycle goes on, I reckon. The seeds of the last tree plants the next.”

“Exactly,” Rarity agreed as she turned her head to look at Applejack fully with low-hanging eyelids and a small, knowing smile lighting her lips. “Change is inevitable, darling. Like the seasons or fashion trends, things keep changing. Change is important, and we must learn to adapt to it. Be as a willow in the wind!” She leaned her head back over the edge of the chair and raised a hoof to her forehead dramatically with that last sentence.

“But don't ya miss it? The good old days?” Applejack checked as she regarded Rarity curiously.

“Yes of course, darling,” Rarity confirmed as she straightened her head again and lowered her hoof from her forehead. “I'll always cherish the memories we made together, but that won't stop me from enjoying the new changes as well. When Spike moved back to Canterlot, I had to make a lot of adjustments to my own personal life.”

Rarity gazed down a bit with a little look of guilt in her eyes. “I probably took him for granted. I never noticed how useful he had been to me over these years or how much I had grown to depend on him until he started getting busy with Gabby the griffon.” She looked back at Applejack. “In a way, though, that was a blessing in disguise. That lesson helped prepare me for Spike moving away to Canterlot. I've made some adjustments to my personal life and things have been going better than ever, ever since. Not specifically because Spike is no longer here with me, but because of the other changes and expansions I've made in my life. Life has to move forward, darling, not backwards.

“You and Dash, for example. I take it you haven't gotten cold hooves about that or spent any minute regretting that choice?”

“Not a single minute!” Applejack assured firmly.

“Well, there you go!” Rarity cheered with a flourishing gesture to Applejack.

“Speaking of which,” Applejack grinned at Rarity coyly, “you remember that song Spike made for you a few years back on Hearth's Warming Eve? You know he had a crush on you, right?”

Rarity smiled very softly at her friend as she said, “Some things don't need to be said.”

Applejack tilted her head slightly as she said with a bit of concern, “I was just worried you were jus' try'n to string 'im along so you could get free labor from 'im.”

“I did no such thing!” Rarity objected, appalled by the accusation. “Spike made it abundantly clear to me that he didn't mind the work. He wanted to spend time with me just so he could be with me. I was being generous by giving him what he wanted. Well,” she rolled her eyes, “perhaps not all that he wanted, but I had to be generous to my own feelings, too. To me, he'll always be my Spiky-Wikey.”

From the podium up ahead, Spike flashed Rarity a fond, loving smile, likely because of what he overheard,at least partially, what Rarity said, even while he continued his duty to read off the list of approaching students. Rarity matched his expression while also gave him a, “You go on,” dismissive gesture with a white hoof. In response, Spike looked forward again and resumed reading from his long scroll of names.

After noticing that Spike might be able to overhear their conversation and potentially carefully paying attention since his name came up, Applejack decided it was wise to change subjects. She didn't want to get caught in anything too personal, after all.

Besides, there was one other thing that she had been wondering. Applejack leaned back in her seat again as she looked forward. “Actually, I've been wonderin' . . . now that you've been gone from Ponyville so much, who are you going to leave in charge of your boutique here?”

“Well, regardless of how many other shops I open, I always regarded Ponyville as my home base,” Rarity announced. “But you have a point that I've been gone from it for so long, and I have given that some thought. Many years ago I was kind of thinking, and even hoping, that my sister Sweetie Belle would succeed me and take over the shop, but she has enough on her plate with the Cutie Mark Crusaders. I started to think that I might just hire somepony to manage the shop in my ever more frequent absence from it, but for some reason that didn't feel right to me. As an artist, I've always paid careful attention to my feelings, and my boutique in Ponyville has always been my home and, therefore, it has always been close to my heart. Leaving some nameless pony in charge just didn't feel right, but lately I've seen another that's beginning to show growing interest in it.” Rarity regarded someone out in the crowd, but Applejack couldn't tell whom yet. “Believe it or not, I was thinking of leaving the shop in the capable hooves of Yona.”

“YONA!” Applejack exclaimed in shock. “But . . . Rarity . . . smashing things has always been a staple in her culture.”

“Precisely!” Rarity agreed while passing a wise look back at Applejack.

“Now I'm really confused,” Applejack admitted with an expression to match.

“Smashing things is part of Yona's culture, but Yona herself has evolved into something so much more. It's not to say that her race's way is anything bad, necessarily, but Yona herself has taken that aspect of her culture and added to it with everything she willingly chose to learn here, and darling . . . she has expressed a deep-seated interest in fashion. She says she wants to learn everything she can, and maybe pass them along to her herd and make them even more 'best' at everything. I see no reason to impinge upon her noble ambitions. Frankly, I find it quite admirable, and I intend to do everything I can to support her dream. Honestly, if she were a pony, I think she might have found her cutie mark with this business.”

“If you say so,” Applejack accepted a bit nervously, then she gave a fond grin. “I guess it's true that she and her friends have changed a lot under our guidance. If that potential can seed her interest to flower in something like your boutique, then my hat's off to 'er.”

“See?” Rarity's eyes fluttered at Applejack. “Everything is going to work out. You'll see.”

“I guess,” Applejack accepted a bit emptily. “I 'spose I don't mind embracing new changes too much. Inviting Dash into my life is specifically a part of that. It's just that . . . I wish it didn't have to feel like the price of accepting these new blessings is to let the old blessings go.”

Rarity sighed as she glanced down. “Believe me, I know how you feel. It's been hard on me too, sometimes.” Her eyes shifted towards the line of students ahead of her while keeping the direction of her head down a bit. “I think that every creature knows that feeling at some point in their lives. If it's any consolation,” Rarity looked back at Applejack, “you're not the only one to feel this way.”

“Yeah.” Applejack smiled softly a bit. “I guess that does make me feel a little better. More validated.”

Rarity reached to her right with her right forehoof and patted Applejack's rear left thigh as she advised, “How about we just sit here and watch the rest of the ceremony, darling? You don't want this day to be another regret of yours by simply recalling the fact you spoke all the way through it.”

“Yeah.” Applejack grew a look of acceptance. “You're right. The youngins put a lot of effort into this day. The least I can do is pay attention.”

And so they did, along with Rainbow Dash when she eventually joined the rest of her friends.

Comments

[The Red Parade]

Heyo. I am by no means qualified nor extremely experienced, so feel free to take everything I say with a grain of salt. Here are my thoughts:

Overall, I think it's a pretty solid work. I'm not a professional editor, so I'm pretty sure I didn't catch everything, but I noted the errors I found and the rough location of them. I'll go over some of my thoughts first.

I think the pacing of the story is something you might want to look at. Right at the opening, you describe in pretty good detail a flock of geese flying around, but the story really isn't about them. Be mindful of this, because do you want the reader to spend a good portion of the story picturing a flock of birds or picturing the ceremony itself?

There also seems to be a fair bit of repetition. I understand wanting to go into detail, but keep in mind that not everything is going to need a bunch of details. Using the opening paragraph as an example, would it suffice to say something like "A flock of geese flew over Ponyville in a loose, ball like formation. As they desended, they almost hit two ponies walking down the main road" instead of using a big paragraph? Granted, if you're using this to set up the scene its understandable, but given the scene shifts pretty quickly to the graduation I'm not sure if this is the right move.

On another note, your sentence structure seems a bit odd. I had a few sentences stick out to me, for example this one: "A certain area behind the stage and to the left, if facing towards the stage, flashed red for a few seconds." Grammatically, this is correct, but it seems to be a bit lengthy and has a lot of detail for something that, overall, doesn't add all that much to the plot. I get that you're trying to get the reader to picture exactly where Starlight is referring to, but the level of description seems more fitting when someone is actually giving directions in dialogue. "To the left of the stage" would work, since it's already implied that they're facing the stage.

I think you'd benefit from looking at a few longer sentences and see if you can break them up into smaller pieces. This might help with the flow of the story as well. Also, you use a lot of modifiers in your story, like italicized text, bold text, or '-ly' words. Bold text can be conveyed just by saying the character 'shouted' something, and italics can be conveyed by saying the character 'stressed the word.' Bold text and italic text is also pretty subtle, so if you do things like italicize half a word it might go unoticed. And with '-ly- words the general consensus is to use as few of these as possible as often times they're just not needed.

Applejacks' accent is fairly inconsistent throughout the story. For example there's a few times where she drops her g's in '-ing' words but a few times where she doesn't. It only happens a few times and should be pretty easy to fix.

Oh, and I don't know if you know this, but if you want to do a scene change or time skip, you can use a line break by either typing the command [ br ] without the spaces or by pressing the line button on the text editor (next to the numbers option and the link option). It looks like this:

---

Anyways, that's all I've got. If something I said doesn't make sense or if you have any questions feel free to ask for clarification, and keep in mind this is your story, not mine, and this feedback is just one idiot's opinion.

Deuces.

Typos/grammatical notes:

- temperature is said twice, paragraph one
- the phrase 'and that have' doesn't make sense, you don't need the 'and' here, paragraph five
- comma should be after 'fun,' not 'but,' paragraph six
- for a song title, you typically want to pick one form of punctuation: either have the text italicized, in quotations, or very rarely underlined. Italics are more 'correct' in formal writing but quotations are acceptable in casual writing (I think). Point being having the text italicized, quoted, and underlined is kind of overkill, first paragraph after the break
- Applejack is only talking to Starlight here, so 'y'all' might not be the right word as that implies she's apologizing to more than one pony.
- 'grew small' is kind of a contradiction, maybe use the word 'shrunk' here instead? Fourth paragraph after the break
- On the subject of ellipses (the '...'): use these sparingly, putting in too many breaks up the story for the reader. That was something pointed out to me awhile ago
- missing a space after Starlight's line, eighth paragraph after the break
- Stating that Rainbow pulled her wing away from her face while saluting is a bit redundant, because by definition that's what a salute is, thirteenth paragraph after the break.
- when you say 'certain things could have gone better during this ceremony,' that makes think that a lot has already gone wrong. But we don't know what happened before AJ and RD showed up, so this seems strange to me. 16th paragraph after the break
- I think you can get rid of the phrase 'minus Rainbow Dash and herself' because saying the 'other faculty' are there implies she's not referring to herself or Rainbow, fourteenth paragraph after the break
- the phrase 'next to Rarity's right' confuses me. I think just saying 'on her right' suffices, fourteenth paragraph after the break
- You've started the first sentence of three paragraphs in a row with 'Applejack.' You might want to change this for variation, thirteenth fourteenth and fifteenth paragraph
- You start to repeat yourself a bit with Rarity here. First you tell us that she is a fashionista in two different ways, then you show us that she's a fashionista with an eye for detail.
- the 'are' in the phrase 'the first students are graduating from the school" is missing something. Maybe add a 'who' in front of the 'are' or a 'that'
- 'me and Rainbow Dash' should be 'Rainbow Dash and I.'
- 'griffin' should be 'griffon' in the line where Rarity talks about Gabby