A guy's quiet life is suddenly turned upside down when six colorful ponies crash into his life, literally. How will he handle it when these ponies, start turning into humans? Can he hide them? Can he help them?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Yeah, its a little distracting.
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You think so? Hm, then I would consider removing it, but then I would need to reorganize the chapter. At any rate, thank you for your input, it is important.
huh. so...….. rainbow was the one who knocked out the poor guy...…….. typical.
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She meant well.
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yeah but still. i'm jest glad it wasn't AJ who did it. she would of killed him.
10029424
Oh! Well thank you.
Did you find the colors distracting?
10029449
It's fine, thank you for your input.
Well on one hand, yes the colored text can be(not to me though ) a bit distracting, on the other hand, it helps to know who's talking so yeah, that's my opinion. I say keep it, but that's just me
Excellent chapter!!
Liked the chapter. The colored text is eh. doesnt really bother me much. however, i would cut it in your position.
Then again, im not.
Well it looks like they took it with stride, nip that problem in the butt early.
So far, I'm liking the pacing quite a bit and in going to love where this goes.
As far as the colored text goes, I'm honestly 50-50 on it so my opinion won't matter on the subject, I like the touch of it because you know who's speaking right on the dime, but at the same time feels a wee bit off.
Whatever you choose to do on that, will keep enjoying the story no matter what.
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Those are some good points, it does seem I would need to remove them, think maybe also that's why I get dislikes, maybe. Not that it matter that much, but In the next chapter I will try no color, so you can tell me if that's better and less distracting. Thank you for your input.
The color text with how the chapter is written is useful. The problem is currently that if you took the color out we would not have context who is speaking as it seems you are forgoing short phrases such as “twilight says” or “rainbow exclaims”. So if you want to avoid two chapters of clean up keep the colors however i would consider making raritys text color something more distinctive as her purple is just shy of the same shade of twilights. Perhaps think on having rainbows color be changed to red or green and then have rarity shift over to a blue.
hahahaha. i was right.
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That is some very great points. Well, if I am to remove the colors I would reorganize the chapter so it would be understandable. Which is why the next chapters has no colors. So if you find the next chapter is better and works without color, I would be happy to know. Thank you for your input.
10029312
ah, but this wasn't her typical "punch now, punch later, punch some more and ask questions never" reaction. she was genuinely concerned about a large creature she had never seen before approaching her best friend. she was expressing her loyalty.
I don't think the colored speech is to much, it's nice to see who of the main 6 is talking.
This was a awesome first meetings the main six, I like the color text let's me know who is who.
She has blue eyes
This needs to be yellow
Well that's a fine way to say hello. Knock out the guy on your first encounter!
"Get's", with an apostrophe? Er, no. An apostrophe makes it mean something completely different.
An apostrophe is often used to join two words together, like "he" and "is" into "he's". So "get's" would mean "get is", which makes no sense.
Really, you should just not use apostrophes unless you explicitly want to join words together. "Is", "will", and "not" are three of the only words that can be shortened by an apostrophe ("he's", "they'll", "can't"), so unless you are using those, do not use apostrophes.
Prize. "Price" is what something costs; for example, "the price of the groceries was $54".
I've only seen 2 authors use colored speech for the elements, you and the author of 7 humans in equestria.
Honestly, it's a pretty cool use of the colored speech option
> I told them about the show, what I knew of it, what it was in our world and what it was being seen as.
You just skipped over one of the most important things in the chapter. And then spend a long time reacting to it? What is it precisely they're reacting to - how did he present it to them?
Also, he knows about parallel words with freaky relationships. Like, if I were to have this happen to me, the first thing I'd think is 'Apparently having human equivalents like in EQG isn't the only possible connection between worlds. Looks like reality in one world being reflected as fiction in the other is a possibility too'. And that would likely be much less disturbing.