The Ardman Files

by The_Pariah

A Stolen Lyra: Chapter Three

Chapter Three

I was sitting outside Harp's house, wondering where I was supposed to go next, when suddenly a pink blur zoomed past me. I blinked several times, my gaze following the blur's path. My head snapped back to the front, only to find a pink earth pony hanging upside-down in front of me. "How are you-"

"Ohmygosh, you're new here! What's your name? Oh, I have to throw a party for you and-" Well she actually kept talking after that, but I zoned out. Once I realised she had stopped talking to me, I started paying attention to her again. "Did you just stop listening to me?"

"What? No, no of course not."

"But it says you did, just up there," she said, pointing at something in the air behind my head. "Anyways, I'm Pinkie Pie. What's your name?"

"I'm Ardman, private detective."

"Wow, a private detective! That must be fun. Did you say your name was Ardman? I think Twilight has mentioned you. Do you know Twilight?"

I seriously don't know how she managed to say so much in such a short space of time. "Yes, I know Twilight. You're friends with her?"

"Yeah! We're the bestest friends, and we’re both Elements of Harmony!"

"You're an Element of Harmony?" I said, trying my hardest to keep the skepticism out of my voice.

"Yeah, I'm the Element of Laughter."

"Riiiiight. Hey, actually, could you tell me where I can find Vinyl Scratch?"

"Vinyl? Oh yeah, she lives just down there. I'll see you at the party, it'll be later tonight at Sugarcube Corner. Don't miss it!" she said, and then she just vanished. No joke, she just disappeared.

Shaking my head I turned, only to run straight into the very pony I had been about to visit. "Vinyl? Oh perfect, I was just- what's wrong?"

She looked up at me, tears emerging from underneath her opaque sunglasses and streaming down her face. "They took Tavi! They took her!"

"Wait, what?"

"They took Octavia, you stupid pony!" she shouted at me, her voice filled with fear.

"Slow down. Who took her?" I asked, ignoring her snipe at my intelligence.

"Who do you think? Whoever took Lyra!"

"Right, come on, have a seat over here." I directed her over to the nearby bench. She collapsed onto it, sobs wracking her body. I opened my mouth to question her further when a hoof connected with my cheek. I turned to face my assailant, a cyan pegasus with a rainbow mane, as I tried to rub the pain away.

Rolling my jaw, I raised an eyebrow. "What was that for?"

She glared at me. "You made Vinyl cry."

"No, I didn't. She's crying because Octavia has been kidnapped." I faced Vinyl again. "Speaking of which, how do you know that?"

A note floated out, suspended in her magic. It flipped through the air and wobbled uncertainly before I caught it. Apprehensively, I unfolded it.

Dear Ardman,

I hope this letter reaches you.

I have 'acquired' a new friend - her name is Octavia.

I have no quarrel with you, nor with Miss Scratch. However, if she does not cancel her contract with you, I'll send you Octavia's head in a box.

Have a nice day.

The note fluttered to the ground. "Ardman, are you all right?" Vinyl asked, looking at me nervously.

"No, I'm not all right." My voice was low and dangerous. "In my four and a half years of work, only twice has my client been kidnapped. In both of those cases, the pony responsible thought to make similar claims. Neither of those criminals made it out alive." I rose to my hooves. "I think it best if you cancel your contract with me."

"What?! But what about Octavia? And Lyra?"

"Don't worry, I'll still look into this case; I will find Lyra and Octavia. Consider it a personal favor."

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Lyra came around once again, and quickly discovered she no longer had a gag. She went to scream, but a hoof forced its way into her mouth.

"I wouldn't bother, there's nopony around for miles. It seems your friends thought to hire a private detective, one of the best actually. However, I threw him off the scent and just in case..." The pony stepped to the side, revealing a trussed-up and unconscious Octavia. "She is my insurance. One sniff that Ardman has attempted to find you, and she dies."

Lyra could finally see her captor, a dark orange unicorn with an almost golden mane. "Hey, don't I know you?" she managed to gasp out once the hoof was removed.

"Obviously - I'm getting my revenge on you," he said sarcastically, before turning and leaving the room.

Lyra screamed insults that would've made Nightmare Moon pause for thought, but he didn't return.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

It had taken only a few minutes to reach Vinyl's house, and in that time I hadn't learnt much. Vinyl was still too distraught to tell me anything, and the pegasus, whose name I had discovered was Rainbow Dash, was still suspicious of me.

Vinyl opened the front door and stepped inside. The hall was spartan, its only decoration a single wall-mounted photo of Octavia and Vinyl smiling at the camera. The passage continued forward, with only two doorways breaking the clean white walls of the hallway. Through the first could be seen a room that was organized chaos. The second was a lounge room dominated by a large white couch. Looking at Vinyl, I indicated the first room. "Your study?"

She nodded. "Yeah."

"Vinyl, what happened?"

"I came home, walked into the kitchen and found this note on the table, beside Tavi's bow-tie."

"Show me."

As we walked into the kitchen, I noticed small signs of disturbance - a scuff mark here, cracked plaster there. The average pony might ignore these, but an extremely neat pony such as Octavia seemed to be would've dealt with them immediately. "So Vinyl, how long have you and Octavia been dating?"

"I'm sorry, what?" she scoffed.

"Come now, you think I didn't notice? When you first visited me, you shared a loving look as you left. You have a cute nickname for her, and most importantly there's only one bedroom in this house."

"How did you know there’s only one bedroom?"

"First, this is a medium-sized house, which means six or seven rooms. That means, minus this kitchen, the two rooms we've already passed, the fact that you have to have a bathroom and laundry and Octavia's study, there's only one room left. And most importantly, you just asked how I knew there was only one bedroom."

"I don't know what you're talking about," she said nervously.

"Mhm. Where's Octavia's study?"

"Down the hall on the left," she replied, gesturing in the general direction. I nodded my thanks and approached the door gingerly. The room beyond was a mess - the desk lay on its side; on the floor lay a shattered cello, the broken edges covered in blood; paper was everywhere and several hard-covered books had been scattered around the floor. Finally, the wall had a massive hole in it, through which I assumed the interloper had entered.

In my mind’s eye, I could see the scene unfold around me.

The room is lit by a few sparse candles, the blinds drawn. She’s practising in secret, probably for Vinyl.

The wall explodes inwards, and the interloper appears, wreathed in the midday sun. I assume he says something dramatic.

Octavia throws her cello at him in an attempt to stop him. It fails, as he catches it before smashing it over her head. She collapses, and he drags her off, messing the room up to give the impression of a struggle.

I stepped inside, careful not to disturb anything. "Vinyl, get in here."

"What do you- woah." She stared open-mouthed at the scene.

"Call the guards. Get them to analyse this blood. It's going to be Octavia's but I'd like to be sure. And don't mention the note." I spun and left the room.

"What? Why?"

"I have to keep a low profile. If the kidnapper gets even a whiff that I’m still on the case, he'll kill Octavia." I trotted up to Rainbow. "I don't know much about who you are, but you seem trustworthy. You're not to let her out of your sight. All right, I'm off."

As I left Vinyl's house I sighed and looked at the sun, which had dropped considerably. "Almost time for that party. I have a feeling I should attend. I should probably get something to eat beforehoof. I wonder if there are any good restaurants around here..."