In Odd We Trust

by marmalado

The Captures

Jamie Jam took off running. Her feet took her across the park, past the stares of people wondering what was happening, all while she kept her eyes open for one certain orange horse.

Certainly it wouldn't be hard, finding such a brightly-colored animal in a park that was filled with greens and browns...right?

After running for quite some time, Jamie stopped to catch her breath.

Shit...this isn't working. I need a different approach.

Twilight had tasked me with Applejack...who loves apples. So perhaps some jam would liven things up.

Smirking, she unscrewed the plaid cap on her left glove and extended it out towards a nearby tree. The spot where the cap was began to glow a bright purple before jam shot out and covered the entire tree in it.

She was delighted with her work, and let loose an evil laugh as she got to work unscrewing the cap on her other glove.

"Now y'all stop right there!"

Jamie turned, only to come face-to-face with an orange pony wearing a stetson hat, with her hair and tail tied up. She was surprised by her appearance, and raised an eyebrow. "Agent...Applejack?"

"That's m' name." The pony tipped her hat.

Who the hell names... Jamie shook her head. Ugh, shut up, I don't have time for this!

"Well. You look like you're in a bit of a jam, aren't you?" Jamie snickered. "Having to face me and all."

This pun only received an unamused snort from Applejack, which Jamie met right back with a scoff. "Mm. Anyway, if you're not in a jam...then I'm happy to put you into one." Her gloves began to warm up, each of them eliciting a purple glow before shooting jam at her opponent.

Unfortunately for her, she hadn't counted on Applejack being so agile, as the orange Earth pony quickly dodged the attack without breaking a sweat.

Jamie growled. Oh, fuck me! Now I have to use strategy?! Against one stupid horse?! She couldn't help but let out a scream of frustration as she fired up her gloves again and shot out another round of jam, which Applejack once again dodged.

This act went on for quite some time, with Jamie continuing to fire jam at Applejack while the farmer dodged effortlessly. For her, it was quite the fun game. For Jamie, it just served as more fuel for the fire that was her anger.

At some point, her brain discarded any and all sense of rationality. She lunged for the pony and pinned her down to the ground using one hand while firing up the glove on her other hand.

"Finally...I finally got you..."

"Aw, shucks. Gotta say, ya took me by surprise there." Applejack chuckled. "Ya got my respect, Jamie Jam. Hit me with everythin' ya got."

A squelching sound was heard, and everything fell silent.

---

The Stitcher wandered about her section of the park as she began to look for the pony she had been tasked with. Exhaling, she retrieved her notebook from her hammerspace spine and began flipping through it.

Such a shame I never used this to record Odd Squad agents... Every entry in the notebook featured a villain whom had been a client of hers, listing their measurements, personal information, and weaknesses. But since villains were her only clientele, she had no entries on any Odd Squad agents -- which included Rarity.

Tucking the notebook away, she went back to looking, hoping that luck would come her way and she could make an easy capture with no struggle.

"Oh, yes, darling, I must say, that is a lovely shade of gray!"

Huh. That was faster than I expected.

Making her way over to Rarity, she waved. "Hello there!"

"Hm?" Rarity turned from the man she had been conversing with, who suddenly began to look panicked. "Oh! Why hello! And who might you be?"

"My name is The Stitcher. I am in charge of making all of the outfits for all of the villains around here, and-" The villainess paused as a realization hit her. "Hold on, now. Why aren't you terrified?"

"Is it not obvious?" Rarity tilted her head. "Fashion designers can always spot each other. And I am always happy to befriend another fashionista, whether she is a villain or not."

This supposedly foolish behavior -- coming from an Odd Squad agent, no less -- took Stitcher aback. She blinked a couple times. Is she insane? Just casually striking up a conversation with me? Does she even know who I am?!

Wait...perhaps...I can use this to my advantage...

"Little pony..."

"It's Agent Rarity, darling. But just Rarity will do fine."

"Rarity..." The Stitcher exhaled. "Would you like to come along with me to meet some...friends of mine? I'm sure they would love to see you."

"Would I? Why, of course. Lead the way." Rarity nodded and bowed down, as though she was a servant to a queen.

Odd...she's acting so casual about this. Perhaps she's dumber than she looks.

Stitcher smirked.

That's all I need, then.

Together, both hero and villain walked back towards the group that was expecting them, chatting about fashion and trendy styles.

---

Three teddy bear robots marched through the park. People stopped what they were doing and stared, some beginning to panic while others simply shrugged and went about their day.

Following them was one Evil Teddy, who had quite the sinister smirk on her face.

"Now remember: when you find Fluttershy, bring her here to me!" she commanded, letting loose an evil laugh as she watched her automated ambulating minions.

Fifteen minutes passed.

Evil Teddy was growing upset, and her robots still hadn't come back with her enemy.

Having stopped to rest by a tree, she had sent them to different areas of the park to try and capture Fluttershy. Unfortunately, this idea hadn't bore fruit yet, as either Fluttershy was a tricky pony to find, or all of their batteries had run dry and they had died mid-ambulation.

She closed her eyes and sighed, reaching behind her back and pulling out a small teddy bear that was nothing more than a stuffed toy. It was rather battered and torn, giving the indication that this was the plaything of a young Evil Teddy that had grown up with her, but no one really knew the story behind her and the bear.

Hugging it tight, she began to fall into slumber.

Some time later, she was awakened by the sound of one of her teddy bear robots racing towards her with a pink-and-yellow...thing in its hand. She watched as it fell, taking the thing down with it and having a hard time getting back up.

Groaning and rubbing her eyes, she stood up and walked over to the robot, noticing that the "thing" in question was none other than Agent Fluttershy, looking rather timid and scared but surprisingly making no attempt to escape.

"Ugh..." Evil Teddy shook her head in an effort to clear away the brain fog. "You found her, huh? Here, give me a paw."

She took the paw of the robot and grunted as she helped it to get back on two feet once again. Once she was sure it was okay, she made a mad grab for Fluttershy, who yelped as she was suddenly picked up.

"You." The villainess squinted. "It took my robots long enough to find you. But, I got a good nap out of the deal, so it wasn't a total loss."

She began to walk away as the other two teddy bear robots came running forth. "Come on! We're heading back!"

Meanwhile, a small smile settled on Fluttershy's maw.

---

Other villains knew Kooky as just someone who enjoyed everything kooky, but truthfully, she was much more. Kookiness was an art that was at a level far exceeding simple oddness -- it was about being eccentric and lively in addition to disrupting the balance of normalcy. Kooky had dedicated herself to it for as long as she could remember, and now, she was about to meet someone else who dabbled in the art of kookiness.

Her eyes scanned the area for any sign of the pony that she had been tasked to capture. Surely, it would be a battle of kooky versus kooky, butting heads to see who would "out-kook" the other. It was almost thrilling.

The loud sound of a cannon firing made her jump a little as she looked for the source of the sound. Off in the distance, she could spot a pink pony wheeling a rather small blue cannon in front of her, and she tilted her head.

Is that...Agent Pinkie Pie? That's my opponent?

The clown took in the appearance of the one approaching her, with her curly pink mane and tail, her bright blue eyes, and the smile that was on her maw. She was almost taken aback, expecting someone more wild and insane.

She looks...competent, for someone carrying a cannon with her. She had to wonder what the weapon was used for, anyway.

"Hiya!"

A voice shook Kooky out of her thoughts, and she looked down to find the person -- or pony, in this case -- that she had been eyeing.

"Who are you? No, no, wait, lemme guess...Chuckles! Giggles! Laughs-a-Lot! Oh, I knew a clown named Laughs-a-Lot, he was so funny!"

As the pony continued to ramble on, Kooky struggled to comprehend exactly who was conversing with her. All she knew of the pink-furred equine was what Oddlight had told her, which wasn't very much.

"I, uh..." The pony stopped talking and looked up at Kooky as she spoke. "Are you...Agent Pinkie Pie? From Odd Squad?"

"The one and only!" Pinkie giggled. "What's your name?"

"It's Kooky. Kooky the Clown. But you can just call me Kooky."

Pinkie let out a gasp. "Kooky?! Oh, that's a great name for a clown! What made ya decide on that name?"

"Well, I am a master in the art of kookiness."

"Is that like oddness?"

Kooky gave a scoff of disbelief. "No, of course not! It's more advanced. See, kookiness is all about being wacky and eccentric and random, not just making strange things happen. It is my stock-in-trade, you see."

"Ohhhhh!" Pinkie nodded. "I see! Well, in that case, you should have one of my party cannons!"

"Party...cannon?"

"Yeah! It can create a party anytime, anywhere, and all I have to do is push...this!" Pinkie rested her front hooves on top of the cannon as her forelock pressed a small purple button that rested on top of the cannon. What followed was a loud bang as streamers and confetti shot out of it, followed by a squeak.

Kooky blinked a couple times. "It...looks kooky, for sure. But this seems like something far more fitting for a partygoer. Which I'm not...really."

"You don't throw parties? Haven't you ever been invited to one?"

"Of course not, I-" Kooky stopped as something clicked in her brain.

Wait...why am I conversing with her? I'm on a mission. Everyone's waiting for me.

"Uh, say, Pinkie..." The clown fiddled with her gloves. "You wouldn't object to being taken to meet a couple...friends of mine, would you?"

Pinkie scoffed. "Of course not! It's always fun making new friends! Just lead the way, maestro!"

Kooky widened her eyes. She certainly didn't expect that kind of a response. But she certainly didn't say anything about it, and smiled. "Sure thing."

And so, the two most fun-loving creatures in town, on two opposite sides of the alliance spectrum, made their way back, the hero bouncing along willy-nilly while the villain wore a satisfied smirk on her face.

---

The crackling sounds of lightning were the only thing flooding Mr. Lightning's ears. He had his powers all charged up and ready to go, and a plan on how to defeat his enemy to boot that was sure to go perfectly well, given the circumstances.

Instead of keeping his gaze ahead of him, he turned it towards the sky, using a pair of binoculars to help him see better. A blue equine in a blue sky was rather hard to find, but he was confident that he would find her.

The only problem he had was that his enemy had agility on her side. Agility that he did not have.

After about five minutes, he realized that finding said enemy was going to be harder than he originally thought. Sighing, he lowered the binoculars and looked around for something that could put him at a higher elevation, one where it would be easier to see the sky.

Ah, a tree. That'll do, I guess.

The tree was rather tall, tall enough that it could easily pass for a Christmas tree at Rockefeller Center if it were the right kind. Conveniently enough, it also had branches that served as good leverage for him to climb up without falling back down to the ground.

Once he was at a point high enough, he used his binoculars to look for his enemy once again, although his search was yielding no results.

"Uhh...what are you doing in a tree?"

A voice snapped Mr. Lightning out of his anger-laced internal thoughts, and he looked down to find that the source of the voice was, to his shock, his enemy. One Agent Rainbow Dash.

What the hell? You gotta be kiddin' me! Why isn't she in the sky? Bitch has wings!

He promptly tucked his binoculars away behind his back and climbed down. Whatever plan he had for catching Rainbow in the sky was now rendered moot, and he certainly wasn't happy about it. He could feel the electric power in his hands die down.

"Well, I was..." Mr. Lightning tried to think of a good excuse. "I was tryin' to meet up with you!"

"Why?"

"To..." He shook his head. "Actually, ya know what? Ya wanna have a real shocking time?"

"Uh, sure, I guess." Rainbow shrugged. "What do you wanna do? Hold a race or something?"

"No, no, nothin' like that." Mr. Lightning shook his head. "I wanna take ya to meet some friends of mine. They'll get a real kick outta you. C'mon, they're waitin' at a cafe in town, I think!"

Shockingly, the Odd Squad agent didn't object, and instead, she simply shrugged once more and followed him.

As the pair began walking (or in Rainbow's case, gliding), Mr. Lightning resisted the urge to smirk. He had gotten what he wanted, and in any other instance he would be ecstatic, but something was nagging at him.

Why is that agent so nonchalant about all this? Does she know something we don't or am I just imaginin' things?

---

The five villains each returned with their assigned enemies in tow. Once everyone had come back, Twilight nodded.

"Good job, everypo- uh, everyone! I see you've all captured the agents."

"Oh? Are these your friends, darling?"

"Nice to meet you all! I'm Agent Pinkie Pie and-"

"You've gotta be kidding me."

The Stitcher, Mr. Lightning and Kooky all exchanged looks with each other as if to say, Did we really all think of the same tactic?

Twilight blinked as well, taken aback by her friends all having fallen for the same trick. Exactly how dumb are these villains? They certainly got a knock in intelligence points from the last time I encountered them on the field.

"For what it's worth..." Jamie Jam piped up. "I captured Agent Applejack with brute strength."

"And I captured Agent Fluttershy with help from my teddy bear army. Not sure what silly, stupid tactic you three came up with...but it worked." Evil Teddy gave a nonchalant shrug.

"Anyway..." Twilight clapped her hooves twice in order to get everyone's attention. "Now that we have the ponies captured, we will take them to our supervillain lair." She turned to Odd Todd. "Would you happen to know where that is?"

"Huh? Oh! Yeah, yeah, of course. Follow me, everyone!" Odd Todd made a waving motion with his hand before walking off. The other villains followed him accordingly, grabbing their targets and gripping them tight so they had no chance of escaping, much to their protest.

Mr. Lightning, however, paused before following the others. Holding Rainbow Dash under his arm, he turned and fixed Twilight with a suspicious gaze, one that chilled her to her very soul. She held her breath, thinking he was going to call her out and accuse her of being a mole.

Oh Celestia, please, no! We're so close, we can't fail now!

He took his eyes off of her and walked off.

Twilight breathed a sigh of relief. The mere few seconds that were spent with his gaze boring into her felt like centuries. She could feel her heart rate slow down, and she galloped after the others to catch up with them.

She watched as Evil Teddy and Kooky conversed amongst themselves, Pinkie and Fluttershy having ceased their protesting as they were carried. Likewise, Jamie Jam and Stitcher struck up a conversation, each of them holding Applejack and Rarity tightly by their scruffs as though they were cats. The two partners had also ceased protesting, and took the time to exchange smiles when their captors weren't looking.

All four ponies tried to smile and nod to Twilight, but she wasn't paying attention to them. Instead, she was fixated on Mr. Lightning walking alongside Odd Todd and muttering something unintelligible to him. The alicorn shifted her gaze to Rainbow Dash in the hopes that she could somehow translate what he was saying, but the Pegasus mare was unable to swivel her head to her left -- for Twilight to converse with her, she had to walk alongside her and Mr. Lightning, and after what had transpired, there was no way she was going to risk that.

Her heart rate began to quicken again, and she started to sweat. Everything that she had worked so hard to do, every piece of advice she had been given by both her friends and her fellow princesses...it was all going to amount to nothing if she was found out.

All she had to do was hope that if these villains were dumb enough to have the same exact ploy for capturing their enemies, then they would be dumb enough to not sniff her out until she and her friends exposed themselves.

But hope was a rather tricky thing, and sometimes, it doesn't work out the way one plans it to.