- Member Since 21st Apr, 2019
- offline last seen April 25th
Nuttyhoof
Pony ballbusting artist and now also a writer. Living for the comments sake, so please leave a word!
Nuttyhoof
Joined 21st Apr, 2019 ·
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I lold. Aside from the part at the end, I think you could almost get away with this as a T rated comedy.
Almost.
Too bad about all the downvotes, as this is pretty well written.
9852317
Thanks! I did wonder whether to tag this as porn or not because there isn't actually any sex in it. It's still hot to me though!
It's indeed baffling how many people come over to vote on stories that they don't even read. Straight people don't systematically downvote gay fics and vice versa, yet when it comes to ballbusting these people do go out of their way to click on topics they don't like. Not read mind you - the upvotes come much slower because those people actually take time to read before voting.
9852371
Trust me, as a grimdark writer, it happens. Just ignore it.
9852386
Thanks. I may not like grimdark stuff, but I understand that it's just not my cup of tea and appraising the quality of its stories is better left to friends of the genre.
Not sure if
or 
On one hand, it is written well. On the other hand it reads like a random, mean-spirited, mercifully short comedy with only one 'joke' in it's arsenal.
9852371
Woah. I think you're too quick to judge your audience. While unreasonable downvotes do happen, I'm not sure if this is what happened with this fic. If not for the tags and your own admission I would have no idea about this being a fic about some kind of fetish. I mean, Trixie is obviously happy to see males in pain, but hardly in a sexual way.
You're really eager to give your readers blue balls one way or another, don't you? If you gonna use 'Porn' and 'Fetish' tags, why not actually deliver on the promise?
P.S. I'm not going to downvote you, but I'm not going to upvote either. I'm (not) Batman!
The end of it was kind of dark. I like dark, but going from "Trixie discovers the Downside of the Schwartz" to "gangrape as punishment" is pretty whiplash inducing.
I liked the rest of it though, especially how Trixie figured out how to cast the Nutshot spell.
9853038
I was worried ending the story before a sex scene might disappoint people, but the peak of the story was already over and I couldn't have kept it interesting. With no more ballbusting it would have been just a plain old boring sex scene. Although if someone wants to write the ending scene they are more than welcome to do it, while I move on to write another new story about ballbusting!
9853309
I meant the ending as a "sexy punishment that's actually what the readers fantasize about", like any porn story that ends with the protagonist trapped by more pussy than they can handle. If it came out as dark, that was a big failure on my part. Is it okay with Fimfiction's rules to rewrite it when the story is already published?
9853701
It is fine to edit after publishing.
Looking at it again, I can see what you were going for, but on my first read it struck me as more "anti-hero is dragged down to the rape cave to be punished for her sins" than intended.
Don't do the crime if you can't do the time as they say.
Also, all these years later and the "Lightning bolt" meme still brings a smile to my face.
9856223
The reference was indeed intentional.