Sunset fell back into the stiff cushions of the chair beside her couch. Next to her, Wallflower was lying motionless, staring off into nothing. Her mouth would open and close periodically, her face scrunching up as it did, as if she was preparing to say something only to change her mind at the last second.
With a heavy sigh, Sunset cradled her head in her hands. This was all her fault. She had been the one to plant the seeds of self-destructive thoughts in Wallflower’s mind all those years ago. She had been the one to provoke Wallflower into turning the stone on herself by failing to calm her down. She was the one who couldn’t figure out what to do, leaving Wallflower in whatever state she was in now.
Frowning, Sunset turned her gaze to the floor. Even her friends knew it was her fault. They just wouldn’t admit it because they felt guilty about forgetting her.
Beside her, Wallflower shifted a little. Slowly, slowly, she craned her neck back to look at Sunset. Her soft brown eyes stared upside-down, and try as she might, Sunset couldn’t begin to guess what thoughts were going on behind them.
Wallflower took a deep breath. “S-Sunnset?” Even the single word was drawn-out and slow, almost as if it was too heavy for Wallflower’s tongue to form.
“Everything okay, Wallflower?” Sunset asked. Her facade of calmness pulled at her lips, forcing her mouth into a strained smile.
“Whh-allflower...” A single blink. “Th-that’s me?”
“Yes,” Sunset said. “That’s right. You’re Wallflower.”
Only a short depth beneath her measured voice, Sunset was shrieking at herself internally. How could she have let this happen? Wallflower had lost everything, but she’d gotten everything back, too. Sunset had watched while every memory that escaped from the shattered memory stone streamed back into Wallflower’s head. So why was she like this? Why hadn’t it been enough?
Sunset suppressed a shiver, a bitter thought lingering on the fringes of her mind. She had made Wallflower hate herself so much—hate living so much—that she tried to erase herself from existence. Then, in Sunset’s continued selfishness, she expected Wallflower to just willingly return to the life she’d tried to end? She had wiped her own mind for a reason. So long as that reason still existed, she would never want to come back.
“S-S-Sunset?” Wallflower’s breathless voice spoke up beside Sunset.
“What is it?”
Wallflower’s face wrinkled, like she had smelled something foul. “Are... Are y-you—” She paused, inhaling once more. “...M-m-mad at me?”
“What?” Sunset sat upright. “Of course not. Why would you think that?”
Wallflower blinked at her. “I-I dhh-on’t... Hee... Hhhah-hmm ahh hahh...” Her words twisted into a dry, broken laugh, and in an instant, Wallflower’s expression flipped into an almost-brazen grin. Her shaky smile only widened the pit in Sunset’s stomach. “I don’t r-r-remember.”
Sunset’s heart skipped several beats. “Well, uhm...” She averted her eyes from Wallflower’s gaze. “What do you remember?”
Several seconds passed in silence. Sunset shifted, biting her lip as she awaited Wallflower’s response with mounting trepidation. When Wallflower did finally speak, her voice was as slurred and shallow as ever.
“It w-was, uhhh, d-dark. Dhhh—” She paused, inhaling softly as she stared at the ceiling. “D-darker th-than dark,” she said. She glanced back at Sunset. “It was n-n-nice.”
“And, uhm...” Sunset kept doing her best to avoid eye contact, even as a mess of concern and anxiousness pulsed in her veins. “Do you remember anything before that?”
“Not me, n-no,” Wallflower said. “S-sorry.” Her face fell into a dull frown that reminded Sunset of the last look Wallflower had given her from within the blue glow of the memory stone.
Doing her absolute best to suppress her own urges to cry, Sunset took a series of long, heavy breaths before responding. “It’s okay,” she said. “I’m not mad at you, I promise.” She lowered her head, sighing. “If anything, I’m mad at myself.”
Wallflower struggled to sit up, only making it about halfway before falling back to the couch. She spoke without missing a beat. “Whhh-why?” she asked.
“Because this is my fault!” Sunset shouted, only to wince with guilt when her sudden outburst made Wallflower flinch. “I-I’m sorry, it’s not... It’s not because of anything you did, Wallflower.”
Wallflower held her gaze, unblinking. Her lips curved down into a bitter frown. “Y-yes it is,” she said.
“Wait, huh?” Sunset sat up straight. “Do you remember what happened with the memory stone? What you did with it?”
Seamlessly, Wallflower shifted back from a frown to a blank stare. “The wh-what?” Her pupils widened, and Sunset could see her entire body tensing up. “The eye.”
“Yes, the stone with the eye!” Sunset said. “Do you remember? You had it and—and you used it on my friends, remember? Then you—”
“Th-then it was dark.” Wallflower interrupted her. “B-bright, then d-d-dark.” She blinked, frowning again. “Darker.”
Sunset held her breath. Somewhere, somewhere in Wallflower’s fragmented mind, her memories still existed—at least her memories of the moments leading up to erasing her mind. Maybe there was some way Sunset could help her piece things back together. Maybe she could still fix this. She could still fix this. It would be simple—easy, even. All she had to do was find some way to put Wallflower’s thoughts back in order, and it would be like nothing ever happened at all. If she did that, maybe it would be enough for Wallflower’s other memories to fall into place as well.
“S-Sunset?”
The curtains of her hopeful reverie were pulled aside. “Oh, uhm... Yeah? What is it?”
Wallflower looked through her. “Wh-where are you...?”
“What?” Sunset shifted in her seat. “What do you mean? I’m right here.”
“N-no you’re not,” Wallflower said. Still, she seemed to gaze past Sunset, facing her but not really looking at her. “I c-c-can’t see you.”
Beads of sweat decorated Sunset’s brow, matting her bangs to her forehead. She positioned herself directly in front of Wallflower. “Wallflower?” She spoke as clearly as she could. “Tell me what you see, okay?”
“Hhnnnnnmmmhhhhh...” Groaning, Wallflower shut her eyes, pushing herself away from the couch cushions. “Stoh-hp it...!”
“W-Wallflower? What’s wrong?” A frenzy of confusion and fear descended on Sunset’s mind. “Tell me what’s wrong, I can h-help you!”
All at once, Wallflower went silent. She knelt on the couch, turning to face the wall behind it. Even at an angle, Sunset could see the depth of her sudden scowl.
“No y-you can’t.”
Before Sunset could even respond, Wallflower reared her head back and smashed it into the wall, her horrid scream echoing in the tiny space of Sunset’s apartment.
“Wallflower!” Sunset shot up, immediately grabbing Wallflower by the waist. “S-stop it! What are you—?”
“Rrrrhhhhhh-aaaagghhh!” Wallflower struggled in Sunset’s grasp, twisting and fighting. Sunset could barely see through Wallflower’s tangled hair, but even still she held on as tight as she could, pulling Wallflower backwards.
“Get away f-from her!” Wallflower thrashed wildly, clawing desperately forward at some invisible threat. Sunset at last managed to get her off the couch, and the two of them tumbled to the floor. Wallflower fell silent the second they hit the ground, and as Sunset scrambled out from beneath her, she saw Wallflower’s face had fallen back into an empty, aimless stare.
“Wallflower, wh-why did you do that?” Sunset couldn’t stop herself from screaming as well. She brushed aside the tangled green hair on Wallflower’s forehead, revealing—to her relief—only a small bruise.
Wallflower didn’t so much as glance Sunset’s way, and when she spoke, it was in the softest of whispers. “Wh-why are y-y-you so mean?”
“Wh-wha... I...” Sunset couldn’t even formulate a thought, let alone a response. She collapsed against bottom of the couch, barely sitting up as she leaned her head back over the cushion. Neither she nor Wallflower spoke, the latter still staring at the ceiling with expressionless, half-lidded eyes. With a heavy sigh, Sunset pulled her legs in, resting her head on her knees.
This wasn’t going to be easy. It wasn’t going to be simple. It might not even be possible. Sunset’s actions had led Wallflower to try to end herself, and there would be no painless way of undoing the damage Sunset had done to her.
Beside her, Wallflower kept gazing away into nothingness, maintaining her blank stare without so much as a twitch. Sunset could only watch her, tears escaping down her cheeks as she finally sank beneath the waves of her guilt.
So, she got her memories back, but they're shattered and fragmented, because she ripped everything out? Oh crap…
I'm so confused. Is Wallflower suffering from some kind of multiple personality disorder? I'll just have to wait and see...
Oh, and if you end up making a third story with Wallflower trying to bash her head in, I'm telling.
...I have no idea where I was going with that last bit.
Jesus, that scared the hell out of me.
It seems like some part of Wallflower still exists that wants to end her life. Without the other parts of her consciousness, Wallflower is far less restrained in wanting to do herself in.
Yeeeah this isn't going to be that easy, is it. And jeez Wallflower what is it with you and banging your head into—wait, I get it. I guess what I'm really appreciating at this point in the story, as with other stories of yours, is that I really don't know what's going to happen at this point, looking forward. Will Wallflower recover more "fully"? Will she be stuck in a state like this? Is Sunset going to force herself to try to help Wallflower all by herself, since she thinks this whole thing is her fault? I look forward to finding out.
Hooooooooooh, heck! You've got me at the edge of my seat right now. There's a clear distinction between characters, and knowing that any of them is capable of exerting their influence at seemingly any time is ooooooooh I can't wait for the next one.
Quite the gripping chapter here. Sunset realizes things aren't going to be easy, but not even really knowing what's going on is going to make it even worse. From a few particular bits of word choice, and the last chapter, it seems like Wallflower's personality/psyche are split into pieces, and not all of them know everything, or have good intentions in regards to Sunset.
This is really interesting. I have no idea where this is going but I'm loving every second of it.
Also what's with wallflower's fetish for bashing her head against walls?9774207
C'mon, don't kink-shame her.
Oof, this is terrifying. In a good way! Sunset's sure got her hands full on this one...
This fic is really good!!
So many bashing head things.. Is this a cry for help? Scampy? U good mate?
I too am worried for you. I have written things to get my own demons out of me. If you need someone to talk to, I am always willing to. if you would prefer I will respond via DM/PM as well, and if you would rather I can talk via email or whatever you feel comfortable with. If you don't feel comfortable with talking then just know I am still here for you. I understand.
The story was wonderful again, well wonderfully written. The content is very much so not wonderful but still beautiful. I hope that you continue to write, even if it isn't this.
Oh dear. Multiple Wallflowers should be fun.
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Cue Dr. Gaster's Theme Song
Oh shit. Did not expect the head-bashing, nor the dissociation. Does Wallflower have DID now? I'll admit I don't know too much about DID (I had a high school mental health teacher who made us watch Sybil, so that and the subsequent Googling is most of what I know), but, from my understanding it's caused by massive amounts of trauma. Though it's usually rooted to childhood traumas (often abuse), I would imagine literally losing your sense of self and all your memories could cause it too.
If it's not DID, some other psychological issue is going on, IMO, because the other possibility I'm thinking of is that Wally is hallucinating. She snapped really quick from a somewhat calm exchange with Sunset to not seeing her and reacting violently. Even though the violence was directed against herself, the "get away from her" line makes me think it wasn't intended as an act of self-harm.
More questions than answers for sure, but that's not a bad thing at all.
Damn this is really interesting