Due to an accident, an unicorn miner finds himself in the world of Hoxxes and has to survive a hostile planet filled with aliens. Along with him are 4 dwarven companions who are veterans of the Deep Rock Galactic Corporation.
(Deep Rock Galactic + MLP Crossover)
I am going to rewrite the story as a single chapter, it will of course be much longer than 1.5k words but I feel it will remove the repetitiveness that multiple chapters would bring.
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🍻FOR KAAAAAARL!🍻
Dorf story gets dorf song.
For a first attempt, you're not doing too bad. A little telly on the exposition, but that can be worked on. The biggest issue I see is a habit of waffling back and forth betwixt past and present tense. You need to pick one and stick with it, otherwise the narrative feels very choppy.
9730525
I didn't even realize I was doing that, I'll definitely be working on it! Thank you for your input!
Rock and stone, to the bone.
ROCK AND STONE, TO THE BONE!
Didn't expect a DRG crossover to even exist, much less be good.
The only thing I found weird plot wise is that they didn't notice that the horse is in fact a unicorn.
DRG is set in a high-tech fantasy world and they have at least humans, elves and dwarves. I wonder if in your interpretation of their world unicorns exist as is or in legends, or are a full unknown?