• Member Since 8th May, 2015
  • offline last seen Mar 29th, 2023

Erie


A spark is all it takes to create a blaze.

T

On January 1st, 2020 Earth’s only sapient species were humans. One day was all it took for that to change.

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 6 )

He's (she's) not questioning the voice in her head? That seems a bit odd, but it's a good story so far.

Oh, and you use 'than' when you should be using 'then' most of the time. Other than (see what I did there?) those points, I like where this is going. Looking forward to more!

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If Sheldon could hear the voice in their head and figure out that it’s actually in their head and not imaginary, things would go wrong very fast. As it stands for now though, they have no idea that the voice is there.

And thanks for pointing that issue out, when I was checking for any grammar issues I completely forgot about then and than.

Well, that’s quite a way to start a story. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a story built on the idea that Luna was but a momentary construct, so I’m curious to see where this leads. Noticed some typos and incorrectly used punctuation which I can point out if you want, plus a few sentences were a bit rough to read. Though all in all, I’d say that the prologue flowed rather well, and its pacing and atmosphere were pretty good.

BTW, 3'3" is just under a meter (~99.06 cm) unless that was the shoulder measurement ... :facehoof:

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Huh, didn’t realize it was literally just under a meter. Got it clarified a bit now so it says it leans towards 3’4”. Thanks for pointing that out.

So Nightmare Moon's pulling a Sunset Shimmer (creating an army of people from Earth so she can overthrow Celestia), except she's actually thought it through?

Interesting.

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