- Member Since 27th Apr, 2015
- offline last seen 14 hours ago
DHeroRedMagma
The Low Budget Anthro version of Some_Leech. Now with 30% more Human trash!
DHeroRedMagma
Joined 27th Apr, 2015 ·
Offline
Sequels1
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DHeroRedMagma · 2.9k words · 195 14 · 9.8k views
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Tackling this series huh well I’ll have to check it out later
hehe, the cover image is so cute. Sonata you adorable little cherry
9652101
Yeah wanted to try something new and fresh
Hey where did you get the image from
9652131
derpibooru
9652158
What's the id number for it?
9652199
ID is either 1996058 or 1996065 (variations on similar theme).
I'm afraid you or someone else needs to go back through and proofread this. There is a severe lack of commas, some switching of tenses, and at least one typo ("groan" instead of "groin"). I'm afraid it is to the point of frustration for me, making me unable to finish it.
9652327
severe*
Are you gonna make stories for the other 2 pics?
9652573
Potentially if enough people want to see it I will
9652601
I know I do
9652327
Sorry to hear but I have gotten someone to look over it and help me edit it with better punctuation
The story has been edited so direct all your comments regarding to the grammar and punctuation to the garbage can.
Edit:Yeah I see you mr Hopeful cunt disliking this comment heck you
Congratz, you got featured.
5/30/2019
9652851 You're both being asses and children. Just calm down and talk it out without yelling. Honestly.
Besides, grammar is hardly something to go to war over.
At the same time, being so rude as to say you should direct all comments for helpful tips on grammar to the waste bin is childish.
Be calm.
9653006
Thank you timless kinda surprised I got featured for a second guess it's thanks to the support everyone is giving me for this
9652851
I hate to break it to you, but literally the first paragraph still has some grammar jankiness:
"It was" past tense, "comes to a close" present tense hmmmmmmmm
"Closes his locker" present tense, "stretching his limbs" I think like progressive tense or something?
So, like. Could've done with a bit more quality editing, y'know?
9652851
First, there is no need to be rude or insulting. I merely pointed out an issue with the story, and my feelings toward it. At no point did I say anything insulting toward the author or anyone else. Especially since you seem to be getting offended over it more than the author.
Second, I can honestly, truly, and sincerely say that I did not downvote your comment. Honestly, I saw no reason to, prior to your insulting me (and even with that, I'm not going to). It was simply a statement that the story had gone through editing. In point of fact, I was coming back to try and read it again and see how it was improved.
And don't worry to anyone else in the comments. I will leave the conversation here and keep it from becoming some big thing.
9653053
Hey. Psssst. Hey. You know what you could do if you care so much? Offer to edit it yourself. That’s something that I don’t see between you writers and the “critics” of people’s writing. No one ever offers to lend a hand to someone else. Start drawing and see how many people will give you help if you ask for it, and sometimes even without you asking for it.
9653050 You are quite welcome. I enjoy helping others.
9653684 I would offer myself if I did not have dozens of other stories to work on. Still, this anger is unbecoming. Take a deep breath and step back or something, and maybe explain?
9653135 I apologize for my assumptions, then, friend. Forgive me.
9653943
Read all the comments on all of DHero's stories. Nothing but negativity. I've been too busy drawing and working to help him. Reading all the negative comments on story after story after story while I couldn't make time to help because there just aren't enough hours in the day, is infuriating. He's been trying to get better and he's gotten better since he's started. As far as I can tell there have been zero offers to edit apart from DHero going and seeking one out, and none of them have stuck as they themselves have other duties to attend to. There are many who comment about the editing and have no writings of their own shared to this platform. I'm sick of it. If they're so good at being proper with their language and have the time to scroll through story after story, then why the hell have they not offered to help him? As far as I'm concerned, there is no excuse for people to critique for so long without offering tools to make things easier on the author or assistance. Such a thing would not fly in artist circles. That's for damn sure.
Nice to see you branching out to EQG stuff aswell, having more Dazzlings smut is always appreciated. As for the story itself, its... ok. I know your style mostly revolves around keeping things short and to the point but for me it felt a bit short and "dry" for my taste. However, i would still like to see a trilogy of this with the other 2 girls (specially after looking up the source for the cover art)
Man she didn't waste any time taking that hot rod for a ride did she.
Hollow seems pretty open-minded. I believe only Adagio can fully appreciate a three-way like that
9654016
I am unable to do so since I have my own stories to work on. However since you brought it up:
There are groups here that are made specifically for this purpose. Where writers who need editors can ask for such, and people who are willing to proof-read and edit are there to offer their services. If you put the search bar to "groups" and enter "editor," over thirty show up. The largest of them is Looking For Editors, although Magma could look through and see if any are a better fit.
Additionally, there's also the option of simply trying to post a blog asking for one and seeing if any reply. I have my doubts that it would work, but with more than two hundred followers, it would not hurt to give it a try. Worst case: no one replies. Best case: there ends up being more than one, in which case how to deal with it will have to be considered.
9653684
Yeah, that never happens. Defo didn't happen 2 me, a nice PM popping up with a suggestion or 2 on my story. Absolutely totally wasn't Rethewa who sent it. No, the facts r purely on ur side, so stick with ur angry rhetoric and ur bound 2 win sooner or l8r.
That is literally what Rethewa just did, showing where ur first 2 paragraphs r fucked up. U responded with hostility, just as u did 2 the other suggestions of it needing some improvement. Wanna take some guesses y more ppl aren't offering 2 help?
...And u censored 'fuck' into 'heck' but left 'cunt' unaltered, so, like, I don't even know what's going on with u there...
9654016 All very understandable, but the tools, based on what I see, are there already, we're just pointing out what is missed. Either way, getting mad about it will ultimately help no one, as negative comments will appear no matter what. That is the internet.
9654726 9654462 Oh no, I'm just expressing where my absolute disappointment in this community is coming from. I see the thing I missed as unfortunately, I had pulled an all nighter before editing this thing at like 3PM.
Dunno where you lads are getting the idea that I'm angry. I'm far from it. In fact, had I been angry I wouldn't have bothered responding.
9654285
Good on ya bruv. Cheers. Tell th lad that wrote this story about it next time why dontcha?
9660493
Sure. Sure. You keep that up, see where it gets ya mate. I can understand all that, trust me, I can, but this won't help. Ever. Try tackling things with less 'attacky' terms and tone, and maybe you'll see the brighter side. Hell, if you want to talk or vent, hit me up. I've got nothing but time.
I'm not here to pick fights. I'm here to break 'em up.
9652851
If you can't handle criticism, never do anything in public in our community. Ever. Writing communities are for criticism and enjoyment, together. You being inordinately hostile to people who are helping out by offering corrections just shows you are immature and not suited for such a community. No one flamed you or the story or the author. No one was rude, abrasive, or demanding. No one except you, defending something no one was attacking to begin with. People being pleasantly and politely helpful somehow triggered you, and we don't need that sort of thing here.
You are the problem. You are the absolute disappointment.
9738671
Yikes
Roll credits
"Boner garage" always make me chuckle.
You sure you're not a transgender/tranny fellow??
You're going to send him to the sex offender registry!
Wait, is Adagio the bitch or the cunt?
We get it!! You wanna be a boy!!
Student: Heeeeyyy, that's not gum!!
Date rape...
Yep, there it is! The magic spouse-snatching potion!
You mean biochemistry class, right?
We literally had to use a scalpel to cut the penile vein to drain all that rushing blood to make it go limp again!
Or just shoot its gas tank!
Well, it's the only way you'll remain slim after eating all those tacos, fatty!
That's not a hot rod! That's an elephant dick!!
.....What the hell were you looking up on the Internet porn sites, Sonata?!
She's totally gathering blackmail material...