Shifting Morals

by Leafdoggy

Chapter 5

I yawn and stretch, dropping the sheet I was using as cover to the floor. The sun hits my eyes as I pry them open. What time is it? The basement around me is coated in a soft, warm light that streams in through the window. The morning air is fresh and crisp. I consider rolling over and going back to sleep, but it’s too late for that, so I push myself up.

Something feels strange. The air is still, the room is warm, but something still isn’t right. I slump off the sofa and onto my hooves, stretching again. Why does it feel like something’s missing?

Pinkie. That’s it. She didn’t wake me up. I had assumed that would be my daily routine. I guess she decided I didn’t need a bouncy pink alarm clock today. Not that I’m complaining, I appreciate every moment of quiet I can get. I savor it for a long moment, closing my eyes and taking in the calm, but not too long. I’ve got things to do.

Walking out to the lobby of Sugarcube Corner, I’m shocked to see there are actually other ponies here. A couple are sitting and chatting at tables, and one is at the counter getting a box of donuts. Behind that counter is Pinkie Pie, bouncing in place and beaming at the ponies like old friends. I guess she really does work.

I watch her as she does her job. She tackles it with the same fervor she does everything else, hopping and skipping along with a smile on her face. She thanks the customer by name, and I wonder if she knows everybody who comes in here. I wouldn't put it past her.

After the pony at the counter leaves, Pinkie spots me and waves enthusiastically. “Strawberry! Good morning!” she says, loud enough for everyone in the building to hear. “Come over here!”

All the ponies in the building are looking at me now as I walk over. It’s extremely uncomfortable, and makes me look away. “Morning, Pinkie,” I half-mumble as I reach her. “I was surprised you let me sleep in.”

“Yeah, I gotta work,” she says. She pouts and leans on the counter, resting her head on her hooves. “I’m not gonna be able to hang out this morning.”

“Well, would you like me to stay and help?” I ask. I’d rather not, but I don’t want to seem too distant.

“Oh, nah,” she says. “I’ve got it covered. And you shouldn’t be doin work for a while anyway cuz of the amnesia, it’s bad for ya.” She smiles sweetly. It’s the most subdued expression I’ve ever seen on her, but somehow that makes it stand out. “Doctor Pinkie recommends going outside and having fun. That’ll keep ya goin,” she says with a wink.

I shrug. “Well, if you’re sure. Thanks, I’ll go try to enjoy myself. I’ll see you later,” I say, and start to walk away.

“Wait!” Pinkie shouts, and hops over to me. Before I can ask why, she grabs me and gives me a tight hug. It’s unexpected, and uncomfortable. Luckily, it doesn’t last long. “Gotta get your daily recommended dose of Pinkie hugs. Okie doki, see ya!”

She trots away, so I turn and walk out. It looks like the other ponies have already forgotten I showed up, lost in their own private worlds. Seems like I was embarrassed for nothing.

It’s a warm, sunny day outside. The streets are already bustling, ponies going every which way. Chatter fills the air. Pinkie’s right, some fun and relaxation will probably be good for me. A day off from the bigger picture, just finding fun in the town. Working the old fashioned way. I think I’ll start at the market.

The market square in Ponyville is an absolute mob. It’s a huge pavilion, ponies looking to sell their wares set up in a labyrinth of stalls. Other ponies fill the streets, some for shopping, others just to talk. The crowds get thicker around the more popular shops, places selling apples or sweets or just places with friendly shopkeepers, and at the worst of it I have to literally push my way through the crowd. It’s a lot, but I can make use of it. Nobody will notice my eavesdropping in a place like this.

I wander aimlessly, pretending to look at the shops as I listen in on random conversations. A confession of love in one direction. Tense bartering in another. Behind me one pony trips another and starts an argument. Opportunities everywhere, but none which catch my fancy.

“-can’t believe Applebloom would miss out on this,” I hear from a squeaky voice ahead of me. This could be interesting. I look through the crowds to find the source, and spot a tiny pegasus flapping around and snapping photos. Around him several other children are laughing and playing.

A pink pony nearby responds to him. “Yes, it really is unlike those three to miss a field trip, isn’t it? Skipping school is one thing, but they knew we were going to go talk to ponies about their jobs today. You’d think that would excite them more than anyone.” So it’s a school trip. Sounds like those three kids I met didn’t show up today. At least yesterday wasn’t a complete failure.

Might as well keep pulling that thread. I know enough about the children to use here, and that teacher looks swamped. I bet I can think of a way to lighten her load.

I look around to see if there’s any cover. This many ponies being around makes it tough to find somewhere empty. Behind an empty stall? No, the other stalls are too close. There’s no way a distraction could give me enough cover. I’m gonna have to leave the pavilion.

The side street I turn onto proves to be much more manageable. There’s still ponies, mostly the ones going in or out of the market, but none of them are sticking around to clog things up. I take a quick look around, and spot an alley between a couple buildings that looks nice and dark, so I make my way over and duck inside.

Once I’m sure the coast is clear, I start the change. The world magnifies around me. Buildings become skyscrapers, other ponies seem like giants. I’ve never gotten used to pretending to be a kid, but this one should be easy. Just as long as I got the look down, and I know I did. I think this one was Scootaloo? Whatever, names don’t matter.

Making my way back to the market, I search around for the school group. It’s a lot harder now with this tiny body. Walls of fur and hooves in every direction, constantly shifting. I push my way through, dodging and weaving past legs to where the kids were before.

When I reach that spot they’re gone, surely having moved on. I start looking all around me, struggling to see past the adults around me, worried I missed my window. I have no way of knowing which way they went.

“Scootaloo?” comes a voice behind me. I wheel around to see the huge form of the teacher in front of me. Behind her is the crowd of children, looking at me quizzically. “I didn’t expect to see you today,” she continues. “What a pleasant surprise.”

I try my best to look as scared as possible. I was never very good at playing children. They feel their emotions too purely to emulate, but I do my best. “Teacher, you gotta help!” I cry out. “It’s Applebloom, she got stuck down in the well at the farm, and nobody else is there! Please, you gotta do something!” My eyes are locked to hers, trying to convince her of my fear.

She lights up in shock. “Oh no!” she exclaims. “Okay, um. Don’t worry Scootaloo, I’ll do everything I can. Kids, you all stick together and don’t move from this spot, okay? I’ll be back as soon as I can be.” She pats me on the head to try and reassure me, and rushes off towards the farm.

I drop my mock fear and replace it with a smile as I turn to the other kids. “Got her!” I say excitedly, which the children meet with resounding confusion. “C’mon, guys, don’t you remember?” I say. “Today’s the anniversary of when she became a teacher! Me and the others are puttin on a surprise party.”

The other kids give me 'oh's and 'ah's, nodding along. The tiny one speaks up. “But uh, why’d you have to get rid of her for that? Where’s the party happening?”

“It’s happening right here, dummy,” I respond. “We’re all gonna hide before she gets back, and then jump out and surprise her!”

A short and chubby kid speaks up. “But wouldn’t that scare her?” he says.

“Only for a bit,” I say. “Then she’ll love it, trust me. All you guys gotta do is hide, it’s easy.” Steadily, the kids look at each other, then come around on it and agree. As they start to leave to hide I stop them and say “Oh, right, and don’t jump out until me and the others show up with a cake for her! You’ll see it happen.”

With that the group breaks up, and I return to the alley and turn back into Strawberry Tart. Now all that’s left is to wait for the show to start.

I find a bench in the pavilion and get comfortable. The nice thing about ponies is they’re not very big, so just sitting on a bench gives me enough of a vantage point to be able to see most of the crowd. Like sitting on a beach overlooking a sea of pastels.

I try to spot the kids, but they’ve completely vanished. The market is filled with places for children to hide, underneath stalls or in bushes or up trees. It would be a nightmare trying to find them in this crowd. The thought makes me chuckle.

“I thought I recognized that adorable laugh,” I hear from nearby. I look over and see Rarity, lugging around an overloaded shopping bag and smiling at me. She trots over and sits next to me. “It’s wonderful to see you again, Strawberry. I felt just dreadful about how our last visit ended.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it,” I assure her. “I’m just glad to see you’re still in good spirits. Yesterday was a bit of a whirlwind.”

“Oh, tell me about it,” Rarity says. “After I finished cleaning, I went straight over to Fluttershy’s house to check on her, and she said she had no idea what I was talking about! Oh, the poor thing. I hope there’s not some bug going around, giving people memory loss.”

“Would that explain the strange behavior though? I mean, did you hear about what happened with Applejack?”

“Oh, yes, my sister Sweetie Belle stayed with me last night and told me all about it,” Rarity says. She sighs deeply. “She was so torn up about it all, she couldn’t even get out of bed this morning. I haven’t seen her in a funk this bad in ages. It’s just absolutely heartbreaking to see her going through that. I mean, I know Fluttershy well enough to know something must have happened, but for children…” She shakes her head and sighs again.

I frown. I didn’t realize one of the kids was Rarity’s sister. It’s difficult to see her hurting like this. Maybe it was a mistake to get in this deep. I thought I could handle it, but it’s looking more and more like I’m just not prepared.

Maybe I should just call this one a loss. It’s not too late to start over in another town. Think up a proper cover story, keep my distance, do things right. All I’d have to do is just… not go back to Pinkie’s tonight. I just met her, she’d have no reason to worry if I disappeared.

Rarity looks over at me and tsks. “Oh, dear, there’s no need to look so down,” she says. “We’ve bounced back from worse than this. You just focus on your own troubles. Friends help each other, but we wouldn’t be very good friends if we let you hurt yourself to help us, now would we?” She rubs my shoulder reassuringly.

“I- Thank you, Rarity,” I say.

“Now, tell me,” she says, “how are you settling in so far? Are you enjoying Ponyville?”

I think for a moment. For some reason, I’m having trouble just coming up with convenient lies to these questions. “I’m not sure,” I say after a bit. “I guess it’s not what I expected. Back when I met Pinkie, I figured things would be easy. Just be myself, and things would go smoothly. Then I met more of you, and it turns out being myself is a lot more complicated than I expected. It makes me think maybe it wasn’t such a good idea after all.”

“Oh, come now,” Rarity says. “Of course it was a good idea. Who else could you be, after all? You’re finding more of yourself than just what's on the surface, but that’s not a bad thing. Those parts of you that you find can shine brighter than any diamond. And hey, when things do get tough, we’ll be there. After all, friends help each other, right?”

Maybe she’s right. Maybe if I just settled down and learned to be myself, things would work out. But the thing is, I can be someone else. Someone who’s not me, someone whose pain I won’t feel. Why would I risk being myself?

Still, hearing her say it brings a smile to my face. She smiles back, a warm, gentle smile. Then, out of nowhere, she hugs me. It shocks me like nothing else ever has. It’s nothing like the hug from Pinkie earlier. That one was genuine, but I just tuned it out. This one… maybe it's because I was already opening up, but it makes me feel like I can actually trust the pony hugging me. The feeling burns inside me, turning my thoughts to static, making my cheeks flare up.

Then it ends. The world rushes back, and as quickly as it came, that brief trust is forgotten. Pushed out by the pain of reality. The knowledge that no level of trust is a guarantee of safety.

My face is still flushed, and Rarity giggles. “You’re going to have to get used to hugs if you’re living with Pinkie Pie, you know.”

I push the feelings away, catch my breath. “I know,” I say. “I’ll get there.”

Rarity nods. “Speaking of which,” she says, “I still have to come over and make sure you have an actual room.”

“Oh, uh, I-” I begin, but she cuts me off.

“No objections!” She says. “I’ll be over at 8 o’clock sharp, and you had better not be late! If you are, I’ll just have to choose the decorations myself.” She gives a sly smile, and I smile back.

“Well, I should be off,” Rarity says, getting up from the bench. “I’ve many more chores to- Oh my!” Rarity jumps back as a blur flies past her. “What in the world?”

I follow her gaze into the crowd to find the cause of the commotion. I must have been more engrossed in the conversation with Rarity than I thought, because I hadn’t even noticed, but it seems the teacher has returned. She’s in a frenzy, running around searching for the children.

“Why, that’s Cheerilee!” Rarity exclaims. “Oh, something dreadful must have happened. We should go see if we can help.”

“Huh?” I say. “What could I possibly do?”

“I haven’t a clue,” she replies, “but we’ll never know unless we go try.”

Rarity rushes off, and I find myself galloping after her. I really shouldn’t, but for some reason I can’t seem to say no. As we approach, the teacher spots Rarity and springs towards her.

“Oh, Rarity!” Cheerilee says frantically. “Thank goodness, I need your help.”

“All right, all right, I’m here,” Rarity says, placing a hoof on her shoulder. Cheerilee calms down immediately, still frightened, but no longer in a panicked frenzy. “Just tell me what happened and I’ll do everything I can.”

“The children have vanished!” Cheerilee tells her. “We were here together, then I had to leave them for a few minutes, and when I got back there wasn’t a single one in sight. Oh, Rarity, I’m just so worried. What if something has happened to them?” I can see tears welling up.

Rarity pats her cheek reassuringly. “Oh, dear, it’s all right. They’re children, sometimes children just wander off. We’ll find them.” Then she looks over at me. Her sympathy is clear on her face. “Strawberry, you were here before me, did you see anything out of the ordinary?”

“No, I-” I start, but then my eyes meet Rarity’s and I choke on the words. The way she’s looking at me, so hopeful, so… trusting. She doesn’t even know me, why is she putting so much faith in me? It’s so easy for me to just lie, to betray her, to- to hurt her. She isn’t even considering it, she’s just looking at me with all the trust in the world.

It breaks me. “I, uh,” I choke out. The words are heavy in my throat. “I think that…" I look away from Rarity, stare into the cold ground. "Yeah, um, I heard a kid say something about hiding for a prank.” My ears are ringing, and there’s a knot in my gut.

The ringing in my ears seems to spread through my body. My vision blurs, my legs go numb. The noises of the outside world are drowned in the cacophony in my mind, white noise under a waterfall. It overwhelms me.

I barely register the world around me as things go on. Cheerilee collapsing in relief, Rarity comforting her. Shapes move around me. The two ponies vanish, I guess to go find the children, but I just stand in place in the crowd. This burning, sick feeling inside me has rooted me in place. My mind sits blank as a cold fire spreads through my veins.

Then I feel a hoof on my chin, pulling my face up, and the world comes back into view. Blurs become shapes become ponies, ringing becomes noise becomes chatter. My body still feels hot, but I can think again.

I have no idea how long it’s been. In front of me is Rarity, gentle smile, overstuffed shopping bag and all. Not a drop of pain in her expression, just compassion.

“We found them,” She says, and points in a direction. Following the line, I see Cheerilee waving at me, surrounded by children. “See? You never know unless you try.”

“I, um,” I stammer. What do I say here? I settle for just “I’m sorry.”

Rarity laughs and shakes her head. “Remember,” she says matter-of-factly, “8 o’clock sharp.” Then she shoots me another grin, turns and trots away.

I don’t know how much longer I can stand being in Ponyville.

Comments

[fanreader999999]

So the moral of the story is, it doesn’t matter how many lives you ruin as long as you feel bad.

[Leafdoggy]

9646577
I mean just cuz they're the POV character doesn't mean they're supposed to be like, a good guy. Like, you're right that they're still A Bad Person, that's the intention.

[Emperor]

They're slowly getting worn down by the tenacity of the ponies. Given apparently the protagonist has been to other places before, I wonder what's so different about this one now.