Far in the north, a terrible war raged. What began as a petty border dispute had spiraled out of control, beyond what any of the combatants had imagined. Changelings, ponies, griffons, yak, and diamond dogs all fought for survival, and every race and tribe fought on both sides of the conflict. Sister turned on sister and children turned on their parents.
During the conflict, Shining would go on to avenge his defeat at the hands of Queen Amaryllis, so many years ago. Flurry Heart would earn the honorific “The Warrior-Princess of the Crystal Empire.” Even Twilight’s old students joined the fight, reunited on the field of battle.
“Yona!” Smoulder would shout, no longer a young thing, but a fire breathing lizard the size of a large wagon. “What are you doing? You’re on the side fighting against Equestria. Why are you working for this toolbox?”
Yona, when the time came, would straighten the cap of her menacing black uniform. “Princess Flurry Heart is a tyrant! Amaryllis is great leader who restore dignity and prosperity to Yak.”
“Oh no!” Silverstream would cry. “She’s been, like, totally brainwashed. Amaryllis used her evil changeling powers to warp her mind.”
Then Yona would shout, “Yak blitzkreig!”
But on the night Twilight returned home from her interview, none of that had happened yet. Yona was still at home in Yak Yakistan, listening to changeling diplomats spin tales of Flurry Heart’s coup against her mother.
And in any case, that’s not what this story is about.
Dyed wingtips weren’t cool anymore. They’d been cool yesterday, but somehow, when the sun rose, they were lame.
“Light!” Twilight called, tapping on her sister’s bedroom window with a hoof. Hovering outside the glass, Twilight peered in, but the bed was empty. So she zipped to another window. “Light? Are you home?”
“We have a door, you know,” Double Time shouted from the yard. She and Light had a beautiful house on the outskirts of Ponyville, and kept a picturesque garden that cost much more than buying the vegetables would have. Double was out tending it, her multi-hued shell covered in dirt. A trowel and a watering can floated beside her.
“I know. Sorry.” Twilight zipped Double’s way, so fast she left a purple blur in the air behind her. She spoke just as quickly. “I just needed to see Light. It’s important! I mean, not like fate of the world important. I don’t need her to wield the Elements of Harmony or anything. Although I think she could. Actually it’s really nice that our relationship has come that far. Have I told her that? I don’t think I have. Okay, I need to fix my relationship with Light. But first I need her to fix my wings because I just did an interview and it’s going to be a disaster!”
“Breathe, Twilight,” Double put down her trowel. “Light’s in her studio.”
“Okay, thanks.” Twilight zipped off. But before she’d gone a dozen yards, she paused and fluttered back. “I heard about what happened with Cheval, by the way. You okay?”
“I’m fine,” Double said.
“Great, okay, I’ll check in on you later. Cya.” And she was off again. She landed on the houses’s second-story balcony, burst into Light’s studio, and shouted: “I need your help!”
Light was so startled she dropped her brush. It left a long red streak down the middle of her painting. Which was fine. She mentally decided to sell it as one of her abstract impressionist pieces. She was famous enough she could get away with that sort of thing.
“Hello,” she said, when the brush finally rolled to a stop on the floor.
“Oh my gosh. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to ruin your painting.” Twilight flew up to Light’s side, the wind off her wings rustling the paper that adorned the room’s walls and desks. “It’s a beautiful painting. Because you’re very talented. And I appreciate you as a sister. And a friend! Like we’re sisters but also friends and that’s magic.” She landed, her hooves making soft taps on the hardwood floor. “And I know you’re probably still mad about the—”
“Twilight, you’re having a teenager moment.”
Twilight’s jaw shut so fast her teeth clacked.
For a few moments, silence hung between them. Light watched as Twilight shifted her weight from hoof to hoof, shifting her body posture like she couldn’t quite get comfortable. Her wings open and shut.
“Are you sure?” Twilight asked.
“Positive,” Light said, a small smile on her face.
“Oh, well. Then I’ll just… I’ll just ignore it.” Twilight gestured with a wing to the open balcony door. “I’ll let you paint and—”
“No no. You’re here.” Light smiled. “How about I make some coffee and you tell me what’s bothering you?”
“I don’t want to waste your time. If it’s a teenager thing.”
“It’s okay. We should talk about family stuff anyway.” She rose from her spot in front of her easel. “Come on. Let’s go downstairs.”
Light wasn’t old. Not yet. She was thirty-four, had no children, and hadn’t finished paying off the house. Her mane had exactly three grey hairs. Her art had made her famous in her own right, but the critics still said she needed to “pick a style and settle down.” And her back-left knee hurt sometimes. It wasn’t injured, it just got sore for some reason.
“Do you have tea?” Twilight asked her. “I prefer tea.” Light said that she did, but then made Twilight coffee anyway.
While they drank, Twilight explained her issue. “I know, it’s…” She laughed and bit her lip. “A teenager thing. But I was really happy that I was going to be in the news looking, you know, hip. And then I was in Ponyville today, and Flare asked, ‘when are you going to wash those off?’ And I didn’t know what she meant and I got embarrassed and…” She looked down into her coffee and shrugged.
“You know you weren’t hip when you actually were a teenager, right? You were a loveable nerd.”
“Yeah, but most of my friends are, you know.” Twilight circled a hoof on the table. “Well, not most of my friends. Rarity and Pinkie Pie and Applejack and Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash and all the old crew from Ponyville are still amazing. And I still love seeing them. But they’ve moved on with their lives, and so we don’t really, like. Hang out. In that sense. They’re not really into sleepovers and board games and friendship adventures anymore. So most of the friends I hang out with these days are actually teenagers, and I’m pushing forty and…”
“It’s weird?”
“It’s super weird.” Twilight chuckled. With tension in her voice, she asked, “Do we need to reshoot the interview?”
“I don’t think so. But if you’d like me to recolor your wings, I think I can manage something your friends will like.”
Twilight spread her wings wide. Light’s horn glowed, and with her magic, she controlled paint and dye and makeup alike. The color on Twilight’s wingtips faded away, replaced with something more subtle and elegant. It was like a line of smoke was curling along her side.
“So, who’s Flare?”
“Oh, I thought I’d said. One of my new friends. A pegasus. There’s no way to check until it happens, but I think she’s the new Element of Laughter.”
“I thought Silver Cordial was the new Element of Laughter?”
“Well,” Twilight paused. “She is. I think Flare is the new new one. I don’t have exactly five friends at any given time, so it’s hard to say. And Silver Cordial is still a great pony to have around in a crisis. But she’s getting older too, and I seem to always end up in a friend group with six main ponies. These days, the new group is Flare, Kizmet, Rack Spin, Linden, and Flash Bang.”
“Is Linden the one with the stripes?”
“Yes. She’s half-zebra. But it’s not cool to say that anymore so don’t do it.”
Light nodded. “Are they going to celebrate your birthday? It’s coming up.”
“Yeah, probably. Kizmet is going to make some of her, um. Brownies.” Twilight cleared her throat. “Actually, with everything that’s weird about me, it’s nice that they don’t make a big deal of it.”
“I was thinking of getting you something.” Light paused a moment to spread Twilight’s feathers further apart, putting the finishing touches on her design. “The thing you said during the interview, about having a sticky note on your coffee machine. Is that true?”
“Yeah.”
“That must look a little ugly, having the sticky note always there. And I’ve been meaning to try my hoof at some practical design. How about I make you a new coffee machine? One that reminds you what you like in a less obtrusive way.”
Twilight turned to look at her younger sister. Her expression was uncertain, mouth hanging open half an inch. “You can do that?”
“I’m a visual designer.” Light grinned and lifted a hoof to the ceiling. “I can do anything.”
Twilight couldn’t help but grin as well. “That sounds wonderful!”
The smile fell off of Light’s face. She looked at the kitchen with wide eyes.
Sticky notes covered every surface. The coffee machine had three.
You like coffee. Every time you’re apprehensive about trying it, and every time you love it.
You can put sugar in it. Don’t stress out that you’re going to gain weight.
Yes it tastes different because Spike isn’t making it anymore. Different is not bad. Spike’s coffee wasn’t great.
“Sorry about the mess,” Twilight said. “I need to get a new system. I’m thinking of going back to checklists. I need to hire a replacement for Spike. I’ve got a note for that somewhere around here. I need to get to that.”
She scribbled a note reminding herself of the first note to hire a replacement for Spike. She stuck it to a plate so she’d see it first thing in the morning when she made pancakes.
“Um…” Light took a hesitant step forward. “Twilight, this, um… are you okay?”
“Sure,” Twilight tilted her head, “why wouldn’t I be?”
“It’s a lot of sticky notes.” Light pulled the reminder about sugar off the coffee machine. “Like this one. Do you really—”
“Woah, woah!” Twilight rushed over to Light and took the note from her. With great care, she pasted it back on the machine, using her magic to reharden the glue. “No, Light. No. I’m sorry. I know you’re being nice, but you can’t touch any of these. You understand? Never touch them. That’s not cool.”
Light swallowed. Her mouth had gone dry. “Why not?”
“Think about it. What if you forgot to reattach it? What if I lost it?” Twilight gripped Light’s shoulders. “These are my thoughts.”
They looked around the castle kitchen, covered in bits of yellow paper.
“You’re inside my mind,” Twilight said. “When you’re standing here. Don’t touch another mare’s mind without permission.”
Congrats! You get a like.
Haha, YEET. Getting here early!
When I first read "Mr. Ed," I literally blurted out "You son of a bitch!" That's how you know it's a good bad joke.
In any case, this looks like it's going to be all kinds of quietly horrifying. Looking forward to it!
Actually just read the chapters;
oh boy.
This is going to be about Twilight's suffering this time, isn't it?
I'm really excited for this story. I'm curious about your process in making these stories. Do you have an overall tale in your mind already, and are just writing individual stories, or is this more of self reflection put into words?
>insinuating that Twilight is jailbait
This is actually really disturbing. At least she's happy, I guess?
I... am infuriated by this for some reason. I want to punch Celestia very hard and yell at her for manipulating Twilight into becoming this. And I feel so, so sorry for Twilight...
HERE WE GO AGAIN KIDS.
*winced*
Serial killer wall vibes here...
Freaky, as usual, but Good! (As usual).
This is sort of beginning to seem like it leaning towards more horror, tragedy or both rather than slice of life but its early yet so maybe things will change.
Ok, this is worrying. Twilight seems to be actively forgetting things. Not just failing to truly learn lessons emotionally like I thought, but simple information things like what she needs to do and what she likes.
But then again, well, eternal life is eternal life. It's quite possibly worth the inconvenience/lobotomy.
Oh, my poor Memento-Twilight.
Also:
Too real too fast
Ho-le shit
That's... Damn, I can perfectly picture Light going to Celestia and demanding she explains what the fuck's going on with Twilight. Just for her to say she has a war to worry about... And let the problem continue for decades. Until some villain actually understands Twilight and starts changing her post-it notes without her knowledge.
Oh wait, it doesn't have to be a villain. Only some "well intentioned" assistant. Twilight is a bomb waiting to happen, a BIG one. She needs help, and needs it fast. Else someone will get into there... And it won't be pretty.
Falling out of touch with her first friends is also sad as fuck. I wonder how they feel about her eternal sixteen.
This is going to be awkward, and horrific, and embarrassing, and I'm going to love every minute of it.
Yikes. Yeah, all the yellow lights on the panic dashboard are blinking.
"Happy" definitely has a different meaning in Jaxie's dictionary.
This is the perfect amount of neurotic. Good take!
Now I wonder if she's having some very weird hue of OCD, or if immutability in time is a thing for your neural connections too
Oh my god, we're in this universe again. Right after I finished A Foreign Education too. It's okay Amneiger, deep breaths. You don't have to get back on GaPJaxie's Emotional Wild Ride. Just don't press the Favorites you pressed the Favorites button didn't you.
9580346
You ain't kidding.
cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/559899306543284227/569735323743944742/unknown.png
Oh, well, this is sooner than I expected! :)
Chapter 1:
"Have the royal designer ponies approved anything you’re wearing?"
Suggesting Rarity is no longer in the picture at this point in time...
(Also, was that supposed to be "everything"? Or is the question only interested in there being at least one thing?)
"the makeup ponies satisfaction"
"the makeup ponies' satisfaction"?
"your eye-shadow is"
"your eyeshadow is"?
"Items 3, 4, 5, and 6"
Hm. And all of that gets skipped if there are no cameras or live audience? Or does the list following Appendix 1: Optional Questions, Section 3 eventually lead to a direction to proceeded back to the initial list of Items?
"Light Step and Double Time were both attending"
Oh, so Light Step isn'd dead yet, at least.
(Double time I don't think is as useful for data here, given we know much less about how long a changeling in her situation might be expected to live relative to a pony.)
I suppose Rarity might still be around actually, and have provided things Twilight's wearing, but the royal designer ponies make sure it's all on properly just before she has the interview, or something...
"Double looked at the floor. She wasn’t the waving type."
Interesting, and a bit concerning...
"So no harm came of it."
I'm sure that was exactly what Twilight meant anyway, of course.
"And they go ‘so that’s basically a magical lobotomy, right?"
[cue laugh track]
...Though it occurs to me that the ponies who are around that age and feeling put-upon for it may have a different reaction (possibly one involving genuine laughter). I wonder just what Twilight's popularity is among the teenagers of Equestria?
"hung on it it threatened"
"hung on it that it threatened"?
But really, each individual sticky note is a small price to pay for life eternal, so it's fine, right?
Chapter 2:
"beyond what any of the combatants had imagined"
...I'm still kind of suspicious of Alicorn Princess/Empress Flurry "My cutie mark has a crown in it and I conceive of my destiny as being to rule" Heart there. Though she is also young, so maybe she still didn't grasp the full extent of it.
And you know, it also occurred to me that that interacts in a slightly worrying way with how we don't know when or if she'll stop growing.
...And that bit you posted (though I can't seem to find or recall where at the moment) about the Young Six... wasn't just a joke? It's actually in the chapter? :D
I am wondering about the tenses being used in it, though... Twilight dreaming about (part of) how things have gone terribly wrong?
Oh, or that's just in the (possible?) future.
"And in any case, that’s not what this story is about."
:D
"They’d been cool yesterday, but somehow, when the sun rose, they were lame."
...Which may help answer my earlier question about how the youth of Equestria feel about the youthful Princess, depending on how quickly and widely the interview was distributed.
"She mentally decided to sell it as one of her abstract impressionist pieces."
"I call it, 'Advent of my Sister #427'."
"a teeanger thing"
"a teenanger thing"?
"but she the critics still"
"but the critics still"?
"laughed a bit her lip"
"laughed and bit her lip"?
Ah, so apparently Twilight didn't make that uncool overnight. Well, that's good.
"Actually, with everything that’s weird about me, it’s nice that they don’t make a big deal of it."
...Well. I do wonder how Twilight meets these ponies, though. Is there a growing custom of ponies with foals getting to the right age range moving to Ponyville and trying to send them 'round the castle?
So Light Step hasn't been to the castle in a while, I'm guessing... or at least not Twilight's quarters.
And I'm sure that Twilight has completely succeeded in convincing Light Step that she's just fine. Juuuuuuust fine...
I came into this expecting a story about Twilight struggling on the dating scene, and instead I got existential horror. Not bad.
In the description:
known
I'll be waiting for a bit more of a backlog to be posted, but I'm excited!
This whole universe is bordering on something unfortunate.
Description:
"Twilight can't really say. She's never know anything else."
know = known
Is Spike's absence something that will be addressed in this story or is this a detail from one of the previous stories in the series that I've forgotten? Because that's the thing that jumps out at me the most about this scenario with the endless stickynotes, that she only does this NOW, in absence of Spike.
I was rather hoping to find out what happened to Cheval after petrifaction.
But this looks almost as sad.
I've always said that Flurry Heart will destroy us all.
Friendship Adventures are an ALL AGES activity.
(So are board games, but I will admit that depends a great deal on the board game. Monopoly, for instance, is for no ages).
Actually scientific fact, the brain isn't finished developing at 16. It's not a lobotomy, but if she's physically stuck at the age she was alicornified, there are definitely going to be differences.
9580458
Best reaction. xD I'm still trying to figure out how I feel about A Foreign Education.
9580201
Yeah complete agreement. Ineffectual as a leader she may be, but at least Cadance is mostly functional. Twilight...yeah, she's one misplaced post-it from a complete meltdown.
I love this.
I love your Twilight, I really do.
This is the Twilight that nine years worth of Bronies can relate to.
The part at the end, with Light Step?
Yes.
9580802
B_Munro: Actually scientific fact, the brain isn't finished developing at 16.
My god. Celestia... what have you done? Either Twilight needs those notes because she's neurotic (unlikely) or... she needs those notes because with slightly underdeveloped brain her memory is actually faulty. Like the protagonist of the film "Memento", she might have anterograde amnesia (the inability to form new memories) and has short-term memory loss approximately every five minutes!
And her brain is 'locked' that way. Forever.
My god. Celestia... what have you done? You complete, absolute, utter idiot of a mare. What have you done? I know it's been talked about before - the whole anti-alicorn thing... - but I've always felt that Twilight Sparkle was never meant to be a Princess. She wasn't meant to be an Alicorn. Now, thanks to this fic, we know why.
And I find the fact that Twilight needs all these notes to be terrifying.
Wtf? I know it’s been a while since I read The Third Wheel but last I recall she DESPISED Twilight. She should be burning those sticky notes and replacing them with “you like to drink your coffee mixed with pig shit”-notes.
9580859
Then you failed to finish reading it, since by the end they'd mostly made up.
9580868
Skipping to the end of that story sure was hard but you were right. They totally made up at the end. It’s not like Light is carrying the baggage of being a psychopath to her family for years, would be a convicted criminal if her family didn’t bail her out and still has the hots for a self-admitted war criminal who got pardoned by the international community because they know they’re all fucked. She would NEVER do something like fuck with Twilight’s notes.
Bring on the down votes!
9580879
do remember that this story is set 18ish years later
9580893
The point of time this story takes place hasn’t been established yet.
I can see the web now. The elements need friends to work... but friends grow up and drift apart over time. There needs to be an anchor, a constant, to keep making and maintaining friendships so that the weapons work.
And so a sacrifice is found... or, rather, made.
9580909 From chapter 1 of The Third Wheel;
A Foreign Education, chapter 1;
By the chapter titles, The Third Wheel takes place over the course of a year. Cheval was adopted in Courtesans, and she's 16 by the time that A Foreign Education takes place. Considering that Virgin Princess takes place not long after, by reference in Chapter 2, it's been at least about 17 years since the start off TTW, and plenty of time for Light to get over being a bitch of a teenager.
9580942
Light was sixteen, now she's thirty-four. Can't get an easier way to determine how much time has passed, 18 years.
9580942
Virgin Princess doesn’t chronologically take place after Foreign Education.
Oh dear, that really needs fixing.
9580958
It very much does.
9580946
Knew there was a more direct reference, just couldn't seem to find it. Thanks!
9580974
An undefined coup described by a hostile nation that has spent decades actively undermining everyone.
You do know that the whole subplot of this entire series is that everything changelings say is pure bullshit right? Like the story is literally denigrating yaks in your quote to prove that point?
9580909
Well you wanted downvotes, so here's one for every post of yours which somebody points out is wrong, which so far has been all of them.
9580980
Except they were talking about Flurry's coup. You know, the one that actually happened in the last chapter of Foreign Education?
You know, alicorns being emotionally time-locked says some very alarming things about Princess Luna's stability, especially if Celestia isn't actually able to fix her behaviour. Or did the Elements of Harmony fix that?