Counting

Author's Note:

Uhhh… I might have written this for the April 2019 incest is wincest contest, and then forgot to publish it. Better late than never, I guess? (Published in June of 2022 LOL)

Celestia was good with numbers.

And she hated it.

She often found herself cursing her intimate knowledge of numbers. More often she found herself cursing the reason why she is so gifted with her understanding of numbers.

It hadn't always been this way, in fact, there had been a time when she was quite fond of numbers. She used to love keeping track of how certain numbers rose, but those days had come to an end. She let out an unhappy sigh as she thought of the chain of events that had led her to her newfound aversion to numbers.

Not wanting to dwell on painful memories, Celestia sat up shivering slightly as she left the embrace of her sheets and blankets. She squinted towards the far wall, attempting to discern what time it was. It was 10:24 in the evening. She laid back down, trying not to think about the number 1024.

There were a few numbers that Celestia hated more than the others, 1024 being one of them. For many number enthusiasts, 1024 was a fine number, being the tenth power of 2, but Celestia cared not for the frivolities of number theory. For her, 1024 would always represent the most painful time in her life. She had spent 1024 years suffocating under the weight of loneliness and guilt that her spat with Luna had left her, and as far as Celestia was concerned, that was the best reason to hold a grudge against a number.

Irked that despite her best efforts, she had still managed to get caught up in bad memories, Celestia rolled over to her other side and continued to try to fall asleep. She was aware of the many tricks that some ponies swore would help anyone fall asleep, but unfortunately, they all seemed to involve counting, and counting always requires numbers, and numbers had already done enough damage to Celestia's circadian rhythm.

Celestia squeezed her eyes shut and tried to hum some music in her head, but she stopped when she realized that she couldn't keep time without counting.

With a frustrated huff, she cast a simple light spell and levitated a book over to her bed, figuring that if she could distract herself with some literature, then she might be able to fall asleep reading. She opened the book to start reading, but immediately chucked the book across the room upon seeing the page number.

This was getting ridiculous. Surely there was something Celestia could do that wouldn't inadvertently involve numbers in some way. She supposed she could go for a walk, but then there was a chance that she would end up counting her steps. She could practice some spells, but that would remind her of Twilight, who often gushed over numbers. She could eat a snack, but then she would have to decide how much to eat, which would involve numbers. She could seek someone out and have a conversation with, but Celestia was sure that a subject involving numbers would come up at some point.

Celestia slammed her head into her pillow as she realized that she was listing possible activites, and lists were inherently numbered. She tried not thinking at all, but anyone who's tried that knows that when trying not to think, you end up thinking about how you're trying not to think. She groaned as she realized that attempting not to think is a catch 22, and 22 is a number.

Eventually Celestia had resigned herself to a night of insomnia, when the door to her bedroom opened. Through the light, she could see a tall and dark figure closing her door. For the first time in several hours, a smile made its way onto Celestia's face.

Without a word, Celestia shuffled over to make room for Luna on her bed.

Luna frowned as she crawled into her sister's embrace. "Why are you not asleep yet? You know that good sleep hygiene is critical for maintaining a healthy lifestyle."

Celestia sighed. "Yes, Luna, I'm aware that sleep is important, but sometimes I just can't seem to get any no matter how hard I try."

"Well then it's a shame we don't have a sleep expert on hand. If we did then we might be able to fix your problems" Luna said with a slight giggle.

"Yes, quite unfortunate," Celestia said, as she nuzzled Luna.

Celestia let out a soft whimper when Luna left her embrace to sit up.

"I'm afraid that wasn't just a bit of banter, Celestia, I want to know what's keeping you from sleep," Luna said with a stern voice.

Celestia winced and tried to drag Luna back down into snuggling range, but Luna wan't having any of it.

"We can cuddle after you've told me why you can't sleep," Luna said.

Sighing, Celestia begrudgingly struggled into a sitting position, but refused to let go of her sister.

"Well?" Luna asked.

"I just can't seem to get my mind to shut off when I want to go to bed," Celestia replied.

"That's a rather common problem," Luna said. "Some popular remedies include warm milk, getting some exercise during the day, or taking some melatonin supplements." Luna's face twisted into a smirk, "Though I suppose with how much you weigh, you could down an entire bottle of the stuff before you began to feel tired."

Ignoring Luna's little gibe at her weight, Celestia replied "Well my schedule is so full, that there simply aren't enough hours in the day for me to get any exercise,"Celestia then booped her sister on the nose before adding "and I know someone who might get a bit upset if I tried to add any more."

Luna rolled her eyes at the comment. "Well if none of the quick fixes will work, perhaps it would be useful to attack the problem at its root."

Celetia giggled, "I suppose we could remove my brain then. Do you know any good surgeons?"

Luna frowned. "You're trying to avoid this conversation"

Instead of replying, Celestia just snuggled deeper into Luna's shoulder.

"Celestia, come on. I'll still love you no matter what thoughts are keeping you awake," Luna said in a patient voice.

Celestia knew she had to be careful when navigating this subject. She knew that this was a sensitive issue for her sister, and didn't want to upset her with these thoughts. She took a deep breath, squeezing her eyes shut as she began to explain. "I can't sleep because I keep thinking about... numbers."

Luna blinked. "Numbers?" She asked in a deadpan voice. "That's what's keeping you awake? Is mathematics so exciting to you?"

"No, it's more like, I..." Celestia stuttered unsure of how to continue. "It's like if every time you hear a bell ring, you get kicked in the face, so eventually you start hating bells."

"I'm not sure I quite understand," Luna said. "Are numbers the bell or the kicks?"

Celestia gave into her dread, knowing full well that there was no way to wiggle her way out of where this conversation was going. "The numbers are the bell."

"And the kicks?"

Celestia sighed. "This analogy isn't working."

"Then don't use one and just give it to me straight"

"When you were, uhm... away. I didn't really know what to do with myself. Obviously I had a country to run, but I couldn't find happiness in anything. It was like I was watching a play, but I'm a character in the play. All I could think about was you, and how much I messed up by ignoring you. I kept trying not to think about it, but I couldn't. The most I could do was just count things. How long you'd been gone, how many nights I woke up missing you, anything to do with you. I felt like, if I could make my emotions into numbers, that I could make them go away. And I guess through that process, I came to associate numbers with my mistakes. And now whenever I come across a number, it's like all of these emotions come back and crush me under their weight!" Celestia began to feel tears running down her cheeks. This conversation hurt, but it was a good pain, like the soreness after a good session of exercise.

Luna gave Celestia a soft kiss on the lips before proceeding. "Oh Celestia, I knew that you were carrying guilt from our disagreement all those years ago, but I never knew that it went this deep. At this point, it could take years for you to let go of the association, even longer if it keeps eating away at you like this."

Celestia continued crying into her sister's shoulder, hoping to gain some semblance of comfort from the physical contact. "If it's too late for me, then what can we do?"

Luna smiled "We do this." Luna then gave Celestia a kiss, "one..." then another "two..."

Confused, Celestia pulled away from her sister. "What exactly are we doing?"

Luna pulled Celestia back into her forelegs, "If you have a strong association between me and numbers in your mind, why don't we use that? We can start counting all of the good things we share, like kisses, or hours spent cuddling. If we can do that, then we can fix your sleeping problems. Not to mention that it will also give us an excuse to see each other more often!"

"I... I think that might work. It's worth a try, at least," Celestia said.

Luna smiled and pulled Celestia back down onto the bed, "Good, now, it's time for you to go to bed. You may be a princess, but even princesses have bed times they need to adhere to."

Celestia smiled and gave her sister a kiss before wrapping her sister up in a loving embrace.

"Three" Luna whispered.

As they began to fall asleep, Celestia found that she was less bothered by numbers, though she knew that they would remain a bugaboo of hers for quite some time. The numbers still had their scars on her psyche, but she could feel them beginning to heal. Perhaps in a year or two, she might not be bothered by them at all. Celestia smiled, it seemed as if her relationship with numbers might start improving.

She decided that she could live with that.

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