On the 19th day of spring, the thaw finally came, and the ice released its grip on the mountainside. Grass covered the quad, flowers filled the gardens, and the orchards at the edge of campus sprung into life. It took only days for the oppressive grey to replaced by a riot of color. Some of the students even started a club to add ivy to the walls, hoping to breathe a bit of life into the grounds.
The 19th day of spring was a Monday. On Friday, citing numerous diplomatic incidents, the Republic of Griffonstone formally dissolved its non-aggression pact with the Crystal Empire and signed a mutual defense treaty with the Northern Changeling Hive. On Saturday, war broke out.
The next Monday, the Ivy Club held its first meeting to discuss the best way to build trestles, and the Crystal Empire surrendered.
Cheval couldn’t cry. Her eyes didn’t have tear ducts. But Cross Product could cry.
She sobbed into Gideon’s shoulder.
“It’s…” He rested his talons on her back, wrapping his wings around her like a blanket. “It could be worse.”
“You have raked me over the coals at every opportunity for being a liar you unbelievable tool,” she snapped, barely able to form words around her tears, “don’t you dare tell me what I want to hear.”
“You’re right. You’re right.” He squeezed her against him. “I’m sorry.”
The newspaper in the student lounge had a map of the north. In the center was a little white dot, labeled “Crystal Empire proper.” Surrounding it on all sides was a large grey blob labeled, “Disputed Territory.”
Surrounding the grey blob on all sides was a black area labeled “Northern Changeling Hive.” It washed over every port, railway, and road. It flowed along rivers and coastlines and national boundaries. Cadence’s domain no longer had a border with Equestria.
Nopony died. When it became clear which way the battle was going to go, Amaryllis offered General Harmony Shield very generous surrender terms. Cadence’s army got to march home unharmed, and even kept their weapons.
Gideon held Cheval for as long as she needed, muttering soft nothings and keeping her close. A few other griffons in the student lounge stared, but when Gideon shot them a hostile glare, they decided to be elsewhere. Soon, the two of them had the lounge all to their own.
“I saw that,” Cheval croaked, when one student fled. “You don’t have to do that.”
“I hate gossipers. It’s pathetic.”
“Scaring them off will only make them gossip more.” She swallowed the lump in her throat, and leaned up to look him in the eye. “Is there any good news? You’re political, right? You have training?”
“It isn’t exactly my specialty.” He looked at the map, then down at her. “But…”
“I know.”
He gave a small nod. “Are you going to go home?”
“No. I’d only make it worse.” She sniffed, but her eyes darted down for a moment—jumping from his eyes to the cadent pins on his collar. “But the odds would be a lot better if the griffons were on our side.”
Gideon’s smile was soft—almost apologetic. “You know that’s a little above me, right?”
“I don’t understand how the Party can support a ruler who literally thinks of her people as her property. Queen Amaryllis is offensive to everything the perpetual revolution stands for.”
“I know that. But Princess Cadence is an unelected monarch too. We don’t really have an ideological horse in that race.” He brushed her shoulders with a talon. “We’re betting on the winner. That’s all.”
“You think Amaryllis is a winner, huh?” Resentment seeped into her tone. But Gideon refused to rise to the bait.
“Cross, do you want me to be honest, or do you want me to tell you what you want to hear?”
She hesitated and bit her lip. “I want you to be honest. Always. It’s what I admire about you.”
“I don’t think Amaryllis is a political genius. I don’t know what the Griffbureau thinks, but I doubt they believe she’s brilliant either. But they know that Cadence is a loser. And no matter how much I or they might personally like her, no griffon bets their life savings on a losing horse.”
“It’s not her fault,” Cheval snapped. “She doesn’t personally command the army. She’s had a lot of bad generals in a row.”
Gideon didn’t shout, but his tone hardened, losing its layer of sympathetic fluff. “In Griffonstone, a general who surrendered their entire army without a fight would be publicly executed for cowardice. Is Harmony Shield going to be hanged off the palace walls?”
“She was surrounded and outmaneuvered. The writing was on the wall.” Cheval glared. “So, what, she should have sacrificed her entire army to make a glorious last stand? Gotten all her ponies killed for nothing?”
“Yes,” Gideon said. “Because tens of thousands of casualties would have forced Celestia, Luna, and Twilight to intervene. A bloodless surrender makes it easier for Amaryllis’s agents to keep Equestria’s princesses focused on Equestrian problems.”
That made her snap. Her voice rose. “She can’t butcher thousands of her own ponies just to make a political point!”
“Then she can’t be a ruler.” Gideon released Cheval’s shoulders and folded his wings back against his sides. Cold air rushed in around her and ruffled her coat. “Back in the first war. What would have happened if Amaryllis lost?”
“Her, um… her hive would have reformed. Become good guys. And—”
“Stop pretending to be stupid,” Gideon snapped, a note of anger entering his tone.
They glared at each other for a few long seconds. Cheval’s expression softened first, and she said, “Her hive would have been destroyed. Or at least, it would have become like Thorax’s. A non-political settlement that controls no empire.”
“And now she rules the yak and the diamond dogs and quite a few crystal ponies. And if she loses a major war with the Crystal Empire or Equestria, what will happen to those territories?”
“They’ll be liberated. Become their own countries. Probably with some treaty terms limiting the size of Amaryllis’s army so she can’t conquer them again.”
“So, in summary, her empire will be destroyed.”
“Yes.”
Gideon let the silence hang for a moment. He nodded. “And what happens to Cadence if she finally loses the Crystal Empire proper?”
Cheval didn’t answer, and so Gideon answered for her: “She goes back to her palace in Equestria, takes tea with her aunt, raises her children, and says very mean things about changelings in the papers.”
“That’s not fair.”
“I thought you said you were going to stop pretending to be stupid.” Gideon’s words emerged with a hot snap. “Cadence is playing the game of empires like it’s a round of croquet behind Canterlot Palace. Amaryllis is playing to win. She does what she needs to. She does what she can. She gambles. And when she loses a gamble, and things don’t go her way, her officers don’t surrender. They fight to the death.”
He let out a breath. With a talon, he gestured down at the map. “Amaryllis is a winner because she wants to win. And Cadence is a loser because she doesn’t. That’s how I feel. And that’s how the Party feels. And I support that decision, not just because I’m wearing a uniform, but because it is the right thing for Griffonstone.”
Then he said: “And if that means we can’t be friends, I understand.”
“Heh.” Cheval sniffed. “One argument and you think that means we’re not friends?” She lowered her head to the floor for a few seconds, and when she lifted it again, she was smiling. “Or are you afraid of getting hurt again?”
Gideon froze. His expression locked into a neutral mask. Cheval didn’t mind, and kept speaking like nothing had happened: “You’re a walking lie-detector. No griffon or pony can get anything past you. Except her. You believed her for years.”
He pulled his head back, grimacing down at her. “So the reason you’re so fake all the time is your actual personality is a malevolent bitch.”
“I can be whatever you want. I can cry into your shoulder, and listen while you tell me everything is going to be okay, and be a dim, fragile little mare who needs a big strong stallion to protect her. Or I can be the intelligent, independent, strong creature who can stand up to you.” She flicked him with her tail. “But I can’t be both of those things at the same time, so you gotta decide what you want.”
“What I…” He froze, shooting her an incredulous look. “Cross, I don’t know what you think is happening here, but we’re just friends. I’m not into ponies. At all. You are not physically attractive to me. And even if you were, I just broke up with my girlfriend.”
“The griffon doth protest too much.” She put her hooves up on his shoulders, rising up on her hind legs to look him in the eye.
“What is wrong with you?” he asked, attempting to pull away from her.
He never completed the motion. Her eyes flashed green, and he paused where he stood. A befuddled expression crossed his face, soon followed by a hot flush.
“You’re not into ponies,” Cheval said, “but you are into me. Aren’t you?”
“You’re, um…” His eyes traveled over her, from her horn to her hips. “I’m not rebounding with you, Cross. It’s not happening.”
“I was flirting, not inviting you into bed.” Cheval rolled her eyes. “I’m merely observing that I noticed you noticing me. Say something you like about me. Say why I’m attractive.”
“You’ve got…” He frowned as the gears in his head turned. “I like griffons with wide tail feathers. So I guess you’ve got… nice hips?”
“See? I’ve got nice hips.” She kissed his beak. “Is that so bad?”
“I guess not.” Though his voice was still confused, he nuzzled her back. “Do you think… griffons are attractive?”
“Not in general,” Cheval giggled. “But I like you. Your blood smells nice.”
She kept the bloody rag from when he injured his forehead. Although the smell had mostly gone out of it, she still sniffed it sometimes to remind herself of him.
One day, in the spring, Gia burst into their room. “I can’t believe you!”
Cheval was working at her desk in the form of Cross Product. She didn’t look up. “If this is about my letting Girard cheat off my exam, that’s not true. I don’t know who started that stupid rumor.”
Gia stormed across the room and knocked Cheval’s textbook off her desk. “It’s about you and my ex-boyfriend necking in the common spaces.”
Cheval jumped at the attack on her desk, but when she recovered her composure, she smiled. “Gia, that’s stupid. Changelings are sterile, remember? I don’t ‘neck’ with any creature.”
“Changelings drones are sterile.”
“And I’m a drone.” Cheval spread her hooves. “Don’t imagine things.”
“You are-!” Gia reached back to lock the door to their room, then lowered her voice. “You are not a drone. You are taller than a drone. You are thinner than a drone. Well, thinner in the waist. Noticeably wider in the hips. And you have hair. The only two changelings I’ve seen with hair are Queen Amaryllis and Queen Chrysalis.”
“Don’t be…” She let out a breath. “Silly. And it’s fine, okay?”
“It’s not fine.” Gia growled. “Don’t think I didn't notice you were around when we broke up. Did you do something? If you did something I’ll—”
“You’ll what? Admit that you sheltered a foreign national with false papers?” Cheval rose to her hooves. In a flash, she reverted from her disguise to her true form. With the added height, she looked down on Gia. “I’m the daughter of a head of state. If you sell me out, I get to go back to my palace, and you get to spend the rest of your life doing hard labor.”
Gia froze. “I trusted you. I stuck my neck out for you.”
“I know you did.” Cheval’s eyes glowed a soft green, and Gia’s eyes glowed in turn. “Because you’re my friend, right?”
“Yes.” Gia said. “I mean, yes. We’re friends.”
“And friends watch out for friends. Remember? I took care of you when you were sick, and you took care of me. Which means when I ask you for a favor, you need to do it. Right?”
“That…” She furrowed her brow, confusion written all over her features. “That doesn’t sound right.”
“But is it right?”
“I guess…” The green glow behind her eyes intensified. “Yes. Yes, that’s right. We’re friends so when you ask me for a favor I need to do it.”
“Mmmhmm,” Cheval said. “And it’s okay. You didn't love Gideon anyway. You were only dating him for the physical attraction. And if you miss that, I can help.”
In a flash, she turned into Gideon. Her talons rested over Gia’s throat.
They kissed once. That was enough to cement the spell's effect on Gia’s mind, and Cheval had no interest in going further.
Gia and Gideon weren’t in a relationship anymore, and so Cheval could harvest love from neither of them. To survive, she had to look elsewhere.
Griz had a girlfriend he cared about, so Cheval beguiled her into signing up for a season serving the Party on a collectivist farm. Once she was gone, Cheval took her form so she could ‘return early.’ The real one sent letters of course, but it was so easy to persuade him to throw them away.
One of her mathematics professors had a son who hated her, and she longed for nothing more than to repair their relationship. Cheval offered her the opportunity, blaming any imperfections in the disguise on injuries suffered in the army.
She had casual friendships too. They weren’t sustaining on their own, but they could be a delicious addition to more substantive fare. There wasn’t a griffon in the dorm who didn’t like Cross Product.
One day in the summer, when the trees were in bloom and the air was pleasantly warm, Gideon surprised her. He had a gift for her—a book of poetry. He kissed her under the trees.
It was the first time he’d kissed her spontaneously, instead of her having to beguile him. A flush rose in her cheeks. She wobbled on her hooves, unsteady. “I feel weird.”
“You feel hot.”
“Oh.” She looked at him. Then down at herself. “Am I sick?”
He laughed. “I doubt it.” Then he kissed her again.
They rushed back to the dorm. On their way through the common spaces, Cheval grabbed a handful of students she knew. “I need privacy,” her eyes flashed green. “Guard the door to my room.”
And they did it, because Cheval was their friend, and friends watch out for each other. They defended her from any intrusion. One, without even being asked, went outside to guard the window.
Inside the dorm room, Gia was working on homework. “Gia,” Cheval snapped, “stand in the corner and don’t say anything.”
So Gia stood in the corner and didn’t say anything. Gideon stripped off his uniform. Cheval stared into his eyes, and dropped her disguise.
He froze for a few, long seconds. Changeling magic shimmered behind his eyes. His face twitched as he first tried to snarl, then tried to smile, and found he couldn't complete either expression.
“Love me,” Cheval told him. “Please, love me.”
His will broke. He spun her around, grabbed her by the back, and lifted her tail.
Gia stood in the corner, said nothing, and watched.
Queen Amaryllis’s personal train pulled into the station at Griffonstone.
:V
You instead of your?
Oof, the Crystal Empire really is this verse's punching bag, huh?
What did they ever do to you, GaPJaxie?Welp, that escalated quickly.
Come on, Cheval. Just kill her and take over the hive already.
It seems Cheval has truly forgotten that people aren't objects to tinker with and feed on. I suppose slowly subjugating the griffons is one way to save the Crystal Empire, but I don't think that notion crossed her mind at all.
.... Somehow, I don't think a picture of a puppy will fix this emotional roller coaster.
in political, military and social terms, what the hell happens to equestria, the empire would not be a kind of protectorate for equestria ?, Celestia or Luna should realize that losing not only the territory, the moral support of the ponies for two humiliating losses is ...... god.
at least they could send equipment or volunteers of the royal guard, lose an important territory at the hands of a potential enemy without doing anything (the allies of equestria or equestria itself).....
Lol xD
These fics are increasingly feeling like Poor Decisions: The Series...or rather, to be more precise, Ponies Make Poor Decisions: The Series. I've been putting off observing that since the writing is good overall and I am enjoying how it's a series of character pieces...but at this point I do have to make note of the fact that ponies and only ponies (or in Cheval's case, a changeling raised by and among ponies) are being shown as broadly incompetent at anything not related to cutsie stuff. Or, incompetent perhaps isn't the right word, so much as "unprepared". It's like the ponies are being placed into the "real world" and, of course, being from a show targeted at 8- to 12-year-old girls, are woefully unready to confront the trials and tribulations of the "real world".
But the problem with this is that it's starting to strain my suspension of disbelief, because the ponies aren't being displaced into a "real world", but rather we're expected to believe that they always existed in the real world but still advanced as far as they did without any problems, until roughly when The Third Wheel began, when suddenly ponies grabbed on to the idiot ball with all four hooves and wings and telekinesis as relevant.
Roughly, I have a difficult time accepting that Equestria could have existed for at least 1,000 years and yet ponies be this broadly incapable of operating in the harsher-than-the-show world you've constructed, GaPJaxie. Especially after Courtesans, which seemed to focus on giving Cadance and Shining Armor a bit of an education in the non-sunshine-and-rainbows world of the show.
I'm not saying something like "fuck it I'm out" or anything, I'm not at a breaking point and it's not like you're obligated to listen to me or anything. Just some observations.
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I think it's more like she's trying to willfully suppress her conscience out of self-hate. Her molt leaving her with the holey look is an expression of how she views herself.
Oh, also, I want to double-check that my understanding of the politics is correct.
So at the start of this story, the Crystal Empire is a subject of the greater Amaryllis Hive and borders Equestria but is still very friendly with Equestria. In this chapter,
dirty Commiesthe griffins attacked the Empire but not the Hive. The Empire surrendered before any battles, but as well the Hive failed to do anything to protect the Empire, its subject state. Notably it did not declare war on the griffins, it must be presumed, since Amaryllis can come to Griffinstone with no noted problems.So Amaryllis failed to protect the Empire/defend her de facto territory against outside invasion, and more-or-less accepted the partition of the Empire into a much smaller state with the remainder being claimed by the griffins, despite Amaryllis, I am gathering from this story, controlling a far larger territory and army and so on. At least, nothing has suggested to me yet that the griffins stand at remotely equal terms to the changelings as presented.
Why? This feels sort of like if the USSR just shrugging and accepting it if, I dunno, Yugoslavia invaded and annexed most of Czechoslovakia, despite the Czechoslovaks being WarPac members.
And meanwhile despite Cadance being a member of the Royal Family of Equestria and despite theoretically the sovereignty of the Crystal Empire being a point of nominal common interest between Amaryllis and Equestria, Equestria doesn’t get involved either. Celestia having written off the Cadance as a lost cause or something?
Again, I’m starting to have trouble suspending disbelief here. Either this is a ridiculous world of magic and happy endings or it isn’t, but if it isn’t but ponies still exist in it then the decisions of ponies shouldn’t be reflective of a people who think that it is. At the very least you should have dropped something about a Pax Celestia by now that explains that for the past 1,000 years everything’s been so sunshine and rainbows that ponies really have forgotten how to Realpolitik.
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Welcome to another episode of The Dunk On Ponies Show, with your host GaPJaxie!
Bloodless or not, an attack is an attack. War is war. Celestia, Luna, and Twilight should be doing something about the Crystal Empire situation. Queen Amaryllis has shown her hand and revealed her villainy.
Dangit, I started reading this series because I enjoyed the characters. Now, however, the contrived political drama is starting to get in the way and drag the story down. It's not too late-- don't let this turn into the Star Wars prequels!
I too am very confused by Amaryllis's actions. She just accepts losing a ton of territory that she de-facto rules? Really doesn't seem like her as far as I know her.
Cadence doesn't seem unrealistic to me, most of her army is 1000 years out of date, and she keeps surrendering before Equestria can mobilize (mostly because her forces would be slaughtered before Equestria got there, but still...)
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The Workers Party of Griffonstone is a little more straightforward in their approach. Griffons, after all, are a pragmatic race. They tend to say it like it is!
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Woo! I'm glad you liked it. The last two chapters should be up soon.
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I loved writing that line so much. It is, indeed, fuckin' metal.
images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/3ab95cd4-c7c0-4150-8098-8c475a912ca6/d8e2kxp-743181c4-e5be-4e24-ad49-2e72ce156616.jpg/v1/fill/w_944,h_847,q_70,strp/mlp_heavy_metal_by_0bluse_d8e2kxp-pre.jpg?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOjdlMGQxODg5ODIyNjQzNzNhNWYwZDQxNWVhMGQyNmUwIiwiaXNzIjoidXJuOmFwcDo3ZTBkMTg4OTgyMjY0MzczYTVmMGQ0MTVlYTBkMjZlMCIsIm9iaiI6W1t7ImhlaWdodCI6Ijw9ODk3IiwicGF0aCI6IlwvZlwvM2FiOTVjZDQtYzdjMC00MTUwLTgwOTgtOGM0NzVhOTEyY2E2XC9kOGUya3hwLTc0MzE4MWM0LWU1YmUtNGUyNC1hZDQ5LTJlNzJjZTE1NjYxNi5qcGciLCJ3aWR0aCI6Ijw9MTAwMCJ9XV0sImF1ZCI6WyJ1cm46c2VydmljZTppbWFnZS5vcGVyYXRpb25zIl19.-3tfMGtvXoAR-iQFctTHiw_ef9LMbzne2M8Pe7oYVJM
OOOOoooooohhhhh
-applause-
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Re: All comments on the story's politics. The intent is as follows:
First, on the specific events in the story, the griffons didn't attack the Crystal Empire. They allied themselves with the Northern Changeling Hive, and Amaryllis attacked. Note the line, "Amaryllis offered generous surrender terms."
In this Alternate Universe, the alicorns are less powerful than they are portrayed in other fics. Celestia, Luna, and Twilight are still a big deal and Amaryllis does not want to fight them, but they're not guaranteed to win every fight just because they're in it. This is why Equestria might hesitate to go to war, if Celestia wasn't certain they would win.
The Crystal Empire is remote. While it technically shares a border with Equestria, responding to an emergency in the far North takes weeks not days. In many cases, the crisis is over before Equestria can help.
Equestria does provide a great deal of military assistance to the Crystal Empire in the form of supplies, weapons, troops, etc, but the CE has still managed to lose their (many) border wars with the NCH. There are a lot of reasons for this -- the biggest one of which is that the crystal ponies are a thousand years out of date on military thinking, and the changelings still have much better intelligence/counter-intelligence.
Finally, while nopony believes Amaryllis is the good guy, she hasn't offered an atrocity that would force Equestria to go to war. She rules her conquered territories fairy (note the line "there are more crystal ponies in Amaryllis's army than in Cadence's"), showers the crystal ponies in gifts, and there are even some crystal ponies in the Empire who want Amaryllis to be their ruler instead of Cadence (like the Society for Harmony with Equestria).
Basically, Celestia and Luna will give Cadence all the help they can so she can win this battle, but they won't fight the battle for her. Cadence has to defend her own kingdom.
You know, given their performance against Sombra in the season opener, Cadance and Shining being incompetent in matters of defense or warfare doesn't seem so far fetched anymore. Especially when Sombra was beaten before by turning on the Crystal Heart...and they didn't think to do that until after he'd taken over and Twilight and co had come to kick his butt.
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Cadence looked so badass in that last scene! You know, after Sombra was already defeated.
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Maybe what I'm most confused about is the state of the CE between Courtesans and the start of this fic.
At the end of Courtesans, Cadence had effectively accepted that she was powerless against Amaryllis, and the CE became a vassal of the NCH as much as it was a vassal of Equestria. Hence the changelings showering the CE in gifts and Cadence helping set up the schooling program for young changelings (and accepting Cheval as her kid)
At this start of this fic, it seemed as if that status quo were mostly still intact. Equestria and Cadence might not like that current state of affairs, but they were accepting of it and it was a mostly mutually beneficial relationship. The changling hive had mostly reformed anyway and while they weren't bad guys or anything, they were going to stay allied so long as Shining kept being whored out.
But now it seems like the NCH allied with the Griffons to attack the CE. That's what I don't get- the CE already did a basically total surrender to the NCH in all but legalities. Sure, the whole Cheval plan didn't work out, but Amaryllis still had effective control over all the parts of the CE aside from the palace. Why would she ally with a neighbor to attack an empire she had already de-facto conquered?
That seems like a perfect way to destroy all the goodwill building she had done up to that point. The Crystal Ponies were already joining her army willingly, why would she be willing to make them hate her for some official surrender terms instead of just, y'know, continuing the charm offensive?
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The same reason she installed Cheval in the first place. She doesn't want to de facto rule the Crystal Empire, she wants to actually rule the Crystal Empire.
And now she's taken just a little bit more of their territory.
Ugh. This is not the way.
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To what?
On Chapter 3:
"wings lay in pile next"
"wings lay in a pile next"?
"I’ve seen pictures of two particular changelings with hair."
Ahhhhhhhhhhhh that is a very interesting point, Gia yes. Well. That's... a thing. Well. Let's see how this develops. :D
"The name is just branding so they sound nicer."
And the similarity to the other one is a total coincidence, I'm sure.
(Though I do wonder if they claim that Cadence in charge is somehow a situation of lesser harmony with Equestria?)
Also, I think my question about to whom the monarchy would be surrendered has now been answered.
"When you’re the heir to a monarchy, you can’t accidentally endorse a rebel faction that wants to overthrow your mother."
Though I do also kind of wonder how accidental it was. I mean, Flurry is a teenager, and when her mother's the not-called-a-queen, political rebellion against the throne would nicely double-count as rebellion against her parents. :)
(I mean, probably not a good deliberate decision, but see: teenager. And on top of that Flurry, however much Cheval might not want to hear it, did somehow earn an international reputation as "the dumb one".)
"what her special talent going to be"
"what her special talent is going to be"?
I wonder, assuming it is indeed the case, if it's ever been pointed out to Cadence and Flurry that Celestia, Luna, and Twilight (though I'm not sure how much she's actually ruling) don't have heirs on standby. I wonder what that might say about the Crystal Empire vs. Equestria. And where the balance actually is between one side thinking the other's too cautious and the other that the first isn't enough.
I mean, assuming that there isn't a succession plan for Celestia and Luna, and it's just not placing the pressure on someone so personally connected as a daughter. Which could be the case.
Though I'm not sure; the Empire's situation is pretty different, after all. Much higher ruler turnover in history, much more frequent and recent full removal of the top of the government, much less secure international position, much more complicated royal family...
Anyway, though, continuing on reading. :)
"She hates her job, and sometimes when you hate doing a thing you don’t apply your full effort. So she’s waving at crowds, but she’s only half-there, so she makes little mistakes and the newspapers think she’s an idiot."
...And again I wonder if they're mistakes. Cheval is a changeling, and close to her... but possibly too close to have a clear view. And if she's right about Flurry being significantly more intelligent than the papers think, well, if she doesn't want to be the crown princess, there are plenty of other people who'd be able to fill the role if Flurry made herself look unqualified enough.
But Cheval has incentive to not believe Flurry is really, genuinely wanting to hoof the Empire away.
...Yep, and then the discussion goes into that...
...Well. :D
You do just seem to infuse this quality into your writing...
On Chapter 4:
(Oh, and being back up at the top, I observe a similarity between the description of Cheval's mane and the cover art. :))
"On Saturday, war broke out."
...
Welp.
...So much for the slow and peaceful conquest?
I mean. I guess it hasn't said who the war is with yet; maybe it's with someone else.
...Hum. And I note it's specifically a mutual defense treaty, suggesting that it's not an alliance in force when one of the parties is the aggressor. So did someone else declare war on Griffonstone and/or the Northern Changeling Hive?
(Also, nice delivery. :D)
...Oh, and then the next paragraph answers the first part of that questioning, at least.
(And again, lovely delivery.)
"Cadence’s domain no longer had a border with Equestria."
Interesting. This seems to imply that it did before the war, which would make sense, but the disputed territory only borders the Imperial City and the Northern Changeling Hive. This suggests that the disputed territory is not the territory and only the territory and the only territory now being claimed by the Northern Changeling Hive, but that at least some of the claims have passed without dispute, which in turn raises the question of what the dispute is over.
"“I know.”"
Hm... What, I wonder?
"losing it’s layer of sympathetic"
"losing its layer of sympathetic"?
"his wings back against his side. Cold"
"his wings back against his sides. Cold"?
"be friends I understand."
"be friends, I understand."?
I wonder where the tail feathers are on a griffon? Do griffons in this universe have feather-fur as I recall seeing on some art of pegasi? Or perhaps it's something to do with the tuft at the end of the tail...
"Your blood smells nice."
"That is a thing that normal ponies such as myself say, is it not?" :D
(Though given Cheval isn't generally that bad, I wonder what's up here. Might just be her current emotional state reducing her capacity. Or she knows/thinks that Gideon is currently under enough influence that he won't think it's odd or concerning.)
"Changelings are sterile, remember?"
...Yeeees, but changelings in disguise, or even out of disguise, may participate in necking for various social and/or manipulatory purposes. This really isn't a great defense, and so I am led to wonder why Cheval is trying it...
"Changelings drones are"
""Changeling drones are""?
"“And I’m a drone.” Cheval spread her hooves. “Don’t imagine things.”"
[glances up at previous non-typo comment]
Current hypothesis: Cheval is not internally unanimous in wanting to keep hidden (potentially including from herself) her current... life state? Whatever it would be called.
Anyway, why else try a defense that not only didn't work but drew attention to this?
"I took care of you when you’re sick"
...Hm. Pointing this out just in case, but I think "you're" probably could work as a contraction of "you were". Don't think I've seen it much, though.
"the spells effect"
"the spell's effect"?
Well. What does that last line mean?
...
Ohhhh.
...
So. Just hypothetically. If a ruler gave one of her children to another ruler to be raised in the second's family as part of a peace deal... and then years later, the news broke that said child had been exiled for mysterious reasons, and the first ruler couldn't get any information...
Would that, just perhaps, count as a casus belli?
(And thinking on the mutual defense treaty: Even though it seems it did, indeed, not come into force in that war, it still makes a statement, and with that war over, it would presumably bring Griffonstone in against Equestria or the Crystal Empire if either of them were to declare a new war on the Northern Changeling Hive.)
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"Thank you! There may be callbacks to that line quite soon."
You're welcome, and, heh, aye! :D
"And all typos corrected of course, with my thanks. "
You're quite welcome. :)
"The phrase "charm offensive" may be more literal in her case. She'll get the Crystal Empire one way or the other."
Or, as it seems to be turning out, one way and the other...
"Oh boy. I'm wondering what you'll think of the next chapter now. "
Yeah, no kidding. Well, the dynamics still sure aren't boring. :D
Though I do wonder (...Yeah, I've been wondering a lot of things here. :D) if Cheval used more mental influence than she'd have actually needed to. I mean, depends on what her goals are and how quickly she wants to achieve them, of course...
(I'm still wondering about that letter from Flurry and its interaction with the mail-snoops. Maybe it's just vague enough? It certainly isn't explicit about her being a changeling... but it isn't that thorough at hiding it, either, and Double Time is mentioned by name and therefore might be a way to track down not just Cheval's species but her particular identity.)
...Huh. Looking at the comments, a number of people seem to think that the griffons attacked? Or that Amaryllis lost?
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Ah, okay, thanks.
"This is why Equestria might hesitate to go to war, if Celestia wasn't certain they would win."
I imagine that there's also some calculation of what even a victory would likely cost vs. what the loss from not intervening is. If Amaryllis treats her subjects well enough while maintaining formidable-enough looking defenses (and maybe signing a few defense treaties...), Equestria seems likely to want to avoid even a war they think they'd probably win eventually.
[reads a bit further down]
Ah, right, like that. :D
"While it technically shares a border with Equestria"
Well. Shared.
"Cadence has to defend her own kingdom."
Or... not. She seems to be rather better at "not", unfortunately for her.
Well, unless Amaryllis decides to make it her new capital, and maybe even then, Crystal Empire City will still need a mayor or equivalent, right? Don't even need to kick out the current one if there is one, just wait a few decades. Term limits might be a problem if there are any, of course...
Strange chapter.
Cheval behave not better then Queen Amaryllis.
I lost my sympathy for her.
I honestly can’t tell if Cheval is having a crisis and going off the deep end, has this all as part of some plan, or if changeling nature really is just that twisted.
If it’s the latter, it would be interesting to question whether something can truly be considered evil if it’s just following it’s nature... But she would still be a monster nonetheless.
It feels like there’s no coming back from this one, but judging by the other stories I imagine that you’ll pull some magical turnaround. Unless Cheval’s master plan was to assassinate Amaryllis or discredit her empire or something.
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The personal power of Celestia has nothing to do with my suspension-of-disbelief issues, it’s her personal experience. Again, I’m assuming that Equestria is still 1,000 years old at least, with Celestia ruling it for all that time. Yet for a ruler with 1,000 years of experience she’s making a lot of rookie mistakes with Amaryllis. The fact that the Empire might be conquered by the time Equestria can put hooves on the ground doesn’t rule out military intervention; Kuwait was fully under Iraq’s thumb before the US could properly respond in 1991, but the US still built up a coalition and went to war to liberate it.
Given how often show-traits of the ponies are mentioned (singing, etc.), it feels like, as I said, you’re putting the show-ponies in a harsher world, and of course the targeted-at-little-girls ponies aren’t going to be up to dealing with that. But by the same logic their nation would never have lasted 1,000 years in the first place.
I want to know how a nation as demonstrably politically naïve as Equestria made it this far, and I want to know why it’s only now starting to fail, beyond “the needs of the story”.
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I think it’s because she’s starving for love, and as a Queen may have a higher need for it than regular changelings to boot. Which, of course, would mean that Amaryllis’ Hive never actually reformed (the entire point of the reformation was so changelings wouldn’t need to eat love anymore - neither Ocellus nor Thorax in the show have even alluded to being hungry for it even in snack form) which explains the holes in Cheval’s real body beneath her exoskeleton. Their “reformation” was, almost literally, only ever skin-deep.
Although it’s odd that that would apply to Cheval given where she grew up, though on the other hand being near the Princess of Love she wouldn’t need to reform.
Oh no... it feels like things are rapidly spiraling out of control.
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In the show, the stated trigger for the transformation is by changelings "sharing love", perhaps their body slowly reverts to the old form if they relapse to the old way?
This can´t end well
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The first part of this chapter makes it seem that way, since it goes into detail about the griffins dissolving their mutual defense pact with the Empire and then stating war breaks out. Nowhere is it specified that it’s Amaryllis attacking the Empire until later, and the following section can still be followed if you assume a griffin attack on the Empire, at least to a point. Plus Courtesans and the earlier parts of this story established that the Empire is de facto under Amaryllis’ control anyway, so her Hive attacking it doesn’t really make much sense, and one would assume that her naked aggression against a friendly state to Equestria ruled by members of the Equestrian Royal Family would finally provoke a response from Celestia, because if this won’t, nothing will - which is a blank check for other nations to start closing in on other Equestrian allies, and eventually, Equestria herself.
Basically this plot point only works if Celestia is an idiot. But then one wonders how she stayed on the throne for 1,000 years and how Equestria became as expansive as it is.
I almost think we’re supposed to be getting Hitlerian vibes from Amaryllis, with Celestia playing the part of the reticent Neville Chamberlaine. No one stopped Hitler from re-arming the Rhineland or gobbling up Austria or Czechoslovakia, right? Except that the Nazi’s actions from 1936-38 only worked in the context of a Britain and France that were desperate for avoid a repeat of World War I. Their appeasement of Hitler was predicated on the idea that Hitler didn’t actually want a general European war, because they assumed that no one was that stupid. Even then the Illusion was shattered by the time the Nazis started marching into Czechoslovakia, and Britain and France drew a line in the sand at Poland.
Here, however, I don’t know what event could possibly have been so traumatic to Equestria as to give them a World War I equivalent to make them willing to bend over backwards to avoid fighting Amaryllis like this. We’re not, for example, given a reason to think that Chrysalis’ actions are worse than what we saw in canon, so it couldn’t be the wedding.
Does that mean that Cheval is quickly going to change her specialization from math to chemistry? Specifically, picric acid synthesis related chemistry? Or does she prefer gelignite?
I hope at least some of her feelings were true. Sure, it won't salvage those relations, but it would make her truer to her true family, the one she truly belongs to.
The one she'll most likely insist be kept on the throne while she rules the changelings as their daughter, because deep inside she's a good pony who wants to destroy the monster and help her family and all that believe in her. And above all, her beloved sister.
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To live your life.
To be a princess.
To treat your friends.
To not cause an international incident.
Oh, my. The children will be... confused when they hatch.
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The children of a changeling queen are always changelings. There's no such thing as a half-pony/half-bug. But just like Cheval takes after Shining, those eggs will take after Gideon.
Well. They'll take after him in some ways. He's an honorable griffon. All changelings are liars.
9567589 "All changelings are liars."
A lie, spread by nasty ponies who secretly envy changelings.
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Or just someone who forgets that everyone is a liar. Every day we tell lies in some capacity or another. We pretend to like a song or pretend to be okay with a decision or pretend we like someone that we can’t stand to be around, or hundreds of other little lies.
Changelings don’t even have to lie to survive - not when reformed and not prior to that, either, at least not on an individual scale. Double Time is proof enough of that. Cheval has only been reduced to this because she did the equivalent of moving from a smorgasbord to a desert. When you’re hungry enough, you’ll do bad things to eat. That’s not the nature of changelings, that’s just plain ol’ nature.
Speaking of which, I’m still not sure why she chose to “exile” herself to Griffinstone instead of Equestria.
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I mean, I wasn't sure who attacked whom in the first part, agreed, but I don't see where the jump from that to the griffins being the aggressor against the Empire comes from.
Does Equestria need a recent trauma to be highly against going to war?
Three chapters at once! You spoil us.
Having not preread anything beyond the first two chapters, and not having had the end spoiled yet, I think I still see where this one is going — although I worry that I'm being optimistic:
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What in Celestia's name is going on here
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> Speaking of which, I’m still not sure why she chose to “exile” herself to Griffinstone instead of Equestria.
If she was comfortable with herself as an equine interacting with other equines, she wouldn't have left in the first place.
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rot13.com
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Comments fixed. Also also:
I better pick up that phone because YOU FREAKING CALLED IT.
Ooooooh shit. Stuff is going to go down in this town!
As someone with a interest in the German Empire, my Versailles Sense is tingling
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Spoilers.
Though man I'm curious what you'll think of the next story in the series.