Everything was silent. It was not a good kind of silence.
I opened my eyes, slowly seeing everything slip into focus. I was lying under fallen luggage peppered with shattered glass, and the train car was leaning on one side allowing sand to pour in through the windows. I groaned and moved my limbs, wincing at the response they gave. I took a breath and forced myself upright; being careful to not make it hurt more than it already did.
What had happened here? I tapped my head, trying to clear my foggy memories. I was asleep, but then a letter from Twilight woke me up, and then there... There was a bright light and a shockwave. Everypony fell silent, or I was deafened, or...
Oh no, please no. The other passengers!
I lurched forward to start searching, my hooves barely cooperating through the sharp pains travelling through me. Treatment would have to wait. I had to find the other ponies and make sure they were safe. Fallen luggage was pushed aside in case there was anypony trapped underneath, my dry throat called out for anypony who could hear me, but nopony replied. I hurried along with a churning feeling of dread growing in my stomach. Where were the others? What had happened to them? I negotiated with the lopsided train and checked all of the cars and the caboose. Each one turned up empty, save for luggage, refreshments, and other belongings lying around.
My chest went tight, my breaths becoming unsteady. What if I had been unconscious for so long that nopony saw me? Had they all left together to get help? How long had I been out for? I clambered outside into the desert sun, and broke out into an awkward, pained run. I ran up to the top of the nearest dune and looked over the other side. There was no sign of anypony. I scanned the horizon, hoping to catch a silhouette or any tracks leading away from the derailed train, but sand and sky were all I could see. Desperately, I called for help, and no response came.
The feeling in my chest started to choke me. I called for help, again and again, until my throat was sore and I was coughing on sand.
Everypony was gone, but I was still here.
I ambled back to the train, watching the tears fall into the sand and vanish in the rising heat. How could they have left me behind? Could they have not noticed me? How long had it been since they left? Where did they go?
My head was starting to throb and ache. I collapsed in the shade of a tipped carriage. My eyes closed out the sunlight, and I wished that the eerie quiet of the desert was the comforting sound of a peaceful forest. I groaned at the dull pain in my skull, and winced as my other injuries soon made themselves known again, each one stinging and throbbing to gain my attention.
Groggily, I lifted my head up to check where it hurt the most. I had been cut and bruised in the accident, but I was lucky to not be worse off. The cuts had closed up a long time ago and were starting to heal on their own, though the dull throbbing warned that they could open again if I wasn’t careful. Patches of purple were visible through my coat, each one aching if I moved a muscle that disturbed them Hopefully the other passengers hadn't been badly hurt either, but if they had left in such a hurry, could that mean that there was somepony who was? Wouldn't there have been a medical kit on board to at least help treat them until help arrived?
I carefully rose onto my hooves, and threw my foreleg out to lean against the train when a head rush took over. I should go find the medical kit. I took a few breaths and willed myself to clamber into the train cars again, this time seeking the kitchenette in one of the cars. I found the emergency first-aid kit still attached to the wall, and I raised an eyebrow at how it hadn’t been touched. Not a single bandage or painkiller had been taken. I lifted a hoof up and rubbed my forehead, maybe now wasn’t the time for thinking too hard.
I pulled the kit off the wall, unpacking it and swallowing a couple of pain pills. I sat myself down among the scattered refreshments and forgotten luggage, trying to not think about how things didn’t make sense.
Should I stay here? It would be safer. There was food, water, and shelter. And the train was an easy sight for a search party to spot. I could wait for them here for a few days before the food and drinks would run low, but what of the other passengers? What about the ponies that had left? I stared at the things that been left behind. There were blankets, canteens, and other things that would've been taken by a group hoping to brave the journey back, but had been left behind. Why had they done that?
Whatever the reason, the ponies probably didn't have enough water with them for the whole group. This far out of reach from civilisation, the other passengers would be in danger. A ball dropped into the pit of my stomach.
I nodded to myself as I made up my mind. I was going to have to leave too. I had to make sure everypony was safe.
My gaze wandered down the carriage, and soon spotted my saddlebags.
The scorching heat of the desert had reached its peak. I flew swiftly through the air, keeping myself a few hooves above the ground so I wouldn’t have far to fall if I crashed. My wings ached and protested against being used, but not enough for me to stop flying. The pill had done what it could to take the edge off the pain, but a dull sensation continued to race through my nerves. I pushed myself on, hoping to catch up with the other passengers before sunset. I had to find them and make sure they were okay, and I hoped and hoped that they were following the tracks to either Appleloosa or Dodge Junction. But with no hoofprints in the sand pointing in any direction, I couldn't be sure where the others had gone. All I knew was that I was unconscious for a long time, and by the time I had woken up and discovered myself alone, any prints in the sand would've vanished under the breeze drifting over the ground.
I could've gone back to Appleloosa – the train had probably derailed closer to there than to Dodge Junction, after all – but I was afraid that if there were any ponies wandering in the opposite direction, by the time I reached Sheriff Silverstar and got a search party to come out, those ponies would be in terrible danger. And if the forgotten supplies in the train wreck were any indication, they were unlikely to have enough water to last more than a day. If everypony had started walking back to Appleloosa, then I'd end up flying all the way to Dodge Junction on my own over a couple of days. If that happened, then at least I would be sure there were no lost ponies in the middle of the desert.
Back in the train I had collected up my belongings in a rush. My saddlebags were completely emptied of their contents, and were stuffed with first aid supplies and some food that I had found aboard the train. I had picked up two canteens filled to the brim with water, one canteen being mine - a gift from Appaloosa - while the other was among the left-behind possessions that had been thrown all over the place when the train tipped over and left the rails.
The ties of the railway track raced beneath me, and I kept my eyes open and my ears alert. Sometimes I would catch a tiny movement nearby, and for a moment I'd think I'd found somepony lying in the sand. In a split second of dread, I'd turn my head to look, and would catch a lizard scurrying away or a vulture taking flight and later soaring high above me.
While I'd feel slightly relieved that I hadn't found any ponies, it would soon make me worry more. They may not even be following this path; the passengers could’ve tried taking a shortcut for all I knew. I didn’t have time to waste searching a wider area, though. Hopefully it wouldn’t turn out to be a mistake.
I decided to stop and take a break in the shade. My wings were refusing to carry me much further, and my throat was sore and collecting dust. I needed a drink and a rest. I found a shaded spot near the bottom of a small mesa, and brought myself to a gentle landing. My hooves barely caught me as I touched down, my bruises flaring up in pain again under the weight.
I dropped my gear and twisted the cap off of my canteen, and poured water over the burning sensation in my throat. I closed my eyes for a few seconds and tried to relax, hoping to recover some energy before I took wing again.
Something dropped down nearby. No, two things. I opened my eyes and glanced over, spotting two vultures on a rock, making no secret that they were watching me. I kept drinking my water, but kept my eyes on them. The two birds kept watching me patiently, almost motionless. I put the cap back onto my canteen and stood up, and walked over to them.
"Excuse me, but have you seen any ponies come this way?" I asked them.
The two large birds looked at each other in mild confusion, and then looked back at me. They shook their heads to say no.
"Are you sure? No ponies on hoof, wandering in the desert recently?"
They shook their heads again.
"Oh. Thanks anyway." I turned away from them and started picking my things back up. If none of the animals had seen them, then they were either much further ahead, or hadn't come this way at all. Whichever the case, it was best I kept going. Either I’d find them along the way to town, or I would reach Dodge Junction. The sooner I did one of those, the better.
I took a final gulp of water from my canteen, and strapped my saddlebags back on. With a few aching flaps, I took the air and headed out into the afternoon Sun, following the train tracks through the desert. This time, the vultures didn't follow me.
A terrible, endless howl groaned in my ears, echoing off the walls of the cave I was hiding in. I glanced toward the mouth of the cave, seeing nothing but a reddish blanket of flying sand just outside.
The sound isn’t so bad… I looked at one of my cuts, wincing at the sand grains that had opened it and got inside. But being in that storm was awful…
It came out of nowhere. The desert used to be still, silent, and safe for flying. But before I fully realised what was going on, the wind picked up and threw sand in my eyes. I crashed into the dunes, breaking a strap for one of my canteens, and reopening some cuts. I scrambled onto my hooves, stashing the loose canteen before it was lost to the sand, and ran through the storm, searching for shelter. The roar of the wind was deafening. Thousands of grains of sand scratched and gnawed at my skin and clawed at my eyes, turning everything beyond my nose into a haze.
I had never been in a sandstorm before, and I hadn’t expected one to be this sudden. Not being able to see or fly, and choking on sand was worse than learning to swim for the first time. No, it was worse than trying to fly for the first time.
Finding this cave at the base of one of the mesas was a blessing. If I wasn’t already coughing up sand when I stumbled in, I probably would’ve hugged the sandy floor in gratitude. I had been hiding here for a day now, or at least my best guess was that.
I had spent at least three days in the desert now, and wasn’t even sure if I was closer to reaching Dodge Junction or the train’s occupants I had originally set off after. If I had stayed put at the train wreck, I wouldn’t have been hit so hard by this sandstorm. I would have had shelter. But how would I have been able to stay there knowing dozens of passengers were wandering the desert? What if they were caught in the storm right now and without any shelter?
My wings ached for me to go, but I couldn’t let myself do that. It frustrated me that the moment my wings wanted to spring to action – rather than freeze solid at my sides – I could not do anything but wait. The storm was too strong, and the few minutes I had struggled out there didn’t paint a positive image in my mind of what would happen if I tried to weather it for much longer.
I had to sit and wait. I had to be calm, patient, and positive. The sandstorm would pass soon, and I would find the missing passengers safe and sound. No pressure. No worries.
But after three days of flying and walking, wouldn’t I have seen somepony yet? I couldn’t imagine a large group of ponies on hoof outpacing a pegasus. Not even if they were stampeding. No, the gap between us should’ve closed by now. Could I have over-shot them? Taken a route they didn’t take? I had followed the train tracks the whole time. I may have ventured further from them than I should have. I kept the tracks in my sight though; they were the only landmark I could use to navigate. Even at night I kept close to the rails. I didn’t trust myself to remember navigation by the stars like I had to learn in Flight Camp. If there were passengers who could, though, and knew the desert, the missing ponies could’ve taken a shorter route than I. They could still be ahead.
My head fell into my forelegs. The fact remained that I had not seen a single pony in three days. I had emptied one of my canteens and was running out of water in my other. If it weren’t for an uncomfortable feeling swirling around in my stomach, I might’ve finished that canteen, too.
If I was low on water, and I had two canteens, then that would mean that the other passengers would be either out of water or close to it. There were a handful of canteens left behind in the train – along with untouched medical boxes and refreshments. Why they had left so much behind still troubled me; they had to have been low on everything when they left, but why would they leave so quickly without taking enough water with them at least?
A dull throb slammed against my skull, forcing my head into my hooves and closing my eyes tight. It didn’t matter now; those ponies would need help much more than before, and I may be the only pony close enough to help them.
I lifted my head up and gazed at the ceiling. What if I’m too late? What if I don’t find them at all?
My chest gripped itself in a suffocating hold. A cannon ball bowled down into the pit of my stomach, knocking the swirling sickness everywhere. Deep breaths, my mind whispered to me. Try to stay calm; the sandstorm will be over soon. The others will be okay – you’ll see. My breaths tried to fall into a rhythm, but it felt like I was starving for air. My eyes glistened, and I squeezed them tight and fought to calm down. Count your breaths. One... Two... Three...
Slowly, my chest was allowed to breathe again. The past two sleepless nights caught up to me and I did nothing to stop them from whisking me off someplace else. Anywhere was better than here - even a dreamless sleep.
A serene stillness greeted my ears when I woke up. Compared against the mourning wail of the storm I had listened to before, the difference seemed threatening.
My head bolted upright and I glanced around. I was still alone. I looked over to the entrance, and saw bright sunshine beating against the rocky wall. The storm had passed. It was time to get going.
A yawn escaped me, and I rose onto my hooves. I took a short moment to make sure my belongings were still secure, and to have a much needed drink. Nerves or no nerves, I couldn’t risk dehydration, though if I didn’t find a place to refill my canteens, I would be running that risk soon.
I peeked outside, worried of what could be lying in wait if I was careless – it never hurt to be careful. I shielded my eyes when I finally stepped into the midday sunlight, and I squinted as I scanned the landscape around me. The railroad was still visible, but just barely, and I could see the remnants of the sandstorm disappearing in the horizon. I took wing and flew high into the sky, twirling around to get my bearings.
My wings slipped a beat when my gaze fell upon the sight of a town. The rails led straight to it, and gave away the size of the settlement and the orchard of trees adjacent to it. I could see Dodge Junction. I was close to my own rescue.
I darted towards the city. At last! I was back in civilisation! But my duty wasn’t over yet. First, I’d have to find the sheriff’s office and report the train accident. Hopefully, the passengers would’ve got here before me, and a search party wouldn’t have to come out. Dodge Junction was a big place, though, and I hadn’t been there long enough to know my way around. Where would the sheriff’s office even be? Maybe I should go to the train station instead, there would be plenty of ponies there, especially ponies who would be wondering what happened to Appleloosa’s train. They would know what to do.
The buildings grew closer and larger. Nothing appeared to be the sheriff’s office, but I could definitely see the train station. There was a train waiting by the platform, too. Good. That meant a message could be sent to Canterlot as soon as possible. I didn’t have another enchanted scroll to send to Twilight, so using the mail was the next best thing. She would be worried about me, about all of us. If that explosion had rocked all of Equestria, then the rest of the girls would be desperate to know that everypony was safe, too.
I was close enough to see luggage on the platforms, but there was nopony loading them. My eyes wandered over to the streets of Dodge Junction. They too were empty. In fact, the locomotive in the station wasn’t blowing smoke from its stack, or hissing out steam. I banked right and flew over the streets and rooftops, keeping my gaze on the ground for any ponies. Shouldn’t I be able to hear something at least?
The town beneath me felt empty. Abandoned. The buildings were dark and stoic, and not a sound could be heard from them. If it were night time, maybe this would’ve been normal, but surely not during the middle of the day, right?
An emergency curfew? A mid-afternoon siesta? Was there another sandstorm coming? My head flicked left and right and frowned when I saw that the sky and horizon was clear. My wings tilted and brought me down into the main road, gently kicking up loose sand and dust as I touched down. I stood in the middle of the silent street, and stared at all the darkened buildings around me. Only a breeze breathed in my ears, split up by the creaks of open doors and window shutters twisting on their hinges. This was not at all how I remembered my last visit to Dodge Junction.
Could they… could they really be…?
"No...” I murmured. I could feel my eyes widening. This couldn’t be.
There’s nopony here.
“No!” I wailed as I broke out into a full gallop. I shouted for help, refusing to believe what I was seeing. I banged on doors, peeked through the shattered windows - but nopony was around. My cries turned into unintelligible sobs, and my legs gave away underneath me. I fell into the dirt and cried into my hooves. There was nopony here. Dodge Junction, the busiest town on this edge of Equestria, was a ghost town. The buildings stood among themselves, dark and empty, and not a single pony other than me was left.
Everypony is gone.
There were no passengers lost in the desert the whole time. There were no ponies waiting in Dodge Junction. There were probably no ponies in Appleloosa, either. When the magical shock wave washed over the land, it did more than derail the train and damage these buildings, it stole everypony away. All it left behind were their belongings and clothes, the only evidence that a pony used to be there.
But why am I still here?
I lifted my head up, and barely noticed my hooves starting to dig at the ground. How could I still be here? How did I make it through?
A gasp escaped my lungs. There was a scroll! I was sleeping, and Twilight sent a reply to me through Spike. I woke up in time to see it explode inches above my head. It was turned into something magical and it focused its energy on me. Then there was... There was...
I clamped my eyelids shut, but the image in my mind projected itself as bright as the horrible shock wave itself. If it had been a few seconds later…
What about Twilight? What about Spike?
I rubbed my eyes with my hoof. If Twilight had sent a protection spell to me, she could’ve also sent it to the others, cast it on herself, and perhaps even protected Canterlot. A glimmer of hope shone in my heart. She might have had enough time to save as many ponies as she could, my friends could all be making their way back to Canterlot right now. I need to get there, too. If I can find the others, then everything will be okay. Twilight will know what we need to do. She must know what caused this.
I rose up onto my hooves and looked ahead. Beyond the edge of the town was one of many train tracks leaving Dodge Junction. I was looking at the one leading to Ponyville – home. I looked down at my hooves, my tatty and dirty mane falling away from me in clumps, and sighed. My canteens were empty, my mane and tail were becoming too difficult to manage, and I had another long journey ahead of me. I needed to prepare.
I walked back into the center of town, forcing myself to hum an uplifting tune while I combed through the streets for a building that wasn’t too dark and eerie. I came across a barber shop with its door wide open. Inside I could see a couple of worn seats facing two large mirrors. Tentatively, I poked my head inside and looked around. The place looked like it hadn’t been disturbed in days. If it weren’t for a thin layer of sand on everything, the shop would’ve look like it had just opened for its first customer of the day.
A creak in the shadows tickled my ear.
"H-hello?" I whispered, holding onto the hope that I wasn't completely alone. I stared off into the darkness, waiting for a reply. My heart sank after a minute, but still I kept talking as I cautiously walked inside "I don't mean to trespass, but I, uh, need water, and I was hoping I could refill my canteens here."
Silence loomed around me like a pack of hungry wolves. "I-I'll also need to borrow some scissors, if that's okay. My mane and tail are too long and messy to keep like this. I-I'll cut it myself!" I glanced around, hoping somepony would step out of the shadows, but nopony came. The silent room was frightening me, and I was starting to back away through the doorway when my eyes fell upon a record player to my right. I looked around the shop again while I trotted over to the machine. A record was still sat on the turntable, though covered in sand. I gently blew the grains off and wound the turning key. "I think I'll put some music on, I won't bother you for very long, I promise!" I called out to the darkened parts of the room.
I adjusted the needle to the beginning of the record, and soon the room was filled with the sound of trumpets introducing an up-tempo, jazzy rhythm. I stepped over to the mirror and looked at my reflection. My eyes were puffy and red from crying, and even now tears were still betraying my façade. I looked at the tangles and dirt in my mane, at the headband and its damaged feathers. I hadn’t taken good care of the Buffalo tribe’s gift. A sigh escaped me, and I looked down onto the counter. The trumpets gave way to a stallion singing on the record, while I rummaged in the cupboards and drawers for a hairbrush. I sat myself in the barber's chair, strapped the brush onto my hoof, and started to pull the tangles out of my mane.
I stared blankly at my reflection and it stared back at me. I softened my gaze and tried to smile. "Don't worry, Fluttershy, once you get to Canterlot and find the others, everything will be okay, you'll see."
My reflection's expression fell, and I could see fresh tears forming in her eyes. My gaze sank downward and fell to the teardrops staining the dusty floor.
"Everything will be okay."
I have been following this story since the beginning and I must say there has been a increase in quality that I completely enjoy. The length of the chapters are much more reasonable and I believe the change in storytelling, (from broken, disjointed storytelling to a coherent narrative that is easy to follow) is a good development. I can't wait to see what more we will see of this story
I admit it makes more sense and it is more detailed but I actually miss the disjointed story telling as it was unique and created more mystery. Granted this is a better long term idea but I miss it regardless.
1730578
Thanks, I'm glad to hear that you think the quality has improved. Survivor Shy is my first serious story and art series, so I've had quite the learning curve to just get this far.
I'm aiming to create a narrative that is much more straightforward and organised, but still with some chapters appearing out of chronological order to reflect Fluttershy's scrambled memory and to make the readers have to do a little thinking to work out where certain 'wild' chapters actually belong. Instead of making chapters just a picture with an excerpt related to it, chapters are now going to use multiple images and contain much more text so that they feel more like chapters.
I'm still deciding on what I'll exactly make the second chapter. But I'm likely to be either updating or completely remaking old artwork and story excerpts to keep the quality consistent. At least one picture comes to mind that needs to be completely redone, but that one is later in the story's chronology, so it's not going to be in the next chapter anyway.
This overhaul has been long overdue, and I'm glad to be finally on the ball again.
1730666
Don't fret, the chaotic storytelling will still occur. These two chapters needed to be chronological to ease new readers in. One of the most common complaints I had was that nobody knew how to read this story, because nothing was in order and nobody could tell what qualified as the 'start' of the story.
1726839
Freaking love that game, have yet to beat it though.
1730737
This iteration will still be using the original story's content. It's more a case of reorganisation and updating than a total rewrite. Plus, I'm not going to let 24+ pictures go to waste
I am intrigued, definitely. I hope as we all do that Fluttershy will go ninja and go beserkers on anypony or gryphon or dragon that dares too cross her path.
color me intrigued.
will definitely be giving this a read soon, once i have the chance.
1726839
best commentary in a game ever.
i wish that guy could narrate my life. even reading fanfiction would sound epic coming from that guy.
"the Kid sits down at his desk, computer's already on."
"brings up Chrome, Fimfiction's his home page. gotta have your priorities straight after all."
"Kid takes a moment to finish reading Background Pony, after he's done he cries into his Luna plushie. ain't no story in all of Caelondia so full of feels as that one."
"the Kid's feeling mighty thirsty right about now, that Coca Cola is lookin' real inviting."
*CZZT* *gulp*
"sometimes you just need a drink."
Intensive plot with unsuspecting mystery in the mix. I have glimpse it as a far more than a original, but a classical piece that Flutes now have to face. What would she do in a world of ruin? What choices and decision should she must do to survive in the apocalyptic scenario. And for that, I blame magic, hundred percent and all.
Ahem, now then, onto the review shall we. The story was basic, the prologue was basic, but never have I seen a comic strip in it. You have placed much focus on the prologue part by the way, having the sense of persuading fellow readers, like myself, to be drawn into it. A mysterious story it is and this is what I found extremely enjoying it. Never have I thought I felt...enjoying a mlp story. No offense and all that. This might be one of the few things that I really much want to know what happens next. The direction was 1st pov which is well define and written. Also I admire the style of writing the description and blood, what a crummy title it is. I have thoughts of not reading it because of the title.
The style. Very much appreciative that stories are short. Reading long stories would dull the readers and increase boredom if they were more words about three thousands or more. Short and straight through, that I always say, the policy to get their minds utterly bent and ravaging to know what happen next. Please put cliffhanger for boosting effect
The way of the description of paragraphs. Excellent composition of each things, easily imaginative just by reading. The comic strip did help a boost upon the imagination part, but very well written to that. Yet now, enough of the goodly parts, now it is time for the faults and weakness. I am still not convinced one bit that one pony survives alone while about many disappeared abruptly all of a sudden. I am eager of knowing why she was the only one, but in the other side, I felt as ever the intending unbelief and ever obnoxious.
The way of the story was well composed, but seeing Flutes to be in Appleloosa was downright unbelievable. In the sense of the bearers going around the world, I thought Applejack should be in charge on that destination. Also the other problem is the title, ah, yes, the simple and yet, horrid title. Again, no offense, but I find it unconvincing. Without the description I would have depart and refuse reading, which I am thankful that I am reading now. I would suggest to change the title, but I'll just scratch that, knowing well that you work incredibly on this.
In the overall, I find another good, classic story, worth reading and intensive suspense. The bad part of it all, is the crummy title.
Thank you for update!
Great as always
btw: I caught myself on thought that regardless of fact that I read earlier on deviantart two of three parts of this chapter - it is great pleasure to reread them.
Good work, VERY good work. I especially liked the way you describe how Fluttershy does things and talks to herself. It helps create a very good atmosphere of pure crushing loneliness, and all you have time to do is think and think and think.
I did notice two potential typos, though. Near the beginning, you spelled horizon "horizone" and on this line "My cries turned into intelligible sobs," I think you meant to write "unintelligible sobs." Just trying to help, tell me if I'm wrong.
Can't wait for the next part, keep up the good work
Found you!
I really like how you have the story organized now. I'll be watching for future updates.
Well, I'm going to wait until this is complete to read this.
I hate post-apocalyptic.
I'm loving the revamp so far.
1730889
Stop narrating like that guy from the Bastion!
1839063
"Dodge Junction. . .used to be the gateway to the Equestrian West. Gateway's still standing, there just ain't any gate keepers. . .or anypony else for that matter."
"Mare stops in at the barber shop. Helps herself to a few things, gotta look presentable, even in Calamity."
"Mare acts all polite to the empty room, as if she expects a voice to talk back."
I hate to be "that guy", but in the third-to-last paragraph, that should be, "...I looked down onto the counter in front of me..." Great story though. Loving it so far.
I love post-Apocalyptic stories. And this one does it very nicely.
1854809
This is the greatest thing I have every seen.
Wanderful Story.... i cant think what Fwutters way be going through? I hope she finds somepony soon!!
I am so into this story, though some words that end with "ize" have an S instead of a Z.
I had stopped reading at "Why am I still here?" and didn't scroll past it. I ended up ridiculously excited about a guess I made about the scroll and the magic protecting her somehow. I was talking out loud to myself excitedly saying that must have happened. Then I read more. I have never felt this excited about any story so far, especially one with Fluttershy being so... in character. Not that others haven't done her personality good, I just love how well you did it.
You should know, Fluttershy is my favorite pony. I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE EXCITED TO READ A STORY!
Oh, I forgot to say that your artwork has "HOLY CRAP" written all over it. And I mean that in a whole receiving-a-medal-from-Princess-Celestia-because-you-saved-all-of-Equestia kind of good way. I mean, the illustrations are beyond awesome. And I mean that I like them better than the Hasbro artists.
I like your artwork! ...though, can you lower the barber shop picture? Seeing that pic waaay before we see the barber shop messed with my head. I even imagined a barbershop-cave hybrid. Weird.
6806691 same here, found the story today and the picture kind of confused me.