This is interesting for sure. I think it would be fun if Shiva would bring out the hidden lust of his friends, more so any hidden desires they might have for her master. More than anything else her job is to make sure he is pleased and if he should there be a chance to give him a mare she knows he has desire for as well she will make it happen. That is what my head canon has done here at least, Pinkie has had lust for Spike but never acted on it now tho she has. Which will open up for her to come and see him whenever she has desire. Which will give Spike all the love and attention he has been wanting on top of Shiva. Now he will have the chance to not only get Rarity someone he has been wanting for years, but also Sweetie as well lol. I think Spike will soon ask Shiva to start to give him more sexual skills to make him into a god of intimacy. I mean he wants to be more than good at sex but fucking great and if you have a sex Genie why not do just that lol.
The only real problem I can find is that you need to have someone comb over the chapters for grammar. You have a lot of words that don't belong, aren't spelled correctly, or have gotten the wrong words because they sound the same but are spelled different. (for example: There, their, they're. They sound the same, but all have different meanings.)
You also seem to be capitalizing words that are not nouns (names, in case you don't know), and not capitalizing words that are names, such as Twilight's name in this part, and the word 'clothes'.
“Well how about we get you some Clothes I know twilight got some Clothes that might be able to fit you.” He would look over staring at her large perky breast that was at least twice twilight’s breast size. ‘Hopefully.’
I find it helps to read through some of the more word-heavy stories out there (A good example is Hard Reset. Very dense script at times, but a good story regardless.) and try to compare the writing style of those stories to your own. The point isn't to mimic their styles, but rather to give you a good baseline to work from.
If you'd like, I can look through any chapters before you post them and correct the grammar for you. A friend of mine did that for me and I slowly learned where to make the corrections myself as we went. I'm rather busy right now, but things should calm down in a couple weeks so just go ahead and shoot me a PM if you'd like.
Beyond that, the story itself is fairly good so far. Can't wait for more.
9426340 Hmm sure could do that when things calm down no problen and the clothes part i know why those are capitalised it was my fault i normally spell it cloths insteaf so i had used replaced all and accidently wrote Clothes
I don't know how I got here, but this is a surprisingly novel concept. Also has a lot of potential for shenanigans; How or why did Celestia have something like this in her possession? What is the Genie rulebook? Will Spike find loopholes? Who will be the first mare to suffer a wardrobe malfunction? These are the questions.
Not the whitecoats!!!
9426307
Lol yes XD fear the white coats
This is interesting for sure. I think it would be fun if Shiva would bring out the hidden lust of his friends, more so any hidden desires they might have for her master. More than anything else her job is to make sure he is pleased and if he should there be a chance to give him a mare she knows he has desire for as well she will make it happen. That is what my head canon has done here at least, Pinkie has had lust for Spike but never acted on it now tho she has. Which will open up for her to come and see him whenever she has desire. Which will give Spike all the love and attention he has been wanting on top of Shiva. Now he will have the chance to not only get Rarity someone he has been wanting for years, but also Sweetie as well lol. I think Spike will soon ask Shiva to start to give him more sexual skills to make him into a god of intimacy. I mean he wants to be more than good at sex but fucking great and if you have a sex Genie why not do just that lol.
The only real problem I can find is that you need to have someone comb over the chapters for grammar. You have a lot of words that don't belong, aren't spelled correctly, or have gotten the wrong words because they sound the same but are spelled different. (for example: There, their, they're. They sound the same, but all have different meanings.)
You also seem to be capitalizing words that are not nouns (names, in case you don't know), and not capitalizing words that are names, such as Twilight's name in this part, and the word 'clothes'.
I find it helps to read through some of the more word-heavy stories out there (A good example is Hard Reset. Very dense script at times, but a good story regardless.) and try to compare the writing style of those stories to your own. The point isn't to mimic their styles, but rather to give you a good baseline to work from.
If you'd like, I can look through any chapters before you post them and correct the grammar for you. A friend of mine did that for me and I slowly learned where to make the corrections myself as we went. I'm rather busy right now, but things should calm down in a couple weeks so just go ahead and shoot me a PM if you'd like.
Beyond that, the story itself is fairly good so far. Can't wait for more.
9426340
Hmm sure could do that when things calm down no problen and the clothes part i know why those are capitalised it was my fault i normally spell it cloths insteaf so i had used replaced all and accidently wrote Clothes
9426307
At least it was not a white mare or there will be trouble.
9428923
Lol XD
"I wish that every sex act must be consentual."
That would solve so much crime.
9429606
It would be heh but some wishes are too big even she cant grant XD
YES!!! THE DOCTOR IS FINALLY GINGER!!!!!! *Starts playing the Hallelujah Chorus*
He's never going to want to regenerate ever again! XD
looking forward to next chapter, best story so far.
9431572
heh well I'll be working on it when i get a chance I've got a couple of other stories I'm working on that's been commissioned
9430365
Lol Oh yes, and all it took was for the Doctor to basicly be fucked to death in order for it to happened XD
9433212
thanks for the info.
I don't know how I got here, but this is a surprisingly novel concept. Also has a lot of potential for shenanigans; How or why did Celestia have something like this in her possession? What is the Genie rulebook? Will Spike find loopholes? Who will be the first mare to suffer a wardrobe malfunction? These are the questions.
9437883
Lol well you'll find out more next time XD and glad you like the concept
9430365
That's what you're focusing on? Not the fact that, oh I don't know, HE WAS FORCED TO REGENERATE FROM HAVING SEX!?
9461717
Lol oh yes another one that boticed something funny and crazy
9461717
But also to be honest it was some really good sex and Starlight likes it rough XD
"I wish Pinkie had unlimited stamina. I'd like to see you try and make something sexual about that!"
Do you mean these guys
https://youtu.be/x8qZJBQBX2s
Yeah like that would make sense