• Published 9th Jan 2019
  • 164 Views, 24 Comments

Fallout Equestria: Petrichor - DogiCrimson



Jackpot is on a run in Equestrian wasteland, but soon enough, he needs to face what he's running from...

Comments ( 5 )

Welp... I had promised to pre-read this chapter, but never came around to do it because life is a bitch at times, so I am sorry for keeping this chapter up, both to my fellow readers, as well as to you DogiCrimson. But anyway, ha, first comment!

So reading that first segment did I really notice your level of detail, its not often that FoE stories mentions ear movement unless it is in your face with a character being scared or showing shame. But flickering ears to really show the readers the chaos of sounds is one of the many small details that I love about this story.

Nitpicks:
"There was Grandpa Bucket" Linebreak mistake
"already starting to aim towards the door when familiar figures trotted in." Missing an a
""I couldn't help but laugh a bit" Linebreak mistake
"they all seemed so.. small." missing a period
""We can't go in Barn Sour’s direction" Linebreak mistake
" At that I took quick look down at the foal curled up against my side. " Missing an a
"Finally I just sighed" Linebreak mistake
"We could see the ruins of one of the before war cities" While not wrong, is the more common term "pre-war"

9501483
Should have all fixed - though I was under impression that plural-words ( familiar figures) don't have a or an? Or is it different when there's adjective in front of the word?

Funny thing is I started to work with horses once a week not too long ago, and I've spent my time trying to study 'em since my job is to draw their new name tags for the stable-doors. It's quite fun to watch how they interact!

9501923
Derp, I did not notice that the word was in plural, so my bad

Hayseed is so adorable! :rainbowkiss:

Why you no update! I need myself a new chapther already!

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