Twilight makes a mistake after reading one dusty old book and a naughty letter she should not have touched. Now she must make amends to Princess Celestia and fix a long-broken heart in the process...
This was great and I think Spike is a great fit for this story. I think that Twi isn't giving the REAL Spike enough credit honestly. She HAS to remember the age gap between them isn't that big. He just need a reason to grow. She can give him that reason. I really REALLY hope we get a moment of her confessing her feelings to him and him returning them. I think if they were intimate he would grow to be a match for his mate. I can see it being epic and even more so if he brought Moondancer in as well. Spike having both of the cutest nerd ponies in the series with him lol.
So was this Spike’s consiousnes or was this simply what Twilight percieves him to be based on her memories and interactions with him? If its the latter, that’s kind lf dangerous territory for Twilight to be wandering into declaring her love for a fake instead of just using the clones as wank material like Cadence does. Fake Spike’s gonna be gone by next chapter but I’m guessing Twilight’s feelings won’t. She could try the clones again but it still won’t be the real thing. Thus, she has her romantic clones and the real Spike, oblivious to this whole thing, growing up in his own way and maybe not in the exact same mold as Twilight sees him doing as she expresses in her clones. Of course, she could try grooming him to see more in her than he does now and to be romantically attracted to her but that would open a door to even more issues (and its kinda creepy).
Wow. I really went on rambling about a clop chapter. Sorry. I guess it was good overall but this chapter seemed like it really deviated from the main story. I think I see maybe where you want be going with the last chapter but l thought you could have done a little more foreshadowing than the last line of the chapter. This felt like more of a standalone clop chapter than integral part of the story. Not a bad chapter, mind you, just a little detatched from the others.
9373382 These are some excellent points and while I had thought of a few of these there’s others that had passed me by. I do think this could set Twilight in dangerous territory in the future with her relationship with Spike, and she will need to learn a few hardships of her own. It’s pretty irresponsible of Cadence but that was done consciously, I do not believe ponies like people are always top of their field and she must have made blunders with love to get where she is today. Hopefully I didn’t take her too far out of character. It’s cool that something I wrote put so many thoughts and feelings in your head though. I mightt have done this partly for people to get off to but I also like my writing to make people think and wonder and guess what will happen next. Thank you for enjoying it, thinking about it and having the time and effort to tell me whst you thought. It’s appreciated, that’s why I’m watching you :3 thanks again, All good things, Duskhoof
Nah too much pesdo adultery and incest for my taste.
9371971
Okay, thanks for your feedback, I’ll take it on board for the future.
All good things,
Duskhoof
Decent piece of pr0n. Added to the read-on-a-rainy-day folder.
This was great and I think Spike is a great fit for this story. I think that Twi isn't giving the REAL Spike enough credit honestly. She HAS to remember the age gap between them isn't that big. He just need a reason to grow. She can give him that reason. I really REALLY hope we get a moment of her confessing her feelings to him and him returning them. I think if they were intimate he would grow to be a match for his mate. I can see it being epic and even more so if he brought Moondancer in as well. Spike having both of the cutest nerd ponies in the series with him lol.
OH MY CELESTIA! THIS WAS SO BLOODY HOT> BLOODY WELL DONE MATE! Keep up the epic work! 3000 out of 10!
Dong E X P A N D E D
9371971
I couldn't find the adultery as it felt more like roleplay.
So was this Spike’s consiousnes or was this simply what Twilight percieves him to be based on her memories and interactions with him? If its the latter, that’s kind lf dangerous territory for Twilight to be wandering into declaring her love for a fake instead of just using the clones as wank material like Cadence does. Fake Spike’s gonna be gone by next chapter but I’m guessing Twilight’s feelings won’t. She could try the clones again but it still won’t be the real thing. Thus, she has her romantic clones and the real Spike, oblivious to this whole thing, growing up in his own way and maybe not in the exact same mold as Twilight sees him doing as she expresses in her clones. Of course, she could try grooming him to see more in her than he does now and to be romantically attracted to her but that would open a door to even more issues (and its kinda creepy).
Wow. I really went on rambling about a clop chapter. Sorry. I guess it was good overall but this chapter seemed like it really deviated from the main story. I think I see maybe where you want be going with the last chapter but l thought you could have done a little more foreshadowing than the last line of the chapter. This felt like more of a standalone clop chapter than integral part of the story. Not a bad chapter, mind you, just a little detatched from the others.
9373382
These are some excellent points and while I had thought of a few of these there’s others that had passed me by. I do think this could set Twilight in dangerous territory in the future with her relationship with Spike, and she will need to learn a few hardships of her own. It’s pretty irresponsible of Cadence but that was done consciously, I do not believe ponies like people are always top of their field and she must have made blunders with love to get where she is today. Hopefully I didn’t take her too far out of character.
It’s cool that something I wrote put so many thoughts and feelings in your head though. I mightt have done this partly for people to get off to but I also like my writing to make people think and wonder and guess what will happen next. Thank you for enjoying it, thinking about it and having the time and effort to tell me whst you thought. It’s appreciated, that’s why I’m watching you :3 thanks again,
All good things,
Duskhoof