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Just now recovering from an aggressive disease, spending too long in a hospital takes more than time from one particular pony. He'll need help to get his spirit back, and finds it in a most unexpected place...

5th place in the /fic/ write-off "Sweet Music".

First Published
3rd Sep 2012
Last Modified
3rd Sep 2012
#1 · 115w, 6d ago · · ·

A question comes to mind after reading this interesting Fanfic is there another chapter?

#2 · 115w, 6d ago · · ·

>>1211467

I don't have plans to continue this story. It was constructed over a weekend, and I never really thought beyond the ending. It's meant to be a cute, short, uplifting tale and nothing more. :twilightsmile:

Benman
Site Blogger
#3 · 114w, 7h ago · 1 · ·

Nicely done. This is a simple concept, handled well, and neatly wrapped up in a pleasantly short package. I particularly liked Color's mom in this. You did a nice job of conveying that sort of subtly infuriating but necessary assistance that only parents can provide.

The pacing did seem a little off in the second half. In both versions I saw, I felt like the main conflict got resolved after the CMC's visit, and everything after that was denouement. There was some good stuff in that latter half, but putting so much of it after the climax made it a bit shakier than it otherwise would've been.

I was impressed with how streamlined the character interactions were. The supporting cast members show up, teach Color what he needs to learn, and then get out of the way of the story. As a result, the plot fits together neatly and economically.

#4 · 113w, 6d ago · · ·

Incoming EqD swarm. A surprisingly low view count for a fic that got there, strangely.

Will read later.

#5 · 113w, 6d ago · · ·

I actually want to learn the banjo, so this story is one after my own heart, thank you for writing it. :ajsmug:

#6 · 113w, 6d ago · · ·

I do believe that you captured Applejack's personality perfectly. I applaud thee. Twas a good read.

#7 · 113w, 6d ago · · ·

Heh. Seemed to me like he was hit by some sort of cancer or whatnot :applejackunsure:

However, plot went well, no errors, and was featured on EqD. Good show!

#8 · 113w, 6d ago · · ·

>>1293947

Aye, nothing like a piece of hearty Applejack to lift up your spirits! :pinkiehappy:

#9 · 113w, 6d ago · · ·

This was part of a fanfic write off a month or two ago correct?

#10 · 113w, 6d ago · · ·

I felt you handled the interactions between Bound and all the other characters quite well. Each interaction was believable and in character, which is pretty damn impressive in a fanfic in my opinion. :twilightsmile:

#11 · 113w, 6d ago · · ·

That was such a nice ending, had me smiling ear to ear. I especially like that last sentence.

#12 · 113w, 6d ago · · ·

>>1294318

Correct. There's a link to said contest entries in the description. If you're really curious about the contest, I believe there is a link to the Ponychan thread where the write-off was organized. There should be another one coming up fairly soon, I think.

#13 · 113w, 6d ago · · ·

>>1294940

I knew it! Actually that entire write off is posted on this site somewhere, I just don't remember what it was titled. As far as I'm concerned yours was in the top 3 (only because I don't completely remember what other stories were in that compilation, it might have been my #1 choice then but I can't remember.)

You receive my like and my fav.:pinkiehappy::twilightsmile:

(Those are them respectively)

#14 · 113w, 6d ago · · ·

>>1294873

I know right! He (if the author is a she :derpytongue2:) could have totally gone the [sad] route but that ending was just what we needed.

#15 · 113w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1286408

Disregarding your comment entirely, you have what is possibly the best avatar picture on any site ever.

You can picture anything you want, looking at it no less than 3 separate pony pictures ran through my head and I went :pinkiegasp: that is so great I have to comment on it and I did and it is this comment and I'm rambling and I should stop now. . . :twilightsheepish:

#16 · 113w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1286408

This comment is wildly amusing to me.

You see, when I first submitted this to EqD, I downplayed the climax quite a bit. It was all of perhaps 3 sentences. However, the pre-reader actually kicked it back to me and told me the weakest point was how short the climax was. After re-reading the story, I decided he had a point [and I'd still change it even if I know what I do now] and added about three paragraphs to it, but I expressed the concern that I might be solving Bound's dilemma too early.

I think I actually put myself in a poor situation there. I needed to shift Bound's perspective and the story tone before they became one-dimensional, but, in truth, the dilemma couldn't be resolved at the climax. If you dig a little more into the story, you can tell there are still serious loose ends at that point; a little inspiration wasn't enough to make everything better. However, the way it's written, it feels like the story could end.

So I had to find the Goldilocks tone for the climax. Maybe I hit it, maybe not. But that's the story behind that.

Benman
Site Blogger
#17 · 113w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1295324

That prereader was me, actually.

I noticed the pacing issue in my first readthrough, before you expanded the climax. In my opinion, the current version doesn't resolve Color's issues any more than the old one did. The difference is that now the story handles his growth explicitly, rather than hinting at it. You're entirely right that the story needs to tie up all the loose ends and follow through on Color's arc, and frankly, you do a good job of it. Still, it felt odd to have the climax at the story's halfway point. I'll admit that I'm more wedded to the traditional three-act structure than most, though.

(I considered bringing this stuff up in the EqD letter, but decided that would be treading dangerously close to writing your story for you. I try to keep a distinction between my positions as a prereader and my opinions as some jerk with an internet connection.)

#18 · 113w, 5d ago · · ·

Wonderful story! But I was tripped up a bit when Applejack was trying to give him the banjo. Surely part of honesty is stating reality as it is? Just seems off to me is all. Great story anyway, the kind that makes me glad I found this fandom.

#19 · 113w, 2d ago · · ·

Very sweet, Any chance of more though? I'm really interested in hearing more about this character and his hopeful continued improvement.

#20 · 113w, 7h ago · · ·

Amazing story. Incredibly uplifting. Thanks for the read!

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