Detective jakkid166 in everything

by jakkid166

Detective jakkid166 in Cupcakes

(this story is not canon)

One of the days of daying, I was the detective who is jakkid166. It was a bright day, of the sun was not became the moon yet, where the wind was blowing through the breeze.

“Ahhh,” I said, drinking the air into my lungs. “I love the smell of Ponyville. It smells like horses”

I looked at a pony who was Walking Down The Sidewalk (which is the name of a good music album) and her hair looke dlike frosting so I was reminded by that that I was hungry. So I decided the best place to go was the Sucar Cube Gorner.

I pulled my bike out of my pocket and rode it to the place that was Sugartube Corner and I rode in through the door and I sat in a chair.

But to my own surprise, no one was THERE!

“wtf the fuck?” I said and I looked around at my eyes. “How long does it take to get SERVICE AROUND HERE?” And I saw a bell on the counter and I took out my gun and shot it and it BIM a BANG

And the very moment the bullet bounced off the bell and bounced off my glasses, the counter spitted up a Pony and it was Pinkie Pie.

“WHEEEEEEEEE” SCREAMED PINKIE PIE “HELLO DETECTIVE JAKKID!^^ HOW ARE YOU DOING TODAY? YOU ARE THE FIRST MY CUSTOMER OF THE DAY TODAY SO THAT MEANS YOU GET FREE FOOD.”

i took my figner off the shift key and said “oh sweet cool. i will take 3 cups of cake”

“Alright” said Pinkie and she handed me 3 cups with cake in them.

“Sweet” I said and I drink the cake. Now I was going to go do my Detective Job, but then I remembered im on Fall break so I didnt have to do it.

Later on Rainbow Dash entered the place through my the front door of the my Pinkie Pie’s my house. Pinkie Pie’s house

“Oh hey Rainbow” I said and I waved at her but I was holding the cupe cake when I did it and I accidentally threw the cupcake at her and it smashed on her head and gave her 3 concussions.

“Thanks Jakkid” said Rainbow. And she went to go to buy a food desert.

“Hey jakkid you should leave out now,” said Pinkie. “We are closed.”

“Alright” I said. “Come on Rainbow lets go somewhere else now.”

“NO!” said Pinkie. “Rainbow has to stay so she can buy her cupcake.”

“But you said youre closed.”

“No Rainbow is our last customer.”

“Okay then I’ll wait until she leaves too”

“No Jakkid LEAVE NOW!”

And I pulled out my Badge and said “Don’t yell at me or I will arrest you for detective yelling!”

“God fuck damn it” said Pinkie. “Fine” And she gave Rainbow a cupcake and she ate it.

And I stared at Rainbow really intently, so hard intently that her fur started to burn. But then Rainbow CALLAPSED on the GROUND!

“What you fuck?” said me. “What happened to Rainbow?”

"She got really tired from being so full, she is a sugar comma," said Pinkie. "Im gonna go put her in bed so she can sleep out the cupcake." And she picked up Rainbow and took her downstrairs to the basement. "Im gonna put her in the hot room so she can sweat the cupcake out of her sweat holes"

"Cool" I said and I ate some more of my cupcake because nothing was wrong.

~ LATER ~

I was still in the Sugarcube playing on my PS Playstation Vita V and playing Danganronpa on it because it sucks. But then I heard a SOUND!

"Oh sweet my lunch is ready" I said and I went and opened the micorwave and took out my Trader Joes Chicken Curry microwave meal I brought with me from my world. I opened it and was bout to Chow Down but then I realized something.

"What is that not curry smell I smell?" I smelled. So I went over to the basement staircase while eating my curry, but there was a Big Locked Door that was locked with 16 locks.

"Wow that's a door," I said. "And it's locked with 16 locks." And I took a bite of my curry with some rice. "I wonder whats behind it"

But then I heard a SCREEEEEAM!

"WHAT" I said and I took another bite and got out my detective badge and showed it to the door. "Door, I am Detective Jakkid166 and I demand you let me in right now."

But the door did not open, so instead I took m y detective lock pick out of m ypockets and started lockpicking the lockpick door.

I kept lockpicking all the locks but it was taking forever. So instead I reached into my tool box and got my SUPER LOCK PICK which is just a big hammer. I smashed the locks a bunch and I kept hearing screams but I finally uncocked the door and OPENED IT AND DASHE DTHEFUCK INSIDE

But when I got in there what I saw was the most sockening sight of my life. It was the sight of Pinkie Pie, she was covered in blood and also gross stuff that I cant say the name of cause I dont want the story to be rated M.

"Pinkie Pie what are you doing? Who is screamin? Why is your hair fat"

But then Pinkie pulled a gun and said "Get out Detective jakkid or else I will kill you."

But then I pulled MY gun and shot her gun out of her hand hoof and said "No you cannot do that. Now why are you covered in blood?"

But then I saw on the table, there was RAINBOW DASH! And she was becomed a DEAD!

"Whooooooa" I said. "What heppened to Rainbow Dash?"

"She tripped and fell on my chain saw and all her insides fell out," said Pinkie.

"Damn that sucks" said me. "How did she get strapped to the chair?"

"Uhhh thats my secret surgery chair I used to try and surgery save her life."

"Damn that sucks that you couldnt save her. Its okay Pinkie you are a hero" and I gave her an honor airy detective badge of honor.

"The last question of the mystery" I said "Is how did she fall unconsious onto your chainsaw?"

"Oh right" said Pinkie "I think the cupcake she ate had somethi ng in it."

"WHAT?" I said and I was angry. "What could that be?"

"Maybe drugs?"

"THAT" is not acceptable

I pulled out my drug testing kit to make sure. I picked up some of Raindead Dash's blood off the floor and put it in the testing machine, and the machine tested it POSITIVE for SLEEPING DRUGS!

"Rainbow what have you done???" I said and I was disapointed at her. "Winners dont do drugs! Except weed"

"Well now what?" said Pinkie and she looked at the flies around Rainbows body.

"Now I've gotta arretst her for doing drugs," I said and I got my handcuffs out.

"What" said Pinkie "But im not done surgerying her yet!"

"Sorry but it is the law." And so I pulledout my hand cuffs and handcuffed her and pulled her off the table and dragged her to the door.

"Wait what jakkid where are you going?" said Pinkie "Youre on fall break remember?"

"Yeah but she did drugs, I have to arrest her. Besides if I dont arrest enough people I might get fired" so I pulled the dead Rainbow out the door and took her to the police station and they put her body in a prison cell and she had to do ten years.

THE END

Comments

[Caesar Salad]

I read this story to my dad, and he loved it! He only hit me five times, and that's usually how many times he hits my mum too, so he must have loved it! I hope Detective Jakkid comes to Fortnite, so he can get the number 1 victory royale!

[Pickleless]

He’s both the chocolate and the peanut butter.

[AstralMouse]

(this story is not canon)

I almost had to stop right here. Almost. Implying that something the great Detective Jakkid166 is in should not be canon? Heresy. I'm still glad I continued though, because, even though right at the beginning you admitted it didn't really happen, it's still good to see even the very concept of another criminal facing great justice at the hands of Jetective. In fact, it might be just as important as canon Jarvis166 solving real canon crimes because it will show the criminal scum they have someone to fear. Jakkid666 can even stop real fake crimes this way. Wow, is there anything Jacked116 can't do?

Anyway, thanks for writing this, even if it's not an official police report like the previous chapter was.

[CassandraMyOCisBestpony]

Drugs are bad mkay

[Thought Prism]

At this point I might as well just preemptively favorite every story you put out.

[Raccoon Writer]

....I understand about none of this, yet I somehow enjoy it.

[TheBadWriter]

what is with that like to dislike ratio? this is hilarious!

[PresentPerfect]

I pulled my bike out of my pocket

I had no idea Detective jakkid166 was a Kamen Rider.

How could anyone downvote this?

[Boopers]

This good case solved gg

[Gale Maze]

I was still in the Sugarcube playing on my PS Playstation Vita V and playing Danganronpa on it because it sucks.

Well that settles it. Jakkid166 could go burn down an orphanage and floss on all of the charred corpses of the children within while strangling puppies to death, and I'd still say, with no doubt in my mind, that it is literally impossible for him to do wrong.

[MelodiousCreschendo]

"Yeah but she did drugs, I have to arrest her. Besides if I dont arrest enough people I might get fired" so I pulled the dead Rainbow out the door and took her to the police station and they put her body in a prison cell and she had to do ten years.

This is fucking brilliant.