Death was part of life; Celestia was well aware of this. But she refused to accept the death of her closest friend, her best advisor... her beloved. And she would do anything to get him back.
There are some errors like rage instead of race from this line:
"Changeling rage exterminated like the vermin they were"
Also, maybe use a few synonyms here and there to make sentences flow better:
"Thomas would always take the time to sit down and listen to her troubles, and ease any impending fears or troubles she had."
^ This passage doesn't feel like it flows as well to me. A little fixing these errors will really improve this story. There aren't that many problems though so don't worry.
Other than that, I would like to see more. Ever since Zamairic left, no one has really filled his niche for stories like this one. You're doing a good job, and I hope to see the next chapter soon!
9647204 Thank you for all your attention to detail. I appreciate it. I'll be going over and editing this chapter tonight. I'm not the most experienced writer, but I try my best. Which is why feedback is very important to me.
As well, Zamariac was one of my main influences. It's a shame he left. I'm just happy he has some completed stories he left on the site.
9648141 Don't worry about experience. The most important thing is just to write. You will learn in time to catch writing errors, and improve the stories flow.
So i curious is Thomas going to become the new leader of the changelings because he has almost all of chryssy's magic and will it end up puting him in conflict with celly. Or will her blind love for him temper her need to exterminate all of the changeling race. If not celly will lose her mind and sanity if she ends up killing her "beloved"
There are some errors like rage instead of race from this line:
"Changeling rage exterminated like the vermin they were"
Also, maybe use a few synonyms here and there to make sentences flow better:
"Thomas would always take the time to sit down and listen to her troubles, and ease any impending fears or troubles she had."
^ This passage doesn't feel like it flows as well to me. A little fixing these errors will really improve this story. There aren't that many problems though so don't worry.
Other than that, I would like to see more. Ever since Zamairic left, no one has really filled his niche for stories like this one. You're doing a good job, and I hope to see the next chapter soon!
I'm loving this story so far!
9648103
He's confused with everything going on around him. I'll try to elaborate more on this in the next chapter. Thanks for reading!
9647309
Thank you so much!
9647204
Thank you for all your attention to detail. I appreciate it. I'll be going over and editing this chapter tonight. I'm not the most experienced writer, but I try my best. Which is why feedback is very important to me.
As well, Zamariac was one of my main influences. It's a shame he left. I'm just happy he has some completed stories he left on the site.
9648141
Don't worry about experience. The most important thing is just to write. You will learn in time to catch writing errors, and improve the stories flow.
So i curious is Thomas going to become the new leader of the changelings because he has almost all of chryssy's magic and will it end up puting him in conflict with celly. Or will her blind love for him temper her need to exterminate all of the changeling race. If not celly will lose her mind and sanity if she ends up killing her "beloved"
9650637
You'll have to wait and see :)
9650675
Aww drat i was hoping for a hint or small spoiler. Oh well i'll wait
9650675
There is more, right? This story will be finished?