A 14th Century Character List in Celestia’s Court
Antiquarian sat at his dark oaken desk in the midst of his expansive study, quill scratching away as he tried not to fall asleep mid-sentence. A critic had once observed that the study and its owner suited each other well: a stuffy old room filled with dust, antiques, and archaic books, all battered and worn, and a dusty brown unicorn in faded tweed jacket, his disheveled brown mane and mustache turning mostly to grey and his forest green aura and eyes darkening with bitterness. Antiquarian had not disputed the critic other than to note that he had plenty of modern books as well, and that his aura and eyes had always been dark.
His secretary, the ever-patient Miss Aura, bustled into the room, her pale coat and red-gold mane a bright mote of youth and energy in the archaic room. She opened her mouth, likely to make some remark on Antiquarian’s state of disrepair, but paused, suddenly thoughtful and not a little confused. “Didn’t we already do this?”
“Do what?” asked Antiquarian, his eyes not rising from his work.
“This,” she repeated, gesturing to the room. “This whole…thing. I feel like we did this exact introduction for your interlude chapter.”
Antiquarian’s brow furrowed. “Interlude chapter?”
“Don’t play the fool, Antiq. It seldom suits you.”
“Ouch,” muttered the aging stallion. “Well, fine. You caught me. The readers have been after me to put out a chapter with basic character descriptions so that they can keep everypony straight.”
“So why the repeat intro?”
“Because technically, my dear, we’re characters too, and I’m too tired to rewrite what I felt was a brilliant description of us.” He sat back with a smirk. The smirk evaporated when Aura frowned. “What’s the matter?”
“It’s just... It’s a little sparse is all,” she admitted. “You don’t say your cutie mark, mention the five-o-clock shadow you’ve got going, how bloodshot your eyes are—”
“That will do,” he muttered.
“… and, to be frank, I don’t get much description at all. You don’t even say what race I am.”
The stallion harrumphed. “Fine. My cutie mark is a dark green book the color of my eyes and aura with a sword on the cover and a quill crossed over it. As for you my loyal aide, your eyes are light blue, just like your aura because, like me, you are a unicorn. You tend to wear a simple black blouse and a red jacket that complements your fiery golden-red mane and tail, and your cutie mark is a golden-edged clock with an infinity symbol at the center to symbolize your limitless patience, especially with the train wreck that is my conscious mind. Your full name is Aura de Patience, and I simply cannot function without you to keep me on track. Happy?”
Aura gave him a smile that was both fond and censorious. “No need to be so hard on yourself, sir. This is your project after all.”
“Yes, yes, and it’s my readers who demand this of me,” he grumbled. “Now be off with you, or you’ll be late for your date!”
She smiled and headed for the door. “Thanks, boss. Don’t stay up too late.”
“I’d say the same to you…” he trailed off when she shot an arch look back, “… if I didn’t know you well enough to know that any stallion that gets fresh with you will be in for a painful introduction to the pavement.” She smiled. “All the same, feel free to remind him—”
“That you’ve studied the torture techniques of every decrepit and wicked empire on the planet. Yes, I’ll be sure to mention that if he welches on the tab,” she remarked dryly.
“Have fun!” he called out as she left. His fond smile faded as he turned to glower at the readers.
You, specifically.
“Now listen up!” he barked. “I’m going to do my best to keep this updated, and I’ll put the characters down in order of what chapter they appear in or, in the case of ponies like Oaken and Ironhide, what chapter they’re described in. Not alphabetical order, because that might mean spoilers later on. So don’t scroll too far down, or you’ll have no one to blame but yourself. If I miss anyone, let me know what chapter they came in on to make it easier for me to add them. I’ll also add specific armor and uniforms at the start if I think of them. If the description isn’t here, then it might just be a canon character, so check before you yell at me. As for why this is a separate story, well, I plan on adding some non-canon chapters here and there for fun as well as some world-building chapters that don’t really fit the narrative but will still be canon. Those of you who wanted complex theology will find it in the latter category. As for the former… well… let’s just say that any of you wondering how Friar Jacques would have reacted to being dumped in, say, Equestria Girls might just get your answer some time in the future.” He allowed himself a wintery smile. “Happy reading.”
Uniforms
Royal Expeditionary Force (REF) Armor
Steel-colored base, with gold and red trim and red crests on the helmets. The armor has a slightly more medieval cut to it than the Solar/Lunar armor, though, like them, it still emphasizes a blend of medieval and Greco-Roman.
The Solar and Lunar Guards
“But Antiquarian,” I hear you saying. “They’re in the show! We know what they look like.” That’s true, you do, but since the guards are always one of two coat/mane colors for the first several seasons, I’ve taken to the rather common fan-theory that, at least until recent days, the Equestrian Royal Guards have glamour enchantments cast on their armor to make them appear uniform.
Equestrian Army Full Dress Uniforms
See the Royal Wedding. Dress Reds for officers. Dress blacks for enlisted.
Equestrian Army Dress Uniform
Worn when not in armor but also not in full dress. Green uniforms akin to WWI/WWII era British Army uniforms or modern U.S. Marine Dress, with brown belts and piping. Individual specializations (like the Fusiliers, REF, Solar, and Lunar Guards) which still fall under the Army designation will have different insignia. Separate units like the Marines or the Rangers have uniforms that are similar but have added piping and slightly different cuts to differentiate.
Equestrian Military Intelligence (EMI) Dress Uniform
Same as above, with the emblem of the crossed swords and watchful eye.
Equestrian Chaplains Corps Dress Uniform
Same as above, with the emblem of a blazing heart (Hearths Warming-style) with a sword behind it. Roanan collars and black 'clerics' are worn under the uniform tunic in place of standard shirt and tie.
Equestrian General Infantry (GIs or “Regulars”)
A plainer version of armor similar in cut to the others, with steel grey plate and ultramarine crests.
Royal Marine Corps (RMC)
A plainer version of armor similar in cut to the others, with blue-black steel plate and black crests. On land, they often camouflage their armor to suit the local terrain and wear helmets without crests. The armor also has a tendency to lend itself more to the medieval than to the medieval/Greco-Roman blend of the Army. Broad-brimmed and full-face helmets are common.
Royal Navy (RN)
Naval armor is often lighter than its Army and Marine counterpart, with a few steel plates covering critical areas. The uniforms are blue with red piping.
Royal Fusiliers (RF)
A plainer version of armor similar in cut to the others, with steel grey plate and pale green crests and red piping.
Equestrian Auxiliary Corps (also called “The Reserves”)
A plainer version of armor similar in cut to the others, with steel grey plate and olive drab crests.
Equestrian Air Corps (EAC)
Unarmored flight suits resemble the standard Wonderbolts rig, while combat rig resembles what was seen in the Crystal War universe. The standard base color is always blue, but other unit insignias replace the Wonderbolts colors in both cases.
Equestrian Rangers (ER)
Technically, a plainer version of armor similar in cut to the others, with steel grey plate and dark forest green crests, piping, and cloaks. It should be noted, however, that Ranger uniforms vary broadly. Many eschew the crest entirely, and armor is often more medieval than Greco-Roman. Broad-brimmed and full-face helmets are common. When Rangers operate in small squads or singletons, they often eschew any sort of uniform entirely, and even in full units ‘uniform’ is more of a note that the dark green barding of the Ranger is present somewhere under the varied kit (some military, some civilian, some bandit) that the Rangers have acquired.
Dramatis Personae
Captain Argent Sabre
Unicorn mare. Magenta coat. Crimson eyes. Silver mane and tail, vaguely similar to Trixie’s in cut but slightly shorter and much more meticulously maintained. Fit. Lean. A soldier’s build. Cutie Mark is a trio of gold-and-silver hilted sabers – the central one has a red tassel hanging from it, and the other two are crossed over it. Silver/white magical aura. When in uniform, her armor is almost always immaculate, with the addition of red chords and tassels (equivalent to what you might see on a WWI era UK full dress uniform) and golden flourishes – as much showiness as she can add without breaking regulation.
Friar Jacques de Charette
Tall. Broad-shouldered without being heavy – he has a bad case of lean old man strength. Pale eyes and weathered features. A full beard and head of hair, mostly iron grey and white at this point but at one point dark brown, borderline black. Many, many scars and gnarled hands. Thus far mostly only seen in black Hospitaller robes or his Templar armor.
Brother Andrew
Tall. A little taller Jacques, in fact, and though he is a touch thinner he is still quite strongly built. Square-jawed and blonde haired, generally attired in his Templar garb.
Prior Methuselah
A truly ancient man of Moorish descent; dark-skinned, weathered, and wrinkled. Bald, but with a thick white beard that stretches almost to his waist. He is generally blind, but is in some chapters seen with chocolate-colored eyes.
Medevac
Pegasus stallion. Former Marine medic, and it shows. Still wears his silver-grey mane and tail in a short soldier’s cut, as we see on the Crystal Guards in Season 6 or the security guard in Read it and Weep. Brown coat with darker brown eyes. His left rear leg is a metal prosthetic that reaches up to his haunch. His cutie mark is an upwards pointing silver-white arrow with wings outswept from it. It’s usually covered by a white labcoat.
First Sergeant Brick
Earth pony stallion. Big Mac’s size. Brick-red fur with darker red mane and tail, cut similar to Big Mac’s. Eyes are brown-red. His cutie mark is exactly what you think it is. He’s usually in an up-armored version of REF armor and carrying a truly massive maul.
First Lieutenant Morning Song
Earth pony mare. Alabaster white. Thick, loose-flowing black mane and tail with golden streaks. Dark blue eyes. Cutie mark of an eighth-note with a sun for the ball. Often seen in REF armor with heavier-than-standard hoof guards.
Corporal Thresher
Earth pony stallion. REF. Dark green fur that’s almost blue it’s so dark, with red hair fringed with that same green. Dark blue-green eyes. Cutie mark is a threshing tool that looks more like a military flail than a farming implement. His weapon is the same.
Mason Grey
Earth pony stallion. Grey-coated, with a distinguished white mane cropped like a businessman’s. His cutie mark is a stone smith’s compass and stylus. His favored outfit is often something to the effect of a dapper blue jacket, rose tie, and gold cufflinks and pocket watch of the highest quality. He has begun to show wrinkles in his age (middle-aged).
Colonel Earnest Query, “Ernie”
Earth pony stallion. Heavyset, aging, with dark grey coat and black come-over. Usually wearing glasses (the large ones of the 50s/60s). Cutie mark is a question mark. Usually seen in an EMI Dress uniform.
First Lieutenant Close Watch
Unicorn mare. Pale blue coat. Icy blue eyes. Blonde mane and tail. Very lightly built, but lean rather than weak. Gold magical aura. Cutie mark is a magnifying glass. Usually seen in an EMI Dress uniform.
Sandstone
Earth pony stallion. Golden-brown coat. Brown mane and tail. Average size for an earth pony, but slightly below average strength. A trio of sandstone bricks for a cutie mark.
Sea Breeze
Unicorn mare. Cyan coat. Short blue-green mane and tail. A little on the small side, but not so much as to really stand out. A cresting wave with a wind current overhead for a cutie mark.
Brother Tweed
A wizened old unicorn stallion of tweed color and tweed jacket with glasses and the air of a professor.
Brother Thornberry
Earth pony stallion. Dark blue coat. Black mustache, mane, and tail. Fiery red eyes. Stocky. Cutie mark is his namesake.
Colour Sergeant Krucjata Włócznia, “Fritters”
Unicorn stallion. Scruffy chocolate brown coat. Red and white mane, tail, and stubble. Bloodshot icy blue eyes. Lanky and lean to the point of appearing cadaverous, but with deceptively wiry muscles. Cutie mark is an upheld spear with gleaming tip and red pennant. Red magical aura. Generally seen in REF rig with a long-bladed spear and (sometimes) two additional spearheads hung at his side like shortswords.
Staff Sergeant Marble Slab
Pegasus stallion. Red coat. Three tone mane and tail: grey, off-grey, and off-white. Unusually short, but compact and muscular rather than small. Cutie mark is a marble slab shaped vaguely like a Roman tower shield. Generally seen in REF rig with a large shield (cut like Flash Magnus’, but with REF colors) and a gladius.
Kiln “Quartermaster”
Earth pony stallion. Pale, ash-grey fur. Short mane and tail the color of burning embers. Eyes of the same color, with pupils and irises that are a shade unnaturally large. White suit jacket and fedora (the former of which covers his cutie mark) and a tie of the same color as his hair and eyes. Half a head larger than Big Mac and muscular in the extreme without appearing disproportionate.
Kuro Ken
Unicorn stallion (of Far Eastern descent). Off-white coat. Black mane with a widow’s peak and slicked back in a ponytail (his tail’s black too… just realized that could be confusing with actual ponies). Pale green magical aura. His cutie mark is a pair of crossed black katanas.
Inkling
Nope. Just… nope. I mean, she’s a mare… but… beyond that, nope.
Dagger
Pegasus stallion. Russet-red coat. Silver-grey mane and tail. Grey eyes. Cutie mark is a trio of daggers, each of a different style, each crossed over each other. Usually armed with wingblades.
Falx
Unicorn stallion. Purple coat. Brown mane and tail, both pulled back in braids. Tall, handsome, fit. Dark green eyes. Favors the falx and hook, and his cutie mark is one crossed over the other.
Sai
Unicorn stallion (of Far Eastern descent). Pale blue coat with white mane and tail. Blue eyes and magic aura. Cutie mark is a sai.
Thorn
Pegasus stallion. Very dark green with crimson mane. Dark red eyes. A little shorter than average. Cutie mark is an ouroboros that appears to be of a twisting green vine with red thorns rather than a standard serpent.
Guillotine
Earth pony stallion. Pale cream coat. Black mane and tail. Tall, broad, and portly. Wields a massive headsman’s axe. Cutie mark is a pair of axes crossed over each other.
Silhouette
Unicorn mare. Jet black coat, mane, and tail, and midnight blue eyes and aura. Her cutie mark is a dancing unicorn of midnight blue with subtle stars in her coat. Favors the arming sword.
Cloak
Unicorn stallion. Silver grey muzzle and hooves are all that show beneath his black cloak. Lean.
Lance Corporal Comet
Unicorn stallion. Solar Guard with the white-and-blue glamour active.
Private Oaken
Earth pony stallion. When not attired in the Lunar Guard armor and under the effects of its glamour, he has a brown coat, darker brown mane and tail, and forest green eyes. His cutie mark is a coat-of-arms: a grey shield bearing the symbol of a towering tree of brown and green.
Private Ironhide
Unicorn stallion. Even without the Lunar Guard glamour, he has the standard slate grey coat, silver mane and tail, and golden eyes of the Lunars. Silver magic aura. Cutie mark is an iron chain shirt.
Specialist First Class Bound Glyph
Unicorn stallion. Light blue coat. Gold mane and tail. Red eyes. Cutie mark is a basic control glyph for magical wards. Often attired in Solar Guard regalia with the white-and-blue glamour.
Professor Page Turner, PhD
Unicorn stallion. White-coated. Greying brown mane and tail. Cutie mark is a book with a page mid-turn. Favors garb like his trademark fashionable green turtleneck.
First Lieutenant Snapshot
Unicorn stallion. REF. Barrel-chested. Dark plum coat with a black mane and tail and a receding maneline. Cutie mark of a crossbow being swung upwards into a firing position.
Sergeant Miru
Pegasus mare. REF. Wiry build. Light tan coat with grey mane and tail, all of which are often scruffy (though clean). She has white tattoos patterned on the paint of her ancestors, the Austailian Aborigines. Cutie mark of a Miru spear-thrower and spear.
Chaplain First Lieutenant Trench, Cleric, Ordos Solaris
Earth pony stallion. REF. Pale peach coat and light brown mane and tail. Glasses. Cutie Mark of a blazing Hearths Warming heart with a trenching shovel behind it.
Corporal Booker
Unicorn stallion. REF. Company Clerk for Argent Sabre. Pale blue coat with midnight blue mane and tail. Thin, bespectacled, with a fastidiously clean and precise uniform at all times. Cutie mark is a record book with a penknife resting on the cover.
Edmare Burke
Unicorn mare. Narrow, aquiline features, somewhat like Fleur's. Cream coat. Long, fiery red hair. Emerald green eyes; she's often seen wearing fine yet simple garb of the same color. Speaks with a Braelic (Irish) accent. Minister of Trade. A leading member of the conservative Crown Loyalist Party ("Tories" in parlance) currently part of the Tri-Party Government (coalition of Crown Loyalist, Centrist, and Labour Parties). Daughter of the esteemed stallion Edmane Burke, a CLP statespony inspired by the real-life Edmund Burke. Like her father, known for a passionate desire for ethical reform tempered by a cautious 'slow and steady' approach (though she can be more openly fiery and blunt in her delivery than her venerable father).
Gerhardt Griff
Old griffon tom. Grey, grizzled, and hardy even in his age. Dresses in the green of a master shipwright from the Griffish Isles. Speaks with a Low Trottish accent (Cockney). Descendant of the first griffons to settle in Equestria after the Great Diaspora. Former union dock worker, retired Captain of the 4th Talondon Fusiliers, retired master shipwright and business owner, current Minister of Commerce. Member of the Griffon Patriotic Movement (Independent), which is currently part of the Centrist Party and the currently part of the Tri-Party Government (coalition of Crown Loyalist, Centrist, and Labour Parties). Blunt, abrasive, and genuine in his care for his country and its people.
Plum Pit
Earth pony stallion. Plum coat. Dark, long, curly brown mane and tail. Chancellor Exchequer. Long-time member of the liberal Labour Party ("Whig"), currently part of the Tri-Party Government (coalition of Crown Loyalist, Centrist, and Labour Parties). Speaks with a High Trottish Accent (well-to-do London accent). Venerable, principled, patient, and stoic. A reference to real-life William Pitt the Elder, who fought corruption and sought reform, much like Edmund Burke.
Steel Weave
Unicorn stallion. Thin. Immaculately coiffed white mane, mustachios perfectly curled, pointed goatee neatly trimmed. Pale blue coat well-groomed. Wears things like: a salmon-colored peacoat and frilled collar like a gentleman sailor of the Coltibbean. Foppish. Dandyish. Surprisingly talented blacksmith and enchanter. Husband of High Crest.
High Crest
Earth pony mare. Sandy coat and curly nutmeg-brown mane. Wife of Steel Weave and equally well-groomed. Wears things like: an intricately woven sea-colored dress that evokes images of waves, complemented by pearl necklace and earrings. Dandyish. Foppish. Surprisingly talented blacksmith and enchanter.
Forge, Temper, and Quench
Earth pony, unicorn, and pegasus stallions, respectively. Eerily similar in appearance. Soot grey coats, coal black manes, brown eyes. Much-dirtied from forge work. Shaggy coats and fire-blackened manes. Sons of Steel Weave and High Crest. Talented blacksmiths and enchanters, to no one's surprise.
Crescent Strike
*coming soon*
Steel Halberd
*coming soon*
Haven’t even read it yet, and already adding it to my Gems folder, because let’s face it: I’mma need to read these. XD
A door suddenly popped into existence, and out peeked a head.
"Tis a heavenly gift, Antiquarian, but must you be so grumpy?" asked Yutah, a small smile on his face.
"If you don't mind me saying, cheer up! From the sounds of it, you have a great assistant. Then again, I guess that she must tell you off enough as it is. Oh well, tada!"
The door closed, fading out of existence.
9251922
Antiquarian stared at the missing door, then jotted off a message to himself. "Note to self: speak to Celestia about improving security around the university to account for dimension doors." He paused. "Note to self: speak to Celestia about getting Miss Aura another raise."
"Trixie feels insulted and she isn't sure why."
Also, I get the feeling that Inkling would be proud of creeping you out too much to describe her.
In any case, thanks for the dramatis personae. Looking forward to future supplements.
9251958
A letter suddenly appeared on Antiquarian's desk, complete with a fancy coat of arms stamped in wax.
To Antiquarian,
I'm sure that Miss Aura will appreciate that raise very much. Also, give her my regards.
P.S. Don't count on being able to block my doors. I have my ways, as this letter proves.
From, Yutah
9251979
Antiquarian put down the letter. "@#$#%," he said mildly.
9252011
"Language and hey it could be worse, it could have been like that time Discord enrolled because he was bored." Krovgor than took some time look around at his surroundings. "How did I get here anyway?"
9251979
Are making my friends life a living misery? If so please continue.
9252275
I dunno. Magic?
9252287
Yeah probably.
Well then. Jacques could easily be mistaken for Saint Nicholas. I wonder if that’s a coincidence.
9261566
St. Nicholas minus the paunch he's often portrayed with. I could see it, though. Admittedly, I've seen some fairly hardcore, over-the-top St. Nicholas vs. (insert horrifying monster) comics where he lays down some holy destruction.
9261754
I was thinking a sleigh covered in spikes and with flaming runners, drawn by reindemons, backed up with a death metal cover of “O Holy Night” as he duels the Krampus to a standstill.
9261819
Make it reingels. He is a saint, after all. And, trust me, the cutesy little cherubs don't the the actual portrayals of angels any justice. Let's just say there's a reason that every time they show up in Scripture they lead with "don't freak out."
9261990
This kinda makes me have a hankering for Jacques telling some ponies about what angels are described as, and seeing them quiver as they imagine a... being that has to keep its six golden wings wrapped around itself, for to lay your eyes upon the naked body of a seraph is to have your eyes melt out of your skull because of the angel's sheer brilliance.
Luna, were she present for such a telling, would likely roll her eyes and consider such things comparable to Celestia throwing a tantrum over Discord having replaced all of her desserts with spiders.
9261819
Its a Warhammer Christmas.
A scroll this time, backed with a strange black metal that inconveniently sheds magic.
The Esteemed Antiquarian,
You really should speak with Celestia about the state of the wards on your university. They are shockingly lacking, barely enough to contain random surges from the student body, let alone anything deliberate. It begs the question of whether a proper Warden has even been contracted. If such blatant disrepair is indeed the norm, the university budget is in dire need of an audit.
In any case, if the Good friar's transportation arrangements have hit a snag, just have him break the enclosed crystal. I'll be along presently to retrieve him, and speed him on his way. He's gotten over that dracophobia issue, right?
P.S. You bought a privacy rune-circle from F&F Enterprises? Why would you trust anything those two brothers ever touched?
With regards, Venerable Ro
All fun aside, I think a good point for Jacques to visit the EQG-verse would be during that Anon-a-miss business. one of those Strangers-meet-in-a-nighttime-park set pieces. Frankly, the poor friar would have a terrible time with the modern world, but distress? That feeling of total loss and abandonment inflicted on Sunset? Jacques would know what to do there. Not to mention, that incident is likely one of a very few things that could move him to genuine fury.
Just a thought, 'twould fit right In with this subtheme of care and hope your story has acquired.
9273867
To the Venerable Ro,
The budget is indeed a matter of concern, and I believe that the 'ward expert' we contracted suffered from a severe case of stupidity. On a more positive note, the random magical surges of students has proven to be a wellspring of opportunities for the other students to practice defensive and containment magic, and has also provided me with a somewhat guilty form of entertainment.
With regards to transportation and his fear of dragons, it would probably be best to limit his interactions to Spike until he has had more time to acclimate. The last thing I need is Redheart getting in my face for putting him (or someone else) in the ER again.
With regards to F&F Enterprises, I confess that I made the mistake of purchasing from a subsidiary of theirs which I was unaware belonged to them. To make matters worse, I made the mistake on the one sick day that Miss Aura has taken in the last seven years, which has now led to her flatly refusing to take sick days. How she avoids getting sick is something of a matter of debate, but my personal theory is that she scares the germs. She won't even take them when I'm sick for fear that I'm faking it to go behind her back and disorganize my office more than usual. She only takes vacations when I do, and that's only because she sets my itinerary and knows that I wouldn't skip anything on it to come into the office. The long and short of it is that, if you knew of any sales, I would be grateful for the opportunity to replace the garbage system I currently own.
Regards,
Antiquarian
As far as Anon-a-Miss goes, while I'm sure that Jacques would handle the situation well, the downside is that I would actually have to read Anon-a-Miss in order to write such a fic, and the plot synopsis of that comic was enough to make me rather flatly declare it 'non-canon' in my mind. I'll consider it, if only because of how Jacques would handle it, but there's a good chance that I won't. Thank you for the suggestion, though, as I believe it has merit even if I likely won't act on it.
9275333
The runes on the metallic scroll flash with a warm ivory glow, before fading away. New words swiftly appear upon the pristine surface, inscribed as if by a fine chisel. Or a sharp claw.
To the inimitable Antiquarian,
On the subject of budgetary issues, you have my condolences. It is so hard to find good work these days, folk simply don't seem to value quality anymore. Has the school board perhaps considered enlisting some of the senior students? While an apprenticeship program might not produce the best results, nearly anything would be preferable to the wreck you have hanging over that campus at present. You are aware that it is accumulating charge from the student's surges? When it fails, or worse, grounds, things are going to get...Bad.
But I'm certain that the princesses have everything under control, 'tis not like a huge mass of unstable mana would go unnoticed in the midst of Canterlot.
So on to the subject of the good friar. I am sorry to hear that he is still having troubles with his preconceptions. Though I can hardly blame him, the Sons and Daughters of Fire do not have the best of reputations. So alas, if his journeys lead him astray I would be unable to provide any direct help. He would not appreciate my true form, and he would sense something amiss with any guise I took. Short of knocking him out and stuffing him in the proverbial sack, my presence would not help anything.
And finally, I suppose I could be persuaded to handle a bit of spell-craft on your behalf, it is always a pleasure to work in Equestia. Such verdant mana fields allow for some truly beautiful enchanting...
(Several large divots appear on the scroll, as though something heavy were being tapped upon it)
Why not? I'll do it myself, for the pleasure of replacing an abhorrently shoddy piece of work, and for a favor. As you may know, gemstones have limitless use in enchanting, and many other facets of spell craft besides. Gemstones native to Equestria in particular, are unusually pristine and bountiful. If you could direct, and possibly introduce me, to a purveyor of gemstones, particularly fire opals, I would be pleased to work any sort of enchantments you might desire. Within reason, of course.
P.S. And please give my compliments to Miss Aura, pride-of-duty such as she displays is always worthy of praise.
As always, Venerable Ro
well you're quite welcome, "nothing ventured, nothing gained", as they say. I can certainly understand your position, goodness knows there are stories aplenty, here and otherwise, that I've no care to read or even contemplate. I am confident that whatever you do decide to write will continue to be of the highest caliber.
9275951
To the Mighty Venerable Ro,
I should first begin by noting that this is not Antiquarian, but Aura (thank you for your compliment by the way). I'm writing because today was a certain Zephyr Breeze's first day in Antiquarian's "Introduction to Military History" class. After the class ended, my employer returned to his office, went to stare out the window, and began smoking his tobacco pipe (don't worry; it's enchanted not to harm him). That was six hours ago. He has neither moved, nor spoken. As such, the standard protocol is that I handle the mail.
Thank you on both our behalves for the offer of enchantments. Without him to sign off, I don't know what all he might request, but I feel comfortable ordering some replacements for the 'security' which Flim and Flam have provided up to this point.
Aura broke off writing when Antiquarian emitted, without warning, an unearthly shriek of rage and grief before lapsing once more into silence.
And perhaps something which has a palliative effect upon overly-stressed minds.
Warmest Regards,
Aura de Patience
Your confidence in my ability is appreciated.
With another mellow glow, the runes on the scroll once again vanish, making way for newly-carved text.
To the redoubtable Miss Aura de Patience, and the learned Antiquarian,
Ah, the younger generation. It is such a, joy, to instruct them in that which should be known. In my day, disrespect was met with a brisk thrashing and a confiscation of tribute. a whelp was much more attentive after having to explain to his sire where part of his inheritance went to...
But this was in a different time, and a different society. I suspect the reaction to hurling this "Zephyr Breeze" out of a window would not be positive? A pity.
In any case, on to the subject of enchanting. Now, to be honest, it is difficult to tell just what benefit your previous system was supposed to impart, if any. It is remarkably shoddy work, to the point of incoherency. I cannot tell if it was meant to provide personal protection, work-place protection, or home security. I can provide some generic personal protection now, but anything tailored would have to be done in person.
A moderately sized box appears on the desktop in a shimmer of ivory light. It is made of smoothly polished dark mahogany, and is bound in brass. Inside the box two sets of jewelry rest on a velvet lining. Each set consists of a silvery brooch, engraved with a seemingly random pattern of swooping lines, and an amulet.
The amulet is larger, and quite intricate. Circular, and made primarily of electrum, the outer edge is scalloped silver, while the interior is a twisting spiral of gold. Set equidistant in this spiral are a ruby, sapphire and pearl. At the center of the spiral rests an iridescent black gemstone identifiable as a black fire opal.
While I am aware of the Equestrian habit of customizing jewelry with the customer's mark, such customization would of course require an appointment. In any case, these should do until an appointment can be made for proper work to be done.
Firstly, the brooch is designed to ward off scrying and other methods of magical eavesdropping. If it detects any such attempts, it will warm and vibrate softly until tapped twice or the attempt fades. It works by making the warded one "slippery" to target, causing most spells to slide off and attach to other random bystanders or objects.
The amulets, on the other hand, are something special. These are curse-catchers, proper ones. A bit of an extravagance, honestly, but that disaster hovering over your university worries me. These amulets detect and absorb magical energies that would otherwise harm the bearer. The three gemstones represent the body, mind and spirit. At the center is the reservoir, in this case a fire opal. The curse-catcher will consume and contain harmful magic until the reservoir is full, at which time the gemstone will shatter, rendering the amulet useless.
Since I have used a fire opal, that event would require princess Twilight's hostile participation. Please do not lose these, the components are difficult to find.
These should do quite well for the immediate future, until such time as we can schedule an appointment for some tailored work. In particular, protecting your office would naturally require my physical presence.
As to stress relief, I believe I could manage something for calming sleep, but I would need to do a bit of tinkering.
As always,
Venerable Ro
9278818
To the profoundly generous Venerable Ro,
I convey our deepest thanks for your assistance now and in the future. Now, I apologize for the brevity of this missive, but Antiquarian has begun cussing in Old Ponish, which usually precludes an attempt to storm the bastions of erroneous ideologies (i.e. the universities which produce students like Zephyr Breeze) and burn them to the ground. And, as amusing as that would be, I would prefer that the old stallion not be jailed for arson. Until next time, may your paths be safe ones.
Warmest Regards,
Aura de Patience
9279385
In a hastily vacated office silence reigned. only moments ago, the air had tuned blue with the guttural cursing for which old ponish was rightly renowned. Following which had been a clatter of hooves and two voices, one swearing incendiary vengeance on lazy scholarship, and the other threatening a bucket of ice-water.
But now the silence lay thick on the air, before once again suffering interruption. A faint scratching noise, emanating from a inexplicably supple metallic scroll which had been hastily set aside.
To whomever first reads this missive, be it Long-suffering Aura, or impetuous Antiquarian,
I am pleased to hear my efforts were well received, though in all honesty, they were truly generic. I had made those a while back, 'twas simply a matter of retrieving them from their case and placing them in an appropriate box. Custom work is always superior.
In any case, it seems important matters have come up, I am not so arrogant as to imagine that my correspondence need occupy your total focus. Please take care of whatever demands your attention, I can wait. After all, I have all the time in the worlds.
Eternally,
Venerable Ro
9280901
That was fun. I declare this all more-or-less canon.
9281716
It was, wasn't it? I thoroughly enjoyed myself. And I am now peripherally canon to the peripheral canon! I feel honored. Do let me know if you ever need some thingamajigs made up, I find I have a metaphorical eye for such.
Oh, since Venerable Ro never made an actual physical appearance, here's what he looks like, roughly.
cdna.artstation.com/p/assets/images/images/008/265/374/large/maria_-roklain-.jpg
The ivory loong, not the wind drake. He would have pulled the old, huge creature fits comfortably in small room without either altering dimensions trick on arrival.
Hmmph,millennia old and he's still not tired of the "I'm much larger than you thought I was" joke.
But for actual conversation, (and work!) he would shift to a more convenient form.
img15.deviantart.net/bdab/i/2006/129/0/e/sage__s_afternoon_nap_by_njoo.jpg
9282043
I feel rather like that second picture most days.
I do recall that fan-theory about the armor glamour, with the additional stipulation that it promotes uniformity, and also to ensure that none could be singled out for retribution
Also the following:
*poke*
9977696
And, lo, I hath been poked.
9281716
A particularly grizzled gnome sits at a tiny desk, head bowed. From the darkness around, a stick appears and begins poking. Sighing, the gnome rubs the sleep from his eyes, then makes a very rude gesture. Around his neck, a stone collar flashes runic symbols and the gnome begins jerking and spasming in place. As the runes fade, he makes another rude gesture, then picks up his quill.
Dear book horse,
Zephyr Breeze is in the Guard.
Signed
Word Gnome
10380150
That's just evil