I stayed up, finishing my bottle of whiskey and watching the sun rise over Ponyville. The birds started to chirp and sing their melodic mating cries, "I used to wonder what it sounds like to Fluttershy, seeing as she can talk to animals." I chuckled to myself, looking around I saw that no one else was in the park with me. I put my feet under my legs and pushed myself upwards, slowly. I didn't want all the blood rushing to my head and wind up being right back where I started. Speaking of starting, where do I start? The logical side of my brain is just saying to finish the case and move on, but how can I?
Tia was right, I was seeing the consequences of my actions and I was stuck. Do I tell them the truth and see what happens, or do I write those letters and leave? I sighed as I couldn't find an answer in sight. "Um, excuse me?" I heard a familiar soft voice pipe up. The smell of pine trees tickling my nose. It was the actual Fluttershy.
I turned to her, "May I help you?"
She saw the bottle of whiskey in my hand and looked at me, "I think you're the one who needs help."
"I'm not an alcoholic, I was just...frustrated." I said.
"I know it's tough." Fluttershy said, "You're scared of what would happen if you found out the truth, aren't you?"
"And if I am?" I asked her.
"Everyone is scared of everything, even the princesses." She said.
"What do you think the princesses are scared of?" I asked the girl.
"Loss." Fluttershy said, "They never showed up to his funeral, I think they were scared of losing the closest thing they had to family."
"Was he that important?" I asked her.
"He was the most important person in Equestria." Fluttershy said, "But he never felt like it, he was constantly pushed to the side. He had to care for himself, he was left alone a lot of the time. We never treated him like he was meant to be treated, he was our friend and we didn't show it." She started to sniffle, then she wiped her eyes, "We all miss him, and I know he's not dead. However I can't help but feel like, we're dead to him." Tears rolled down her cheeks and she wiped them away, "We have to move on however. We have to keep moving forward. Some of us can't move forward without some closure though." She looked to Twilight's castle.
"That's what I do, I provide closure." I said.
"I know who you are really Mr. Drake." Fluttershy said while still looking at Twilight's castle, "You're very well known for closing your cases within a week or so but it's been almost an entire week and there's not even a shred of evidence of where Spike went to. It's because you're too close to the case isn't it?" She asked. I said nothing and looked down. She looked at me, "I don't blame you." That caused me to look up, she continued. "I would've done the same thing in your position."
"Really?" I asked, at this point I was just tired of the deception. I had changed, but I couldn't lie to her. Not to Fluttershy.
"Like it or not, it was a cycle of abuse. That abuse being false promises and abandonment. The worst thing you can do to a friend, is make them think that they were never your friend to begin with." Fluttershy said. She then came over and hugged me, "I'm sorry."
"When did you figure it out?" I asked her.
"I suppose I always knew since I first saw you after all this time. Your look may have changed but your eyes, they still showed that you cared." Fluttershy mumbled into my chest, "You always showed that you cared, even when we didn't."
"I don't know what to do." I told her while hugging her back.
"What do you want to do?" Fluttershy asked.
"I want to go home, I want to go back to my rickety apartment in Manehattan where one of my neighbors keeps hitting on me even after I told her a million and a half times no." I said.
"What's stopping you?" Fluttershy asked.
"There's a part of my brain, scratch that. A part of me that doesn't want to let this go, I saw what happened and I want to come back and try make it right." I told her.
"What is there to make right?" Fluttershy asked me, "You left for your own sake."
"Did I?" I asked.
Fluttershy brought her hand up to my cheek and looked in my eyes, "Spike. Don't lie to yourself. Why did you really leave?"
"I was scared." I looked down, she tilted my chin back up to look at her.
"Why were you so scared?" She asked.
"Because I was hearing voices, they were telling me to hurt people." I admitted, "They told me to hurt Twilight."
"Why didn't you say anything?" Fluttershy asked.
"Because no one would listen to me. Everyone always said maybe later Spike, or not right now Spike, or I'm busy Spike can it wait?"
Fluttershy was speechless. She could see how much he was hurting, she pulled my head into her breast having me listen to her heartbeat. "Then that thing with Applejack and Rarity happened." She said.
"That's when I found out that the only person who truly cared about me is me." I said, "I had to leave, but life, or the universe, or hell even elements of harmony just want me here. I don't want to be here, I don't want to be hurt again." I fell to my knees, my head aligning itself with Fluttershy's stomach.
Fluttershy picked me up and put my arm over my shoulder. She may look small but she's wrestled with bears, and that takes quite a bit of strength. She took me to her house and lay me down on the couch. She took the bottle out of my hand and disposed of it, "Sit up." She commanded and I didn't refuse, she slowly took off my coat and hung it up. She went to my button up shirt but stopped, "Can you do this yourself?"
"No." I said hoarsely. I was just...tired, of everything at this point. I don't know if it was the fact that it was actually Fluttershy or the alcohol or what I was just...exhausted.
Fluttershy unbuttoned my shirt, took off my tie, took off my shirt then folded them, placing them together. She looked at the scars that wracked my body, and slowly reached out. Touching them, slowly tracing them with her fingers. "Where did go? After you left?"
"I checked myself into Manehattan Psychiatric Hospital." I explained she gasped and sat down next to me. "The voices had developed while I was constantly left alone in Ponyville, the doctors had theorized that because I was left alone so many times at such a crucial stage in my development that my mind had made a way so I could never be alone."
Fluttershy looked down, thinking of all the things that had happened for the person before her to just break. He must've been so scared, he just wanted his friends to help him. She thought to herself. She leaned over and hugged me. "This is long overdue. I'm so sorry."
It was at that moment that the floodgates just opened and I started to cry, to actually and truly cry. I couldn't take any more, I was just broken. Flutters pulled me over to her and hugged me tight, tighter than ever before.
Fluttershy looked down at the sight before her holding him. How long has it been since someone's done this for you Spike? Why did it take so long? She closed her eyes as tears leaked out of them, slowly running her fingers through his hair.
She could hear him mumbling, "I just wanted my friends." repeating himself again and again.
"You've got me now." She told him. "I'm just so sorry that it took so long." Holding the broken man in her arms, she swore to herself, to everyone and everything watching, listening, or even thinking of this moment. "I'm never leaving your side again. I promise you that."
i.redd.it/617woveqx9n21.png
*sniff* This is so beautiful!
(secretly hoping for a FlutterSpike ship)
They aren't your friends Spike, you have Stockholm syndrome man.
i thought it'd be pinkie to be the first one to notice. gg fluttershy
SAD
You know what would be interesting? Before Spike find a way to tell to Ratity, Ember would confront her from what she did to Spike and how clueless she is. And making Ember so angry while confronting Applejack and start a really fight. Leaving Spike to tell the truth while Ember, Rarity and Applejack were fighting.
I can’t, I’m trying not to cry about the end of this chapter but it’s god damn to difficult to hold in.
If I could like a story twice I would. This is so good.
Right in the FEEL! Your right though, got to put an end to this roller coaster ride!
You'd think the fact they've been admitting their mistakes and looking for him ever since he abandoned them could be proof to him they care.
All aboard the feels train!
10206457
Dude after all the shit they put him thru, even if they admit they fubared so badly does not change the fact it took THIS THIS ALL THIS to make them see it finally.
How in the heck is he to really trust they change, and not revert back to the way it was before?
It basically abuse, emotional, and mental and even physical abuse, and neglect as well, he went thru tot he point of going insane.
His adopted mother was useless as wet noodle, and only realized that.
Yeah so why would he jump at the first chance to admit who he is after all that. No no the fact he actually now thinking of it, is a miracle.
10206525
Is this story based off of personal belief of the series or is it an AU.
That's something I'm wondering.
And Le cycle de abuse begins anew.
I am unsure how to take this. One side I do want to see it fixed and resolved and the cycle is over, the other side I want to see it that they never figure out for it’ll mostly likely just go back into the cycle so I am at a crossroad. It’s still a good story that much is true but again I am unsure witch way to lean. I do hope to see more and this finished!
First of, I love the story. Everything in this story is perfect, (I wouldn't change it one bit). Why I like the story so much is because of spike, he is pretty much the centre of the whole thing. Basically Celestia (from my understanding, correct me if I'm wrong) loved her son (spike) and allowed him to live his life the way HE WANTED to live it, wich the Element Bearers would never allow (from my understanding). But still a piece of me wants him to reveal himself and show what he has become, while I also at the same time don't want him to at all. But dude awesome story. I haven't been this hooked to a story since Fear Within
10243806 Thanks man. You and I have the same opinion about fear within.
'That's the thing about the past, it always finds a way to catch up with you.'
I'm know that's a quote, I am not sure who made it first, but it fits the theme for this story. I eagerly await the conclusion to this tale.
Carry on, author.
10274034
For the life of me I cannot remember where I put that in the story.
10296494
I'm not sure if you did.
Still, I got that impression and it fits the story.
Will there be an update to this wonderful story?
10317305
In due time. I’m getting life things sorted out.
10317745
Thank you, you're amazing, as always such on point writing and beautiful storyline
I'm loving this story
Any idea on the etc of the next chapter
I need moawr!
I need more please