A Strange Thought

by CraazyAutumn

Questions

Starlight watched as the mare entered the room. It was.. Her!
She let out a small gasp, the one even a spider cannot hear. Wait, spider?

The second Starlight~or rather the fake Starlight grinned as she put away a book on the table, bringing a chair to sit on.
Starlight tried to not move, but she couldn't help it. She just couldn't.

She twiched her leg, and the second Starlight looked around to see where did the noise come from.
Starlight's horn began to glow, attempting to teleport back to where she had been. But it was too late.

Her magic teleported her behind the other her, walking away, but hitting the wall.
The second Starlight looked at the intruder and asked:
"Who are you?"

Starlight looked at the face of the mare she seen as herself.

"My name is Starlight Glimmer. And who are you?" She asked.

"Nopony you should care about," The second Starlight replied.

"Tell me," she asked.

"No."

"Tell me."

"No."

"Tell me," Starlight asked once more.

"Well, you."

"No, you're not. You cannot be me," Starlight replied.
The horn from the second Starlight began to glow. She walked up to Starlight, who looked at her in fear.
I wont be telling. If you ask me once more...,"

She pointed her horn on Starlight.

"You won't know who you are," she continued.

"Well then, where am I? Can you at least tell me that?" Starlight asked.

"No. You won't be telling anyone you've met me, and you'll know my name."

Starlight hesitated. Although, she answered with a:
"Yes."

"Good."
The horn from second Starlight glown with bright light, making Starlight to cover her eyes with her hooves.
All of a sudden, she was in her bed. She watched as the sun was still up. She decided to walk out of her room and start to ask questions.

She trotted down the stairs that led to her room, looking both left and right. She saw nopony.
"No guards? Now it's really getting serious," She thought to herself.
She wanted to ask someone to find Twilight's room and speak to her, but there was no chance of seeing anypony, she knew so.
She went to the throne room, going off to see the princess. Yet, all she saw was the same as previously.
Nopony.

Author's Note:

Will be making a follow-up story to this one. Wont leave it like this
Hope y'all liked this one.
P. S. Sorry about the short chapters. Trying my best on making them longer.

Comments

[KamikazeKawaii]

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Boy that was fun

[Xanderfox]

OK some common issues.
1. Single Chapter Length story cut up into pieces.
2. Script style story. Just dialog and actions, no descriptions of location, mood, expressions of characters. So it's boring.
Fine for a first draft, not a completed story. Needs serious fleshing out, significant lengthening to justify 3 chapters. Remember in written works you have to tell your audience more that what is said and simple descriptions of actions, we can't see the visuals in your head unless you tell us what they look like.
Going to tell it how it is, in this form the story is dull and uninteresting. There is the spark of something, use more that metaphorical kindling.

[Starlight Glimmer1]

Yeah this could’ve just been a single chapter. There are also grammar errors and it’s rushed.

[CraazyAutumn]

9253070
Thank you, I'll try my best to fix those mistakes.

[Xanderfox]

9255991
Glad your not giving up.