This is a story about friendship, light and darkness, and how sometimes even the most unreasonable sins have reasons.
Sandbar's life has been great. His friends from the school of friendship are awesome, his crush on Ocellus blossomed into a wonderful relationship and in general he's never been better.
But then a much anticipated visit from an old friend turns his whole world upside down and inside out.
I would like to say a huge thank you to my now traditional proofreader: PinkDragonJr whose help made this story look actually like a story written in English instead of my usual rather clanky pile of words.
P.S. This was originally a rewritten version of Jay David's Old Friend, No Longer which since then been merged with other stories to create the "The Young Six" anthology. Though since the original concept my story has changed a lot and now it has basically nothing to do with his original story but a few excerpt from the beginning of the first chapter can still be found which are directly copied from his work.
I debated myself for a long time whether I should change that part and the OC's name but I decided that as a token of my respect I will not. After all without his story this wouldn't exist. Of course I have his permission.
Wow… i don't have more words to describe this story…
You did an amazing job writing this story!
9434120
Well thank you I sure had my fun writing it.
Why aren't more people talking about this awesome story!?
9508315
I've heard it's kinda boring at the beginning. I admit it's back-loaded but I thought the little hints that I left here and there, are going to be enough to keep the readers attention given that it's not that long. Turns out I wasn't right.
It's fitting that a unicorn named "Comet" is the one who completely destroyed Sandbar's entire worldview. After all, they used to be considered harbingers of doom.
9615997
While I pride myself on my ability to to put little little bits of foreshadowing and references within my stories I have to admit that I was not the one to come up with Comet's name.
With that being said I was definitely playing with this idea of comets being the harbingers of doom for example "Comet Sighted" is meme from the Paradox Grand strategy title Europa Universalis VI (may have been part of the earlier iterations but I didn't play with those ones). It is a random event that occurs every so often and decreases a crucial metric of the country you're governing. Since that metric is stability it seemed rather fitting because that's pretty much what happens with Sandbar.
This was a nice read! There were multiple points where a phrase might have sounded better with a comma or two, but otherwise, this was a nice, enjoyable piece that definitely deserves a thumbs-up. Good work.
9843095
I used the help of a native speaker to edit this story but it seems he didn't do a perfect job. Can't really balme him though I very regularly murder commas in my own language.
What a good fanfic base on Sandbar
Hello, a review for your story has been posted. I hope you find it helpful.
Holy mackerel that was pretty heavy story you made there there's so much to say but I guess it left me speechless still it was still painful to hear that this was a pretty interesting story
10662012
Hehehe... I'm glad you liked it. If you ever manage to get your thoughts together, you are more than welcomed to voice your ideas, I'm always happy to discuss my stories.
10662053
I read that chapter from Jay David and yeah it was pretty mean for what comet said and done I guess he had a reason for it but two wrongs doesn't make it right but hearing the side of your story my God that must be very tough and kind of scary and sad
10662398
Well yeah, I didn't really like Jay's version of this story. I felt like he was sort of arguing against a strawman. Don't get me wrong I like Jay's work for the most part, I think he has really good, light hearted ideas and he executes whimsical one shots fairly well, but here he was really out of his element.
When you are arguing against something so fundamental to human nature as bigotry, you have to make the best argument you can possibly make for the side you are arguing against. That's what I attempted. I dare anyone to find any mistake with Comet's reasoning, there isn't much. If you can keep your values when you are arguing against someone like him, and not because you are blind or bigoted yourself, then you have earned the right to call yourself a man.
You know that rant she was saying kind of reminds me how Will Smith was ranting about his father not being there for him 😔
10663396
Well both you and Jay have a reason for having Comet for hating changeling after the Canterlot wedding attack even though what he said is very painful and very meaningful to Ocellus even though she didn't do anything wrong but it's just like the sons of the fathers they always will blame the child for their parents for there bad Deeds and it's quite unfortunate