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A thousand years before Nightmare Moon returned, two brothers came to Equestria, intent on stealing Equestrian magic. But one of them saw the goodness in the peoples he once opposed.
His brother, however, wanted to conquer the lands he loved. So, with little other options, Scorpan must use force to stop him.
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I've only gotten a few lines in, and I've noticed something: the convention is to put thoughts of a character (especially when they alternate with a third-person narrator) in italics. Otherwise, it can get a bit confusing to tell the thoughts from the narrative.
9128540
Like I state in the author's note, I'm trying to emulate Orson Scott Card in the way he writes out thoughts. That guy never uses italics. I was confused the first time I read Ender's Game as well. I dunno, I thought maybe there was something to it that makes the character's thoughts more natural.
I'll admit, it's a nice little story. I really loved the dialogue between the two, it felt really genuine.
This is great, it really feels like a backstory to ARLA.
“You were my brother, Anikan! I loved you!”
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Clever one, to catch the reference.
9136869
Thanks! I don’t know much about Star Wars, but a friend introduced some of it to me so I at least know some of the good quotes.
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Brotherhood and Betrayal + Dark Souls 3 Main menu theme = HOLY SHIT! THAT WAS AWESOME! :D
9195399
You know what? Best comment I've gotten so far on this.
this story is amazing!!!!
Man, the feels! It was so painful to read, because I knew it wasn't gonna turn out well for them. This story was great btw! A great one shot between Scorpan and Tirek and how their bond was broken. The part with Faust/God was nicely written too! I sometimes feel like Scorpan did about god, but at the end, I convince myself that all of it this for a greater purpose.
Good job again. Keep on writing more amazing stuff like this and Pony Of Vengeance.
9370279
And I've got plenty of more awesome material! This story, plus Firestorm Destroys Something Rather Important and A Rather Large Adventure, all take place in the same universe.
You certainly have a knack for writing these two. I liked their intensity, though compared to your other story featuring then, this Scorpan felt overshadowed by other characters and events.
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Thanks for the comment and analysis! It takes place in a whole different universe. A Rather Large Adventure chronicles most of the events and characters mentioned here.