Congratulations Celestia! You are literally DooM'ed countless dimensions for your idiotic "right" thing to do! Achievement: "Super prissy princess - numerous death edition" Achievement: "Best assistant of Demons - Spike is jealous edition"
Damn, I’m looking forward to some more of this. Anyways, have some constructive criticism
Take this paragraph I stole from the story
However, Celestia simply walked inside and inserted her horn into the far wall, which also opened up, revealing a rather large elevator. Twilight was taken aback by this.
“Twilight was taken aback by this.” Yes, you got the point across, but a better way to phrase it would be; “Twilight was stunned; Her mouth agape.”
Getting the point across in a story is important, but the difference in a good author and a great author is how they phrase it.
All in all, I’m exited to read this. You have potential, young one.
9112711 Yeah but the problem is... with the Doom Slayer stuck in stone in Equestria.... Who the hell is beating the shit out of Demons in the rest of the Multiverse? <.<;; Keeping him in stone like this is LITERALLY what the Demons would want since they can't kill him....
Equestria will prolly need to renew their history books everytime the Mane 6 (and Spike plus Starlight) “defeat” a new enemy. Celestia needs to go out more, especially since all that cake ain’t doin’ any favors for her flanks.
One of the scientists, a unicorn who had a gold star on the shoulder of her lab coat, approached the two. "Ah, Princess Celestia. Here for another checkup? We haven't really made any progress since you last came down here."
The Doomslayer isn’t evil though? He actively fights against the demons no matter the cost. If anything, he’s a force for good, just a really brutal force.
I just finished playing DOOM 2016 and I gotta say, I agree with the comments with the whole sealing him. But! I have yet to read the next chapter, so that might change. Great start!
"Celestia stuck her horn into the door". Lewd.
Doom? Done.
And then Twilight does something stupid and wakes him up .......
If the slayer is in Canterlot, then who's keeping the demons back in Hell?
LETS GET SPOOKY
Congratulations Celestia! You are literally DooM'ed countless dimensions for your idiotic "right" thing to do!
Achievement: "Super prissy princess - numerous death edition"
Achievement: "Best assistant of Demons - Spike is jealous edition"
9112566
thats usually how it goes, with twilight doing something way out of her league
I’m intrigued!
9112670
Eh, she might just be keeping him around for "Break open in case of Demons" scenario.
9112711
Mortally challenged, please, not demons.
Nice start, can't wait to see what comes next!
Damn, I’m looking forward to some more of this.
Anyways, have some constructive criticism
Take this paragraph I stole from the story
“Twilight was taken aback by this.”
Yes, you got the point across, but a better way to phrase it would be;
“Twilight was stunned; Her mouth agape.”
Getting the point across in a story is important, but the difference in a good author and a great author is how they phrase it.
All in all, I’m exited to read this. You have potential, young one.
9112711
Yeah but the problem is... with the Doom Slayer stuck in stone in Equestria.... Who the hell is beating the shit out of Demons in the rest of the Multiverse? <.<;; Keeping him in stone like this is LITERALLY what the Demons would want since they can't kill him....
Celestia is best Demon helper xD
ok i'm curious
I'm intrigued. Thus far we only have a tidbit of setup, though. Keep going, let's see what this becomes.
quite interested in a doom cross.
Most curious... most curious, how will this go?
i like it, keep it up.
Equestria will prolly need to renew their history books everytime the Mane 6 (and Spike plus Starlight) “defeat” a new enemy. Celestia needs to go out more, especially since all that cake ain’t doin’ any favors for her flanks.
Is that a JoJo reference
So Doomguy is just chilling in stasis with the super shotgun huh?
The Doomslayer isn’t evil though? He actively fights against the demons no matter the cost. If anything, he’s a force for good, just a really brutal force.
I just finished playing DOOM 2016 and I gotta say, I agree with the comments with the whole sealing him. But! I have yet to read the next chapter, so that might change. Great start!
9691572
He's like that dude from the manga Berserk, but with high-tech armor and guns rather than cursed armor and a gargantuan sword.
"Aegis", huh?
Is she red? Is she white? ...Or is she green?