Wallflower Blush expected the Rainbooms would forget about her once she was no longer a magical threat. Sunset Shimmer had other ideas. Now, largely without meaning to, Wallflower has somehow become the first human to visit Equestria. On a date, no less.
At least that's the only thing she'll have to worry about. After all, what in a world full of candy-coated magic ponies could possibly be as terrifying as being in a relationship with Sunset Shimmer?
And why did Pinkie Pie just shudder and give Wallflower that pitying look?
An entry in Oroboro's Sunset Shipping Contest: Journeys. Rated Teen for mild profanity, oblique references to horse nudity, and just to be safe.
Thanks to Speckle and SoloBrony for prereading.
Chapters (1)
This a was a cute little romp that checked all the boxes for me. To borrow your own catchphrase, thank you for it.
ew gross.
Feels like an "outline/rough draft" sentence. You mean nickered.
I mean, it is now home to a Time Lady...
Sunset's magic is red.
Red. Also, Sunset's magic was never straight green to begin with. Greenish sure. It used to be turquoise.
So with pony ending next year... how long will it be before we drop the "human obsessed Lyra" meme. It's incredibly annoying.
>Susnet hah
I see what you did there.
All in all... Mechanically solid, but with some thin bits glazed thinly over. I'm probably going to dislike a lot of the entries to this contest because of the ridiculously low wordcount hard limit (one of the reasons I dropped out of it.) This story obviously suffered from the limit, as it zips along at a clip much too quick to actually care about anyone involved, and then ends suddenly.
This was a lot of fun! I really liked weaving Wallflower’s insecurity into her cutie mark and her discovering her Earth Pony Magic™️ as a counterpoint to Sunset’s magic. And then the sudden appearance of S.M.I.L.E. So congratulations, you made me laugh and care about the ship.
Nah, call it Lima syndrome and make people learn something. Besides, it offers such potential for bean based misunderstandings.
I liked everything about this, from Forget-Me-Do (no relation to Daring I presume) to Wallflower being wowed by her first experience with Earth Pony magic. And the undergrowth being arranged as secret sign posts, and...yeah. Geeking out over here.
Bon Bon is paranoid, but clearly not quite paranoid enough.
And, of course, Wallflower and Sunset are completely adorable through all of this.
9135879
Sunset knows the word nickered, but Wallflower doesn't. She doesn't even know what fetlocks are. Cut the girl some slack.
9135907
It doesn't seem to be third-person limited...
I do feel kinda like a dick for tugging at FOME's loose threads there since I'm sure I have way worse and he's never done it to me...
Sigh. Ditzy jumps a few dimensional boundaries and she’s labeled as an Eldritch abomination worshiping cultist. Typical Bon Bon.
SQUEE! Happy to help
Wallflower just FlutterSqueed! As a pony! The amount of adorbs has skyrocketed!
That was cute and amusing. Good job
Woah, sudden drugging was sudden. And become intriguingly expository.
And this is complete. So, nice ending! Sweet / Funny!
And sweet / cute in general!
Ah... So, Backalley Fireworks are in this universe...
Cool if it's a standalone, but Demon Sunset is traveling worlds... This is a great story to set up this world as one of her stops...
Also, Royal Assassinorium... Nice!
Lol if this is Elementals-verse, 'cause I didn't expect that. ... And now I'm checking to see if that's even possible... There might be contradictions if it were. ... ... There are a lot of Ditzys that can do interdimensional?
I am not fond with how Wallflower takes ownership of other people's memories.
This was crazy and beautiful and absolutely brilliant. I demand MOAR!
Welp! This was a pairing I really didn't expect to see, or work so cutely!
Brilliant work with the pony-Wallflower; that makes a lot of sense for somepony whose talent is being unseen. Also, it was a delight seeing Lyra be the sane pony around!
Ah, glad to see this was posted and got such a positive reception.
9135980
I mean, that descriptor also applies to Sunset. And Twilight. And probably the other princesses. And definitey Pinkie Pie...
Fortunately, the Equestrian response to ‘Eldritch Horror with Too Many Tentacles” is “Woo, extra exotic seafood to sell in Griffinstone!”
So, Llama syndrome in Equestria?
You know if you count Shadow Lock from he comics and this Agent Forget-Me-Do, it kinda makes sense that Nightmare Moon was thought of as a story. With how easy it is to make world shattering spells and artifacts, sometimes some things need to be forgotten.
9135879
)
A fair assessment overall. Excessively rapid pacing seems to be a frequent symptom of my style. And yes, it physically nauseated me to write something positive regarding Timberlight. The things I do for some modicum of originality...
(You know, despite the other Sunflower contest entry submitted about twenty-six hours before this one. And the one from two weeks ago.
Also, my headcanon is that Sunset's magic behaves like a stoplight. The climax of Friendship Games happened during one of her brief yellow periods.
But in all seriousness, that was a memory fail on my part. Chaoslace has been applied where appropriate.
One thing, though...
It doesn't? Between only ever getting into Wallflower's head, those same thoughts leaking into the narration at times, and the minimal proper terminology (e.g. horse-shoulders,) I thought that much was obvious.
9135893
Glad to hear it... though given my usual Sunset ship, that last bit's kind of counterintuitive.
9135900
Glad you enjoyed it. And the undergrowth signs in Whitetail Wood may or may not be part of Ponyville's ongoing stealth campaign of screwing over unicorns. (See also Winter Wrap-Up.)
A. K. Yearling works for an entirely different branch of the Equestrian shadow government. Or she would, if it existed.
9135980
There were many reasons Celestia disbanded S.M.I.L.E. Their knee-jerk reaction to anything emerging from outside conventional spacetime was but one of them. (And it wasn't even the Ditzy Bonbon captured!)
9136022
That wasn't the sound I was going for, but it certainly works. Thanks again for looking it over.
9136641
She's an empath, and so her aura is heavily impacted by her emotional state. The fact that she's got her magic mixed up with the semi-harmonic magic from another dimension just complicates it. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
The Equestrian shadow government is much more expansive than it seems at first glance. It must keep Cadance and Luna so busy, being in charge of it all...
And regarding Timberlight, at least you managed to be polite about it. The effort is appreciated. And Twilight would CLEARLY still be into Sunset if the were both single, so really what she needs to do is track down Sunset's counterpart. My money says she's off in yet another dimension, and comes back to steal Twilight's greatest creation to CONQUER THE WORLD!
9136641
Ah well. Guess I just didn't notice.
Also, stoplight... I had to go back to my comment and refresh on what you meant by that, and my immediate reaction was a hearty chuckle and "you fucker". And the Magic reference took a second to click. (My MtG career was cut tragically short when I physically threw a table and ended up destroying a Beta Black Lotus out of spite at a regional tourney)
But yeah, sudden S.M.I.L.E. out of nowhere was a bit odd but a neat inclusion, and the brunt of my blunt assessment is definitely a less-kind version of the comment above my initial one. It ticked all the boxes, sure.
But it did so with the pace and dryness of Starlight Glimmer using Similo Duplexis and Accelero to clear a chore list. And that the ending just -ends- right when we're starting to get invested in the ship and wondering about the plot threads brought up by Forget-Me-Do.
9136064
Dude, Trixie's back-alley fireworks are show canon. And it is glorious.
I didn't intend for this to be set in the same universe as Elementals of Harmony. That Bonbon doesn't have quite the same work experience as this one. Still, some elements have a tendency to carry over in my stories, including the Royal Assassinorum.
9136071
As we've seen, Equestria is a lot less concerned about the ethical issues with psychomancy than many viewers (see many Starlight Glimmer episodes.)
9136091
If nothing else, I strive for enjoyable novelty. Glad you liked it.
9136108
Same. Thanks again for the prereading.
9136346
I was going to call it "Limare syndrome," but your version is much more regionally appropriate. Nice one!
The part with Bon Bon and the other mare got a little confusing with the lack of VoCs indicating who was talking. Other than that, a good read.
So... when is someone going to write this story?
9136712
You destroyed a beta black lotus? I’m going to assume this was early days as after the Dark expansion onwards I’m imagining that would get you stabbed.
That got wacky awful fast.
Great work. After the contest, it'd be awesome to see this continued...
to be honest i think having pony wallflower actually show up was a mistake the scene was funnier with out that bit
still over all good story
9136641
Anytime
9136641
That's to your credit then: you made the characters and their interactions consistent and believable enough that the ship didn't feel forced or like a chore.
9137368
2013.
9136933
MY HOOF IS INKIER THAN YOUR HOOF!!!
9137799
Honestly surprised it was on the table. Would have figured that would be a proxy.
9138191
Nope. Which is why the table got thrown.
Rules of the tourney was decks couldn't have cards with individual values over $100, and Black Lotus was banned specifically by name as part of the Power Nine. He had 4, and a couple other illegal instawin cards.
This was just after a humiliating defeat at the hands of a Blue-White Control deck with numerous (illegal) Japanese, Korean, and Portuguese-language cards.
9138547
Amazed you weren’t able to get them disqualified then. Never taken part in any major tournaments, but in the hobby shop I used to game at it would be disqualification without refund of the entry fee.
9138672
I flipped the table after the proctor came over and was like "nah it's k" cause the dude bought all four from the shop and I was just some brat who swept the qual tourney with a deck assembled from a loose card box.
That tourney was regional, qualifying for State.
9138687
Brutal. My sympathies.
On my part, I'd tell the two they could take their 20 bit discount and...well, I might as well keep this rated PG.
She had a good point about those cuffs, though. They're ponies, for crying out loud. I don't think cuffs would hold them long.
And interesting deal with Wallflower's reaction to the environment. It might have been her Cutie Mark, or it might have been because that's a natural inclination for earth ponies. Hmm.
Congratulations on another front-page fic.
(I need to start looking for these contests myself. Seems fun...)
Haha! Nice one :)
This is nicely written. Wallflower having an affinity for earth and nature, and loving Equestrian soil as a result, makes perfect sense.
Wallflower has yet to learn the "never question Pinkie Pie" rule
It's nice to read another Wallflower entry to the contest. (Yep, I'm afraid I've been working on one for 3 weeks too; it's published now, so I'm reading the competition
) You and me touched on a few similar notes, as is certainly to be expected, but our stories are different enough to be charming in different ways. We had slightly different takes on Wallflower's motivations for her actions in Forgotten Friendship, and on Wallflower not transforming into a demon. We even both had ways for Wallflower to get thrown back into the trauma of memory-wiping...
Bwahahaha at the twist with Bonbon. That's hilarious. "Agent Forget-Me-Do" indeed
I think I get that reference
Whoa. I was not expecting the actual thing to turn up in this fic. Awesome.
Okay, that was really sweet. As was the whole thing. A nice fun story, sir or madam! Good luck in the contest!
9136689
And by 'steal' you mean 'charm her into dumping Timber and joining her interdimensional Twilight harem.'
9139670
Oh that happens eventually. But human Sunset needs to go through her own redemption arc first. Well, probably at least...
9139677
Wouldn't it be harder to be a multi-world ruler with an interdimensional harem of Twilights if she were reformed?
9139683
Not really, depends on how she took over and who’s she took it from...
And inter dimensional Twilight harems are of course morality independent as long as they’re happy about the situation.
9139700
Well gosh, why wouldn't they be happy? They get the most perfect being in existence (in their eyes) all to themselves.
Lovely story. I love good fics about my OTP.
I NEED PONY WALLFLOWER IN MY LIFE
BOTH OF THEM
9138108
What does that mean? I feel like I should respond to defend myself, but I'm not sure what that means.
Good story. Some very well-thought-out continuity references in this.
Sunset can easily back up her claims. She knows Ditzy.
Hey, gratz on Featured!
9140377
I'm replying to your profile name. You call yourself Ink Hoof. So, I declare that my hoof is much inkier. As in, it has more ink.
On one hoof, recognition value is always important.
On the other hoof, I can't believe you passed on a chance to make a llama pun.
On a third hoof, would that be racist, implying that most foalnappers (or hostages?) are llamas?
On the fourth hoof, *faceplants due to lack of hooves still on the ground*.