As if I Were Human
“Did you miss me?” Adagio asked as she flopped down onto the bed, grinning playfully and pressing her lips to Sunset’s cheek in a soft kiss that silently screamed “Yes, of course you did, and we both know it” louder than words ever could.
“Hey, you,” Sunset said, the corners of her mouth lifting unbidden into a welcomed smile. The book she’d been reading since coming home from school all but flew out of her hands, which were given the much more important task of encircling Adagio’s slender shoulders. “How was work?”
Adagio shrugged, idly splaying out her long, glossy purple fingernails; she’d spent hours on hers long before she started getting paid to do the same for other people. “Boring,” she said—Sunset knew she meant “It’s fine, but I’ll tell you about it later.”
Sunset pulled Adagio a little closer—the enticing scent of fuzzy peaches drifted up from the golden curls that sprawled out over the bed. “It’s better now.”
A long, dreamy sigh poured out of Adagio’s mouth. “Much. How was yours?”
“Oh, y’know… I’m counting the days till summer comes, but that’s not exactly new.”
Adagio murmured a sweet but nonsensical sound. “That’ll be good, right?”
“Yeah.” Sunset lowered her head. “That’ll be good.”
She turned to the side, pulled Adagio close, and kissed her gently on the lips. She didn’t think she could ever get tired of doing that.
“You make an… awfully compelling argument,” Adagio murmured once their mouths separated—hers shaped into a smirk shortly. “Just like always.” But then her lips quirked, and slyness vanished for a moment until her eyes looked elsewhere. “C’mon,” she said. “Let’s do something.”
Sunset arched an eyebrow. “I dunno,” she said. Her fingers could feel the warmth of Adagio’s soft skin through the button-down shirt she had to wear for work. “This is awfully nice.”
“I know. But there’re two things I’ve been itching to get my hands on today, and”—she glanced sideways, at the guitar case propped up against the wall—“I want to get to one before I’m sidetracked by the other.”
Sunset frowned. “Oh. You… want to—”
Adagio shrugged. “Why not? It’s not much more than a decoration right now.” She wriggled away, slipping out of Sunset’s embrace to stand up and run her fingers over the guitar case. “You used to play it, right? How would you feel about teaching me?”
Sunset swallowed a nagging anxiety. “Sure, I think that’d be fun,” she said—very truthfully.
There was a “But” there, though, and it was so daunting Sunset could hardly look past it to find any excitement.
“It’s been there for months now.” She scooted to the edge of the bed and sat on the side. “Why the sudden interest?”
Adagio looked back at Sunset, and shrugged again; her smile was stunning, just like everything she did. “No idea.” She giggled. “Well… okay, that’s not quite true.”
It was a faint but staunch hope that made Sunset smile. “I hope you’re not going to keep me waiting.”
“You’ll laugh. It’s silly.”
“Maybe, but let’s stay on topic here.”
Adagio rolled her eyes, but her mouth never strayed from mirthfulness. “I had a dream last night,” she said. “And when I woke up, I just felt like making music. First time for everything, right?”
Sunset arched an eyebrow and hoped that the lump in her throat was born of paranoia. “Good dream, then?”
“I think so. I should’ve written it down; I don’t remember much of it now.” Adagio waved her hand, then picked up the guitar case and looked expectantly towards Sunset. “But that’s beside the point. What’re we waiting for?”
Sunset stood up, perhaps faster than she meant to, and touched Adagio’s arm. “Hey, um… why don’t we come back to this tomorrow?” She was met with a vicious pout, but she didn’t let it rule her. “I’ll think about where you can start, pick out songs you’ll like… it’ll be much more fun when I’m refreshed and ready for it.”
Adagio looked at her for a moment—she didn’t say, “But tomorrow isn’t tonight,” but she didn’t need to.
Eventually, she just smirked. “Worried I’ll be better than you?”
Sunset laughed. “Yeah, you got me. I know you will be, so I’m bracing myself for it. But, uh… I’ve never taught anyone before, so it’ll be better for you if I can get some of the fumbling out of the way while you’re at work.”
It took a little while for Adagio to let go of the guitar, but as soon as she did, she pressed herself to Sunset’s side. “Tomorrow night, then,” she said.
“Yeah. Tomorrow night.”
Sunset sat on one chair, her guitar laid out balanced in her lap, a wadded-up checklist in her hand—she’d committed the contents to memory already. Another chair stood in front of her, empty but ready.
Eventually, the sound of a twisting lock outside made her focus her attention on the door. Adagio stepped inside a moment later, midway through a yawn but perking up the second her eyes drifted to Sunset’s.
“Hey.” Sunset gestured to the other chair. “Ready?”
There was a gleam in Adagio’s eye as she plopped her purse down, hurried over and sat in the chair. “Absolutely.”
“Right. First thing’s first. Lemme see your hands? Ah, okay.” Sunset reached into her pocket, took out a pair of nail clippers, and offered them to Adagio. “You’ll need them pretty short on your left hand—your right’s probably fine.”
There was a moment of hesitation. Adagio looked down at her hands, at the perfectly-sculpted points at the ends.
“You’re sure?” she said, after a few moments.
“Sorry. You could try, I guess, but it’s kinda impossible and you’d end up scratching them and stuff anyway.” Sunset watched Adagio, half-expecting her to turn away and drop the whole idea.
Instead, Adagio only stuck out her lower lip a little bit as she went to work trimming her once-immaculate fingernails. When she was done, she splayed out her fingers, curled her lip, but trained her eyes on the guitar and then held her hand out to Sunset. “Better now?”
“Much. Alright.” Sunset quirked her lips, glancing about. “This is gonna be a bit awkward since I just have the one, but let’s see what we can do. Now, this thing—” she ran her fingers over the orange surface of her guitar, lingering on the V-shaped body “—is a Flying V.” Just saying the name made the corners of her mouth lift—those words had an intrinsic cockiness to them. “Basically the coolest thing in the world. Here, go ahead and hold it?”
Adagio reached out, gently accepted the sleek instrument, and raked her eyes all over the shiny finish. “Nice.”
“Very. But the shape’s a bit weird if you’re sitting down with it. You’re gonna want to get it between your legs, right? With the V, like—yeah, just like that. Right. Now—” She held up a plectrum pinched between her thumb and index finger “—this is gonna make it feel a bit weirder to pluck the strings, but you’ll get clearer sounds than if you use your fingers right away. Give it a shot. Just pluck a string or two.”
Accepting the pick, Adagio, held it in her right hand and, hesitantly, looking down intently, plucked a string with it—a crisp E note rang out. “You’re right,” she said, frowning. “It’s weird.”
“It’ll take some getting used to, but you’ll get the hang of it. Right, what you just did was playing a string ‘open’; you didn’t hold it down at all with the left hand.” Sunset leaned forwards and gestured to the neck of the guitar. “These little metal things are called frets. If you hold the string down, you’ll make it shorter and change the pitch. So, try that same note, but hold the string down against a fret—just whichever one you feel like.”
“Alright.” Adagio’s index finger pressed—right between the second and third frets—and she plucked the string again. This time, it was a G note that thrummed into the air.
Sunset tilted her head. “Oh, nice. I wasn’t expecting you to get that right.”
Adagio exaggerated a gasp, clasping her hand to her chest. “Sunset, you wound me!”
“No, no, it’s—” Chuckling, Sunset leaned forward to touch the neck of the guitar. “See, you’re not supposed to hold your finger on the fret—that’ll make your skin muffle the string vibrations. But that’s what everyone wants to do.”
“And that’s not what—”
“No, you had your finger between them, which is exactly where it’s supposed to be.”
“I’m a natural, in other words?”
“Well, it’s the guitar equivalent of drawing a stick figure, so don’t get too smug yet. Right, see those other strings? Try doing what you just did, but with a different string.”
With a nod, Adagio held the next string over down with her middle finger, plucked it, and popped a C note out.
Before Sunset’s eyes fluttered open, a staccato of faint, disjointed notes whispered in her ear. She lifted her head, squinting and rubbing the sleep from her eyes before dragging herself up from the bed.
Adagio was downstairs, sitting on a chair still in her nightwear, Sunset’s guitar cradled in her lap. The fingers of her left hand would shift up and down the neck, while the plectrum in her right picked strings seemingly at random—and yet there was both dexterity and purpose to it all. Not just noise made for noise’s sake, perhaps, but a quest to find the ‘right’ noise, then?
The way Adagio would stop every so often to jot a few things down on a paper on the table by her side seemed to support that notion.
“You’re up early,” Sunset said.
A startled shake of Adagio’s head was the first reply. “Good morning,” she chimed—her voice was impeccably clear, even at that early hour, and her smile small yet vibrantly beautiful. “I didn’t wake you, did I?”
“Eh.” Sunset shrugged as she walked closer. “It’s not a bad thing to wake up to. How’s it coming?”
“Slowly,” Adagio said. She eyed the paper again, picking it up and staring at it; her lips shaped into a satisfied smile. “But surely.”
Even that faint hint of joy on Adagio’s face was effortlessly infectious. “Anything you’d like to show off for me?”
“Not yet.” Adagio folded the paper neatly, then hoisted the guitar off her leg and set it down against the wall. “It’s not done.”
“Oh? Branching out to songwriting already? I could help you with it, if you’d like me to.”
Adagio laughed. The sound was accompanied by a small, bashful smile. “I don’t think so, actually. It’s—it’s odd, it’s like the words are all already there. I’m just… digging them out, as it were.”
Sunset deliberately kept her smile from warping into a frown. It did not come easily. “Oh. That’s interesting.”
She didn’t want to ask anything further, so she waited until she’d convinced herself she had to.
“Does this have anything to do with that dream you had?”
“I think so, actually.” A twinkle came to Adagio’s eyes as she looked down at the paper held against her chest. “I—had another one last night. And when I woke up, I just had these—not really lyrics, I guess. They’re not quite that detailed.”
Sunset’s heart sank. She tried to nurture hope in herself, but it was like trying to burn wet wood. “Can I see what you’ve got so far? It’ll”—her chest tightened; she didn’t like the words about to escape her mouth—“be a better song in the end with two pairs of eyes on it, right?”
“I…” Adagio looked down at the paper again. The absence of the twinkle in her eye wrenched at Sunset’s heart. “Alright.” After a moment’s pause, Adagio held out the paper. “But don’t try to write any of it without me, please?”
“I won’t.” Sunset took hold of the paper.
Adagio didn’t let go—she pouted. “Promise?”
“I promise, yeah. I’ll look at it while I’m at school, and we can talk about it together tonight.”
A second ticked by, and then Adagio let go of the paper.
Sunset laid the paper out on the table, flattening it with her palms and poring over the loose, messy script penned all over it. She saw blocks of stillborn lyrics blotted out or struck through, some smudged and smeared…
It was amazing Adagio had been able to make sense of any of it. ‘Digging them out’ indeed. Most of it was as nonsensical to Sunset as she’d hoped it would all be.
Some of it was fairly coherent, though.
We heard you… Shout? Scream? Cry?
We want you
We heard you want?
Sunset swallowed, stifling a shiver. Echoes of a now-crippled singing voice whispered in her ear like ghostly serpents. Another patch of legibility beckoned to her.
Fight
Aria
War
Strife
Battle
Battle!
There was an eerie air of joy to that last word—the first time, it was scratchy, all the letters connected like Adagio had simply closed her eyes, felt her way through the word and only lifted the pen once she was done. The second iteration, though, was crisp and neat, and the exclamation point an excited, celebratory mark.
Sunset swallowed again.
“Are you sure these are the right lyrics? Some of them… I dunno, some of them just sound a bit off to me.”
Adagio pursed her lips. “I know what you mean,” she said. “But they… well, a lot of them, yes, I don’t think they sound right at all. But some of them…” She leaned forward, staring down at the paper. She had the most luminous passion on her face just then, and it would have been entrancing if only it was something different attracting her so fiercely. “They’re right. Do you see that? This one—‘battle’—I knew as soon as I’d written it, it had to be—”
“Okay, yeah. I kinda know the feeling. But…” Sunset leaned over, draped an arm around Adagio’s shoulders, and made herself smile fondly. “It just doesn’t feel you, does it? ‘Battle’ is kind of the last word I’d think of if I thought of you.”
Adagio lifted her eyes from the paper, turned to Sunset, and smirked. “And since you’re the world’s leading expert on thinking about me, I suppose I should defer to your judgment?”
Sunset chuckled, and barely had time to hear Adagio’s own laughter before the two of them were sharing a chair.
“I have had an awful lot of practice at thinking about you, you realize.”
“Only because it’s so much fun.” Adagio looped her arms around Sunset’s neck, sinking into the chair and almost tipping it backwards.
“It is!” Most of the time, Sunset couldn’t think of a thing she’d rather do. That particular moment, she almost wished she could be doing anything else.
Almost.
“So,” she said, brushing her fingers along Adagio’s cheek. “It… must’ve been quite a dream you had, if it got you thinking about that kind of thing.”
“Yes.” Adagio smiled coyly. “It was.”
Sunset’s mouth lifted into a smile. “Maybe you should tell me what it was about, then? You’re making it sound like I’m missing out on something.”
Adagio rolled her eyes at first, then kissed Sunset lightly on the cheek. “If you insist.” She resituated slightly, sliding into Sunset’s lap, leaning back against her—she cast an expectant look over her shoulder that persisted until Sunset pulled her a bit closer.
“I don’t remember much of it,” Adagio said after she’d gotten herself settled. “But… waves. Waves, sand and music.” She closed her eyes, and her breath hitched—Sunset peeked and saw pure serenity painted on Adagio’s face. “The most beautiful music I’d ever heard. The waves lapped at my ankles and crested and broke in the distance…”
There were those echoes again, slithering about in the corners of Sunset’s mind.
“… and then this… this creature rose up, out of the water. It was so beautiful, Sunset. Scales like gleaming gold, the biggest ruby I’ve ever—”
Icy dread summoned tension and demanded action.
Adagio turned and shot Sunset a not-quite-serious glare. “I didn’t realize it was that harrowing.”
Sunset blinked. What was—
“I have—” A nervous chuckle leapt out of her mouth; she realized her suddenly-tightened grip on Adagio’s shoulders for the first time, and quickly loosened it. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
She was met with a theatrical eye roll and a pointed huff. “Honestly, Sunset. Here I am, spilling my guts about being serenaded by a sea creature, and you—”
“Sorry,” Sunset blurted. She clamped her lips shut, breathed deeply. “Sorry,” she said. “You can keep going, if you’d like.”
“Well…” Adagio kept up her indignancy for another second or two, and then it all collapsed into lilting giggles as she turned around and leaned into Sunset’s chest. “It’s just a dream, right?”
“Y—yeah.” Sunset hoped the dread stayed in her chest and never made it to her face. “Yeah, just a dream.” She looked over to the paper on the table, then caressed Adagio’s face gently. “Hey, so… I think that’s enough songwriting for tonight. Maybe we can try writing a better one tomorrow?”
Adagio glanced at the paper, just briefly—the wistfulness that flashed across her face was a terrifying thing, and that it didn’t quite relent, even worse. “Yeah,” Adagio said, sinking down and resting her head on Sunset’s shoulder. Had her eyes not drifted back to the paper, she’d have been the image of contentment. “I’d… like that.”
Sunset half-expected to find Adagio with the guitar out again when she got back—the sight of her instead seated at the table with a laptop in front of her and pen and paper beside it was… not the most comforting of sights, but neither was it the worst.
“Hey,” she said as she pulled off her backpack, set it down and made her way over. “How was your day?”
Adagio didn’t look at her right away; when she did, it was a quick glance with only a slight smile, but then she closed the laptop and faced Sunset head-on. “Quite odd, actually.”
It was an arduous endeavor to stay calm when she said that. But Sunset did. Everything would be fine. She’d kept the things that might make Adagio remember away from her. Nothing would—
“Sunset, does… does the word ‘Equestria’ mean anything to you?”
No.
No, that had not just happened.
Surely, it couldn’t have—Sunset was staring, she realized with a splutter. “I beg your pardon?”
Adagio glanced at her paper again. The notes Sunset saw on it were far too neat to be more lyrics, but that didn’t help much. “ ‘Equestria.’ What does it mean?”
“I—I don’t…” Sunset choked back a lie; she was better than that now. But what could she say? “It’s a—it’s a place.” Brilliant choice.
“It did sound like one.” Adagio quirked her lips, and looked to the computer. “And yet I couldn’t find it on any map.”
“No. No, you—” Change topics. Anything else would be better. Sunset leaned against the wall, keeping her posture relaxed and affecting calmness, to the best of her capability. “Where’d you hear about it?”
“A frequent customer of mine.” What? Who in the world could have—? “We were chatting, I told her about my dream”—Why would you do that?—“and she told me that word and said I should ask you about it.”
“Someone told you to—” Sunset banished the calm from her face. “Adagio, I need you to tell me who told you that. It’s important.”
Adagio’s brow furrowed. The worry on her face, palpable as it was, was far from pleasant to watch. “I’d told her about you before, and you about her, but I didn’t think you’d met. Do you know a Shadow Spade?”
“I don’t think I—what does she look like?”
Adagio fished her phone out her pocket, stealing another worried glance at Sunset before pulling up a picture and holding the phone up. “Like this.”
The second Sunset saw the picture, her blood ran cold. Ivory skin, silky violet hair—Rarity. There she was, beaming alongside Adagio, both of them holding up what must have been freshly-manicured nails.
Sunset’s grip clenched. What’re you doing, Rarity? I thought I told you to—
“Sunset?” Adagio stood up, brow furrowing as she stepped closer. “What’s going on?”
No time to panic. Sunset looked to Adagio. She was so innocent in her confusion, and happy memories of gentle hugs and melodic laughter came prancing into Sunset’s head.
Deep breaths. She needed clarity, and caution. For both their sakes. Sunset went up to Adagio and held her gently by the shoulders. “Okay, Adagio, look—” She hoped her voice was gentle; it was guidance Adagio needed, not orders. “You need to stay away from… Shadow Spade. It sounds bad, but really, it’ll be better for both of us if you stop talking to her.”
“What? Sunset, I don’t understand.”
“I know. I know, you don’t and I’m sorry. But I do. If you don’t understand, then at least… please, just trust me. Can you do that for me?”
“I—” Adagio’s mouth hung open for one agonizing second; her eyes hinted at words that were swallowed instead of spoken, and then she gave a small nod. “I want to.”
“Good. I’m sorry. This must be awfully confusing for you. But, right now, the best thing you can do is forget that this happened.”
Something flickered through Adagio’s eyes. She seemed to mouth the word ‘forget,’ and that made Sunset bite back a curse.
“Who is she?” Adagio’s voice wavered, just slightly, as she locked eyes with Sunset. “Shadow Spade. You recognized her face, so you’ve met her, but not the name, so she’s hiding from you.”
Again there was that nagging thought that it would be easier to lie. “It’s… complicated. I told her to stay away from you.” They’d agreed on it, at the time—Rarity’s reluctance had been clear, and she was not the only one to show it, but they had all agreed to let the one with magical experience handle it.
It was rather like Rarity to covertly keep an eye on Adagio, though, and she’d presumably meant well—a matter for another time, then.
“Why?”
“I can’t say. I’m sorry.” As soon as those last two words left Sunset’s mouth, Adagio looked away. A sigh fell out of her lips. Sunset winced from the sting it carried, and reached up to Adagio’s face, cupping her cheek and nudging until they looked at each other again. “It’s not what you want to hear, I know. I understand.”
Adagio blinked. She drew in a breath, and her eyes turned soft and silently pleading. “I need something, Sunset. Just… something.” Adagio pulled Sunset’s hand off her face, then wrapped her fingers around it and squeezed it gently. “If you want me to trust you, show me that you can trust me as well.”
“Okay.” Sunset hesitated for a moment, then pulled Adagio in for a hug. Adagio reciprocated—not enthusiastically, perhaps, but without fuss. Good. “I’ll… tell you what I can.”
She broke away and took both Adagio’s hands in hers. “Let’s sit down and talk about this.”
There was little in the way of understanding to be found on Adagio’s face, but she nodded just the same.
“Alright,” Sunset said, clasping her hands together, resting them on the table and looking across at Adagio. “You don’t remember much before meeting me, do you?”
It had been a strange moment, that meeting—Sunset distinctly remembered the way surprise and fear had swirled seamlessly into measured concern. But she also remembered cozy nights that made it all worth it.
Adagio gave a small nod. “That’s right. Hardly anything.”
Sunset nodded, and felt the corners of her mouth lifting. If Adagio had connected the dreams with her missing memories, she concealed her understanding well, and what reason would she have to do that?
Things were going to be fine, then. “Shadow Spade…” Sunset bit her lip, then erred on the side of trust. “Rarity. Her real name’s Rarity. You’ve been talking to her often?”
“She’s a regular customer. And one of the most talkative.” Adagio glanced down, wringing her hands just barely below the table. “One of… one of my favorites,” she murmured before quickly lifting her eyes to Sunset’s. “What’s she done that’s—”
“She knew you.”
Three words transformed Adagio. Anxious mumbles and concerned, fretting eyes shifted into a gaping mouth and sharply static posture. “She… she—” Adagio shook her head, eventually tearing her eyes away and letting them fall to the floor. “All that time, and she never…” The face that came next was one that looked like it could either hurl out a scream or burst into tears. The question—“Why?”—was unspoken, but the pain it brought far from invisible.
And hardly unique to Adagio. A faint tightness came to Sunset’s chest. She leaned forward, desperate to reach out, to give Adagio the closeness, the trust, the warm embrace that had shaped her own life into something beautiful. “It’s hard. I know it is.”
Adagio snapped her attention back to Sunset with a jerk of her head. Her mouth hung open for a moment. “But… Sunset, I’m…” She came to an inelegant, stumbling pause, seemingly grappling for the right words. “I don’t understand. If she knows… knows who I am, then why are you telling me I shouldn’t—?”
Sunset had been dreading giving the answer to that question. She breathed, deeply, and sifted through the tangle of words in her head for just the right ones.
She’d had to answer it once before, in a way. Not when Adagio asked it, though—and Rarity’s actions showed the answer she’d given back then hadn’t been as persuasive as she’d hoped it was.
“Adagio, you… you have to realize…” Sunset looked at the beautiful girl across the table from her and let her heart take over for a moment. “You’re a fantastic person. You’re a joy to be around, and you’re clever and charming and passionate and just all these wonderful things.” She saw a small smile slowly blooming on Adagio’s face, and she let that little ray of sunshine encourage her. “And you know I only want what’s best for you, right?”
A nod came quickly. Quickly enough that the frown that followed wasn’t too harrowing. “I—I do. But—”
“Then listen to me. I know this better than most: not every past is one worth bringing back.”
What Sunset said slid off her tongue easily. It was what she didn’t say, what she couldn’t bring herself to say out loud, that made her heart churn, because there wasn’t any way around admitting it anyway.
It only took a moment for Adagio to realize it. The look that she wore after that moment would have been at home in one of Sunset’s nightmares.
“Did…” There was still a sliver of hope in Adagio’s eyes, and it just made it worse. “Did you know me too?”
It took Sunset a moment to nod—her eyes glued themselves to the table. “It sounds bad, I know. But I can—”
“Sunset, just…” Desperation saturated Adagio’s voice. “Please, just tell me that this makes sense. Tell me why you did all this, and… and just make it make sense.”
Sunset looked up just in time to see pleading eyes meeting hers, accompanied by a slow, sad shaking of Adagio’s head.
“I will,” Sunset said. “I promise.” She slowly reached out, resting her forearm on the table with her palm turned upwards.
Adagio looked down at Sunset’s hand, eventually laid her own on top of it, and let her dainty fingers be wrapped by Sunset’s hands. She looked ready to cry.
Sunset swallowed. It was going to be a difficult talk. But that was why she had to do it. “Before you met me—met me again, I guess—you were in a really awful, dark, miserable place. And I know how that feels, because I’ve been in one too.” She paused, filled her head with dreams of pure, innocent Adagio laughing. “But you’re not in one now. We’ve both come out of those places, and that’s been the best part of each of our lives. So… I did what I did because every time I see you being happy, I know that I can’t let anything drag you back to where you used to be.”
Adagio blinked. Her expression was neutral, but more vacant than calm. “But…” Her lips moved slowly, absent-mindedly. “What past could be so awful that just knowing about it is too much?” she whispered.
“I… don’t have a problem with you knowing about it.” Sunset swallowed—she pictured cackles and manic grins from the past, and fought to beat those images aside. “But you were so very different back then. A whole other person, really. And it’s better for both of us—for everyone—that that person stays in the past. There isn’t a better second chance than the one you’ve been given.”
“What did I need a second chance for?” There was a crack in Adagio’s voice.
“You were…” Sunset made herself smile. “It doesn’t sound right to say any of it. It’s… so out of date. But you did some bad things. You were cruel, and vain, and… dangerous.”
“I was bad?”
“... Very bad. But you’re a better person now. So much better.”
“So you…” Adagio shook her head, slowly. Her eyes started to well up. “You—what—rewrote me?”
Sunset’s blood ran cold. She realized the tightening of her grip too late, and watched Adagio’s hand slip away. “L—look. Adagio, I can—”
“I—I don’t—” Adagio shook her head again. Then she stood up. Then she turned away.
“Wha—where are you—?” Sunset all but flew out of her chair and around the table. “Adagio, where are you going?”
“I don’t know. I—I can’t—” Adagio stole a look back at Sunset; a glistening tear dripped down her cheek.
“Okay, I—Adagio, please—” Sunset stepped forward, gently gripping Adagio’s shoulders. Her heart pounded in her chest, and heat bloomed in her face. “It hurts. I know, and I’m sorry. But I want what’s best for you, I really do.”
Adagio looked at her. Another tear fell from her eye.
“Just give me one more chance,” Sunset said. “We can make this work. I know we can. We’ve both been through so much already, I— I know that this doesn’t have to…”
That was about as much as she managed before her words turned to a mash of scattered syllables, half-formed pleads spilling out her mouth like she’d cut a sack of guilt.
Somehow, though, it all ended with her arms around Adagio’s shoulders and Adagio’s quietly weeping face pressed against her.
“Alright,” Sunset said, leaning forward in her chair and clasping her hands. “Are you ready to talk?”
Adagio sipped from her teacup, swallowing slowly. She wasn’t shaking as much anymore, and her face was dry, but her eyes were still red and puffy. She looked exhausted and miserable.
Poor thing. “We can wait, if you’d like.” Ideally, they’d wake up tomorrow and move on like it had never happened, but Sunset didn’t see that happening at all.
“No,” Adagio murmured. “No, I need to know now.”
“Alright. What I said before… sounded wrong. I should’ve realized that. I wanted you to be the best that you could be. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you, and I hope you realize that.”
“I—I do.” Adagio gave a shaky nod. But then one of her hands peeled off of her cup, slipped into her pocket, and plucked out a folded piece of paper that unfurled to reveal dreadful lyrics. “That song I heard, that creature I saw in my dream…” She drained her cup, set it aside, and turned her eyes—her quietly mournful eyes—towards Sunset’s. “They’re from my past, aren’t they?”
“Yeah.” Sunset looked over to the corner, where her guitar was still leaning in its case against the wall. “When you were working on that song, I was worried that music would drudge up more of your past.”
“I see. But Sunset, that creature I saw…” Adagio blinked slowly, and then the corners of her mouth crept up until she wore a smile only slightly less sad than her eyes. She shook her head, set her cup down and held the paper with both hands. “She was beautiful. She was so beautiful. And so passionate, and so driven, and… and I felt some of that. I thought of that song and just knew that I’d pluck those strings until I’d worn my fingers to the bone if that was what it took to make it real.”
Adagio held up one of her hands, splaying out her slender fingers and spreading her glossy purple nails. “How could someone like that be satisfied painting nails every day?”
“You were… definitely ambitious. You set your sights on making the world adore you, and I don’t think you would have settled for anything less. I can see why you’d want some of that back. But—” Sunset scooted her chair closer, leaned forward and reached to gently grip the paper “—there is nothing wrong with the life you have right now. And I don’t want you to lose any of it.”
Gently but insistently, she pulled the paper out of Adagio’s hands. She folded it carefully but quickly, then set it aside.
Adagio hardly reacted. Her brow creased, ever so slightly, but she stayed silent.
Sunset shuffled a bit closer, laying her hands on Adagio’s. “I know it’s a lot to take in. But I don’t want any of this to stop you from being happy.” She swallowed, reaching up to cup Adagio’s cheek. “Tomorrow’s the weekend. You don’t have work, and I don’t have school. So let’s just… be together. None of all this has to come into it. That… that sounds good, right?” She sounded more desperate than she would’ve thought she was, but that felt honest of her.
Adagio was quiet for a moment. She reached up, hesitantly, and touched the hand on her face. Her fingers were light and flighty, their touch little more than an anxious breeze on Sunset’s skin.
The longing, the sense of wistfulness in Adagio’s eyes, was as palpable as her shock. She looked confused, hurt and desperate.
“Come here,” Sunset said. Let me take all that away.
Sunset awoke awash in a slurry of lazy delights: soft pillows cradling her head, a corona of sunlight dancing just barely out the corner of her eye, the absence of an alarm clock’s harsh call, and an ocean of beautifully disarrayed curly golden hair.
Greedily, but carefully, she pulled Adagio closer, and let the blissful mundanity of the morning melt the minutes away.
Everything was going to be fine.
After too little of that quiet, domestic stillness, Sunset heard a long sigh, and a gentle stir made strands of curly hair tickle her hands. She smiled.
“Are you awake?” she whispered.
Nothing happened at first, but then there was a yawn and a rustle of fabric as Adagio’s shifting and stretching jostled the covers. Then Adagio started to sit up, so Sunset did too, keeping her companion close with an arm draped over her shoulders.
“We should stay in today. Just relax for a while. Take the weekend off,” Sunset said, leaning against the headboard… frowning slightly. Adagio didn’t look at her right away, just stared forward and rubbed at her eyes, hiding her face behind her dangling locks.
She must have been imagining things, though. Adagio faced her after only a moment, and when she did her face was as lovely as ever and her small, sleepy smile a mote of radiance.
Sunset thought about saying more. Asking how Adagio felt, whether she’d thought any more about their talk last night… whether she’d dreamed again, that last night.
In the end, though, there were sweeter things to be done with her lips, and Adagio seemed to agree.
Things were normal again. None of that chilling dread of the last night. Just warmth, closeness… love…
It was a good morning. Just about perfect for them, especially after what had happened the night before.
The afternoon quickly took a turn for the lazy. They’d each had a turn in the shower, and then a little while later ended up on the couch. Sunset’s arm kept a curled-up Adagio close to her side while the television in front of them did its thing. Except for the ambient drone of minutes being worn away, they resided in a warm, comfortable silence.
Just what we needed, Sunset thought, idly petting Adagio’s hair and smiling fondly. Adagio looked up at her only briefly, not speaking a word as she sunk into Sunset’s side.
Somewhere down the line, the buzz of a vibrating phone jolted them from their reverie.
Adagio murmured a quiet apology before carefully slipping out from under Sunset’s arm and hurrying over to her phone, which was plugged in and resting on the dinner table. Sunset watched her pick it up, then let her attention drift for a moment as she sought the television remote, pressed the power button, then frowned when Adagio’s phone buzzed again.
She looked over to see Adagio standing still, back turned.
“S—sorry,” Adagio mumbled, stealing a quick glance over her shoulder before fussing with her phone. “Just a moment, I’ll be right over.”
“Sure.” Sunset got herself settled. “Who is it?” The question slipped out almost automatically.
Nothing happened for a moment. Adagio didn’t say anything, and she still stood in place, holding her phone. Eventually, it buzzed again.
Sunset tilted her head. “Who’re you talking to?” she asked, slightly louder this time.
Adagio spun to face her with a start. “O—oh,” she gasped, laughing nervously. “Oh, it was… just, um, someone from—” She trailed off into a long sigh, wrapping her arms around herself, shaking her head slowly, then putting her phone—which buzzed yet again—on the table and looking to Sunset.
“Someone from work?” Sunset sat a little straighter. “It’s not important, is it?”
“N—no. Well…” Adagio waved her hand. “I’ll tell you about it later.”
Sunset stopped her eyebrow from arching. Adagio didn’t always like talking about work at home. Everything was fine. Fine and normal. “Alright, then,” she said with a smile, starting to sink back into the couch. “Ready to—?”
The sound of Adagio’s voice drew Sunset’s gaze upwards. “Actually, if—” Adagio bit her lip, wringing her hands. Her eyes flicked, and dipped lower than Sunset’s. “If we’re taking a break anyway, there was something I wanted to ask you.”
Sunset looked at Adagio for a moment. A breath, a smile, a pat on the couch. “Sure. What’s on your mind?”
Adagio stayed where she stood. A subtle twist of her head made her hair dangle and partially obscure her face. “A word,” she said.
“Oh?” Sunset shifted slightly, facing Adagio directly.
“Yeah. ‘Aria.’ ”
A shiver ran through Sunset’s spine, leaving a trail of tension.
“I wrote it down, the other day. I—I didn’t know why. I thought ‘strife’ one moment, ‘fight’ another, and ‘Aria’ in between.”
Sunset opened her mouth, knowing what she was going to say; the topic was a dangerous one, she knew. The best thing, for both of them, was for the conversation to end there.
But a shift in Adagio’s posture revealed more of her face, and it gave Sunset pause. She looked… a lot of things. Small, for one, withdrawn as she was. Anxious, for another. She looked confused and frightened and ready to cry, and the suddenness of it all brought Sunset’s train of thought to a screeching halt.
It was a horrible sight. Something inside Sunset wrenched, some feeling twisted and stung and pained her every second Adagio looked so distraught.
It must have been scary for her. All those strange things happening, all those dreams, all those moments she had to trust that things would be okay if she listened…
“Hey. Adagio, it’s okay.” Sunset stood up, slowly walking towards Adagio. “It’s…” She bit back a lie—calling it ‘nothing’ wouldn’t be honest. “It’s just a word, right?”
Adagio looked at her. Right at her, right at her face. “But why would I think it?” Her voice cracked. “It’s nothing like the others. Of all the words I could have thought of, why that one?”
“I’m not sure,” Sunset said—it was a struggle not to wince afterwards. The truth could only be stretched so much before it turned to deceit. Dammit, I must be more flustered than I thought.
She stepped closer and held Adagio by the shoulders. “But it’s fine. It’s just a word. It can’t—”
Adagio squeezed her eyes shut. She looked away, and a small, silently damning bead of water rolled down her cheek. “Sunset,” she whispered, in a low, fearful murmur, “I know who Aria is, and—”
Sunset’s world froze.
“—and I know that you do too.”
Eloquence became a distant, untouchable dream.
Adagio shrugged out of Sunset’s grip, then snatched up her phone with a shuddering hand and slipped past.
Sunset stood still, briefly petrified, then whirled on the spot and, miraculously, managed something more coherent than a rambling babble. “Adagio, I—I can—just give me a chance to—”
Adagio halted and peered at Sunset. Another tear pooled in her eye and started to fall; the expression on her face was a whorl of sadness and anger. “I just did. You didn’t take it.” Her voice wasn’t exactly harsh. It was neither cold nor venomous. Or it wouldn’t have been, but it was so far removed from the tender lilt Sunset loved that she barely recognized it.
“Alright. You’re angry, I get it.” Sunset trailed off into a spluttering mishmash of words, only laboriously collecting herself. “But you have to understand—”
“What, Sunset? What is there to understand here?” Adagio swallowed; one of her hands clenched tightly by her side, while the other one snaked upwards, groping naked skin where there had once been a ruby. “I dreamed again, last night. They were there, both of them. By my side, singing with me. They’ve been with me longer than you’ve been alive.” She glanced briefly at her phone, before turning her furious, miserable, accusatory eyes towards Sunset. “And yet you said nothing, when one of their names was staring you right in the face. Why was Rarity the one to tell me you knew who that was?”
Sunset hadn’t thought it could get any worse; the mention of Rarity’s name set her veins alight. Rarity’s face appeared in her mind, and it made her bite back a curse and quickly wrench the beginning of a scowl back towards calmness.
“Okay,” she said. “I can see why you’re upset. I understand.” She grit her teeth. “But I don’t want you doing anything reckless.”
Adagio looked towards the front door, then whipped her head back to Sunset and folded her arms. “Reckless,” she murmured under her breath, before shaking her head. “What’s so reckless about looking for my family?”
“You don’t know what you might find if you go looking.” Sunset stepped closer. Her instinctual response was a viscerally angry one—everything would’ve been fine if Rarity had done what they’d agreed had to be done and kept her distance from Adagio. “Maybe they’re like you, on track for a better life. Maybe they’re still exactly the same as they were.
“If they are, they’re the worst kind of people you could be around right now. You are in a fantastic place, and I don’t want to see someone take that away from you.”
She wasn’t sure what kind of reaction she’d been hoping for. Acceptance would have been ideal, of course. Elation would have been sublime, but quiet—timid, even—recognition, perfectly suitable.
What she got was a turned back.
“I know,” Adagio said. “You want what’s best for me. You’ve said that before. But how do you know what that is?”
“I’ve been where you were,” Sunset said. “Believe me, you want to be as far away from that as you can be.”
Silence hung in the air for a moment.
“But you haven’t.”
Sunset’s brow furrowed. Something hot and volatile writhed in her heart. “I was very much like you, once.”
“Maybe. But you were alone. I never was. We were awful people. But they were there. They were always there. That’s love, Sunset.”
Sunset wished all the feelings she felt were the fault of something tangible that she could punch. Sincerity was something she had to grapple and struggle for. “And you have that. Right now, if you stay right here, you will keep it.”
Another long silence.
“Sunset… if they’re out there and… and they’re not like me, then…” Adagio’s voice shook with a tragic crack “…what do you think is going through their heads every day they don’t see me?”
“I don’t know.”
“They don’t either, do they? I dreamed of their love, Sunset. When I woke up this morning, I couldn’t feel it anymore and it was like the world had turned grey.” Adagio turned a tearful face back to Sunset. “If they’re grieving for me, I have to find them.”
“Alright. But what if they don’t remember you at all?”
“ ‘What if they don’t—’ How do you think that’d be any better? If they’re very lucky, they might remember better than I did where they live. If not…” Adagio rubbed a few tears away from her gloomy face. “Two attractive young girls alone in a city they don’t know?” Her voice lowered to a cracked hiss. “There’s food and shelter in prison, if they’re lucky enough to end up there.”
“What? What’re you—?” Sunset pressed her fingers to her temple. How had things gone so wrong so quickly? “Okay. Okay, look. We—we can work this out—” the words crumbled in her head as soon as she heard the weakness in her voice when she spoke them “—just not right now. We’re both—we’re both upset and—”
“No.” Adagio shuddered, hesitating to meet Sunset’s eyes for a moment. “I don’t—I can’t—” She shook again.
“What? You can’t what?” Sunset stepped closer, tensing when Adagio flinched away from her.
“I can’t wait.” Adagio stepped away, suddenly eying the front door. “If I wait, I might calm down, and I don’t think I can face you without being angry.”
The words alone would’ve been a shock. The small, panicked look and the anxious darting of Adagio’s eyes amplified it and quickened Sunset’s pulse. “You’re afraid of me?” she thought out loud. Fervent protests echoed in her head: How could she do that?
Adagio just flinched again. If that could be called a betrayal at all, it was a quiet, understated one.
“You overrule me,” Adagio said, eventually. “I say what I want, and then we do what you want. How often have we done that, these last few days?”
“I’ve only wanted to help you.” The gap separating Sunset from Adagio narrowed. “Everything I’ve done since I found you was what I thought you needed.”
“ ‘What you thought’, yes.” Adagio retreated. “Have you ever not thought you knew best?”
“But I've been there before! I have the experience!” Sunset jabbed an index finger towards Adagio. “I do know better than you, because it's all new to you. So I have to make the final decisions, because it's me who has all the facts.”
Adagio’s eyes flung wide. She shook her head and stumbling, furious words poured out of her. “Because you never gave them to anyone else. Why was that your choice to make?” She stepped back again, shuddering, one trembling hand balling into a fist by her side. “I would never have consented to this. Not now, and—and not then.”
Sunset’s brow furrowed. She pushed out an angry sigh as her fingers mashed into her temple. “That is so not the right word. I never—”
“ ‘Consent’? It is exactly the right word! You keep me here, you block me from talking to my friends and my family, you mold me into just what you want me to be, and you lie to me so I'll keep sharing your bed!”
Sunset’s eyes went wide. That wasn’t right. It wasn’t, it couldn’t have been! She’d meant well, she’d done what she thought was best…
Why, then? Why did she feel so awful when Adagio spoke to her like that? Why did that accusation, so bent and deceptive, feel like a twisting knife in her heart?
She was right. She was good—she was a good person. A better person.
And yet the person she’d tried to help was walking away from her. Walking away, turning her back. The doorknob rotated, the door cracked open—
Sunset moved.
The hard, heavy wood of the door stung when her shoulder connected. The door slammed shut. Sunset stepped back, hurriedly, shaking her head. Streams of curses turned inwards ran rampant in her head as she whirled.
Adagio had recoiled. Hard, and fast. She’d stumbled backwards, and now lay sprawled on the floor, one hand lifted as if to shield herself, eyes wide and panicked.
Sunset stared. Her heart hammered away in her chest.
The first sound to come out of her mouth was a curt, strangled gasp. An apology, perhaps, choked to silence before it ever existed.
She stared some more. Adagio looked up at her, chest heaving; the anger had been stricken from her face, but her still-damp cheeks glistened softly.
When Sunset finally spoke, it was a beg. A plea, desperate but wretched to her ears. “Please don’t do this. I don’t want you to.”
Adagio stood slowly, cautiously and tensely. She stared at the doorknob. “I know,” she murmured. “But I do.”
A moment passed. Adagio finally moved forward, slipping past Sunset to the door, yanking it open hurriedly, and pulling it sharply shut when she stepped outside.
Sunset fell down on her bed after she’d finally dragged herself back to it. She slumped against the headboard, staring at the ceiling and letting her hands fall dejectedly in her lap.
The questions from before ran through her head in an endless loop, stubbornly denying her the formless enlightenment she craved.
The past was a tapestry of mystery to her, a twisted bramble of good, righteous paths that had somehow led to an agonizing destination.
Or so she thought, for a little while.
Adagio’s face haunted her. The panicked stare, the fear in those eyes…
She’d been wrong. That image was irrefutable. She’d done something bad.
That thought reflected darkly, turning anger and grief inwards. Why, though? Why was it such a bad thing?
No answers came. Not for a long time. Eventually, though, one did: she didn't know how, but it had led to a bad place. Maybe in time she could figure out the whys of it, but for now the results were impossible to argue with.
The intentions behind it all, the morals that had guided her, they didn’t soothe any of the pain, did they? They existed only in her head—her actions were what had done the damage.
It was that thought that brightened the recollection of the slamming front door with an odd sense of relief, that revelation that urged her to hope, to turn wishful thoughts on herself and the women she’d wronged.
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Uh, I've got a shipment of black spoiler boxes here for you?
This is such a lovely image. It's her discovering who she is, and you can see how she claws her way towards something she can't even see, but knows when she arrives. It's an innocent delight in something terrible. And I think it's maybe the first strong suggestion that, whatever happens, Adagio will find her way sooner or later, and the truth will out
I really like the story's use of Rarity, too! That it's the girl with the flaws who isn't sucked in entirely by Sunset's idealism and zealotry, and the one who loves to gossip about relationships (and indeed to find her perfect prince one day) who recognises something's up with this one.
I mentioned it before, but this moment is wonderful. It feels so real, it's so effective at showing what Adagio is feeling, and it's also a hammer blow for Sunset realising what she just said, and who to.
Hasbro take note!
I hadn't before thought about how this line can work on a meta level. Adagio usually escapes rewriting slightly better than her sisters (one of whom is totally nice on the inside and the other is just as smart and not-ditzy as anyone else, didn't you know?), but still, it's good to see Ambergris held to account in the Similar column.
This is such a fantastic capturing of some of the attributes that villains possess where heroes so often fall short. And also of Adagio's willpower, which I think we've said before is probably the most powerful force in the FIM universe. For both reasons, it's a great illustration of how much better she is in stories when she's evil, and how much she's reduced when not.
This is my favourite moment in the story. It's where Adagio finds her voice enough to stop Sunset from framing the situation on her own terms. Adagio mentions that Sunset gets final say in everything, and this is the first time that's broken, and it's so very empowering to read.
I think this story is not only very special, it's also very important. And it takes a very difficult premise and sells it admirably.
This story didn't sit well with me. I think that Sunset's character here is definitely contradictory to every ounce of real character development she's made, especially taking into account "Forgotten Friendship" and her own decisions through the series to always acknowledge who she is and what's she's done and that she's better for being able to see her changes.
It's well written. Just... felt like the wrong character to me.
9138325
Thanks for reading, and especially for commenting! Sorry to hear it didn’t sit well with you--I’d expected this to get a bit of a backlash from some people, so it’s not much of a surprise to hear you saying it.
For what it’s worth, I do agree with you to an extent--while I would like to think that Sunset is at least consistent here, it did always feel to me that it took a bit of a leap to say that Sunset here and Sunset in Rainbow Rocks and onwards were the same person. Especially if you pictured it after Forgotten Friendship (Which was never how I pictured it--I’d imagined it fairly shortly after Rainbow Rocks, and only now realized that, uh, no, that’s not stated anywhere, which is entirely on me). Personally, I can kind of see her coming to the philosophy she shows here; she’s seen from her own experience how having a second chance/fresh start can be a wonderful change for the better, so I think it’s reasonable that she’d view Adagio’s memory loss as an overall good thing. Between that and her being something of a magic expert, I could see her perceived position of authority breeding a bit of arrogance and self-righteousness.
I can completely see where you’re coming from, just so we’re clear. I think it’s a valid criticism, and I’m glad you voiced it
Thanks again for reading!
9138112
Ooo, I was hoping someone would ask, I prepared a big little blurb/speech/announcement thingy!
*ahem*
It was--
Oh.
Well, fuck, this is awkward. Sorry, if you’re looking for someone who’s both those things, I’m not certain one exists
9138392 *Can vouch that Naiad is indeed not a person.
9138325 I can't agree with you there, I'm afraid. Sunset denied her past for a while, singing her song about how it didn't define her. What was it about Forgotten Friendship that changed things? The most relevant thing I can find in the end scene on the transcript is "Listen. I used to be just like you. Sure, I was popular, but I was lonely."
So I think that if, say, Wallflower had erased Sunset's memories of everything pre-Rainbow Rocks, she would be mostly ok with it?
I think she wouldn't say that Applejack, Rainbow or anyone else are weaker for not having a dark past, so I don't think it'd be seen as essential in that way? And if Adagio has a chance to forget, I think she'd see it more as not looking a gift horse in the mouth.
9138508 Not letting your past define you is an immensely different thing from denying it ever happened. She would never deny them the choice of knowing what happened. In this story we are seeing her hide away someone's past and deny them the knowledge of it. In Forgotten Friendship she jumps in front of everyone else to stop Wallflower from stealing their memories of who they were and what they had done together.
And I also disagree that she would be okay with losing her memories and then having other people decide for her that "it's best that she doesn't remember." That's her choice. Not theirs. Also, to clarify, the only reason she has the empathy to forgive Wallflower is precisely because she remembers what it was like.
Character development is not a blank slate every time. That's actually part of the whole point of Forgotten Friendship.
As for Adagio, there's no reason she'd even think her past actions were wrong. At least none given in the story. For all we know, she smacked her head one day on the wall and forgot who she was, meandered around the street and was swept into a relationship with Sunset. Here, it's presented that she doesn't remember, and Sunset abuses that trust from the beginning, which is another issue I have with her characterization in this.
Also, I have no idea what you're trying to say about her judging anyone as strong or week depending on dark pasts or not. That was never relevant nor brought up by me.
One final edit: and just to clarify, I reiterate, I think the story is well written. I'm not attacking the story at all, just the chosen character for Adagio's pairing in this. I would expect this kind of thing from a different, more possessive character than Sunset. I'd expect this more to come from a human version of Starlight Glimmer
9138325
I haven't read any of the comments yet, and that's on purpose.
Having just finished this story myself, I think I'd disagree. To me this actually felt like a completely plausible (and heartbreaking) story spun off of Rainbow Rocks, where Sunset had just grasped the concept of "friendship" after being rewritten herself with a rainbow laser upon her defeat very recently. I can easily see those concepts being warped by someone who's still trying to figure out right and wrong herself to do what she did here, fully believing that she was benevolent. I don't see anything in the story that contradicts this, either.
Meanwhile, the "paradise" of Sunset and Adagio living together calls back to the Siren insta-redemption fics that utterly flooded the site between 2014-2016, for purposes of easy shipping with the Rainboom of the author's choice. On a metafictional (and metafannish) level, this fic is a goddamn scalpel.
Honestly, I posit that this story's only "mistake" (outside of being a little too vague as to the cause of Adagio's amnesia for my tastes) is that it was published three years too late. If this had been written in 2014-2015, none of us (who weren't hardcore Sunset Can Do No Wrong fans) would be batting an eye at Sunset's "characterization" here--even me, who praises the show up and down and whose motto is Redeem All The Things.
I really like this gray-area take and consider it totally valid.
More chilling: one could even make a logical progression path for Forgotten Friendship having inspired this course of action in a weird, twisted way. The mind boggles with scary possibilities. Embrace the magic, Sunset.
Anyhow, time for me to go read the comments and find out how much of this was already covered.
As for you, Naiad
Just for the record, you've now inadvertently made me miserable twice in one day. And this time, it wasn't my fault.
Fortunately, this time I was also awake, so, just long as I have this plot point straight: Sunset found Adagio with Amnesia one day and decided to take full advantage? Is that what happened? I consider this story to be absolutely fantastic and chilling and no I was NOT sobbing uncontrollably while holding my Rarity plush as tightly as possible what are you talking about the sort of thing I wish I'd've been able to read in 2014. Alongside some good Siren redemption fics for balance of course (the number of which I can count on one hand).
As far as being something that could exist alongside the show... I personally would say that that status is dubious, yet still wholly arguable. But I'm pretty sure that was nowhere near the front of your mind when you wrote this. No, this is one of those kinds of "what if"s that fanfic was created for--and I love when I get to witness it up close.
9138629 We'll have to agree to disagree on that, then. Redemption of a character has no bearing on this, since that's never been argued.
The obstinate denial of the past which is what happened here is not something I ever saw her doing or justifying in RR. In fact, it is painfully obvious how aware of her previous actions she is and how she wants to be judged by who she is now, but she never pretended it never happened. It's not that I think that Sunset can do no wrong, thank you very much, it's that I interpreted her character growth in a considerably different way than where this story took it. You say you can see it, however, and that's cool too.
9138655
Preface: perfectly willing to agree to disagree as well! We probably have interpreted the canon differently. That said, I like to play around with tiny variations on what canon gives us, a lot.
Re: redemption: not arguing (honestly, I despise arguing), merely exploring. I like getting into the meat of why creative works were created in the first place, and the subject of saccharine redemption fics rang out to me like a billion alarms while reading this, along with the opinions of Siren fans I've talked to over the years. I considered it relevant as a Cool Thing if nothing else.
While this could be construed as "obstinate past denial", I also find this and the surrounding paragraphs (as well as any paragraphs where Sunset talks about Adagio's past and what's best for her) to be totally consistent with Sunset right after RR ended. My Past Is Not Today. Getting Twilight to deny Midnight Sparkle outright in LoE. Being really paranoid about any possible magical evils And How To Stop Them in both Mirror Magic and FG. Even her "hating to lose" in RoF. Sunset acknowledges that her past sucked, yes, but aside from that she moves ever forward, and encourages those around her to do the same, every chance she gets, because every time she's acknowledged that past, it has canonically brought her nothing but pain and lack of confidence that she's had to lean on others to get through.
Thus, as much as I feel that Sunset has learned and come a damned long way, and also that Forgotten could complicate things a bit (but also just as much not), from my reading, the author here just kind of... pulls a couple of really easy Sunset strings that could lead us to what we see here in a heartbeat.
(Hilariously, the best ammo against this story's characterization appears to be Anon-A-Miss, but people seem to love to hate that one :3)
The only question remaining is: would Sunset pull the figurative trigger? This fic explores if she did. I suppose we disagree on if she would. That's 100% fair. Speaking for myself, I personally see several scenarios where she misguidedly would, if she felt the safety of two universes was in mortal danger. But I totally see the other side of the coin, because, well, that's the side I prefer to write. :D
Related: reading one of your other comments, I also disagree that this ship/scenario would work better with a human Starlight. While in Season 6 she was really freaking awful at respecting boundaries (because she had to be re-taught right and wrong like an infant), there's ample evidence to suggest that Starlight has since come to terms with her past and melded her present reformed self with it--easy examples are her now-infamous Guidance Counselor scene, and her convincing Twilight to buck the rulebook in the S8 premiere. This sort of thing can even be traced to episodes like Shadow Play in S7. Thus I feel Starlight would have had less of a chance to do what Sunset did here, and might even be a better ship for Adagio overall.
...oh god what have I done
9138550 Oh dear, this got very long. Sorry.
In Forgotten Friendship she prevents someone from deliberately erasing the happy memories of bystanders who'd done nothing to deserve it. Here, she's encountered someone who, as far as they know, doesn't have a malicious bone in their body and has never done anything to hurt anyone, and she's working to preserve that unique opportunity for a fresh start. I think there are enough differences between the two that how she acts in Forgotten Friendship doesn't necessarily reflect how she'd act here.
Not letting your past define you and denying it ever happened are different, absolutely, but, with how she approaches it ("The old me really was just awful, wasn't she?") I think both of them are her trying to weasel her way out of taking responsibility for her actions. Forgotten Friendship is indeed relevant here, because that's how long it takes for her to go back and try to make amends with Princess Celestia. We know Equestria Girls is set in Autumn/Fall ('Fall Formal'), so the soonest Legend of Everfree could be is the next summer. I don't know how long after that Forgotten Friendship is supposed to be set, but in all that time of Sunset being good, she does not go back and apologise to Celestia, and wouldn't have done in Forgotten Friendship if she hadn't needed help. That, to me, suggests Sunset would rather forget the past and move on with her new life.
With that in mind, I think she would be more receptive than most to the idea of a spell that would erase the memory of her past. Or, much more importantly, she'd be receptive enough to the idea that that's what she'd tell herself is the right thing to do with Adagio. In point of fact, Sunset in this story might be very unwilling to give up control of herself like that. But of course she doesn't see herself as controlling of Adagio, just concerned for her, so she never has that thought.
It's an interesting thought that remembering what it was like herself is what gives Sunset the empathy to forgive Wallflower - is that suggesting that none of the other mane cast would have done so, as they didn't have that experience and therefore that empathy? That was what I meant about the others being weak or strong depending on dark pasts. If we are saying that Sunset is better at friendship because of her dark past, then the others must be not as good, right? Since they don't have villainous pasts?
And if that's the case, I disagree. Perhaps the others, lacking that perspective, wouldn't have forgiven Wallflower in Sunset's position. But I don't think Sunset would ever think such a horrible thing about her friends? And by extension, therefore, I don't think she'd think the memories of an evil past would be that much help to Adagio, since (in Sunset's opinion) her friends do just fine at friendship without needing troubled pasts?
Can I ask what you mean about character development not being a blank slate every time? Is it that, if a character's memory is wiped, they may develop in new and unexpected ways compared to before, as their circumstances will be different?
This leads us to Adagio! I think Adagio as seen in Rainbow Rocks would have no reason to think her actions were wrong, absolutely. I think if she'd retained her memories after losing her power when defeated, she still wouldn't think they were wrong. But here, Adagio has been 'raised' by Sunset - the nurture side of her upbringing comes entirely from someone who (thinks she) knows all about friendship, and as a result, Adagio in this story has a very different character, basically being a younger-seeming, more innocent copy of Sunset. And I think she'd be devastated to learn about her past, as most people who consider themselves decent humans would. And the final possible version of Adagio: this, raised-by-Sunset Adagio, but after regaining her memories? That's tougher to say, I think. I don't think we see enough in the story to be sure whether all the old memories coming back will bring more of her old personality and principles, too. She does say that she and her sisters were awful people, but then she's only just starting to get her memories back even when the story ends.
Yeah, I think Adagio turned up one day - I'd guess her memory loss came from her gem shattering, or the after-effects of that, rather than a random head injury, but either way - and Sunset looked at her and (much to Sunset's surprise) saw no evil in her. Nothing to need redeeming. Just a defenceless girl who wouldn't hurt a fly, and needed help. And at first, I think her instinct would be to help. Then, as they grow closer, and Adagio learns from Sunset and becomes more like her, Sunset's priorities shift more towards protecting Adagio from anything that might risk stopping her from being the nice, friendly person she's become. I don't think there's any suggestion, prior to the events of the story, that Adagio is likely to remember - I think everyone believes it's a risk, but there's been no suggestion of it actually happening yet.
So, if I think therefore I am, and therefore I am my thoughts, and Adagio lacks the thoughts of all the bad things she did, then she is in some ways a different person. She doesn't deserve the guilt or shame of her past actions, because she is completely separated from the personality, the bundle of thoughts, feelings and principles, which led to them. In Sunset's eyes, this new version of Adagio has done no wrong, and so should be spared from all that pain.
And that's how Sunset sees it. I'm reminded of the film Total Recall, come to think of it (the Schwarzenegger version, of course), where the twist is an amnesiac protagonist discovering a video from his own past revealing that he was in league with those he's viewed as villains since returning to consciousness from his memory loss. Which he is rather upset by, and that's what Sunset hopes to help Adagio avoid.
There's also the simple fact that Sunset doesn't know whether Adagio will stay 'good,' if she does regain her memories. It's not just about protecting her from the horrors of her past, but also from stopping her from becoming that person again. Sunset has no idea how strong siren instincts are, or even that much about who Adagio used to be (other than that Sunset assumes Adagio used to be someone much like Old Sunset), so she really doesn't know if the ethics she's raised Adagio to now believe in will stick if Adagio gets her memories back. The humane seven stopped the sirens once before, so Sunset probably needn't rationally fear the end of the world if Old Adagio comes back. But it would scupper this chance Adagio has at being a good person, which might be the only one she gets - if her older personality is able to resurface and make her a villain again, even with however long Sunset's been teaching her to be a good person for, then post-defeat redemption like so many others have gone through in MLP probably won't work so well for her.
I have to disagree about Starlight, or perhaps suggest that it might work but in a different way. There's Every Little Thing She Does, of course, in which she's gleefully indifferent to the concept of free will. But, firstly as Bookish says, that was a long time ago, and Starlight has come a long way since. But secondly, it's not indifference that's driving the oppressing character here. Sunset is driven in this story absolutely by the need to control. That's why the end comes when Adagio steps out of the front door, because once she's outside and away from Sunset, she can break free of Sunset's influence and make her own choices. And Starlight, as far as I see, doesn't really have that drive to control? She did depower a whole village, true! But I don't think many of her actions since then have suggested that that's a motivator for her, so I'd suggest that, even back then, that was more out of absolute idealism from her.
The one I'd suggest, if the story were to take place with any other character, would be Twilight. We see in both Lesson Zero and It's About Time that Twilight goes into total meltdown when her carefully-ordered life starts to unravel. But it's not just because she likes order, since things are in disarray plenty anytime there's a proper crisis, and she keeps herself together. It's more that her own life is something she feels she can control down to the smallest detail with checklists and schedules, and so when she loses her autonomy over that most basic of areas, she becomes unhinged. As such, I could see her (at a stretch!) keeping a firm hold over Adagio's rehabilitation. Just look how she tries to control who Starlight makes friends with in No Second Prances. Twilight realises her mistake by the end of the episode, but Starlight is much, much more confident standing up for herself and explaining than Adagio is here, and that's what it takes for Twilight to appreciate being wrong.
Then there's the angle of Twilight being the Princess of Friendship, so she does have more experience (and, more frighteningly, more authority) in deciding things regarding the best approach to the magic of friendship than most. Still, though, you'd hope Twilight would know better. Whether Sci-Twi would work is an interesting one - I always thought Friendship Games should have had Midnight Sparkle fixated on control rather than knowledge, because, as above, I think that's the flaw haunting Pri-Twi which she tries to rise above. But, as that did pan out, I don't think what applied to Pri-Twi would apply to Sci-Twi in this context.
I think it's most in-character, of the mane cast, for Sunset. She's the one with the hair-trigger temper on several occasions when someone says something she doesn't like, most recently when a fairground stall doesn't deliver the results she's expecting. She needs to be in control. She's also the one who most lectures villains on their failings, and helps them rehabilitate to embrace the magic of friendship. And it's that zealotry that leads her astray here, giving her the illusion of ultimate justification for her actions, so much so that the bad things she's doing controlling Adagio like that don't even occur to her.
Just in case it doesn't come across, I agree with every word you say about how wrong Sunset's actions are. I cannot condemn them strongly enough, and absolutely don't think she's in the right. Where I disagree is in whether or not they're out of character for her.
9138629
This I think is the most addressable story technical issue raised!
I know Naiad has a theory of exactly what's responsible for that, but it didn't make it into the story for practical reasons (neither Sunset nor reborn-Adagio would know) and because it didn't actually affect the plot, whatever it was. Would that have helped make the premise more solid for you, then, rather than been an extraneous detail?
Totally, totally fine that you'd have different tastes in that respect!
Purely from a technical standpoint, that seemed like something irrelevant, so it's really good you mention it or stuff like that would never be included next time 
9138838
No, I totally see where you're coming from and I thought for a long time about whether to point it out! I even read the story a second time to decide whether or not I cared. Lord knows wanting to know random irrelevant details derails a lot of discussion in this fandom. >_<
So, I pretty much guessed the twist of the story after the first scene--from there my mind went to so many different possible scenarios as to what Sunset had done to recondition Adagio. Was the Memory Stone involved? Were the Elements of Harmony or Geodes involved since they've been shown to be able affect people and ponies psychologically? Did the Dazzlings' magical defeat at the end of RR (and their subsequent gems cracking) perhaps have an amnesiac effect that took hold until Sunset found Adagio one day? Simply put, how much was my heart going to break at the end of all this, and how plausible would it be given how I much I know about your feelings regarding Sunset, and have tangential cause to believe that Naiad agrees with a lot of those feelings ~_^?
So in my mind, the cause of Adagio's amnesia determines just how proactive Sunset was in the proceedings, which speaks to where Naiad would be taking the character as an author. Did she decide, as I can actually see in my darkest thoughts, to "finish the job" post-RR via magical means while convincing herself she was performing a kindness given that her own past causes her no end of guilt? Or did she take advantage of a situation that dropped into her lap? And what events/rationalizations led to her making the decision in the first place? It's story garnish, to be sure, but of the type where you can clearly taste a (non-dish-ruining) difference if not present.
Hope that helps.
Holy SHIT that's a good short description you have. I'd make it the short and long, honestly. I almost never read ponyfics anymore, but you earned yourself a reader just off that.
9138805
9138635
Firstly, thanks for reading and commenting! I’m very glad you found stuff to like here
If it’s any consolation, a big big part of this story was me kinda eviscerating one of my all-time favorite ships, so you’re not the only one to have gotten a bit of misery out of this one--bits of it were very very very hard to write.
Heartbreaking was exactly what it was meant to be, though, so I hope you don’t mind if I indulge myself and giggle gleefully
That’s more or less what happened, yeah--there is, I believe, a bit alluding to there being some discussion amongst Sunset and her friends on what to do about Adagio. Sunset was the magic expert, so they deferred (Reluctantly, in at least one case) to her judgment and left her watching over Adagio.
I’m inclined to agree with that, yeah? I think there was probably more effort put into making the story internally consistent than there was in making sure it fit neatly with canon; Adagio in particular has very very little in common with her canon self, and, though the comments section shows the extent is clearly up for debate, Sunset kinda doesn’t either.
Ah, so, this part. Some explanation, first: I legitimately had not once considered, throughout the writing process, that it was anything but the breaking of Adagio’s gem that did it, nor did I ever stop to think about what conclusions other people might draw in that regard. I did, however, want to leave at least the possibility of Aria and Sonata being in the same circumstances, which in my mind ruled out the possibility of Sunset having been the one to take Adagio’s memory from her--or it would have, if I’d considered that possibility, but, again, I didn’t.
And there isn’t much in the story to draw much of a conclusion from, really--the first line of the long description, “When Adagio turned up shortly after the Battle of the Bands with apparently no memory of ever being a siren, Sunset wasn’t convinced right away” is the only place I can think of where there’re even scraps of information related to the cause of it.
So, uh, thanks for bringing it up!
It’s super helpful to know that you were thinking and theorizing about that kind of thing as you were reading, because I would not have guessed that anyone would’ve been!
Out of interest, would you say that you guessing the twist had just to do with the text of the story itself? Sorry, it’s just that you also say later on that you suspected I had some issues with Sunset (Which isn’t completely wrong), and I’m curious whether or not that significantly colored how you read that first scene.
9139051
I appreciate that you thought of that, but I think you’re bringing up some very good points, so as long as it’s at least mostly related to the story, I’m totally fine with the conversation staying here
9139030
Thank you! I’ve never thought of myself as being good with descriptions, so it’s nice to know that I can get one right sometimes
... And now that you propose it, the idea of making it the long one as well is kinda tempting. Will give that a think tomorrow
Lol
Sequel?
9140494
Not likely. To be blunt, the ending is about where the story stops being interesting for me.
Wow that's a long comment section, Summer must be here!
That last scene was a good addition! It definitely feels more resolved, and gives some nice extra insight to Sunset's thinking. Poor thing. Best intentions pave the road to hell
9143108
I have no idea why you would you say such a slanderous thing! Summer’s comments only account for about 40% of the cumulative comment wordcount so far (Not counting quotes).
If there’s one thing that’s been consistent in my stories as of late, it’s that best intentions and Sunset sleeping with Adagio do not go well together at all
I had something between a frown and a grimace on my face the entire time I read this. At first I thought that it was a case of a super-happy redemption fic being taken well beyond the pale into the realm of the extremely inappropriate, but by the time I got to the end I saw how it was intentional.
What Sunset did here--grooming a person with no (remembered) life experience--might as well be child abuse. She was grooming Adagio to be her perfect little pet, whether she was able to admit it or not. I'm sure this was the intention of the story, given that Adagio eventually calls Sunset out for how she's isolated her. Even knowing that this was the intended effect of the story, I couldn't enjoy it, simply for how unpleasant the material in question is. Of course, I don't think it's supposed to be enjoyed, so good job?
9138655
I have to agree with WandererD about Sunset not being a great choice for the role that she played. I'm also of the opinion that she wouldn't deny someone their memories. More than that, I find it difficult to imagine Sunset's friends allowing Sunset to do what she's done in the story. Yes, Rarity did seem to protest Sunset's actions in some small way, but after six months I feel like they would've figured out that what Sunset has been doing isn't on the level.
9163025
Thanks for commenting, I appreciate you sharing your thoughts
I can definitely appreciate how the subject matter of this one isn’t for everyone. But, the underlying premise of Sunset being abusive was present from very early in the writing process, so I knew from the beginning that I wanted this to be a bit uncomfortable to read. In that sense, I’m kind of glad it was.
The matter of whether Sunset fits this story is an odd one, I think. Bookish Delight put it this way, which I’m inclined to agree with:
And my own stance is that Sunset’s seen, in her own life, only positive changes from ridding herself of her darker past, so, in my mind, if she had reason to think that Adagio’s memories would drudge all that back up, she’d be at least tempted to try and stop that from happening. Throw in a bit of underlying selfishness and a position of some power/authority and I can see something like this happening. While I will concede that Sunset might not fit the role she had in this story exactly, I personally can’t really see anyone fitting it better.
That being said, I will admit that it is a bit of a leap to go from Canon Sunset to Sunset as she’s depicted in this story. I get the impression that you and Wanderer D see the character differently than I do, which is completely fine.
Yep, totally fair! I think, to an extent, I can see that happening, if reluctantly (I mean, obviously, I wrote the darn thing), but there’s not much rationalization for it presented in the story itself
So I will file that away as something I perhaps could have made more clear.
9163129
Thanks for the response! I'm definitely going to check out a few of your other stories; I just hope the other Adagio x Sunset stories are a bit happier!
9163181
I’m a bit flattered that you’d want to seek out more of mine when this one wasn’t quite your thing
As you might’ve noticed by now, happy SunDagio is oddly not so much a thing for me--the closest I’ve come to unambiguously happy SunDagio lately is in a story that likely won’t be published for quite some time, and everything else has been I think bittersweet at best
I hope you find something to enjoy in my other stories, though
Another really well done horrible twisty mess. Remind me to not read your stories when I want to be in a good mood...
Not a lot of things to say that haven't been covered yet though. Road to hell...good intentions...only bright side being that Sunset's not so far gone as to realize at the end that she was wrong. Not too much canon characterization but eh...it works well for what it does. Filing it under ‘horrifyingly plausible alternate universe’.
Also, Sunset here demonstrates the classic problem of smart people: being really good at rationalization.
9168160
As I said above, I’ve done happier things, but they’re likely not coming out for a long time, so the best I have right now is bittersweet, doubly so when it comes to SunDagio.
Yeah, “horrifyingly plausible” seems to be a recurring theme of my work lately
You’re right, not a lot of canon characterization here. I think Sunset’s outlook here is a natural extension/exaggeration of bits of how she is in canon, personally, but I won’t deny that it’s a bit of a leap to get from canon to here.
Thanks for reading, glad you liked it
I decided to give this a read once the contest results came in, and I was not disappointed. This was excellent, you really put me right there with Sunset.
To throw in my two cents regarding the debate, I was actually perfectly fine with how Sunset was characterized. However, I do have another critique. I'm not sure you captured a romantic relationship here. If you take away the physical intimacy, this could easily be read as a mother/daughter dynamic, with Sunset as the protective mother overflowing with affection and Adagio as the inquisitive teenage daughter growing into a more independent life. It's a good story either way, just not necessarily the one you set out to write, I guess.
9258471
Thanks for reading and commenting, I appreciate you sharing your thoughts
And I was going to say I've been meaning to read your entry too, but nope, the stories you've written recently I've been interested in have been for every contest except this one
I completely agree with you, though! One of the reasons I was so surprised to see this one place was that I didn't feel like I'd written a story about romantic love. Even the physical intimacy, I was hesitant to include much of, because I thought that having Sunset be potentially emotionally and sexually abusing Adagio would've been too much. So, yeah, I completely believe that this could come across as a mother/daughter kinda thing.
Whether that makes it not the one I set out to write is... maybe not quite true, though? I was sort of going for a parent/child relationship, in a way, with Sunset perceiving Adagio as being like a child and therefore in need of protection even though they nominally should've been equals. And I think that really fits Sunset's character here, since she's kind of inserting herself as a figure of authority and moral guidance, almost like a mother. A commenter above compared Sunset's actions here to child abuse, which I don't completely disagree with. But, when all was said and done, I was much more fixated on what Sunset was doing than what kind of label best fit their relationship, so I wouldn't necessarily call that an error on my part.
This story was really hooking from start to finish. I see what people mean when they say Sunset was out of character, but I just say this is AU and it's fine.
You can has review!
Oh geez. That was really hard to read, in all the right ways. I swear this needs a Thriller tag. You are the real deal.
9308040
What makes you say that? Not saying you're wrong, just curious what your reasoning was--I've not read many Thriller stories at all, so I'm not exactly clear on what the distinguishing qualities of them would be.
I seem to be steadily convincing more and more people I am, anyway
9308298
I'll be honest and say I don't really know what defines it, either.
But this was thrilling, to be sure. So much tension and suspense!
9308592
I won't argue with that interpretation of it!
I think that tag would be a bit of a spoiler, though, and maybe raise false expectations--I tend to think of more action-ish stuff when I hear Thriller, and this was just two confused lesbians agonizing over their emotions.
9308754
Understandable. :)
I just reread this, having not read it since it was first published, and I'd left it long enough to forget some of the specifics of the lines. Having been involved in its creation before, this was kind of like my first look at it as a reader, from the outside looking in. That said, I hadn't forgotten any of the plot directions, so I had an expectation of how I expected it to read, and it didn't always line up with how it actually did.
One thing I really noticed was how much I felt for Sunset, whereas I recall always being on Adagio's side every step of the way through the story coming into being. Sunset's controlling moments still stand out right from the outset as bad, and pitting me against her. They're like little moments of dissonance in an otherwise-nice piece of music, and you kind of mentally try to ignore them and focus on the good. And obviously by the end one is desperate for Adagio to get out. But the real skill on display here is how you write Sunset as internally separating her own ills from the collapse of her relationship.
So, the truth of the situation is that Adagio is gradually building steam enough to break free from an abusive relationship. The further she's pushed, the more she realises she has to stand up for herself. And, what Sunset should be feeling, if she were being totally honest and objective with herself, is that she's losing control of Adagio. And, if Sunset's narration reflected that, we'd see her as the villain of the piece right away.
But of course, Sunset does what all controlling spouses do (indeed, all humans) and phrases the situation in her own terms. She sees it as her relationship falling apart, just as she would a relationship where she wasn't controlling and manipulative and definitely to blame. And that bit hits really hard, too! Like, obviously the Adagio breaking free angle does, but we're right there with Sunset feeling the light walk out of her life.
So you're left with this wonderful triple impact of the edge-of-your-seat tension and tragedy of Sunset going through a breakup which she obviously doesn't connect with being her own fault - which feels far too familiar, as no one going through a breakup ever does feel like they're to blame or that it's deserved. So in that way, you're rooting for the breakup not to happen. But simultaneously, there's the yearning for Adagio to manage to escape, because she's in a horrible situation and that's the only positive outcome for her. And then there's the final thing of the crushing realisation of what you've been supporting in hoping they stay together, and of how you relate to an abuser, and why you need to sit down and think about your conduct.
It should be a fairly black and white story of right and wrong, but you wrote Sunset so well that the reader really connects with what she's going through, and that's what gives the story its biting dissonance of changing 'this is a villain' to 'this is someone just like you or I.'
...Which she isn't, of course. She's firmly in the wrong here, and it would be nice if we, in that situation, realised it a lot earlier than she did. I'd really like to think we would realise it before we went into it at all. But the point is that we relate to her.
Also, I see exactly what a previous commenter means about the mother/daughter vibe; I think that's right for the story, as Sunset does subconsciously believe that she's the adult in the situation empowered to make the decisions, and knows what's best for Adagio. I think it's just that we far more often encounter happy parent/child situations than we do abusive relationships. I think it was pitched right for the latter, too, though.
9557108
Such a lovely thing to be surprised by! 
This is some of the most thoughtful, articulate feedback I've gotten in recent memory
One of the questions that came up early in the writing process was which POV the story would be shown from, and I think your reasoning here reinforces not only how crucial that decision was, but also how much the story would have suffered if it'd been made differently. Because I think you're totally right: I struggle to call Sunset a 'villain' here, and I think that's a big part of why the story works, and I think that part of the reason I see her that way is due to how we do get to see her not only rationalizing things, but suffering alongside Adagio. And while I think that the more thriller-ish side of the story people have mentioned might have benefitted from a shift in perspective, I don't think that could've been done without badly compromising Sunset's character.
That being said, I think one of the big reasons I did want to show the story from Sunset's side of things was because it'd make her more sympathetic, because everyone's assumption going into this story is going to be that she's more or less a good person, and seeing her so warped from the outside, I thought would've been too jarring for most people to handle. Which makes me wonder if I'd have thought differently if it was a character besides Sunset taking on the role of the abuser here--that might be one area in a flawed ship suited the situation quite well, which is an odd thought.
(I'd like to think not, in some ways. Writing the story from Adagio's POV, the story I think would've had to hinge on Adagio's discoveries, which feels like it'd be building up to a 'twist' that the reader would've seen coming from far off, which seems rather pointless)
Why. Has. No. Guitar. Player. EVER. Called. It. This. To. Me?
9588750
Couldn't tell you, I'm afraid, but that's, as far as I'm aware, the technical term and I thought it made sense for Sunset to use it here even if it was a bit unusual.
9588775
I just feel lied to. Not by you, but every human who's ever told me, "I play guitar," and proceeded to explain the instrument and its pieces to me.
Naiad: “I have some favorite ships. I like Sunset & Adagio, Rarity & Sunset, and Adagio & Rarity
Fylifa: After reading the stories
Though teasing aside. Sometimes we have to hurt the ones we love because conflict is what makes a story and putting our beloveds through the emotional wringer makes for compelling narrative. It’s easy to write a story that is “And then the villain changes their wicked ways and becomes friends and they live happily ever after ever! Preferably also smooching said hero(s) who reformed them.”
I’m gonna be real. I didn’t like Sunset like at all in EqG1. I thought she was an asspull outta nowhere. “Oh yeah I had tons of students before you Twilight, so hard to keep track of them. This one ran away and like whoopsie daisy looks like she’s back for revenge. Guess I should have done something about that than nothing at all.” and I thought her resolution was terrible. “Mwhahaha I am an evil demoness now.” “Friendship Laser to the face!” “Oh. I am so sorry everyone.” “It’s okay. Be friends with these weird clones of my friends. Not. Like. Come back to Equestria and make up with Celestia or anything. Stay here in the alternate reality.” “Okay bye, Twilight!”
It’s a miracle that we got Rainbow Rocks. Which introduced the best songs, best villains and actually gave Sunset a realistic grounding since it starts off with people (justifiably) hating her.
In a paradoxical way. Rainbow Rocks is actually less about the sirens themselves and is more about giving Sunset a movie long redemption arc. Which I still get teary eyed up over when I hear the mic pickup part of Welcome to the Show.
I read the comments who say that Sunset wouldn’t be such a manipulating person, but its an interesting question.
Getting harmony beamed doesn’t actually seem to change someone fundamentally. Take Luna. She gets zapped out of NMM form, but you can easily see the Luna in Luna Eclipsed if she didn’t have Twilight to help her angry and telling Celestia “It’s just like how it was 1000 years ago! They all think I am a monster. I tried and I canceled their stupid holiday and it made everypony hate me more. I am not going to try with people anymore. Brood. brood. brood.” and then you get Nightmare Moon again in few years.
Conversely, Sunset is an angel figurative and literal sense of things… but how she is in Forgotten Friendship shows she isn’t above her flaws. She trembles in anger. She is pretty accusatory of Trixie. And when she finds about Wallflower she literally looks ready to pound Wallflower’s face in.
And this is Post-Friendship Laser, Post-Daymare Angel, Post-Legends of Everfree Empathy-stone Sunset! Is she really all that different from how she was before?
My point is that I can totally see Sunset falling into your characterization here. Where she might not exactly have a holier-than-thou attitude, she could definitely have a “Listen to me because I know what’s best.” And it provides an interesting contrast. In her efforts of trying to save Adagio from her past, Sunset slips into the worst habits of her own. Genuinely and honestly trying to do good. But ‘being good’ is a recent thing for her and telling lies to spare someone pain also stops people from growing from that pain.
I think it makes this story all the more tragic. That moment where Sunset impulsively shuts the door and stands above a trembling, fearful Adagio is a fantastic visual. A nice moment of “Wait...am I the bad one? How can I be the bad one if I did everything right?” that haunts her afterwards. I also enjoyed the word choice of “I don’t want you (to leave)” not something like “Please don’t leave me” or even “I am sorry.”
It’s a thing that people who are abusive sometimes don’t even realize how abusive they are. No one sets out to be a villain in relationship. No one who gets married plans on getting divorced. I did like that self reflection and almost bewilderment on Sunset’s part at the end. It’s very realistic which is why its so heart wrenching.
10005150
ok ok look in my defense
one of those stories was for a contest about cheating, and I couldn't let poor sweet fluffsiren stay in a relationship that went in that direction
and one of them was for a contest that explicitly called for a relationship to end
… don't have an excuse for this one, tho. Thought it'd be funny to make Sunset the bad guy. the judges would never see that coming!
I didn't either
Admittedly, I didn't like EqG 1 just generally speaking, but Sunset wasn't a redeeming quality. If nothing else, like. Twilight's fought Discord and Tirek, but suddenly this surly high school student's supposed to be menacing? 
And her redemption at the end was probably one of the big reasons I was so sure Rainbow Rocks was going to be awful. I don't think it was until I saw the rest of the school still throwing shade at Sunset that I thought okay maybe this won't be so bad (Actually it was maaaybe a bit before that, since I giggled when Adagio pulled her hood down and it was just like suddenly three people worth of hair is here).
This is an interesting question! I'd certainly like to think it doesn't, absolutely. Whether it's ultimately a "better" change or not, just rewriting someone with a laser beam like that is pretty quality dystopia fuel.
But I think probably the biggest issue I have with what they've done with Sunset since Rainbow Rocks is that it feels like she actually was fundamentally changed, in a pretty drastic way, by that beam event. Or perhaps it just seems that way because we have Starlight Glimmer to compare her to; that's a pony who was obviously a villain at one point in her life, and I love how the show gives a little nod to that now and then, whether it's her trying to solve friendship problems with mind control or admiring Cozy Glow's deviousness during a counseling session.
With Sunset, I don't really get that same impression. She talks about "the old me" in Rainbow Rocks, and I think it really does feel like EqG 1 Sunset is a completely different person from post Rainbow Rocks Sunset, who feels more and more like walking talking waifu bait. I think you're right, her flaws still surface now and then, but I think the underlying morals are pretty different? I got a sense of entitlement and kind of vindictiveness from her in EqG 1--she thinks she deserves power and respect and all that sort of thing, so she lashes out in anger at people who aren't letting her get it. I think that's a pretty fundamentally different behavior from snapping at people for hurting her friends.
And perhaps that did come about for from being accepted and all that than directly from the rainbow beam. I'd say there's enough of a time skip... probably... does time even exist in Equestria Girls world...? Whatever.
But regardless, part of the motive for this story, the way I always saw things, is that whether the rainbow beam really did change Sunset on a fundamental level or not, she saw the change that came about from it as being almost a start of a completely different life. To her, the person she used to be is bad, she's gone, and that's a good thing. The life she used to live is over, and that's a good thing. So when she sees bits of Adagio's older self creeping back, she leaps to the conclusion that that's a bad thing and she has to stop it, because her experience had been that suppressing her past and throwing it away was fairly objectively the best decision she'd made in her life.
… That got pretty meaty
Definitely an interesting topic, though, and I love that you brought it up 
I am really glad this came across! And that Sunset's character as a whole felt plausible to you. I always thought that was the big leap I was asking people to take with this one; I certainly hoped that this story's portrayal of Sunset is consistent with herself, but consistency with the canon Sunset, I expected would be a lot harder for some people to swallow.
Thanks so much for reading! It's been quite a while since I got comments this fun